Chapter: 13
Sound of Blunder
Dipper, Gideon and Ford were down in Ford's old bunker. "Thank you, for helping me upgrade these systems. Since Wendy took over protecting the town the cryonics have gotten more wear and tear over the years." Ford said.
"I just want to get this over with Grunkle Ford, being near the shapeshifter and Mr. Whathisface is bringing back some uncomfortable memories." Dipper said.
"Believe me I understand."
"Sixer! You got to see this!" It was Stan with Mabel and Pacifica. Stan handed Ford a newspaper.
Ford looked at the paper. "Glass Shard Beach is getting a new condo complex."
"And to build them they tore down the old zeppelin factory."
"Is that bad?" Gideon asked.
"That place was falling apart when the two of us were kids. But it was the site of one of our greatest adventures before we left home. We never did find out what exactly that creature was, but he would have killed us both."
Stan thought back. "We're just lucky those Canadian secret agents…"
"Pulled that wall on top of it." Mabel finished.
"Yes, how did you know about that Mabel?" Ford asked.
"Yeah we never told that story to anyone." Stan said.
Mabel looked nervous. "Um, you see…"
"Do we really need to hide it from them?" Pacifica asked.
The Pines brothers responded together. "Hide what?"
Dipper sighed. "What do you remember about those secret agents?"
Stan thought back to that time. "There were four of them. Two were women, one was a hot blonde, another was a brunette, there was a big jerk with white hair…"
Ford realized what was going on. "…and one of the men had brown hair and a coat like yours! It was you! All of you? But how?"
Mabel explained. "Well to understand we have to go back a very long time ago for you but not so long for us."
Five years ago,
"… and done." Mabel said as she lowered a crate with the power loader.
"Thanks," said a brown skinned alien with three legs. "These medical supplies will help a lot of my people, Planet Jergon thanks you."
Dipper held up his quan disk. "No problem. Now if you'll just pay us, we got another delivery to make in the Indaro system and we have to be there in five days."
Their client touched the disk. "Five days? You'll never make it time. It takes two weeks to get there from here.
"Not if we cut across the Klodik Expanse."
"You crazy?! Ships fly into that place and never come out!"
"There's a place like that on our home planet called the Bermuda Triangle. We faced weird stuff before and we're fine." Mabel said.
"But it is most likely space pirates, which we faced several times before too." Dipper said.
"It's your funeral."
While Mabel and Dipper got the Power Loader on board Pacifica and Gideon had come back with the jet bike. "Hey Honey, you got the nevba to juice?" Mabel asked.
Gideon sighed as he unloaded boxes from the bike. "Yes, but Vax came after us again. I had to throw a few grenades into his ship, so he won't be following us for a while."
"After so many failed attempts you'd think he would have given up by now." Pacifica said as she raised the jet bike to the ceiling.
"Out of all the bounty hunters that have gone after us he is the most persistent." Dipper said. "Ixcia prepare for departure."
"Where do you think Vax goes when he's not hunting us?" Mabel asked.
At that moment Vax entered a bar with wanted posters all over the walls most of them with big red X's painted on them. Tables all around were filled with bounty hunters. He walked up to the bartender who was a large woman who was red on the right side of her body and blue on the left and sat down. "Give me a Yabor Ale, wait make it a double."
"Trouble with the Pines family again Vax?" the bartender said as she poured him his drink.
"How you'd know?"
"Hon, there's not a bounty hunter who doesn't know. But don't feel bad, you'll get them next time."
"Which won't be for weeks with the damage they did to my ship! What if someone else gets them before I do?"
"I wouldn't worry about that. Most hunters have given up on getting them. Some say those four are uncatchable, rumor has it that Regent Duradis is going to double, maybe even triple the bounty on them. He might have to sell the Diamond Throne if he does that."
"All that matters is that I get my rep back!"
"Easier said than done Vax." A deep mechanical voice said. The whole bar turned to the door where a man Vax's size stood wearing black armor whose face was covered with an intimidating black helmet with red eyes. He made his way to Vax.
"It's Blackhole Willie!" one person said.
"I heard he took down a whole crew of space pirates by himself!" said another.
"No, it was a whole armada!" a third added.
"Willie it's been a while." Vax growled. "You got something to say?"
