"Why?" Silvermist demanded, sounding a little impatient.
Feathersong swallowed. She had known that excuse wouldn't hold for long and the walls had come down. It would be best to tell the truth. But she couldn't. "It's private.." It was a lame response but the best that she could think of.
"I just want to know because I care." Silvermist meowed, a little softer. Feathersong wanted to tell her so much, but she couldn't.
"Then if you cared, then why can't you leave me alone!" Feathersong snapped suddenly. She had come here to try get away from the drama, the worries, the memories. Yet now everyone had decided to just bombard her with awkward questions. Well, just her siblings and Silvermist, but it felt like more.
A flash of hurt danced across Silvermist's eyes before she managed to control it. "I just want to help you!"
"Please..Just leave me alone." She muttered, eyes averted to the ground. Feathersong was aware of this being a clumsy coverup, but she would rather leap off of the cliff than tell Silvermist the real reason. Partly, it was her mother, but it was more than that. What Feathersong had told was only half of the story. The rest she had shoved to the back of her mind as she struggled to forget. It never worked.
"Not until you tell me why." Silvermist sat, stubbornly. Feathersong knew that she'd hurt the she-cat and though she hid it well with everything, there was a faint hint of it. Hardly noticeable. She was probably surprised since she silver tabby rarely snapped and she was known to be submissive and quiet. More and more, this new Feathersong had replaced her, filling her with hostility and anger.
Some time went by before Feathersong finally spoke. It was obvious that Silvermist had meant her words and she just wanted the other she-cat to be gone. "I..I don't know how to explain it." She admitted quietly. She had tried to tell her, but the words refused to come out.
"I have all day." Silvermist calmly replied.
Feathersong's tail twitched with a mild irritation. She just wanted to be alone for once, to think about what Nightstar had said and maybe ask Puffrost to help her train. Since she wanted to be a warrior and actually help. "Why do you even care, anyway?" It came out ruder than she'd meant it to be but didn't bother apologising.
"Because we're friends."
That hit Feathersong like a ton of bricks. She'd liked Silvermist but friends!? She had never thought that she'd be any good for Silvermist. After all, they were complete opposites. "Can I tell you later?" She asked, a little nervously.
Emberblaze replied instantly, his voice muffled from his quiet sobs, "I'll never leave you."
Rainshine seemed a little comforted by that, "I'm sorry for your loss." She murmered kindly, after a while.
"Why did she have to leave!" He burst out suddenly, anger mixing with his bountiful sorrow. "Why didn't she tell me!? When we were kits, we all made a pact to never keep secrets or tell lies." He let out a sarcastic laugh, "Look what happened. Feathersong te-told more lies than truths, and now Dappledleaf silently suffered without mentioning a thing."
Rainshine's reply was drowned out by the memories, surging through his mind.
"We'll never tell a single lie or secret!" Dappledkit meowed confidently. "Now you guys must say it or it won't work."
"We'll never tell a single lie or secret." Featherkit sounded a little less certain, "But what if it's a good secret?"
"Like what?" Dappledkit asked.
"Like, uh, if we saved a mouse for mother! And she asked us if we were up to something, could we tell a lie?"
"Good lies and secrets are allowed!" Dappledkit decided. "Now, Emberkit you must say it!"
"We'll never tell a single..secret or lie?" He temporarily forgot the last words but thought of them just in time.
"Good enough!" Dappledkit praised him.
Featherpaw burst in, tears dripping from her silver fur.
Dappledpaw and Emberpaw broke off their conversation about prey and turned to look at her.
"Featherpaw, what's wrong!?" Dappledpaw raced to comfort her sister.
Emberpaw realised that Mother wasn't with them. Featherpaw had taken a walk with Mother, so where was she? "Where's Mother?"
"She's..dead!" Featherpaw sobbed.
Both Dappledpaw and Emberpaw blinked, not quite sure if they believed it.
Then Dappledpaw instantly burst into tears the two of them cried together. Emberpaw slinked out, hardly able to believe it.
But he believed it soon enough when the body was found.
"Why did they both have to go?" He muttered sorrowfully, not expecting a response.
The two eventually stayed silent, watching the sun rise.
His first day without Dappledleaf
Poor dear Emberblaze, it was now Rainshine's duty to comfort the tom. Emberblaze seems to be a little sorrowful, but he was handling loss really well. Rainshine caught Emberblaze a nice rabbit, but it all seemed to be drowned out of Emberblaze's sight as memories had engulfed him for the last few days. Rainshine was clueless on how to cheer him up, what if it had been him, Rainshine would have drowned in the shallow water of a river. Was this how he felt?
