Freedom's Just Another Word

by snarcasm318

A/U: College is supposed to be their first taste of freedom, but for the last year Gail Peck had real freedom. Now she's back, within the grasp of her controlling parents, and forced to face the nightmares she's tried to leave behind. She's used to dealing with it alone, but does she have to?

30. Chapter 30

A/N: Wow...an update...and it didn't take me six months this time to write it. Believe it or not, dear readers, this story is nearing it's natural conclusion. It probably only has a few more chapters at most. I have an idea for a sequel but it's not set in stone and I'm not sure I'll have the time to write it once I finish this. But in the meantime let me know what you think of the latest installment...

---

It went from a long night to a really long night.

Kissing hadn't been an end to the conversation, more of a well-deserved break to give both of the women a chance to catch their breaths (not literally) and just put some of their feelings into something that wasn't words. It was good and calming and a bit of a respite. But there had been more words.

So many more words.

Because talking needed to happen, whether or not Gail wanted it to. And, God, did she not want it to. But it had. And it hadn't been the worst thing. Not the best thing. How could it be when she was talking about some of the worst feelings she had ever had about herself? When she was talking about being at her lowest and most desperate, and yeah, it had been the kind of feelings that led people to do dangerous things. And she had to tell Holly that.

She had to.

Not because Holly asked. Not because she wanted Holly to fix her. But because she wanted Holly to know. Because she trusted Holly enough to know. And because she knew she needed to do something about it. Yes, she was going to go to therapy. No, she no longer had any plans of harming herself. Still, she had come close enough that it honestly scared her and something had to change. Oliver had pointed out that Holly was a good thing in her life and that she needed good things (he had also implied that she deserved them, but that was something Gail still couldn't wrap her mind around) so in order to keep that good thing in her life she told the truth, the very painful truth.

Holly was a good thing.

She had listened. She asked smart questions. Gail could tell that the normally curious girl had held back a bit, probably scared she would overwhelm Gail if she went into one of her babble modes. But what mattered most was that at the end of all the talking Holly had wanted Gail to stay. She wanted her there, with her, and Holly was still looking at her the way she always had. Like nothing had changed. Like she was still Gail. She had needed that. She needed to know that the world wasn't going to end because she let her feelings out. That the person she told stuff to wasn't going to run or turn their back on her.

Okay, maybe it was still a little early to call that one.

The talking had only ended a few hours before they had gone to sleep and there was still that lingering doubt that maybe in the morning things would be different. It was almost enough to make her want to stay awake just a little bit longer, so that she could still have that reassurance. But by the time everything was said and done, they had both been struggling to keep their eyes open. For a few hours at least, there were no nightmares plaguing her. No, she had something, or rather someone, for much better company. For once Gail actually slept, albeit only for a few hours.

Gail could practically feel Holly's eyes on her, but she didn't want to open her own yet. "What time is it?"

Holly pushed the messy bangs up and off of Gail's face. She tried not to laugh when her nose twitched in response. "Like eight-ish."

"Are you going to the lab?"

Holly pressed a kiss to Gail's temple. "No."

"It's okay, Nerd. You can go. I'm good, I can just head home." Gail offered, already trying to disentangle herself and leave the warm bed despite having no real desire to. Hell, she tried to do it without even opening her eyes.

But Holly tightened her hold, pulling Gail's body back into the cradle of her own. "I'll go later. Right now I just want to have a lazy morning with you." To emphasize her point, Holly nuzzled her even closer.

"You don't do lazy mornings." Gail pointed out even as she let herself sink into Holly's strong arms around her.

"We don't do lazy mornings."

Both girls were always too busy for it. If Gail was sleeping late, it was usually because she had been up most of the night before. And Holly rarely slept in, even after a late night of drinking or studying. It was just innate.

"But I feel like we can make an exception today."

Gail definitely wanted to make the exception. It felt good not having to rush off for once and even though her sleep had actually been restful it still hadn't been nearly enough to put any sort of dent into her sleep debt. But she couldn't quite let herself relax fully, not when a traitorous thought popped into her head.

"This isn't just because of what I told you last night, right?" Gail spoke the words quietly, almost scared to voice them out loud. She wanted Holly, and she wanted Holly to want her there, but she didn't want her pity.

"I'm not trying to keep you here if that's what you're asking. Well I am, but not for the reasons you're implying. I trust you, Gail. You're planning on going to see the therapist. You had those plans before you even came over here. I'm glad you told me how you were feeling and that you want to get some help. But this, here, is because I just want to be with you. We don't really get a chance to relax ever."

Gail's stupidly exhausted body was more than okay with that reasoning. "Okay…" Even the one word was drawn out slower than before, despite her brain's insistence on fighting off sleep a bit longer.

"But...what about…"

Exams, and work, and test results, and crabby bosses, and asskicking instructors, and annoying friends, and ultimatums, and money or lack thereof, and responsibilities, and just everything that was constantly pulling at them, taking up their time, and their energy and...and...

"Shhh...sleep. It's okay, love, whatever it is can wait until later." Holly promised, whispering the words against her neck before pressing a kiss just below her ear.

Gail sighed and settled further into Holly because she was warm, and soft, and just so solid beside her. She could feel herself sinking deep, deeper into the stability of having Holly in her life and it seemed to be exactly what she needed as she drifted off once more.

---

Frankie had survived the night, relatively unscathed, and mostly soberish. And when they had stepped out of the bar, Chloe had pressed her against the cool bricks of the bar and kissed her hard, almost possessively. Then it was a too long walk back to their house filled with giggles (Chloe) and cold fingers brushing under warm shirts (Frankie) and stopping for more kisses (both of them). But they made it back and up to Frankie's room… eventually…. And then it really didn't take long for clothes to hit the floor and the two girls to hit her bed.

"Why didn't you just tell me that you and LauraLee came from the same town?" Chloe asked even as her hand kept encouraging Frankie's lips to stay where they were against her neck. She was enjoying herself but the question had been bothering her all night.

Frankie pulled back but couldn't stop her eyes from travelling along Chloe's almost naked body. "You really want to talk about this now?"

She wanted to atone for her earlier stupidity, but Frankie didn't know how to do that with words so she had planned to do it with actions. Actually, she had planned to do it a few times.

"Yep. And if you want to keep going then…."

Frankie laid back with a heavy sigh, "Pretty sure this is extortion."

"I like to think of it more as bribery."

Frankie silently looked up at the ceiling, trying to figure out the right words. Chloe's fingers continued to dance along her skin, down her side, up her thigh, from one hip to the other, but not anywhere that would satisfy Frankie right then. It was distracting and making it hard to think.

"B-because I didn't want to talk about it."

"Yeah, I got that Crankypants. I just don't understand why. I mean it's not like the two of you…" Chloe thought back to all the stories she had heard that night. Most of them had been friendly enough, stories of shenanigans around their town and in school. She had tried to piece together why Frankie was so resistant to the idea of her knowing who the other girl was when it seemed like she was nothing more than an old friend. Then it dawned on her. "Oh...she's the girl from the truck."

If Frankie had needed some motivation to calm her body down, she had just found it. It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water down her back as her stomach plummeted when Chloe pieced together the clues out loud.

"Yeah."

Chloe rolled her eyes, unfazed in the slightest, "Yeah, but still, I walk around campus with like 90% of the women who've hooked up with you. It's never made a difference before."

"That isn't why. It wasn't because we had been together or anything like that." God, it would be so much easier if it was, but Frankie didn't hide the people she was with. Not anymore, at least. Her eyes flickered over to Chloe who was propped up beside her, clearly waiting for an answer. A real answer.

She looked back at the ceiling as she continued "I said and did a lot of things I shouldn't have back then and I was ashamed of it."

"It was a long time ago."

"Not that long." Frankie replied quietly. But it wasn't like she had gotten better as she had gotten older. Since then, Frankie had continued to leave a trail of broken hearts everywhere she went, she was just more honest about it from the beginning. She came with her own self-proclaimed Enter at your own risk cautionary sign. It made it easier to keep people at arm's length if she did. But she couldn't seem to keep Chloe away, even if she knew she should.

"I was scared of my family and I was scared of being myself and LauraLee, she got that, but she was still willing to be there for me. And I didn't deserve her kindness or her friendship so…"

When the sentence trailed off, Chloe finished it for her. "So you lashed out?"

Frankie nodded.

"It's okay to be scared. People do stupid stuff when they're scared. There's nothing wrong with that."

"There was a lot wrong with the stuff I did and said. I just...it hurt. It hurt a lot." Frankie took a breath, wetting her lips. She could still feel Chloe's fingers idly trailing a path along her skin, she was pretty sure the younger girl wasn't even doing it consciously but it was still too much right then. She caught Chloe's hand and laced their fingers together, for some reason it seemed to make it easier to talk.

"I had tried to end things easy. You know? Just the usual 'We can't do this' and shit, but she wouldn't take my excuses and she wouldn't just let me ignore her, even though I tried my damnedest. She caught me one day at the shop working on my car. I told her to go and she wouldn't, she refused until we actually talked. And I just-I just unloaded on her. I told her that what we had was nothing more than a mistake. That I had been confused and hadn't meant any of things I had said to her. I told her I liked guys and that I had started dating one of the guys at school. But it wasn't enough. She said she didn't believe me. So I told her I could never be happy with a woman. That she could never make me happy.….but she still said that all she wanted was to be friends, or whatever."

The next part was the hardest. Nothing she had said so far was too outrageous, and when she chanced a glance at Chloe she only saw patient understanding on her face as she listened quietly. Even her usual buzzing energy had settled for a few moments so that Frankie could get the words out. But it wasn't easy and Frankie could feel them lodging in her throat. She coughed, trying to clear them.

Chloe gave her hand a squeeze. "You don't have to tell me."

"You wanted to know."

"I do, but not if you don't want to say it."

"I don't, but I think I have to." She let go of Chloe's hand and sat up. She ran a hand through her hair before crossing her arms over her knees. "I told her that there was something wrong with her. That what we had done was wrong. I told her that she disgusted me and just because she was broken and going to hell, it didn't mean that I was. Because I wasn't like her. And I never would be."

Frankie could feel the tears gathering, she blinked hard, trying to keep them at bay as she looked at the wall across the room and purposefully not at Chloe. She could still picture the look of devastation on LauraLee's face as she said the cruelest things she could think of, preying on both LauraLee's weaknesses and her own.

"Frankie…"

Chloe reached out for her but Frankie pulled away farther, wanting nothing more than to distance herself.

