Peter
James, Sirius, and Remus all walk in together, joking amongst themselves.
Two plates float in front of them; I see the remains of breakfast on one of them. Meaning they've been out having fun without me all morning. Had a picnic breakfast, I guess.
It stings to see them all laughing together without me. Add me in and that could have been us any number of days last year. But I guess even after seven years of friendship, I'm still expendable.
This whole year we've been falling apart. But they'd been falling apart too. It wasn't just me.
Last year, we were a group, the four of us. This year… sometimes we are. But not very often.
James spends a lot of his time with Lily these days. And Remus and Sirius… well, I've always been an afterthought to Sirius, I think. I've never been cool, interesting, charismatic. Not the way he and James are. But Remus isn't either, so why does Sirius still want to hang out with him?
The first couple months this year, I was Sirius's shadow. I figured he'd be the new leader, now that James spent half his time off with Lily. I thought if I was always around, I'd naturally be included. But more often than not, Sirius seemed annoyed that I was there. Not only was I unnecessary, apparently I was also unwelcome.
I guess Remus feels sorry for me, because he still invites me along sometimes. But it's hard to imagine that even he doesn't hope I'll say no.
And all that stings, but I've had months to get used to it. And it wasn't just me, things were falling apart for them too.
But apparently now the three of them have made up. Apparently now the three of them are a group again. Without me.
It's hard not to wish that Lily had never changed her mind, never given James a chance. Lily may act nice, but she's costing me all my friends.
Author's note: Just a heads up that I've changed the ash tree to a beech tree for canon compliance in some previous chapters.