Double Entendre
Chapter 10
Middleton High—Morning
Seeing the husky boy on his way to class with his friends Vinnie and Joey, Crystal called out, "Big Mike?"
"Huh?" The large young youth, surprised at his name being called out, turned about, mouth agape at the sight of one of the Middleton cheerleaders other than Kim, Tara, or Hope approaching him.
"Cheerleader wants to talk to you." Joey muttered in disbelief to his friend.
"Kim, Tara, and Hope talk to us all the time." Vinnie countered.
"They've done time." Joey pointed out, "They're one of us. She's one of those who hangs out with the bitch."
Her heart sinking as she heard the scrawny detention room inmate's words, Crystal pleaded, "Please, Big Mike. I need to talk to you about someone you know."
"Why?" Mike asked, scratching his head. "And who?"
"Her name's Zoe." Crystal replied as she handed the calling card left by the stripper to the large boy. "She wants me to give her a call. Mikey told me that you worked with her…"
"You know Mikey?" Big Mike exclaimed in disbelief. "I didn't know you liked comics."
"There's a lot about me a lot of people don't know." Crystal replied. "He told me to tell you that your Fearless Ferret comics are in."
"They are?" A giant grin broke out on the large youth's face, "That's great. I've been waiting on them." His suspicions towards the cheerleader allayed somewhat, Big Mike asked, "Okay…what do you want know about Zoe?"
"What sort of person is she like?" Crystal inquired.
"I don't know her that well." Big Mike admitted, "She's always been nice to me and the other valets, but we don't usually hang out with the dancers and waitresses, and we can't give out customer names. Sorry. I wish I could tell you more."
"Thanks anyway, Big Mike." Crystal smiled back, "Maybe we'll run into each other at Mikey's."
"Cool." The detention room inmate replied, further suggesting, "You might want to go ahead and give her a call—find out what she wants." Shrugging his shoulders, he added, "What have you got to lose?"
Middleton High—Cheerleader Practice
"Great practice, team!" Kim Possible grinned as her squad conducted a flawless routine. Seeing that her squad was sweaty and tired, the redhead announced to her team, "Looks like our work here is done for the day, girls. Hit the showers!"
"Thank God!" Tara murmured to her best friend as she sniffed under her arm. "I positively reek."
"I hear you." Hope groaned as she got a whiff of her own rather powerful body odor, "Think anyone'll mind if I just stay under the water for an hour?"
"Better not let Barkin catch you." Tara joked, "You heard his rant about us wasting water. I was going to tell him he'd save money by running gin through the fountains but he gave me that 'Say one word and I'll give you one week's detention' face."
Laughing, Hope nodded her head in the direction of the team's brown-haired prima donna who was at that moment approaching the team captain. "Looks like Bonnie's ready to start the next round in the pissing contest. Ten dollars it's her wanting to be captain."
"Sucker bet." Tara laughed as the pair quietly listened in along with their teammates. "Oh…this is great…Bonnie's laying on the 'Oh you look so tired' bit."
"And Kim's countering with…" Hope then launched into a sarcastic imitation of the team captain, "I did just fly in from Abu Dhabi after rescuing the ambassador's son! No big…"
Laughing, Crystal, normally one of the more shy members of the team, chimed in, "Bon-Bon's not buying it. She's saying…" The auburn-haired cheerleader then delivered a surprisingly good impersonation of Bonnie, "But Kimmie…did you give the squad 110% today like moi?"
"I think we've found a another one for the act." Tara laughed as she pointed at the two divas still engaged with each other, "Oh look…Kimmie's raised the bid to 120%."
"But I think the captain should give 130%, including giving our team mascot a blowjob." Jessica mocked as some of the cheerleaders moaned and groaned in pain at her last comment.
"And Kim just called Bonnie's bluff." Tara smirked.
"And Bonnie goes off in a snit." Hope laughed, "Think she'll fold again?"
"Not this time." Crystal replied after glancing around to make sure she wasn't in earshot of the brown-haired cheerleader, "I heard her and Marcella talking earlier. Bonnie's serious this time. She really wants the job." Pausing for a moment, the auburn-haired cheerleader lowered her voice, "I think Bon-Bon's feeling the heat from her older sisters."
Hope shrugged her shoulders, "Lonnie and Connie have always been pains in the ass to her, but we'll see what she's got. If she's willing to put up with all the hassles and work, and Kim wants to take a breather…more power to her."
"Yeah." Tara snorted, "Bonnie might find out that getting the job might not be as much fun as she thought once she has to deal with all the headaches Kim does."
"So…" Hope smirked as she did a quick headcount of the cheerleaders, finding a certain redheaded cheerleader not named Kim standing by the door to the locker. "I don't see Liz hanging on Bon-Bon's side with Marcella like she usually does…what's up with that?"
Jessica answered in response to her fellow cheerleader's query, "You need to keep it quiet for now until Liz is ready to tell everyone…promise?"
"We promise." Tara, Hope, and Crystal responded.
"Okay…" Jessica acknowledged, "Hope…Tara…I know you two have never really trusted or liked Liz and Crys and I can understand why."
Nodding her head, Crystal agreed, "Yeah…Liz…and I for that matter…have never given you good reason to trust either of us. But…well…it's hard for some of us to stand up to Bonnie. So…yeah…we all bought into her food chain bullshit—until recently."
"So what's changed?" Tara inquired.
"I'm…" Crystal began hesitatingly, ending on a pleading note. "I'm…I guess you can say that I'm in the process of trying to figure out some stuff about me. I don't really want to talk about it now…okay? I'm just trying to sort it all out. Maybe later…please?"
"Okay." Hope nodded her head as she recalled her own recent trials with her family, "I guess that's fair enough. We're all going through some shit of one kind or another right now."
"Yeah." Tara agreed, "But if you ever want to talk about it, Crys…"
The tawny-skinned cheerleader responded with a shy smile, "Thanks. You three will be the first to know."
"What about you, Jess?" Hope queried, "What made you start questioning the food chain."
"Easy." Jessica grinned, "It was when I started going out with Steve. He doesn't put with Bonnie's bullshit."
Tapping the side of her chin with her index finger, Tara commented, "He's a decent bloke. Besides being easy on the eyes, he's got a mind to go along with the hard body, unlike some of the other jocks such as…"
"Lenny Buttrick!" The girls laughed in unison.
"Anyway…" Jessica declared, "Kevin's Steve's friend—that's how I got to know him."
"And I got to know him when Jessica and Liz introduced me to him at Edna's a few weeks ago." Crystal added. "You guys caught on to Bonnie quick. While Jessica took a little longer, and now me and Liz are coming around."
Crystal responded, "Some of us caught on a little quicker than others and Liz is just now putting it all together. You see, she began dating Kevin Guberman a couple of weeks ago…"
"Yeah." Crystal nodded her head, "Steve's cool…so's Kevin. But you know how Bonnie is…"
"Good on her!" Tara enthusiastically exclaimed, "Kevin's a good man—not to mention a damn good chess player."
"Bonnie's not going to make it easy for you and Liz, Crys." Hope pointed out. "She knows better than to mess with me, my bestie, and Jess. We're not like Kim who still wants to play nice all the time—we'll knock her ass to the dirt and she knows it. But you two…she's going to try to push you around because it's always worked for her in the past."
"We know." Crystal affirmed. "Bonnie still has a lot of pull with a lot of people and can make life hard around here if she wants to." Sighing, she confessed, "I'm not going to lie to you, that worried the both of us. But…Liz really likes Kevin and as for myself…like I said, I'm trying to figure out some stuff about me."
"Don't worry, Crys." Tara grinned, "You've got us in your corner. Bonnie starts giving you shit…"
"Just call us." Hope interjected, "Like I said, we've got no problem kicking her ass."
