Sorry for the great delay. Thank you very much for all of your kind and encouraging words. I'm slowly getting back my groove. Also, I made a little LelouchxC.C. amv in my youtube channel which you can find in my profile. Feel free to check it out if you have free time. Thank you. Have a great day!

Chapter 13

Now that the frustration the news had brought finally simmered down, the only feelings left for Marianne to dwell upon are that of betrayal and anger. How dare she? How could she do this after Marianne's endless reminders of staying put in their little town and not to interfere with Lelouch's business in the estate? And here she thought that Kallen was a smarter girl. Well, she thought wrong. She's just like the other girls who are foolishly inlove with her stubborn son. Why, oh why must she be stuck with such kind of people?!

Deep in her thoughts, Marianne unintentionally puts her teacup down loudly making her companion jump on his seat.

"So what are you going to do, Mrs. Lamperouge?"

Her eyebrow twitches upon hearing how he addresses her. Tsk. Another foolish man in her presence. It is well-known in their place that she likes to be address as Lady Marianne but Mr. Bradley never adheres to her likings. It is only Kallen, who most of the time forgets to call her 'lady' and rather calls her as 'Miss Lamperouge', is allowed to address her differently. At least there's still a sense of admiration and affection coming from the girl. But Marianne might as well remove that right from her due to her recent trouble.

"You must find her and bring her back here," she answers much to her dismay. She doesn't like owing Mr. Bradley a favor as huge as this but he is the only person she can think of who can help her right now.

The younger man smirks as he crosses his legs. "Ah, but that would be a lot of work."

"I'll answer all of your expense just bring Kallen back here as soon as possible."

Mr. Bradley raises a brow.

"Including your other activities and booze," she grudgingly adds.

He claps and stands. "Ha! We have a deal, then. Kallen will be here in just a blink of an eye."

"Enough of your false bravado. I need work and results."

The teasing smirk never leaves Mr. Bradley's lips as he bows and renders Marianne a courtesy he mockingly shows. "Rest assured, I'll do my job well, Lady Marianne."

The sun is bright and high that day but the lack of heat that kisses her skin throws Kallen a little bit off guard causing her to think of cool spring in her town. Her newly bought pink hat now looks ridiculously large and dramatic for this pleasant weather. It doesn't matter, after all she brought it to look pretty before Lelouch after not seeing each other for a while.

Surveying the area, the young woman is still in awe with how vast a land the Britannia estate covers. From how far she can gaze at, there's a forest where games are most probably hunted, a farm and a garden where fruits and vegetable are planted, a small pond with a bridge over it, and behind her is a wide garden decorated with statues and fountains – a fitting grand welcome for whoever finds themselves in the lair of the viscount.

Kallen Stadtfeld is indeed in speechless awe, standing infront of a grand oak door, for all of these land, all of these grandeur, could be her lover's possessions. Suddenly, she is sweaty under the cool summer sun.

"Well, here we go," she mutters to herself, raising her hand to reach the knocker on the door.

Feet restless, legs shaking, she patiently waits until the tall door opens before her. It is not until her third try that it finally opens leaving Kallen stunned for the second time that day.

"Good morning. How may I help you?"

She is staring. Kallen is definitely staring more than the respectable amount of time but she can't help but do so. How can someone don't when spring itself is personified right before her eyes?

The greenery of fresh moist grass, the golden sunrise, the pale clouds floating in the clear sky.

"Miss? Are you alright?"

And her voice, oh her voice is that of the soft breeze in the meadow.

"My apologies, ma'am! My name is Kallen Stadtfeld. I am looking for Mr. Lelouch Lamperouge," Kallen nervously introduces.

At this, the other woman lifts her chin up and subjects Kallen into a scrutinizing stare. They are almost of the same height but it is a wonder how the former can make herself look taller, more proper than she already is. Her hands are overlapped on her stomach, green hair in a high tight bun. The midnight green, white-collared dress is an attire Kallen had seen in a couple of her books.

Is the woman before her the governess of the house? Kallen never saw one in the flesh but when she was younger, she often heard Lady Marianne consider getting Lelouch a governess to straighten his acts. But her resources never allowed her to do so.

"May I know what your business is with Mr. Lamperouge?"

"I am his – "

"Miss Ceci!"

