"I'm gonna get you…." Alex roared, jumping around the counter making his daughter squeal in delight while she clung to Jo's legs, her face lighting up as Alex came towards her, grabbing her by the waist and spinning her around. The excited giggles from the littlest Karev filled the home, as Alex pressed her against his chest, peppering kisses all over her face.
"Da...Dada...ahhh….sthaaapp." She shrieks out in between Alex's kisses, her little arms reaching out to push against his face. "Mama…" She reaches out for Jo to help, her little cheeks going red as she tries to breathe while Alex tickles her sides.
"Did daddy catch you?" Jo grins, amused by the sight in front of her, placing her coffee on the side, she pulls her phone out snapping a picture of the two mid-laugh.
"I caught this little girl...and I'm gonna eat her all up." Alex beams, blowing raspberries against the three years olds belly, making her let out another roar of laughter.
"Mama...help me." She cries, her little face scrunching up in delight as she smacks Alex's head excitedly, reaching out for Jo again.
"You can't eat my baby," Jo exclaims with fake concern as she grabs the toddler up out of Alex's arms, cradling her against her chest as she pokes her tongue out at Alex.
"I am not a baby mama." Ryan frowns, her little lip jutting out in a pout as she looks up at Jo.
Jo tries to stifle a laugh as Ryan continues to give her a stern look. "Oh sorry...you can't eat my big girl." She corrects herself rubbing Ryan's back gently.
"Oh I see how it is...you two gang up on me...enjoy it while it lasts because it's all changing when this little man gets here." Alex grins, resting a hand on Jo's swollen stomach, watching in awe as Ryan leans down in Jo's grip to place her hand beside his.
"We'll see," Jo shrugs smiling softly at the thought of them as a four.
Alex's phone chimes on the side, breaking their little family moment as he pulls away from his girls.
"Mhmm I gotta get going, I have the surgery at 9," Alex mumbles, not looking up from his phone as he begins to type away quickly.
"Okay...you're still good to come to the scan with me right?" Jo questions following him down the hallway as he heads to the door, Ryan still attached to her hip.
"Yeah you know it...I'll see you later...I love you...and I love you." Alex nods, turning around quickly placing a quick chaste kiss against Jo's lips and one to Ry's forehead.
"Mhmm love you too….say bye to daddy...bye." Jo calls, bouncing Ryan on her hip, encouraging the little one to wave goodbye.
"Hey…" Hayes rounds the corner, bumping straight into Jo who had been trying to avoid a particular persistent intern while hiding behind the nurse's desk. "Where's Alex?"
"He's not with you?" Jo frowns, pulling her phone out her lab coat, Alex should've been here hours ago, she had assumed he was still in surgery because she hadn't heard from him since he'd left this morning.
"No...and he never showed up for our kidney transplant...I had to rely on the interns, he's lucky the kid is still alive." Hayes grumbles, grabbing a tablet from the nurse desk as he begins to flick through patients notes.
Jo's eyebrows crease, Alex should've been here. "He's not here?" she mutters, lifting her phone to her ear.
"You've reached Alex Karev, leave a message."
"Alex where are you? Call me back please."
Suddenly a flurry of pages go off, but Jo's still focused on Alex as she hits the call button again.
"Hey building collapse on the west side, we got at least 20 severe injuries coming in, it's all hands on deck…" Meredith appears, jogging towards the elevator as she looks back at Jo expectantly, Hayes already by her side.
"You've reached Alex Karev, leave a message."
"Jo, did you hear me?" She calls, tapping her foot impatiently as she waits for Jo to look up.
"I can't get hold of Alex," Jo mutters confused.
"Well he's probably around here somewhere, he most likely put his phone down and lost it...now move come on." Meredith waves off her concern, holding the elevator door open, gesturing for Jo to hurry up and get in.
"Jo…"
The E.R is packed, Bailey as always has insisted they'll take as many as possible even if it means they're running at overcapacity. More and more people are coming in with every passing second leaving all the doctors to scramble to cope.
