Carefully Gibbs took the note and began to read it. He so hopend that Tony didn't left for good. That they scared him away. His son.
"I had to go outside.
Couldn't think here.
Tony."
Gibbs read the note one time, then a second time. Two lines. There were just two lines! Outside could be everywhere. Gibbs was pacing the kitchen. Should he go looking for him? Should he wait? What would he do when Tony came home? Gibbs stopped pacing and looked out the window. Then he looked at his watch and called a familiar number. No answer. He then called another number which he knew would answer.
"Hello Leroy? What is going on? Why are you calling so late?" Jackson asked through the phone.
"Hey dad. Sorry but I needed your advice."
"Son what is going on? You sound stressed."
Gibbs sighs and told his dad about the conversation they had tonight with the team and about the conversation they had in the kitchen. "And now he left that note with only two lines on it." Gibbs said frustrated.
"Well that boy could turn your hair gray if it wasn't already." Jackson grinned.
"Dad it's not funny. I called you for advice. I know he is scared but he just suddenly left without telling me where he was going. And I know he is an adult but... he is also my son. Should I go look for him or just wait? And what should I do if he comes home or I find him? Should he be punished or not?" Gibbs said as he ran his hand through his hair.
"That are a lot of questions Leroy. Some of them I had myself when you were younger."
"I know dad. That is why I am calling you."
"What is your gut telling you?"
Gibbs sighs "That I... he shouldn't be alone."
"Alright. So that is a start. You then should talk to him. But adult or not he should know by now that two lines are not enough. You tried calling him?" Jackson asked calmly.
"Yeah didn't answer. He should know better." Gibbs said angry.
"Right you are. He should and knew better. So you go look for him, talk to him and at home..."
"I get it dad. Thanks." Gibbs said. He felt better talking to his dad.
"You're welcome Leroy. You know how to handle one if you know one. Now go look for that boy and call me when he is safe at home. And tell him he should know better than to scare his dad and grandfather like that."
"I will dad." Gibbs said and said his goodbyes before he hangs up. He took his coat and walked out of the house. Time to look for that boy.
——————————————
Gibbs first went to a local bar just around the corner. Maybe Tony went for a drink. He asked the bartender if he had seen him but he hadn't. Gibbs walked outside again thinking while he walked. Then he remembered something. Basketball. Ever since Tony had been in Stillwater he used basketball to get his mind of things.
Gibbs quickly walked to a nearby park where he knew was a basketball court.
There he saw Tony. Already covered in sweat. He was running and jumping fighting his demons away while shooting the ball in the basket.
Gibbs watched for a few minutes before he approached him.
"I was expecting more than just two lines to tell me you were outside so close to midnight." Gibbs said loudly.
Shocked at hearing the voice, Tony missed his shot and looked ashamed behind him.
"Do you have any idea what I felt when I saw that you were no longer in the house? Not answering your phone. Just leaving a note with two lines. Two lines Tony! And the note didn't even say where you were. Just telling me you were outside. I don't know if you know the definition of outside. But outside is a big territorium." Gibbs said angry.
"Uhmm okay I see you are pissed." Tony said carefully.
"Pissed doesn't even cover it!"
"I couldn't stay in the house anymore and they were still in the house so I couldn't talk to you without them knowing." Tony said nervously.
"That isn't an excuse to leave a note with only two lines and not answering your phone! You knew better."
"You know I am an adult now you know." Tony said stubborn and looked away.
"You sure? This was adult action?" Gibbs took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Look Tony I can understand you needed to clear your head, really is do. But going and not saying where you were going and not answering your phone I can not accept. I thought you left me for good."
"You want me to leave?" Tony asked angry.
"No of course not! And that was not what I said. I know you got scared of the situatie. Tony I can't lose you. You frightened me when you left."
Tony looked down ashamed and turned around and start shooting hoops again.
"I just needed to leave. I didn't mean to scare you." Tony said softly.
Gibbs stepped forward and took the ball from Tony.
"But you did son. Come on time to go home. You're grounded for one week."
"Grounded! But... but... I am..." Tony asked shocked.
"My kid. It doesn't matter to me if you are 24 or 4 years old. The other consequences are still there if you need them. At home we will talk further." Gibbs said sternly. He took Tony by the arm and start leading him home. Tony was too confused to understand what just happend in a couple of minutes.
———————————-
"I said I was going outside!" Tony begins to say when they entered the house. Realizing that being grounded was not part of his plan. Gibbs just told him he still could go to the basketball court to clear his mind but Gibbs would be going with him.
"It not up for a debate. You knew better." Gibbs said as he closed the front door.