Emberblaze hadn't even considered suicide. After a few days, he broke out of his grief-stricken haze. Dappledleaf was gone and feeling sorry for himself wouldn't bring her back. He also had to look after Rainshine since she was battling her own mental demons.
Gradually, he began to notice something wrong with the calico she-cat. Her belly seemed rounder and she wasn't eating as much. Anxiously, he decided to ask her about it.
"Are you alright?"
Rainshine had walkout from the medicine den to find Emberblaze, who asked before she could talk, But she replied.
"I'm perfectly fine, in fact, I'm wonderful. I'm expecting kits, your kits!" Rainshine explained and Exclaimed, then was mauled by Emberblazes affectionate embrace, as he leant onto the new queen.
A purr rose up in Emberblaze's chest as he nuzzled his mate. He couldn't imagine anything better, especially with what was going on.
"That's great!" He purred. He felt the immense pride at being a father, but that brought on a little worry. Was he ready? He tried to push the fears out of his mind and concentrated on the positive.
Though something made him abruptly stop purring. A thought entered his mind, bringing in new worries. Didn't queens sometimes die during kit-birth? Emberblaze had never witnessed it but he knew that it was possible.
"Are you alright?" Rainshine noticed Emberblaze tense suddenly.
"I'm a bit worried," He admitted, "I don't want you to die during the kit-birth."
"I'll be fine." Rainshine promised. Emberblaze felt mildly comforted and started wondering about the kits. How many could there be? Maybe just one or maybe six. He hoped for maybe three or four. That was a perfect number. Three would be the best. Like him, Feathersong and Dappledleaf. His heart ached when he thought about them, but not quite as much right now. The excitement of being a father took over and pushed his sisters out of his mind temporarily.
Rainshine was in the nursery now and Emberblaze missed her. The den felt emptier without his mate. After Dappledleaf died, it hadn't felt that empty because Rainshine was there. Now none of them were there and he realised how much he missed curling up with her.
He got up, deciding to go to where Dappledleaf had leapt. Maybe he would be able to sleep there, imaging that Dappledleaf was with him. It sounded stupid but he needed sleep. The sky was already lightening with early dawn and he was exhausted.
Though the last cat he expected to see there, curled up on the ledge, was Feathersong.
Why was she here? On SunClan's territory. Well, border, but she was still nearer SunClan camp that that other place.
"This is SunClan's territory." He managed to keep all of his surprise out of his voice, making it sound cool and almost annoyed.
Feathersong jumped, aising her head. Her face reflected the surprise that he had felt when he first noticed her. "I'll leave." She muttered, getting up.
She looked worse from when he'd last seen her. There was a shadow of grief hanging over her and she did seem thinner. Not noticeable to many but Emberblaze could tell. Did she know? Who even told her? Rumours and tales spread faster than he'd thought, it seemed. "Did someone tell you about..?" Emberblaze had never been tactful. If he had a question, he'd ask that question.
Feathersong nodded, "I'm sorry." Her voice cracked and Emberblaze felt a little pity for Feathersong. Despite the fact that she'd been self-caring and a drama-queen, Feathersong was still his sister. He still loved her and cared about her, deep down. It was obvious that she was taking this harder than Emberblaze had.
"Why are you apologising?" He asked after a moment of silence. She didn't need to apologise. Did she think that this was all her fault? Her response answered the question.
"I..I killed her."
In a way, Feathersong had killed Dappledleaf, Emberblaze realised. Yet, he felt no anger. She hadn't meant to. She was just..well..Emberblaze never knew what Feathersong was doing. But she obviously hadn't expected this.
He didn't want to say that it wasn't her fault, but he couldn't just agree with her. "You didn't mean to." Emberblaze answered, cautiously.
"I still did though!" Feathersong snapped suddenly, making Emberblaze jump. "I still killed her. Like I did with Mother." Then she stopped, realising that she'd said more than she'd meant to.
"Wait. You killed our mother?" His tone darkened, tinged with anger.
Feathersong didn't even bother defending herself. "Yes." A single tear dripped onto the ground but Emberblaze felt no pity, not anymore.
"You killed our mother and our sister?" He narrowed his eyes. All reasoning was gone. Feathersong had killed two cats that he had loved. "Why?"
"We were walking and this..this tree fell. I was right below it and she moved me out of the way." Feathersong sobbed. "She should've let me die."
