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"Connie!" Yelled Steven, sitting straight up. He looked around in a panic, and stared at his surroundings.
He was sitting up in a cave. A fire was dying before him, and he looked down to find himself wearing his black shirt with the pajama pants he had asked Connie to bring. He saw his jeans hanging up not far away on a rope, having dried after apparently being wet. Connie's backpack rested against a stalagmite not too far away.
But Connie wasn't there. She had been though, and recently. His shirt was damp on his chest, and the blanket smelled like her.
He got to his feet and quickly put on his jeans. He found his boots inside the backpack, and shoved his feet into them as fast as he could. Throwing on his brown jacket he'd found in the pack, he zipped it tightly and ran to the cave entrance. Ametrine was still out there…had Connie gone hunting for them?
"Connie!" He shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth. The sun was low in the sky, and the wind whipped his voice away. He summoned a shield to keep the snow from blowing in his face. Looking down he saw her footprints, small and evenly spaced, leading away from the cave. The snow had begun to fill them in, and he ran to make sure the trail didn't get cold.
The forest looked awful, and he realized how devastating his fight with Ametrine had been. Trees were either torn up by the roots or snapped in half, and many of them were blackened and charred from the flames. Steven shook himself, trying to focus on Connie and her whereabouts.
The footprints were strange, as they zig-zagged in an unusual way. It was as if Connie was stumbling, or had a spasmodic limp. He suddenly wondered if her injury was more serious than he had thought. Based on the cave's state, he knew she had been taking care of them. But now he wondered if she'd been barely surviving. A pang of deep guilt stabbed his chest, but he pushed it down. Right now finding Connie was all that mattered.
He stopped, eyes scanning the area for any sign of her. Closing his eyes, he listened for any sound of her.
In the distance, Steven could hear the sound of feet pounding the earth as a large animal loped towards him. His eyes flew open and he stared as Lion ran towards him, gently carrying in his mouth the limp form of -
"Connie," Steven breathed, and ran to them. Lion stopped at the young man and gently laid Connie into his open arms. Steven pulled her close and turned her over, noting that her eyes were closed. "Connie Connie Connie," he said, panic setting in, as he felt her for broken bones. Nothing was broken, but suddenly she began coughing. Her cough was high-pitched as if she couldn't breathe, and he could hear the mucous in her lungs. He quickly took her into his arms and positioned her so she could breathe easier.
"S…Steven," she moaned, eyes opening. "Steven, you're awake."
Her voice was hoarse, and he smiled at her. "I'm here, Connie," he said gently, eyes filling with tears. "I'm going to take you home, to the gems."
"Who's Connie?" She asked, eyes glassy and vacant. Her breathing was still a little ragged, and there was a soft wheeze with each breath she inhaled. "And where is home? Don't you mean the cave?"
Steven sucked the air into his lungs sharply as he realized. He looked up at Lion, hesitating to kiss her memories back. He remembered what Dr Maheswaran had told him about the human body. While it could heal, there was trauma to work through from injuries.
"Actually I think we are going to the hospital," he said, laying a hand on her forehead and sliding it down to her cheek. She most definitely had a fever.
"What's that?"
"It's a…big place," he stammered, lifting her up bridal style. "There are doctors and nurses there, and they will help you feel better." She nestled her head into the crook of his neck, and he held her tighter, pressing his warm cheek against her feverish one. "Why did you leave the cave?"
"I was hungry," she mumbled into his shoulder, then shivered. "I had no food."
Tears sprung into his eyes. "Thank you for taking care of me," he said, voice husky with emotion as he mounted Lion. "I'm sorry I couldn't take care of you."
She didn't say anything, but reached up and wiped a tear from his eye. "I'll do my best, to give this jam the sweetness it deserves," she sang softly, voice deep and gravelly. She coughed into her elbow, then laid her head against him weakly.
He looked down at her, eyes wide with surprise that she remembered the song but not her name. "And I'll keep it fresh, I'm jamming on these tasty preserves!" He sang back, and she laid her hand against his cheek, rubbing her thumb along his jawline fondly.