"Before you say anything, you need to understand. Those were the worst things I could say to her at the time. They were the same things we had been told over and over again by the people in our town, by our classmates, our parents. My father preached it at the damn altar on Sundays and everyone in our community just ate it up. And my mother…she told me those same things before she tried to beat the sin out of me."

Very few people knew that part of the story. Not even LauraLee. Frankie hid the bruises for weeks. She could still feel the blows she had taken, but it was the words, the words had cut so much deeper into her heart, they had made her sick to her stomach, and they had been enough to push her back into the deep, dark closet.

"I knew it would hurt her because I knew her fears. She had told me them and then I did exactly what she was scared of." And it had finally been enough to break the bond she had with LauraLee, to shatter it to pieces.

Chloe finally sat up too. She reached for the older girl and frowned at the way Frankie flinched at first. Her touch was gentle as she ran her hand up along her bare back until it came to the tattoo imprinted on Frankie's shoulder. "You were saying those things because you were scared and young and in high school."

"I said those things to be cruel, I was cruel on purpose because I wanted to see her hurt. I was no better than all those other assholes from that stupid fucking town. None of us deserved to have anyone as good as her around and when she left and never came back I couldn't even blame her. She deserved better things."

"And you two haven't spoken since."

Frankie shook her head, "I haven't even seen her since she graduated until I bumped into her at the Penny when she was with Holly."

"But then she wanted to get drinks with you?"

Frankie shrugged, not really understanding it either. "She's always been the forgiving type and I owed her an apology and an explanation."

"Which you finally gave."

"Yeah, I did. Before you showed up."

"Good."

"So yeah, that's why I didn't tell you who she was. I wasn't hiding her from you, I was hiding what I had done. And I was trying to avoid having to talk about all that stuff and that fucking place. I hate it there so much. And I don't like having to go back there even in my head."

Chloe leaned over, bridging the gap between the two of them. She pressed a kiss to Frankie's shoulder. "You're not back there." She pressed another. "You're here." Another. "And you're safe." She rested her chin on the same spot.

Frankie took a deep breath and released it, letting some of the tension out of her shoulders. "I like being here."

"I like you being here too."

"I know I haven't said it in the best ways...or really at all...but I like you, Chloe, a lot. But you are way too good for me."

"Oh, I know, but I don't mind slumming it with you." Chloe teased.

"I was being sincere."

"I know." Chloe pulled back slightly and brushed a hand through Frankie's hair. "I like you too. And what you told me, Frankie, it doesn't change that."

"It should."

"It doesn't."

"I hurt the people that I care about the most." And it wasn't always intentional. She had hurt her family. Devastated them just by being herself. She hurt her uncles by barely seeing them. Hurt her brothers with all the rumors she generated. And yeah, they had all hurt her too (had hurt her worse), but she couldn't see past her own actions. Then there were the people that she had hurt trying to protect her own fragile heart. Chloe was no exception.

"You haven't hurt Holly. Or Juliet."

"They're friends."

"So are we."

Frankie snorted. "We are?"

Chloe shoved her slightly, "Don't tell me you've forgotten. I already told you, Crankypants, that I was going to be your friend this year."

"Mmhmm, that was before I had seen you naked. And I had definitely wanted to see you naked then."

"Okay, you're really telling me you've never seen Holly naked or wanted to? Or Juliet?"

Frankie opened her mouth and closed it. "That's so not the point. And besides, I'm not exactly nice to Holly or Jules."

"Well I happen to find you nice when you want to be. Like all the times you fixed my car, or gave me rides, or went shopping with me when you didn't want to."

"Just because I can sometimes behave doesn't make me a nice person."

"You are so stubborn. I like you and want to be with you, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm going to do what I want. Well, mostly, because you have to want to do it too. Because consent is super sexy."

Frankie tried not to, she didn't want to, but she could feel the laughter climbing its way up into her chest, loosening the tightness that had formed there as she listened to the bubbly rant. There was a smile tugging at her lips. She reached for Chloe, her hand cupping her jaw as her thumb brushed along her bottom lip before she moved in slowly to gently catch it between her own. She could feel Chloe's smile against her lips before they were moving again. Frankie shifted, pushing Chloe onto her back and settling between her legs. She felt Chloe's teeth sink into her bottom lip and she let out a groan.

"Yep, I definitely consent. So fucking much."

Chloe laughed and Frankie kissed her harder. She still had a lot of making up to do.

---

A couple of hours had passed since Gail had last woken up and by then there was more light streaming through Holly's window. She still had Holly's arms wrapped around her but now she needed to pee, so she slipped out of the bed as gently as possible and headed to the bathroom.

"Hey." Holly smiled when she caught sight of Gail returning.

Gail leaned over to give Holly a quick kiss, just a brush of their lips together. "Hey. Are we still being lazy?"

Holly nodded and held up her arm and the covers, inviting Gail back into her bed. Gail slid back in and settled onto her back with Holly just beside her.

"So do lazy mornings include breakfast?"

"They include eating." Holly pressed a kiss to her neck as her hand slid along Gail's stomach, her nails gently scratching along the smooth skin.

"Oh yeah?" Gail turned onto her side and Holly's hand shifted to the small of her back pulling her closer.

"Mmhmm." Holly mumbled against her lips before kissing Gail properly. She could taste the mintiness of the toothpaste still on Gail's tongue and became self-conscious. She pressed Gail onto her back and gave her a shorter peck on the lips. "Hold this thought."

Holly hopped off the bed and into the bathroom to relieve her own bladder and brush her teeth. She also passed a brush through her long locks before returning to her bedroom where she found Gail sitting up in her bed, in the shirt she had stolen the night before and her socks, but now with a bowl of cereal in her hands.

Gail paused when she realized she had gotten caught, the spoon still halfway to her mouth, "Sorry not sorry, I need real food if you want any of those thoughts to actually happen."

Holly placed her hands on her hips. "You could've at least brought me a bowl."

A smile broke across Gail's face and she held out the spoon. Holly dropped onto the bed and accepted the mouthful. She couldn't help her own smile. "I thought you didn't share."

"I don't." Gail crunched loudly as she held out another bite for Holly. Holly smiled even wider.

It went on like that, Gail feeding the two of them, until the bowl was finished and she was putting it onto the table and then pushing Holly onto her back and straddling her hips.

"So about those thoughts."

Holly pulled her down and their morning became a hell of a lot more athletic.

---

The morning quickly faded into the early afternoon and the two girls still hadn't left Holly's bed.

"I thought you had to go to the lab today?"

Gail was laying across Holly, her ear pressed to Holly's stomach and she could hear the quiet rumbling. She could feel Holly's fingers running through her hair idly as she read from one of her textbooks. They still hadn't put on any clothes from their earlier escapades but Gail had convinced Holly to at least get some studying done so that she didn't have to feel quite as guilty for eating up her time. Holly had agreed but only if Gail promised to get more rest. It wasn't much of a trade.

"Technically, I don't have to. Plus, I can always go later."

"Holly," Gail rested her chin on Holly's abs and looked up at her seriously, "what you do is important. I don't want you to miss out on stuff just because of me."

Holly's eyes clouded with confusion for a minute, but then that warm smile appeared on her face, the one side quirking up just a bit higher than the other. "I'm not missing out on anything."

"I know that all that stuff that I said to you last night was really...messed up. And I just- I don't want you to feel like you need to be with me because I'm fragile or any of that shit."

Gail hated that she felt fragile, and there was still a lingering doubt in her head that kept telling her that Holly was only with her because she was a good person, too good of a person to dump her when she was so messed up. But if that were the case, it would only be a matter of time before Holly came to her senses and wearied of the burden.

Holly put down the book she had been reading. "Gail." She said calmly, pulling Gail out of her thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"I know that. And I'm not with you out of any sort of obligation. I'm with you because I want to be." Holly's voice was smooth as honey and dripping with an absolute conviction that had Gail hanging on every word. "But I need you to do something for me."

"What?"

"I need you to believe me. I will tell you as many times as you need to hear it to believe that it's true, because it is. But you don't need to keep giving me outs. I don't want to go anywhere."

"It's just..It's not really fair on you, Holly. My life just keeps blowing up and you keep picking up the pieces. And I don't...I don't think it's fair is all."

Gail didn't-she just couldn't-understand how Holly could stick with her through all the bullshit that was constantly happening when everyone else had left for a hell of a lot less. Why would Holly stay when she could easily leave and find something that was uncomplicated? Something that was simple.

"How about you let me worry about what's fair for me?" Holly sassed, before her features softened again. "I know you don't really trust people, but I wish I could just get you to trust me on this. I'm doing what I want. I want to be with you. You make me happy and that's all I really care about. I know that if I needed you, you'd be there. You've already proven it. So just let me be here for you."

"I do…trust you, I mean." Gail confessed quietly.

Holly knew, she knew how important that was. How hard it was for Gail to give that to anyone. And it filled her heart to the point that she felt like it would just about burst.

"Thank you."

They weren't quite the words Holly wanted to say just then. In fact, the phrase was one word short and another had to be exchanged, but it was still too soon to say anything like that. There would be time for that. At least Holly hoped there would be because she didn't want any of this to end. Not anytime soon...maybe not ev-...definitely not anytime soon.

"For what?"

"For trusting me. For being here with me, and for being lazy when I know you have stuff to do before work."

The mention of work certainly put a damper on things for Gail. She had been enjoying her quiet day with Holly and the thought of the loud, packed bar filled with people bitching at her and shouting to be heard over everyone else had her half-tempted to tell Charlie she quit. But she needed money more than ever.

"Speaking of, as much as I don't want to, I'm going to have to take a shower soonish, since some big-brained vixen kept me trapped in her bed all day."

"Want some company?"

"Mmhmm. But not yet, we still have a little bit of time."

"Well I don't think we should waste it." Holly pushed the book entirely off the bed, then she reached for her girlfriend, pulling the smirking blonde on top of her.

Gail's lips hovered just out of reach, knowingly tempting her. "Since when is studying wasting time for a nerd?"

"Since this nerd has a super hot naked woman in her bed."

"Hmmm wasn't a problem before."

"Oh, it was very much a problem before but someone said she needed a rest."

Holly went to kiss her but Gail pulled back indignantly, "Hey, that is not my fault. I can only burn through so many calories in one day."

"Well do you feel rested now?"

"Very."

"Then why are we still talking?"

Holly quickly pulled Gail down, crashing their lips together, and cutting off whatever smartass remark she was certain was about to come out of her mouth with her own. But before she could actually make good use of their already naked status, Gail's phone pinged with a new text causing the blonde to reluctantly pull back.

"Ignore it."

"Can't."

