"Children's Work" by Dessa

"Murphy McManus!" I screeched, running down the stairs with a pregnancy test in my hands. Connor and Murphy were at the table having some coffee while the triplets were playing on the floor beside them. Kelly and Declan were probably off to school by now since Tyler normally drives them there.

Murphy recognized the thing in my hand immediately and swallowed his coffee a bit harder than he probably intended to. Connor immediately picked up his coffee and began herding the children out of the kitchen. They protested a bit but followed obediently.

"I thought you went and got a vasectomy." He winced and looked at the test hopefully. "It's positive, you twat."

"I didn't think ye would get pregnant again," he said defensively. I clenched my jaw, refraining from throwing the test at him. I wanted to murder him. I might murder him. Then I'll have a prison baby.

"How could you think I wouldn't get pregnant again?"

"Well, ye're getting old-"

"Murphy I would not use that argument," Connor called from the living room. Murphy took Connor's advice and shut his mouth, looking at me for an idea of what to do or how to handle this. I breathed in and exhaled sharply.

"We have to go to the hospital so I can see if I'm going to murder you or not."

He stood. "I'm gonna get Tyler to go with us. Or Eunice. Or Smecker."

"Get whoever you think can prevent me from killing you." He opened his mouth, decided against his comment, and walked out the front door without even bothering to put on shoes. I walked out into the living room and sat next to Connor on the couch. He glanced at me.

"Twins or triplets?"

"I swear to God if it's more than one I'm going to scream." I ran my hand through my short, curly hair and sighed. "How the fuck are we going to handle six to nine kids?"

"That I don't have an answer for."

"I'm just going to have to move everybody into the house."

"Wasn't the point of this house to get away from everyone?"

"You live here."

"Well, yeah, but Murphy and I are essentially the same person."

"I know, it's a twin thing," I rolled my eyes. Matteo grinned happily as he stole Dina's block while she was babbling to Conan. She immediately noticed, however, and took two of his. Immediately Matteo began sniffling but Conan threw one of his blocks at him. And then he was fine. Even though they can barely talk, they manage to function in their own little ecosystem.

"Oh god. What if it's only one kid. They'll be left out."

"Cecilia, you're having one of those anxiety attacks," Smecker announced as he walked into the room. He glanced at Murphy behind him. "More brats? You two make adorable ones but none of us were serious about making your own sports team."

"Speak for yourself," Eunice grinned as she sauntered into the room and immediately greeted the triplets. "I'm all for more babies around here. Seeing as I haven't gotten one of my own yet."

Connor choked on his coffee. Smecker and I exchanged looks. Damn, I really thought she'd bag Klaus. Smecker raised his eyebrows, clearly thinking the same thing. Murphy, however, looked lost.

"It's never one thing at a time here, is it?" Smecker laughed.

"What? I have no idea what ye're talking about," Connor insisted, his voice about half an octave higher than normal.

"You're saying that the two of you aren't," he trailed off, looking at the little ones.

"Fucking?" I finished. Not like the kids haven't or wouldn't hear that at some point.

"No," Connor and Eunice said, not believably, in unison. "No." We just stared at them, even the kids (who were mostly just wondering why people were saying 'no' when they were being perfect angels).

"Well, you and Tyler started it," Eunice pointed at Smecker. He gave her one of his signature sassy looks.

"Honey, I don't think we were hiding that."

"Hiding what?"

"The fucking everyone's been doing," I replied before wiggling the pregnancy test in the air. Tyler walked closer to see the result.

"Again?"

"Again."

"Well shit. You two don't do anything half-assed."

"Neither do we," Eunice and Smecker muttered in unison. By now, Connor had turned several shades of red beside me. Tyler looked entirely unbothered.

"Everybody already knew? Then why were we hiding it?" Eunice demanded, hands on her hips.

"Okay, that's our cue." I kissed the kids on the head. "Tyler, Smecker, you're the lucky referees today." I started herding the guys out of the room before turning and pointing at Connor and Eunice. "The babies not dying comes before fighting and fucking, right?"

"Right," Connor raised his cup of coffee. "They'll be fine."

"I will have your heads on spikes if they aren't," I yelled cheerfully over my shoulder before shoving the three men out of the door and to the car. Smecker took the keys from Tyler before he could get into the driver's seat. Tyler rolled his eyes but climbed into the passenger seat. Clearly he didn't feel like it was worth it to get into a fight over who got to drive. Then again, Tyler's so easy-going that he probably literally didn't care because it mattered more to Smecker who got to drive.

Murphy held my door open for me before getting into the car on the other side of the back seat. He held my hand, lacing his fingers with mine and kissed my cheek.