He opened his jaws to say about how that wasn't true but she was gone. Fading in the early morning mist.
He didn't even bother chasing her. Instead, he just sat there, overlooking the hills. Wondering how Feathersong had coped with all of everything and wishing that she had told him sooner. He probably told Dappledleaf but what use was that? He always found things out later, even when they were kits. Now it was happening all over again.
He stayed there for time time, feeling the sun's rays warming his back. Then, at last, he returned back to check on Rainshine.
Rainshines ears perked as she notices the cautious light steps of Emberblaze. The tom looked over her, and Rainshine looked at her belly, then she reached up and licked his nose. Rainshine was grateful for his visit, the only company she had was Silvermist, but she wasn't much of a talker. Silvermists eyes radiated some sort of disgust, envy may be, whatever it was she couldn't place a paw on it. Rainshine wasn't the cat Silvermist had come to know... The one she knew was dead like the thought she had of Frozensplotch.
"You know your aloud to stay in the nursery right?" Rainshine whispered to Emberblaze who looked like he hadn't slept in moons.
"Really?"Emberblaze exclaimed although he was trying to keep his voice down.
Rainshine nodded, Emberblaze curled around Rainshine realizing how tiny she actually was. Just like old times they had the comfort of each other. On a night like tonight that was just what Emberblaze needed. To be surrounded by those he loved. Silverpelts light was as bright as the morning star, maybe Dappledleaf and his mother were looking down on them. Now, this was what family was like, even on a cold night your internally warm.
He felt slightly annoyed that he had lost so much sleep for nothing. Why hadn't he known that you could sleep with your mate?
Though he struggled to fall asleep, the normal thoughts of kits mixed with Feathersong. He couldn't stop thinking about her outburst, about how she has spent so long blaming and torturing herself over things that weren't her fault. If only he had found out earlier.
He managed to drift off after some time, catching up on his much-needed sleep.
Silvermist's claws dug into her mossy nest. Wolfshade had been bringing her food, but Silvermist wanted to be out hunting for herself. She didn't like laying around doing nothing, she only had Rainshine as company but they never got along that well. Emberbalze was always in the den when there wasn't anything to do. Which was apparently always.
I give up
Silvermist got out of her nest, she shook her pelt.
"Your going out?" Emberblaze asked.
"Yes."
"Wait, Queens don't have to stay in the nursery?"
"Nope."
Silvermist slipped out into the fresh air.
"Silvermist!"
SIlvermist suppresed a groan as she heard Wolfshade's commanding bark.
"What are you doing out here? Its freezing!"
To her the cold breeze felt good, it was better than being in the stuffy den watching Rainshine and Emberblaze stare into each others eyes.
"Are we sure that she is having kits?"
"She's so skinny!"
"I hope when I have kits I'll be as skinny as her!"
Silvermist closed her eyes as she heard the whispers of her clanmates. She was lean, and her fur was still glossy. According to their medicine cat, she was going to have kits, at least three if not more. Wolfshade woved his body around her protectively. After a moment, Silvermist shoved her mate away and headed towards the fresh-kill pile. She grabbed a large hare and brought it over to a small grassy patch. SIlvermist began eating and was soon joined by Wolfshade. Just then their medicine cat Feathereyes made her way towards them. Silvermist was impressed that that the blind cat could navigate camp, even neatly skirting by a puddle. Soon she reached them with a bundle of herbs in her mouth. She dropped them in front of Wolfshade.
"Make sure she eats them," She said.
Wolfshade cast a sideways glance at his mate who had narrow eyes. He turned back to the medicine cat, "What are they?"
"Burnet, chamomile, and honey. They burnet and chamomile will keep her strength up and the honey just to make the herbs taste better."
"How long until the kits are do?"
"Four moons at the least but maybe longer. Just make sure that she eats and gets plenty of sleep."
"Is she allowed out of the den?"
Silvermist hissed at Wolfshade, he was acting like she was going to die or something.
Feathereyes had an amused expression on her face, "Of course, Silvermist is a wild and spiritied she-cat, and something tells me that if we keep her in the den, she will not be happy."
Silvermist shot a smug look at her mate, "Told ya so. Now quit worrying."
Wolfshade ducked his head and nosed the herbs towards her. With a sigh, Silvermist licked them up, wincing at the bitter taste. The honey did little to conceal the taste. Feathereyes nodded her approval before picking up the other bundle of herbs and heading into the nursery.
Emberblaze noticed Feathereyes enter the den, some herbs in her mouth.
