Control

Chapter 5: Tell Me It's Okay

Author's Note: Guys. I just realized that this was the last chapter. *shocked face* It completely slipped my mind that I only had five chapters of this, I legitimately think I have short term memory loss, not, but you get what I mean. If I'm being honest I feel like I ended it kind of abruptly, but it's too late to change it now, so I hope that you guys are satisfied with the ending. Anyways sorry for not telling you in advance that this would be the end and without further ado I present to you the final chapter.

Damian expected to feel cold metal slicing through his throat, it never came, instead, he felt the grip that Slade held over him release. His eyes snapped open, and his body whipped around, only to see Slade's limp body lying on the ground. Confusion washed over him, he stared at the ghost of a man and expected him to abruptly sit back up, but he just laid there, unmoving. Raven had come over to him and drew him back away from Slade, her movements frantic and quick. She looked him over briefly, noting the small cut on his neck.

"What did you do?" Raven asked him.

"Nothing, he just dropped."

"You guys, look." Donna pointed towards the sky.

Damian and Raven's gaze traveled to the sea of darkened blue and saw what Donna was talking about. At the bottom of the sky, the sun was peeking out over the horizon, illuminating the trees that hung below it. Raven breathed a sigh of relief.

"His time was up," Raven stated, gesturing to Slade.

Suddenly she realized that her father's usually loud voice had quieted, her mind felt clear, well not completely, but a lot better than it had in the past twenty-four hours. They had made it through the night. Trigon had lost. They had won. Raven felt like laughing, or screaming, or crying out to the world, that she had finally regained control of her mind. She knew it wasn't permanent, she knew that he would always be with her, and would never stop trying to escape his prison, but she didn't care, right now all she cared about was that she and her friends were safe.

"We did it!" Donna exclaimed, jumping up and down, "Thank God!"

Damian laughed, and shared a smile with Raven, both of them amused at their beyond giddy friend.

"Can we please go home now? I really need a nap." Donna continued.

Raven nodded and looked around at the two people who surrounded her, thanking whatever higher power that there was for them all making it out alive.

Several hours later…

The group making it until dawn was amazing, what wasn't amazing was the fact that they had to drive for hours before they eventually got back to Titans Tower, it was almost midday when they made it back. Raven could've just teleported them all back, but she figured that Dick would be happy to see that his car had made it too.

They all exited Dick's Lamborghini and made their way to the entrance of the tower. Damian opened the front door, typing in the password to the electronic lock they had. Donna, Raven, and Damian walked through their home until they eventually found the rest of their teammates, who were all huddled in the living room, looking battered and bruised, not to mention anxious. Jaime was the first to notice the group, he leaped out of his seat.

"Donna! Thank God." he half exclaimed, half muttered.

Jaime raced over to the three of them, and Raven and Damian were expecting to be greeted as well, but Donna met Jaime halfway, and eagerly kissed him, their lips connecting with each others.

Everyone's eyes widened; most faces were one of shock.

"What the hell?! Are you two-" Garfield couldn't muster enough words to complete his thoughts.

"That's new…" Kori trailed off.

Jaime and Donna broke their impassioned kiss, and transferred straight into a bone-crushing hug, completely ignoring the rest of everyone.

Kori, Dick, and Gar, were much more welcoming, hugging their friends, and expressing how happy they were to see them alive.

"Are we in the clear?" Dick asked.

"As clear as it's going to get." Raven joked.

"That's good enough, anyways, ugh, please tell me you didn't completely wreck my car."

"Don't fret, Grayson, your car was unharmed." Damian mocked.

Dick let out an audible sigh of relief.

"Hey, I'm glad you guys aren't dead," Jaime stated.

Everyone slowly turned to look at him, who was standing next to Donna, with a sheepish look on both their faces.

"Really? I wouldn't have known, you seemed too busy sticking your tongue down Donna's throat." Damian said.

"Well, it's not like you're much better, you should've seen you and your partner in crime," Donna stated.

Raven's eyes almost bugged out her head, and she started subtly jerking her head from side to side, trying to will Donna to not say anything else.

"What partner?" Dick asked.

Damian was at a loss for words.

"Dick, leave him alone, they're all probably exhausted, let them get some rest before you start trying to pry answers out of them." Kori directed.

Thankfully, at Star's words, Dick relented and gave up the topic, for the time being, allowing the tired teens to return to their rooms, whereas expected they all had collapsed almost as soon as they hit the soft cushion of their mattresses.

After some much-needed rest, Raven pried herself from the comfort of her bed, deciding to take a shower, and cleanse herself of the events prior. She picked out some fresh clothing to wear and locked herself in her ensuite bathroom. She turned on the water, and stripped herself bare, goosebumps covering her skin as the air hit it. She waited a few seconds before figuring that the water was hot, and stepped into the shower. The water hit her body, cascading over it, and rinsing it of all dirt and blood. She watched as red water washed down the drain, making her remember everything that had happened. Raven knew that she was safe, that the Super Blue Blood Moon was over and gone, but it hadn't taken the memories with it. It especially hadn't taken the memory of the kiss Damian and her had. She prayed that he hadn't regretted it. She was the one who initiated it, but she thought for sure that he was going to kiss her after she had healed him, or maybe she was just being delusional. At this point she had no idea what to think, all she could do was wait until the right moment to talk to him.