"Ingredients in harmony, we mix together perfectly, come on and share this jam with me!" They sang in unison, and Steven beamed at her. Her eyelids were closed, but she was smiling, and he stroked her hair with his free hand. It took everything he had not to kiss her. He needed a doctor to look at her first.
She was asleep, her hand resting on his should after sliding down from his face. The gems were on their way, but he could tell them they got home safe later. The corrupted Ametrine was something they would have to face without him. Connie needed medical attention as soon as possible.
On command, Lion created a portal, and after a few seconds they were back on earth, right in front of the hospital.
"How come you never take me straight to where I want to go, but you do every little thing for her?" Demanded Steven as he slid off of the big cat. Of course he didn't really mind it this time, but the irritation had been growing for months.
Lion snorted, then promptly laid down for a nap, knowing it would only irritate the boy further.
—
It was an hour before the nurse came to let Steven know that everything was okay. Connie was stabilized and sleeping peacefully.
Steven breathed a sigh of relief. It had been awful carrying Connie up to the doors, to be rushed by doctors and nurses, and be interrogated by the staff as to "What happened?!"
He waited for a while, texting his dad and the gems the news, and wondering if he would be able to see her. As nurses and doctors bustled around, he wondered if Connie would remember the familiarity of the hospital when she awoke.
Suddenly a ragged scream split the quiet busyness of the hospital waiting room, and some nurses ran to the patient ward door. Steven felt himself start to get pink as he recognized the tone. Connie must have woken up.
The scream stopped, and a few minutes later the door to the patient ward flew open as Dr Maheswaran emerged, eyes roving over the seats to land on his. She started towards him, her eyes locked on him, eyebrows drawn together in a dark glare -
"Um, hi Dr Maheswaran," stammered Steven as he awkwardly stood up. "I - "
He squeaked as the fierce woman grabbed him in a tight hug, trembling like a leaf. "I…I wanted to thank you," she gulped, words tight as she tried to hold back tears. "I, I don't know why Connie was injured, and she doesn't know either, but you brought her home to me and I…I wanted to thank you. Also," she added, voice shaking a little more, "I noticed you didn't heal her…head injury. Or her illness . Thank you for giving her time to work though it."
Steven's eyes welled up with tears, and he hugged her back tightly. "I'll be here," he promised. "She won't be alone."
Dr Maheswaran gave a little sob. "She was so alone when she was younger, before Beach City," she cried softly, hugging him tighter. "I'm…I know I'm intimidating, and I'm glad I am but…thank you, Steven. Thank you for loving my daughter."
"Oh god," sobbed Steven, bewildered. "I…I don't know what to say."
"Would you come and speak to Connie?" asked Dr Maheswaran, pulling out of the hug to wipe her eyes. "She won't let us do anything until you come. She's like a caged cat," she admitted ruefully. "She knows you more than she knows me right now." There was a small sad note in her voice, and Steven felt for her.
"Of course," he said, wiping his eyes. "Should I try to help her remember?"
"No," said Dr Maheswaran. "It's only been a few hours, and we've been running a few tests. We aren't sure what all has happened to her, so we are waiting for her MRI and CAT scans before we make any other advancements."
"Understood," said Steven, and followed her to Connie's room.
—
She had woken up slowly, coughing weakly, eyes adjusting to the white light. Instead of snow, this time she was laying in a strange bed. The ceiling had giant square lights on it, along with a picture of the blue sky with clouds. There were machines around her with flashing lights and numbers, and there was a strange beeping sound. Steven wasn't there.
She looked down and saw that she was wearing some ugly kind of shirt or dress, and she had a bracelet with letters and numbers on it. There was a needle taped to her wrist, and she saw with uneasiness that it was pumping fluid into her. Her neck was stiff, and she felt the back of her head. There was a bandage, wrapping around her forehead and hears to the back of her neck. Her hair had been pulled up into a messy ponytail to keep it out of the way, and if felt tangled and greasy. There were little circles with wires taped to her chest too, and feeling slightly claustrophobic and overwhelmed she began ripping them off in order to free herself.
