Kirishima's perst rit hr NT. WILSHIRE - AFTERNOON
Articulate scout KIRISHIMA YAMAKAZE is arguing with funny computer programmer YUNO MINATO. KIRISHIMA tries to hug YUNO but she shakes him off.
KIRISHIMA
Please Yuno, don't leave me.
YUNO
I'm sorry Kirishima, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
KIRISHIMA
I am such a person!
YUNO frowns.
YUNO
I'm sorry, Kirishima. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
YUNO leaves.
KIRISHIMA sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, smart gardener SHIRO TENSHI barges in looking flustered.
KIRISHIMA
Goodness, Shiro! Is everything okay?
SHIRO
I'm afraid not.
KIRISHIMA
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
SHIRO
It's ... a hooligan ... I saw an evil hooligan trick a bunch of children!
KIRISHIMA
Defenseless children?
SHIRO
Yes, defenseless children!
KIRISHIMA
Bloomin' heck, Shiro! We've got to do something.
SHIRO
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
KIRISHIMA
You can start by telling me where this happened.
SHIRO
I was...
SHIRO fans himself and begins to wheeze.
KIRISHIMA
Focus Shiro, focus! Where did it happen?
SHIRO
Kashmire! That's right - Kashmire!
KIRISHIMA springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
KIRISHIMA rushes along the street, followed by SHIRO. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
INT. KASHMIRE - SHORTLY AFTER
ALAN SHERIFF a cowardly hooligan terrorises two children.
KIRISHIMA, closely followed by SHIRO, rushes towards ALAN, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
SHIRO
What is is? What's the matter?
KIRISHIMA
That's not just any old hooligan, that's Alan Sheriff!
SHIRO
Who's Alan Sheriff?
KIRISHIMA
Who's Alan Sheriff? Who's Alan Sheriff? Only the most cowardly hooligan in the universe!
SHIRO
Blinkin' knickers, Kirishima! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most cowardly hooligan in the universe!
KIRISHIMA
You can say that again.
SHIRO
Blinkin' knickers, Kirishima! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most cowardly hooligan in the universe!
KIRISHIMA
I'm going to need knives, lots of knives.
Alan turns and sees Kirishima and Shiro. He grins an evil grin.
ALAN
Kirishima Yamakaze, we meet again.
SHIRO
You've met?
KIRISHIMA
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young KIRISHIMA is sitting in a park listening to some jazz music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees ALAN. He takes off his headphones.
ALAN
Would you like some chocolate?
KIRISHIMA's eyes light up, but then he studies ALAN more closely, and looks uneasy.
KIRISHIMA
I don't know, you look kind of cowardly.
ALAN
Me? No. I'm not cowardly. I'm the least cowardly hooligan in the world.
KIRISHIMA
Wait, you're a hooligan?
KIRISHIMA runs away, screaming.
INT. KASHMIRE - PRESENT DAY
ALAN
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
SHIRO
(To KIRISHIMA) You ran away?
KIRISHIMA
(To SHIRO) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
KIRISHIMA turns to ALAN.
KIRISHIMA
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
KIRISHIMA runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
KIRISHIMA
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with knives.
ALAN
I'm not scared of you.
KIRISHIMA
You should be.
INT. FORNEY - LATER THAT DAY
KIRISHIMA and SHIRO walk around searching for something.
KIRISHIMA
I feel sure I left my knives somewhere around here.
SHIRO
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly knives.
KIRISHIMA
You know nothing Shiro Tenshi.
SHIRO
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, ALAN appears, holding a pair of knives.
ALAN
Looking for something?
SHIRO
Crikey, Kirishima, he's got your knives.
KIRISHIMA
Tell me something I don't already know!
SHIRO
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
KIRISHIMA
I know that already!
SHIRO
I'm afraid of sausages.
ALAN
(appalled) Dude!
While ALAN is looking at SHIRO with disgust, KIRISHIMA lunges forward and grabs his deadly knives. He wields them, triumphantly.
KIRISHIMA
Prepare to die, you cowardly sprout!
ALAN
No please! All I did was trick a bunch of children!
YUNO enters, unseen by any of the others.
KIRISHIMA
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those children were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Kirishima Yamakaze defender of innocent children.
ALAN
Don't hurt me! Please!
KIRISHIMA
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these knives on you right away!
ALAN
Because Kirishima, I am your father.
KIRISHIMA looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
KIRISHIMA
No you're not!
ALAN
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
ALAN tries to grab the knives but KIRISHIMA dodges out of the way.
KIRISHIMA
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, ALAN slumps to the ground.
SHIRO
Did he just faint?
KIRISHIMA
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly knives.
KIRISHIMA crouches over ALAN's body.
SHIRO
Be careful, Kirishima. It could be a trick.
KIRISHIMA
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Alan Sheriff is dead!
KIRISHIMA
What?
KIRISHIMA
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
SHIRO claps his hands.
SHIRO
So your knives did save the day, after all.
YUNO steps forward.
YUNO
Is it true? Did you kill the cowardly hooligan?
KIRISHIMA
Yuno how long have you been...?
YUNO puts her arm around KIRISHIMA.
YUNO
Long enough.
KIRISHIMA
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Alan Sheriff.
YUNO
Then the children are safe?
KIRISHIMA
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable children enter, looking relived.
YUNO
You are their hero.
The children bow to KIRISHIMA.
KIRISHIMA
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Alan Sheriff will never trick children ever again, is enough for me.
YUNO
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the children passes KIRISHIMA a shiny ring
YUNO
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
KIRISHIMA
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.
KIRISHIMA
Well, if you insist.
KIRISHIMA takes the ring.
KIRISHIMA
Thank you.
The children bow their heads once more, and leave.
KIRISHIMA turns to YUNO.
KIRISHIMA
Does this mean you want me back?
YUNO
Oh, Kirishima, of course I want you back!
KIRISHIMA smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
KIRISHIMA
Well you can't have me.
YUNO
WHAT?
KIRISHIMA
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a hooligan to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
YUNO
But...
KIRISHIMA
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Shiro.
SHIRO grins.
YUNO
But...
SHIRO
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
YUNO
Kirishima?
KIRISHIMA
I'm sorry Yuno, but I think you should skidaddle.
YUNO leaves.
SHIRO turns to KIRISHIMA.
SHIRO
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
KIRISHIMA
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly SHIRO stops.
SHIRO
When I said I'm afraid of sausages, you know I was just trying to distract the hooligan don't you?
THE END