"You've been going after these guys for almost a decade! Face it Vax, you're washed up! A has been! Time to retire! Bounty Hunting is a young creature's game! I'll get this bounty and put you out to pasture for good!" Blackhole Willie said poking his finger in Vax's chest.
"You think it's that easy?" Vax pointed to the wall. "I got most of those bounties! I taught you everything you know punk! And as I told you before the first rule of bounty hunting is to never underestimate your quarry! The Pines have evaded every bounty hunter that came after them and the entire Imperium fleet!"
"There is only one reason all of them failed." Willie walked back to the door and turned to face Vax. "They weren't me."
Three days later the Ixcia was halfway through the Klodik Expanse. Things were fine until Dipper saw smoke coming out of the galley. He ran in to find Pacifica putting out the fire. "Sorry! I want to surprise you by making lunch."
"Pacifica you know you can't cook, the closest you ever got was waiting tables at the diner." Dipper kissed his wife's forehead to comfort her.
"I just thought maybe it would be different this time. Guess were having cold cuts now, green cold cuts made from a bug." Pacifica sighed. "Do you think we'll ever have normal food again?"
"Someday my flower, someday."
Then Ixcia shook. "We are under attack by an unknow vessel."
Dipper and Pacifica ran to the bridge with Gideon at the helm and Mabel shooting back at tactical. Outside was a black ship shaped like a spearhead. "Whoever this is their ship is fast! I've only got a few hits!" Mabel said.
"Unidentified ship this is the Ixcia. Why are you attacking us?" Dipper asked as he took navigation while Pacifica sat next to him.
Ixcia switched to display mode showing the helmet of Blackhole Willie. "I've come for the bounty on you."
"A new bounty hunter who thinks he can get rich off us." Gideon said.
"I'm not just anyone. I'm the most feared hunter this side of the galaxy, Blackhole Wille."
"Shields at 56%" Ixcia said.
"Let's just jump out of here!" Pacifica yelled before they were hit with something.
"Null Particle Missile, you're not jumping anytime soon. You're mine." Blackhole Willie closed the channel.
"Does his ship have a weak point?" Dipper asked.
"Scans show that all power is routed through this section of the dorsal side." Ixcia showed a diagram.
"I can make the shot! Giddy get us on top of him!" Mabel said.
"Right!" Gideon preformed an aileron role and Mabel hit the mark.
"Bullseye!" The enemy ship was sparking and came to a halt.
"Ixcia can you fix…" Dipper was asking when the ship shook again.
"A space-time anomaly has opened. We are being pulled in." Ixcia said. In front of both ships was a large, white swirling vortex.
"Guess we know what happened to those ships." Mabel said.
"Jump engines are still offline!" Pacifica yelled.
Gideon pulled back on the controls. "I can't pull out of it!"
"Everyone, hang on!" Dipper ordered and then as both ships were pulled inside the vortex there was a bright light and then everyone blacked out.
Blackhole Wille wasn't fairing much better when they came out. "Damage report!"
His ship's computer spoke. "Systems failing. Core breach is imminent."
"Status of target vessel."
"It has crashed on the planet below. It is intact but it's engines are still offline."
Wille moved to an air lock and got on a hoverboard. He flew out just as his ship exploded in the atmosphere. "I'll have to take their ship back. Watch out Pines, I'm not like Vax. Nothing stops me!" Willie flew to the last detected location near a small seaside town covered in the light of a single pale moon.
Sunlight shined into the bridge. "Is everyone okay?" Dipper asked.
"Mason you're hurt!" Pacifica said holding his face.
Dipper looked at his reflection on the screen. "It's just a bruise." It was on his forehead and covered his birthmark.
"What was that?" Gideon asked.
"It looked like a wormhole." Mabel explained. "For all we know we could be in a whole other dimension. Ixcia do you have any clue to where we are and are you okay?"
Ixcia answered. "My engines still remain inactive. Shields, cloak, and scanners are also offline. The hull is intact, but I am 65% submerged in water. I was able to take some readings before the scanners failed. Dimensional vibration is normal. This is the planet we are currently on." Ixcia shown an image of a very familiar planet and the whole crew began to laugh. "I do not understand, what is so humorous?"
"Ixcia that is Earth!" Pacifica said.