"Thanks." Crystal responded with a smile. "Right now, though…" She caught a whiff of her BO, "I think it's a good idea for us to hit the showers."
"I'll second that!" Hope responded.
"Motion carried." Jessica and Tara both laughed as the four girls made their way to their lockers.
After School
"You guys catch Bonnie's little snit-fit?" Kim asked as she and Ron caught up with the Dirty Pair outside the school grounds.
"Yeah." Tara replied with a derisive snort as she took a cigarette out of her gold cigarette case and lit it, "This is what…the third time this year she's whinged about being captain?"
"At least." Kim laughed. "She's just wasting her time."
"I don't know about that, KP." Ron cautioned, "Bonnie can be pretty sneaky when she wants something bad enough. Expect her to pull some dirty tricks." He then glanced at the other two cheerleaders, "What do you girls think?"
Hope answered back with a shrug of her shoulders, "Long as whoever's captain gets the job done, I don't care who's calling the shots."
"Same here." Tara replied.
"Thanks guys!" Kim huffed. "A little support here would be nice, you know!"
"Kim…" Hope laughed, "I've seen the bullshit you have to put up with from all of us and from Barkin and the coaches and I've got a feeling there's a whole bunch of other stuff you have to deal with..."
"You have no idea!" Kim sighed, "Choreographing routines…making sure the roster's complete and every girl gets their moment at least once during the season…fundraising…committee meetings…and that's just the tip of the iceberg."
"Exactly." Tara nodded her head, "Bonnie's got this idea that being captain's gonna vault her up and knock you down on the stupid food chain she's always on about, but what she's not thinking of are the headaches that she's gonna get that go along with the job."
"You're right." The redheaded teen giggled, "She's got no idea what she's letting herself in for. Hell…I ought to let her have the position and take a vacation."
"Now you're thinking!" Hope chuckled, "Give her a couple of weeks on the job…maybe a month…and she'll be begging you to take it back."
"Thanks, girls. I'm feeling a lot better now." Kim smiled at her friends, "Me and Ron are headed to Bueno Nacho…wanna join us?"
"Thanks, but we'll take a rain check." Tara replied, "We're going to Lady Diana's for tea."
"Oh…" Ron laughed, "That's right. It's tea-time for you Brits, isn't it, Tara?"
"Don't be knocking afternoon tea." Tara mock threatened, "I'll have you know it's a sacred ritual. Uncle John never misses it. He even had a portable tea service he took with him on missions."
"No!" Kim exclaimed with a hearty laugh, "Really?"
"Really!" Tara giggled, "You should talk to Grandmama or Auntie Emma sometime. They can tell you some brilliant stories about him. Anyway, Stoppable…" The blonde cheerleader playfully warned, "Don't take the piss on one of the holiest times of the day."
"Okay…Okay…" Ron held up his hands in mock surrender, "No dissing tea time."
"Good boy." Tara grinned as she jokingly patted the blond sidekick's cheek. "We'll see you two later."
"Later!"
Middleton High—the next day
"So…what do you want to do tonight?" Hope asked as she and her roommate walked down the hall together to their next class.
"I was thinking about going to the Club. Check out the strippers…maybe see if Max has a job lined up." Tara replied, "Sound good to you?"
"Works for me." Hope grinned as their fellow cheerleader Jessica Sundstrom, accompanied by her boyfriend Steve Farley, walked up.
"Hey guys." Jessica smiled, "Making plans for tonight?"
"Yeah." Tara answered back, "We were thinking about doing some clubbing. You guys?"
"Movies and popcorn." Jessica replied.
"Yeah." Steve chuckled, "We're renting Topkapi."
"Classics, Huh?" Tara chuckled, "That's one of Grandmama's favorites. Of course, she saw it when it first came out in the theaters."
"I'll bet your grandmother was into the whole mod scene." Steve responded with a laugh.
"You should see some of the pictures I have of her." Tara chuckled. "The one I really like is her wearing a miniskirt and at and standing in front of her red Lotus Europa."
"No!" Steve exclaimed, "Really?"
"Yep." Tara laughed. "I get my love for sportscars from her and my Auntie Emma. She used to drive a Lotus Elan back in the day."
"You should see David's car." Hope interjected, "Porsche Boxter."
"Damn." Steve gasped as he gave Jessica a flirtatious wink, "Maybe we can sweettalk my folks into springing for that 'Vette?"
"In your dreams, Shortstop." Jessica laughed, "Afraid you're gonna have to settle for that Z-28 you've been eyeing." Before she could say anything else, the tiny group heard a shout coming from the end of the hall.
"What the hell?" The blonde adventuress exclaimed as she and Hope raced down the hall, followed close behind by their friends.
Reaching the end of the hall, they found a group of students clustered around someone on the floor.
"That's Margaret!" Jessica exclaimed, at once recognizing the girl as being a friend of both her and Steve's.
"Clear out!" Tara ordered as she, Hope, and Steve muscled their way through the students where they found a girl on the floor in what appeared to be an epileptic seizure. Quickly dropping to her knees, Tara ordered, "Hope…Steve…Jess…keep everyone back."
"You all heard my bestie…" Hope commanded, "Let's give them some room."
"Okay everyone…" Steve requested in a calm, sure voice, "Get back like the lady said, give 'em some space."
Looking around, Jessica quickly removed Margaret's purse and books lying on the floor and secured them in a safe place.
"Here's my jacket." Steve said as he took off his letterman's jacket and handed it to Tara, "Use that for a pillow."
"Right." Tara replied as she did as the baseball captain suggested, tilting the convulsing girl's head to the side as she did so.
"I'll go get the school nurse." Jessica said as she took off down the hall.
"And I'll fetch Mr. Barkin." Hope declared as she did the same.
Glancing down at her watch, Tara noted the time as she heard a student ask, "Shouldn't you stick something in her mouth to keep her from swallowing her tongue?"
"No." Tara shook her head. "That's an old wives tale."
"She'd be more likely to bite Tara or damage her teeth if Tara were to stick something in her mouth." Steve further explained. He then asked the blonde, "How many minutes?"
"I'd say two minutes so far." Tara replied, "Assuming she collapsed at the first shout. "If she hasn't stopped in about three more minutes, call 911. Otherwise, we'll let the school nurse handle it." After another minute, Margaret stopped her erratic motions. "Okay…" Tara sighed in relief, "She's stopped jerking." Looking up at Steve, she requested, "Can you help me put her on her side."
"Yeah." The baseball player answered back as he knelt down and helped the blonde cheerleader move the stricken student on to her side just as both Mr. Barkin and Nurse Feelgood ran up.
"Don't you all have classes to get to?" Mr. Barkin growled, sending the other students at once scurrying off. Looking down, the substitute teacher nodded his head approvingly, "Nice work. Farley…King. Glancing down at the nurse who had taken over for the two students, Mr. Barkin inquired, "What's it look like, Nurse?"
"Looks like a Grand Mal seizure." The nurse replied. She then took out her cell phone and punched in 911. "The paramedics are on the way. They can get her to the ER where a doctor should be able to carry out a proper diagnosis."
"We'll need to ask the four of you to come to the office just in case anyone has any questions." Mr. Barkin requested, "You all performed excellently just now and don't worry about tardies or missing any work. I've got you covered."
About an hour or so later, after being interviewed by the principal, the four students were dismissed with Mr. Barkin issuing them all passes clearing them from having any tardies on their records and allowing them to make up any missed work Reaching their classroom, Jessica and Steve said their goodbyes, "This is where we split up. Catch you two later."
"Take it easy, guys!" Hope replied with a grin. "Well…last period of the day."
Middleton High—end of school
"Tara? Hope?"
Hearing their names called out, Tara and Hope, both walking down the hall to the exit, turned about to see Kim approaching them. "What's up, Kim?" Tara asked.