Two small figures run past Kallen and straight to Miss Ceci – a boy and a girl, each holding a basket full of leafy vegetable.

"Look, Miss Ceci, we harvested a lot in the garden!" the girl proudly says lifting her basket between them.

"You did well, dear," Miss Ceci fondly replies.

"Mr. Lamperouge said that he is a great cook and he will help us in cooking dinner, oh that would be a lovely activity, Miss Ceci. We can surprise papa!" says the boy.

"We'll do that. By the way, why are you here? Shouldn't you be entering the mansion through the kitchen entrance?"

"They wanted to go the long way and show you their harvests."

The sound of his voice brings chills to Kallen's spine. It sounds deeper but warmer. The familiar footsteps fill her with giddy anticipation for he is here, he is here, just right behind her, nearing her place, and oh Heavens, she is finally with him.

"Good timing, Mr. Lamperouge. You have a visitor."

"A visitor?"

A hot chocolate. His voice sounds different yet it made her feel safer and warmer.

He hasn't recognized her. It's the new hat, she thinks. Slowly, she turns around and for a moment, she sees Lelouch looking past her, smiling and gazing at Miss Ceci in a way that she never saw him does to her and something in her chest aches.

"Miss Kallen Stadt – "

"Lelouch!" Kallen bursts.

Disbelief colors Lelouch's eyes as they widen upon seeing her. "Kallen?" He shakes his head and when he looks at her again, the surprise is replaced by a calculating stare. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see you. I… I missed you."

"Who is she, Mr. Lamperouge?" is the girl's innocent question.

Lelouch's eyes jump from Kallen to the children, linger on Miss Ceci, then back to Kallen. "My cousin. She's my cousin. Right, Kallen?"

What? She's so confused that she can only nod. He grabs her right arm and squeezes it tightly for her comfort.

"And since she missed me and travelled this far to see me, I might as well spend some time with her today," Lelouch says with his usual bravado.

"Of course, Mr. Lamperouge. I'm glad that you are reunited with a family member," Miss Ceci retorts. Miss Ceci glances at Kallen and bestows her a pleasant smile before ushering the children inside the mansion, leaving her and Lelouch alone, finally together, yet she feels that he is still out of her reach.

"So what does mother wanted to say?"

"Huh?"

Lelouch meets her eyes after getting his drink from the bartender. "Isn't it the reason why you are here? She sent you to deliver a message."

"What?" Kallen shakes her head. "No, she didn't send me. I went here on my own… to see you," she looks down and stirs her tea, suddenly feeling shy, "… because I missed you."

Lelouch's eyes turns lavender soft and Kallen wants to kiss him right then amd there. Actually, why haven't they kissed already? This delay is so out of Lelouch's character knowing how physical he can easily be when she was with him.

"I missed you, too." Then the inquisitive gaze is back on his eyes. "But you should have warned me beforehand. I am being careful not to blow my cover and there are certain things in my background that I lied about."

"Is that why you introduced me as your cousin earlier?"

For a brief moment, her lover looks away. It was so swift, a movement so subtle but Kallen still saw it - the hesitation, the wariness. A pause so short but heavy and meaningful. Yet, she is deprived of the meaning.

"Yes. I don't think it is wise for them to know about our relationship. They might take it the wrong way."

Kallen wanted to ask how and why they would take it the wrong way. She cannot see how their relationship could affect Lelouch's plans. After all, she is never interested whether he is indeed a real heir of the estate or not. She just wanted to be with him even if they are the poorest of the poor. But Lelouch looks done discussing the subject and Kallen has no choice but to drop it.

"So... How have you been?" she asks.

He shrugs. "My stay has been quite good."

"Good?"

Lelouch shakes his head then laughs, a kind of laugh that Kallen hasn't heard from him before. "Actually, everything turned out unexpectedly pleasant. The viscount is appreciative. The elves are tolerable and Miss Co - " He catches himself. Looks down at his glass and takes a swig of his drink.

"Miss Co...?" prompts Kallen.

"Well, there had been a couple of miscommunication at the beginning but that's nothing to worry about. I have resolved my relationship with the Britannias."

"That's good to hear. Lady Marianne would be pleased to know that."

"And how is Mother?"

