"You gonna tell me what happened in the bullpen?" Gibbs asked a quiet Tony on their way to their destination.
"Nothing to say." Tony said sullen.
"You really want me to believe that? Something happened or else you would talk." Gibbs said
"I'm talking to you now or not!" Tony said frustrated.
"Oh yes I hear a real conversation. Tony you have been quiet from the moment we stepped in the car. So you beter tell me now." Gibbs said sternly.
Tony sighs. "Kate didn't believe me that Ducky said I was fine and then McGee also meddles with it."
Gibbs looked surprise. He didn't expect that. He thought they were joking about when Tony was a kid. Not this. "Why didn't they believe you?"
"Because if I was fine I would work immediately and not have waited a week longer."
"Why didn't you just told them the truth? You just need some more rest and we were going somewhere where you could get some." Gibbs didn't understand what the problem was.
Tony rolled his eyes frustrated. "Because if I say I needed some more rest they think I don't sleep enough. And if they think I don't sleep enough they think I got weird dreams and look at me if I am fragile or something!"
"Tony..."
Tony looked at him for the first time in their car ride. "Why did they have to know? Why did this happend to me? Just why?? I want it back like it used to be. I want..." Tony eyes begin to water but Tony quickly wiped them away.
Gibbs pulled the car over the side of the road. Gibbs turned to Tony and held him in his arms to Tony's surprise. "I can't answer why this happend to you Tony. But what I know is that they are just concerned. They were also frightened. Didn't know how to behave. They learned to look out for you. Not that they didn't do it before but they learned to read your body language, your expression."
"So I am an open book now?" Tony asked softly.
"You are never an open book Kiddo." Gibbs said and ruffles his hair.
Tony smiled at that. But the smile was also a bit of a relieve that he wasn't that transparent. Tony frowned again. Gibbs wanted to be his dad. He would look out for him.
"Gibbs?"
"Yeah kid?" Gibbs asked as he starts the car again.
"It's too much. I'm not used to it." Tony said and looked down ashamed.
Gibbs was silent for a moment. Thinking about what Tony said. "I know you are not used to it Tony. It takes time. This week it's just us. I will talk to the rest to get off your back a little alright."
Tony nodded and looked out of the window again. He then noticed the town they were driving through. "Why are we in Stillwater?" Tony asked confused.
Gibbs smiled and stopped the car. "Because my dad lives here remember."
Tony's eyes widened. "No no nonono why... we can't... I can't..."
Gibbs lays his hand on Tony's shoulder. "He knows you are an adult now. Nothing to worry about. And besides he told us to come back and see him soon again." Gibbs said and steppend out of the car. Tony immediately followed.
"Wait wait. We can't just... does he know?"
Gibbs gave Tony a headslap. "Of course he knows. Now get the bags. Dad said he would have lunch ready when we got here."
Tony sighs but took his bag and followed Gibbs to the house of his dad.
"Dad we are here!" Gibbs said when they stepped inside.
Jackson looked around the corner of the kitchen to see his son and grandson who were standing in the hallway.
"Leroy, Tony you are finally here!" Jackson said gave them both a hug. Jackson took a moment to look at Tony.
"Well you have grown, didn't you." Jackson said with a smile.
"Uhmm yeah." Tony said uncomfortable. "Uhm I would have brought something if I knew we would get here but your son didn't say where we were going."
Gibbs looked at him. "You don't have to buy anything."
"Leroy is right Tony. We are family. You are always welcome." Jackson said.
"Uhmm family? But I'm not.." Tony asked confused.
Jackson put two fingers under Tony's chin so he looked him in the eye. "Of course we are. You are my grandson. That didn't changed because you changed."
Tony looked at Gibbs uncomfortable. Gibbs then remembered what Tony said in the car. He was not used to it. "Hey dad is lunch ready. I'm hungry."
"Didn't you eat breakfast Leroy? I told you a couple of times that just coffee is not breakfast. Come on lunch is in the kitchen."
Gibbs rolled his eyes but followed his dad.
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After lunch Gibbs went to the garage to work on some wood. Tony went to the living room to watch a movie. Well that was the plan but Jackson followed him and sat down besides him with a book. Tony looked confused at him.