"I heard about all the excitement earlier today." Kim exclaimed, "Have you heard how the girl's doing?"
"Not yet." Hope replied, "Last we heard, they were taking her to the hospital. Steve's been in touch with Margaret's brother. He says he'll let Jessica know what's going on when he finds out more and she'll let us know."
"Well…I hope everything turns out okay." Kim then asked as the trio walked down the hall towards the exit, "I'm kinda curious. How does Global Justice contact you when they've got a mission for you?"
"I either get a call or Max—the bartender over at the Kitty-Kat Club tips me off." Tara replied, "Why? Betty call you up for a job?"
"Not quite." Kim related, "It's real weird how they contacted me. Did you know GJ's got trap doors all over the place that are transport tubes that carry you right to GJ headquarters? I got dropped into one while I was walking back from the Bueno Nacho with Ron yesterday. Scared the crap out of him—he thought Bonnie had kidnapped me or something." Kim gently laughed as she recalled her sidekick's reaction.
"Betty must have wanted to put on a show for you to go through all that trouble." Tara chuckled. "When she contacted me, Hope, and David for our last job in Europe, she just called me on my phone and we met up at Delano's. So…what's the job or is it need to know?"
"I don't think it's need to know. At least she didn't say anything about keeping quiet." Kim replied, "Do you know anything about a Professor Sylvan Green?"
"Yeah." Tara nodded her head, "I remember Uncle John talking about a couple of associates of his who were from UNCLE…Napoleon Solo and Ilya Kuryakin…who were involved in a case involving a missile defense project."
"The Sirenita Guided Missile Tracking System." Kim interjected, "I looked it up on the internet a while back when I was doing a research paper on the Cold War."
"Yeah…that's it." Tara nodded her head, "From what I remember, Uncle John said that THRUSH had swiped the plans and Solo and Kuryakin had to get them back. But that was way back in the 60s. Green should be retired and hitting the links in Florida now. Why?"
"You're right about him being retired." Kim affirmed, "But he's disappeared."
"Hmmm…" Tara murmured, "Why would anyone want him? As you said, everything he's done is available online. Why go through the trouble of kidnapping him?"
"I'm curious about that too." Kim admitted, "Anyway, Doctor Director put me with someone who she says is her top agent, but…"
"Who's the agent?" Tara interrupted as the trio exited the high school. "We know a few of them."
"Him." Kim said as she pointed to a young man with Asian features and tawny skin wearing a blue Global Justice uniform waiting on the school grounds, his back ramrod straight, with Ron, looking somewhat the worse for wear, standing a distance off. "Will Du."
"Twinky?" Tara laughed, "Betty stuck you with Twinky? She must want him out of her hair for a while. That, or it's time for him to renew his field certification. He's her sodding administrative assistant! We send all our supply requisitions to him."
"Yeah." Hope chuckled, her lips turned up in an evil grin, "I'd have loved to have seen the look on his face when we sent him our last requisition."
"Sweetie…" Tara giggled, "You gotta admit, those orders we sent were priceless…"
"Do I wanna know?" Kim rolled her eyes as her face reddened.
"You'll find out on Halloween along with everyone else." Hope smirked with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
"So…" Kim said, getting back to the subject of Will Du, "You're telling me he's just a glorified gofer?"
"Yup." Hope and Tara both nodded their heads.
"Spankin'!" Kim laughed, then, her laughter dying down, she growled as her eyes fell on her disheveled best friend and then on the Global Justice agent. "Is Du always like this?"
"Like what?" Tara smirked.
"Does he always behave like he's got a stick up his ass, and is he always a fucking son of a bitch?" Kim snorted.
"Pretty much so." Hope snorted. "Why? Is Twinky giving you a hard time?"
"That's putting it mildly." Kim sighed, "I'm about ready to punch him into the next state. Leaving out his snide insults—those I can deal with, no big. The asshole tasered Ron for no reason. That pissed me off!"
"What?" Both Tara and Hope exclaimed as they glared at the GJ agent. "What the hell happened to cause him to do that?"
"All Ron did was come up on him and hold out his hand so he could shake it." Kim replied, shaking her head. "He was just being Ron, you know. Being friendly. The next thing we knew, he shot out an electric wire from that watch of his and Ron and Rufus were both on the ground twitching. When I asked him why he did it, he said it was standard procedure to do that to anyone who gets within a meter of him."
"That's bullshit!" Tara spat out as both she and Hope stomped towards the officious agent with Kim marching alongside, all three girls with fury in their eyes. "There's no such sodding protocol! He was just being an arsehole. Being tasered fucking hurts! And that much electric charge could have killed Rufus!" Drawing closer to the GJ agent, Tara called out, "Oy, Twinky!"
"Yeah…over here, Twinky!" Hope shouted. "I'm gonna play Red Forman and shove my foot up your ass!"
Seeing the two independent contractors, both categorized in the data banks as thieves and assassins, and both of whom he despised drawing closer to him in the company of the teenager he'd been forced to work with, Agent Du glowered, "This is a Global Justice law enforcement operation. You are not authorized to be here Ms. King. You neither Ms. Rossi. Your presence is neither wanted nor desired. It's bad enough I am forced to permit these two…" the GJ agent's lips curled up in a sneer, "…amateurs…to assist me." The overbearing agent growled, "There's nothing for you to steal and no one to sanction on this mission."
"Assist you?!" Kim nearly screamed, "The hell I am! Like I told you earlier, I'm working with you as an equal. So take that assisting bullshit and cram it up your tight ass with that stick you've already got up there!"
"That's telling the wanker, Kimmie." Tara sneered as she glared at the GJ agent. "I'm sure Betty would love knowing that you tasered Kim's partner for no reason."
"He came too close…" Du countered, "Regulation 45-H, paragraph 32 explicitly states that when an agent feels endangered, he may take what measures he deems necessary to secure his person."
"Shut your pie hole, Twinky!" Hope spat out. "All Ron wanted was to shake your goddamn hand. There's no excuse for doing what you did!"
"Going off half-cocked seems to be a thing for you, Twinky." Tara mocked. "Just like with Zoe at the Club. You remember?" The blonde's lips turned up in an evil grin as the GJ's face turned a bright scarlet. "I see you do, you stupid prat. You know you owe Zoe for a new corset, don't you?" Tara mocked, "She had to throw away the one you ruined when you prematurely launched, you little pencil necked tosser."
"Are you talking about what I think you're talking about?" A red-faced Kim whispered as she tried to contain her laughter.
"Yeah." Hope whispered back, "We'll fill you in on all the gruesome details over drinks when you get back from your op. You're gonna want at least one stiff drink after working with this asshole."
Reaching Ron, Tara asked in a gentle and soothing voice, "You and Rufus feeling all right, Ron? I can tell you from personal experience that getting tased is no fun."
"Yeah…I'm fine." Ron smiled back at the blonde cheerleader as he subconsciously rubbed his forehead where the bolt landed, "How are you feeling, Rufus?"
Giving Tara and Hope a friendly wave, Rufus chittered back, "Good to go." Turning to Will Du, the little naked mole-rat stuck out his tongue and blew the GJ agent a raspberry.
"That's telling the wanker, Rufus." Tara and Hope both laughed.
"Bonnie at three o'clock." Hope warned as the brown-haired cheerleader approached.
"Well, if it isn't the Trashy Trio." Bonnie smirked.
"Missed you at practice, B." Kim smirked back.
"I was busy getting our new fundraiser off the ground, Kim…girls…" Bonnie smiled evilly as she handed her rival a box of chocolate candy. "Think you can spare some time from your world saving to sell a box?" She then handed a box each to both Tara and Hope, "Think you two can take a moment out from your partying to contribute to the team."
"Easy." Kim replied, maintaining her placid demeanor.
"Don't worry, Bon-Bon, we'll sell your little boxes." Hope grinned.