"Are those for Rainshine?" He asked.
"Yes. They will keep her strength up. The honey is just there to take away some of the bitterness."
Rainshine looked over at Feathereyes. She seemed reluctant but licked them up quickly. She wrinkled her nose at the bitterness, the honey only taking the edge off of the taste.
"Thank you." She dipped her head in approval and left, doing whatever medicine-cats did.
"They don't taste great then?" Emberblaze stifled a grin at the queen's disgusted expression.
"Nope." Rainshine responded, trying to rid the taste from her mouth.
"I'll get some prey to take away the taste." Emberblaze offered.
"Thank you."
"Want to come?" "No, thanks. My belly hurts a little."
Instantly, worry crossed Emberblaze's face. "You aren't giving birth yet, are you?" Rainshine laughed a little. "Not for some time, don't worry."
"Phew." Emberblaze shot one last concerned glance at his mate before picking up the fattest hare that he could see. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Wolfshade and Silvermist sharing a hare. He decided to just leave them alone. Silvermist wasn't the sweetest she-cat ever towards him and Rainshine. Well, her negative emotions were targeted at Rainshine but Emberblaze disliked her the same as he would if she treated him how she treated Rainshine.
He wondered how Feathersong managed to befriend Silvermist. The shyer she-cat rarely spoke or acknowledged anyone but her kin and yet, Silvermist and her had actually formed a friendship.
He shrugged it off, returning to Rainshine.
Silvermist slipped out of the nursery, careful not wake the sleeping cats near her. Emberblaze was curled around Rainshine and Wolfshade was sleeping in the nursery too. Wolfshade groaned then rolled over Silvermist looked at him with love and affection before padding away. The moon was high in the sky, casting pale light and dark shadows onto the ground. She made her way towards the Skyclan border, determined to talk to Feathersong. When she reached the outskirts of camp, Silvermist ducked behind a large bush.
"Feathersong!" she hissed.
There was no answer, she tried again.
"Feathersong!"
A head poked out of a den, Silvermist recognized the fimialr shape of Feathersong. Feathersong silently padded towards Silvermist.
"Silvermist? What are you doing?"
Silvermist glanced down at her stomach, "I wanted to see you. I'm expecting kits so I won't be able to see you anymore, until the kits are grown."
"So its true," Feathersong breathed, "Your expecting kits!"
Tears welled up in Feathersong's eyes, Silvermist's eyes watered too.
"You are my best friend, my real friend," Silvermist whispered.
"B..But all of those other cats. Your so popular! How could I be your only best friend?"
Silvermist scoffed, "All those other cats? You mean the toms who try to be my mate? Yeah they don't count as friends!"
Feathersong laughed.
"Silvermist?"
Sillvermist gasped at the fimialer voice that called her, it was a cat she hadn't seen since she was an apprentice. Silvermist turned around and came face to face to her mother.
"Is it really you?" Darkmist seemed hardly able to believe it. Feathersong looked at them nervously, wondering if she should give them space or what. She decided to watch from a distance.
"Mother?" Silvermist didn't seem quite so joyful. Mainly surprised. Feathersong couldn't tell if she was happy or not.
"You've grown so much!" The warrior exclaimed."
Feathersong looked at them for a bit longer before retreating to where she normally sat, the far corner of camp. She didn't want to watch Silvermist reunite with her mother. Part of her felt envy as the she looked at the two.
Silvermist still had her mother, whether she was pleased about it or not. She looked away from the pair, averting her gaze to the skies overhead. They were clear and she searched in vain for a star shining brighter than the others.
She saw no star that could be her mother. Her search was futile. It always had been since she died. Moons and moons of failure.
Yet she had always looked out upon a clear night, searching and searching desperately. Never giving up despite wanting to.
Maybe she could find Dappledleaf? She scanned the starry skies again, though she knew that it was pointless.
None of them were there. Maybe Mother and Dappledleaf deliberately hid from her view. Feathersong imagined them glaring down at her with clear hatred in their eyes. You killed us. They hissed. We would still be alive if it weren't for you. You killed us.
It took all of her willpower not to head for her cliff. Her sanctuary from the memories, the emotions she was forced to hide when others were near. The cliff wasn't safe anymore. Not since she encountered Emberblaze. Instead, she was forced to sit there, trying to block out the voices in her head. They only grew louder as she tried to block it all out.
You killed us.