"We're home!" Mabel ran up to Pacifica and the start squealing like schoolgirls over their crushes while jumping up and down.
"Goodbye Imps! So long bounty hunters!" Gideon whooped.
Dipper took Pacifica's hand and began to dance. "No more algae bars for us! From now on its steak, chocolate, and…" Then they heard a light banging on the haul. "We're under attack!
"They must think we're invading aliens!" Gideon said. "Ixcia can we get out and talk to them?"
Ixcia answered. "We are in a small cove with high rock walls; I'll extend the gang plank from the starboard airlock."
Dipper went outside and found that that two boys were throwing rocks at the ship. "Hey mister! This your submarine? It looks so weird, I thought it might be an alien spaceship till you came out." One of them who wore glasses asked.
"It is mine but…"
The other boy interrupted. He looked a lot like the other one "So, you a Russian or something?"
"Mason is everything alright out there?" Pacifica asked.
"It's just a couple of kids!" Dipper said as the others came out.
"Mr. Mason, maybe we're getting off on the wrong foot here." The first boy extended his hand that had six fingers. "I'm Ford."
"And I'm Stan." The other said.
"We're the Pines twins!" they said together leaving the crew of the with their mouths hanging open.
"So, what's your name hot stuff?" Stan flirted looking at Pacifica.
Pacifica was very uncomfortable with this. "Um uh."
"This is …Elise." Dipper said. "My wife."
"Oh, lucky fella." Stan said.
Mabel realized why Dipper used Pacifica's middle name. "I'm Sarah and this is my husband Charlie and we're… secret agents! From…Canada, eh!"
Stan looked skeptical. "What kind of secret agent just says they're a secret agent?"
"Oh, you know us Canadians, we too polite not to fully introduce ourselves."
Stan shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, that makes sense."
"Ah!" Gideon yelled as a possum crawled out of his tank top holding Chugar's pendant in its mouth. He then grabbed the animal. "Give that back you vermin!"
"Leave Shanklin alone you jerk!" Stan yelled kicking Gideon in the shin.
"Why you…!"
"Honey!" Mabel scolded hoping to avoid destroying the space time continuum. "He's just a kid." Mabel then turned to Stan. "Still that pendant is very important, it was given to him by his dead friend."
"Eh, alright. Looks like it's not worth much anyway." Stan said throwing it to Gideon who put it back on.
Dipper knelt and pulled his young great uncles close. "Listen this is important to our mission. The fate of both our countries could be at stake. Does anyone else know we are here?"
"No. The people of this town don't go this far down the beach." Ford answered.
"Good now you must never tell anyone what you saw okay? What we do is dangerous, and I couldn't live with myself if…someone like you got hurt because of it."
"Alright." the twin boys said.
"Come on Sixer, we better get home. Pop will blow his top if were late for lunch." Stan said as the twins ran down the beach.
"I can't believe this!" Pacifica sobbed. "We've come all this way…"
"What is wrong?" Ixcia asked through the scantrix.
"Ixcia those boys are my and Mabel's great uncles! That wormhole threw us to our planet and back in time to the 1960's!" Dipper explained as they walked out to the nearby beach seeing the town.
"I don't know if our grandpa has even been born yet!" Mabel said.
"What do we do now?" Gideon asked. "Hide until after we were abducted? We'll be in our seventies by then!"
"We can't risk changing the past!" Dipper tried to think. "There has got to be a way to get back to our time!"
"I think I can help with that." The group turned to see a bald man standing by a boarded up cave fiddling with a watch, wearing a suit that changed from showing a desert with green sand, a forest with vines that had yellow flowers with blue spots, and the inside of a church before turning to a solid grey.
"Blendin Blandin?" Dipper and Mabel said at the same time.
"Darling is this the time traveler you told us about?" Pacifica asked.
Blendin then looked like he understood something. "Oh, so from your perspective we've met before, they told me that might happen as part of the Time Anomaly Removal Crew. It's best we avoid names for now."
Dipper whispered to Mabel. "It makes sense since he doesn't have the hair that we gave him, this is Blendin from before we met."
Gideon looked hopeful. "So, you can bring us back to the 21st century?"
"That's why I'm here. Once I bring you and all your equipment back the wormhole will be sealed. Just like all the others it pulled in."