"I'm pretty sure we can get some buyers when we go out tonight, Sweetie." Tara smirked.
"Super." Bonnie smirked as she got into a truck that had just pulled up. "I'm hoping to sell a few myself. See ya later!"
"No way she's gonna sell all those." Kim declared, grabbing her partner by the arm, she waved goodbye to her fellow cheerleaders. "We're going to get going on our mission now. You girls take it easy."
"You too, Kim!" Tara and Hope waved back, "And if Twinky gets out of line, just threaten to sic Zoe on him!"
"Will do!" Kim laughed back, then, seeing the GJ agent turning his attention towards her, shook her head, "Get on the plane, Twinky. I wasn't talking to you."
"So…" Tara asked her partner as the pair made their way down the street, "Wanna check with Max tonight?"
"Sounds like a plan, bestie."
Middleton Kitty-Kat Club that night
Immediately on entering the night club, Tara and Hope at once made their way to the bar where Max stood behind the counter with their drinks already made for them.
"White wine for you, Hope, and gin and tonic for Tara." The bartender said as the pair took their usual stools.
After lighting her cigarette and taking a drag, Tara exhaled before taking a sip of her drink. "Oh…you have no idea how good this tastes, luv." The blonde adventuress purred as her friend took a sip of her wine.
"Hey, Max." Hope grinned, "We're looking for work. You got anything lined up? Hopefully involving something shiny and/or sparkly."
"Maybe…yeah." The bartender answered back. "Perfect job for the two of you."
"What's it involve?" Tara inquired as she took a drag from her cigarette and exhaled.
"Duff Killigan's golf ball collection." Max guffawed as the girls rolled their eyes. "Someone's willing to pay premium price for it. These golf balls are all diamond studded, twenty-four carat gold." Max grinned. "Also, Killigan stole those balls from the rightful owner—Bobby Puff Caddy, the former PGA champion. He's the one footing the bill to get them back."
"I guess that beats brass balls all to hell." Hope quipped.
"Damn…I've always wanted to know what diamond studded golden balls felt like in my hands." Tara joked. "How much does the job pay?"
"Snatch all his balls and there'll be a cool twenty grand for each of you."
Tara smirked as Hope nodded her head in agreement, "All right, Max. We're in. We'll neuter Killigan for you."
Hope's lips then turned up in a leer as her eye caught sight of one of the new male dancers, "Enough business for now. I'm in the mood to check out the new dancers."
"Sounds like a plan." Tara leered as she finished her drink "Let's go. See ya later, Max."
Possible Home—the same evening
"Who's your new friend, dear?" Ann Possible asked as her daughter as she, Ron and Agent Du entered the kitchen.
"Agent William Du, Ma'am." The Global Justice agent politely responded, cutting off the redheaded teen before she could make any formal introductions. "I've read your most recent paper on laser…"
Thankfully, before Agent Du could deliver a complete exposition on her mother's paper, Kim's Kimmunicator sounded. Seeing that the number on the other end was that of Jessica's boyfriend, Kim hit accept. "Steve? That you?"
"Yeah, Kim." Steve Farley's voice came through the speaker, "Sorry if I interrupted anything…"
"No…" Kim said with a relief, "You're not interrupting anything. Is this about Margaret?"
"Yeah." Steve replied. "I just wanted to let you know that they've run into some problems and they're holding her for observation and more testing."
"Crap." Kim sighed, "They're still not sure what caused the seizure?"
"Not yet." Steve responded, "They're waiting on blood work and some other test results. We should know more tomorrow."
"Thanks." Kim said and then asked, "Did you get hold of Tara and Hope?"
"Yeah." Kim could almost imagine the baseball player blushing at the other end as he replied, "I think they must have gone clubbing or something because Tara sounded like she'd had a few…if you know what I mean. There was a lot of music playing and women hooting and hollering and I thought I heard someone telling Hope that she couldn't use her hands. That she had to use her teeth to pull it down…no…" Steve paused as Kim imagined the baseball player blushing and rapidly shaking his head as he pleaded with his girlfriend who was listening in to the conversation, "Jessica…please…no more giggling." He then turned his attention back to Kim, "No don't even ask, Kim…I don't ever want that image in my mind."
"I'll tell you about it on Monday!" Jessica called out.
"I'm gonna keep you to that promise." Kim replied with a laugh and then, getting serious again, directed her next remarks to Steve, "But you were able to let them know…right?"
"Yeah." Steve answered back, all humor gone from his voice as well, "They know."
After a few moments, the redhead said in a voice edged with concern, "Hopefully, the test results will come out all right. Tell Jess to take care and thanks for the call. And for what it's worth, Steve…at least your phone doesn't have a visual pick up on it. You don't want to know what I saw the last time I called those two up."
"Thank heaven for little favors." Steve chuckled, "I'll keep you guys updated if anything changes, Kim. Goodnight."
"Everything okay, Kimmie-cub? James asked as he entered the kitchen.
"I'm not sure." Kim replied with a shake of her head, "A girl at school suffered a seizure so they took her to the hospital…"
"I was there." Ann nodded her head as she recalled the case, "We're still waiting on lab results, but something seems to be off."
"That's what Steve…Steve Farley…Jessica's boyfriend…"
"The baseball player?" James inquired.
"Yeah." Kim responded, "That was him on the phone. He was just calling to let us know what was going on with Margaret. He'd just gotten hold of Tara and Hope."
"I hope those girls are staying out of trouble." Ann sighed.
"I think they've found something they could sink their…teeth…into that'll probably keep them busy for a while." Kim answered back with a crooked grin that didn't go unnoticed by her mother.
"Yeah…" Ann quipped with a wry grin of her own, "You just make sure you don't sink your teeth into the same problem, young lady…at least not for a while yet."
Blushing, Kim replied as her father listened in with a raised eyebrow, "Oh…I don't think you have to worry about that, Mom."
"Good to know, Dear."
The Kimmunicator once again sounded as Ann and her husband, along with the Tweebs, withdrew to the living room, leaving the kitchen alone to Kim and her guests. "Yeah, Wade. Did you get the data"
"I got it. The young tech replied as a three dimensional holographic image of Green's house appeared on the table.
"Hmmm…" Rufus vocalized as he entered the simulation and began exploring.
"This is pointless." Agent Du declared with a sniff, "I've already thoroughly investigated the crime scene and found nothing of note there."
"Well…I haven't." Kim retorted and then requested, pointing at a shattered window. "Wade? Can you enlarge the entry point?"
"No problemo." The computer genius replied as the window enlarged, eliciting a surprised gasp from the naked mole-rat inside the program.
"Whoa! Cool!"
"Looks like your investigation wasn't thorough enough." Kim declared, giving the GJ agent standing next to her a smug grin. "Explosive method of entry…" She then noticed a tiny object embedded in the glass. "What's that? Wade? Can you isolate and enlarge that?"
"Sure thing, Kim." The techie quickly responded. "Running extrapolation routine…got it!"
"A golf ball?" Ron exclaimed.
"A golf ball hitting a window wouldn't be that unusual there." Du pointed out, "It is a retirement community and he does live close to the golf course."
Playing a hunch, Kim inquired, "Wade? Can you do a search on Professor Green? Look for any participation by him in online discussion forums and groups."
"On it." Wade responded, "Got something!" He called out triumphantly. "It looks like he's gotten into gardening and botany in a big way." The techie reported. "It seems he's also done some work with experimental fertilizers. He's won awards for his lawn three years in a row."
"You're following a red herring." Agent Du scoffed, "It's obvious Professor Green was kidnapped for his knowledge of weapons systems."
"He hasn't done any work in that field for at least two decades." Kim countered, "And his last significant work was done back in the sixties. You can get everything he's done online now. Why bother kidnapping the man when you can just do a web search?"
"Amateur." Du sneered, "I told Doctor Director that bringing you in was a waste of time."
