Cold, but for the momentary thrill of battle: this is the Temple of Ice.
The night they spent in Flanoir was a sleepless one for Zelos, and even with the designer coat and scarf and gloves and trousers and boots he bought while they were stocking up, he is still left shivering. It is not the frigid air that bothers him, not even when it burns his lungs, but rather the chill of his past.
Zelos is uneasy as soon as they disembark from the Rheairds again, hating the sound and feeling of the snow crunching beneath his feet. Only the bright blue sky keeps him in the present. There is no threat of snowfall as there was on that day. There is only the snow that has already fallen, and the enemies soon to follow suit.
Fighting is a welcome distraction at first, but sets Zelos on edge before too long. Maybe it's just his lack of sleep catching up with him, but the sound of Raine's magic reminds him a little too much of the attack that hit his mother, the attack that should have hit him. An attack by a half-elf. It's only thanks to Sheena, landing a hit on the enemy ready to kill him—yelling about how stupid he is, as usual—that Zelos snaps out of it.
But he still feels sick when he sees the red patches in the snow.
Once they finally enter the cavern, winds howl like lamentations, and Zelos glances uneasily around. He's the last person to be frightened by noises, being an avid teller of ghost stories in his spare time, but this place feels different. He can't even be concerned that the tip of his nose is the same shade as his hair; he's too preoccupied with memories.
Zelos's heart isn't in this for more reasons than he can count, but at least the cold seeping through his gloves as he moves blocks of ice into position is enough to keep him somewhat grounded. Still, every sound seems distant to his ears, and before long, he slips right back into memories. After all, his hands were cold back then, too.
It happened when he was Genis's age, didn't it? All he wanted was to spend some time with his mother—the woman who gave birth to him, but who left his upbringing to the nurses. A stranger whose rare smile meant more than most to Zelos. He had wanted that, the day he dragged her out to play, but all she gave him was a grimace, blood in her teeth like smeared lipstick. And her last words, a condemnation that has echoed in his mind ever since.
For once, Zelos is glad that no one cares about him, because it means he can come back to himself without most of them noticing that he was ever gone. Only Regal and Sheena are looking his way as they reach the lakeside, and Regal looks away again so quickly it might have been coincidence. But Sheena does not, the faintest frown on her face. It's the same frown she gave him back in Flanoir.
Still, like Regal, Sheena doesn't say anything. In fact, she hasn't so much as threatened Zelos since they arrived on this continent. She just watches him out the corner of her eye. Sometimes he forgets she's from Mizuho, since she's so outspoken most of the time. It's easy to forget the simple things when he's used to reading between the lines. But Sheena does wear her heart on her sleeve in ways that would make any self-respecting ninja blush, so Zelos has to forgive himself for thinking of her as just another girl.
Especially since, for all her observational skills, she hasn't noticed that he's been working against them the whole time.
Laughter draws Zelos out of his gloomy thoughts, and he looks around to see that Lloyd and Colette are running around like they've never seen winter before, playing with the Sorcerer's Ring. (Zelos really envies that innocence, not that he'll ever admit it.) But as it turns out, even that can't freeze everything. Even after Lloyd directs its power at the water flowing in from outside, the lake remains persistently liquid.
Still, that shouldn't pose too much of a problem. Zelos has never been so glad that Lloyd is so gullible, because he had the accessory-shop man in Flanoir make him those special gloves almost as soon as they heard of them. All that remains is to pick some legendary flower.
The others head outside again immediately in search of it, but Zelos hesitates at the cave entrance, eyes fixed on the blinding white awaiting him. Imagining the crunch beneath his feet, he tries not to shudder, but at least he can pass it off as the cold when he fails. Even the thought of stepping out into that again is more than he can handle right now.
"Hey, stupid Chosen," says Sheena, her words stinging like frostbite, and Zelos looks up to find her waiting there. "You coming?"
"Yeah, of course," says Zelos, making an effort at a smile. "Just… give me a minute, all right? Gotta gather my thoughts."
Sheena sighs, her breath hanging visibly in the air. "Your thoughts wouldn't happen to be about the past, would they?"
Her tone is just pointed enough that Zelos knows she knows. There's no use in making excuses if she'll just call him out on them, and no sense in frustrating her on purpose when her temper is short enough already. Yet he still can't muster the inner strength for an affirmative, so all that comes out is, "Maybe."
Sheena crosses her arms. "Aren't you the one who always tells me it doesn't do any good to worry about what's over and done?" Zelos scowls to let her know that was out of line, and for once, she relents. "I mean, I know it's not exactly easy to forget, but nobody's asking you to forget. Just to stop brooding for five seconds and help us look for that damn flower."
Zelos gives half a laugh. "You don't need me."
He means that in every way, and expects Sheena to agree—she's never been shy about telling him to his face exactly how useless he is—but she just glares at him. "Doesn't matter. You shouldn't split off on your own, just in case."
Her tone is every bit as stubborn as Sheena herself, and Zelos has never appreciated that more, but even her insistence isn't enough for him to follow her into the snow. "Then stay with me, because I'm not going back out there till we're done."
But Sheena just gives him a look and walks out without a word.
More than her departure, her silence cuts into him like a knife. Zelos stares after her, then chuckles to fill the void, leaning against the icy wall. He hates himself and the winter and this entire godforsaken world. But he doesn't hate Lloyd, even though Sheena is head over heels for him and will follow him places Zelos can't. It's impossible to hate Lloyd, even though he's too dim to notice Sheena for as long as Colette is shining by his side.