"I want to show you something Tony. It's our family photo book."
"Oh uhmm sure."
Jackson opened the book and told him about the family history and photos of Gibbs when he was little. "You are blessed Jackson."
Jackson smiled a sad smile. "I know and now I got a grandson."
"Why are you calling me that? I mean I was little then. We pretend that we were a family. That Gibbs was my dad."
"You really believe that Tony?"
"What you mean? That was how it was."
Jackson shook his head sadly. "Son you are family. You better believe that. I never saw my son so happy again after they died. You gave the light that was in him back. He thinks of you as a son. Always did always had. The changing doesn't changed that. Why else would he still care for you this much and why would he bring you here so you could spend some time with me?"
Tony looked down. "I don't know. I'm not good with family. Don't know what to do. Was afraid to believe..."
Jackson lifts Tony's head so he looks him in the eye. "You better believe it, because we are not going anywhere." Jackson said and gave him a hug. Tony tensed up at first but soon relaxed.
"Thanks." Tony said softly.
Tony leans back again and yawned. "Tony can I ask you something?" Jackson asked concerned.
Tony looked at him confused. "Sure."
"Are you sleeping alright son? Do you still got those nightmares?"
"Why you asked?" Tony asked curiously. Afraid Gibbs said something.
"Well for one thing, you got bags under your eyes. Everyone can see that. The second thing you look and are tired."
Tony sighs. "I'm fine. Just confused sometimes. A lot happend that would make everyone tired." Tony said and looked at the tv. Indicated that he was done talking.
"I could sure believe that. Why don't you lie down for a moment? Take a nap for awhile." Jackson said as he stood up.
"That's not necessary. I think I will watch this movie." Jackson nodded and left him alone. He cleaned up the kitchen and decided to find his son.
"Don't know what to tell you dad. He said as much as he told me, also wouldn't take a nap during the day. Ducky gave me some sleeping pills if it was necessary."
"Why don't you give them then? He is deadly tired." Jackson asked.
Gibbs stopped at what he was doing and sighs. "Because he hasn't told me about his dreams. The pills could give him a negative effect or he could be trapped in a nightmare and can't get out of it."
"So as father what would you suggest you do?" Jackson asked with his hands on his hips.
"Dad he isn't little anymore. I can't do the same thing as when he was a kid."
"He is still a kid. Your kid. How old is he anyway? It's your job to teach him and discipline him when necessary."
Gibbs ran a hand over his face. "Fine I will try to get him to get a nap."
"Good. And remember you are the dad now. Just because he is back doesn't mean he can do what he wants or knows what is best for him."
"Yeah yeah dad I heard you. I will go now." Gibbs said and went to the living room. Tony was indeed tired. Trying hard to keep his eyes open.
"You can close them you know. Take my father's advice." Gibbs said kindly.
Tony sat straight up immediately and looked confused at Gibbs. "I'm watching a movie." He said stubborn.
Gibbs shook his head and sat beside him on the couch. "Cut the crap Tony. Enough is enough. Now tell me why don't you want to sleep?"
Tony crossed his arms angry and looked away. "You don't have to tell me when I need to go to bed anymore."
"Yeah well you are wrong about that. You are family and you are still my son. That never changed." Gibbs noticed he had Tony's attention back. Gibbs suddenly made a move that took Tony off guard. Gibbs held Tony is his arms and moved so that Tony's head laid on his chest. Tony tensed for a moment but after a minute he relaxed. Gibbs began to run his fingers through Tony's hair so Tony would calm completely. It took a couple of minutes but Tony finally closed his eyes and fell asleep.
Gibbs also relaxed and leans back on the couch. His father was right. He should have done something like this sooner. Tony could be stubborn and he knew that. Tony needed a dad in his life. Someone who could get him back in line.
"So he gave up the fight?" Jackson asked softly 30 minutes later as he gave Gibbs a cup of coffee. Gibbs thanked him. Jackson nodded and sat down in the chair next to the couch.
"Yeah. I thought this might work. When he was little and had those dreams he would fight also to sleep but he would sleep peacefully in my arms." Gibbs said softly.