"Jo." Looking up, Jo notes one of the firefighters from station 19, Victoria she thinks is her name. She was sitting on a bed next to Jo's patient, oxygen mask around her face that she pulled down to speak while her arm was wrapped tightly in a makeshift sling.
"What's up I'm kinda busy here.." Jo's sighs, gesturing toward the elderly man on her bed, he's got several crush injuries and a punctured lung, she didn't have time for chit chat.
"Jo..I'm so sorry."
"What do you mean he's stuck?" Jo mumbles, now sat in Bailey's office who was coordinating with the chief on the scene to see what was going on, she can't seem to quite comprehend what was being said, nothing was making sense.
"He's wedged under one of the steel beams, look I've been informed that they're doing everything they can to get him out but right now there's structural instability and they haven't cleared the build-" Bailey's words start to fade out and all Jo can hear is her pounding heartbeat as she processes it all.
On instinct her hand wraps around her other arm, pinching tightly at the skin, a painful reminder this isn't a dream. "He's alive?" she whispers looking between Bailey and Meredith.
Nodding Bailey sits down beside her taking Jo's hand in her own as she begins to speak again. "He has some severe wounds and he is losing blood fast, now they have been able to get some medical supplies down to him but his injuries...Jo, I've been told they're extreme."
"I don't...I don't understand." Jo whispers, still looking off in daze as she pulls her hand from Bailey's grip.
Meredith is leaning against the cupboard, her eyes watering as she gives Jo a sympathetic smile. "Jo…"
"No…" Jo shakes her head, this can't be happening. "I...it can't be Alex, it's not Alex okay? He...he was going to work, he had no need to be there." Jo tries desperately to convince the two women in front of her that this wasn't Alex, that this wasn't happening.
"It is Jo...Ben is there right now and we can patch the line through so you can talk to him."
"Hello" His voice is hoarse as it comes through the line, making Jo's breath hitch, he's alive, that's something to hold on to.
"Alex?" Jo tries to stop her voice from shaking as she leans against the window in Bailey's office.
"Hey, you…"
"Alex...what the hell is going on? Why are you at some god forbidden building on the other side of town?"
"Do you remember Tommy Wilkins, my patient from a few weeks back...he had a broken femur."
Jo mumbles something incoherent, still confused on what this meant, how it offered any explanation to why Alex wasn't here now.
"Yeah well his mom she has schizophrenia too...I've been meeting with them...just to try and help.."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Jo cuts him off, shocked her husband had been keeping this secret from her.
"It's not exactly ethical is it?"
"I'm your wife." Jo snaps, ethical or not he should've told her, she would've understood.
"I know...I don't wanna fight Jo." Alex mumbles, and the sadness in his voice scares Jo because she's only heard him sound like that few times, once when he was sorry about calling her trash, another time when he was scared about her depression and lastly when he was scared about becoming a father.
"You don't wanna fight? I'm gonna kill you when you get home Alex Karev."
"I'm not sure I'm coming home, Jo."
"Don't say that," Jo grumbles, her hand pinching tightly at her skin enough to make herself bleed, this can't be real.
She hears him grunt in pain through the line as he takes a deep breath.
"I can't feel my leg, I have a catastrophic bleed on my right side and I think I'm going into shock," He admits, listing off his injuries as if he was any other case at work.
"It'll be okay, they're working on getting you out." Jo's lip trembles as she tries to keep her voice upbeat and positive.
"Jo..."
"No-" she cries, a flood of tears gushing down her cheeks, her hand shaking as she presses the phone closer to her ear.
"Jo please…"
"I don't wanna hear it, Alex."
"Jo I'm a doctor I know the signs, I know I don't have much time,"
Jo shakes her head fervently, ignoring the sting of tears as she goes over his injuries in her head, people have come back from worse, he'll be fine. This is Alex, he'll be okay he is always okay. "You're wrong, Warrens there, and ambulances are on standby and were on standby here and it's all gonna be fine…"
"Jo…" He tries to cut her off, desperate to have her hear him.
