"Watermelon Sugar" by Harry Styles

That night, mom, Adrienne, Tyler, the twins, and I were all gathered around a campfire. Declan was sitting on the ground against my shins while Kelly was in my lap. Both kids had sticks and were toasting marshmallows. Declan kept insisting that his was better burned while Kelly was barely dipping hers in the fire before giving up and deciding to just eat the marshmallows straight from the bag.

"Mom, there's some guy that keeps watching us," Kelly whispered, putting her small arms around my neck and hugging me closer. I glanced behind me. Connor was standing there.

"It's okay, honey," I kissed her cheek. "Why don't you go sit on Uncle Tyler's or grandma's lap and I'll be right back?"

"I kind of didn't believe ye," Connor said, watching the twins as they went over to my mom and Tyler. Declan grinned and waved at me before going back to burning his marshmallow. "They look happy."

"They are," I said, turning my gaze to him.

"He looks like Murph."

"Probably because he's Declan's father," I sighed in irritation. "Are you just here to bait me into bringing the kids up to the house? Because I won't do that. I'm not going to just shock them like that. They're happy."

"I'm not here to bait you," Connor put his hands up in surrender. "I just think you should tell Murphy."

"I'll literally tell him right now. There's never been an issue of me telling him things." The harshness of my words made him wince. I tried to reel in my anger. "I'm sorry. That's not anger for you."

"It's not entirely displaced. Murphy is around if ye want to see him."

"Yeah, just let me tell Tyler and my mom first since they'll be stuck watching the kids until I'm back." He nodded, staying where he was as I went to the camp.

Kelly looked up at me, her eyes narrowing at my face. "Mom, why do you look like you swallowed a bee?"

I reached down and ruffled her hair, trying my best to smile. Tyler was also studying me while my mom was trying to tame Declan's desire to put a flaming marshmallow in his mouth. "Don't worry about it, sweetheart, Mom's just gotta take care of some things, alright?"

I leaned down so that I was eye level with the twins.

"Now you two be good for Uncle Tyler and grandma, alright?"

"Okay," they said in unison, both exaggerating the amount of energy that would take before grinning at each other and giggling. I knew as soon as I walked away they were going to get up to some kind of shit that would drive my mom crazy. Tyler is a lot better at handling it.

"We've got it," Tyler nodded at me.

"Thanks." My mom said nothing, clearly sizing Connor up.

Connor and I ascended the hill in silence as he led me over to the barn on the outskirts of the property. I couldn't see the camp from here any more, I noticed as I looked back over my shoulder while Connor opened the door.

"It's about damn time ye showed up," Murphy yelled without turning around. "I've been fecking looking after the sheep all meself today. What have ye even-," he stopped, dropping the shearing equipment to the floor when he saw me. Similarly to Connor, his hair and beard were excessively long. He looked like I was about to murder him.

"Look who I ran into," Connor grinned, delighting in the fact that Murphy looked so unbelievably uncomfortable. When Murphy said nothing, Connor glanced at me. "It's Cecilia-"

"I know who it is, ye twat," Murphy glared at him. He went back to staring at me in silence.

"It's nice to see you, too, Murphy," I tried to hold back my laughter. He seemed to snap out of it then.

"I didnae mean it like that," he insisted. "What are ye doing here? I thought ye were in Germany."

"I was," I said dismissively. "Now I'm here. Our other project finished and we got a new one." This was not going how I had pictured this in my head over the years.

"But ye have kids there." Immediately, he realized his mistake. Connor stiffened beside me, looking confused and then horrified. Apparently Murphy had tracked me down. And Connor hadn't even been aware. I think he was expecting me to be angry. Instead, I was dumbfounded.

"You're an absolute idiot still," I shook my head. Connor slowly turned around and started walking out of the barn. "Whose kids do you think they are?"

He mumbled something that I didn't catch. I raised my eyebrows. "I saw Tyler and I assumed-"

"Oh my god," I threw my hands up. "Tyler is still gay. They're your kids, Murphy."

"They're mine?"

"Yeah, the one looks almost exactly like you. When you aren't under all of...that." I motioned to his hair and beard.

"I'm a dad."

"Yeah, it's why Tyler told you to get in touch with me."

"Ye didn't try to get in touch with me, either."

"Murphy, you went and executed someone in broad daylight on national television and then went into hiding." I crossed my arms. "I'm sorry I didn't look very hard for you while I was trying to adjust to raising twins in a foreign country that I didn't even speak the language in. I've never gone into hiding or tried to make it hard for you to find me. Which, apparently, you did." He shifted uncomfortably.

I sighed.

"I'm going to go. Come find me if you ever want to actually talk about anything." I turned to leave. Just as I was about to open the door, Murphy wedged himself between the door and me.

"I'm afraid I'll never see you again," he admitted quietly. "I held on to that idea for so long. That I'd never see ye again." I studied his face. Being this close to him still felt comfortable.

"I've never wanted to not see you again, Murphy." That wasn't a lie. I had never moved on from our relationship. Not into anything serious anyway. I always held out hope that he'd come back. "I just didn't want to be part of that life."

"I know," he admitted softly.

"It's not a life for kids."

"Aye, it's not, love."

"I have to think about them first, that's just how it is."

"That's how I'd want it. That's how our Ma was. We were always first."

"I obviously don't know what you've been up to since Boston. And I don't need to know. But if that's still your life, I can't have you meeting them. At least not as their father. I'm not going to open them up to you coming in and out of their relationship with you or to them being exposed to that kind of life."

"We don't do that anymore. We haven't since Boston."

"Do you want to meet them?" I held up a hand before he could speak. "It will not be immediately. I'll have to explain who you are first. I'm not going to surprise them. It's not fair to them and it's not fair to you."

"I'd like that." He reached out, brushing his fingers against my cheek to tuck some of my hair behind my ear. I surprised him by kissing him. His hands found their way into my hair as I pulled him closer. And then I was out the door, heading back to camp. I didn't need to turn around to know that he was watching me leave.