Mabel smiled. "Great! All our gear is in our ship!"
"It's intact? What kind of ship is it?" Blendin sound worried.
"Ixcia is a Star Singer mark 3 cargo ship." Dipper explained.
"Oh no! Oh, time dang it!"
"What's wrong?"
Blendin pointed to his time travel tape measure. "I can't transport something that big! I mean could rewire your engine to my time machine, but I would need a big diamond to make it work!"
"Okay, Ixcia grant Blendin temporary crew status so he can begin the work on your engines. The four of us will go into town and find a diamond."
"Okay one crew man helping should be fine, then the five of you can go back to 2023."
"The five of us?" Pacifica asked. "But there are only four members of our crew."
"But two ships fell into the wormhole and one was destroyed."
Gideon looked pale. "Then that means Blackhole Willie is in this time too!"
"We can't leave an alien bounty hunter here!" Mabel said panicked. "What if while looking for us he shoots a hippie and an important scientist is never born!"
"Yeah, every important scientist is named things like Sunshine and Tree." Pacifica said sarcastically.
Dipper had a plan. "Blendin our ship is back there. Get her ready to take us and Wille out of here!"
"R…right!" Blendin left.
"We'll spilt up." Dipper continued. "Pacifica, Gideon you two look for our bounty hunter and keep your interactions with people to a bare minimum. Mabel and I will do the same while we get a diamond."
"Where in this little town do you think you'll find one?" Gideon asked.
"The family business."
A short time later Gideon and Pacifica were walking down a street not caring that some people were staring at them. "Doesn't it feel good to be among other humans again Gideon?" Pacifica said having shaken off the weirdness of being hit on by someone who was both too young and old for her.
"Yes, but it's too bad it's back in the days of the cold war." Gideon said.
"That's not a problem. Once we catch this Blackhole Willie we ask Blendin to take us back to the present but keep us here on earth."
"Then let's hunt the hunter."
What neither of them noticed was that Blackhole Willie was watching them from the rooftops but he only overheard what Gideon just said. "They are trying to get me; this is more interesting than I thought. I need to find a weakness and tip things in my favor. First, I need to find the other two." The bounty hunter leapt from rooftop to rooftop until he saw Dipper and Mabel standing in front of a store marked Pines Pawns. He adjusted controls to see and hear what was about to happen.
"You were right Dipper. Look at the size of that diamond necklace!" Mabel whispered pointing to the necklace with diamond the size of her palm in the store window.
Dipper held the scantrix under his coat. "Ixcia patch me through to Blendin. I'm scanning a diamond is this what he needs?" he whispered over the comm.
"Time jackpot!" Blendin yelled. "Do what you have to get it but don't change anything!" Dipper waited for the ringing in his ears to stop and then opened the door and he and Mabel went inside.
"Hey, it's those two from this morning!" Stan said.
Ford ran up to Dipper. "Mr. Mason!" he then whispered. "How is your mission going?"
"It might be over soon." Dipper said.
"Stanford, Stanly. Why don't you two go outside and play while your father talks business with these people?" Dipper and Mabel never met this woman, but they knew who she was. Caryn Pines their great grandmother and next to her was their great grandfather Filbrick Pines.
"Okay Mom!" The boys said running off.
"Be careful!" Mabel said.
"So, what can I do for you?" Filbrick asked.
"And how do you know our boys?" Caryn added.
"We met them this morning on the beach, delightful scamps!" Mabel said.
Dipper got to the matter at hand. "Yes, and it was surprise to find them here. We were wondering how much for that necklace."
"Let me speak frankly since that's the only way I speak, it's not for sale." Filbrick said crossing his arms.
"They why put it in the window?" Mabel asked.
"Attracts customers like you. So, you going to buy something else?"
"That necklace is the only thing we want, can't you part with it?" Dipper was close to begging.
"I'm holding it for a collector who's going to be here the day after tomorrow. Unless you can beat his offer of five hundred bucks then it stays."
"We'll…see about getting the money. Come on Sarah." When they stepped out of the shop Dipper groaned. "Five hundred dollars? There is no way we can make that kind of money in the sixties in just two days!"
"What do we do?" Mabel asked.