Gail leaned over the edge of the mattress and retrieved her phone from her pants. She let out a long sigh as she read the new message.

"Who is it?"

"Chris. Apparently he needs his sister to come pick him up from the hospital. He says all the paperwork is done and he's asking me to stop by before I go to work."

"So I guess the shower has to be a real shower."

"And a quick one. Sorry."

Holly sat up, her hand running down Gail's back as she pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "Hey, don't be sorry. You're a good friend."

"Yeah...well...don't tell him that."

"I think he already knows."

Gail gave a smile, one that was dripping in far more melancholy than it should be after the morning had started out so well. She pressed her lips to Holly's quickly, trying to hide it, before getting up to head to the shower.

"You coming, Nerd?" She called over her shoulder as she left the room.

Holly shook her head at the shameless woman who walked through her apartment without a stitch of clothing, but she was quick to follow.

---

Gail barely had the car stopped before Chris was jumping into it.

"Thanks for coming to pick me up."

"Why didn't you call one of the others?"

"I just don't really feel like talking to anyone right now."

So Gail let the car lapse into silence, her fingers drumming quietly on the steering wheel to whatever song was playing on the radio. She didn't force him to talk and Chris didn't say a word until they had pulled in front of the girls' house and Gail had cut the engine.

"I called the program you found for me. I'm meeting with them while you guys are taking our midterm." Chris was staring out the window, his fingers nervously digging into the leather of Steve's car.

Gail glanced at her friend. He still looked like a shadow of himself. He was taking up less space than normal, especially for someone over six feet tall. His clothes were baggy, his hair still long, his skin even more pale against the dark interior of the car. But more than any of that, there was a spark still missing in him. She hoped therapy would be enough to help him get it back.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"You have a test to take."

"So?"

"No, I'll be alright. I need to do this myself."

"Alright, but you know you're not alone, right Chris?"

Chris glanced at her quickly, a fractured smile on his face, before he looked back out at their houses. "Yeah, I know."

They continued to sit. Gail making no move to rush her friend as Chris worked up the courage to go back into his house, to his room, where he had almost died.

"What time do you have work?"

"In like an hour, why?"

Chris ran a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his eyes. "Think you can give me a haircut?"

Gail's hand brushed through her own short locks. She easily remembered the night in Holly's bathroom. She had been wasted and hadn't given even an ounce of a shit as she chopped off her hair. It had only been after, when talking to Holly, that the realization had set in. But Holly had easily brought her back from the edge and cleaned up the mess she had made.

"I want to look as pretty as you," Chris added with a smirk.

"Shut up or I'm giving you a mullet." But Gail couldn't hide the smile when she heard her friend's laugh, the closest to a real laugh she had heard from him in ages. "Come on Wolfman, let's get you cleaned up."

Gail stepped out of the car and didn't miss the deep breath Chris took before following suit. But he did, so maybe she wouldn't make him look like a complete tool.

---

"Hey bartender!"

Gail rolled her eyes. She really hated Traci right then. The waitress was spending her break wrapped up in Jerry leaving Gail with serving their ridiculous friends.

"I have a name, Anderson."

"Of course. Hey Goldilocks. Can I get three bears? I mean beers?"

"No."

"Come on. You know I'll just help myself." Frankie reached over the bar, but Gail easily slapped her away.

"And I'll break your hand, then what purpose would you serve."

But Frankie simply shrugged, "Good thing I have a spare."

Gail shook her head at the shit-eating grin on her housemate's face. "If I give you the beers, will you promise to send Ward over when you want a refill?"

"What? You don't want Sammy?"

"I said what I said."

"Deal."

Gail passed over the drinks and was relieved when Frankie walked away without any other stupid comments. She was halfway through her shift and already felt like she was dragging. She hadn't had time to stop for coffee before work and she was just tired of being in the bar, and all the noise, and people, and social interactions. Ugh.

"Nash, get your ass back to work!" She shouted across the room.

"You're not the boss!" Traci shouted back, not moving from the corner she had pulled Jerry into.

"Learn how to tell time!"

Frankie headed away from the shouting blonde and dropped into her seat as she passed out the drinks.

"I've been thinking…." Sam started to say.

"I've already warned you about that, Sammy. If you're not careful you're going to burn out that one brain cell you have that isn't controlled by your penis," Frankie told her friend seriously as Juliet laughed beside her.

Sam ignored the jibe. "Like I was saying, I've been thinking that we should go somewhere warm this summer. But just us. No freshmen."

"You really think Barber is going to go away and not want to bring Nash in a bathing suit with us?"

"What if I can convince him?"

"Then you want me to give up Chloe in a bikini." Frankie realized her mistake as confusion bloomed on Sam's face and a way too knowing smirk appeared on Juliet's so she was quick to distract them both. "And Juliet is going to give up seeing Nick in one?"

Juliet shoved her friend. "You're an asshole, Anderson."

"It'll probably be itsy bitsy."

"Shut up."

"Teenie weenie"

"I hate you."

"I've even heard it was yellow polka-dot."

Juliet rolled her eyes, "Are you done yet?"

Frankie mulled it over. "For now."

"Great, can we get back to the point of this conversation?" Sam asked.

"Oh, you mean the one where you are actively avoiding Andy so you're going to make all the rest of us suffer as a result?"

"Since when do you think going somewhere warm with no attachments and lots of hot women suffering?"

But Frankie had an attachment, so yeah, it would definitely be suffering. Still, she knew that wouldn't be enough to get Sam to change his mind so she tried to placate him. "It's a group thing, Sammy, if we invite all of the freshmen then it's not the type of commitment you're thinking of."

"You used to be more fun."

Frankie scowled but Juliet cut in first. "Well not to really throw a wrench in your plans or anything but none of us have the money to go somewhere warm." She was always the most practical one in the group.

"That's why we created the slush fund, plus if we book now we can find cheap flights." Sam reasoned.

"We created it because none of us could actually keep money in our pockets."

"Yeah, well, let's put it to a vote."

"Fine, but you gotta be the one who gets Jerry to stop flirting with his girlfriend." Frankie told him.

"Barber! Get your ass over here, buddy." Sam called across the bar.

Jerry checked the time and gave Traci one last kiss before heading over to his friends. "What?" He asked as he dropped into the seat beside Sam.

"Sammy wants a 'Seniors Only' trip this summer." Frankie explained. "We're voting now. Those in favor?"

Only Sam's hand rose.

"3-1, You lose Swarek and I didn't even have to mention the bikini."

Sam immediately punched Jerry in the arm. "Thanks for the help, brother."

"Cheer up, Sammy," Juliet told the sulking man-child. "It just means we'll be able to use the fund during Senior week."

"Well, now that my work here is done" Jerry punched Sam back and then tried to dodge out of his seat before the scuffle could continue.

But Frankie caught a hold of him before he could leave. "Hey. Why isn't Epstein in the Doghouse?"

The two boys exchanged a look then shrugged.

"Why would we put him there?" Sam asked before taking a sip of his beer.

"He still hasn't apologized to Gail." Frankie knew that Chloe had tried a few times to get the boy to pull his head out of his ass but apparently he was being even more stubborn than usual.

"Still?" Jerry asked.

Both Juliet and Frankie nodded in confirmation.

"Yeah, but like she doesn't live with us. And it was kinda really bad circumstances." Sam pointed out.

But Frankie folded her arms, her eyes narrowing into a glare that had even Sam squirming in his seat. "Just because you all like to act like assholes towards her shouldn't get him out of it. She didn't deserve it."

Both the guys stayed silent.

Traci passed by their table, but she paused when she noticed the growing tension amongst the group of older students. "What's wrong?"

Jerry's arm immediately found its way around Traci's waist and he pulled her a little closer. "Frankie wants us to put Epstein in the Doghouse."

"For how he treated Gail?"

"Yep."

"You should."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I apologized for flipping out on her when I shouldn't have. He should do the same. You should too."

"I was defending you."

"Noble, Jerr. But I was wrong and she's a really good friend when we aren't all being assholes to her."

Traci gave him a kiss on the cheek then left to serve her other tables. Jerry immediately headed to the bar, ignoring the sounds of a whip echoing behind him from his best friend.

"Hey Peck." Jerry called out as he settled onto one of the vacant stools.

Gail continued mixing drinks, focusing on her work even as she responded with an unenthused "What?"

Jerry cleared his throat nervously, "Can I ummm…"

"Spit it out, Barber."

"I just wanted to say that I was sorry." The words rushed out.

Gail finally looked up, confusion blooming across her face as she eyed the senior warily. "For what?"

"I uhh yelled at you that day when Traci was upset and umm I shouldn't have."

"Okay." Gail said slowly, like she still didn't trust that what was really happening.

Jerry scratched at the back of his head, "Ummm...yeah, I should've said it sooner. But I am now. So umm I'm sorry. Are we uhhh are we good?"

"I guess." Gail shrugged, her indifference settling back over her, retreating into her well-worn armor.

"Cool. Uhh yeah cool." Jerry stood, fairly certain he had already overstayed his welcome and starting to feel really awkward. But after seeing Gail's reaction he was pretty sure he needed to do something else to make it up to her.

"Also, I'll ummm buy your drinks later if you want." He offered.

Gail smirked, "Now we're talking Barber."

Jerry smiled at her and held out a hand for a bump.

"Don't push it."

He laughed. "Right, right." He winked at her before heading back to the others.

It was a weird interaction and Gail was still mulling it over when Traci passed by to collect her order.

"Did you make Jerry apologize to me?"

"I made Jerry realize that he needed to apologize."

"Why?"

"Because we haven't been very good friends to you this year. But you keep helping us. And it was the right thing to do."

"Oh…" Gail struggled to process the concept that maybe the assholes she lived with weren't quite as bad as they seemed. That maybe Oliver was right about their potential. It wasn't really a thought she wanted to consider right then.

She looked seriously at the waitress across from her, "You know I'm not going to start acting nicer towards any of you, right?"

Traci laughed, her bright smile breaking out across her face in amusement. "Wouldn't dream of it, Gail."

---

"What are you two doing in my room?" Holly dropped her bag onto her desk as she caught each of her roommates standing in her bedroom.

"Moving your bed." They both said as Rachel crouched to grab the bed frame. Lisa leaned against a dresser and watched the effort.

"I see that, I'm just wondering why?"

"Because your headboard is too close to the wall." Rachel pulled at the frame, moving it slightly away from the wall before exchanging a look with Lisa and sliding it farther out.

"What do you...oh." Holly could feel her cheeks burning hotly.

"Yeah, exactly." Rachel said as she dusted off her hands, satisfied with both embarrassing her best friend and hopefully solving some of the noise issues.