She shook her head quickly, trying to rid her mind from the endless chanting. Though maybe she deserved to just sit there and accept the fact that she wasn't ever able to let go. It was her fault. She had to face up to it sooner or later. She had killed two cats who she loved so much and it was her fault. She deserved what she was given. She had tried to escape it all, flee from reality. She had tried so, so hard.
She was never going to be able to forgive herself. Never able to forget. Never able to live her life without the constant reminder.
Just when she thought that she'd finally gotten away from her past, the memories came back, worse than ever.
She glanced at Silvermist who was still with her mother. Maybe it was for the best that she didn't see Silvermist as well. It seemed that whoever she loved either got killed or hurt.
She was probably just meant for a life of solitude. Isolation. Where she didn't have any fears about hurt feelings.
But, no. She had to stay, at least until the battle.
Then, maybe, she'd leave.
Silvermist ran until she couldn't breathe anymore. She staggered the collapsed, having no more energy to run. It was all of Darkmist's fault. If Darkmist told Silvermist face to face that she was half-clan then Willowcloud never would've crossed the thunderpath and die. Silvermist let out a wail from the bottom of her heart. Her sister was dead, her parents were traitors, and her best friend was in a new clan, making new friends. Silvermist let out another howl, knowing that she was forever alone. A musky smell floated through the air, Silvermist's eyes widened as she recognized the stench of badger. Silvermit whirled around and came face to face with a large, ugly, black and white beast. The black and silver warrior felt her kits move. She bared her teeth, I will not let you harm my kits!
Wolfshade paced, he had woken up in the nursery and no mate in sight. He knew that he had to give her freedom every once in a while or else she would disappear for good, but this time she had kits she had to think about. Wolfshade was so caught up in his pacing that he didn't notice Risestar approaching.
"Wolfshade."
Wolfshade whipped his head around, "Did you find her?"
The leader shook his head, "No, we tracked her down to Skyclan but then her scent vanished."
"Keep looking!"
Instead of being angered at the younger warrior ordering him around, Risestar called for more cats.
"Shybreeze! Silvergaze, and Dawnwhisker! I want you three to head out and look for Silvermist! Check everywhere!"
"Yes Risestar!"
The three cats ran out of camp.
"I hope they find her soon..." Risestar muttered.
Wolfshade looked up at his leader, Great Starclan! Don't tell me our leader is in love with Silvermist too!
Then paws pounded into camp, Wolfshade jerked his head up.
"We found her, she was fighting a badger."
Wolfshade looked through the group of cats, despertaly trying to see Silvermist. Then the cats parted and Silvermist limped out. Her fur was in clumps, she had two claws missing, and her tail was all bent up. Yet she still walked with her head held high. Wolfshade ran to his mates side, smoothing her fur down. Silvermist said nothing just limped into the nursery, Wolfshade followed. Rainshine was laying in Silvermist's nest but got up when she noticed them.
"Here Silvermist," Rainshine's voice was a gentle murmur, "I made your nest all warm."
Silvermist gave a grateful nod, "Thank you." Then she laid down in the nest.
Wolfshade stood by the entrance of the den, "Did you find what you were looking for?"
Silvermist's eyes were little pools of memory as she gazed at him.
"No. and I don't think I ever will."
Emberblaze looked at Silvermist in surprise as she entered, "You should really see a medicine cat." He commented. "Where had you been to get that injured?"
"None of your business." Silvermist growled. Emberblaze just nodded, his gaze going back to Rainshine.
Wolfshade grabbed a fat rabbit and brought it into the nursery, almost running into Emberblaze. Wolfshade quickly stepped to the side, to avoid a collision. He entered the den his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness. Silvermist looked tiny in the den, the darkness surrounding her and the braken covering her. She had fixed her fur and it was back to its normal glossy and neatness, her silverish blueish eyes glowing. He brought the rabbit over to her, Silvermist let out a pleased purr. After the incident with the badger, she no longer left the den, yet she was still as fierce as the day she was born. Wolfshade looked at her with affection, she had picked him over Taloncall. Wolfshade laid beside his mate and rested his tail protectively over her stomach and her unborn kits.
Their unborn kits...
Rainshine looked over at Silvermist, they had so much in common now; but Silvermist probably still thought of Rainshine as her old overbearing self. That wasn't who she was now... she was now repaired and ready to reclaim her relationship with Silvermist. If they ever really had one... Rainshine hesitated from saying something to Silvermist. Her and Wolfshade were having a moment where he was all territorial over his kits. So Rainshine held off, but eventually, she did walkover soon as Wolfshade walked off. A gasp seemed to echo off the walls as she padded over, Feathereyes knew how ...Fiesty the she-cat could be. Knowing that fact didn't stop Rainshine... Silvermist had been doing nice gestures, after all, maybe she did want to be friends. Now was time for a nice clean slate.
