Fifteen
Dean's head pounded when he sat up in bed.
He rubbed at his temples, trying to get rid of the pain. Dehydration was definitely one of the worst parts of being fixed by Castiel. He was alive though. He supposed that mattered.
Then he remembered Sam and Castiel's faces when he'd awoken after his lake dive and his heart sank to his stomach. He had heard Castiel come into the room again several times after Dean had finally fallen back asleep, but the angel hadn't so much as done more than touched Dean forehead a few times to ease aches and pains and then left.
Dean hadn't even gotten to formally apologize. He'd tried, but it had still felt half-assed.
He stood up, careful to keep his balance as he strode over to the chair and grabbed his now dry pants. He pulled one of Sam's smallest flannels out of the dresser drawer and got dressed. The clock on the side table read eight am.
Dean patted his pockets, looking for his phone, and realized either Castiel or Sam had placed it on the other side table. He unlocked the screen and dialed.
"Yeah?" Sam answered, sounding tired, but not annoyed anymore.
"You inside?" Dean asked.
"Outside." Sam replied.
"I'll be there in a minute." Dean nodded, even though his brother couldn't see it and hung up the phone, pulling his boot up over his slightly swollen foot and making way for the bedroom door.
-8-8-8-8-8-8-
The sun was starting to rise when Dean emerged from the bunker's front door, bottle of water in hand. He squinted, trying to shield his eyes from the beaming light, and looked around.
The sky was clear of clouds and a pale pinkish color. The air smelled fresh. It was strange.
It was as though the end of the world wasn't coming.
They hadn't spoken of it, everything that had happened after Jack had died, their mom too. Everybody else had taken off, lying low and hunting on their own. All, but Eileen, who had somehow managed to find Sam and to wrap her influence around him.
Or so Dean had argued during the last fight they'd had.
Dean saw Sam, leaning up against the back of the Impala, coffee in hand, and staring off into the distance at woods as the sun beamed through the trees.
"I'm an asshole." Dean remarked, after taking his place beside his brother.
"Understatement of the century." Sam chuckled and took a sip of his coffee.
It was quiet for a few moments.
"I was wrong, Sam." Dean lifted his head from where he'd hung it ever so slightly and Sam shockingly looked over at him, waiting for an explanation.
"When you told me, you'd been thinking about exclusively seeing Eileen," Dean kept going. "There was a full range of emotions inside of me. All I saw in that moment was my little twenty-two year old brother, in the worst pain of his life because somebody he loved with his full being was dead, and there wasn't a damn thing I could about it to take that pain away."
Sam cleared his throat. Rarely did he speak of Jessica anymore, but knew he thought about her every day. They carried everyone they'd loved who died with them every single day.
"Jess didn't know about the life Dean," Sam replied. "Eileen knows what's out there. Hell, she's had a lot worse side effects from it than we have."
"My point is," Dean's breath hitched. "I never wanted you go through that kind of pain ever again. Dad didn't either. Why do you think he checked up you? It'll destroy a man."
"I know," Sam sighed. "I thought it would all end when I went away. I thought I'd fall in love and ride off into the sunset, and I did…twice. For a little while each time."
"Yeah," Dean said, rubbing the back of his neck. "That was a pretty big thing, for you to admit. What was his name?"
"Paul Wakefield," Sam chuckled at the mention of him and a giddy smile stretched across his face. "Some backwoods boy from-."
"Wait," Dean held up his hand. "You mean, the Paul Wakefield. As in, Fantastic Dan? Those crazy adventure books I couldn't get you put down as a kid."
"Yeah," Sam nodded. "He was trying to make it to Hollywood when we were there. I guess he finally had his big break."
"You sure can pick 'em kid," Dean whistled and shook his head in disbelief. "What uh…what broke you up?"
"Me," Sam sighed. "Turns out I'm not so great at hiding the hunting side of my life. He started asking questions I couldn't answer, so he called it quits. Claimed he couldn't trust me. I don't blame him. Hardest breakup of my life."
"The first love hurts the worst." Dean nodded, taking the last sip of his water, and crushing the bottle before placing it on the hood of the car.
"I met Jess a few months later, but I never forgot him."
Dean patted Sam's shoulder.
"He's also the reason I hated being called Sammy there for a while." Sam smirked.
"Yeah well," Dean shrugged. "I hate Phil Collins for a similar reason. The first one hurts the worst indeed."
Dean and Sam stayed silent again for a few moments. The sun had risen higher and was just at the top of the tree line.
"How'd you do it?" Dean asked. "Learn to accept that part of yourself."
"I questioned it a lot," Sam explained. "Growing up. Same as you, I can imagine. Just never acted on it. Never could with dad around. College was also just kind of my ticket to figure myself out. It was a much more welcoming environment than dad's motel rooms if you catch my drift."
Dean nodded, picking absentmindedly at a string near the end of the sleeve of the flannel.
"Nothing worth doing is easy," Sam looked over at Dean. "I know you're scared, Dean. I know dad messed us up in a lot of ways, but I'm your brother. You can tell me anything and I'll love you no matter what."
Dean felt his eyes pricking with tears in the corners. He was hoping Sam wouldn't see.
"You taught me that, remember?" Sam finished.
Dean threw his whole body against Sam, engulfing his younger brother in a big hug and Sam returned it, gently bringing his arms down to reach around Dean's body and hold it tight. Dean and Sam both closed their eyes, savoring in the moment of peace, and then broke apart to face one another again.