It's Kallen's turn to shrug. "Lady Marianne is still Lady Marianne. Though she isn't impressed with how you portrayed her as a dying woman to the viscount. As much as she loves to act, I think she felt trapped by such situation."

"Good then. At least she cannot cause unnecessary chaos to the Britannias any time soon," Lelouch mumbles. "Anyway, have you gone around the Capital? How many days will you be staying?"

"I'll be leaving tomorrow."

A nod. Then, Lelouch gets something in his pocket and dumps bills on the table. "Come, I'll show you around."

For the lack of much better words, Kallen can only describe their reunion as overwhelmingly subdued. None are the welcoming kisses, the tight embraces she expected would greet her as soon as they saw each other. Instead, they have been roaming around the capital for a couple of hours with Lelouch showing her secret alleys and shortcuts which Kallen didn't care to remember. She doesn't need to if she will be leaving tomorrow but she shows Lelouch an enthusiastic expression for the effort of touring her. Instead, what surprises her is how Lelouch talk about the place as if he had been here for a long while - as if he was actually born here and these alleys were his second home. There is a different kind of spark and familiarity that his eyes carry as he tells her about the toy store that sells the biggest doll house he had ever seen. A childlike amusement as he gestures to the elaborate fountain at the center of the plaza - an expression that she hasn't seen on him for a long time.

"You seem to be happy in this place and in the estate," she notes while eyeing his hands on his back. Right, they haven't held hands throughout this tour.

"You can say that," Lelouch does not deny. "It must be the cooler weather," he chuckles.

Kallen frowns. "But you'll still return to our town, right?"

Halting, Lelouch lets a running child pass infront of him before resuming his walk. "I have to or else Mother will wreak havoc."

"You have to?" She lets out a humorless laugh. "Does that mean that you won't if given a chance?"

Startled by his sudden movement, Kallen almost collide against the man as he turns around to face her. "My home is back in our town," he says seriously.

"I'm sorry... I..." I was just feeling lost, she wanted to say, for it feels like I am walking with a different person - a man so cheerful and... and light. One who doesn't harbor any permanent bitterness in him. One who was so far from the Lelouch that she knew who often wore a sneer on his face masking his insecurities and denied longings.

Because if that Lelouch is gone, then he wouldn't need her anymore.

"Why are you always angry?" a thirteen-year old Kallen asked a young Lelouch who had just punched Mr. Soresi's son on the face after the latter accidentally stepped on Lelouch's feet.

Lelouch had a scowl on his face. "What else would I be?"

Wiping the blood on the side of his lips, Kallen was suddenly conscious of how close their faces were. "Miss Lamperouge will be furious about this again. How many fights did you get involved this month?"

Lelouch scoffed as he swatted her hand away. "I don't know and I don't care. No one cares about me anyway."

At this, Kallen frowned at him, completely hurt by his sentiment. "I care about you. You're my best friend, Lelouch."

He only shrugged.

"Well, if you feel mad again, or frustrated, or remorseful..."

"You sure do know a lot of words."

"... you can come to me. I'll be here when you need me and we will find a way to take away your anger."

And they did find ways to redirect his negative feelings. At first, it was through innocent games, innocent adventures they embarked on, distracting Lelouch from causing fights or feeling left out by his mother. They discovered his talent in painting and spent most of his time practicing the craft. The method was effective, Lelouch became tamer. But as they grew older, the innocent hand holding and friendly hugs turned into passionate kisses and intimate touches.

It was he who started it when they were eighteen and he went to her one night wearing a dead expression on his face. One moment she was worriedly asking him what happened, the next one they were kissing. He kissed her so desperately like a man looking for an anchor to hold onto and Kallen couldn't do anything but to hold him. Lelouch never told her what transpired prior their first kiss.

Kallen stares at his bare hands and without any hesitation and warning, grabs Lelouch's left one and holds onto it tightly. Taken aback, Lelouch's hand remains limp before he surveys their surroundings (one act she doesn't see the necessity to do) then squeezing her hand back.

"… I just really missed you. The town is not the same without you there."

"Luciano doesn't give you any headache?" he jokingly retorts but Kallen sighs, remembering how horrible their last interaction went.

"You are aware that we don't get along. We only see each other for a couple of times since you left. As far as I know, he still frequented your favored pub."