"I wasn't thinking clearly okay. I just wanted to go." Tony defense.
"And in that state of mind it was a good idea for you to go outside alone then? Anything could happen because you weren't thinking clearly! Did you even thought about that?"
Tony sighs. "Can I say anything to make you understand me?"
"You could begin with what was on your mind that you wanted to run away." Gibbs said as he sat down.
"I didn't run away!"
"Walking out of the house without leaving or saying anything to say where you were going is running away Tony. I talked to you about how the team saw you. Making you understand their reaction. What was that frightened you? Why did you wanted to walk away?"
Tony sighs. He took a deep breath, was pacing the living room for a few minutes before he sat down. Gibbs was waiting patiently till Tony was ready.
"I already saw you as a father figure before the changing. Then I was little and you became my father or something. Then I was my real age again and you still wanted me as your son. I wasn't used to that as you could understand but then you didn't stop so I accepted it." Tony stopped for a minute to take a deep breath. "Then there was your father. Somehow he thought of me as a grandson. I didn't understand why. He only saw me once and I wasn't even big, I was little then but he still wanted me. So he was your father and you became my dad so it kinda make sense that he became my grandfather."
"Right" Gibbs said and nodded in understanding what Tony said. Tony stood up again and was pacing again. He needed to move.
"Then that with Ducky happend. I never saw him like that before. Well he always cares about us but not like that. He told me he was "acting on his emotions" I mean..Ducky? Then he told me he saw me as a grandson. That didn't make sense. Jackson was my grandfather because he is your dad but Ducky is... he is a colleague. Our doctor from time to time but... I didn't understand how."
Tony ran a hand through is hair and took a couple of more deep breaths.
"And now tonight. Tim, Kate and Abby were acting strange. You explained to me but I only know that kind of behavior from movies. Not in real life. We are not family by blood and suddenly you say our family is growing. I didn't even knew we were doing that! I don't know what to expect from them. What they want from me. I don't even know what a sibling does! I didn't ask for it. Why do they expect that from me? I don't know what family does more okay. I know you. I know Jackson. I know what to expect. You both taught me and I am still learning. But them... they are not making sense. How they fit into this picture!"
Tony said heavily and sat down again on the couch and held his head in his hands.
Gibbs looked a little shocked at what Tony just said. The boy was so confused. He didn't had a clue what was going on. Tony's family was never a real family. He didn't knew better. Then boarding school. No family. No friends where he could play to see what a family looks like at their homes. A movie he could understand but was not real. Undercover work was not real. And now was something becoming "not real" real.
Gibbs cleared his throat after a couple of minutes. "That are a lot of thoughts son."
"Yeah I know." Tony mumbled.
"Son look at me for a moment." Gibbs said kindly and Tony looked him in the eye.
"I can't help you understand what a sibling does. I was the only child. But what I saw by my friends was that siblings were kinda like your best friends. But no matter what happend they will always be there for you. You will fight with each other and bickering but there is a lot of love. You don't choose them. You get them. Kate, Tim and Abby have younger or older siblings. So for them it is easier to know what is happening. It takes some time to understand Tony. But no one is saying that you need to hurry up. Just stop thinking for a moment and let it come over you. It is a dynamic you four must create."
"And Ducky?"
Gibbs smiled. "Think about how you were with my father in the beginning. You didn't had a clue what he wanted from you or what he was doing. But you two came to an understanding. The same is now with Ducky. You two need to understand each other before it can work."
Tony looked confused. "That is not the same. Jackson is your father so family. Ducky is..."
"Also lonely. His work is his family. So you are his family." Gibbs interrupted.
"But Kate, Tim and Abby have..." Tony begins again but Gibbs interrupts him again.
"Family yes but they are not seeing them much. The team is also the closest thing they have to continuity. We look out for each other. You three are always bickering in the bullpen. Sometimes you fight with each other but you three always have each other's back. No matter what."
"Like siblings do." Tony realized.
"Exactly." Gibbs said and smiled. "See it's not that hard. You are thinking too much. Let it happen."
"But I am not good at it." Tony said softly.
Gibbs runs a hand through Tony's hair. "You are the reason we became a family."
Tony leans against Gibbs. Seeking for comfort. Gibbs put his arms around him and held him close. Tony yawned. "I think it's time for bed. It has been a long day." Gibbs said.
"Not that tired." Tony said yawning.
"Yeah right kid." Gibbs said smiling. He stood up and took Tony with him. "Come on. You have a busy schedule tomorrow."
"Busy schedule?" Tony asked confused halfway on the stairs.
"Yeah you're grounded remember. So that means chores."
"But... but... I told you..."
