Chapter 8
"Was it fair of the king to sacrifice the life of his most trustworthy and bemedalled adviser in order to save the land that never had given him respect and appreciation?"
It is an unusually hot summer day for a place resting in the north, one that turns everything under the sun yellow and bright, heat prickling the napes of the young ones playing bravely outside. Robins merrily chirp from branch to branch singing a happy hymn of carefree indulgence - brown, orange, red - creating a rainbow nest of their own on treetops. It is the sort summer day to be remembered during white Christmases or little tea parties. One that would etch itself on the children's mind, cradling a fuzzy anticipation for the next summer season.
Nunnally wears her blue summer granny dress with sleeves reaching just past her shoulders. Her long wavy brown hair is neatly tied up in a bun, a red ribbon made to secure her tresses like a gift for a birthday party. In order to prevent the patch of reds to spread even more on her skin, the peterpan collar around her neck was tailored slightly wider, allowing fresh air to enter her skin while staving off rashes caused by irritation. Her feet are covered with the softest and most comfortable materials making the girl giggle as she walks for these magical shoes turn everything she sets foot on into clouds.
Meanwhile, her twin brother is dressed in a white cotton button-down shirt thin enough for the air to penetrate into and a pair of navy blue shorts reaching just above his knees. Similar to his sister, Rolo's feet are covered in comfortable shoes.
The twins, with their ever curious purple eyes, stare at the ceiling, a gesture the both them had developed like mirrors, thinking of answers possibly too innocent, too pure for the dark question.
Ceci patiently waits as she leafs through the pages of the story book they just read a few moments ago. Re-reading some parts, she reconsiders if such complicated scenario should be taught to them at an age when they should be playing and running in the garden. But the viscount had specifically tasked the governess to allot a special time to study this book which he purchased during his trip in the Capital.
'The Bitter Sacrifices of War', the title page read. Even she isn't knowledgeable enough to teach such topic. At the most, she tried to explain the context of the book as simple as possible for the twins to remember - likening the morbid parts with the beasts and witches from an ordinary fairytale.
She tucks the few strands of hair that had escaped her bun behind her ear. Stealing a glimpse of the scenery beyond the window, she cannot wait to take a break and rest under the cool shade of a tree as she and the twins munch on their sandwiches. Just the thought of feeling the grass and the breeze already brings her the refreshment that her body desperately craves.
She opted for a baby blue dress with a pair of cape sleeves hoping that some air would flow in, but it is one of those days when heat is nothing but an unwanted company that you couldn't get rid of. Retrieving her handkerchief from her secret pocket, she wipes the trails of sweat on her nape.
"I think the king has a big kind heart," Nunnally begins, toying with the bow between her collars. "He has so much love to give that he could fit all of his people inside his heart. His adviser was there, too. Maybe, he's near the center - beside the queen and the princess. But..."
"But...?" Ceci encourages as a look of uncertainty drapes over Nunnally's face.
"Maybe, there's too many people so he has to make room to accommodate them all. And contrary to what the people believed, the adviser volunteered himself to give his space to others. He did it with the king's permission and forgiveness."
"But why would the king allow that?" Rolo appeals, a crease forming between his brows. "When his people do not love him back? It sounds unwise."
Ceci asks Rolo, "So you think that what he did is unreasonable?"
"I think it is unwise," he adamantly answers with a pout of his mouth. "Now that the adviser isn't on their side anymore, how are they going to win the war? The king just handed the victory to their enemy too easily."
"Then what do you suggest he should have done?" Nunnally asks who, to Ceci's surprise, looks red with denial that her beloved king is reduced to a fool by non-other than her trusted twin.
"I'm not the king in the story thus, it's not my decision to make."
"You just can't think of a wise answer."
"I certainly can. I just don't want to tell you."
At this, Nunnally's annoyed eyes turn to Ceci and it is her cue to intervene and prevent a heated fight to occur which would definitely add to the already scorching temperature. Putting the book down on the center table, Ceci wraps each of her arm around their waists, pulls the twins towards her and begins distracting them with her fingers.
So much sooner, the spirit of fighting dissipates and their scowls are replaced with suppressed giggles that eventually turned into uncontrollable laughter. Laughter that starts at the bottom of their bellies, heaving air too deep until their chest compressed delightfully tight, and finally freeing the sound of ocean waves during sunrise and joyful sprints in the meadow through their mouths.