Lelouch shakes his head. "Ah, Bradley and his women."

"And yours?"

"Mine?" he stops and Kallen braves to ask him the question that fueled her to cross boundaries and sleep in a stranger's inn, under the high sun, in the midst of these passersby – unknowing of how heavy and important her question would be.

"Have you kept your promise to me, Lelouch?" she asks in a low voice.

He looks away, up to the sky, then down to the ground.

"Let's talk about it later."

"Tell me now."

"Kallen, we are in the middle of these people – "

"Since when you've been concerned about whether people are hearing and talking about you? It's just a matter of 'yes' or 'no'."

Lelouch steps forward and tightly grips her hand. "Please, not here," he whispers.

If there is one thing that could be considered as Lelouch's weakness, it would be his eyes. Those sharp amethyst eyes are as clear as a glass in expressing emotions. Those eyes couldn't lie even though the owner tries to conceal their true feelings. It might be a split of a second but the truth will always come first before he wears his mask of denials.

So Kallen gives in for what she sees in his eyes brought fear to her heart. She nods, too overcome by her worries to speak. She should have known, she should have expected this but she still foolishly believed in his promise and letters.

She quickly thinks of another topic to talk about to divert her dark thoughts. "So the lady earlier, Miss Ceci, seems friendly."

"Miss Corabelle," Lelouch utters as they resume walking.

"Her name is as lovely as hers," notes Kallen as she peeks at her lover's reaction. "Is she the governess of the house?"

"She is."

"She seems young and too pretty to be stuck with such lonely job. I read somewhere that governesses are like air. They are fundamentally needed for a noble family's house to function yet invisible as to actually being part of the family." Kallen shakes her head. "I can't imagine myself getting stuck with such job."

"But it is a respectable job. And an admirable one, too. Nowadays, it is rare to find someone who is willing to give more than she receives. Someone who is willing to care for another person more than she does to herself without asking any mundane thing in return." His voice sounds nostalgic, almost wistful, then Lelouch shakes his head. "Thankfully, the Britannia Household is a good family and the twins equally reciprocate her adoration for them."

"This is new. Lelouch Lamperouge defending someone's honor. You seem to be well-acquainted with her."

Lelouch shrugs but doesn't meet her eyes. "Well, I have to gain her trust in order to get closer to the viscount."

"So..." Kallen skips over a stray rock. "Do you spend a lot of time with Miss Ceci?"

"As much as needed. And that is 'Miss Corabelle' for the both of us. Only the twins can call her with her name."

She scrunches her nose. "Too strict and demanding," she notes though it is basically the customs in the country. But Kallen is seeking for an answer that only the correct question can provide.

"It is the level of intimacy, I suppose," Lelouch absentmindedly answers.

And she succeeds.

"Do you want her to be 'Miss Ceci' to you, then?"

Lelouch halts on his steps, gazes at the sky above then sighs. How many times have he sighed and shrugged today?

Kallen, with her heart in her throat, waits for his answer but it does not come. It didn't leave her, that expression she saw on Lelouch's face as he gazed at the governess earlier - how he carefreely looked at the latter when he thought that Kallen was not around, how the edges of his eyes softened and his pupils twinkled, and it makes breathing hard for her. All this time that they are walking around the Capital, she feels like drowning with him not extending his hand to save her.

He never reaches her first. It is Kallen who grabbed his hand earlier. It is her who asks questions, her who seems to be the only one interested in their conversation. He hasn't even inquired how she'd been after weeks of separation.

She's been good, Lelouch. Lonesome but a bit bearable. Yet her immense longing was what drove her to accept the work as a temporary maid in order to finance her expenses here. It was tiresome, depreciating even, but just the thought of seeing your face again was enough to energize her dwindling commitment.

Her hands feel cold and she is ready to blame it on the cold summer if ever he asks about it but his grip is limp, his palm warm enough for the both of them.

"Why don't we go to your inn and have a rest?" he kindly asks.

She is drowning, her mouth filled with water and she cannot speak so she nods, like a sinking woman taking her last breath.

"A friend of Mr. Lamperouge."

"Best friend, if I may correct... sir."

