For those of you who ask, that last chapter was a troll chapter. NOT REAL. I repeat, NOT REAL. Sorry for that.

Minato was lounging around his house when Lee and company came in.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Minato." They greeted.

"So... When are we gonna celebrate your bachelor party?" Lee asked.

"Come on, guys, I already said I'm not going on a Bachelor Party..." Minato said, "Minako will flay me alive if I goof around this close to our wedding..."

"Hey, this is your last night of debauchery, my friend." Junpei said, "Like your final day to be at Heaven before you get thrown into Hell."

"I dunno guys, a Bachelor party sounds like a lot of work, and could get rough..." Minato said.

"You damned killjoy! What can be more fun that having a night of debauchery, having unprotected sex with a disease-infested stripper with low self esteem?" Lee cried.

"I'm not going." Minato said.

"Sigh..." Lee huffed, "Looks like we'll do it the hard way." He nodded to the others.

Suddenly, Quan blew a whistle and several men in black came out wearing ski masks.

"What the hell-" Minato cried, "Kenji, I know that's you!"

"It ain't me, fool!" The man who looked like Kenji said.

"What is this? Attack of the morons?" Minato cried, preparing to defend himself.

The men swarmed him, stuffed him into a potato sack, and someone tried to put duct tape on his mouth, but Minato bit the hand hard.

"YOWWWWWWWW!" A voice similar to his cousin's friend, Teddie, cried, "He bit me!"

"I told you to put the damn tape on his mouth!" Junpei's voice hissed.

"And I told you he bit me!" The voice hissed angrily. Suddenly, someone smacked him in the head with a cudgel as Minato remembered no more.

When Minato came to, he was sitting in the lobby of a function room, wearing a polo shirt with a jacket, slacks, and strangely, boxer shorts.

"What the...?" Minato sat up, head spinning from the blow. The hair on the back of his head was matted with dried blood, "Ow...!"

"Oh, good, you're up!" Lee said, clapping his hands, "Thought you'd be in a coma."

"It felt like a train hit me in the head." Minato said in pain.

"Heh, yeah, that's the last time we get Junpei to club you in the head." Quan chortled, "Damn, he winded up that bat like a pro. It's a miracle your skull didn't fracture like an egg."

"Yeah. I might have to eat soup for a month..." Minato said.

"Yup, you got a concussion, man." Lee said, "We didn't have any chloroform left."

"I'm surprised you fools didn't tie me up with a piece of mooring and gag me with duct tape..." Minato muttered.

"Oh, we did." Lee corrected, "That's why you're wearing the jacket, to hide your rope burns. And you needed a shave, so the duct tape thing was a happy accident." He winked.

"So, why am I wearing boxers!?" Minato cried, was ushered inside.

Minato entered the room. Inside were his friends from High school, namely Kenji, Kaz, Keisuke, Hayase, Hidetoshi and Suemitsu, his SEES team mates, Akihiko, Junpei, Lee and Quan and the group of his cousin Yu, who he had fought with a year after the events of the Astronomy Tower.

"Heh, you know, your cousin's friends chose a pretty swanky place to have a bachelor party." Kanji said to Yu, "Though, that damned guard wouldn't let me in until I shoved the invite to his face..."

"Yeah, it's not so bad. Unless you compare it to Junes, then it stinks." Teddie said, gently swilling a glass of Hennessy.

"Are you drinking whisky...?" Yosuke said suspiciously, "Bad idea, man. Remember, you threw up drinking soy milk."

"My dear Yosuke," Teddie said with a faux genteel voice, "It's not whisky; it's cognac, a much more refined brand of spirit. Note the strong, yet smooth bouquet, the rich, honey-brown color, and the general quality of the brandy."

"That's... really fancy." Kanji admitted.

"That is correct, my dear Kanji," Teddie said, sniffing the glass, "If I am to participate in the cultural phenomenon known as a Bachelor Party, then I must embrace all its components, such as tobacco, cursing and alcohol-" he sipped the cognac before spitting it out, "Ewwwww, yucky!"

"Pssst! Hey, there's children in here!" Yosuke said, laughing out loud.

Minato entered the room with Lee and Junpei.

"Hey! Minato!" Kenji said enthusiastically, "Nice to see you!"

"Thanks for coming Kenji." Minato said.

"No problem. It was either this or another night of doing household chores for Rio..." Kenji said, "Besides, you're my best friend bro! I wouldn't miss this."

"Wait a minute, Minato, I'm confused... I thought I was your best friend!" Junpei cried.

"Yeah, you are, but Kenji's my best friend too." Minato said.

"Oh." Junpei said mirthlessly, "I guess you're just about best friends with everybody."

"Junpei..."

"Talk to the goatee, buddy." Junpei said.

Everyone took a seat at the long table, and began to eat.

"All right, everyone... In honor of our dear friend, Minato, who is scheduled to marry Minako, let's have a few words for him." No one volunteered.