Lisa grabbed Holly's arm and pulled her towards the door, "Alright, come on, tonight's a wine night."

"Tonight should be a study night."

"You always say that."

Rachel caught her other arm and helped Lisa steer her towards the living room. "Yeah, come on, class is cancelled in the morning, we can study then. And we've been working all day."

Holly knew she should really use the time to study. She had already been using her "free" time to be with Gail. But with both of her best friends already dragging her into the living room, she decided not to fight it.

"Fine."

Lisa broke open the bottle her dads had given her after her latest break-up as the three girls settled into an old routine. They talked about school, and their classmates, and Rachel's latest disaster of a date, and Lisa's disaster of a relationship, until they finally circled their way to Holly.

"So when are you going to give Gail a key?"

"A key to what?"

"Your heart." Lisa deadpanned before one of her Oscar-worthy eyerolls. "Our apartment."

Holly was floored as the words left Lisa's mouth to the point that she nearly tipped over her glass causing the red liquid to dangerously slosh. "You hate Gail, you really want her to have full access to the apartment?"

"She already has access. She either sits out there like a stray cat until we let her in or she picks the lock."

"That was like three times max and once I forgot my key and another time Rachel forgot hers."

"While she would make a seriously hot criminal, she's lucky our neighbors didn't call the cops on her."

"She knows all the cops."

"Not the point."

"Then what is the point?"

"She's over here all the time anyway."

"She's not even here all that much."

"Yeah, only when she isn't at work or class, and you're not at her place."

"There's also the clinic." Holly mumbled, even though she got to see Gail there too. She took a sip of the wine in her hand, realizing that she had already lost.

"Yeah, exactly."

Rachel sat quietly during the exchange. She studied her friend carefully before asking "Is there a reason you don't want to give her a key?"

Holly sank lower in her seat. "We just haven't talked about anything like that."

"Do you two talk about anything or just have sex all the time? I mean I don't know why you would waste time talking." Holly glared at Lisa. "What? I may not like her, but she is hot."

"You don't like anyone." Rachel oh so helpfully pointed out.

Lisa shrugged, not denying the charge one bit.

Rachel turned the focus back onto Holly. "So back to why you don't want to give Gail a key..."

"It's not that I don't want to, I just don't want to rush things or freak her out or anything."

"It's a key, Holly, not an engagement ring." Rachel said.

"And you better not even think about Uhauling yet, I mean it, Stewart." Lisa warned.

Holly fiddled with the glass in her hand, "I'm not going anywhere. You know that."

"Yeah, well, we all know how lesbians are." Both Rachel and Lisa clinked glasses while Holly rolled her eyes.

"I'm not like that."

"Mmhmm."

"I'm not. I didn't even give Jess a key."

"Jess already had a key and an open invite thanks to Lisa." Rachel pointed out.

Lisa nodded, "Truth."

"So you didn't need to. And you were living with your first girlfriend already when you two hooked up."

"She was never my girlfriend." Holly muttered.

But Rachel continued. "And there's no one else that you've ever been super serious about."

"Yeah...okay…but... what if it freaks her out?"

"Is she still being skittish?"

"No, but maybe-maybe this will be too much."

"She likes you."

Holly snorted, taking a much larger sip of her drink. Of course Gail liked her. They wouldn't be dating if she didn't. So that wasn't exactly the most reassuring argument and it certainly didn't address the real issue, that Gail had enough on her plate and had only recently even settled into the idea of a real relationship. This might be one too many commitment hurdles to jump at one time.

"She likes you enough to spend all her free time here. This will just make it easier for her. If anything you'd be doing her a favor so she didn't have to sneak around constantly."

"Unless of course you two get off on that." Lisa added.

Holly rolled her eyes. "You had to go there."

"What? I don't know what kind of kinky shit you two are into."

"What's really bothering you, Holls?" Rachel asked as she pulled the bottle of wine from Lisa to refill her own glass and distract her before the two dissolved into a legitimate argument. She knew how much Lisa enjoyed saying outrageous things just to try to get a reaction out of Holly, who rarely rose to the bait. But when it came to Gail, she also knew that Holly had a much lower threshold for Lisa's comments.

"It's just bad timing."

"Why? You two have been together for months now, she has seriously been in and out of this apartment all hours of the day and the night for most of the year at this point."

"Yeah, but she's had a lot going on lately, and things are really good for us. Why rock the boat?"

"You really think she's going to freak out."

"I'd rather not take the chance."

Lisa could only stay quiet for so long. "I say, if she isn't serious enough about you, just dump her super fine ass."

"Weren't you literally just telling me to give her a key?"

"Yeah, but not if it's going to stress you out this much. You're like seriously freaked right now and we're just talking about it."

"Is it too much for you?" Rachel was always the more gentle of the two.

"No. It's not that. Gail has been... Gail is amazing. And it's not overwhelming me. I don't know. I'm just scared it's going to be too much for her."

Lisa rolled her eyes. "For what? You're the one in med school. She's still at the University for undergrad. Freshman year was a joke."

"Okay" Holly's eyes narrowed as she sat up straight. "First of all, she has two majors, you know how hard that was for me. She works constantly. She shadows at the police station, plus, she volunteers at the clinic. And when she's not doing all that, she's helping out her friends or me."

She glared at Lisa, silently challenging her to try to belittle Gail again in front of her. Holly had always prided herself on her even-temper, especially with her obnoxious but usually well-meaning best friend. But not now. Not with Lisa talking about Gail. Her friends were right, her relationship with Gail was different than the others. She cared more. Felt more. Wanted more.

"Why does she work so much?" Rachel innocently wondered aloud. "Steve always had money."

Holly deflated. Of course her friends remembered Steve back at college. He had hung out with all the girls plenty of times. There was even a span where he had tried to date Rachel but she kept rejecting him.

"It's complicated."

"Did her parents not take finding out about being a lesbian well?"

"More like they didn't take finding out about me well. Remember how I pretended to be Steve's date?"

"I still don't understand why he didn't just take his real girlfriend."

"Because she works for the same division. And if they didn't like her they'd trash her career." At the time, she had thought Steve was being a bit dramatic but now that she had seen what the Pecks were capable of with their own children, she didn't doubt what they would do to someone they viewed as an obstacle. It caused Holly's guilt to settle even deeper into her gut, twisting and pulling at her insides. Gail was taking the brunt of it with her parents, probably to protect Holly from them. It made her glad she was in the medical field and not law enforcement.

"Wow, guess it's a good thing I never agreed to those dates."

"Yeah, well, Gail is more than worth it."

"So then what's the problem?"

Holly stayed silent, the wine in her glass spinning in a circle as she gently twirled the cup in her hand. She focused on that instead of the faces of her best friends whom she knew were waiting for an answer. It was the same fear she had expressed to Frankie, the one that hadn't vanished on its own like she had hoped it would if she just ignored the little voice at the back of her mind telling her that she wasn't enough. That she wasn't worth what Gail was going through for her.

"Come on, Holls, it's us. You know you can tell us anything."

"What if asking her to move in, what if it's- what if that's the thing that gets her to realize that I'm not worth it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You guys are my friends. You're eternally obligated to be on my side and tell me that I'm amazing. But the truth is that Gail's life would be easier if she wasn't dating me."

"Gail would be an idiot to give you up, and even I don't think she's that stupid."

"Shut up, Lisa. Gail is incredibly smart, and gorgeous, and surprisingly giving."

"I bet she is."

Holly threw a pillow at her. "You know what I meant."

"I really think you're overthinking this." Rachel said.

But Holly felt like she wasn't. It was just hard to explain. Holly let Lisa refill her glass before she spoke again.

"Everyone I've ever been with always made it seem like I was the one who was lucky to be with them. But Gail, she doesn't act like that at all."

"Alright, Jess is one of my best friends, and even though I still think the two of you could've made it work, if she made you feel like that then you were right to dump her."

Holly was visibly shocked. It was one of the only times, Lisa had ever verbally sided against Jess, considering she was one of her oldest friends. She smiled when Lisa winked at her from across the room.

"Have you told Gail any of this?" Rachel asked.

The smile fell and Holly slunk lower on the smaller couch, "I barely want to talk about it with you two. Or Frankie."

"Well those are two peas in a pod. What did Frankie say?"

"That I was being an idiot and to just keep being me and that would be enough for Gail."

"I never thought I would say this, but I agree with Francine." Lisa commented dryly.

"Yeah, Holls," Rachel was quick to add, "that girl is really into you. And you two seem to be good for each other."

"Yeah, when she isn't distracting you from studying."

"Lisa!"

"Or keeping us up all night with your loud sex."

"Okay, we've all been guilty of that one" Holly looked at her pointedly, "And there's no reason to be jealous."

Lisa's jaw dropped, "I am NOT jealous."

"She's totally jealous." Rachel poked her side with her foot, laughing as Lisa swatted her away.

"Whatever, all I'm saying is that no one has ever distracted you like she does."

Holly sighed, "There's been a lot going on this year." It wasn't Gail's fault that they had met during the year from hell.

"Yeah, just don't forget about yourself. Make sure she appreciates you, and stop worrying so much."

Holly wanted to just shrug it off but she knew that her friends were genuinely concerned for her. She sat quietly, staring at the glass in her hand as she swirled the wine around and around.

Rachel leaned over, stretching as far as she could to give her arm a squeeze. "Look if it's too much pressure then you don't have to give her a key, all we're saying is that if you want to then we're okay with it."

"Okay. Thank you." She was relieved to have the conversation over and let out a deep breath as she waited for the focus to shift back to Lisa, like usual.

"So how is the sex?"

She choked on air. "Lisa?!"

"What? I gotta live vicariously through someone right now."

"She makes a good point." Rachel agreed, sitting up eagerly. "Spill, Holls."

Holly narrowed her eyes, "I thought you two could hear it already."

The comment set off a loud argument amongst the three roommates, that only got louder the more wine they consumed. Rachel and Lisa had been right. Holly really had needed a girls' night.

But she sure as shit wasn't going to tell them that.

---

"What the fuck? Why is my stuff outside?" Dov stood over his belongings that were laid out on the front lawn next to the damned tent with the word "Doghouse" hanging on it.

Sam and Jerry each dumped another armful of things onto the pile. "That's your new bed, Epstein." Sam informed him.

"Like hell it is." Dov went towards the front door but both Jerry and Sam easily blocked the path. He tried to push his way past them but the two older boys were unmovable. "Let me in."

"Nope."

Dov stepped back, his anger making it harder for him to breathe but he didn't want to use his inhaler in front of the others. "Why not?"