"Dean," Sam said. "Cas is in love with you. Has been for years. I've seen it since we basically met. You do this sort of unspoken dance around each other."
Dean thought of that night in the barn. When Castiel had barreled in and set the room afire with sparks and light. His sheer power alone had left Dean in awe, but it was truly the angel's eventual unwavering dedication to the Winchesters that had brought it home. Dean had just been too stunted to do anything about it.
"I used to move like that around Jess," Sam continued. "And Paul, and now, Eileen. I love her Dean. I told her the other day."
"I know you love her," Dean wiped his one eye. He wasn't ashamed of the tears anymore. "You deserve to be with her."
"And you deserve to be with Cas." Sam nodded.
"What about Chuck," Dean shook his head. "What about the hunts and the chance we might all just…"
"Might as well go out happy for once," Sam replied. "That's my theory anyway."
Dean and Sam both stood from the Impala's front end, grabbing their respective beverage containers, and making their way over towards the front door.
"Sorry you're not gonna be a dad," Dean mentioned. "I heard about; you know."
"It's okay," Sam said. "There'll be time for that later. Once Chuck is finally off his high horse."
"We'll figure that out," Dean replied. "Same way we always do. Together. Team Free Will."
"Believe me," Sam smirked. "I haven't forgotten. Now, I do believe I saw Castiel walk off somewhere in that direction."
Sam pointed towards the same stretch of woods Dean had been rescued and Dean nodded before shoving his crushed water bottle into Sam's hand and taking off running.
-8-8-8-8-8-8-
When Sam reached the library, he smiled. Eileen was sitting in one of the various armchairs, delving into a book of ancient magic that she couldn't even begin to interpret. Sam was enthralled at her desire, her thirst, for knowledge. It would come in handy in whatever fight was yet to come.
Also, it just made her even sexier to him.
He came up beside her, sitting down and placing his coffee cup on a table nearby. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to his side, and she smiled up at him.
"Did you talk to him?" she asked.
Sam nodded.
"And?"
"I think he just needed my blessing," Sam replied. "And we have his."
Eileen realized what Sam meant and broke into an even bigger grin, thrusting herself closer to Sam's embrace as he pulled her in for a deep, loving kiss.
-8-8-8-8-8-8-
Castiel stood by the lake in which he'd pulled Dean to the surface.
The water was a deep inky color, infused with silt, dirt, and whatever else lay beneath the surface. The rocks along the edge were all conglomerates. Castiel picked one up, inspecting its various jagged edges and held it up in front of the sun. It sparkled as the light hit whatever minerals made it up.
He threw it into the water, and it landed with a deep plunk.
Castiel turned his head at the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps on crunchy leaves. He saw Dean coming to a skidding stop, staring straight at him, and holding his arms out for balance as he paused for a moment.
"Hello Dean." Castiel said, cocking his head ever so slightly.
Dean crashed into him but didn't knock him over. Castiel's eyes flew wide as the hunter pulled his body closer, their legs and lower halves touching now. He felt arms throw themselves around him, then clutch his cheek.
Dean kissed him. Hard, passionately. The hunter's mouth meshed with the angel's as though it was meant to be there all along. Their hot, morning breath cascaded out from behind their lips, and Dean took a few breaths, eyes closed, forehead against Castiel's after releasing Castiel from the kiss.
"I need to apologize," Dean said. "Before you even say a word, I need to say that I'm genuinely, entirely sorry for all the pain I have caused you. Not just recently, but over the course of the time we've known one another. I was scared of who I was, Cas, but that no excuse to be how I was towards you. All my life, I've been running from this other part of me. A part that I tried so damn hard to repress and squash down and act as though it didn't exist."
Castiel leaned back ever so slightly to look into Dean's eyes and to process his words.
"It does exist though," Dean continued. "I'm ready for it to exist before I might never get another chance again. I don't know what's going to happen when we finally meet up again with your dad, but I know damn well I'm gonna fight like hell for this family. For this world, and I want you by my side as I do it."
"I am by your side Dean," Castiel nodded. "It has been an honor for this short blink in my eternally long existence."
"You said my soul was an ocean," Dean explained. "I want you to be the biggest drop of all in it. All my life, there have been so many that filled that place, but they weren't like you, Cas. None of them will ever be you."
Dean stared into beautiful blue.
"You understand what I'm saying?"
"I do," Castiel nodded and finally smiled. "I always have. You never had to say it, even though I appreciate you saying it now."
Dean smirked and captured Castiel's lips again, this time just as the sun had fully risen into the sky and was enveloping them in her powerful, but gentle light.
A new day had come. A new era.
Dean was more than ready for it.
Read and Review!
Well, that's it. That's how A Drop Into The Ocean ends! I hope everybody is satisfied with what I have left you with in terms of the ending. I figured the boys deserved just a smidge of happiness before everything ends.
I do plan on publishing a few more fics here soon. Including my own ending to Supernatural before the actual ending comes out. That will probably be up sometime next week, but perhaps before then. We shall see.
Also, for those following this on , I plan to post most of the remainder of my new stories under the same username on A03 from here on out. I just feel as though I get more foot traffic over there. If the story is popular enough, I'll put it up on too.
I'm so glad I was able to turn yet another ONESHOT into a story for y'all and I am eternally grateful for every like, kudos, comment, and PM I have received regarding it. I look forward to hearing from many of you in the future and as always, see you in the next story! ;)