"No one? All right, as Minato's BEST friend-" he said, eyeballing Kenji, "I'll break the ice then..." Junpei, who had two glasses of wine and was clearly buzzed, said, "This may shock you all, but... When I first came into Gekkoukan High... Even though I was the greatest looking guy on campus, with the coolest haircut and a rockin' goatee... I had no real friends."

"Gee, I wonder why." Lee rolled his eyes.

"For an entire year, I had to wade endlessly into a sea of people, until Minato came along." Junpei said, grabbing Minato, "This man... became my WHOLE WORLD!" Junpei cried so loudly, everyone sat up straight, "I mean, sure, we've had our ups and downs, like the time he stole the spotlight, or when I lashed out because he was made a leader and I wasn't or when he let that thug punch me in the gut-"

"... would've paid to see that..." Kenji whispered to Kaz.

"-But in truth... I love Minato!" Junpei cried.

"What the fuck...?" Minato cried, recoiling in shock.

"Like a brother!" Junpei finished.

"Oh, brother." Lee rolled his eyes.

Then, another guy stood up.

"First of all, Minato, I'm so glad you've become a better person you were. I mean, from the start of you moving here to Iwatodai, thus setting off a chain of events that would culminate with your death, you've transformed from a quiet, broody boy to an inspiring, confident young man. You've changed your life, and those around you, for the better. From Kenji's romance woes, to Kaz's debilitating injury, and even to Suemitsue's weird cult problems-"

"It was a fan club!' Suemitsue protested.

"-you not only resolved problems, but managed to turn their situations around. Even after the events of Tartarus, you managed another year of it all, laughing, crying, and suffering with your friends. You saw the real world, you wore women's clothing-"

"Oh...?" Quan said breathlessly.

"You've made new friends-" he pointed to Quan, Lee and Yu's gang, "Fell in love." He winked as Minato blushed, "My point is... You've taken life's greatest beating with a smile, and returned it with passion, you've

mastered Life, overcame Death and obtained Resurrection.

"Wait, who is this guy?" Kenji said, "Is he with your group, Yu?"

"No, I've never seen this guy before." Yu said.

"Yeah, who are you? Do we even know who you are?" Junpei said.

"N-No, but I got a lot of feelings bottled up..." He said.

"Ok... Just go home, buddy."

The strange man was hard to deCipher. Ponderously, he went Outside and Disappeared.

"That was weird." Kenji said.

Hidetoshi took a small sip of his wine and stood up, "Minato. When last we met, you were out fighting in the streets of Iwatodai, wading across a sea of darkness and death. Now, you're the CEO of your own company, as well as an upstanding man. I always knew you were destined for greatness." Hidetoshi said, raising his glass.

Everyone followed.

"Thank you, Hidetoshi-san," Minato said.

"Hey, is it true you own a Real Estate Agency now?" Sumitsue said while chomping on a lamb haunch.

"Yes, I am the co-founder of Odagiri and Co Real Estate Agency." Hidetoshi said matter of factly, "We've been in operation for a few years now."

"He's being modest." Keisuke said, "Hidetoshi's clients are both foreign and local."

"Heh. Maybe you can hook Junpei up." Quan said, "I heard he's hit a dead end in his company."

"I could probably fix him up-" Hidetoshi began before he noticed Junpei sniggering.

"Something funny, Junpei?" Hidetoshi said.

"It's nothing, I assure you." Junpei said.

"Okay, if you have something to say, say it." Hidetoshi said.

"Well, you have your job, and I have mine. You're is okay and all, but my job is a little bit more serious-"

"I heard they demoted you to the mailroom." Kenji said.

"And that is not true! I was reinstated shortly after that." Junpei said.

"My company is internationally acclaimed." Hidetoshi said, slightly irritated at Junpei.

"Tch, yeah, you really helped your company around. The houses you sell have been around for, what, a hundred years or so?" Junpei said.

Hidetoshi's face cracked a smile, "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't say this, but my company has an opening for a manager and we could use someone like you."

"Seriously?" Junpei said.

"Nah, you'd get eaten alive at my firm." Hidetoshi said.

Everyone was silent.

"Savage."

"Apply cold water into the burned area." Someone whispered.

"And you know what, Hidetoshi? I don't like you." Junpei said.

"And I don't like you either." Hidetoshi said.

Junpei and Hidetoshi locked their gaze at one another in one second, and in another, they were at each other's throats and all hell broke loose.

Kaz grabbed Hayaze and slammed him down on the pavement, as the latter twisted Kaz's knee, causing him to fall with a cry. Kenji threw a steak at Suemitsu, who caught it with his mouth and ate it all. Teddie, in a drunken stupor, took Keisuke and Kenji down with a swipe of his bear claws, but Lee managed to subdue Teddie by tackling him through a column, but Kanji knocked Lee down with a punch. Quan avenged him by smashing a wine bottle at the young thug's head, knocking him out.

"Don't mess with the best!" Quan cried.

"Nice assist, Quan." Lee huffed, "Phew, I'm getting too old for this shit..."

Yosuke grabbed two forks and spun around in a vortex, but Kenji tripped Yosuke, causing Yosuke to sputter out.