"Miss Ceci!" Rolo gasps as he struggles to escape his governess's tickling fingers but fails miserably.
On the other hand, Nunnally tries a different strategy and attempts to tickle Ceci back. But the way the older woman is holding them makes it impossible for the young Britannia to reach her target - Ceci's stomach.
"Are you feeling better now?" the governess inquires in between fits of her own giggles.
"We are," laugh, "But this," laugh, "Is no fair!" appeals Rolo.
"What is?"
"Let us tickle you, too... Miss Ceci!" Nunnally is rendered into a puddle of pure merriment. This time, her cheeks are flushed red from the blissful feeling of having a carefree time with her beloved governess and brother.
Feeling merciful, Ceci halts her attacks and grants her wards a chance to retaliate. She takes a deep breath and suppresses her laughter as the twins simultaneously tickle her stomach. Stiff, she dares not to show them any reaction causing Nunnally and Rolo to work even harder until Ceci reaches her limit, until she becomes the one who is at their mercy, until her lungs are desperate for air, and her laugh for release. The Sun Room fills with their uninhibited giddiness, glowing with the light the trio are emitting.
When their laughter finally died down, their lungs stopped struggling for air - jaws aching and throats rough - Ceci tells them that it's time for their break.
Not at all surprise, Ceci listens as Rolo, seconded by Nunnally, politely declines her invitation. Instead, she is given a tight, warm embrace before two small figures run out of the room.
Looks like her dream of having a little picnic outside won't come true today.
Following, she later finds herself standing by the doorway of the Art Room, watching as three busy bodies huddle over a sketchbook.
"Again? He might steal them from you one day."
The governess glances over her shoulder and finds Milly carrying a tray of sandwiches. Ceci only smiles in response and returns her eyes to Nunnally and Rolo who are eagerly watching as Mr. Lamperouge shows them his drawing techniques. With their own little sketchbooks, the little Britannias follow his instructions and ooh and aah in wonder after seeing the product of their learning.
It's been a week since the confrontation in his room. It's been a week since the young man started being nice to the twins. One may consider it as a promising progress, Ceci even welcomed it, though with hesitation lacing her mind. But worry occupies her head as she wonders if his kindness is just for show, if his niceness has a certain time limit. Is he being good to them because he genuinely feels remorseful with what he had told her? Is this an indirect apology from him? If that confrontation never happened, would have he continued being cruel and rude to them? Would he even considered changing his attitude?
Because if this is all for a show to gain the Britannias' trust, she would rather he stop his act and leave the estate at once before he breaks Nunnally and Rolo's hearts. For the twins, a week could be as long as a year, and their attachment and fondness to him are becoming more undeniably strong.
Yet still, there's a part of her believing that this could lead to a positive outcome. Having someone other than their playmates be their 'friend', someone older aside from her and Milly who could teach the twins of matters beyond their knowledge, offering new perspectives and experiences that a plain governess like her couldn't provide, it would be a great help in nourishing the their growth.
Therefore, despite suspicious, she lets them spend time with Mr. Lamperouge after their study time but not without her presence. There's always the risk of him turning away from his words when she is not looking.
"The twins aren't mine to keep," Ceci begins, returning her eyes back to her wards.
"Won't you really tell me what happened after I left?"
The nanny shrugs after Ceci shook her head then serves her masters their snacks. Upon Milly's arrival, Mr. Lamperouge lifts his head and automatically meets the governess's gaze. She reciprocates his slight bow.
For now, what Ceci is certain of is that she and Mr. Lamperouge are in a mutual understanding of civility. And she wants to keep it that way as long as she can.
Kallen folds the paper and clutches it to her chest like a cherished treasure after reading it for the thirtieth time that week. Yes, she is counting. Yes, she longs for him immensely.
"My heart aches the distance that separates us as an artist aches for his favorite brush he lost in time. Kallen, my darling, I count the days when we will finally be in each other's arms again. Without you, I am a canvas scarce of color and texture. Without you, I am but a vessel deprived of a soul. This ginormous mansion only amplifies the emptiness and yearning I feel in my heart. Please wait for me, my darling. You're always in my thoughts…"
The young lady smiles inwardly as she recalls his sweet words. Lelouch seldom shows his genuinely soft, romantic side at her but when he does, he becomes too breathtaking and too intoxicating for her vulnerable heart. Indeed, he is good at seducing woman. One cannot simply ignore the charm of one Lelouch Lamperouge particularly the maidens of their little town. Yet, despite his troubles, it was only to her that he let himself be seen as he truly was. And Kallen feels very special because of that.