"You're in the Doghouse until you apologize to Gail for being an asshole to her at the hospital."

"Fuck off." He was ready to try forcing his way in again when Chris appeared in the doorway. He turned to him instead. "You let them put my stuff out here. Seriously?"

Chris stepped around the seniors. "You need to apologize to Gail. I'm lucky to be alive because of her."

"You almost died because of her."

"I almost died because of me. She is the only reason I didn't."

"So what? You go to one fucking meeting and you're already on the making amends stage?" Dov was breathing harder, his hand twitching near his pocket but still not taking out his medication.

Chris stood his ground, easily towering over his best friend as he folded his arms. "She's our friend and you need to apologize."

"Yeah, and I'm supposed to be your best friend. And this is how you treat me? Thanks for having my back, brother."

"Just say you're sorry and you can have your bed back."

"You know what? Fuck all of you too." Dov turned to grab his stuff off the lawn. His chest heaving and heart quickening as he felt the air trapping in his lungs. He couldn't hold it off any longer, taking a puff from his inhaler and feeling the tightness in his chest loosen. But being able to breath didn't change his mood in the slightest. He quickly scooped up some clothes and whatever else he could hold while texting his girlfriend as he finally stormed off.

Gail and Traci walked up to their house just as Dov was fuming down the sidewalk. He stopped long enough to glare at Gail before roughly shouldering his way past her without a word.

"Asshole." Gail muttered under her breath as she rubbed at her shoulder. Traci asked if she was okay but she shrugged it off, way more concerned with the clusterfuck on the guys' lawn.

"Umm is that the tent they made Gerald sleep in?"

"Why is it so hard for you to remember the name Duncan?" Traci asked.

Gail shrugged, "He acts like a Gerald."

"Pretty sure that's Dov's new bed."

"What the- Why?"

"Because he needs to learn how to apologize."

"To who?"

"You, Peck." Sam told her as the boys walked across the lawn, cutting into the conversation as Jerry wasted no time taking his place by Traci's side, he lifted her slightly off her feet as he kissed her.

Gail was flabbergasted. "Me? You kicked him out because of me?"

"Rules are rules."

"What are you talking about?"

"Friends aren't allowed to be dicks to other friends." Jerry explained, his arms were wrapped loosely around Traci's waist as she leaned back into him.

"So then why is Sam ever allowed in?"

"Ooooooooooooooo"

Everyone but Sam laughed.

"That is an excellent question." Jerry was still snickering.

"Would you rather us ignore what he did?" Sam challenged.

But Gail remained unimpressed. "You guys did before. What changed?"

Jerry had that sheepish look on his face again, the same one that appeared when he was making his apology at the bar that night. "Yeah, well, we should've done it sooner."

"So what? He has to sleep outside until…." Gail trailed off. She still didn't fully understand the Little Rascals mentality of the grown "men" living next door to her.

"Until he apologizes and you accept."

Gail locked eyes with Chris. "You're all okay with this?"

He nodded resolutely, "He needs to apologize to you." There was a conviction to his tone that Gail hadn't heard in...well in far too long.

"Right, well ummm you guys didn't have to. I can take care of myself."

Sam laughed, "Oh trust us, Peck, we know. We all still remember what you did to Nick's face."

"And don't you forget it." She was more than slightly pleased at her intimidation tactics. It was something she'd have to remember to tell Holly about.

"I don't know. I think she's all bark." Traci teased. She poked her friend in the side but had to move quickly to get out of Gail's reach. She had no qualms about shoving Jerry into the path of retaliation.

He held his hands up in defense as Gail glowered at the two of them. "Please don't kill my girlfriend. She's pretty and I love her."

Both Sam and Gail's lips curled up.

"You two are gross."

"Yeah I need another drink after witnessing that."

Sam was the first to start heading back to the house. Jerry and Traci were quick to follow leaving just Chris and Gail outside.

"You didn't come to the Penny, tonight. You doing alright?"

Chris nodded. "It's probably better if I stay away from alcohol for awhile."

"Right, of course." Gail silently cursed herself for not thinking about that. She was just worried about what he could get into if left on his own.

Chris scratched at the back of his head, his fingers running smoothly over the still freshly buzzed strands. It felt good to get rid of his long hair. Almost like a clean slate. "I went to a meeting tonight."

"How was it?"

"It sucked but it's a part of the program, right?"

"Right."

An awkward silence settled and Gail started to feel the length of the day settling into her muscles, the effects of gravity taking its toll. Despite her lazy start she was still bone tired.

Chris kicked at the ground, scuffing the tip of his sneaker on the concrete. He wasn't even looking at her as he asked "Would you-do you want to play some Mario Kart?"

Gail really didn't want to when her bed was less than fifty feet away but there was something so earnest in the way Chris had asked that she found it impossible to refuse. She was pretty sure he was avoiding his room and going to sleep, and that was something she knew all too well.

"Are you asking me if I want to kick your ass at Mario Kart? Because the answer is obviously hell yes. But you have to give me a ride."

Chris laughed. It was a good laugh, a real laugh, a familiar laugh. And it felt good to see him smile and shake his head at her, the way he always did at her most ridiculous requests, whether it was for coffee on a day she was too hungover to properly function or to be carried from Frankie's room like the queen that she was. Yeah, Gail had missed her friend.

Without a word, Chris bent down slightly so Gail could hop up onto his back and carried her into his house, dropping her onto the couch where she easily settled into his side once they both had a controller in hand. Things were different now, but for just a little while the two friends forgot about some of the shittiness and just focused on having a little fun together.

---

Chloe struggled to catch her breath as she followed her best friend through the park. The cold air felt lodged in her lungs but she didn't want to be left behind. She watched him effortlessly grab hold of a bar, pulling himself into the air.

She groaned. "I can't, Nick. I can't.

She tried to do the same but dropped uselessly back to the ground.

"Oh, my god. How is it that lifting myself up with my own arms is utterly impossible?"

"Come on, you can do it." Nick watched her struggle a little longer before he hopped down. Going behind Chloe, he grabbed hold of her waist. "Here. Let's go. Come on. Ready?" He lifted his friend so that she could hold herself on the bar high above the ground.

"Why are we doing this again?"

"We're in training."

"For what? Dying with a six-pack that no one's ever gonna get the chance to touch because I'm dead?"

"No," Nick purposefully focused on what he was doing, choosing not to look at his friend's face as he told her, "I'm thinking about enlisting."

Choe continued to dangle from the bar well above her head. "What? You're leaving me? You're my favorite friend."

"Yes, Chloe, this is all about you."

"Is this about Juliet graduating?"

"No."

"Is it about Andy?"

"No."

"Gail?"

"No."

She was out of women to blame it on. "What is it?"

"Look, I just need a change, okay?" Nick dropped from the bar and took off again.

"Two." Chloe squeaked before dropping too and reluctantly trying to catch up even as her body protested every movement. She hoped the run ended soon. Or her body passed out from the exertion. She really didn't care as long as either option came quickly.

It didn't come quickly, but they eventually reached the end of the circuit and Chloe immediately collapsed onto the ground the moment Nick said they were done.

"So what are the big birthday plans?" Even Nick sounded winded as he stood over his fallen comrade.

Chloe's lungs desperately took in air as her body soaked in the cold from the grass below her. She was panting and her muscles felt all squiggly, but just the mention of her birthday had her usual smile returning.

"Uh, well, Frankie has kept it all on the D.L., which means it'll probably be epic. But, honestly, I'd be happy with my old birthday tradition."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"Well, don't laugh. It's kind of dorky."

"I won't laugh." Chloe gave him a look, so Nick held up his hand "I swear."

"I like to eat popcorn and watch The Breakfast Club."

"The what?"

"You know? The movie?"

Nick looked at her blankly, "I really don't."

Chloe was horrified by her friend's heathenism. "It's from the 80s. Totally vintage. John Hughes. Band of misfits fitting together."

"Oh, well that's very sweet. It is dorky, but it's sweet."

"Yeah, well, I've been watching it for years. My sister loves-loved his movies. So it's something we always did together growing up."

Nick understood. "I take it back. It's not dorky at all."

"It is, but it's okay. I like it."

"Does Frankie know about your tradition?"

"Ummm…I don't know….but like it's okay. I'm sure she has plans anyway."

Nick couldn't stop from scoffing, "Does she even know it's your birthday?

Chloe's eyes narrowed. She didn't appreciate Nick's tone whenever he spoke about Frankie. "She's not as bad as you think she is."

"I just don't want you to be disappointed."

"I won't be." The ever optimistic redhead had no doubts that Frankie would have something (anything) planned for her birthday.

"I hope so." Nick mumbled to himself as he pulled her off the ground.

"I know so."

Nick shook his head, but let the argument drop as he followed his limping friend back to their houses.

---

Chloe's skin was still warm and soft from her shower. Frankie had no problem running her hands along each curve. Her thumbs easing their way into her muscles. She bit back a laugh as Chloe groaned.

"Did breaking your body really seem like a good idea in the middle of exams?" It was wrong but she couldn't stop herself from poking fun at the younger girl.

"It was supposed to help with stress."

"I thought I helped you with stress."

"You do when you're not being an asshole."

"Fair enough. But you gotta admit that when I wear you out you usually feel better not worse."

"Mmmhmmm." Chloe hummed in agreement as Frankie's hands worked along her strained muscles, she could feel the way Frankie tried to restrain herself, being careful not to cause her any more pain. It was sweet, though she knew better than to tell Frankie that.

She thought of her conversation with Nick. She hadn't given up hope that her best friend and her girl-whatever they were-would get along, because she knew that he didn't get to see her like this. He never saw the way Frankie tries when she wasn't getting in her own way. He didn't understand the bigger picture.

But his doubts echoed in her mind, even as her body felt boneless with the way Frankie was pampering her. She just needed to ask in a super casual, super sneaky way.

"Oh,"

Frankie's hands immediately stopped, "Good oh or bad oh? Did I hurt you?"

"What? No, silly, and since when are you worried about hurting me?"

"Since I had to watch Collins literally dump you in a heap in the shower because you couldn't get up the stairs." Frankie braced herself on the bed, leaning forward and dropping her voice. "Plus, we usually establish safe words if it's going to hurt."

Chloe snorted, "Fair, but it's not like I said pumpernickel. Now please resume spoiling me."

Frankie laughed, but did as she was told. "So what was the oh about?"

"I wanted to ask you something before I forget. Any big plans for this weekend?"

Frankie's fingers dragged up towards Chloe's shoulders. Her lips pressed a soft kiss against Chloe's neck. "I'm sure there's going to be a lot of drinking involved." She mumbled before pressing another kiss just below her ear.