Luciano lounges with his legs crossed, arms spread on the couch's headrest as he watches the viscount fill a goblet with wine. He bets it is one of the expensive and exquisite kind and he badly wants to have a taste. Damn you, Lelouch, splurging with such amenity.

"If you are here to pay him a visit, it is unfortunate that Mr. Lamperouge is not here at the moment."

Luciano waves his hand, momentarily distracted by the painting hanging behind the viscount. Is that the younger version of the man? Certainly, he and Lelouch do not resemble each other a lot. Perhaps, not at all. Oh, Mrs. Lamperouge, what have you gotten your son into? "I'm not here to visit him primarily, though it would have been pleasant if he's here and we're able to reconnect after such a long time. It is - "

"Then why are you here?" the viscount cuts, completely dismissing his litany. He takes a gulp of his wine and Luciano cannot help but feel envious.

Luciano closes his mouth then grins. "I am looking for Miss Kallen Stadtfeld. There is a large chance that I would find her here that's why I came."

"And who is Miss Stadtfeld?"

"Lelouch's woman. His lover, paramour."

Upon hearing his words, the viscount raises a neutral eyebrow. "Mr. Lamperouge has a lover?"

Oh, did he tell more than he's supposed to? The fact that Lelouch has been staying here for quite a while and hasn't mentioned anything about Kallen is somewhat interesting that Luciano wonders if he ruins his friend's tactics to accomplish the mission.

"He has and she went here because she dearly missed him like a princess longing for her knight in shining armor."

"Hmm."

As he waits for the viscount's further statements, Luciano himself weighs which fact should he share to the noble and which one should he tweak out for his friend's sake. Unfortunately for him, he is unaware of what kind of background and character Lelouch has already built in order to gain the viscount's favor. Luciano could be destroying the foundation the other man has established without him knowing now. And definitely, Lelouch will get mad at him. Mad furious and Luciano doesn't want to be at the other end of his rage. That man knows how to use his knife so well even Luciano is afraid of all the things he can do with it.

"Will you describe Mr. Lamperouge?" the older man seriously asks.

"He is good at art," Luciano safely answers. "His works can be a rival of those of a famous artist."

"I've seen his works."

Luciano shows a humble smile. "Well, we don't know where he inherited that talent of his because absolutely, it is not from Mrs. Lamperouge whose scribbles are comparable with a child's."

"How is he as a friend?"

"A showy one. Full of theatrics which, this time, surely came from his mother. But he is loyal, that I can testify for."

The viscount nods. "'Loyal'. I like that word. Short and easy to pronounce yet one that holds such great meaning. Say, Mr. Bradley, which do you think is more valuable, loyalty or honesty?"

The way the viscount's eyes shine with hidden motive instantly reminds Luciano of how Lelouch's amethyst eyes glimmer when they are about to do something tricky. This time, Luciano can clearly see the resemblance the two people lacked earlier.

Perhaps, there is some truth in Mrs. Lamperouge's claim.

"I'd go for honesty, sir. Because how can you be loyal to someone when you are not honest with your motives?"

"How can you be honest to an individual when your loyalty does not lie on them?" is the viscount's smart retort. "Loyalty and Honesty work hand-in-hand. However, I believe that there are certain circumstances when a person can be loyal to a fault without being honest."

"And how is that, if I may ask?" Luciano asks, interest sparkling in his eyes.

"If the truth is too hurtful or ugly to reveal to the other person. Or perhaps..." Rising, the viscount goes to stand before the tall window gazing out on the expanse of his land. Then he looks at Luciano with a weighing gaze. "Perhaps, he had told so much lies to prove his loyalty that the truth was buried deeper than he expected. So when he finally decided to reveal it, he only finds a hole for his grave." All of a sudden he smiles radiantly bringing chills to Luciano's spine. "As I've said before, Miss Stadtfeld is not here. The estate is not a place to look for missing people. We have more than what we can accommodate already."

As he is escorted outside, Luciano can only think of how much trouble Lelouch is in now. Because goddamn, the viscount certainly knows something about whichever truth Lelouch is trying to conceal.