Barely maintaining her cool and only just resisting the urge to punch the smarmy agent in his face, Kim forced herself to relax the fists her hands had formed as she settled for giving the agent a sweet smile, "I haven't even told you what else I found from the crime scene. Hyperactic acid. An experimental fertilizer only available on the black market."
"Looks like we're going to pay whoever moves black market agricultural equipment a visit." Ron interjected, "Who would that be?"
"Wade?" Kim turned her attention back once again to the team's tech, "Can you contact Tara and Hope?"
"Not a good idea, Kim." Wade responded, his face turning red, "Remember what happened the last time I called them on a weekend night at this hour?"
"Oh." Kim, turning beet red herself, responded, "Yeah…bad idea to call them now. Do you know who the contact is?"
"Give me a moment." Wade responded as he typed on his keyboard. "Yeah. Big Daddy Brotherson. He's currently holed up in Tangier. By the time you get there, it should be safe to call the girls."
"Please and thank you." Kim replied as she turned to the GJ agent, "Come on, Twinky. We've got to get to Tangier."
Tara and Hope on the way to Killigan's Isle
"Grapples?" Tara queried from the back of the Global Justice hoverjet her and her partner had hitched a ride on.
"Check." Hope responded.
"Lock picks?"
"Check."
"Rope?"
"Check"
"Weapons?" Tara called out as she checked her throwing knives and shuriken.
"Check." Hope answered back as she stuck her combat knife in its sheath and cocked her 10 mm pistol.
"Gear check out?" Scott called back from the pilot's seat.
"A-OK!" Hope answered back.
"Take it easy girls!" Janet advised from her position in the co-pilot's chair. "We've got a couple of hours of flight time yet."
As she spoke, Tara's Kimmunicator beeped. Seeing that it was Kim on the other end, the blonde adventuress answered, "Hullo, Kim. What's up?"
"You ever had any dealings with Big Daddy Brotherson before?" Kim queried.
"A couple of times." Tara replied, "He's a fixer and he's fenced some stuff for me in the past. Watch him. While he'll keep to the letter of any agreement you make with him, if you give the fat man any wiggle room, he'll take it. Also…don't try to bully him. He's got this mountain of a bodyguard who loves to play a little game called thud. I'm pretty sure you can imagine who's the thudder and who ends up being the thuddee. Best way to get something out of him is to just cut a deal for it. What are you looking for?"
"Information on who might have purchased some hyperactive acid." Kim replied.
"Doesn't sound like anything too expensive. Brotherson likes food and drink. He's especially fond of sweet stuff."
"Sweet stuff, huh?" Kim chuckled, "I think I've got the perfect bait for him. Thanks!"
"Anytime! Ciao!"
Tangier—Big Daddy Brotherson's Nightclub
Watching as Will Du flew out of one of the Moroccan nightclub's open windows to land with a resounding thud on a midden heap, Kim bent down to speak with the humbled Global Justice agent, "Direct approach by the trained professional didn't work, huh? Ready to watch an amateur at work?"
Grabbing the candy bars, except for one which she allowed her blond sidekick to keep, Kim entered the nightclub. Gasping in astonishment as her eyes adjusted to the low light, the first thought that came to the young redhead's mind was how much this looked like the nightclub in that old movie that her parents loved to watch on the Movie Classics Channel—"Casablanca or something like that…" Kim muttered under her breath as her eyes took in the scenery of the smoke-filled room—the men laying on cushions smoking their hookahs while leering at the belly dancers who were slowly stripping off their veils. "I wonder how many veils they're gonna…" The teen hero blushed a deep scarlet as she saw one of the dancers remove the last gossamer veil from around her waist, "Oh…guess that answers my question." Quickly averting her eyes, she spotted a piano where a man dressed in a tux played an old Cole Porter torch song as a woman wearing a sequined evening gown sang, her smoky voice providing the perfect ambience to the club.
Spotting her quarry, Kim slowly made her way towards the heavy-set man wearing a suit and a fez seated on a cushion with a tall, muscular man in a dark suit also wearing a fez standing alert in the background. "Big Daddy?" Kim politely inquired.
"Miss Possible." The entrepreneur spoke, gesturing at a pile of cushions on the other side of the low table behind which he sat, "Please…make yourself at home. Tea? Coffee?"
Having done her homework, Kim understood that it would be a big mistake to turn down his hospitality. Smiling, she politely inclined her head, "Tea would be fine, Sir."
A veiled woman wearing belly dancer's attire appeared and, after smoothly pouring some tea into a ceramic cup, quietly withdrew. Taking a dainty sip of the tea and finding it safe, Kim's lips turned up in a grin, "Thank you."
His smile broadening, Big Daddy inquired, "May I ask what brought you to my little establishment? Of course, if you desire, feel free to indulge your tastes at the bar or in the casino. Although…" His grin turned slightly predatory, "I get the feeling you are here for something else."
"Information, actually." Kim replied, matching her hosts predatory grin with one of her own. "I'm curious about who's been in the market for hyperactive acid."
"Ah…my dear Miss Possible…" Big Daddy's lips turned up in a wide grin, "I have one rule in my establishment—client confidentiality is sacro…" As the smell of milk chocolate filled his nostrils, the heavyset dealer's mouth watered as he laid eyes on the candy bar being waved in front of his face by the young redhead. "Is that…"
"Milk chocolate…" Kim purred, "Yes…with a chewy nougat filling. There's a whole box more where this came from. All I need is a name…"
"Duff Killigan." Big Daddy announced as he snatched the candy bar from the teen hero's hand.
"Thank you, Big Daddy." Kim smirked as she gestured at the box, "This is yours."
"Pleasure doing business with you, Miss Possible." Big Daddy grinned as he opened the candy wrapper. "Please give my regards to Ms. King when you next see her and tell her that I've just recently come into possession of some rather rare Japanese erotic art that I am willing to part with for a somewhat modest fee."
"I'll…uhhh…let her know." Kim replied as she stood up. "Thanks again."
"Anytime, Miss Possible. Please…do not be a stranger."
"I got a name." Kim triumphantly declared as she rejoined Ron and Agent Du. "Duff Killigan."
Taking out a tablet, Agent Du began to punch in a sequence on the keypad. "The GJ Global Database will tell us everything we need to know about Duff Killigan." His lips then turned up in a smug grin, "Standard issue for all top agents."
Matching the agent's smug grin with one of her own, Kim took out her Kimmunicator, "Kimmunicator. Extra special—just for me. Duff Killigan. Born in Scotland…"
"Former professional golfer." Du interrupted, reading from his database.
Spotting a suspicious silhouette of a man in a skirt with what looked like a set of golf clubs, Ron called out in a vain effort to get the attention of his two companions who were both too busy trying to outdo each other, "Uhhh…guys…we got a problem here…guys?"
"Banned from every golf course in the world—including mini-golf courses…" Du smugly reported.
"Due to anger management issues." Kim countered, reading from her Kimmunicator.
Ron then heard an ominous warning, "Fore!"
"Guys!" Ron screamed an alert.
"Weapon of choice…" Kim recited, not hearing her friend's urgent warnings.
"Exploding golf balls." Will interrupted as a beeping golf ball landed just in front of the trio.
"Duck!" Ron yelled as he pushed both Kim and Du behind cover, diving right behind them just before the ball exploded.
"Is everyone all right?" Kim exclaimed as she caught her breath. Turning to her best friend, she gave him a big hug, "Thanks Ron!" Dusting herself off, her face reddened as she confessed, "Du and I were so busy trying to one-up each other that we weren't paying attention. Thank God you were." Her face now etched with concern, she asked, "How's Rufus?"
"Rufus? Old friend?" Ron called out, his voice edged with worry, "You okay, little guy?"