"Hi, Silvermist I know we got off of the wrong foot but... I swear I've changed. I just really didn't want a sour relationship with one of the only other she-cats in the clan."Rainshine said humbly, but near her last word her voice broke off to a sombre tone.
Emberblaze had been out, unaware of his mate's attempt to befriend one of the feistiest she-cats to ever exist.
He was sitting on Feathersong's cliff, thinking about her. He couldn't push her away since that meeting. Her words hung in his head: 'She should've let me die.' All his life, he had grown up oblivious to his sister's pain. He had learnt it too late.
He had nearly told Rainshine about what had happened multiple times but he felt as if this was something that he didn't need to blurt out. So, for once, he kept his jaws shut about it.
He had also been tempted to tell Silvermist since, somehow, the two were pretty close before. Maybe he should? He wanted to tell someone and half his burdens. Though Silvermist didn't seem to like him very much and she probably wouldn't believe him.
He shook his head a little, trying to rid the thoughts. He didn't come to think of anyone but his sister.
All he wanted to do was see her again. Though he knew that was impossible.
Feathersong didn't want to see him so the best thing to do was to forget.
But he couldn't.
Silvermist just stared at Rainshine, slowly processing what she had just said. They did have a lot in common: They were both were expecting kits, both had protective mates, and they both had some connections with Feathersong.
"I guess you're right," Silvermist finally meowed. "After, we are stuck together for six moons. Plus I don't want our kits growing up hating each other."
Rainshine looked surprised, as if she couldn't believe it then broke into a purr.
"Me too, and thanks."
Rainshine started towards her nest when Silvermist called her.
"Hey Rainshine? Can you ask Emberblaze about Feathersong? Feathersong didn't really tell me why she left and what happened to Dappledleaf. Can you ask him for me?"
"Of course" Rainshine chirped, but first she wanted a nap. She would wait until Emberblaze visited her... she wouldn't want to take him away from his duties.
Taloncall felt pain every day breaking his mind. Days would pass and every morning he would see Darkmist, a cat who reminded him so much of Silvermist. Taloncall was severely broken, all of it was becoming so much. Everyday consumed the tom with pain and numbness. Taloncall had never had any interest in any she-cat, but Silvermist was different. Was running away from the situation a mistake. It probably was, since that seemed to be what he was only capable of. Should he return to the clan? No, they need a new deputy, but Silvermist is expecting kits... joy sparked his mind. He was happy for her, but still, it pained him. The fact who she chose,
maybe if I hadn't run away she would... no never shes happy with Wolfshade and that's final. Tolancall thought
Even if that was so... no one can stop him from treating them like his own. Maybe that would make him feel better, and so he was off and was returning to his birth clan. He might even see his sisters kits, Rainshines
Emberblaze, unaware of his sister's close presence, eventually began heading back to SunClan. Glancing over a last time at the setting sun, he wondered if he would ever see his sister, his remaining family member, again. Probably not but Emberblaze wasn't the type to give up.
"Hey, Emberblaze." Rainshine greeted him when he entered the nursery.
"How are the kits?" He looked pointedly at her rounded belly that seemed to grow in size every day.
"Fine. And so am I, thanks for asking." Emberblaze knew that she was joking; there was a gleam in her eye. Though she sounded like she wanted to ask him something and Emberblaze wondered what.
"Sorry." He purred, settling down beside his mate. "Is there something on your mind?"
Rainshine seemed slightly hesitant but began speaking. "Silvermist told me to ask you if you knew why Feathersong left."
She said it rather quickly and a little bluntly and Emberblaze wasn't sure how to reply. Maybe now would be a good time to mention their brief, confusing meeting. Though Feathersong had probably told Silvermist since the two were closer than Emberblaze had been to Feathersong.
"Should I tell you or Silvermist?" Emberblaze held off the question for a little so he could think
Wolfshade was doing a solo border patrol by the Skyclan border when a slightly familiar scent touched his nose.
It smells like Taloncall, but that's impossible! He abandoned his clan a while ago!
Wolfshade lifted his muzzle to check again, Was his nose deceiving him?
He continued towards the border and there sitting by the scent line was Taloncall, he waved his small stubby tail in a greeting.
"Hello."
