The walk back to the house gave the siblings time to think, cooling their high emotions so that when they closed the back door behind them each was unsure what should happen next. With a nervous laugh, Violet quickly put the kitchen island between them, and Klaus leaned on it uncertainly, watching his sister carefully. The light over the sink had been left on for their return and the house was completely quiet, yet seemed filled with an expectant hum.
"Well," Klaus began as Violet unbuttoned her sweater and shrugged it off, just holding it in her hands. "Are you cold? Want some coffee?"
She smiled. "Yeah, that sounds good, actually." She moved back to the door to hang her sweater up on a hook there. "I'm going to put some comfy clothes on. I'll be back in just a minute."
Klaus monitored her progress up the stairs and called after her. "Cream and sugar?"
"Yes, please," came her pleasant voice back to him from her room.
A little later, armed with mugs of hot coffee and a package of cookies he'd scrounged from Violet's cupboards, he found his sister cross-legged on the couch. She wore a flannel nightgown, which Klaus would have been sweltering in if he had to wear it, and she looked so small, like a child on Christmas Eve, her fuzzy head popping out of all that plaid.
Across her lap lay a photo album. He'd seen it a hundred times, but smiled at the sight of it. The leather book held mostly pictures of Sunny, school photos in sequence and candids from an old camera that Violet had been delighted to fix up and use regularly. Klaus held a steaming mug out to her and she accepted it with two hands, bringing it straight to her lips for a small sip. He tucked himself in beside her, setting his mug on the glass end table and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
Leaning easily into him, all awkwardness and apprehension had disappeared, leaving behind only each other's familiar presence. He pulled the album so that half of it lay on his thigh and began to turn the pages. "Time flies," he stated, pointing at a six year old Sunny who sat asleep in a much younger Klaus's lap. "God, I miss this," he said, tracing the edge of the photograph with his finger.
"You were so good with her… still are. How come you and Isadora never had any children?" Violet asked. "You would be an amazing father."
"We thought about it, but, it just wasn't the right time," he answered, trying not to sound as wistful as he felt.
"Because of me?" she asked, turning her face to him, resting her chin on his shoulder.
"Nah," he lied. "It just isn't meant to be."
"Babies or Isadora?" Klaus only shrugged and flipped the pages until he found his favorite picture. He'd taken it himself right out on this beach and Violet had developed it as a black and white photo. It was a simple close up of Violet and Sunny. They had fallen asleep out by the sea, under a large umbrella. They had shared a towel out on the sand and were nose to nose, dead asleep. Violet's dark hair spread out behind her in a wave and opposite was Sunny's blonde, looking perfectly contrasted in black and white.
Violet smiled at that one. "That was a good day," she remembered. It was back when the three of them had still lived altogether. They had been happy, carefree almost, and it had finally felt like maybe their unfortunate events were behind them.
Violet turned the pages until she found one of Klaus and Isadora on their wedding day. Klaus wore a black tuxedo and Isadora wore the traditional white wedding gown, complete with veil. "I was so torn that day, Klaus," Violet admitted. This was news to Klaus and he remained quiet, waiting for her explanation. "I wanted to be happy for you. I was. I swear. You looked so handsome and Isadora was so beautiful. You were the perfect couple and I'd always wanted her as a sister, but that day it hit me. The reality of it. You were getting married." She huffed out a small laugh, shaking her head at herself. "For so long, you had been mine, and even though I knew it wasn't the truth, I'd sort of fooled myself into thinking that we were Sunny's parents and that as much as we'd been through, we would always be together, the three of us. We would just grow old together in this house. That was stupid and naive of me."
"Well, it does paint a pretty picture," Klaus agreed quietly. "A much simpler one than reality."
"Klaus?" she asked, concern in her voice as she searched his face. "Have you been very unhappy?" There was no good answer to this question, so instead he stroked a finger across her jaw bone to her chin, lifting it gently so that he could bring her lips to his. He was sure that this would bring him only unhappiness in heaps, but the warning sirens in his brain didn't stop him from taking the mug out of her hands to set it next to his on the table, so that he could pull her into his lap, leaving the photo album to drop to the floor.