"Okay!" Rufus responded with a thumbs up as he popped up from behind the midden heap and then scurried back into the shelter of his master's pocket.
"Killigan's our man." Du declared. "It all fits. The exploding golf ball at the crime scene and then the attack on us."
"Wow!" Kim mocked, "You figured that out on your own!" She then spoke to Wade through her Kimmunicator. "Wade? We need a location on a loony golfer named Duff Killigan."
"Right, Kim." Wade replied, "You hanging loose in Tangier?"
"No." Kim shook her head. "We're heading back to Middleton. I need to check on what's happening on the Bonnie front."
"Okay, Kim. When I find something out, I'll let you know."
Tara and Hope at Killigan's Isle
"Okay, girls." Janet called out as the two cat burglars dropped down from the hoverjet using ropes. "Call us and we'll pick you up here."
"Right." Tara responded with a thumbs up. Turning to her partner, she grinned, "Ready to snatch some balls?"
"There's nothing like holding on to a pair of golden balls." Hope joked back as the duo, keeping to the shadows, quickly found their way to an entrance hatch. "Shall I?" The olive skinned girl asked as she first checked for wires and alarms, and, finding none, took out her lockpicks.
"Be my guest." Tara replied as her roommate smoothly picked the hatch lock and opening the door, slipped in first, soon to be followed by the blonde adventuress.
"I better take the lead here, luv." Tara suggested as she took out an aerosol and sprayed it . "Just as I thought…a laser grid." She said as she spied an access panel. "Here we go." She grinned as she pried the panel loose. "Be a dear and hand me that multimeter." Tara requested as Hope handed her friend the detection device. "Got it." The blonde grinned as she took out a pair of wire cutters and severed the connection of a pair of red and yellow wires. Smiling in satisfaction as the grid went down, the expert thief whispered, "Right…let's check for motion sensors." Nodding her head in satisfaction at the absence of any motion detectors, Tara motioned for her friend to move up to her. "One trap down. Shall we see what else awaits?"
"Lead on." Hope grinned.
Catching a glimpse of the crossed golf club heraldic device on the wall, Tara rolled her eyes, "Tacky. Totally tacky."
Gagging, Hope croaked as the pair slowly made their way down the hall, "What's is that? It smells like rotten dog shit."
"I think it's…" Tara crinkled her nose in disgust, "Haggis."
"Haggis?"
"Organ meat stuffed into a sheep stomach." Tara explained with as she tried in vain to hold her breath.
"Ewwww…" Both Hope and Tara groaned as they pinched their noses until safely clear of the foul odor.
After making their way down another corridor, the pair came to a locked door. "This is where he keeps his balls." Tara grinned. "I'll check the door for alarms and traps. You keep watch."
"Right." Hope nodded her head as her blonde roommate carefully examined the door and the area around it.
"Pressure plate." Tara cautioned, marking the spot. "Keypad entry. Hand me that keypad decoder."
"Here you go." Hope said as she handed the device to her partner who then connected it to the lock.
"And…" Tara grinned as the device did its work, displaying the numbers in the code. "We're in!"
Entering Killigan's treasure room, both girls' eyes lit up as they spied the golden golf balls in their display cases. After checking the cases and determining that there were no hidden alarms or traps, Tara opened them. "All right, luv. Time to grab our balls and go home."
"On it." Hope grinned as she scooped up the balls in the display case closest to her into her pack while Tara did the same to the ones in the case nearest her. "Let's get out of here."
However, as they exited, they didn't see the tiny golf tee that, previously depressed, had popped up once they exited the room. At that moment, the deafening sound of bagpipes playing loud and out of tune filled the air.
"Goddammit!" Tara cursed as the pair ran down the hall, "I hate bagpipes!"
"What's that sound?" Hope, hearing a loud yipping noise, called out. Then, turning her head, she pointed, "I don't fucking believe it!"
Her eyes widening, Tara shouted, barely making herself heard through the din of bagpipes and yapping, "No…No…Can't be! They're…robo-Scottish terriers!"
"With collars that have flashing red lights and make beeping noises!" Hope screamed. "That can't be good."
"RUNAWAY!"
"Hurry up!" Tara urged as they dashed up the stairs. "The little ankle-biters are gaining on us.'
"Yipyipyipyipyipyip…"
"I hate little dogs!" Hope growled as the bagpipes wailed and the robo-Scotties yipped.
"Almost there, luv!" Tara gasped as the pair reached the hatch to the tower roof. Exiting, they slammed the hatch closed as Tara pressed the button on her Kimmunicator to summon the hoverjet. "Come on…come on!" She breathed as Hope turned her towards the rampart where another group of robo-Scotties, yipping and yapping, were rapidly closing on their position.
Just as it looked like the mechanical pooches were about to reach them, the GJ hoverjet arrived and lowered two ropes. "You two need a lift?" Janet called down with a laugh.
"Thanks!" Tara called back as she and her teammate each grabbed on to their ropes and the hoverjet lifted. Moments later, the pair were back safe and sound in the jet.
"So…" Scott grinned from the pilot's seat, "Did you get what you came for?"
"Consider Duff Killigan neutered." Hope grinned as both she and Tara held in the palms of their hands diamond studded golden golf balls.
"Back home?" Scott asked between bouts of laughter.
"Please and thank you." Tara sighed as she lit a cigarette. "Cheerleading practice tomorrow."
"Oh shit!" Hope moaned, "That means…"
"Round three of the Kim and Bonnie show." Tara sighed as she exhaled a plume of smoke.
Hope let out a breath, "Fuck me dead."
A few hours later—Duff Killigan returns to his lair
"Me balls! Me balls are gone!" The Scottish golfer cried out in anguish as he eyed the empty display cases in his treasure room. Then, watching the security camera footage which showed the catsuit wearing blonde and brunette girls running away with his jewels, Killigan ranted, "Shameless hussies!" He angrily waved his fists in the air, "Ye stole me balls!"
Middleton High
"So…what do you think?" Hope asked as she and Tara put on their new uniforms. "Old ones or new?"
"Hmmm…" Tara pondered the question for a moment, "The new ones aren't bad. I'll give Bonnie points for imagination. They're a good change of pace. What about you?"
"Yeah…" Hope nodded her head in agreement, "I guess they're okay. What about you Jess? Crys? Liz?"
"The new ones are okay." Jessica replied, "A bit too much orange maybe…but otherwise not too bad."
"I kinda like 'em." Crystal commented, "But then you know I like bright colors. What about you, Liz?"
"I'm not so sure." The other red-headed cheerleader remarked. "They're maybe a little too bright with my red hair."
"So…" Tara asked with a wicked grin, "How are things going with you and Kevin?"
Blushing slightly, Liz responded, "Not bad. He took me to a movie. You know…" Her lips turned up in a sweet smile, "It was kinda nice. He even opened the doors for me and held out the chair for me to sit down on when we went to dinner. None of my dates have ever done that. Even better, he wasn't all hands. And he could talk about more than just sports. I liked that."
"Told you that you'd like Kevin." Jessica smirked gleefully.
"Well, I had a good time with Jason Morgan." Marcella, still a prominent member of Bonnie's court, commented, smirking triumphantly at Hope, who had once gone out with the basketball star.
"Glad you two are having fun." Hope replied, her lips turned up in a predatory grin. "I found that he came up a little…short…for me…if you know what I mean. But…I think he'd be a perfect fit for you."
"Showtime, girls!" Jessica warned in a stage whisper as she pointed to Kim and Bonnie both preparing to do battle.
"Shall we sit back and watch the show?" Tara chuckled.
"Let's." Hope grinned as the two prima donnas crossed swords.
"You sold all that candy, Bonnie?" Kim exclaimed in disbelief.
"To quote a previous captain…" Bonnie sneered, "No big."
"I'm not 'previous' yet, Bon-Bon." Kim replied with a smirk of her own.
