start notes—

Marinette and Adrien love each other. Ladybug and Chat Noir hate each other. Things go about as well as expected.

my tellonym: milkisande

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enemies

i am superman,
and i know what's happenin'.

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"AND he keeps making these infuriating jokes that aren't even that funny!"

Marinette huffs as she takes a box of camembert to put in the freezer. She spares her partner a passing glance of confusion, before raising it up. "I thought we agreed that we should start buying less of these?"

Adrien grins, somewhat nervously, as he takes the box from her hands. "What can I say? I just love my cheese!"

"But why this kind? It's expensive," Marinette rebuts, shaking her head. "And it smells gross. I just don't get why you like them that much." She leans toward him and pinches her nose, scrunching it in evident distaste. "See, you're starting to smell already!"

"It's not that bad," Adrien tries to reason with her, surprisingly undaunted by the scent beginning to fill the room. Marinette briefly wonders how he manages to keep a straight face the whole time, but decides that it's just one of those strange quirks of his that she hadn't known about until they moved in together.

(Other traits which fell under that list included his tendency to nap a lot, his frequency to disappear at random moments in time, and most of all, his extremely weird habit of acting like a cat, especially when he wasn't aware of it— something Marinette would honestly find adorable if it didn't remind her so much of a certain someone that got on her nerves almost a hundred percent of the time.)

Marinette sighs to herself, finally nodding in defeat. "Fine," she finally mutters. "But you're showering before you come to bed, okay?"

Adrien nods enthusiastically, putting the camembert down to suddenly grab her by the waist and press a kiss to her cheek. "Thanks, Mari."

Fortunately, after years of being together, Marinette's learned how not to explode into scarlet whenever he shows even the barest minimum of affection.

Doesn't stop the light blush that dusts her cheeks afterward, though.

"So you were talking about this workmate of yours?" Adrien finally asks, as Marinette feels the anger rush back in her veins. She bites her cheek, then exhaustedly runs a hand through her hair.

"It's just… I don't get him at all!" Marinette whines. "It feels like the purpose of his whole existence is to make mine as inconvenient as possible. And it's not just me that he's bothering, it's everyone! How cruel do you have to be to actively play a part in trying to make everyone's lives miserable?"

Adrien hugs her closer to him, putting his chin atop her head. "Sounds like a pain."

"You have no idea," she mumbles. "Chat — I mean, whenever we chat, it's like everything he says is just to spite me! He keeps making jokes whenever we meet and they're not even that clever!"

"I don't understand why you don't just quit then," Adrien finally says, after a long pause. "We're earning enough money, so I don't know why you took on this extra job in the first place."

"It's not like I don't want to quit!" Marinette tries to protest, before immediately shutting up as the words leave her mouth. "I just… can't," she finally confesses. "And it's not like you can talk. You have your mysterious extra work too."

Adrien laughs. "I have to pay for that camembert somehow, right?"

"That sounds like a problem that could be easily fixed if you just stopped buying it," Marinette points out, as she starts to giggle herself. "How's work, anyway? That co-worker of yours still bothering you?"

At that point, it's Adrien's turn to heave a sigh of exhaustion. "Bothering is too small to describe what she's doing to me," he says, and though she can't see it, Marinette can practically imagine the annoyed expression on his face. "She keeps ruining all my plans! Things I've spent so much time trying to perfect, she ends up destroying just like that!"

"That's awful," Marinette frowns, hugging him closer. "I can't believe anyone would actually do that? How is anyone okay with what she's doing to you!?"

"Actually, a lot of people are on her side," Adrien replies, a tone of evident distaste dripping from his tongue. "But they just don't know better, and I can't blame them for that. It's just… I've tried explaining to her what I've been doing, and she still insists that I'm in the wrong!"

With that, Adrien lets her go, walking over to the counter as he combs back his hair in stress. Marinette quickly moves next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder and linking their hands together. "Well, I'm sure they'll find out the truth someday," she finally says. "And for now, I'm glad you're doing what's right." She looks up at him, then presses a shy kiss to his cheek. "My personal superhero."

"Who needs Ladybug, right?" Adrien teases.