This is the best chance to tell her the truth – to set her free from his lying arms and let her soar with her own wings. She is a phoenix trapped by his amethyst flames. Since when did her red flames die out only to be replaced by his cold purple ones? He doesn't know. He never notices. Lelouch was always and only thinking about his escapades and tricks that he completely neglected the depth of her commitment. Because she was there. She was always there – after a bloody fight with some men in their town, after a blurry drunken night out with Luciano and other women, she was always there waiting patiently for him and his drunken stories. She had been there when his relationship with his mother became clearer to him, she had comforted him during the lowest times of his teenage years. She's constant, a fixture. A routine that he grew up with that gradually became a mindless chore. And she doesn't deserve that. Kallen deserves more than what Lelouch could offer. She deserves someone who is un-Lelouch.

He nervously stands infront of the closed door of her room, thinking of how he must confess and apologize for breaking his promise that he committed to fulfill.

"Kallen, I have something to tell you," he starts but all of a sudden a pair of lips covers his preventing him to continue his speech. Lelouch freezes for a moment, shocked by the sudden action from his lover, before reciprocating the kiss that might be their last.

He savors it, devours her soft plump lips in between his as he grabs her waist and pulls her towards him. He basks in her familiar heat while her hands crawl up on his head and tug his hair. Ah, he really is a bastard. Look how he craves for Kallen's touch like a wolf surveying his prey when his mind is already leaping to another woman, wondering how she would taste like when he kisses her.

Grudgingly and with all of his remaining sanity, he grabs her shoulders and gently pushes Kallen away. "Kallen, I have – "

"Do you still remember our first kiss?" she asks with glazed eyes.

He nods. "Of course."

"What happened before that?"

"Before the kiss?"

"Yes. You never told me why looked you like a man who thinks that Hell is a better place than this world."

This time, Lelouch shakes his head. "Honestly, I can't remember. Perhaps, mother and I got into one of our fights. You know how disheartening it could get," he shrugs.

Hugging herself, Kallen turns away from him. "It's alright. Just like that day, I'm always here for you. My eyes are yours to seek, my ears are for your stories." She turns around, her body visibly shaking. "I'll always be here for you, Lelouch. I'm the only one who knows the true you and accepts all of your flaws and misgivings."

"I know and I'll always be grateful to you. But – "

"I didn't tell Lady Marianne that I am here. Perhaps, she knows it by now but she is against the idea of me coming to see you. So I worked as a maid for a few weeks to earn money enough to cover all of my finances. I worked at Miss Monica Kruszewki's house."

Lelouch's eyes widen upon hearing the name. "That is not true. You didn't just subject yourself to the cruelest household in our town. Why would you do that?"

He remembers how the Kruszekwis would hit their maids and helpers if they did something wrong right under the sun and for all the population to see. Their family is one of the richest in their town and no one dares to be on their bad side for it is as harsh as being judged by a hundred Lady Marianne.

"Because I wanted to see you."

"Aren't my letters enough to appease your heart?"

Kallen gives him a sad smile. "With the way you talk, it seems like you are not happy to see me at all."

Instantly, Lelouch waves his hands between them, denying her statement. "No, it's not like that. I am ecstatic to see you but you shouldn't have done that work. I could just pay you a visit – "

" 'But it is a respectable job. And an admirable one, too. Nowadays, it is rare to find someone who is willing to give more than she receives. Someone who is willing to care for another person more than she does to herself without asking any mundane thing in return.' That's what you said about Miss Corabelle. Isn't it similar to my situation?" She bites her trembling lips and with glassy eyes, Kallen whispers, "Is she the one, Lelouch? The woman whom you broke your promise to me for?"

His lips settle in a tight line before he nods.

She stops for a moment, completely taken aback by his swift honesty. But he doesn't want to lie to her anymore. He cannot lie to himself anymore.

Eyes unfocused, Kallen's gaze roams around the room except on his face. He tries to reach her but she takes a step back while breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Kallen."

"You can have her," she sniffs, "As long as I'll be the one you'll come home to."

"Don't do this. You are better than this."

"Is she better than me then? Have you kissed her? Did she know all of your insecurities and longings? Your hidden desires and goals? All she knows about you is a façade that you put up in order to claim your inheritance. She doesn't know what kind of a person the true Lelouch Lamperouge is but I know. And soon, you'll get tired of this charade. See if she would still accept you."

The laugh that escapes from him is deprived of mirth and filled with bitterness. "Am I really that bad of a person? Is that how you see me? It seems like mother's colors are tainting your own."