Dipper looked at the pawn shop. "No alarms, no camera, not even bars on the window, just a lock on the door. With our tech even if he locks it in a safe at night we can get in easy and all anyone would ever know is that it was stolen by a burglar."
"Bro-Bro I know Great Grandpa kicked Grunkle Stan out but you're talking about stealing from family!"
"I don't know if we have a choice Mabel! The longer we stay here the more likely it is we'll change history! But you're right that this is a family matter so we should talk about it with our family. In the meantime, we should join in the search for Willie or a moral dilemma could be the least of our worries."
"There's something else on your mind isn't there?"
"We switched places, Me and Grunkle Ford. When we explored that alien spaceship, he said that 'he wished his mind was where mine was at. When the confirmation of the existence of aliens still had that punch but now it's just meh'. I see them almost every day." Willie didn't hear what Dipper said, he had already left to enact his plan.
Stan and Ford were at the swings on the beach. "What do you think they're doing? Are they looking for Russian spies? Locating a sunken city? Stopping a mad scientist from taking over the world?" Ford asked.
"I don't know but all of those sound like the awesome adventures we're going to have someday!" Stan said.
Adventures? You two? Like you'd ever be anything more than losers!" a large boy with blonde hair said as he and his friends walked up.
"Beat it Crampelter!" Stan said to his bully.
Then Blackhole Willie dropped down from the sky behind Stan and Ford. "You two are coming with me."
"Oh yeah? And why would we do that trash can face?" Stan asked.
From Willie's back a small box popped up and he took aim at a large rock offshore. A mini rocket fired and blew it to pebbles making the bullies run away screaming for their mommies. "Now, come. Don't do anything stupid."
"Stanly! Run!" Ford said but as they turn the same box fired two darts and the boys were knocked out. When they woke up, they were in an old office and tied with rope to a support beam. Out a window to a large interior area Ford could see large swaths of canvas hanging from the ceiling. "This is the old zeppelin factory." He turned his head when his attacker came in through the door. "What do you want with us?"
"You? You're bait, I care nothing for you. But the people I'm hunting seem to care a great deal for having just met you. I can't see why though." Willie looked at Ford's hand while running a genetic scan. "A malformed freak." He then looked Stan in the eye. "Clearly limited intelligence."
"Hey! Call me dumb all you want no one gets to call my bro a freak!" Stan said kicking Willie in the shin.
"Ow! Fine just keeping talking!" Willie touched a few controls on his armor.
"So that's the problem, if we're going to get back to own time the we going to have to steal from mine and Dipper's great grandparents." Mabel explained. The four future Pines spent the whole day looking for Willie and now it was sunset, they met up in a nearby park.
"Mabel I'm sorry but I have to vote with Dipper on this." Gideon said. "Don't we hurt your family more by staying?"
"I agree." Pacifica added. "We don't belong here. We are so close to this long journey being over." Pacifica made a call over the comm. "Blendin would not having that five hundred dollars really change anything with what's going to happen?"
"Hang on," Blendin replied. "I can check." He tapped his watch a few times only to sound a buzzer. "Ugh, the historical super database is down again! Where's Time Tech Support when you need them?"
"So, we're doing it." Dipper said. Then all their communicators made a beeping sound which meant an incoming signal.
"Seeing the tech on this primitive planet only the four of you should be hearing this." Willie said.
"Willie!" Mabel frowned.
"I have some guests here."
"Shut yer yaps' you goon!" they heard Stan say.
"You're not going to get away with this!" Ford said.
"No!" the whole crew said.
"There is an abandoned structure in the western area of this settlement. You have one standard hour to come and face me, or these boys have no future." Willie cut off communications.
"You know it's an ambush." Gideon said as they began to run. "He's probably rigged the whole place with booby traps."
"We don't have a choice!" Dipper yelled. "Even if our great grandparents have our grandpa Sherman after losing their sons; Grunkle Stan was the only reason our parents sent Mabel and me to Gravity Falls instead of some summer camp!"
"We'll have never met or fallen love." Mabel almost cried at the thought.
Dipper continued. "And without Ford you would never have had the second journal Gideon you'd just be…"
"A jerk and fake psychic." Gideon finished.
"And without you two I'd still be a spoiled brat!" Pacifica said. "I'd probably would have been turned to wood and burned by that ghost!"