"No you listen to me, we haven't survived everything we have to end like this."
"I know…"
"We perform miracles every day... every day. Please Alex just hold on,"
"Okay" Alex nods even though she can't see it, even now he knows better than to argue with his wife. "Is Ry up at the daycare?"
"Yeh…" Jo mumbles, turning as she hears the door open, Schmidt appearing with a coffee in hand and a sympathetic smile on his face that makes Jo's tummy turn.
"Can you go get her?... Please"
He sounds like he's begging and Jo can't really bring herself to say no...she wants to tell him he will see her when he gets here, give him something to fight for, but she knows he already knows what he's fighting for and she can't deny him, nodding towards Levi she asks if he could go.
"Levi's gone to get her," Jo whispers, pinching painfully again at her arm. "It's gonna be okay Alex.."
A couple of minutes later Levi appears with Ryan on his hip, her hair has already fallen out of the messy pigtails Jo had put them in this morning and she had smeared paint down her top but her face lit up at the sight of Jo instantly reaching out for her. "Mama"
"Hey...Ry..come here baby girl" Jo mumbles, settling her on her lap, listening out for any changes in Alex's steady breathing on the phone. "Daddy is on the phone for you, say hi…" She whispers to the little girl as she places the phone on speaker.
"Hiiiii" Ryan beams, excitedly tapping at the photo of Alex on Jo's phone.
"Hi Shrimp" Alex croaks, doing his best to keep his voice in check but Jo can already tell he's crying.
"Hiii dada...I did painting" Ryan exclaims, twisting around in Jo's lap holding her top out for Jo and showing Jo her messy little hands, Jo laughs softly nodding at Ryan as she wipes away the stray tears following down her face.
"You did painting? That sounds fun" Alex chuckles quietly.
"Daddy loves you."
Jo tries to stop herself from sobbing, turning away from Ryan she clamps her hand over her mouth as she catches Link's eye in the doorway.
"Daddy loves you so much okay….more than anything in this whole world." Alex's voice cracking at the last part.
"Say I love you, daddy," Jo whispers, bouncing her slightly as she encourages her to talk.
"Mama sad?" Ignoring Jo, Ryan reaches up cupping Jo's face softly, her little hands slipping away, her tears completely obvious to what was going on.
"Nooo baby I'm okay...talk to daddy."
"Love you dada"
"Love you, baby girl, okay?"
"Okay daddy"
"You be a good girl now...look after mama and the baby." At that moment gut-wrenching sobs tore through Jo, she couldn't keep them to herself anymore as she listened to him say a last goodbye to their daughter who was blissfully unaware of the trauma that would plague her life.
Link opens the door, as Ryan squirms in Jo's arms confused by her mother's tears as he scoops her up into his arms. "Hey munchkin you wanna come play with uncle Link?..come play with uncle Link." He nods towards Jo, squeezing her shoulder gently as if it offered any comfort to her.
"Jo...Jo say something" Alex whispers as he hears the door click shut, his wife's steady sobs coming down the phone piercing his heart with every cry.
"We have a baby on the way," Jo chokes, desperately trying to control her breathing enough to talk.
"Yeah, we do…"
"A little boy." Clutching at her stomach she feels the little flutters of their baby boys movements below her palm, she can't accept that he'll never be held by his father she just can't. "And we have a daughter and a house and you promised...you promised until we were old and grey."
Alex doesn't say anything, Jo can just about hear his ragged breaths through the phone as she goes through everything they had promised.
"Who's gonna teach them to ride bikes? and who's gonna walk Ryan down the aisle? We're meant to tell the story about how we missed our wedding at theirs and who's gonna film their graduation and…"
"You're gonna have to do that for me, baby." Alex interrupts her.
"Please don't leave me…" sliding down the wall Jo clutches at her chest, it felt like someone was reaching in and physically pulling her heart out, streaks of tears flowing faster than her heartbeat.