But it is already more than a week since his first letter and the redhead is a tad worried.
One might consider her overreacting, but this is the first time they are separated from each other, and all her lonely heart can do is worry and miss him.
Lady Marianne finally arrives and sits on her usual throne in her foyer. She bestows Kallen two kisses on both cheeks before picking her teacup up.
"What's with the gloomy face, my dear?"
Hesitantly, Kallen answers, "I was just thinking of Lelouch's letter."
At the mention of her son's name, the mother's eyes dart towards the letter that is still in the young woman's hands. "You read that again?" she inquires snootily.
"I just miss him too much, ma'am. I am actually thinking of paying him a visit at the state."
"No! You will do no such thing, Kallen."
Her sudden outburst made Kallen jump, startling both of the women. Almost immediately, Lady Marianne composes herself, opens her frivolous fan and fans herself. "It's the heat," she offhandedly says. "I apologize. But dear, I think it is not yet the right time to pay Lelouch a visit.
"May I know why?"
"Well, it's still too early intervene with what he is planning. We may as well turn into nuisances that could cause his failure. Moreover, he told the viscount that I have a severe illness which ties me to my death bed. Now, I can't just prance over there without preparing an explanation for my sudden healing. Trust him. If there was one thing that that son of mine is good at, it would be at being cunning."
Kallen bites her lower lip in disappointment. When Lady Marianne doesn't receive a response, the older woman peers at her with a teasing smile. "You're worried about a different matter all along, don't you?" She then proceeds to chuckle in mixed sarcasm and amusement. "Do not worry, I will see to it that my son will go home to you. There is no other woman who deserves Lelouch more than you. And when you two get married, perhaps, I can have you manage some of the properties, of course, not without my supervision."
But Lady Marianne's reassurance does nothing to prevent Kallen's worry to grow. That afternoon, she finds herself in the pub that her lover frequented with none other than Luciano Bradley himself.
"You want to go to Britannia?" the man asks before taking a gulp of his whiskey.
Kallen averts her eyes from a couple who are starting to get physical – painfully reminding her of what she doesn't have right now – and forces herself to meet Luciano's gaze. "Yes, but Lady Marianne thinks that it is a bad idea."
"Hmmm, then it really must be. Remember, not even Lelouch questions her intuition."
"But - "
"Listen, I believe I know what's getting you anxious as a mother hen. And I can tell you, he had already done that."
Vehemently, Kallen shakes her head, a dreadful feeling starting to blossom in her chest. "He wouldn't. He promised me."
Luciano raises one trimmed eyebrow, his glass suspended before his lips. "And when did he ever fulfil a promise? My friend is a good man, but not even good men are immune to temptations. Not certainly Lelouch. Almost all of the women inside this pub had kissed him, Kallen, and most of the time, I witnessed those events."
At that, her cerulean eyes sweep over the place. Taking in the faces of the maidens and married women present, faces she knows and sees everyday, people she had laughed and squealed with over mundane matters, over Lelouch. "Why are you telling me about these? You're supposed to be defending your friend's honor." With shaking hand, Kallen grabs her own glass and drinks the whiskey in one angry gulp. Then she asks for another, until her throat burns with fire of desperation, her eyes stinging with anxiety.
"I'm just trying to help you see things as they really are," Luciano answers nonchalantly.
"Help me?"
Suddenly, the man turns his full body towards her, his fingers begin playing with the sleeves of her dress. Luciano and she are never friends. They are just mere acquaintances who has a common connection through Lelouch. Kallen was there first before Bradley arrived in their lives. She was the childhood friend, the playmate, the first best friend Lelouch ever had. Bradley appeared when they were 16 – a skinny blonde boy wearing a permanent sneer on his face – when Lelouch's rebellious attitude were sprouting due to his mother's lack of support and appreciation. And Bradley came at the right time to ignite, tolerate, and encourage the former's troublesome persona.
Kallen was never fond of the other man and she made her lover know it, too. Thus, Lelouch had separated hers and Bradley's worlds apart. But that came with consequences - consequences involving fights and women - that she would only be aware of after they were already done and her man bruised.