"And who knows what else could change!" Dipper said. "We got to save them! No matter the cost!"
They got to the factory after night fall and Pacifica looked it over with her visor. "I see them! They're on the upper floor! But something's interfering! I can see electronic signals but they're jumping around the place!"
"The scantrix is being jammed too!" Dipper said.
"There are only a few entrances." Mabel noted. "We'll go in and split up. No matter what happens we got to save Stan and Ford."
They went inside and it was dark with only moonlight obscured by light clouds to help them make anything out. Gideon turned a corner around some machinery. "Time for the game to begin." Willie said as he tapped some controls. Gideon found himself pined to a wall by net and he couldn't aim his weapon.
"Switching to night vison." Pacifica said running to help Gideon.
"See in the dark? I don't think so." Willie keyed in another command.
A bright flash of light shined in Pacifica's face. "My eyes!" She screamed. The next thing she knew some manacles bound her arms and legs knocking her down and making her drop he daggers.
In the office the Pines brothers heard the scream. "Those Canadian agents, they're in trouble!" Ford said.
"That goon's not looking." Stan shook his leg and his pet possum crawled out. "Come on Shanklin, chew these ropes and I get you a whole slice of pie." Shanklin went right to work.
Dipper and Mabel dodged preset lasers. Dipper tried to use his booster to fly to the office but his was hit. "Dipper! You okay?" Mabel asked worried.
"I'm fine it just hit my boosters. But I'm grounded." Dipper showed his sparking boots.
Blackhole Willie stood before them with his rocket launcher aimed at the twins. "I have to admit you two are lasting a lot longer than I thought. No wonder my mentor had such a hard time catching you, and here I thought his age was just catching up with him. But once I have your ship and get the bounty Vax never could I'll be known as the best in the Isoban galaxy!"
"That explains a lot." Mabel grumbled. "We've gone back in time! That bounty doesn't exist yet!"
"Time travel is impossible!"
Dipper tried a different tactic. "If you don't believe us fine, but you know those boys are the same species as us. You're on our home planet in forbidden space! Even if you had a quantum infuser for our ship if you try to collect that bounty then you'll be the one with a price on his head!"
"The Empress will pardon me if I deliver her most hated enemies to her."
Ford and Stan came behind Willie. "Those wires coming from that box look important." Ford whispered.
"The game is over." Willie got ready to fire.
Stan and Ford jumped on his back and pulled the wires causing the launcher to spark. "Wrong! It just went into overtime!" Stan said as they jumped off.
Willie tore his launcher off and threw it before it blew up. He then turned to see Dipper and Mabel were gone. "I had enough of you kids!" Three claws came out of the back of the bounty hunter's gloves. "I'm going to skin you alive!'
The brothers ran with Willie chasing them while from around a corner their older niece and nephew followed. "We got to stop him!" Dipper said.
Mabel had a confident look on her face. "Bro we've been worrying about them so much since they're kids, we've forgotten who they are. We take after them, and like us when they work together, they can do anything!"
Stan and Ford ran through some canvas only for Willie to slice it to pieces. "Get back here you pests!"
The pair ran up some stairs to some shaky scaffolding with an oil drum on it. Ford tried to tip it over. "We got to use this!"
"Got ya Poindexter!" Stan helped and they pushed it down the stairs.
Willie cut the drum in half. "Play time is over kids!" when he got on the scaffolding wobbled under his weight. The Pines brothers grabbed the railing and began to sake it, causing the whole thing to break and collapse making Willie fall. They grabbed a rope suspended from a pully and slid down. When they landed Blackhole Willie's helmet rolled to thier feet.
They saw that Willie was a skinny, black, mouse like alien with lots of warts and dripping fangs. "You are going to pay for that!" he said in his real squeaky voice. The boys began laughing not seeing the Dipper and Mabel circled around behind them to a nearby doorway. "Stop laughing! Willie demanded.
"It all makes sense!" Ford said as he laughed. "The suit, the weapons, the helmet changing your voice. You're hiding how big a sissy you are!"
"You're the grossest thing I ever saw too and saw I Mrs. Henderson throw up from the Ferris Wheel on the boardwalk!" Stan added.
Mabel however still saw how serious this still was. "Dipper we can't blast him, we might hit our grunkles!"