Wolfshade narrowed his eyes, "What do you want?"
"I need to speak to Risestar."
"About what?"
"Thats for Risestar to know."
Wolfshade growled, "You expect me to lead a traitor to straight into camp?"
"I wish no harm, I just need to speak to Risestar," Taloncall meowed patiently.
But Silvermist is there! What if he attacks her! Wolfshade worried. Well… I'll watch him the whole time, he won't get near my mate and my kits!
The muscular brown tom beckoned Taloncall with his tail, "Let's go!"
Taloncall gave a grateful nod and followed him. Wolshade led the tom back to his clan.
"Congrats by the way." Taloncall squeaked, Wolfshade just shrugged.
why should what he says matter to me Wolfshade thought.
The camp soon came in to view, along with Silvermist. Silvermist, Taloncalls heart ached at her name. She looked so plump, and Taloncall couldn't help but smile. He had to fight the urge to go over and ask her about the kits, what he missed, and listen to the kits in her belly. None of those things he could do now, he could only watch from afar and hope on of her kits was assigned as his apprentice. Wolfshade flicked his tail to Taloncalls brother, the leader's den, then Wolfshade shoved Taloncall into the den, and he landed on his face.
Taloncall alerted the leader and explain what he had lost, and after an explanation. Risestar called upon the clan to tell them the deputy had returned, and a war was coming.
What Taloncall knew was once Silvermist was out of the nursery, Taloncall would step down from his position. So she could have it.
Silvermist was in the nursery when Risestar announced the news of Taloncall, so she didn't hear. Wolfshade griminced, she wasn't going to be to happy. The muscular tom grabbed a thrush from the top of the fresh-kill pile, it was her favorite type of prey at the moment. Wolfshade pushed through into the nursery, his broad shoulders making the bracken around it tremble. Silvermist lifted her head as her mate entered.
"So? What's the news?"
Here goes nothing...
"Risestar welcomed Taloncall back into he clan as deputy. "
"WHat!" Silvermist screeched.
Wolfshade flattened his ears against his skull.
"Taloncall is deputy? He left us! He could of been plotting with Skyclan! Skyclan's leader is the cat who took me hostage!"
Then her breathing turned into short, fast gasp. Wolfshade immediately went to her side and licked her head. Feathereyes had told him not to let Silvermist or any queen get upset. Her breathing slowly started to go back to normal, Wolfshade kept licking her head and ran his tail from her head to her back repeatedly. Silvermist buried her muzzle into her mate's neck. Wolfshade lifted his gaze from Silvermist to the entrance to see Taloncall standing there.
Taloncall nodded, and... he heard everything.
"I came back since I noticed that my absence as the deputy wasn't replaced. Being in skyclan I saw darkmist everyday... she reminded me too much of you. I've been so depressed, and once you're out of the nursery I assure you I will step down. That was your place, not mine. I couldn't live knowing I abandoned you and seeing Feathersong make a new friend sooner than me, it made me realize... I could never move on from the past I share in this clan. I know you didn't hear, but I'm the one who alerted Risestar of the war you knew before us all was coming. A war you chose to ignore. I'm glad you moved on, and I'm fine. I just couldn't live knowing I exited a problem rather than solving it... and I'm sorry. You were my first friend other than my sister and brother, who was I to leave. Now all I want is to watch you and Wolfshades kits grow up. I should have excepted our relationship, but now I know I've lived, I've known what life is and what a pain it can be. As long as I have the thought of knowing you're happy I fine dieing that way. I deserve to die, after all, I've only caused pain to anyone I've met. Even Feathersong hated me, I knew what she lost and stood on common ground. Yet she saw only my cover, not the fire of insanity that grew just beyond my eyes. Wolfshade... I'm sorry, I never should have... been who I am, I blame no one but myself." Taloncalls voice was grim and steady as tears formed and dropped to the nursery floor. Understanding seems to edge Silvermists eyes, but the main emotion was one he couldn't read.
"As you should" Wolfshade grumbled, agreeing with Taloncalls the last point. No one but myself.
Wolfshade though looked like he was going to lunge at Taloncall. Taloncall though he had fallen to his feet and, was going to accept whatever actions fallowed the next moment. Every head in the nursery was turned looking over at the tension. Rainshine wanted more than ever to comfort her dear brother. Emberblaze had sympathy in his eyes as well...
Silvermist stared at Taloncall as he shifted his paws, waiting for some acknowledgement from her.
Oh I feel like such a fox-heart!