"Yes I know and I am glad you told me. But leaving without saying where you were going and forgetting rule number 3..."
Tony sighs. "Never be unreachable. But I was shooting hoops." He defends.
"No excuse kid. Had to think before that. Now go." Gibbs said as he sat down again on the couch.
Tony sighs but walked further upstairs. He said goodnight before he went to bed.
———————————————
Ten minutes later Gibbs phone went off. "Hello?"
"Leroy did you found him?" Jackson asked concerned.
Gibbs pinched the bridge of his noise. "Yeah dad, sorry. I didn't realized how long we talked before I sent Tony to bed."
"Where was he?"
"Basketball court."
"Of course he would go there. So what did you two talked about? Why did he leave?"
Gibbs told his father about the conversation they just had. "He is grounded for one week."
"Well I am glad he talked. But only one week Leroy? He broke several rules."
"I knew he was bothered by something and not thinking clearly. Besides he told me a lot tonight. That is a big step for him."
"Son, don't you think maybe that boy needs to see a therapist? Talk about what happend in his youth. I mean did he ever really talked to you about what happened? About what happend in his dream? Why did he ran away when he was fourteen? What was so horrible? He lied about his whole life without even telling somebody the real story. He doesn't even understand what a family is or how they should behave. He needs to learn it... son?" Jackson questioned when his son didn't interrupt him.
Gibbs leans back on the couch and closed his eyes. He had thought about those things his father just told him. He just wasn't sure what he should do. "I... I don't know. I don't think he would talk to a stranger."
"He is also not telling you everything." Jackson pointed out. "Maybe you should see a therapist."
"Me!" Gibbs said confused and sat up. "Why the hell should I see a therapist?"
"So you could learn. Leroy don't be so stubborn. You said it yourself. He would not talk to a stranger. So you go to the 'stranger' and conveys it."
"You're serious?" Gibbs asked in disbelief.
"Of course I am. Maybe I should call Ducky. He would know. He is a doctor. He knows..."
"Dad... dad. Please." Gibbs said loudly so his father stopped. Only Tony heard him when he came out of the bathroom. Curiously Tony sat down on the ground at the top of the stairs so he could listen to the conversation Gibbs had with his father.
"Leroy..." Jackson said sternly.
Gibbs sighs. "Look I will talk to Tony."
"And if he doesn't want to talk?" Jackson wanted to know.
"I will go to Ducky ask him if he knows a therapist for me. Happy."
"Happy no. Not with your attitude. It's for your son Leroy." Jackson said.
"I know I know. I'm sorry."
"Good. Now it's already late and I need my sleep. I talk to you later son."
"Alright dad. Goodnight" Gibbs said and hang up. Gibbs took a deep breath and leans back against the couch and closed his eyes. Tony stood up carefully without making a noise and went to his room. Why needed his dad a therapist?, he thought.
——————————-
Next morning both Tony and Gibbs were eating breakfast quietly. Tony kept looking at Gibbs when he thought he wasn't looking. But no one could fool him.
Gibbs sighs and put his newspaper down. "What Tony?"
"What is what?" Tony asked innocent.
Gibbs rolled his eyes. "You know what. Something is on your mind so ask or stop looking at me every 10 seconds."
"I am not..." Gibbs gave him a look and Tony sighs. "Are you okay?" Tony finally said.
Gibbs looked confused. "Yeah I am fine. Why do you ask?"
"Just... you look tired. Are you sure? You're not sick?" Tony asked concerned.
"No I am not sick. Why are you so concerned?" Gibbs wanted to know.
Tony struggled. "Something could happen to you. I just wanted to know if you were sick."
Gibbs runs a hand through Tony's hair. Maybe was this something his father was talking about. "Did something happen when you were younger that you are afraid of me getting sick? Your mother? Was she tired when she became sick?" Gibbs asked carefully.
Tony shook his head. "What? Why are you bringing up my mother? We are talking about you. Not about her." Tony said irritated. "Why are you not honest?"
"Why am I not honest?" He asked confused. "Why are you so defensive I could ask. You suddenly ask me if I am sick. Ever since you knew me, have you seen me sick? No. So the only person I could think about you really saw sick was your mother. Why don't you talk about her?"
Tony stood up angry. "We are not talking about her." Tony said and moved his chair angrily. He walked angry to the stairs where he stamped his feet on.
"No stamping on the stairs and don't forget your chores!!" Gibbs yelled after him. Tony ignored him and slammed his room door shut.
Gibbs took a deep breath to calm down. It took all his will power not to run after that boy. So Gibbs decided to clean the kitchen table and do the dishes. It would give Gibbs some time to calm down and Tony time to think about what he had done.