The beeping became a steady tone, and suddenly people wearing strange uniforms were thundering in, taking the wires from her hands and trying to put them back on her, scolding her for taking them off, and checking her vitals.
"Don't touch me," she gasped out in the middle of the commotion, voice raspy, terrified of these strangers, as she crawled back further into the bed, she started slapping their hands away and trying to kick them. "What have you done with Steven?"
"Get Dr Maheswaran," said one of the ladies dressed in blue, and another one ran from the room.
"Don't come near me!" Cried the panicked girl, tears of fear spilling over, her voice rising into a shriek and ending in a fit of high-pitched coughing.
"It's okay, we aren't going to hurt you," one man tried to sooth, but she shrieked and kicked over the rolling table next to her violently at him, trying to make her point of stay away.
"What is going on in here?" Came a commanding voice, and she gasped as a tall woman with an authoritative demeanor walked into the room.
"Connie darling, you're awake," said the woman, looking relieved and concerned. "What's the matter?"
Connie? Wasn't that what Steven had said?
"Connie, sweetie, are you okay?" Asked the woman, reaching forward to touch her.
Still clinging to the bar on the side of the bed, she took a deep breath, opened her mouth, and screamed. Long and loud, deeper than normal, ragged from her sickness and yet strong. The woman stepped back in surprise, alarm on her face.
One of the previous women stepped up to the newcomer and said something in her ear. The dark eyes widened, and the woman cried loudly, "If I bring Steven, will you stop?"
The scream abruptly ended, and she sulked in the corner of the bed, breathing in great gulps of air, coughing, moaning, and still crying. She knew she looked pathetic, wiping her running nose on the sheets and struggling to breathe, eyes and hair wild.
"Fine," said the woman, straightening her long white garment. "I'll go get him. In the meantime, nobody touch her."
Her eyes followed the woman as she watched her leave. Then her eyes darted around, watching the people in the room. They looked awkwardly at her, offering smiles. She glared, nose running and still gasping. This feeling in her diaphragm was familiar; had she struggled breathing in the past too?
A few minutes passed, and she heard a door open and the sound of boots in the hallway. She sat a little straighter, hoping.
Steven stepped into the room, and gasped. Connie had knocked over a table, and had a wild look in her tearstained face. She was gasping for air, the liquid in her lungs gurgling, and he recognized her panic attack. She'd had them before, usually when it came right up to finals, and he'd helped her during one or two.
"Ste-heven," she gasped out, reaching with her hands for him, fresh tears on her face. "He-help me-he." She began coughing into her elbow, then moaned miserably.
"Hey, hey," he said gently, running to her side and crawling into the bed, kicking off his boots and leaving them on the floor. He wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled against him, eyes still on the people around them. She listened to his calm heartbeat, and began trying to breathe steadily.
"Sh, sh, deep breaths," he soothed, drying her tears. He rocked her gently, laying a hand on her head and finishing the circle of his hug with the other on her back. "I'm here, and these kind people aren't going to hurt you."
"The-hey were tr-hying to st-hick thi-ngs on me-hee," she gasped out, still struggling to breathe calmly.
"They need to put those things on you," he said, noticing the monitor connections in the nurses hands, and began rubbing her back. "Those things make sure your heart is still beating, and it keeps track of how many beats a minute. That way if something goes wrong, they can come and help you." Thank God she taught me that when we were kids, he thought.
She was still sniffling, but her breathing was steadier now. She eyed them, but noted their hopeful faces. "They will h-help me?" She asked, still uncertain.
"Yes," said Steven softly. "They are called nurses, and that one is a doctor," he pointed at Dr Maheswaran, who had moist eyes. "They save people's lives, and help them when they are sick."
She coughed again, and raised the sheet to her face to wipe her nose on it. "Connie, no," Steven stopped her, sitting them up in the bed. He beckoned at a nurse for some facial tissues. "Use this," he said, and held one out to her. She looked at him blankly, clearly not remembering what to do with it.
"You can track and hunt and keep me alive for days but not wipe your nose," he murmured, marveling at her, smiling as he closed the tissue around her nose firmly. "Blow."