Amongst the fact that she had kissed her closest friend, she had also nearly killed a man, and sure he was nowhere near innocent, but that didn't justify her reckless actions. She hadn't felt the darkness that had taken over her like that in a long time. It scared her, knowing that she was capable of doing something to that extent. She had been so preoccupied with the fact that they were out of the woods, and finally safe, that the guilt and fear hadn't hit her until now. Raven tried to push the scene out of her head, but it wouldn't budge, it lingered and stuck with her.

Later that day, the Titans had gathered in the dining room they barely used, deciding to discuss everything that had happened over a rare communal dinner.

Damian shoved his mashed potatoes around on his plate as he looked across the table at Raven who was in conversation with Jaime. He could tell something was bothering the dark-haired girl, the way she was fidgeting with her fork told him that much. He had a hunch about what she was concerned about but didn't want to confront her yet.

"So, what happened after we left?" Donna asked.

"Long story short, we fought Slade for a good fifteen minutes, before he caught onto the fact that you guys weren't here. He kind of just left after that." Beast Boy answered.

"Lucky. We had to fight a bunch of demons and Slade."

"Where is Slade, anyways?" Dick raised an eyebrow.

"He's back to being dead, he ran out time on his little deal with Raven's dad."

"Wow, something worked in our favor for once. Thanks, time." Dick quipped.

Kori chuckled.

"Wait a minute. Can we please talk about what's going on between Donna and Jaime? Since when are you two canoodling?" Garfield marveled.

Jaime sighed, "Can we please not talk about this. Some people like to keep their personal lives personal."

"We all live in the same tower, there is no privacy here," Gar said.

Donna rolled her blue eyes, "If you must know, it just kind of happened one day, okay. That's all you're getting."

Raven seriously questioned how she had missed Donna and Jaime's relationship with each other. She guessed that explained the whole hand-holding thing during the movie, but other than that there weren't any signs that were apparent to her.

The conversation continued from there, Raven not joining in, in any of it. Honestly, even though she loved her team, she wanted to be alone with her thoughts and be to meditate, she needed to clear her head. She had no idea how much time had passed in between the last conversation she heard and now.

"Raven, you've been quiet all night, is something wrong?" Kori asked.

Everyone's attention was suddenly directed upon Raven, their concerned gazes making her feel smothered.

"I'm fine." was the only response she offered.

"Did something happen while you were gone?" Kori pried.

Raven paused, her emotions boiling, "I think the real question is what didn't happen while I was gone. You know, that basically sums it up."

Her tone came off harsher than she meant to, and she watched as everyone stared at her in silent shock. She stood up.

"I'm sorry."

Raven hurried away from the table.

"Raven, don't go." Kori pleaded.

Raven ignored her words and continued her trek to her room.

Everyone watched as the young girl disappeared out of view.

Damian went to stand up, "I'll go and make sure she's alright."

"Thank you, Damian," Kori added, right before Damian exited the room also.

Raven entered her room, not bothering to close the door, and started pacing. Her heart hammered against her chest, and something akin to panic fluttered in her stomach. Why did she have to blow up at her friends like that? Why couldn't she just keep her emotions in check, like she needed to? Every little thing seemed to set her off, every little thing seemed to remind her of what had happened earlier today. She felt like she was a ticking time bomb, no, she felt more like an active volcano, waiting to explode at any given moment. Raven shut her eyes, trying and failing to block out the mental pain she was experiencing.

"Raven." she snapped her eyes open at Damian's voice.

Turning, she saw him standing in her doorway, and she inwardly scolded herself for not shutting the door.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She stayed silent, slightly opening her mouth to say something, but nothing came to mind, she had no idea how to answer his question.

"What's wrong?" he stepped closer to her, entering the room, and thankfully closing the door.

"…Everything." she breathed out, finally being able to form a coherent thought.

"Is it…" Damian knit his eyebrows together, considering his next words, "Is it because of the kiss?"

His question surprised her; she hadn't been expecting him to say that.

"God, no, that's not it at all."

"It isn't?"

"Damian, I didn't kiss you because of a heat of the moment, unbridled passion sort of thing, I kissed you because… because I think somewhere along the line I caught feelings for you, and I know that sounds ridiculous, but I don't know how else to put it," she explained.

Her words left him in a state of shock, and if not for the pain and hurt still etched across her face, he probably would've kissed her right then and there.

"T-then, what's wrong?" he asked.

She took a deep breath, turning her head to the side, before looking at him again.

"Remember what happened with Slade, right before he put that knife to your throat?"

"Of course, I do, but it doesn't mean anything."

