"If Children Were Wishes" by Wye Oak

I walked back to camp, Kelly and Declan had fallen asleep on Tyler and my mom and Adrienne had retired to her quarters by the time that I got back. The fire was dying down and the nightly chill had set in. "I'll help you put them to bed," Mom said. I resisted the urge to sigh and roll my eyes. That was her way of saying she was about to have some things to say to me once Tyler wasn't around. He shot me a sympathetic look as I took Kelly from him. She groggily opened her eyes, realized it was me, and then fell asleep again. These kids will sleep through anything, I swear. Mom and I took the kids inside, taking off their shoes and getting them into pajamas, and then tucked them into their beds. Within seconds, they were asleep again.

Mom walked outside, motioning for me to follow her. I glanced back at the kids, seriously deciding if I should wake one of them up as an excuse to lay in their bed and snuggle them, but also accepting that using my kids as a scapegoat would likely be frowned upon. I sighed and followed her, dragging my feet behind me.

"That was the father?" Mom demanded, crossing her arms. "He looks homeless."

"No, that's not their father. That's their uncle."

"He still looks homeless."

"He lives and works on the farm there."

"You knew they were living there. That's why you brought these kids to Ireland instead of leaving them in Germany with their friends." Oh boy. It's been a while since we've had one of these fights.

"No, Mom, I didn't know that they were living here. I didn't know where they were."

"But you told them about the children?"

"Yes, mom, they have eyes and they both deserve to know."

"Both? You're involved with both of them? What would your father think?"

"Well they're Irish, so Dad would've loved them," I quipped. "And, no, I wasn't involved with both of them." I thought of kissing Murphy again. It had been so easy, so comfortable. I couldn't imagine that kind of closeness with anyone else.

"So this is why you've never kept anyone around for more than a few weeks. You're still in love with the man that abandoned you and didn't want any part of their lives."

"Okay, stop. Now," I crossed my arms as I stared her down. "None of that is true. Murphy didn't abandon us, I technically broke up with him, and he didn't know he had children. I never contacted him to give him the option and then I lost track of him. But I will not have you badmouth him for something he's not responsible for. It's not fair to him, it's not fair to me, and it's certainly not fair to Declan or Kelly."

"You're just like your father. You'll do whatever you want no matter what I say. I hope this doesn't blow up in your face. For the children's sake." Before I could respond, she was walking away. When I entered the tent, I was beyond irritated. That emotion, however, quickly turned to fear as I realized that the twins were both standing near the doorway and staring at me. I don't know how much they had heard, but it was enough.

"Our dad's here?" Declan asked, his light blue eyes studying me closely. He really does look like Murphy. Dark hair, blue eyes, intense face. The only thing he got from me were a plethora of freckles. Kelly also had a lot of freckles, but she had my red hair and hazel eyes-the kind that are brown in the center with blue on the outskirts of the iris.

"Are we going to meet him?" Kelly asked. They were standing shoulder to shoulder and holding hands. I'm so glad that they've bonded how Murphy and Connor are bonded.

I sighed, turning them around and taking them over to my bed. We all sat on it as they turned to me expectantly, Declan on one side and Kelly on the other. I put my arms around them, pulling them close to me. "I had wanted to tell you in a better way than that. I'm sorry you had to find out that way."

"It's okay, Mom, it's not your fault," Declan said quickly. They're only seven but they're so mature sometimes that it seems like they're several years older.

"Is he really like Grandma said he is?" Kelly inquired.

"No, your father is nothing like grandma says," I shook my head. "He's kind, and funny, and so understanding. I have no doubt that if he would have known about you two that he would've been with us, no questions asked. We were just at a point in our lives that being together didn't work well for either of us. We aren't separated because either of us did anything terrible. Your dad is a good guy."

"I figured," Declan nodded, "Grandma just hates everyone most of the time. Even Uncle Tyler and he's always nice to us."

"That's true," Kelly nodded in agreement. I should probably correct them for that, but instead I ended up laughing and kissing each of them on the head once.

"Do you have any questions about anything?"

"Do we get to meet him?" Kelly repeated her question from earlier.

"Only if you want to, I'm not going to force you two to do anything you don't want, even if it's not what your father or I want for you."

"I want to," they said in unison, strong conviction on their young faces. I smiled in relief. I had been a bit afraid they wouldn't want to. I try to love them extra hard in Murphy's absence...but sometimes that creates a rift that can't be repaired. I've always been careful not to say very much about him, but I've answered their questions about him. Mostly just what he looked like, how we met, where he lived. Simple curiosities that gave them an idea of what he was like. They're kids but they aren't dumb enough to think they just didn't have a father.

"Alright, then I'll set something up. We'll have a family dinner or something." Without grandma, I added silently.

They both grinned in delight, getting up from the bed and going to jump into theirs.

"Hey, since you're up, brush your teeth." They groaned, insisting that grandma had made them do so already. "Yeah, and I know she did it too early and that the two of you snuck some more marshmallows. Teeth."

"Yes, Mom," they said in unison, dragging their feet as they began to gather the things to brush their teeth. I smiled. And just like that, they were back to being kids. I gathered my own toothbrush and toothpaste to join them in their quest for healthy, clean gums and teeth.