She did obediently, not knowing she should be embarrassed. Gently but firmly cleaning her nose he grinned at her. "Better?" She gazed at him, eyes still glassy from sickness and now exhaustion from her little episode, and nodded slowly. A nurse stepped forward with a trash can and he tossed the used tissue away.
Connie looked at Dr Maheswaran, "Do I have amnesia?" She asked softly, looking at the doctor lady, eyes still untrusting.
Steven glanced at Dr Maheswaran in surprise, who took a step closer. "We think that you might have it, yes," she said, interested that her daughter remembered that medical term but not her mother. "We are running a few tests. But if you let us do what we need to, then we can help you."
Connie gazed at the woman curiously, as if she was thinking or trying to figure something out. Dr Maheswaran looked at her hopefully, but Connie just said, "Can Steven stay with me?"
"Visiting hours are - " began a nurse, but was silenced with a look from Dr Maheswaran. "Yes," she said, hand on her hips. "I will make a special allowance for Steven to stay with you at all times as long as he is able. Though he may have things he needs to go do," she added, raising an eyebrow, asking.
"I'll need to call my therapist every Thursday," he said, "But other than that I'm free." He ignored the image of Ametrine in his mind. "I'll do whatever you need me to."
"Thank you," said Dr Maheswaran, rubbing her eyes furiously. "Connie, can we put the monitors back on?"
She looked at the nurse who held up the stupid circles with a smile. She sighed and allowed herself to be re-situated in Steven's embrace so that they could do whatever it was they were doing.
Throughout the evening, she resisted a little, not appreciating the poking and prodding and checkups, but a gentle coaxing from Steven was all it took for her to relax and allow them to do what they had to. She trusted him. It was especially hard when they took the blood sample, having to draw it from the tender underarm of her elbow. She hissed in pain, watching her red life force spurt into the small container, but Steven held her hand and told her she was brave. She was then rewarded with some ice-cream to sooth her throat, and that made her perk up immensely.
Steven put on a movie, and they sat quietly. The hours passed, but Connie refused to sleep. Finally she looked up at Steven and said in a hoarse voice, "Is my name Connie?"
Steven looked down at her, his sleepy brown eyes concerned. "Yes."
"Oh." Was all she said, looking back down. He gently pressed his hand under her chin to make her look at him. "Why do you ask?"
She blushed. "I hoped it was something cooler."
He laughed, hugging her tighter. "I love you," he said, the smile from his laugh lingering on his face.
She kept her eyes on him, smiling too. She loved his laugh. She reached up slowly touched his cheek, smirking as she said, "Boop!"
This released more giggles, causing Connie to begin coughing again, and he gently patted her back until she stopped. She sighed, laying against him, and began to ramble in a sleepy voice, her hand wandering up to play with the hair behind her ear.
"I just don't remember things. Like my name. I believe you when you say that's my name, but I don't remember it being my name. And that lady, Dr Ma-" she stammered out the last name, the syllables difficult for her to pronounce all together "-Maheserin? She looks familiar. I don't know why. Oh my gosh!" She suddenly gasped, sitting up, coughing, tears filling her eyes.
"What?!" Asked Steven, alarmed by her sudden reaction.
"They shaved my head!"
"You still have all your hair," he protested, touching her ponytail.
"No," she moaned, tears spilling over as she lifted it up and pointed underneath. "I don't!"
Now he saw. At the nape of her neck, where her bandage was, they had shaved her hair in order to clean her wound thoroughly. "It's not bad," he soothed, rubbing his thumb along the edge of the bandage where the short hair gave way to her longer hair. "No one will see it, and it will grow fast. Your hair has always grown fast."
"It does?" She stopped, staring at him. "You mean it?" She doesn't remember.
"Of course I mean it," he said. "Granted you don't have magic hair, but it will grow fast."
At the mention of magic she suddenly lifted his shirt. "What's that?"
Steven started at her forwardness. With amnesia and sickness Connie had lost her usual filter, and her natural curiosity was far more childish.
"Whoa Connie," he gasped, laughing and firmly pushing her hands and shirt down. "That's my gem."
"Gem?"
Crap. More explanation.