"Yeah, totes. But you don't have anything special planned?"

Frankie sat back up. "I mean we all usually just spend the weekend bar hopping but that's not really special. Am I missing something?" She focused on working the tension out of Chloe's muscles.

"What? No. I was just wondering since you guys seem to have all kinds of traditions and stuff."

"Mmhmm. Well I usually like to spend an extra amount of time in bed. Think you can help me with that tradition?"

"Mmmhmm." Was all Chloe could muster as Frankie's hands traveled down her back again.

"Seriously, what possessed you to try cross-training?"

"Nick promised me a six pack."

"I like your body, you don't need to workout with Collins."

"Says the person who goes to the gym like everyday."

"I don't come home unable to move." Frankie's hands traveled lower, palms shifting to the luscious globes begging for her attention. "In fact, I usually come home ready to go."

Chloe's body twitched, a different groan getting caught in her throat. "I kinda dislike Nick right now."

"While I fully support that sentiment, he did give me an excuse to touch you."

"Since when do you need an excuse?" Frankie hit a particularly good spot. "Oh my gawd...You are really good at that."

"I'm good at a lot of things. I can show you if you want. Help you unwind a little better."

"I thought that's what you were already doing."

"I was only getting started. How gentle do I need to be?" Frankie's hands tickled along Chloe's sides, only lightly grazing, but making her squirm more.

"Not that gentle."

"No?" Frankie bent lower to press her lips against Chloe's shoulder, not even enough to make a dent on her skin.

"No." Chloe said more firmly before she turned around under Frankie's legs, ignoring the way her muscles protested, but it was so worth it when she saw the way Frankie licked her lips as her eyes coasted over Chloe's body.

It was supposed to be a power move, a way to get Frankie to take action but when green eyes caught sight of the smug grin on Chloe's face, Frankie decided that a little more teasing couldn't possibly hurt.

She kept her touch light, tracing from Chloe's hips, up along her sides, under her breasts, before travelling back down, applying more pressure as she hooked around her hips and pulled her closer.

"Where's your roommate?"

"Class." Chloe gasped as Frankie's hand shifted, "Then she goes right to work."

"So we have time?"

Frankie's touch was fleeting. Teasing. Torturous.

"Nope. I totally take it back. She should be home any minute."

"Oh, so maybe I should stop?"

"The only thing you should stop doing is teasing me."

Frankie cocked an eyebrow, a familiar smirk taking over. "Where's the fun in that?"

---

Arguably the best thing about college was that when the professor didn't feel like teaching it meant class let out early, and that meant Gail could squeeze in a nap before work. She knew that she should probably use the time to study, but she was exhausted. She couldn't even blame it on nightmares since she wasn't spending nearly enough time in bed to let her body hit that point. But it was catching up to her and her only thoughts were on how quickly she could make it from campus to the sanctity of her room. Thank God she still had Steve's car.

Heading straight to her bedroom, Gail had a one-track mind, and didn't even hesitate to throw open her door. But she immediately regretted that decision after only taking one step in.

"Oh come fucking on. There's a lock on the door for a reason."

Gail slammed the door shut behind her, marching right back down the stairs and out of her house. She was back in Steve's car and had two options. Head down the street to her girlfriend's house or make the trek to Steve's apartment. It was a no brainer.

---

"I need bleach." Gail complained as she pushed past Holly in the doorway and went straight to the med student's room.

But Holly didn't miss a beat as she let her girlfriend storm through her apartment, "Who'd you kill and where's the body?"

"Okay, I'm going to be honest and let you know that it's kind of a major turn on that that's your first response." Gail turned around and kissed her. "But that is not why I need it."

"What happened?"

Gail collapsed onto Holly's bed. "Stupid Price and Anderson didn't lock the door."

"Oh." Holly laughed at the gagging face Gail made. "Haven't you all walked in on each other in a variety of compromising positions."

"Yes and each one has left a permanent scar on my retina. I really didn't need to see Frankie turning my roommate into a snack."

"Aw, poor baby." Holly tutted. She ran her hand through Gail's hair, relishing the way the soft strands easily slipped through her fingers. "Do you need a distraction?"

"Aren't you busy?"

"Not too much." The open computer, three textbooks, stacks of papers, colored pens and homemade whiteboard all stretched out across Holly's floor begged to differ.

"That's a yes. I should've gone over to the guys' house." Gail pulled herself up and was ready to get off the bed, but Holly was already pushing her back down and climbing onto her lap.

"No," Holly gave her a reassuring kiss. "You are always welcome here. But how about we settle for a small distraction then we can both get back to our work? You're not done with your exams yet."

Gail's hands moved to Holly's thighs, flexing into the muscles there as Holly slipped her glasses off her head and tossed them onto her books on the floor. Her heart rate picked up even more when she saw the crooked smile on Holly's face. The med student knew exactly what she was doing to her.

"So bossy."

"Are you complaining?"

"No, ma'am."

"Good. Less talking. More distracting."

Holly leaned in and connected their lips to accentuate her point. Gail let her set the pace, easing into the familiarity of kissing Holly. How could something that was still so new feel like...like this?

Their relationship was barely off the ground. Even their kisses still held that allure that there was a lot of territory yet to be discovered. But there was just something. If Gail believed in such things, she would swear that they had been together in past lives, or different universes, maybe a different galaxy. If she were the type, Gail would believe that no matter the circumstances they could find each other; whether it was here in Toronto, or in San Francisco, or in Vancouver; whether Gail was a cop or a detective or a gangster or a spy and Holly could be a pathologist, or work in the emergency room, or be a veterinarian, or work in a bookstore; whether they were on a farm in the middle of nowhere, in a park beyond hungover, or on a lawn quoting Shakespeare to each other, she was fairly certain that they could find each other. Because everything about this felt right.

When she was with Holly she felt like she was where she belonged.

The feeling of Holly pressing harder against her pulled her out of her own whimsical thoughts, grounding her deeply in reality and not the hypotheticals. She melted into their kisses, the soft, easy way their lips moved together. Her body relaxed entirely as she fell back towards the bed, pulling Holly down with her. It was soft...and warm...and nice...

And then she yawned.

Holly pulled back with a laugh, "Well that sounds promising." There was obvious amusement written all over her face.

"Sorry." Gail mumbled, trying to hide her face flushed from kissing and from embarrassment.

"You didn't tell me you were heading home for a nap."

"I was heading home for a nap." Gail offered, a tad late at that point.

Holly smirked and playfully rolled her eyes, while her hands came up to tangle into Gail's hair of their own accord. It was a habit that she couldn't seem to control any more than her body's ability to breathe without conscious effort. Gail's eyes closed against the touch and without the piercing blue to distract her, Holly noticed the carefully concealed bags under her eyes.

"Are you still having nightmares?"

Gail's eyes opened again. She knew where the concern was stemming from. But for once that really wasn't the issue.

"Honestly. I haven't really been sleeping enough to know. Between work and classes I haven't really had time."

"Why don't you just stay here tonight?" Then Holly could ensure that Gail at least attempted to get a proper night's sleep.

Gail sighed, her eyes had drifted closed again as Holly's fingers continued to brush gently through her hair. "I have work."

Holly felt an unpleasant clenching in her stomach. The deeply rooted guilt coming back to the surface again. "Honey, maybe you're working too much."

"Nah, I'm good." Gail mumbled, another yawn soon following. "I just need to rest my eyes for a minute."

If Gail had had the energy she might have been able to open her eyes. She might have seen the worried look on her girlfriend's face. But she was already drifting off, so she didn't see it at all.

---

"Boss, I need a raise."

A basketball game had drawn a large crowd into the bar on a weeknight. They were still packed, even without most of the normal college crowd. Even Charlie had come to the front to help Gail deal with the sports mob.

"You work on tips, and here's one from me: be nicer to your customers and there's your raise."

Gail rolled her eyes.

"How about you unbutton that top of yours sweetheart and I'll be more than happy to give you a raise?" One of the sweaty guys seated at the bartop leaned across the counter and leered.

Gail and her employer exchanged a look.

"Would you like me to?" Charlie offered but Gail quickly shook her head. She cracked her knuckles and stared down at the grimy man on the other side of her bar.

"Listen you pathetic excuse for a homo sapien. Even in a universe in which a buffoon like you actually stood a chance at getting any woman's attention, let alone mine, the fact that you are dumb enough to think that that's the way to do it makes me really wish that natural selection still existed just to ensure that someone like you never procreates. But try speaking to me like that again and I'll do it for nature."

The man's face reddened with both anger and embarrassment, his mouth gaping making him look like a trout. He turned his attention to Charlie. "You gonna let her talk to me like that?"

"You're lucky I'm letting her handle it, if it were up to me you would already be outside bleeding."

The man stood, chest puffed, and a shaking hand pointing at the bar-owner. "You threatenin' me?"

"No, me telling you that if you ever come back here or I so much as catch you looking at one of my employees again I'll break every bone in your body is me threatening you. That was me just telling you the facts."

The man continued to hold his ground glaring between the two behind the bar. Clearly not taking the hint, Charlie kept his eyes trained on the soon-to-be-former customer and shouted into the dining room.

"Hey Sammy, Jerry. You two want free drinks tonight?"

The two boys were up and out of their seats before the offer even left Charlie's mouth.

"Escort this asshole off my premises and that's your commission."

While no one would ever argue that Sam and Jerry were the largest or most intimidating dudes, they certainly tried as they made their way over, muscles flexing.

As Sam reached for the guy he shrugged him off, pointing at Charlie. "You're gonna regret this."

"Doubtful."

The man knocked over a stool in his rage as he headed towards the door with his two shadows keeping him company until he was at least half a block away.

By the time they came back in, Gail already had two beers waiting on the counter for them.

---

"Hey,"

Frankie didn't bother looking up from the computer on her lap as she lounged across her bed. "Stop right there, Collins. You know the rules."

Nick froze mid-step just as he was about to walk through the open doorway. He held his hands up in defense, "I just need to talk to you for a sec."

"And you can do it from right there. No penises are allowed in my room unless you want me to render you useless to Juliet."

"I'm going to tell her you're threatening me...again."

"Go for it. And while you're at it. Go away."

"I will, jeeze, I just wanted to talk to you about Friday." His conversation with Chloe was still weighing heavily upon him. Even he wasn't entirely certain about how the two of them had become friends but they had, and he cared about Chloe like a little sister. So he wasn't about to trust Frankie not to disappoint her.

"What about it?"

"You do know what day it is, right?"

"Last day of exams."