"Better suit up, Kim." Bonnie directed, "We're working on a new cheer."
"What new cheer?" Kim asked warily.
"Mine." Bonnie's lips turned up in an evil grin, "That's what giving 150% looks like."
"Careful, Bon-Bon…" Kim sneered, "I hear that when you hit 160% you spontaneously combust. Spying Tara and Hope watching, the redheaded cheerleader shrugged her shoulders, "Catch ya later, B. I gotta talk to Tara for a moment."
"Go ahead." Bonnie smirked, "While you girls are planning your next party, I'll be working on another new cheer."
Gritting her teeth, Kim drew closer to Tara and Hope. "Thanks for the advice on Big Daddy." Kim whispered, "It came in handy." Her face reddening, she passed on the fixer's message, "He also wanted me to tell you that he got hold of some Japanese erotic art that you might be interested in."
"He did?" Tara exclaimed, pleased. "He got the shunga prints I've been after? That's great! Thanks, Kimmie. I'll have to see about getting him to ship them to me." Her excitement dying down, she further inquired, "Did you get the information you needed?"
"Yeah." Kim nodded her head, "I just need a location for Duff Killigan…"
"Duff Killigan?" Tara exclaimed, "Why didn't you say that immediately. We've got the location of his castle. You have your Kimmunicator?"
"Yeah." Kim nodded her head as she took her device out.
"Great." Tara grinned, "I'll feed in the coordinates. And…there you are."
"Spankin'!" Kim exclaimed. "Thanks!"
"Anytime." Tara cautioned, "Oh…one other thing…watch out for his security system. That place is loaded with alarms and traps."
"Thanks a lot." Kim replied, "We'll be careful."
Exiting the gym, Kim joined Ron and Agent Du. "I've got a location."
As the GJ hoverjet appeared, Will Du smirked, "Standard equipment for all…top agents. Ladies first."
Team Possible—Duff Killigan's Castle
Approaching the castle in the GJ hoverjet, Agent Du remarked, "Killigan must have kidnapped Professor Green to aid in building a missile defense system."
"That's ridiculous!" Kim snorted derisively. "If Killigan had wanted to set up missile defenses, he'd have just bought a system on the black market. At least a half dozen governments are selling them under the table—including ours! Besides, Green hasn't had anything to do with weapons research since the sixties."
"Tara wasn't joking about those security systems." Ron commented as the team exited the hoverjet and Agent Du had sent it off to a safe location. "I'm surprised her and Hope got through and then got out again."
"She said to watch out for pressure plates and that anything golf related could be a trap." Kim reminded her companions.
"Mercenaries." Du sniffed pompously.
"Yeah, well…" Kim retorted, "…those two mercenaries got in here, got what they were looking for, and got out in one piece."
"Be nice for us to do the same." Ron quipped as the team made their way into the interior of the castle.
Deactivating a security grid, Kim cautioned, "Tara said to avoid going too near the kitchen unless we like the smell of haggis being cooked."
"Good idea." Ron agreed, "I don't think I want to smell boiling intestines and all." Approaching a door, the blond sidekick remarked, "Now that door has to lead to the dungeon."
As they made their way down the stairs, Kim turned to her best friend and quipped, "Good call…dungeon." Then, seeing the grass covered floor, her lips turned up in a triumphant grin, "That's why he wanted Professor Green and bought a ton of hyperactive acid."
"Professor Green invented some type of super grass!" Ron exclaimed as Kim noticed a man-sized pile of grass mumbling.
"Over here…I think we've found the professor!" Kim exclaimed, "But I can't get him out of this grass."
Taking Rufus out of his pocket, Ron grinned, "You know what to do, little guy."
"Mow the lawn." Rufus chattered as he went to work on the grass, easily cutting an opening for the professor to make his escape with a little help from Kim.
"Thank you." Professor Green trembled as he was freed from his grassy prison. "Killigan trapped me in my super grass."
"Super grass, Huh?" Kim grinned knowingly.
"Professor Green?" Du, speaking in an officious voice, interposed himself between Kim and the older man. "I'm Agent William Du from Global Justice. We need to debrief on any weapons secrets Killigan might have acquired from you."
"Weapons secrets?" Green chuckled, "All of my weapons research can be found online or in any decent public library."
"I told you, Twinky." Kim snorted, "It's the super grass. But…what would Killigan want with super grass?"
"Think about it, lassie!" A voice with a heavy Scottish accent called down from the top of the stairs.
"Duff Killigan!" Ron exclaimed.
"You want to cover the world in grass to make your own private golf course!" Kim deduced.
"And then I'm a gonna go after those hussies who stole me balls!" Killigan ranted.
"I get why you're mad." Ron answered back sympathetically as he gave a brief sideways glance at his best friend, "That happens to me all the time."
Quickly putting on an expressionless mask to hide her surprise, Kim thought to herself, Huh? What's that supposed to mean?
"Not those balls!" The angry Scotsman ranted, "Me golden golf balls! Yon hussies stole 'em from me while I was goin' after you! Ya bloody bampot!"
"Oh." Ron exclaimed as Killigan slammed the door shut.
"Come on!" Kim exhorted as she grabbed her best friend by the hand, "We've got to get out of here."
Reaching the door, Kim took out a cutting laser from her backpack. "Tara and Hope aren't the only ones who can pick locks." The young redhead grinned as she cut through the lock.
"Tara?" Professor Green queried, "This Tara wouldn't be Tara King by any chance?"
"You know Tara?" Kim exclaimed with a look of surprise on her face, "She goes to school with me!"
"Must be her grandmother then. Her name was Tara. Tara King." The professor replied, his lips turning up in a smile. "Dark hair…very pretty. I met her and the gentleman she was with at a party in London back in…1971? Or was it 1970? I remember she was very nice and her and the gentleman looked like they were very much in love." Shaking his head as his lips turned up in a warm smile, he reminisced, "It was a different time back then."
"Watch out for the…" Ron winced as Agent Du got conked in the head by a golf ball, "…forget it."
"Keep an eye on the professor and Twinky, Ron!" Kim called out to her friend as she grabbed a golf club from Killigan's coat of arms. "I'll take care of the crazy Scotsman!"
"You're good, lassie!" Killigan taunted as he parried Kim's lunge and then backpedaled from a well-executed riposte from the redheaded teen, "I'd stick around, but I cannae let the grass grow beneath me feet!'
"He's getting away!" Ron exclaimed as Agent Du finally recovered.
"We've got to get to the hoverjet!" The agent exclaimed as he dashed out of the castle and on to the grounds.
"Wait up!" Kim hollered, chasing after the agent with Ron and the Professor following close behind. "Remember what Tara said about traps!"
"Who cares what that blonde mercenary whore says!" Du responded as he and those with him found themselves in one of the mad Scotsman's traps.
"Quicksand." Ron shook his head. "We're in a sand trap. Figures."
"Way to go, Twinky." Kim grumbled.
"Okay…whenever you two are ready." Ron sighed in frustration.
"What are you talking about, Ron?" Kim asked in an irked tone.
"You and Du. You both have plans." Ron declared, "So go ahead and fight over who has the better plan and when the two of you come to a decision. Do it and get us outta here! Because…in case it's skipped both of your minds…WE'RE SINKING IN QUICKSAND!"
"Doesn't your hoverjet have some sort of remote control?" Kim asked Agent Du.
"Of course it does." The GJ agent replied. "The RCM…which is in the hoverjet."
"Of course." Kim sighed. "Wait a moment…" She smirked as she saw Rufus perched on Ron's shoulder, "Rufus won't sink in the quicksand."
"Yeah…yeah." Rufus chattered as he scurried on top of the moist sand.
"She shoots and she scores." Kim grinned smugly as the professional agent grudgingly conceded.
"Not bad…for an amateur."