Squeezing his eyes shut Alex, takes a shaky breath, trying to stop his voice from giving away how much pain he was in."I don't think I have a choice here...if I did I'd be coming right back home to you."
"I can't do this without you,"
Alex's mouth curved into a smile, how his wife could believe she needed anyone in this life was beyond him.
"Yes you can...you're a survivor, there isn't anything you can't do..." He whispers an involuntary moan escaping his lips.
Jo feels like the air is being sucked from her lungs as she clings to the phone like it's her only lifeline, her breaths coming quick and fast.
"You, Josephine Karev are the bravest and strongest person I know and I'm the luckiest man to be married to you." Alex whispers, he's not one for soppy declarations of love but right now at this moment he regrets every second spent with Jo where he didn't tell her how much he loved her, how she was his greatest achievement and now it's too late.
"Okay they have to start drilling now, the lines gonna be cut when they do it so…" Jo hears another voice shout out in the background, her throat tightening at the thought of the call ending.
"Jo...listen to me okay because I think when they move me...I'm not sure I'm gonna make it to the hospital okay?" Alex mumbles unable to hold back the fear in his voice, his chin trembling as the hot tears flow down his face, squeezing his eyes shut he tried to remember the last time he saw them standing in the doorway waving him off, Ryan's messy bed hair sticking out in all directions, Jo with her stupid eye patches that he'd joked were so sexy first thing in the morning, one hand clutched around her bump the other holding Ryan.
"Don't say that.." Jo whispers.
Alex ignores her letting out another shaky breath mustering all the strength in him to get through this. "I love you Jo...you are the single best thing to ever happen to me you know that right?" He waits a beat hoping she'll answer, hoping she knows already how much he loved her, how she changed his world and how he could never be without her. "I love you,"
Jo sniffles, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "I'm gonna be waiting okay?...I'm waiting here at the hospital for you...so you just have to fight, you have to fight and hold on because I'm waiting for you." She whimpers, unable to stop the tears from falling.
She hears Alex's sharp intake of breath on the other line as someone calls out again that line is about to be cut. "I love you Jo...always."
"I love you, Alex...I love you so much and I…."
"I know baby,"
"I need more time, I...I"
Jo's body wracked with tears as the line went dead, still clutching the phone to her ear as she leans against the wall.
"Warren?" Jo looks up as Meredith calls out to Ben who appears in the doorway, a sombre look on his face as he notes the group of doctors waiting in Bailey's office, they're Alex's family...everyone here is his family.
"Where is he?" Jo whispers, pushing up out the chair ignoring the way Link tries to touch her shoulder, shrugging him away.
Ben looks uneasy as he comes to stop in front of Jo taking a deep breath before he speaks, "He had a torn artery...when he was moved the metal bar that had blocked the bleeding shifted and we couldn't control the bleeding...it was very quick."
"No…"
"I'm so sorry Jo but despite our best efforts-"
Jo cuts him off, shoving his chest lightly, Link's hand wrapping around her arm to pull her back trying to pull her into a hug as she fights him off, turning back to Ben. "I've given that speech...I've done it. I've told the wife who is anxiously waiting that despite our best efforts we weren't able to save her husband so that better not be what you're about to say," she screams, unable to control the fresh set of tears streaming down her face.
He's not coming home.
The realisation that this really is it, no if, no maybe. Alex isn't coming home tonight...he's never coming home again.
Jo falls to her knees, a loud scream emitting from her lips as she hits the floor.
"This is Alex...my Alex." She cries, clawing at the floor, catching sight of her wedding band shining back at her. Till death do us part. "I...I...I can't breathe."
"I got you, I got you," Meredith whispers, tears streaming down her own face as she wraps her arms around Jo while she counties to cry out for Alex.
I'm not sure what to say, to be honest, I don't know I wrote this I only hurt myself but you know how everyone said Alex should die rather than be with Izzie well I killed him so now everyone can know what they prefer. I'm sorry.