"Wow, alright, you really are going to mess this up." Nick grumbled.

"Mess what up?" Frankie finally looked at him. "Chloe's birthday? No, Collins, I know it might be surprising, but I can actually read a calendar without a man doing it for me."

"She's my friend and I just wanted to make sure she wasn't disappointed is all. It's bad enough that her family is going to miss it and she's already upset enough about that. I just don't want her upset the day of."

"She won't be."

Nick waited, but Frankie ignored him and focused back on the story she was reading. After a while she heard him clear his throat.

"Why are you still standing there?"

"So are you going to tell me what you have planned?"

"Nope, just follow Jules wherever she goes on Friday. Shouldn't be that hard for you to manage, considering you do it every other day."

"You're Juliet's best friend and I'm Chloe's we should really learn how to get along."

"How about I get back to my work and you move along and we just split the difference?"

Nick opened his mouth and then closed it. He gave a curt nod and turned around to head back across the hallway.

"Oh and Collins," Frankie called out, the boy turned back. "If she asks, tell her I have no clue."

"Shouldn't be too hard to get her to believe that."

Frankie's eyes narrowed and Nick met her gaze evenly for a minute before smirking and meandering back to Juliet's room. Frankie may not like him, but she could respect how much he cared about Chloe, and he clearly had more of a spine than most of the guys she knew. Afterall, he had to if he had managed to convince Gail to date him more than once.

As soon as the boy left, she reached for her phone.

---

"So what are we looking for?" Holly hadn't asked too many questions when she got the desperate SOS text from her friend. She was in the middle of studying and warned Frankie that whatever crisis she had gotten herself into only had an hour time limit. Frankie had accepted the terms and then picked her up before driving to a random antique store.

"Birthday present for Chloe."

"Okay so what do you have in mind?"

Frankie glanced around helplessly, more than a little overwhelmed by the sheer volume of junk. "I have no idea."

"Good start. I see you've put a lot of thought into this." Holly laughed at the dirty look she received, utterly unfazed.

Frankie's hand ran through her hair, an unfamiliar nervousness getting to her. "Look I know what I plan on doing, which reminds me, you're coming on Friday, right?"

"Sure. Where are we going?"

"I'll text you the details later."

"Alright." Holly made an impressed face as she watched the way Frankie carefully studied the object closest to her, "So maybe you did put some thought into this."

"I just need a gift." Frankie felt her wallet cry as she looked at the price tag on one of the nearby items in the shop. "Something I can actually afford preferably."

Holly looked over too and grimaced, "I don't think she needs anything too expensive."

"I know. But Chloe likes antiques."

"Which cost money."

"Yeah. But she likes things with stories, so…"

"So we are going to wander around until you see something that you think she'll like."

"Pretty much."

"Alright, let's carry on shall we?"

The two girls made their way through the cramped boutique, pausing every so often if something caught their eyes but mostly working in silence. Frankie got caught up looking for the perfect gift, while Holly found her mind wandering more than her feet.

The truth was that studying hadn't been going well. It was why Holly had been willing to drop what she was doing without too many questions asked, not that she wouldn't normally do so to help her friends, but considering it wasn't a life or death crisis she would've tried to be responsible and push it off until her work was done. But that day she found her thoughts constantly revolving around the idea of giving Gail a key to her apartment. After her conversation with Rachel and Lisa, she had gone out and had a spare copy made but she still wasn't sure if she should actually give it to Gail. Especially with the amount of stress that she could see Gail was under. And yet, she couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Are you actually looking at the things you hand me?" Frankie crossed her arms, refusing to take the object being held out to her.

Holly startled, pulling her thoughts back to the storeroom and the clearly annoyed brunette standing next to her. "What? Of course I am."

"Mmmhmm, you handed me that same ring three times now."

"Maybe you should buy it."

"It costs $300. I don't like anyone that much."

Holly glanced at the price tag in her hand. She quickly dropped it back with the others. "Oh. Right. Sorry."

"Alright, I really hope you're just distracted because you're thinking about Gail naked and not that you two messed things up again."

"No one messed anything up." Frankie shot her a disbelieving look. "I mean it."

"Okay, so what are you thinking about then?"

"Lisa and Rachel suggested that I give Gail a key."

"Oh." Frankie was genuinely surprised.

Holly bit her lip nervously, "What do you think?"

"I don't know. It's kind of a big step. Is it really necessary?"

"Not all of us live with our girlfriends so…"

"Hey, Chloe and I were living together when all this started. So not my fault."

"Yeah, well, that still doesn't solve my dilemma. Do you think Gail will freak out if I give her a key?"

"Why are you asking me?" Holly tilted her head and gave her best you-have-to-be-shitting-me face to her friend. "Okay, fine, whatever. You're not asking her to move in with you right?"

"No."

"Then no I don't think she'll freak out." It was a new level of intimacy but if the blonde freshman had been willing to label their relationship, come out to her parents, and spend most of her time at Holly's place, then receiving a key shouldn't come as that much of a shock.

But it gave Frankie another thought. "Speaking of freak outs. Have you talked to her about yours?"

"It was a momentary lapse in judgement."

"It was a freak out. You freaked yourself out."

"Why does Gail need to know that?"

"Because you should be able to talk to your girlfriend about how you're feeling."

"Who are you, and what have you done with Frankie Anderson?"

"Ha..ha..ha...you're so funny. I'm being serious. Not every relationship you're in has to be a one-way street. And I'm saying that as your friend who has watched you let your girlfriends treat you like shit over the years."

"Gail doesn't treat me like that."

"I know she doesn't. If she did, I would kick her ass myself. But you always put the other person first. Their needs. Their feelings. Maybe it's time you put yourself out there."

Holly frowned as she fiddled with an old fashioned clock. Her fingers tracing along the carved wood, scratches from time and wear running under the tips. She thought about how the sensation was being carried from activated Merkel cells to her brain. How the difference between the dorsal column-medial lemniscus tract and the spinothalamic tract was allowing her to tell exactly where she was feeling the sensation, even if she closed her eyes. She could describe the entire nervous system, but if asked to articulate her feelings, Holly honestly struggled.

She glanced up and realized that Frankie was still looking at her. She cleared her throat, "Yeah. Maybe."

Frankie opened her mouth to say more when something caught her eye. She walked across the room and held it up for Holly to see too. "What do you think of this?"

"Can you afford it?"

"Yeah."

Holly smiled, "Then I think she'll love it."

---

Gail was tired. She didn't want to admit it, but she was fucking exhausted. Midterms for both her majors were taxing, even her classmates looked like zombies as they wandered into class in their pajamas carrying papers still wet with ink fresh from the printer, or their giant mugs of coffee to combat the all-nighter they pulled trying to cram before their exams. And those were people who weren't working every possible moment they could, and still trying to make time to help out at the clinic.

And in case the normal stress levels of a college kid trying to survive their exam period weren't enough, her own personal hellhole of anxiety, the constant fear of failure, the overpowering thoughts and doubts that she constantly tried to bury loved to come out to play the moment she attempted to rest her weary bones. It was impossible for her to relax fully, to settle, to rest, causing the minutes to tick away in the darkened room, her eyes refusing to close, her breath refusing to slow, her muscles refusing to give up and give in. Because if she was lying still she was thinking about all the things she still needed. She needed money, which meant working, and she needed good grades, which meant studying and going to class, and she needed to be a good girlfriend, which meant checking in with Holly, and she needed to be a good friend, which meant keeping an eye on Chris and on Traci and all the others.

So yeah, she was tired.

The only thing she didn't have to do anymore was be a good Peck. Her parents seemed to be serious about the writing off thing. She hadn't received any phone calls, no texts, no demands for dinner, or even mentions of needing to go to the station. At least she knew Steve was okay. According to Oliver, he had made some serious headway, and the taskforce was gearing up for the final takedown. It would mean Steve coming home, probably with even more awards and praises. He'd have a clear shot at the next detective opening if he really managed to wrap up this case as quickly as it seemed. It would mean no more refuge in his apartment. It would mean no more car.

Okay, that would suck.

But it would also mean having Steve back and safe. Well, as safe as any constable could be. She'd have her annoying big brother back. And she'd have to tell him about their parents. The threat. The financial ruin. Shitty shitbricks she didn't want to do it. What would happen when she told him? What would Steve do if forced to choose between their parents and her? Could he-would he-really disobey an order from them? The thought that he might not take her side, that she would really, truly be without any family hit her suddenly. Just the idea was oppressive, suffocating, and she could feel her chest tightening, a lump forming in her throat, making it hard to swallow.

The thought was toxic. Seeping into her mind, her body, taking desperate hold of her senses. Her eyes burned as she layed in her bed, a dark ceiling hanging over her. She dug the heels of her hands into her eyes, bright spots appearing instead. But the thought was there now, implanted, and swallowing her up.

She should have been sleeping. She wanted to be sleeping, but instead she was thinking about this. Thinking about her family or lack thereof. Gail had always been good, no, she was great at keeping an impassive face when it came to their disapproval. It was how she had learned to hide herself, her abilities, her feelings. She had played the role of the slacker for years, sleeping in class, despite effortlessly answering questions. She was the person who blew off studying with the others, when in reality she didn't want the distractions as she stayed up half the night to do her work on her own without her friends/classmates knowing. She isolated herself constantly, pushing everyone away but the fact was that everyone else always seemed to let her. She was used to doing everything on her own, now she just had a legitimate excuse as to why she had to.

---

Oliver was stuck in the property room for the day. Holed up in the musty room, with shelves of things catalogued and then forgotten. He was tasked with clearing some of the items collected from cases long ago solved or simply abandoned. He had just finished unpacking a gold canister, when his favorite blonde came strolling in to see him.

"I love how you walk around like you own the place."

"I'm a volunteer. Remember, Officer Shaw? I'm in training, and one of the cop duties is property." It wasn't entirely a lie. She may not have been a Peck anymore, but, technically, she was still a volunteer. And as such, it gave her an excuse to visit her friend (her real family) while he was working. She had already gone by his house that day, but hadn't been able to catch him before his shift started.

"And here I thought you just wanted to hang out with the coolest person you know."

"I already looked in the mirror today." The blonde smirked when her friend rolled his eyes, "And Holly's busy at the lab."

"You wound me, Peck." He watched as she took a sip from a water bottle that contained a strange greenish-brown mixture, and tried not to laugh at her grimace. "What the hell is that?"

"I'm cleansing."

"Did Celery give you the recipe?"

"Maybe." She gagged as she choked down another mouthful of tea. "Want some?"

"Oh no, I consume enough of those things when I'm at home, you are not corrupting my temple."