As the hoverjet hovered over their location and automatically let down a safety line, Kim grabbed the rope and smirked, "Ladies first."
"Why must she always tweak me." Will complained.
"Maybe it's because you're easily tweakable." Ron answered as he grabbed hold of the line and was pulled up, soon to be followed by the professor and Agent Du.
"Professor?" Agent Du inquired as he took the controls of the hoverjet.
"Eyes on the road, Twinky!" Kim commanded as the jet sped off, leaving Killigan's Island far behind.
Tara and Hope—Middleton High
Taking advantage of the lunch break to take a walk on the campus grounds, Tara and Hope spotted Josh Mankey sitting on the library steps strumming idly on his guitar. "Want to put a bug in his ear about Kim?" Tara whispered as the pair approached the young man.
"Sure." Hope shrugged her shoulders, "Why not?"
Taking positions on either side of the slender artist, the pair sat down next to him. "That's new." Tara commented.
"Just a tune that's been in my head." Josh replied as he continued to strum, "It's still really rough."
"Not bad." Hope remarked, "So…how far along are you?"
"Not very." Josh admitted, "I'm having trouble with this bridge." He then strummed a chord. "Does that sound a little off to you?"
"Maybe a bit." Tara replied, "Have you tried a lower chord?"
"Might work." Mankey nodded his head, "Let's see if D works better." Nodding his head in satisfaction, his lips turned up in a smile, "Yeah…that's better. Thanks." Setting his guitar down, the youth inquired, "So…uhhhm…what can I do for you?"
"We just want to talk." Hope grinned, "You see…this friend of ours…she kinda thinks you're cute…"
"Ummm…" Josh stammered, "No offense…you're both very attractive girls, but ummm…"
"Not us, silly!" Tara chuckled, "I've got a boyfriend."
"And she lets me play with her boyfriend." Hope giggled.
"Oooookaaayyyy…" Josh drawled, "No judging here…"
"The girl we're talking about really is a friend of ours." Hope grinned, "You've seen her around. Pretty, popular, red hair, cheerleader, saves the world a lot…"
"You mean Kim?" Josh exclaimed with a surprised look on his face, "Kim Possible's interested in me!"
"Yeah, silly." Tara chuckled, "Why? You think that's unusual?"
"Yeah…no…I mean…" Josh stammered, "I thought she was going out with ummm…Ron…Ron Stoppable. They're always together and all…so I figured they had to be…"
"No." Tara shook her head, "They're not going out. But…" She qualified, "They do have a very unique relationship. One that anyone who goes out with her is going to have to take into account."
"They've known each other for a long time." Hope explained, "Really ever since pre-K and they're best friends."
"In a lot of ways closer than best friends." Tara further clarified, "But they're not going out with each other."
"Sounds complicated." Josh commented, "I'm not sure I want to…I mean I don't want to hurt either one of them."
"Okay…" Tara sighed, "First, do you think Kim's attractive?"
"Yes." Josh nodded his head, "Of course I do. What normal guy wouldn't."
"Right." Hope nodded her head, "Now…would you like to get to know her better…maybe go out on a date?"
"A date would be cool." Josh replied, "But I don't want to come between her and Ron or anything like that."
Tara fidgeted slightly as she spoke, "You're right in that Kim and Ron are something of a package deal. If you want to date Kim, you're going to have to accept that she's going to be spending a lot of time with Ron. Friday nights, for example. Those are generally what Kim calls Ron-time. She makes it a point to clear that time for him unless they're out on a mission or something like that. You're going to have deal with that. If you don't think you can and you want to send her a message that you're not interested without hurting her, then there are any number of girls here who'd be more than happy to hang on to your arm without any commitment. Pick one and make sure Kim sees you with her all the time for a while at least. Maybe take that girl to a game. Kim'll get the message."
"If you need help finding someone, I'm sure between me and Tara we can find someone for you." Hope offered.
"Yeah…it'll bring Kim down for a bit." Tara admitted, "But she'll recover pretty quick. On the other hand, if you're interested in her or think you might become interested in her, but you're worried about Ron feeling bad about the two of you going out, yeah, he might for a little while, but he's a big boy. He'll get used to it. Just don't rub it in his face."
"I wouldn't do anything like that." Josh declared. "He's a good guy from what I've seen and he catches enough crap from Bonnie and her gang, the jocks, and the bullies in D-wing. He doesn't need me or anyone else dumping on him as well."
"We're glad you think that way." Hope and Tara both smiled at the young man. "You won't have to worry about Ron being a third wheel or anything like that while you're out on a date with Kim. If nothing else, we'll find some way to keep him busy until he finds some girl of his own."
"The big thing with Kim…" Hope advised, "Is not to push her. You're her first real crush so she's a little shy and nervous…okay…" The dark-haired cheerleader laughed, "She's a lot shy and a lot nervous. Let her make the first move and be kinda understanding when she comes up to you and flubs up."
"And she will. Make a cockup of it that is!" Tara laughed.
"I think I can do that." Josh smiled.
"Great." Tara grinned as she placed a hand on one of the young man's shoulders while Hope placed her hand on the other, "And…one other thing. Like I said, both Kim and Ron are friends of ours. We wouldn't be very happy if either one of them got hurt…"
"And you wouldn't like it if we got unhappy." Hope further warned.
"Don't worry." Josh replied with a nervous gulp, "I won't do anything to hurt either one of them."
"Great!" Both girls replied with big smiles on their faces as they stood up. "Well…we better go now…catch ya later!"
Tara's apartment—Movie and Popcorn night after Killigan's defeat
"Better stick to one beer tonight, Kim." Tara advised as she opened a bottle of beer and handed it to her guest. "You don't want to come home falling down drunk."
"You're right…" Kim laughed as she took a swig from the bottle, "I don't feel like being grounded until I'm twenty-one. After this beer, I'll stick to cola."
"What about you, Ron?" Hope, wearing a tank top and shorts, asked as she filled her glass with white wine. "Wanna beer?"
"No thanks." The blond sidekick replied with a smile, "I'll settle for a coke."
"So what's playing?" Kim asked as she settled down on the couch next to her best friend and munched on some popcorn.
"Comedy." Tara, wearing a t-shirt and gym shorts replied as she settled down on the floor, lighting a cigarette as she rested her back on the couch. "Screech and the Facts of Life girls go to Summer Camp."
"Oh, I love that movie!" Ron exclaimed as he shoveled a big handful of popcorn in his mouth. "That's where the campers…"
"Spoilers, Ron!" Hope exclaimed as she gave him a playful rap on the head.
"So…" Tara asked, "How did it go with Twinky?"
Rolling her eyes, Kim took another swig from her beer before answering, "The little twerp wouldn't admit that maybe…just maybe…someone else other than him deserves some credit! That someone else is as good as him!"
"Kinda like Bonnie…" Tara winked as her guest squirmed in her seat.
Letting out a breath of air, Kim reluctantly conceded, "Yeah…you're right. She did a good job with the uniforms, selling the candy, and coming up with those new cheers. Okay…yah…she worked her ass off. You guys were right to vote for her to be captain. I've missed way too much time and have slacked off way too much. The team needs someone who can make all the practices."
"Kimmie…" Hope laughed, "We all know that Bonnie's gonna come begging for you take the job back inside of a month—tops."
Her lips turning up in a sly grin, Kim replied as she took another swig from her bottle. "Two weeks. There's a competition coming up. Getting everything together for that's gonna drive her up the wall. She'll pay me to take the job back."
"Kimmie…" Tara laughed as she exhaled a stream of smoke, "You are one cheeky bird."
"We do what we can." Kim giggled as the foursome settled down to watch the movie.
"I remember this scene!" Ron exclaimed, ducking as the girls began pelting him with popcorn. "This is where the blonde girl takes off her top and…"
"SHUT UP, RON!"