One week later – Los Angeles, CA.
„Alright Sailor, it's been a week of L.A., I think we've done pretty much everything except hike up to the Hollywood sign. What do you say we do that today and figure out where we wanna go next?"
"Sounds like a plan, Rollins. I guess the cleaning staff here will be pretty happy about us finally leaving the room for more than an hour" he chuckled.
An hour later they found themselves at the beginning of Brush Canyon Trail. "You ready?" Catherine asked as he saw Steve's skeptical look at the sign that said "6,4 Miles round trip with 1,050 feet of elevation change". "Yeah, I guess so" he answered not very convincing. When Catherine shot him a questioning look he continued "I don't know Cath, do you really wanna do 6,4 miles when there's a chance you could be pregnant?"
Catherine rolled her eyes at his comment "I'm not, Steve. Relax. If you're already like this when I'm not, I can't even imagine how you're gonna act when I do get pregnant" she said lightly with a smile on her face as she gave him a wink.
"I just wanna make sure you're okay, you know?" he said quietly, making sure by his tone that she knew he was serious "I know, Sailor. Thank you. But I promise you I'm fine, and I'm not pregnant. Usually things like that don't happen that quick, you know that, right?" when he nodded she felt the need to continue "I just don't want you to get your hopes up about it happening any time soon or you know… not at all. You can't really plan these things" she continued as she started walking ahead of him, motioning for them to start the hike.
"I know, I know. You know what's funny? Two weeks ago I was in Hawaii, unsure of where my life was headed and where to go from where I was and now here I am, with you… talking about having babies… it feels surreal, Cath" he said as he moved his hand to hold hers. When she turned to look at him, he gave her a warm smile, followed by a peck on her lips. "Surreal as in good or surreal as in too soon?" she questioned with a smirk, trying not to make this question sound as serious as she meant it. "How long have you been holding on to that question?" he laughed a little "What do you mean?" "I know your poker face, Rollins. It hasn't changed in fifteen years. I know when you want to know the answer to something you've been afraid to ask" he winked at her, squeezing her hand a little tighter.
Catherine rolled her eyes at Steve "this you always just knowing what I'm thinking is pretty annoying you do know that, right?" she joked, followed by a laugh. When Steve didn't answer she knew that he was waiting for an answer to his question "I just… I don't know… uh, I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page here, you know?"
"What makes you think we're not?" he asked, wanting for her to continue. Steve was now walking right next to her, still holding her hand, as the trail was now wide enough for them to walk next to each other. "I don't know, it's just that we have never really talked about it. You know… having kids, starting over… I mean we haven't even talked about where we go from here. Like, where do you wanna live? Are we going back to Hawaii? Are we even going back to the same place? And if so, what then? Am I gonna rent an apartment like the old days? It freaks me out, Steve." She continued honestly "I mean all of sudden we're okay with having unprotected sex and I still have all these questions in my head and this is all very much new. We've never really talked big about the future, you know?" Catherine was indignant now and could feel it, fear of the unknown creeping in and all of her doubts and her second guessings coming to the surface. The things she was holding on to in the back of her mind for the past two weeks were all coming up now at the same time and she hated herself for throwing a million questions at him at once, but she just felt the need to blurt them out, now that she had the courage to do so. Maybe it was the trail and them being out and about that in case she needed to run, this was the place she could. Maybe it was the realization that things felt exactly like they did the last time they were together, back when he was ready to propose to her. Or maybe the possibility of finally having a baby with Steve brought up the need for clarity.
Steve could see that she was uncomfortable about having just laid out all her questions and could see a small tear dwell up in the corner of her eye. He knew that it wasn't a tear caused by sadness, but rather one that showed him how much this all meant to her.
He pulled at her arm, causing her to stop. Steve cupped her face in his hands and gave her a long kiss on the lips before looking her deep in her hazel eyes and a big smile forming on his lips.
"Let's sit" he decided as he motioned her towards the side of the trail, their feet dangling at an edge of the hill that was overlooking Los Angeles. They both sat there in silence for a few minutes, staring out at the skyline, until Steve took a deep breath to brace himself in order to answer her questions. He hadn't forgotten a single one of them but had been searching for the right words to make her feel at ease.
"Cath I am um… I'm sorry you have so many unanswered questions. I would really like to answer them, let you hear my side of this story and if you have any more once I'm done I want you to ask them all, okay? I don't want you holding back anything." She nodded in agreement without saying a word "Okay" he smiled before he continued "I wanna live in Hawaii. I want us to go back to O'ahu, to OUR place and I want you take up the right half of the closet and the two top drawers of the dresser by the bed. I want to go out to your favorite Sushi place on King's street on a Saturday night and have breakfast in bed with you on a Sunday morning. I want you to make me your grandmothers Ragú and for you to go swimming with Eddie and I in the morning." His smile grew wider and wider as he continued, while Catherine was looking at him in disbelief, unsure of what she was hearing was real right now. "I don't want you to rent an apartment, I want you home. I want to have ten kids with you… just one after the other after the other…" he winked "I want them to have your beautiful mind and look exactly like a mini version of you." He inhaled deeply as he starred out at the view before focusing on her eyes again "and I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanna make up for lost time, Cath. I'll cut down on my hours at 5-0 and…" he was interrupted by Catherine pulling him in for a passionate kiss "I want to marry you, too" she whispered between kisses, still in disbelief.
"holy crap, Steve." She led out a loud laugh as tears were rolling down her cheeks. "What the hell just happened?" she smiled from ear to ear, reaching one hand up to her face to wipe away the tears that were now flowing uncontrollably. "I can't believe you just said all that" she concluded. Steve laughed at her reaction with nothing but love in his eyes "Well…you're the one who was asking all the questions, Lieutenant. You do know that you only ask questions you wanna hear the answer to, right?" he chuckled. "That I do, Commander. I have to remember to ask questions more frequently if it makes you go all mushy on me like that" she winked, as she wiped away another tear.
Steve gave her another kiss on the lips, followed by another one. "Come on, let's finish this hike" he said as he stood up, reaching one arm out to help her up "I don't know… I'm a little weak in the knees" she smiled up at him "Oh yeah?" he laughed "come on, Rollins. Now I wanna hear your answers" he told her as he helped her up, leading her back on the trail as they continued to hike and Catherine told him all the things she dreamed of and how she was ready for two, or three kids, and maybe not ten.
They had been talking the entire hike – about feelings, about their future and about hopes and dreams, when they finally came to the conclusion that travelling was not their next step anymore. They were ready to go home. Their home.