Dipper saw the crumbling brick wall right behind Willie. "Mabel your grappling hook!" he pointed to it, a beam above Stan and Ford, and the wall. Mable understood and fired.
"Nobody laughs at Blackhole Willie! Nobody!" Willie yelled ready to charge not seeing the hook latch on to the wall.
"The bad guys never learn, don't mess with the Mystery Twins!" Mabel said as she pulled.
Dipper pulled too using his gauntlet's increased strength. "Any of them!"
"What the…?" Willie felt the gravel of the wall land on his head before the whole thing came down burying him and a loose brick hit him in the face.
"Grappling hook!" Maple shouted.
"Cool! I want one!" Stan said.
Mabel ruffled his hair. "Someday kid."
"We did it!" Ford pointed to the knocked-out rodent.
Then the boys cheered. "Pines! Pines! Pines!"
"Is everyone all right?" Gideon asked.
"We all fine here." Dipper said. "What about you two?"
"I'll be seeing spots for days, but I'll be fine." Pacifica reported. "I managed to kick one of my knives to…Charlie, once he cut himself free, he picked the locks."
"What is he?" Ford asked pointing to Wille.
"Sorry but that's classified." Dipper said. "I think it would be best if you didn't tell your parents about what you saw under the mask."
Stan just shrugged "I don't think Pop or anybody else would believe us."
"Speaking of which, your parents must be worried sick!" Mabel said.
"Sarah, you and Mason should take them home." Gideon said and then picked up Willie. "Elise and I will handle him."
After Dipper and Mabel left with the boys Pacifica used the comm. "Ixcia send the jet bike to my location."
Stan and Ford came into the pawn shop first. "We're home." Ford said.
"My boys! I was so scared!" Caryn cried as she hugged her sons.
"What kind of monkey business did you two get into this time?!" Filbrick asked angerly. "That Crampelter boy said you were kidnapped by a masked man with explosives! We had to call the cops to form a search party!"
Stan tried to explain. "It's okay Pop, these Canadian agents saved us! Well we saved each other."
"It's true Mr. Pines." Dipper said. "An enemy agent saw we were taking a liking to you sons and he took them hostage to force a confrontation."
"We couldn't let them be hurt because us." Mabel added.
Filbrick stared hard at his great grandchildren. "You put yourselves in danger just to save two boys you only knew for one day?" Filbrick then had the smallest almost unnoticeable smile. "I'm impressed, and I'm not easily impressed. You saved my sons so; I can't believe I'm saying this, but you deserve some kind of reward."
"No, we couldn't…" Dipper tried to say.
"What Mason means is that normally we couldn't, but we need that diamond necklace to complete our mission." Mabel point to the jewel.
Filbrick sighed. "As much as I would like that five hundred bucks, if this can help you keep my family safe from the commies then it's yours."
He handed Dipper the diamond who put it in his pocket. "Thanks."
"Does this mean you leaving?" Ford asked.
Dipper thought about all the hardship and pain that were in these boys' future. "I am afraid so. But listen both of you, you may face hard times ahead, but I know you are going to do great things."
"You really think so?" Stan asked.
"I guarantee it!" Mabel said.
After some hugs and affectionate nogies Dipper and Mabel left "Goodbye!" the brothers said as they walked down the street.
Filbrick then told the boys. "Okay you two go upstairs and wash up. You missed dinner because of this so it's cold."
"Okay Pop!" the twins said as they ran upstairs.
"Filbrick that was the most generous I've seen you in a long time." Caryn said.
Filbrick scratched his head. "I can't really explain it Caryn. I just get this feeling like that guy and gal are, are…"
"I'm not a real psychic but I know what you mean, because I feel it too. They feel like they're part of the family."
As Dipper and Mabel walked down the beach Dipper sniffed. "Dipper, something's on your mind again." Mabel said.
Dipper sniffed again crying. "I can't help it. We've been lost in space for a long time, Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford are in their eighties now. They could have passed away already and that could be the last time we ever see them."
"We have to believe they are still waiting for us Dipper." Mabel placed her hand on her brother's shoulder as they got to the airlock. "Come on Bro, TIME to go home."