Footsteps. Snapping back into his body, Zelos rests his hand on the hilt of his sword, preparing for a fight. Sheena steps back through the doorway with a card at the ready, just as prepared for battle, and they both freeze. Recognizing each other, they lock eyes and smile and for a moment, Zelos sees nothing but Sheena. "Back so soon?"
"Yeah, well, I had to tell the others we're staying behind, or they'd wait for us forever," says Sheena, moving forward to lean against the wall a couple feet away from Zelos.
Honestly, he's surprised that Sheena's hanging so close. She's near enough that he thinks he can feel her warmth, only she doesn't have much to spare. In fact, she's shivering. That's right; she doesn't do well in the cold. "Hey, c'mere."
Sheena turns her head and looks Zelos up and down warily. "Why?"
"You're cold, right?" asks Zelos, stepping away from the wall and spreading his arms in an open invitation. "I can fix that."
Sheena rolls her eyes, hugging her arms to herself instead. "If you really wanna play the gentleman, offer me your coat."
"What, now you want me to be cold?" asks Zelos, pouting on purpose. "It's not my fault you didn't buy new clothes in Flanoir." Not that many of them did—just Zelos and Regal, really—but it's a good excuse to needle Sheena.
Sheena cracks her knuckles, the sound carrying through the cave. "Maybe tying you in knots will get me warmed up."
Zelos can see Sheena shivering, and he could do with some reassurance, but their friendship has never been the kind in which physical demonstrations of affection come easily. For them, staging false arguments and putting up fights they don't mean is routine. Zelos just doesn't know for whose benefit they delay their own gratification anymore, since they can see through one another by now. Maybe it's just reflex at this point.
"Come on, don't be like that," he says, trying another tack. "Don't you know hugs reduce stress?"
Sheena opens her mouth, but her eyes catch on something in Zelos's expression, and she doesn't say anything. (He isn't half as good at concealing his needs as Colette.) Instead, she just reaches over and punching his shoulder. "You can just say you need a hug, Zelos."
"But every time I say that, you hit me," says Zelos, exaggerating his whine. This kind of light and half-friendly banter is the easiest way to keep himself from dwelling on dark things, and more importantly, to keep Sheena from worrying.
"Only because you make it weird every time!" Sheena stamps her foot, but Zelos can see through her exasperation. She's relieved he's keeping his spirits up, even if only in appearance. "You know what, forget it. I don't care if you need a hug or not." But as she speaks, Sheena turns her back, glancing over her shoulder.
Zelos, naturally, takes it as an invitation.
And Sheena doesn't move away. Not when he drapes his arms around her shoulders, not when he raises his chin to rest his head on hers. When she does move, it is only to take a breath and turn around in Zelos's loosened arms and hug him too.
With Sheena's gentle squeeze and pressure against him, Zelos feels something close to complete. He is no longer an abandoned child, but the Chosen One, here in the present and safe in a friend's embrace. He wishes in that moment that he were half as strong as Sheena—to stand with her when she needs him most, instead of siding with those likeliest to win. More than anything, he envies Lloyd's willingness to make a new path, his unshakable confidence in his companions.
Maybe, if he only had those, Zelos could catch Sheena's eye too.
After either an instant or an eternity, Sheena steps away. Her cheeks seem a little pinker, and she doesn't meet Zelos's eyes, but it's probably just the cold or the embarrassment. That's what he tells himself, anyway. She's too into Lloyd for it to be anything else. "Better?"
"Oh yeah." Zelos really does mean it, but that doesn't stop him from resting an elbow on her shoulder and leaning in conspiratorially. "But you know what'd help even more?" He grins at Sheena's mistrustful glance, an answer in itself. "A kiss."
"In your dreams!" exclaims Sheena, but there's something so jubilant about the familiar way she yells at him that Zelos laughs. Darting away from her punch in response, he leads her on a chase back through the cave. It's the first time since his childhood that he's understood the euphoria that cold weather can bring.
They stop to catch their breath on a natural bridge overlooking the lake, but it freezes over even as they observe it, ice spreading out from somewhere behind them. Turning, they find that the others have already returned, and then exchange a nervous look. Zelos can tell they're both thinking the same thing (albeit for different reasons): I hope they didn't see us.
Sheena snaps out of it first. "If it was that easy, I should have made you come with in the first place," she says, pressing her fist into Zelos's shoulder by way of punch. With that, she wins the round. "You ready to go?"
Even the question means more than Sheena will ever know. "As ready as I'll ever be," says Zelos, but the sight of her turning away is almost more than he can bear. She might die from shock if he thanks her with any kind of sincerity, but his genuine gratitude combines with his sudden worry in a way that demands he voice it. "Hey, Sheena?" asks Zelos, and his voice comes out more tentatively than he expects. Sheena must hear how serious he is, because she stops. "Thanks."
"For what?" asks Sheena, turning around with a frown.
That catches Zelos off-guard. Does she really not understand, even after all she just did for him? Or is that her indirect way of saying it was nothing? He recovers himself quickly. "If you don't know, then I'm not about to tell you."
"Yeah, yeah," is Sheena's vague and dismissive response, as she gestures somewhat aggressively for Zelos to follow her. "We'll get out of here as soon as we can." As Zelos catches up, Sheena smiles at him a little awkwardly, and he can't help but return the gesture. Here is a hint of summertime in the winter he dreads so much. "I promise."