With her back against the arm rest and her legs across his lap, he could drag his hand along her calf, blazing an intimate trail behind her knee, palming her thigh and her hip up under her flannel pajamas. She shivered under his gentle touch. "I have a question," he said, brushing his other hand lightly over her scalp and down the back of her neck.
"Ask away," she said, breathless already at his hands on her skin.
"How long?"
"How long?" she asked, not understanding the question.
"How long have you loved me? I mean...how long have you wanted this?" Her small admission of jealousy on his wedding day and her bizarre request earlier that day had all just clicked in his brain. He could recall their simple life together when it had just been the three Baudelaires, and how it easily could've all gone a different way if he'd only known.
"Too long," she exhaled over his lips. "Forever, maybe. I can't remember a time when I didn't want you."
Hearing her say all this out loud, her desire for him, turned him on even more than the feel of her bare skin in his hands. And now, it seemed that maybe he'd always wanted her, too, because it suddenly felt like he'd been waiting an eternity for this, a lifetime of pent up desire ready for release. "Oh God," he groaned, kissing her forcefully, pressing his tongue deep into her mouth and his hand farther into her pajamas, up to where her breast should've been if cancer had not forced the doctor to remove it. He felt the smooth scar and the puckered skin around it. When he reached her whole breast, he took his time to enjoy the feel of it, the soft underside, the sweet swell of smooth skin, and the warm, sensitive nipple that hardened at his touch. "Come face me," he urged, pulling at her side. She breathed heavily through her nose, unwilling to part lips, and climbed onto the middle of his lap, straddling his waist. Bunching her flannel nightgown up, Klaus prepared to pull it over her head, but she quickly placed a halt on their progress.
"You don't have to Klaus. You can leave it on," she said, sitting back and placing a hand over the middle of her chest, anxiety clear in her voice.
"And why would I want to do that?" he asked, ignoring her, knowing why she was worried and thinking she was being ridiculous. He tried distracting her with a trail of kisses down her neck and instead tried to unbutton the pajamas.
"Klaus," she said his name again, as if he wasn't paying attention. Oh, he was. "The scar is hideous. You don't have to… You know what? On second thought, we don't have to do this." She tried to climb off his lap, but of course he didn't let her go.
"I've seen your scar already and it is not hideous," he said, gently pulling her hands away, holding them so she wouldn't leave. It was a lie. The scar was hideous. It amazed Klaus how modern medicine could wreak so much havoc on such a lovely body. "You are beautiful and it wouldn't matter to me if you had two breasts or three or one. It doesn't change who you are or how I feel about you. Okay?"
In answer, she reached out to hook a finger in his collar, unbuttoning the top button, then another, unveiling his body three inches at a time. He struggled to sit still, to let her have control if she needed it. The feel of her fingertip down the center of his body sent electricity racing in his blood vessels and after the shirt hung open, loose on his shoulders, she unsnapped his jeans button and pulled down the zipper.
Through hooded eyes, he watched her looking at his body, watched her wrap her hand around his erection over his boxers, sit up on her knees and begin to stroke him. It shouldn't have surprised him, but it did. He grabbed her hips and had to close his eyes, laying his head back on the couch, enjoying the attention.
"And how did you get so good at this?" he asked with a distracted laugh.
"I said I was a virgin," she said, giving him a kiss, "not that I was born yesterday."
With another huff of laughter he pulled the nightgown over her head before she could protest further. He didn't even look at her, but pulled her close by her hips, forcing her to hold his shoulders to avoid being thrown off balance, giving him the opportunity to roll his pelvis against hers. She got the idea pretty quickly and for a few minutes moved in tandem with Klaus. Suddenly, he stood, holding her until she got her feet on the floor. "My room?" he asked against her lips. She nodded.
