Chapter Three

Angel woke mid-morning to find Buffy asleep in the chair. He just shook his head as he lifted her effortlessly from the chair and placed her in his bed. Buffy didn't wake at all, just stretched out a little as she snuggled into Angel's sheets and breathed in his scent deeply. Angel made sure she was tucked in then crossed to the kitchenette where he saw the mug of blood waiting to be warmed up. He said a silent thank you for the woman watching out for him.

With his warm mug Angel settled into the chair Buffy had been asleep in and watched her as she slept. Sitting there he wondered why she came to L.A. when she did…how did she know I needed someone to ground me and trust in what I knew had to be done…?

An hour or so later Buffy began to stir. She lazily turned over on her back, sat up, and smiled at Angel. He couldn't help but grin back.

"Shouldn't I be the one in the chair?" Buffy teased.

"Well, since I was awake I thought you may be more comfortable in the bed than the chair." Angel explained with his half smile gracing his face.

Buffy yawned and stretched and feeling more relaxed than she had in months asked, "So, what questions did you have?"

Angel had thought she may try to avoid the conversation for as long as possible and so was caught a little off guard. He recovered quickly though and asked her how she knew to come to L.A.

"Actually, I didn't. I had no idea Darla and Dru were back until I heard Cordy, Wes, and another guy complaining about how you had been acting recently," Buffy started and went on to explain how she found his office in disarray and went to Cordy's apartment fearing Angelus, but overheard the truth. "At first I was just glad your evil twin wasn't the problem, but then I realized that with the two of them in town you would be in full brood mode. I came back to the hotel looking for you and I found you sitting here and you know the rest, "she finished.

Angel nodded and then said, "But, then why did you come here in the first place?"

Buffy took a deep breath knowing that she had to lay it all out there now or she never would. "Almost a week ago I found out that Riley was paying vamps to bite him. Then, less than 24 hours later he tells me the military wants him back and I have to give him a reason to stay or he's leaving. He's gone. I…

"He was paying for them to bite him," Angel interrupted angrily and silently added, "no need for that, I'd do it for free!"

Yes.

But, why? I mean I know why…but why Riley of all people?

Taking a deep breath Buffy dove into the heart of the matter.

Because he said that when they bit him it was all about needing; about having to have that person, even if just for their blood. He said that I didn't need him. That I kept him at a distance. He didn't feel like I gave him my heart and soul. Then Xander found out Riley was leaving and that I was just going to let him go. Xander told me I had to put it all on the line – love with everything I am and he told me I was about to lose my chance at it. Stupidly, I ran to catch Riley, but thankfully I was too late.

Angel who had begun to hate Xander more than he thought possible perked back up with that last sentence as Buffy continued…

Angel, as I walked home that night and then sat on the stairs till dawn I realized that Riley and Xander were right. Riley never touched my heart and soul…I did keep him at a distance. I was never weak in front of him. Xander had also said Riley was being treated like my rebound guy and that's one time he was right. Riley was just convenient. Xander was also right in telling me that I have to take a chance on being hurt again. You, Angel, don't just have my heart and soul, you are my heart and soul. You are my reason to keep on fighting. I need you, without you I'm not whole and I don't know how much longer I can keep hiding that fact. When we're together it's like we're the only two people in existence. You hold my entire world in yours.

As Buffy paused Angel started, "Buffy, I know what you mean. I understand completely how you feel, because it's the same for me. If it weren't for you I would have neither a heart nor a soul. You make it possible for me, a vampire, to have, know and treasure the full meaning of love. I love you more deeply than you could ever possibly imagine."

"But that doesn't solve our problems, I know," Buffy interrupted so she didn't have to hear him say it…again. "You do know that the only real problem is the happiness clause, don't you?"

"Well, it's a huge reason I left but I also want …"Angel started.

"No! Bullshit, Angel, I am the Slayer. I will never have a normal life. And, really, I don't want one. That was a childhood dream that I didn't know how to let go of until you turned away from me and didn't bother to look back. After that the gang just assumed that I was happy being normal during the day and a slayer at night. It doesn't work like that. I'm not normal. Besides, monsters come out to play in the daytime too."

"Buffy, what's going on in Sunnydale?"

"We'll get to that shortly. Right now I need you to realize and then admit the truth of why we aren't together."

Sitting back in his chair Angel looked into the eyes of the passionate woman in front of him. Yes, woman. She was no longer the teenager he had seen on the steps of Hemry. Buffy was a woman now and her innocence long gone. Angel forced back the thoughts that he was the cause of most of that loss. He saw in front of him a mature woman, one who knew her mind and heart both; who wasn't going to let his false and half-hearted objections be believed anymore.

"Okay, Buffy, I give. I want you in my life. I have ever since the first time I saw you. I won't deny or ignore what's between us anymore. The only thing keeping us apart is my soul."

Buffy had never known a happier moment and threw herself into him.

There was no way Angel could stop the chair from toppling over and themselves from being sprawled on the floor. They stayed in each other's embrace for a few moments before Angel kissed the top of her head, and then held her in his arms as he stood and walked the few steps to the bed.

Now, sitting up against the headboard with his arms around the woman he loved Angel again asked about Sunnydale.

"It's Mom and Dawn. Mom's struggling to stay out of the hospital and Dawn isn't really my sister. These monks took a ball of energy, the key, and made it into a human girl. Specifically, they used my blood and gave it to me because I am the slayer and would therefore be able to protect it. Angel, this Hell God, Glory, from another dimension wants 'her' key back. She doesn't know yet that the key is Dawn, but I don't know how to stop a god from getting what they want."

After that first sentence the tears Buffy had kept inside for so long started streaming forth. As she kept on talking Angel moved them so that he was leaning against the headboard with Buffy sitting between his legs lounging back against him. When Buffy finished they remained still and silent allowing Angel to digest the information and Buffy the opportunity to literally take a deep breath and feel some of the weight of the world lift from her shoulders.

Still on autopilot as he thought about how to get rid of Glory, Angel gently kissed the top of Buffy's head and whispered, "Shh, Beloved, I'm here, it's going to be okay."

Emotionally spent Buffy didn't argue that she had no idea how it was going to be okay. Instead she just snuggled back further into his chest as his arms wrapped protectively around her. Neither knew how long they sat together like that before they fell asleep.