Leaning away from his touch, the redhead gives Luciano a deadly glare. Fortunately, he backs out but settles on a knowing smirk.
"If Lelouch can cheat on you, why don't you do the same? Perhaps, as a revenge? After all, all fair's in love. And I assure you, he wouldn't mind that much."
What?!
Mortified, Kallen rises from her seat, picks her newly-filled glass up and throws its contents to her companion.
"Bastard!"
She doesn't care that her outburst had stolen the whole attention of the pub, catching glances from people who have known her as a woman of good manners and strangers who would probably tell this story to the next town they're heading to. Yes, she doesn't care because she is mad furious at the man sitting before her. How dare he?! Despicable! And he calls himself as Lelouch's best friend? What a fraud!
With her head held high, she leaves the pub. She hears Luciano laugh awkwardly as he tries to dispel the atmosphere she left behind her.
If no one wouldn't help her go to Britannia, she'll find a way herself in order to be in her beloved's arms again.
"And here he is!"
Lelouch turns to the direction of the familiar bright voice and sees the tall blonde approaching him with a large blinding smile on his face. With familiarity that only close friends possess, Gino hangs his arm around Lelouch's neck. "What took you so long? I've been waiting here for more than a week."
'Here' being the center fountain of the plaza.
"I never said that I'm going to meet you here," the shorter man grumbles as he tries to loosen Gino's hold on him.
"I'm always excited about meeting new people who can potentially turn into friends. Oh, you mentioned that you live in Britannia's Estate, correct?"
The way the man changes the subject reminds Lelouch of his interactions with the twins whose ideas come like endless tsunami - fast and unpredictable.
"I lied. I don't live there but somewhere around the vicinity."
At Gino's frown, Lelouch manages to escape his grip and massage his strained neck. The plaza is a bit quiet tonight unlike before, and that quietness can easily amplify whatever words exchange between them. It was his mistake to carelessly tell Gino the information of his residence in the past. He cannot let anyone know of his identity as long as his status in the Britannias is still in a state of uncertainty. There's always the risk of being taken advantage of especially since he is a stranger in the Capital.
"It's just the most famous landmark that I can think of during that time of confusion and headache," he adds.
"Hmm," Gino nods. "So, what do you need help with?" Putting his hands inside his pockets, he leans against a post.
Getting a box from his pocket, Lelouch lights up a cigarette, offering one to the other man.
"Shirley would get mad at me when she knows about this," Gino says under his breath as he gets a stick.
"Shirley?"
"My fiancé, but her older sister doesn't know yet so I need you to keep it a secret between us."
"Well, I don't have anyone else to reveal it with," Lelouch shrugs.
"Promise me, Mr. Lamperouge. Her sister is worrying on various matters right now and Shirley does not want to add the wedding on her plate. We're in the middle of saving money for the ceremony. We decided to only announce it when everything is ready."
Lelouch is taken aback by the strong persistence in Gino's cerulean eyes that all he can do is nod. When the blonde grabs his hand for a shake, there's nothing he can do but to return the action.
"Good. Now, where shall we go?"
"I need to find a cheap art shop."
"A cheap art shop? Hmmm. I may know a couple of places. Follow me."
It turns out that Gino is a good and admittedly, an entertaining guide. His bright personality never darkens as they navigate through the narrowest and darkest alleys of the capital. He speaks as if laughing. There's a subtle joy in his voice, a lilt in his tone that Lelouch's concluded is innate and natural in him. He literally is the sun personified and everyone who had been in his presence certainly basked in his light.
He helped Lelouch find the cheapest but quality materials without any complains and even shared the secrets in negotiating with the sellers to get the lower prices. Taught him the shortcuts and secret ways in the Capital that could bring him on foot to specific places as fast as riding a horse.
Lelouch feels easy and relaxed with Gino's presence. As much as hates to do it, he couldn't help but compare Luciano to the other man, as early as it is. It's like comparing the sun to the deepest bottom of the sea - too opposite and distant. With Luciano, everything he did rooted from childhood insecurities, stubborn pride, and the need to be the center of attention. Luciano is like the devil in his ear encouraging him to do what he shouldn't which, in the end, he still willingly and proudly did. Luciano is like a shadow, the witness of all his mischiefs and troubles. But with the little time he had spent with Gino, it is evident that the man is nothing but genuine, cheerful and considerate. It's in the way he talked to the shop owners and keepers with respect and friendliness. Or when he chirpily greeted the people they passed by on the streets. And when he stopped to give the food he bought to a beggar.
