Why did I lose so many teeth? It's never happened before."
"Wolfie found some metal to bite."
"Of course I did. This is worse than when I ate a chair."
"What happened?"
"Mouth splinters."
"Ouch." Sirius said with a wince.
"I didn't get you did I? I know Molly said you looked a bit rough."
"I'm fine, just tired. I think we both ran a marathon last night."
Throughout their exchange Remus had been fidgeting incessantly in the bed, groaning whenever he stayed in the same position for too long.
"Are you alright Moons, you're looking very pale."
"I'm ok, although Harry will have my utmost sympathy when he starts teething."
"Thank Merlin Molly could regrow them."
I know. I was pretty worried magic wouldn't work like it doesn't for the rest of the injuries and I'd have to go to one of those awful muggle dentists Lily told us about."
"Speaking of the rest of the injuries, you kicked off the night by having a pretty good go at your back, do you want me to check it's not too nasty?"
"If you really wouldn't mind." Remus answered.
"Can you sit up?"
Remus shuffled painfully until he was upright.
Sirius had seen the aftermath of a moon on Remus' skin many times before, but always with the comforting knowledge that Pomfrey would be on her way to assess the damage.
He lifted up Remus' top and, as he had suspected, there was a gaping wound in the small of his friend's back. It didn't cover as large of an area as some of the scratches, but it was very deep.
"How does it look?"
"It's a bit yellow. Is that bad?"
"Very very bad." Remus was sounding quite panicky.
"Is there anything that would help?"
"What's going on?" James asked, entering the room with a newly bathed Harry.
"One of my bites is infected."
"That's not good." He said, looking a bit green.
"I need to clean it." Remus stated, attempting to heave himself up.
"I'll do it." Sirius volunteered.
"I can do it myself."
"I don't think you physically can." James pointed out.
They were right, Remus' body was protesting when he made even the slightest movements, let alone bending over backwards to try and reach the cut.
Sirius disappeared into the bathroom and returned with a wet flannel and soap. He then muttered a spell that caused Remus' shirt to seemingly teleport onto the bed.
"Nice Pads." James said approvingly, "where'd you learn that?"
"A magician never reveals his secrets."
"Especially if the secret is he's been doing some extra reading." Remus deduced.
Sirius shot him a look of betrayal.
James meanwhile was looking decidedly unwell. "I'm going to go and make Harry some food." he said, swiftly backing out of the room.
-
"So how exactly do I clean this?" Sirius asked once their squeamish friend had fled.
"Just wipe it like when you usually wash."
"Let me know if I hurt you."
"You need to do it thoroughly so it's properly sterilised, which probably will hurt."
"But if it gets too bad?"
"I'll scream like a banshee."
"Ok."
Sirius cautiously began dabbing the wound with the flannel but withdrew his hand when Remus hissed in pain.
"Ignore me." Remus instructed.
Sirius started again, trying to be as gentle as possible, frequently scourgifying the flannel to get rid of the blood and gloop.
Remus was attempting to grit his teeth through the worst of the pain, but found this impossible with his weirdly shaped mouth.
Finally Sirius had finished. He cast a quick bandage charm, completely covering Remus in the wrappings.
"What was that?" Remus protested through the bandages.
"It's meant to just cover all the injured parts of someone."
"Then I think it's safe to say that all of me is injured."
"Why have you made Moony into a mummy Padfoot." James asked, poking his head round the door with three steaming cups of tea hovering around his head.
"It was an accident."
Sirius vanished away the bandages, then Remus cast a different spell that was far more effective and made him look less like an ancient Egyptian corpse.
"If you're up to it, Harry could do with some supervision downstairs while me and Padfoot do some cleaning." James said, the mugs still swirling in the air.
"I think downstairs might present a bit of a problem." Remus admitted.
"We could levitate you." Sirius offered, brandishing his wand.
"Or we could not." Remus reprimanded, lowering it for him.
"You'll feel better with a change of scene." James decided and Sirius cried "Levicorpus!"
-
"I do not feel better."
"It's your fault for having such long limbs."
"I really don't think that's my fault."
"In conclusion we won't be doing that again because Padfoot has terrible wand control and Moony is a giraffe."
James stood back as the other two turned on him with cries of "I have excellent wand control!" and "I am not a giraffe!"
"Right, Moony's in charge Harry, but he's feeling a bit unwell so no clambering on him." James explained as he fiddled with the tv.
"This child has yet to utter a single syllable Prongs, and yet you expect him to understand the word "clambering"." Sirius pointed out.
"Due to the fact that he is 1, I reckon he's also going to struggle with "a"." Remus added.
"You two have no faith in him; he's going to be a genius."
Harry chose that particular moment to pick his nose and eat it.
""Going to" being the operative part of that sentence." Sirius only just managed to duck the cup James sent flying in his direction.
-
It only took about half an hour to clean up the safe room, not because it wasn't a sordid mess, but because magic really did make life so much easier.
When James and Sirius came back into the lounge, they found Remus and Harry fast asleep together on the sofa, both snoring softly, with the cat draped across both of them. The baby had nestled into the scarred man, and was gripping one of his fingers with his tiny hands. It was clear that both of them had crashed out before Remus could even press play.
"We should take a picture of this and send it to the ministry." James whispered.
Remus started at the sound of his voice and immediately looked guilty for not keeping a closer eye on his charge.
"Sorry we woke you Moons." Sirius said as he flopped down next to the pair and lifted Harry onto his lap.
Now he was awake, the baby was less than pleased that the movie hadn't been put on yet, and he began clamouring in earnest. James however, merely sat down and looked at his son expectantly.
"Why won't you turn it on?" Sirius asked over the racket.
"He's being so vocal, I'm wondering if he's going to say his first word."
"If his first word is "tv" I think you might lose custody mate."
"And another option is "Pooh" which will be fun to explain." Remus added.
James quickly started the film.
-
"How am I Rabbit?"
"He's the bossy one who's always telling everyone not to do things. And him pretending he doesn't have any food is like when someone hides the nice biscuits in a high cupboard that he knows Padfoot can't reach."
"Maybe it's because otherwise Rabbit wouldn't get a look in at the nice biscuits because if Padfoot had access they'd be gone in a day."
"Big talk from the person that snarfed down an entire pack of bourbons in half an hour."
"I … was unaware you knew about that."
"Ok, Moony has a sugar problem and Padfoot needs to learn to share, let's move on. I think Sirius is Tigger."
"Agreed."
"Then Prongs is Pooh."
"Justify." Remus said.
"He's a bear of very little brains."
"Justification approved."
"Since when were you in charge?"
"Since you called me bossy."
"That was Padfoot."
"You didn't disagree."
"Anyway, I'm not a bear."
"And I'm not a rabbit and last time I checked Padfoot wasn't a tiger."
"I think Lily would be Kanga." Sirius interrupted.
"And Harry was her Roo." James said quietly.
"What about Christopher Robin?" Remus asked, after a moment of silence.
"Dumbledore." James answered after some thought.
"I don't know; I really can't imagine him in shorts." Sirius countered.
It was probably a good thing they were laughing so much they missed the sentimental ending. James had been trying to limit his crying to just once a day.