"So we can determine that he still has those nightmares. He needs to talk Leroy."
"I know dad I know."
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"Tony wake up. Dinner is ready" Gibbs said as he woke Tony up.
Slowly Tony opened his eyes and looked around confused before he focused on Gibbs. "I slept?"
"Yep come on dad is waiting." Gibbs said as he ruffles Tony's hair. Tony followed him to the kitchen and soon they ate dinner.
"So what is the plan for tonight?" Jackson asked.
"I thought Tony and I could go the basketball court to play some one on one." Gibbs said.
Tony looked up in surprise. "You mean that. I mean there is one here?"
"Yeah I will show you after dinner."
——————————————-
Gibbs and Tony were on the basketball court for a hour. Tony was winning.
"You have to be faster if you want to win Gibbs" Tony said while laughing with the ball in his arms.
"I would be carful what you say Tony." Gibbs said with a smile and took the ball from Tony and made a shot.
"Hey that is cheating!" Tony said and took the ball back. They played for an other couple of minutes before Gibbs said he had to sit down because of his knee. Tony looked concerned but Gibbs assured him that he was fine. Tony nodded and shoots some hoops on his own.
Gibbs watched for a few minutes before he decided that now was the time to start the conversation. "Are you still dreaming about your father or of the changing too?
Tony was taken off guard and mist his shot. "Wha.. what?"
"The dreams. The reason you are not sleeping what are they about?"
"Why is everyone asking about that? Why not just leave alone." Tony said angry.
"Like I said before cut the crap Tony. This was the first time you slept peacefully since the changing isn't it?"
Tony didn't answer and shoots the ball angry in the hoop.
Gibbs sighs frustrated. Gibbs stood up and took the ball. "No one said it would be easy. No one said it was going to be easy. No one thinks less of you if you are not well or need some help. But please Tony talk to me. I can't help you if you don't talk to me son."
Tony was still angry and wouldn't look at him but at his last sentence Tony looked up. "You said please."
Gibbs looked confused. "Yes because I don't know what else to do. Ducky gave me pills to give to you."
"So why didn't you gave them to me? He didn't say anything to me about them." Tony asked curiously.
"They are sleeping pills. You wouldn't take them so Ducky gave them to me."
"But you didn't gave them. Normally you would hide my pills in my coffee or something but now you didn't why?" Tony asked confused.
"Because it will not help you Tony. They will let you sleep yes but they will not guaranteed that you will sleep peaceful. Son talk to me please."
Tony was pacing the basketball court and runs his hand through his hair a couple of times before he finally stopped and sat on a bench.
"The dreams are in between. The emotions in those dreams are strong. A lot of them are about my father." Tony said softly and looked down.
Gibbs sat down next to him and lay a hand on his shoulder. "Okay let's talk about them." Gibbs said kindly and Tony told him. It was an other hour when Tony told him everything.
"So we could try this. I will help you fall asleep and you will tell me when you have a nightmare and we talk it out alright. You can't hide them inside anymore okay?" Gibbs said and looked at him.
Tony nodded. "I will try."
Gibbs ruffles his hair with a smile. "Good."
They both stood up. It was time to go home. "Tony can I ask you an other question?" Gibbs asked on their way home.
"Uhmm sure."
"Why do you call me Gibbs? At home you called me dad and now you only call me Gibbs. Why? Did I do something that you are not comfortable anymore?"
"Oh uhmm. No.. I mean... I'm not sure... I don't know... I thought..." Tony stutters.
"Tony just say it."
"I thought calling you dad would keep my dreams alive as kid. I thought if I stop, it would stop..."
"But it didn't." Gibbs finished.
"No it didn't... and then I was not sure anymore... I don't know... it was then not now.."
"Tony you are always my son. I thought of you as a son before the change. Nothing changed now. I like it when you call me dad." Gibbs said and gave him a hug.
"I love it too." Tony said.
"Good so start calling me that again. And my father loves to be called grandpa again." Gibbs stopped Tony when he wanted to speak. "And at work I will just be boss. Alright. But not at home."
Tony nodded and smiled. "Okay dad."