They went in and Dipper had already wiped away his tears. "Here you go Blendin, is everything ready?" Dipper tossed the necklace to Blendin who almost dropped it.
"Everything and one who shouldn't be in this time is on this ship, that hunter is locked in one of your spare rooms. I just got to plug this in and turn it on and everything will go to a few seconds after the wormhole was sealed in the last location they were historically at." Blendin said.
"Wait!" Pacifica said. "Could you make it so that we go back to 2023 but keep us here on earth?"
"We've been lost in space for ten years." Gideon explained. "It would mean a lot if you can bring us home."
Blendin began to sweat. "I, I, I, I, I, I…I can't! Even if it wasn't against the rules the way this is made is the only way we can get the Ixcia to the future. Anything else won't work!"
"But that means we'll still be stuck in the Isoban galaxy!" Pacifica began to cry.
"It's ok dear." Dipper pulled his wife close. "This adventure brought up a lot of feelings for me but one positive thing about it is that now I'm certain that it's not a matter of IF we get home but WHEN."
"Do it." Pacifica said.
Blendin put the diamond in a stand with the time tape on top with wires going to the engine room. Then he pulled back the tape. "Hang on to your time socks!" In a flash of light, the Ixcia disappeared.
Back at the bar on planet Jergon Vax was having another drink when Blackhole Willie appeared in a flash of light without his helmet above the floor and fell. His ear was also on fire which he quickly patted out. Vax looked amused. "Wait, don't tell me. The crew of the Ixcia weren't as easy to catch as you thought."
Willie got up and sat down next to Vax. "I don't want to talk about it. Just give me a Yabor Ale, make it a double, and ice, lots of ice."
"Yep those Pines can drive any man to drink."
Back on the Ixcia everything was back to what was normal for the Pines. "So Blendin where and when to next?" Mabel asked.
Blendin looked at a hologram from his watch. "I just got a new assignment. 2012, earth, a small town called Gravity Falls. There are a series of time anomalies I need to remove so this is goodbye. Maybe next time we meet I can learn your names." Blendin took his time tape and vanished.
Dipper realized what just happened. "Mabel, Blendin just left to meet you and me for the first time at the mystery fair!"
"Urgh! Time travel, it always gives me a headache!"
Everyone then felt their stomach rumble. "Golly we've so busy saving history none of us have eaten for over a day." Gideon said.
"Oh man!" Dipper slapped his bruised forehead. "Ow! There were two restaurants next to the pawn shop! I could have gotten us some waffles or hoagies!"
"I guess I'm making everyone cold cuts after all." Pacifica moaned.
Five years later,
They finished the story in Stan and Ford's house in Shady Meadows. "All this time we met the four of you before any of you were born!" Stan said dumbfounded.
Ford put the pieces together. "I read your entries in my journal about time travel, but I never thought I was part of any of that. It was very clever that you used your middle names, that combined with the bruise Dipper got and the fact the until you left no one hardly used his real name meant we never made the connection."
"We decided not to talk about what happened just in case we ran into a race with time travel." Dipper said.
"Taking that diamond was actually a very good thing." Ford said, "He was going to invest that five hundred dollars in a buddy's business which went belly up in a month, you saved our family from bankruptcy.
Stan shook his head. "Didn't know what the guy was going sell until the big reveal. What was that guy thinking making beet flavored toothpaste?"
"Oh barf." Mabel said sticking her tongue out.
"One thing I am wondering about is why you sent Gideon back to your ship Sweetie." Stan asked.
The doorbell rang and Mabel smiled. "You're about to find out."
She opened the door and Gideon came in holding something behind his back. "It had about five years' worth of dust, but I got it clean." Gideon then pulled out Willie's helmet.
Pacifica explained. "When he was sent back to wherever he came from this was left behind. It's been in a closet on Ixcia ever since."
"I thought you two would like it as a souvenir." Mabel said.
"A reminder for all of us that the true bonds of family go beyond time and space." Dipper added.
"This is great, and it looks like the circuitry still works!" Ford said. "Don't you think so Stanly?"
"It's perfect! Halloween is just a couple months away. This is just the thing for…" Stan grabbed the helmet and put it on. "…Stan Pines! Master of Fight!" Stan said in the deep voice the helmet made.
"Good old Grunkle Stan." Mabel said as everyone began to laugh.