Their progress was slow as they headed for the stairs, barely parting, and when she climbed the step ahead of him, he pulled her around, holding her bare back and placing his mouth over her breast. All she did was thread her fingers through his hair, not seeming embarrassed anymore by her body. Encouraged, he slid his palms down her spine, pushing at her panties until they fell to the floor, then filled his hands with the curve of her bottom. She mimicked his movements and pushed his pants off his hips and he had to wriggle free of them, kicking them off his feet and down the hall.
Finally, they made it up the stairs and into his bedroom. She'd freed him from his shirt and his boxers somewhere along the way and the feel of her body against his naked skin was as exciting as it was shameful. He couldn't help but think of his wife and what she might think of this, but quickly put that out of his mind. Isadora had left him and Violet needed him. It was as good an excuse as any in his lustful state of mind.
There was no shortage of pillows on the guest bed and Klaus leaned Violet back into them so that they supported her upper body. Kneeling between her legs, he could finally see her whole body. She looked much younger with her hair so short, and much skinnier than he liked to remember her, with her ribs clearly visible through her skin, but she was still lovely. Her smooth stomach and her shapely thighs drew his attention and his hands. Kissing him had made her lips full and red, and her blue eyes peeked at him from half closed lids. Dark hair grew thickly over her pubic bone and he guided his erection through it and lower, feeling the warmth of that pink, satiny skin.
Apparently, she couldn't take that much scrutiny, crossing one of her arms over her scar and looking away. He didn't want her to feel that way. "Hey," he said gently, leaning into her to kiss her shoulder and pull at her hand. "No matter what you're thinking, you really are beautiful. I want to see you. I promise not to hurt you, okay? You can trust me."
She smiled. "I know that. I'm just a little nervous."
"Honestly," he replied. "So am I."
"But…why? You must've done this hundreds of times."
"Yes, but never with the person that I love most in the world," he admitted and her eyes filled with tears at his words, but thankfully did not overflow.
With his hands supporting the small of her back, he pressed just into her. She was plenty wet now and he could have slid right inside her if he wanted, but Klaus was determined to take it slow. He pulled out and pushed back in several times before going deeper, all the while watching Violet for any signs of pain. It felt nothing short of amazing for Klaus and by the time he was buried all the way within her slick, tight walls, he was breathing heavy with the effort not to plunge hot and fast until he found his pleasure, until he forgot about everything but his own body and its needs for a change.
But this was not about him. This was about Violet, no longer a virgin, and not his sister right now, but a woman whom he loved very much. Her eyes were shut tight, but the sounds she made were low and sweet, sounds of pleasure that were drawn from her almost against her will. He pumped shallowly, making sure his pubic bone bumped against her sweet spot. Finally, he said, wanting to see her blue eyes, "Violet?" When she looked at him he asked, "Is it okay?"
She replied with a vigorous nod, reaching out for him, saying his name like a breath. "Klaus, kiss me." He leaned over her, still holding her to him with one arm, still moving inside her, and kissed her tenderly. He could feel the vibrations of her soft moans with his mouth, could sense the tremors of her tense muscles, the imminent climax of her inexperienced body, so began to thrust a little faster, a little deeper. He'd never been very good at holding his opinions in, not even during sex.
"Violet, God," he said against her lips. "You feel so good. Are you close?" He kissed her cheek and sucked on her earlobe. "Don't hold back, okay?" he whispered in her ear.
She tugged him incredibly close, closing any distance he'd been keeping between them in an effort not to squish her. With his lips still pressed to her cheek, she came with a tightening of her thighs around his waist and a soft clenching of her vagina. Her little moans became increasingly louder, ending with an, "Oh God, Klaus!"
He answered her with a bruising kiss, and was unable to hold back his own urges any longer. He let her bottom drop to the mattress, readjusted his position over her, running his palm up her side to land on her breast, squeezing it while he thrust long, satisfying strokes, his erection overly sensitive to the little waves of orgasmic aftershock that ran through Violet's body.
More than well on his way to completion, and Violet still enjoying herself, if her hands on his bottom, urging him on were anything to go by, he had a horrible thought, causing him to stop abruptly, cursing. "Shit," he said, not quite under his breath.