"Believe me when I say she's not all that," Marinette laughs, as if it were an inside joke. (And it was; Adrien just didn't know the punchline). "So what do you say that we stop thinking about people who aren't worth our time, and spend time with people that do? Let's have lunch together, tomorrow?"

Adrien looks down at their linked hands, then beams at her proposition. "I love you, Marinette."

She's practically glowing. "I love you too!"

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"I never thought I could hate anyone until I met you."

"Aw, milady, I'm flattered that you've thought of me!"

Ladybug seethes as Chat Noir easily dodges her attacks, at some point even yawning just to spite her. She attempts to lunge at him, only for the latter to press his baton and jump to another building. "I'm not that attracted to girls throwing themselves at me, sorry!"

"Please, like I'd ever throw myself at you." She scoffs, quickly making chase as he runs away from her grasp. "And I doubt you've had any girl actually have a crush on you."

"I was actually pretty popular in my day!" Chat Noir shouts back, leaping over the rooftops of random civilians. "Even have a steady girlfriend now, if you could believe it!"

"How unlucky."

"For you?"

Ladybug rolls her eyes. "For the girl."

"What about you, then?" Chat Noir begins to ask, looking back at the irritated superheroine. "Are you going to go ahead and ruin this unmistakable chemistry between us?"

"What chemistry? If anything, our relationship's best described as toxic." She points dryly, before hooking her yoyo to one of the taller buildings, pulling herself over and suddenly appearing before him. Ladybug quickly sticks her leg outward, and before Chat Noir can make sense of what's happening, trips him over as he's sent tumbling over to one of the rooftops.

As she stands over him, victorious, Ladybug speaks: "And I have a boyfriend."

Chat Noir only smirks.

"My condolences to the guy."

Then he shouts cataclysm!, as the floor below them breaks into pieces, as Ladybug's sent tumbling down while Chat Noir uses the baton to keep himself in the air, as he gracefully lands onto the next building. She tries to jump over, realizing only a little too late that her leg's caught in the wires.

He offers her a catlike grin. "You know, we'd be unstoppable if you just joined me! We'd be a purrfect team."

"I'll never join the side of evil!"

"And as I've told you before, I'm not evil," Chat Noir shouts back at her, shaking his head. "Do you ever listen to me?"

"There's no way that you can persuade me of that." Ladybug only responds, then gestures to the destroyed architecture around her. "You just destroyed a whole building! People could've gotten hurt!"

"Don't you mean purrsuasion?" Chat Noir teases. "Besides, this building was empty. It's a hub for illegal activity at night, so nobody's here in the morning. And now, criminals have nowhere to do their shady dealings. I honestly think I did you a favor!"

"You must be extremely simple if you think that would stop criminals from acting," Ladybug says, rubbing at her forehead. "Besides, aren't they your comrades or something?"

"Me!? Please, I work alone," Chat Noir points out. "And I'd never stoop down to their level."

"Destroying property and scaring the people of Paris not that bad for you, then?"

"Believe me, I could be doing much worse."

"But you're not!"

Chat Noir sighs. "Just know that I'm doing my best in my own way," he shrugs. "And you don't have to believe me." The sudden beep of his phone distracts the conversation. "But for now, I have to go."

"Wait, Chat Noir—"

"Until next time, milady!" He winks. "It was pawsitevely a pleasure to see you again."

"Don't you dare leave, we're not finished—"

"Bye!"

When Ladybug finally manages to free herself, Chat Noir's already gone. She debates upon chasing after him, but the beep on her own phone reminds her of a certain appointment.

One she was certainly already late for.

Ladybug spends the next few minutes zooming across Paris to get to her apartment on time.

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When Marinette arrives, Adrien's already in the kitchen.

He smiles at her.

How she needed to see that smile today.

"Rough time at work, then?"

Marinette exhales deeply.

"As usual."

"But at least you have me."

"At least I have you!"

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end notes—

rushed ending but this was v fun to write ! if my writing is unclear, the premise is basically that marinette and adrien are dating and live together, but they're also supers in secret - ladybug is paris' hero, while chat noir is widely regarded as the villain (even if it's not that black n white) ! i feel like ive been saying this a lot but id love to write more about this in the future hskdfs :')

anyway, gonna keep this short coz im uploading kinda late but as always:

thank you for reading! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～