"It means something to me, Damian. I feel so…awful. I could've killed him. I let my father's voice get into my head, and I just wonder if that darkness is bred into me. What if I'm destined to be evil?" tears filled her eyes, one sliding down her cheek, which she quickly swiped away, "I don't want to be like that. When it was happening, there was just this complete darkness, I felt just so cold, and emotionless like there wasn't anything there but malice. It scares me, the fact that I could do something like that. That I thought about doing something like that. I'm terrified of what might happen if I succumbed to it. What if I lose control?"

A choked cry escaped from her mouth, and Damian watched as walls she had built so strongly, collapsed. He stepped towards her, gathering her into his embrace and held her as her cries turned into sobs. Raven wrapped her arms around Damian's torso, pressing her body to his as closely as she could get. He made her feel safe, even though she was breaking down, she felt like nothing else mattered, she could hardly remember the reason she was crying, all she felt was the pain it had caused as she dissolved into the hug. Damian let her cry, not saying anything, just allowing her to let out everything that she had bottled up. He hated seeing her like this, she didn't deserve any of it. She hadn't asked to be born the daughter of a devil, she hadn't asked for her mother and the people of Azarath to be murdered, she shouldn't have to live with the ever-present voice of her father for the rest of her life, but she took all of it, she dealt with it all as though nothing wrong had ever been done to her. He envied her sense of self-restraint.

After all of her tears had run dry, Raven softly pulled away from Damian, breaking their embrace.

"Raven… the fact that you don't want to go down that path is going to be enough to keep you from doing so. When I was six, I was forced to execute an innocent man, by my own mother, and even though it took me a while to understand that it was wrong, I was able to overcome the darkness that I thought I was born with. You are so much stronger than I ever was or will be. I promise you that I won't let you give in to whatever impulse your feeling, and I'll do it for as long as it takes for you to feel stable in yourself. Everyone slips up sometimes. It's just our nature."

As Raven listened to his words, she realized how open he was being, how honest he was. She believed everything he was saying with all the fibers in her body. She knew that he wouldn't let her step over the line she was so scared of crossing.

"You're great at pep talks, you know that?" She mused.

He smiled, his perfect teeth glinting in the light; damn Bat-family dental insurance.

"Really though, thank you, Damian."

"You don't have to thank me."

Raven took a seat on her bed, and Damian joined her.

"Yes, I do. You're the only person who keeps me from falling apart. I don't know what I would do without you."

Their eyes met, a voiceless connection flickering throughout the air. Damian made the first move this time, leaning towards her, and capturing her lips with his own. Raven didn't even think twice about kissing him back, she melted into the kiss. His hands moved to cup her face, and he had no doubts about everything that's been going on between the two of them. Raven leaned back, shifting them both farther onto the bed, and the next thing she realized is that her back was on the bed, and Damian was hovering over her. Their kisses grew frantic, as did their breathing, both needing more of the other. Damian's hands shifted to her waist, as Raven knit her fingers through his black hair. Raven felt desire, a burning sensation searing throughout her core, something she's never felt, not like this at least, and it's only intensified when Damian's lips suddenly veer off to her jaw, trailing down to her neck, and placing kisses across the sensitive skin across her collar bone. Her senses feel heightened, and her breathing escalates, and she soon understands that if he doesn't stop, if they don't stop, she'll allow it to go as far as it leads them, and although she wants this, she doesn't want it to be a rushed blur, Damian seemed to have the same thought, because he detached his lips from her skin, and pulled his head up to look at her. His pupils were blown wide with lust, the same as Raven's.

"We should take it slow," he stated.

"You're right." she breathed.

He moved his body from atop hers, and Raven sat up.

"What are we doing…?" Raven trailed off.

"What we should have done a long time ago. I want to be with you."

"I want to be with you too, but what will the others think?"

"Don't worry about them right now." Damian said, "They can stand to wait a few days, or weeks before we tell them anything."

"How clandestine of you."

Damian chuckled.

A smile broke out across Raven's face, and she felt content like her life was heading in the right direction for once. She knew there would be hard times ahead, that's the life they had signed up for, but right now, in this moment, she felt whole, like nothing could touch the bubble her and Damian were in. The admiration and love she harbored for the person next to her, dominated every other bad event that would eventually come their way. Even if she lost control, or her demons took over, she knew Damian would be there for her, she knew that her whole team would be, just like they were today and the day before. Sure, they were a dysfunctional mess sometimes, but that's what made them a family, that's what made them Titans.

Author's Note::C And that's the end. Coming back to this story was really fun for me and I hope everyone who continued to read it enjoyed it just as much as I did. I want to thank everyone who followed, favorited, and reviewed almost every chapter (you guys know who you are :D). I'm gonna miss uploading a new chapter every Monday, but hey, you never know, I might expand on this story in the future, it just depends on how much time and inspiration I have. Also, fun fact all of the chapters and title of this story are named after songs, you guys can try and figure out which ones they are, but you don't have to if you don't want, I just thought I'd give you a little hint of where some of my ideas came from. I guess it's time to say goodbye for now though. I love you all.

-Bella