Violet put her hands on his face, one on each cheek. "What is it?" She sounded a bit winded, but focussed, lifting her head off the pillow to look at him as he sat back on his heels.
"I didn't…I don't…" he started, apologetic. "I don't have a condom."
Violet scoffed, then snorted a laugh. She pulled at his arm. "Klaus," she said softly, when he didn't come back to her right away. "Come here, please." He lowered himself down at her request. "Unplanned pregnancy is the least of my worries right now." She said it gently, but the implications still hurt. "Please, don't stop now. I want this, okay? Please." He wouldn't say no to her, didn't want to say no to her. He wanted to finish what he'd started. "I want you just like this." And he couldn't say no to that, not when her words caused him to inhale a deep, shuddered breath and for goosebumps to raise down his spine.
Feeling a bit ashamed of himself, he slid back inside of her with a low groan, grateful for the feeble excuse Violet had given him. "God, yes," she said, encouraging him, winding her arms around his shoulders. His pleasure built back up quickly, spurred on by Violet's low breathy sounds that issued over his cheek and sometimes into his ear. He loved the way she felt under him, loved the way that she had surrendered her body to him, trusting him.
When he came, spilling his seed deep inside her, he called out her name, then whispered over and over as his body calmed, "I love you, I love you." He kissed her cheek sweetly and found that it was wet with tears. "God," he said anxiously. "Have I hurt you?" He immediately became aware of how much weight he was putting on her, but when he tried to roll away, she held him tighter.
"No," she answered, voice thick with tears. "You didn't hurt me at all. It was so nice."
"Yeah?" he asked, trying to focus on her face when she lay so close. "Then what's wrong?" He rubbed a thumb across her cheek, trying to wipe away some of the tears.
"I want to make love a hundred more times. I want to live," she said so pitifully that it broke his heart and made his throat ache.
"I know. I know," he said helplessly. "I would give you all of the rest of my days if I could. I would trade spots with you without a second thought, I promise."
She laughed, but it sounded wet and could've been a sob. "I wouldn't want that, Klaus. There's no point if you're not here with me."
He couldn't stop his mouth from trembling and had to grind his teeth together hard to keep the tears from leaking down his nose, because it was so unfair that he would be left without her. Pressing his lips to hers to stop them quivering, he kissed her again and again, until her tears stopped. She was exhausted. It had been a busy day for her. She might be feeling better without chemotherapy but that didn't mean that her cancer wasn't taking its toll on her every minute of every day.
Before she could fall asleep, he asked, "Do you want to sleep here?" She nodded. "Do you want me to bring you anything? A glass of water? Your pajamas?"
"Can you bring me the thermal blanket off my bed? If you don't mind?" She was always cold, even with the warmth of a late summer evening. She had no fat left on her body to keep her warm.
"I'll be right back." Klaus slipped back into his boxers before heading across the hall to Violet's room. It was tidy and bright. Pictures of Sunny, of Klaus and Isadora, and the Quagmires covered her dresser. On her nightstand was a decade old picture of Klaus and Violet sitting together at the very restaurant they had eaten at that night. Klaus remembered that Sunny had taken the photo and he smiled at the way Violet had made bunny ears behind his head.
With a heavy sigh, Klaus pulled the requested blanket off the foot of the bed. He headed back to his room, but found that Violet had already fallen asleep. She barely woke as he slowly pulled the sheets from under her then draped them over her, covering her lastly with the heavy blanket from her bed.
Turning out the light, he slipped silently into the bathroom, shut and locked the door behind him. Sliding down the wall to the floor, Klaus buried his head between his knees and cried. His heart hurt so much he could feel it physically breaking. He'd held in the tears as best he could all day, but now the dam was broken, and grief spilled out like a waterfall. Soon enough, he would have to muster the strength to go to Violet. He would sleep next to her frail form, take care of her in the coming weeks, but right now, this was about all he could manage.