Is it pathetic of Lelouch to be so awestruck after being under the presence of a good man, who must be considered ordinary in this part of the country? When one grew up in his town, a good man is such a rare sight. Perhaps, if there were a healthy amount of good men back in his home, he wouldn't have grown up the way he did.
After shopping, Gino leads him to a pub, a different one this time, where the former declared that the tab is on him. See? A very good man indeed.
They sit by the bar, amongst the other people unwinding or rewinding their worries in the building.
"If it's not too intruding, may I ask where would you need this much materials?"
Glancing at the packages by his feet, Lelouch answers, "I'm teaching my younger siblings how to paint."
The half-lie slides from his tongue too easily that he himself believed its veracity.
Listen to him calling the little elves as his younger siblings. God, it feels unreal, dizzying. However, he couldn't deny that the past week had been tolerably enjoying as he spent more peaceful time with the twins. Their curiosity and innocence are contagious. The way their eyes would stare at him in wonder whenever he showed them something new and amazing to their young minds gives him a sense of wholesome accomplishment.
Although, there are still times when they are unbearably annoying, especially when they insist to ask questions he would rather not answer.
The case with their governess, on the other hand, is very much different. The horrible words he had spoken to her are still fresh in his mind as the sting of her slap on his cheek and her glassy shiny eyes play repeatedly when he closes his own eyes. Flitting glances and respectful nods are what they had exchanged the past week. No polite greeting, not even a single condescending 'Mr. Lamperouge' and he finds it unsettling.
His mind hasn't rested ever since that day. He is embarrassed, guilty, remorseful for throwing those words out of his inner struggle on how he sees her. The struggle that hasn't left him, too. Instead, it had only strengthened whenever she silently stays with them, most probably, to ensure that he wouldn't harm Nunnally and Rolo anymore.
His confusion continuously grows as he steals glances when she is not looking, when he feels her burning gaze at him when he isn't glancing. It's strange how he is so attuned with her presence, how the hairs on his arms rise when he hears her whispery voice.
He desires her. That he cannot deny anymore. But he doesn't know what to do with a desire such as this. He cannot desire someone like her - someone so distant, and cold, and smart, proper and painstakingly beautiful.
The likes of her are only to be admired from the distance, like a lightning during a storm.
But why is he even thinking of these reasons? It's pretty obvious why he should kill this fire before it burns him.
Kallen.
"How young are they?"
"Seven."
"Twins?"
Lelouch nods before taking a sip of his drink.
"Reminds me of the Britannia Twins. They're of the same age. Say, have you met them? Having living near the estate and all?"
At this, Lelouch shakes his head. "Not yet."
"Hmm. Understandable. The viscount is very much protective of his children. He seldom allows them out in the public. One may consider them as his most prized possessions."
"What do you do?" Lelouch asks, changing the subject.
"Me? Well, I work in my fiancé's cutlery shop. The Fenette's to be exact."
"Cutlery? Then you are knowledgeable about knives."
Gino shrugs. "You can say that."
Reaching inside his pocket, Lelouch gets his knife and shows it to his companion.
"You carry a knife with you?"
"It is a necessity in where I grew up."
"I see. Let me check."
While inspecting his knife, Lelouch expresses his plan to buy a new one and inquires if Gino could help him with that, too. The blonde gladly agrees and invites Lelouch to go to their shop where they offer a wide variety of cutleries.
"That would be great. How about on Sunday?" he asks.
"We're closed during Sundays, but since you are my friend, I can give you a special tour."
"Thank you."
Removing his imaginary hat, Gino bows to him and says, "Gino Weinberg, at your service, Mr. Lamperouge."
"Lelouch. Just call me 'Lelouch'. After all, we are friends."
And the smile that Gino gives him is even more blinding than the sun.
They part ways a little before midnight. The mansion is dark and noiseless as Lelouch trudges the long corridor leading to his room. Packages in hands, he stops infront of his door and stares at the room next to his. He tilts his head and listens. Silence. This is why they never knew that they were neighbors. He never saw her enter her room at night and leave it in the morning. But what good does knowing their circumstance much earlier would do to him? It will only add to his restlessness as it does now. Sighing, he grabs the door knob and turns it.
Perhaps, it's time to write Kallen another long romantic letter.