"It's…a…man I'm not sure how to describe it. You don't remember it?"
"I saw it in the cave when I was getting you into the dry clothes," she murmured. "I remember a lot about us. We sang that jam song. I tried to stop the giant blue lady but she broke my sword. We hung out all the time, and make up after every fight. A giant white lady - " she stopped, coughing and closing her eyes. "I don't want to remember that."
"The gem is a part of me," he said, and she seemed to accept that answer. Maybe just to stop thinking about White Diamond.
A few minutes passed, silent as they watched the movie.
"When you were so angry and broken and pink," started Connie, breaking the silence. "And you…looked like a monster," she added, just to clarify. "Were you scared?"
He laid his head back on the pillow, silently exasperated. He was so tired and just wanted her to close her eyes and rest. Go to sleep, Maheswaran! He thought at her. This no-filter Connie was like a five year old with her constant, insensitive questions and utter refusal to sleep.
"Yes," he said softly, rubbing her back and willing her to rest.
"I shouted stuff at the people that day," she said softly, "that's how I remembered your name. I must have failed you when that happened," she added quietly, tracing the star on his shirt. "You were broken, and I must have failed to protect you."
Oh. Oh.
"That's not how it was," he said gently. "I failed you."
"But you - "
"I didn't tell you how to help me," he explained. "I closed myself off to you and everyone else, and so I was crushed by my problems. But even so," he added, "you were there for me and were strong for me, no matter how hard I tried to push you away. You were amazing to me."
She was quiet as she listened, probably trying to remember it. He looked down at her, and saw her eyes closing slowly, sleep overtaking her. He held his breath, but suddenly she shook herself, fighting it.
"Connie, you're sick," he protested. "You need to sleep! Stop fighting it!"
"I can't," she mumbled softly.
"That's a lie," he argued, a pang of hurt hitting him. His eyebrows furrowed. "Don't lie to me. You nearly fell asleep, why aren't you letting yourself rest?"
She looked up at him slowly, dark apologetic eyes gazing into his with a new desperation in them. She swallowed, tears spilling over, and said in a soft, raspy voice, "If I close my eyes you'll leave me again. I…I don't want you to go."
"Oh Connie!" He cried, tears springing in his own eyes. "I'm not going anywhere! I promise, I'll be right here when you wake up." He pulled her into a tight hug, then reached over and pushed the recline button for the bed, making it flatten. "It's time to sleep," he scolded gently. "You need to rest. And just like you were there for me," he promised, "I'm going to be here for you."
She began to cough, and he patted her back again. When she was done and had sipped some water from the cup at the bedside table, he pulled her to himself.
"I'm sorry I lied," she muttered, rubbing her eyes.
"I forgive you," he said gently, rubbing her back. Her breathing was deep, as though she was still fighting a little bit to breathe, but she relaxed completely in his arms. Running his fingers over her forehead and into her hair, he began gently singing in his baritone voice -
In the light of the day
In the dark of the night
When you're raring to go
When you're tired from the fight
When you're losing you're mind
Let me give you a thought
I'm gonna be right by your side no matter what
She smiled against him, listening to the words. He gazed down at her, wistfully wishing he could kiss her forehead and make all her pain go away. One kiss could make everything better. But he couldn't rob her of this precious, natural walk back into mental and physical health.
Through whoever you've been
Through whoever you'll be
Through whatever you lose
You will always have me
At the end of your rope
I'll be holding you tight
I'm gonna be right by your side no matter what
She was breathing, deep and slow, steady and with only a touch of the gravelly sound from her lungs. Her lips parted slightly as she drifted into deep slumber, and he hugged her as she finally surrendered to the long-needed rest.
Dr Maheswaran checked on them around midnight. Steven lay on his back, snoring softly. Connie lay with her head on his chest, arm draped over him, nestled safely in his embrace. Coming close, Dr Maheswaran leaned down and kissed her daughter on the temple. "Mama loves you even if you don't remember it, baby," she whispered, tears springing in her eyes. She leaned over Steven and kissed his forehead too. "And Mama thanks you, sweet boy," she whispered, "for taking care of her little girl."
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