Smecker drove us to the hospital in relative silence, broken only by Tyler arguing with him over what music to play. Eventually Smecker gave in and admitted that the station Tyler kept picking wasn't "so bad." They worked easily together. And it hadn't been much of a surprise when they started spending more time together around the time Conan, Matteo, and Dina were born.

Oh lord. I'm going to have to get an entire roster to read every time I reference the kids. Declan, Kelly, Matteo, Conan, Dina, and Baby...and maybe Baby number two.

Smecker parked the car and turned the engine off when we arrived.

"Well, we're here. Better go find out how many buns you've got in there," he announced cheerfully.

The men sat in a few of the chairs while I checked in. I didn't even get to sit down before I was called back for some tests, Murphy following along with me. They took some blood and had us wait in an examination room before coming back to confirm that I was pregnant.

"It looks like ye're about ten weeks along," the doctor said as he checked the results. "That means we should be able to see something on the ultrasound. So if ye would follow me this way." He waited for us to follow him before walking into another examination room. "I'll go get one of the technicians for ye."

"Maybe it's just one," Murphy said, trying to comfort me. I turned my head to look at him with raised eyebrows.

"I'm not sure if that's better or worse. What if they're lonely because they're just one?"

"Ye want more than one?"

"I mean, no, I wanted to be done after the triplets but here we are," I laughed. He looked guilty again. I sighed. "I'm only a little mad. And I'm not actually mad. Maybe it's all part of the plan. Who knows at this point."

"I honestly didn't think ye'd get pregnant again, love."

"I know. I didn't either. But this is it. Definitely no more."

"We're both getting too old for this," he laughed, relieved that I wasn't actually furious.

"Well what's the verdict?" Smecker questioned, standing when we went back into the lobby. I held up the ultrasound photo, which Tyler took to examine with Smecker.

"Twins? Again?"

"Again," I confirmed.

"You guys do know how condoms work, right?"

"Shut up, Tyler."

"They're going to need name tags when they visit you at work. Adrienne is also going to kill you."

"Probably, but at this point, she should be used to the chaos."

"Pretty sure she likes it."

"Pretty sure she likes more than just that," Smecker quipped. Tyler and Murphy looked at him curiously. I studied his face, trying to guess where he was going-oh my god.

"Connor?"

"And Eunice. Totally consensual."

"Huh," Murphy and I said in unison while Tyler just kind of stared.

"That's not a bad plan. I don't think just one of them could handle all of his antics."

"Not the first time," Murphy shrugged.

"Why am I always the last one to figure this stuff out?" Tyler finally asked. I put my arm around him.

"You're just too damn busy respecting everyone's privacy," Smecker grinned delightedly, leading the way out of the lobby. "Now let's get back so I can stir the pot."

"You're like a walking ball of chaotic sunshine," I observed. Tyler almost doubled over laughing, hugging me tightly with one arm. Smecker paused thoughtfully, stole Murphy's newly lit cigarette, and shrugged before walking away with it.

Murphy swore under his breath before lighting another one with a shake of his head.

"Hey Mom, hey da," Kelly and Declan greeted in unison as they walked in the front door and threw their bags on the table.

"We're gonna go to Granda's until dinner-"

"Is that okay?"

"After we talk to you about something first," I interjected before they could just run out the door. They exchanged confused glances before looking at us suspiciously. They knew it wasn't about them-their grades were perfect, they stayed out of trouble for the most part, and they were pretty helpful with the triplets. They're good kids.

"What did you do?" Declan asked, causing Murphy to choke on the water he had been drinking.

"Why do ye assume we did something?"

The twins exchanged a glance before raising their eyebrows at me. They've definitely seen me do that one too many times to Murphy. I tried not to laugh and remain serious. They make that hard sometimes.

"I mean, they're technically right," I said, sitting beside Murphy at the table.

"Is this because you're pregnant?" Kelly asked. She and Declan crossed their arms, refusing to sit down.

I couldn't help it, I laughed. "How long have you known?"

"Ever since you started wearing baggy shirts again," Declan shrugged.

"Also no coffee any more," Kelly nodded.

"Now can we go?" They requested in unison.

"Yeah, yeah," Murphy waved his hand.

"Thanks!"

And then they were out the door and over to Noah's house.

"They're too fecking smart," Murphy declared.

"They're very oddly observant for twelve-year-olds. I was not that observant at that age."

"I'm still not that observant."

I laughed, patted his knee, and stood. "Trust me, I know."

He rolled his eyes as a response while I went back to cooking. Twins. We have to think of more fucking names.