Silvermist got up from her nest and slowly approached him. Wolfshade let out a warning growl, Taloncall flattened his ears as if Silvermist was going to claw him. Yet Silvermist did something that he didn't expect, she reached up and pushed her muzzle into his neck fur.
"Thank you," she whispered. " I understand. "
She stepped back, her silverish bluish eyes glowing in the dim light. She glanced down at her swollen stomach.
"After all, Wolfshade and I will be pretty busy when the kits come, I could use another cats help."
Taloncall looked startled, as if he couldn't believe the fiercest warrior, the one she-cat who snapped at him and ignored him was asking him to help with her kits.
"I...I... I don't know what to say..." He stammered.
"You could always say no," Wolfshade muttered .
Silvermist flicked her mate's cheek with her tail tip.
"Please Taloncall, they need to know their mother's friend."
"Well then yes! I would be honored."
Taloncalls lips curled up in a smile, he brushed up against Silvermist in a friendly gesture. Wolfshade wasn't happy about it, but Taloncall couldn't care less. He found a life, maybe it wasn't what he expected, but then again he didn't know what to expect. He left her and yet she forgave him, she was the best thing he could wish for. Now he got to watch her kits grow up, the whole thought made him want to burst out into happiness. That would be a little over the top, even for him. He slouched out on his way feeling Wolfshade's cold glare follow him on his way out the door. He didn't care, Silvermist forgave him, and as he had said. "He could die now knowing she's happy".
"Need anything? food, wet moss maybe?" Taloncall asked with peaks of sunlight in his voice
"I-" Silvermist began but got cut off.
"I can get it for her thank you very much." Wolfshade yowled chasing Taloncall out of the nursery, Wolfshade gained a small glare from Silvermist before she liked his nose.
"Uh, I'll just tell you and you can tell Silvermist?"
"Sure."
"Well, okay then.." Emberblaze paused, wondering what to say. "I saw her some time ago on that cliff that she used to always hang out on and she must've told me more than she'd meant to." He remembered her gaze suddenly turning to an expression that he'd never seen before. A mix between..anger and self-hatred? He honestly couldn't tell. Dappledleaf would've known though. "She said about how she killed her mother and Dappledleaf. Then she just ran off. I feel like there is more to it but that's all I know." He didn't bother reciting her final words that still hung in his mind. "Dappledleaf would know." He muttered after a short pause.
Rainshine nuzzled him a little, noticing the sudden flash of grief that darkened his eyes. "I'll tell Silvermist."
"Is there more you want to ask me?" Emberblaze questioned, hoping there wasn't. He'd had enough about talking about his sisters. The two things that he sometimes struggled to forget.
"..No." Rainshine was obviously lying. "Well, there's one more thing but I'll just question you later."
"Thank you." Emberblaze let out a brief purr. "I'm just going t head off and hunt now. That fresh-kill pile looks rather small." It didn't but Emberblaze wanted to maybe go visit SkyClan ,or whatever it was called, a last time before he'd be stuck being a father. The thought brought nerves, fear and excitement all at the same time.
He bid Rainshine farewell before heading off to maybe go see Fathersong. Or at least see how she was settling in. That would probably make him stop thinking about her, seeing that she was either fine or..not fine.
She was definitely the latter. Emberblaze arrived at nightfall and he noticed a familiar cry. Then a silver-pelted she-cat seemed to run out as fast as she possibly could. Curious, Emberblaze followed. Wondering what was up with Feathersong, he followed her doggedly around the landscape.
Though he was forced to give up when she vanished out of his sight, turning around a tree and then she was gone.
He had a feeling as to where she went but decided not to pursue her. Instead, he made his way back to SunClan. There was something else wrong with Feathersong and Emberblaze was determined to find out what.
He was especially sure when he heard some quiet sobs coming from the cliff.
He didn't try talk to her and instead headed into the camp and went to be with Rainshine.
"Where were you?" Her eyes were full of relief. "You took a while getting prey."
"I got side-tracked." Emberblaze lied.
Rainshine obviously didn't believe him it didn't question it.
Emberblaze soon sank into an uneasy sleep, still worried about Feathersong.
Emberblaze awoke at the crack of dawn, Rainshine still asleep. He wanted to talk to Feathersong and see what was up. She was hiding something. He could tell. He crept out, heading for SkyClan. He arrived to notice Feathersong with another cat. He narrowed his eyes and headed down. The clan was empty as it was still early. "Who are you?" He asked, his tone laced with mistrust.