"You can have the both of us," she insists desperately. "It must be the air over there. With the cool breeze you are surely inclined to find some warmth. But you won't need her anymore once you come back. She is just the same with your women back home and I've endured them all."

He shakes his head vehemently. He doesn't want to hurt her anymore but he cannot allow Kallen to group Miss Corabelle with the women he had flirted with before. Because she is different. Because… "I feel different when I'm with her. It is something I've never felt before. I'm truly sorry, Kallen."

"Not even with me?" she brokenly whispers.

He stares at her – at her familiar face which he had memorized ever since they were children. Those ocean eyes that had always brought comfort to his soul whenever his troubles overpowered his desire to live. Her arms which always welcomed him, supported him, held him despite his shortcomings. The years that they've been together suddenly flood his mind and the fear of letting her go returns to him. Is he doing the right thing? Is he truly ready to let go of someone whose certainty to stay is as resilient as the oldest tree?

"Why does he need someone to return to at once? He can use that solitary time to gather his thoughts and determine what he really wanted. Keeping his lover and pinning for the other woman will only be unfair for both of the ladies and such a foolish thing to do of the man."

"You deserve the truth," is his silent answer. "I am truly grateful for all the years we've – "

"No!" she exclaims startling Lelouch. She takes a step forward, grabs his arms tightly and in a low voice, a voice that he never heard her use before, a voice so low it almost sounded like a growl, she threatens him, "Leave me and I'll tell everyone in the estate about the truth. Everyone, Lelouch. Including Miss Corabelle."

"You can't do that," he says through gritted teeth.

"I will. And they will remember you as Lelouch Lamperouge, the Lying Bastard of the Britannia Estate. Certainly, they wouldn't let you step a foot in their household again after showing you hospitality and kindness which you took advantage of for your selfish lies."

"Stop this, Kallen. This isn't like you."

"But what am I without you?" she counters.

A beautiful woman with equally beautiful heart and strong mind. A person whose commitment and dedication exceeds beyond selfish gains and desires. Someone who should not be confined as his lover alone, but a person of her own will and principles. He wants to say this, to tell her everything that's in his mind but as far as this conversation is going, she doesn't seem to hear his words anymore.

"Unless you take my offer. I won't do it if you agree to my proposed arrangement."

He bites his lower lip, searches her desperate face once again, then slowly removes her hands around his arms. He is suddenly exhausted. He doesn't feel like standing any longer. He steps back and sighs, "You'll receive my answer tomorrow. I won't be able to see you off so I'll send a letter. Good bye, Kallen."

"Where is Mr. Lamperouge? Is he not going to join us for dinner?"

"Mr. Lamperouge went out with his cousin earlier, Papa."

"Cousin?"

"Yes, Papa. That's what Mr. Lamperouge said. Her name's Miss Stadtfeld. She went here looking for Mr. Lamperouge."

"Ah."

"Mr. Lamperouge promised that he will help us in cooking dinner but he didn't return. But Miss Corabelle said that it's alright because Mr. Lamperouge and Miss Stadtfeld hadn't seen each other for a while."

"And our harvest is still good to cook tomorrow. Are you going to be here by then?"

"I will be here. I'm just curious why Miss Corabelle failed to mention such event to me."

"Maybe because she thinks about a lot of things, and her head is so full, she didn't think about telling you. Sometimes, I forget about important things, too."

"You always forget, Nunnally."

"I am not!"

"Now, now. Do not start a fight and disgrace the blessing of food. "

"Sorry, Papa."

"Well then, shall we eat now?"

He is a pathetic man.

A hopeless, helpless, useless, pathetic man. Look where he immediately went right after leaving Kallen's room. It is only now that he discovers he has a masochistic side and is willing to dwell in pain and worry as long as his desire is fulfilled.

He is a foolish man.

"Are you certain that you are alright, Mr. Lamperouge?"

He looks up from where he is resting his face on his palms and answers his companion. "I'm fine. Thank you for the concern."

"Well, you look pale." She stands up. "Stay here, I'll prepare dinner for you."

"Please, you don't have to do that."

"I can't have you fainting infront of me, Mr. Lamperouge. I will not be able to carry you out of the kitchen by myself."