BANG!

A loud, resounding gunshot brought everyone back to their senses.

Yu held Naoto's smoking gun, "Everyone CALM DOWN! The next idiot who moves, I'll blow their testicles off!"

"That's my line..." Lee muttered, unamused, shifting his weight.

BANG!

A shot caused a wine bottle to explode next to Lee.

"I mean it, Blondey!"

"Thank you, cousin," Minato said, "Everyone! Take a seat and let's work out our problems like adults."

Everyone looked at each other and sat down. Lee grabbed a bottle of whisky and swigged it while nursing a bruise.

"Alright. We're all friends here. We're all adults. Instead of beating the crap out of each other, why don't we talk about it instead? Starting with Kaz."

Kaz looked surprised. Then nodded, "Okay. My name is Kazushi Miyamoto. I'm a Pro-Kendo player."

"Hello Kaz." Everyone repeated.

"Y'know, Mamoru Hayase? You've been really getting on my nerves ever since I switched teams, and Minato agrees with me!"

"Is that true, Minato?" Hayase said, looking at Minato.

"Don't drag me into this, man, I've got a wedding in a few days." Minato said.

Quan stood up.

"Hello, my name is Kenji Tomochika."

"Hello Kenji."

"Um... Suemitsu... I didn't appreciate how you ate up all the Hagakure's Ramen that one time. You could've left me some!"

"I was hungry!" Suemitsu protested.

Then, things got spicier when Yosuke came up.

"I've been here for five months now. There are a lot of pretty girls here yet Quan... Quan... you always cockblock me! You've got a good looking girlfriend, and still you refuse to let me have a romantic relationship, I mean how selfish can you be?!" He cried.

"Hey man, don't blame me! Blame yourself." Quan said, "Gingers should stay with Gingers, and I'm just looking out for our race, man, we're gradually becoming extinct."

"Alright, scratch that idea." Minato said, "I want everyone to stand in front, and apologize to anyone you may or may not have offended. After that, we sprinkle some wine on them to signify that all is forgiven. Questions?"

"Uh, yeah, why do we have to do this?" Lee asked.

"Uh, yeah. You kinda DO have to DO this since you wrecked my bachelor party." Minato said.

"Okay," Lee said, defeated, "I'll start: Nozomi Suemitsu!" Lee cried, pointing at Nozomi Suemitsu.

"Yes?" He said nervously.

"I don't hate you because you're fat." Lee began.

Suemitsu smiled.

"You're fat because I hate you!" Lee spat.

Minato nodded, "So far, so good."

Everyone dipped their fingers in wine and sprinkled it at Lee.

Kaz stood up, "Kenji... I'm sorry I spread that rumor that you were the one who took a crap on the teacher's lounge."

"I knew it! So it was you, you little rat!" Kenji cried.

"All is forgiven," Minato said, sprinkling Kaz with wine.

Junpei stepped up, "I'm not here to apologize; Hidetoshi," Junpei said, "I didn't appreciate how you cheated your way past that student council election.

Hidetoshi seemed genuinely surprised, "That election? Is that what this was all about? That was years ago!"

"It still pisses me off!" Junpei cried, "I'm done with you. I ain't talking to you again!"

"Are you kidding me? This again?!" Kaz cried.

"Come on, man, forget about your fight with Hidetoshi. It's been years already!" Kenji cried.

"Kenji, I'll be frank with you, man..." Junpei seethed, "My fight with Hidetoshi will never be resolved! No way in hell!"

"Dude, all we want is for your problem with Hidetoshi to be over with..." Minato explained.

"There wouldn't BE any problem if that jumped-up greaser didn't cheat me in that election!" Junpei cried.

"I'm right here!" Hidetoshi said.

"Junpei, I keep telling you! Hidetoshi had more than 80% of the votes! There's no way you could have won!" Kenji cried.

"Exactly, man. That snake cheated! I had a school parade, a speech and even a kissing booth by yours truly set up!" Junpei cried.

"Dude, the kissing booth alone would have driven your voters away!" Kenji cried.

"And your speech was mainly about making Bikini-Friday a thing. Not to mention you'd require every guy to get their hair buzzed and grow a goatee! What's up with that?" Kaz cried.

Junpei sulked.

"Okay, fine." Hidetoshi said, "For what it's worth, I'm sorry I bested you in that election. You were a fair adversary and I would've lost had I not improved my platform." He said mirthlessly.

Junpei then smiled, "I knew you cheated!"

"Are we fair now?" Hidetoshi said.

"I suppose." Junpei said, shaking Hidetoshi's hand.

"Well, it's past midnight and we still have lots of things to do..." Minato said.

"But wait, I still have a few things I want to say..." Teddie protested.

"Save it for some other time, then." Minato said, "Argh... My damn bachelor party turned into a grudge session!"

And with that, the Bachelor Party came to a close.

A/N: sorry for the impossibly long hiatus. Caught up with real life and wasn't able to write as much. A few lines here and there until this story formed. Hope you enjoyed and please review.