She smiles warmly so he relents and waits patiently for her return.

An idiot, that's what he is.

"I apologize for not fulfilling my promise to the twins. Are they angry at me?" he asks as soon as she places the plate infront of him.

Miss Corabelle shakes her head and Lelouch is instantly mesmerized by the movement. It is such a simple action. One that is done by everyone, yet, seeing her do it hits him differently as if it's a supernatural phenomenon that only he could appreciate. This is what he is talking about, Kallen.

"They were sad at first but I explained how important it was for you to reunite with a family member after all this time and they quickly understood."

"They are good children."

At this, the governess bestows him the smile only allotted when someone praises the twins. Motherly.

"If I may ask, how was the reunion? Were you able to talk about your mother? You are free not to answer them if you feel that my questions are too invading."

The lie comes out smoothly. "The reunion was… fine. It seems like Mother's condition hasn't improved since I came here. But fortunately, it didn't get worse, too."

"You can still ask the viscount for a trip back to your hometown."

"I don't think it is necessary this time. Kallen is taking care of her very well," he mumbles before putting a fork of meat in his mouth.

"Miss Stadtfeld is such a pretty young lady. She must've missed you so much for her to travel this far alone."

Lelouch does not retort instead silence ensues between them as the sound of utensils echoes around the kitchen. For a while, he watches her eat her food and absentmindedly announces, "You chew your food for a long time," which causes Miss Corabelle to choke on whatever she is eating and for Lelouch to come to her aid by patting her back several times.

"I'm sorry, that was ill of me," he apologizes.

"Perhaps, we must work on your manners and etiquette harder before the party arrives," Miss Corabelle lightheartedly says. "First, don't stare at people for too long especially when they are eating. It will make them feel uncomfortable and invaded."

"Did I make you feel uncomfortable earlier?"

"A little bit. But that's because this is the first time I have someone to eat dinner with. You can say that this is a new experience for me."

"Well, isn't that lonely?"

She shrugs. "I'm used to it. It doesn't get lonely anymore when you're used to it."

That just sounds so wrong and sad to him.

"Why don't you join the viscount and the twins in the dining hall?"

Miss Corabelle smiles tightly. "There are rules and traditions that we must follow inside the mansion."

So for the following nights, Lelouch broke some rules and traditions.

So for the following nights, Lelouch becomes the unexpected company that Miss Corabelle has during dinner.

He was able to work through a schedule that wouldn't arise suspicion from the viscount – one where he would join the family in the dining hall first, indulging in some small talks and easy conversation; then having a second light meal with Miss Corabelle in the kitchen where they would sometimes have a brief exchange of knowledge on knife handling techniques, where he discovered that she is a poor cook and had to teach her of the basics of culinary, and when dinner is over and the plates and utensils are all set aside, Ceci would pull out a book or two and read the lessons for tomorrow and Lelouch would have his sketchbook on the table, drawing his muse with a book in hand.

He discovers her like how a man discovers the serenity of the moon - silent, enthralled and wishful. And as the night progresses, as he walks her to her room before entering his, as they stand infront of her door with her looking up at him with those dandelion eyes and him gazing down at her while drowning in her orbs, he thinks that he is not ready to lose this. He is not ready to lose the joyful company of the twins, he is not ready to lose the encouragements of the viscount, he is not ready to lose these comforting nights with her.

"Miss Corabelle?" he softly called once after she had turned to open the door of her room.

Glancing back at him, she asked, "Yes, Mr. Lamperouge?"

"Isn't it funny how things between us turned out?"

Her smile appeared as a secret laugh accompanied her words. "Perhaps, they are turning out as how they should be."

He smiled back as his thumb drew small circles on her pulse feeling her fast heartbeat and watched her bashfully bite her lips. "As they should. I like that."

Ah, goddamn it. He is not yet ready to sleep under a moonless sky.

She shouldn't have gone through her plan.

She shouldn't have disobeyed Lady Marianne's guidance.

She shouldn't have followed her immature and stubborn impulses.

She should have just let herself live in a blinded fantasy of pure romance and reciprocated feelings until he returns.

She shouldn't have followed her heart.

Now, she loses it.

Now, she's losing him.

Kallen,

I'm deeply sorry.

I am accepting your offer.

Lelouch.