"Wimp." Gail glanced around the room, there was junk piled all over the place. "Are you babysitting bicycles today?"

"Yeah." Oliver checked the tag on a bicycle that had been wheeled in at the beginning of his shift. "Why would anyone have a bike and leave it locked up outside a store for a month? Store owner had to finally cut it off."

"I'm still stumped on why anyone would have a bike."

Oliver laughed. "I have to sort what's going to get auctioned."

Gail continued to look around at the mess that had been bestowed upon Oliver of all people. Something on the desk caught her eye. "Are those cremated human remains?"

Oliver unscrewed the top of the canister and looked in. "Yep, those are cremated human remains." He closed it and then looked at the tag attached to it. He cross-checked it with one of the books. "It was found in a vacant apartment. Apparently the landlord brought it in after he was stiffed two months rent by some Uni kids."

"Do you have any information about the family?"

Oliver looked, but there wasn't much information. "Doesn't look like anyone really dug into it."

"Are you gonna put him on the auction pile?"

"Well if no one has come to claim it, I think I have to." Oliver replied with shrug. He went back to sorting through all the unclaimed property.

Gail grabbed a seat at the table, kicking her feet up. The urn sat near her and she was staring at it as Oliver went back to duty.

"No work today?"

"Hmmm?"

"I asked why you're not at work."

"Charlie is worried that I'm going to replace him at the rate I'm going."

"And how are classes?"

"Pretty much done with my midterms, Dad."

"Aww, that's my kiddo. Maybe if you do well I'll buy you a doughnut."

Oliver focused on his task, struggling to organize the overwhelming piles of items. The man was good, even great, at many aspects of the job and there were still plenty of things that he was learning. But organization had never been his strong suit and probably never would.

Gail moved the urn closer to her. She felt a twisting in her gut when she thought about the occupant being left at the station, seemingly forgotten. "I wish I knew your name. Yeah, everyone needs a name, even in death. Even in your urn. How about I call you Urnie?" She picked it up. "Hey, Urnie." She continued, "I know. Being ashes stuck in your urn with no one to love you. That must really suck. But at least you don't have to drink this tea."

She put the urn down and choked down another mouthful. The bottle was still mostly full.

"Gail are you talking to the urn?"

"No."

"Is he talking back?"

"He's all alone, Oliver. It sucks!"

"I appreciate you coming here and keeping me company, but maybe you should go get some fresh air, instead of being stuck in this musty room? Or if you really want to prove your love for me, you could get me dinner."

Oliver handed Gail money for his meal and something for herself even though she pointed out that she was cleansing. She used the money to pick up something for Holly instead and she stopped at the lab on her way back.

"Hey gorgeous."

Holly beamed, pipette in hand, as she looked up from the vials she had been filling. "Hey! Oh my god, did you bring me food?"

"You forgot to eat again didn't you?"

"Strategical error?"

"Come on, Nerd, come on out and I'll feed you." Gail shook the bag in her hand like a treat bag.

"Give me five minutes to finish this and I'll meet you out there." Gail nodded and headed over to one of the spare rooms that they usually used to eat.

With a few minutes to herself Gail found her mind drifting back to the urn in the evidence room. Gated hated a lot of things in life. She hated people. Humans were stupid and vicious and did terrible things to one another. She hated helping people move. All those family memories just tossed aside. So yeah, she hated that the urn had been left at the police station. An entire life forgotten. It was enough to make her feel downright melancholy.

"So to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Huh?" She hadn't even heard Holly come in. Holly's words sank in a few seconds later. "Oh, ummm I came to see Oliver. He paid by the way."

"Where's yours?"

Gail held up her water bottle, she took a long drag from it, her whole body reacting to the vileness. "Ahh! It's for a cleanse I'm doing. It's really disgusting, and I want you to try it."

"With that introduction?" Holly accepted the bottle and held it up to the light. "I've seen more appetizing things in failed experiments back when I was in Orgo."

Holly handed it back and opened up her meal. She offered some to Gail but she continued to refuse. Holly talked about what she had been working on, rambling all the way through her meal and on their way back to the lab before she realized her girlfriend was distracted.

"Hey, what's on your mind?" Holly bumped her hip into Gail's.

"I'm just thinking about Urnie."

"Who's Ernie? Did you meet him at the station?"

"He's someone who's been forgotten about and is trapped all alone."

"That sounds pretty awful."

"It is awful," Gail nodded seriously, she took another sip of her drink. "Kinda like this drink."

"Why don't you just throw it out?"

"I'm not just going to throw it out." Gail said with more conviction than was necessary when discussing a bottle of tea.

"But you're miserable drinking it."

Gail pouted. "You're my girlfriend. You should share in my misery."

"I'm not sure that's how it works."

"Come on." Gail advanced, holding the drink out in front of her as Holly backed away. Not even the playful smile on Gail's face was enough to get Holly to stop and accept it.

Finally Holly took a big step backwards, crossing into her lab. "Sorry, no food or drink in the lab. It's the rules."

"Fine." Gail sulked.

Holly reached out, keeping most of her body still tucked safely behind in her lab, she managed to land a kiss on Gail's cheek. "See you later."

Gail headed back to the police station to give Oliver his meal.

"I tracked down ashes' family."

"Urnie's family? I mean, the urn. What'd you find?"

"His name is Roy Power. Tracked down his nephew in Hawaii. Roy left his wife for a much younger woman and lost contact with the whole family. And his new wife died of a heart attack last year."

"So urn's heading to Hawaii? Well, I'm suddenly jealous of ashes right now."

"They don't want him."

Shock colored her features, "What do you- what do you mean?"

"They said we could flush him."

The shock was quickly replaced by indignation. "Just flush him?"

"Yeah, or whatever." Oliver shrugged, it was ultimately the family's decision.

"What if other relatives show up?"

"I don't think there are any other relatives."

"So you're just gonna flush him down the toilet?"

Oliver looked around. "Well, we could leave him on the shelf back there."

"For eternity?"

"I don't know, Gail. I gotta get this place ready for auction. I don't have time to figure it out right now."

"Yeah, but…."

"Look I'm sorry, I promise I'll figure something out later, but right now I need to get this organized and you know how good my organization skills are. I think Staff is punishing me by locking me in here today."

Gail grabbed the clipboard from him "Men are so useless."

"What are you doing?"

"Saving your incompetent ass."

"I should probably be offended but I am way too happy to care right now."

Gail moved around the small room while Oliver ate his food.

"What really brought you over here today, Peckling?"

"Can't I just want to visit my good friend Oliver?"

"Always, but you hate this place kiddo."

"I just wanted to thank you for the other day, when you came over to Steve's. You know for talking to me and reminding me of some of the good things I have in my life."

"And for calling Holly?"

"Yeah, and for that too."

"Well you're welcome, but you don't have to thank me. My love is 100% for sale. You can always just buy me doughnuts."

"Next time." Gail promised as she continued sorting piles. Even as she worked, she couldn't help glancing back at the urn every so often. She didn't know why but knowing his story had somehow made it all worse. Knowing that his family didn't want him and that he had become estranged because of the woman he had fallen in love with, it just-it just didn't sit right.

Oliver didn't miss the despondent look on his friend's face every time she was distracted from her work. He finished eating, his hands clapping onto his now satisfied stomach. "Alright, well how about while you figure this out." He gestured to the mess. "I figure out what we're going to do with our friend Urnie, huh?"

Gail couldn't stop herself from smiling, her affection for the man across from her filling up every inch of her tiny, cold heart.

---

"Hey," Holly smiled as she crossed the parking lot. "You're still here."

"Yeah. Just going home, now. Oliver's shift ended."

"With an urn?" The pieces clicked together. "Wait is this Ernie?"

"Yeah."

"Are you allowed to be taking this?"

"Oliver checked the rules and filled out the paperwork and made sure it was okay for me to take the urn since the family didn't want it."

"And why do you want it?"

"The family told Oliver that he could just flush him. So I thought I would drop him off on my way home."

"Okay...where?"

"I was thinking…" A sudden shyness overtaking Gail's features. She bit nervously at the inside of her cheek. "Maybe the lake."

Holly smiled. Her affection growing every time the woman beside her showed her more of that beautiful heart of hers. "That sounds really sweet."

"What? No. It's not even out of the way. It's the same as flushing him down the toilet, only it's a prettier, bigger toilet. So what?"

Holly looped her arm through Gail's, "Can I go with you?"

"You want to? You don't think it's weird?"

"That you want to give a complete stranger some closure in his final time of rest? I mean it's a little weird, but I also voluntarily hang out in a lab with dead bodies instead of working with live patients every chance I get."

"Good point."

On the way to the lake Gail explained to Holly what had transpired in the property room that day while she hung out with Oliver. She told Holly about the new wife and the distance from his family. How Roy had chosen love over them and ended up abandoned on a shelf in the police station, unwanted, and completely forgotten about. Holly knew how much Gail cared about other people, even if she didn't like showing it to most, but even she was surprised at how affected Gail seemed to be by this man's story.

She stayed quiet, following Gail to the water's edge. It was still cold enough at night that there weren't many people out by the lake. It was calm and dark by the water, a light breeze causing Holly to zip her jacket higher.

"Roy Power." Gail said solemnly as she unscrewed the lid on the gold canister in her hand. "Washing away in the water is better than rotting away on some shelf."

"Just remember: away from the wind." Holly teased as she watched Gail lean over to pour the remains out. She tried to contain her smirk when Gail gave her a look for being a smartass.

Of course the wind decided to pick up, sending the ashes up towards both of them.

"Crap. Ah, Roy, I'm sorry." Gail apologized, pouring faster in an attempt to make up for what the wind took with it.

"That's a lot of ashes."

Gail stared down at the now empty container in her hands. "What if it wasn't just Roy in that urn? What if when his second wife died, she had her ashes dumped in with his so the two of them could be blended together into a pile of indistinguishable dust?"

"That's an interesting thought."

"Yeah, well, that's what some people want, you know? They wanna be bonded together as one unit, sharing in all of each other's ups and downs. And I know it's crazy, and I'm not saying I would ever want that, but it...there's just something kind of romantic about it."

Holly could feel the key burning a hole in her pocket. She had been holding onto it since Lisa and Rachel gave her the idea. She was still thinking about the best way to give it to Gail that wouldn't freak her out. But maybe her reaction wouldn't be that bad. She couldn't control her smile as she looked at her secretly sweet, morbidly romantic, definitely insane girlfriend.

"Alright, Danger, you win. Give me the drink."

Gail's eyes lit up, her breathtaking smile actually making Holly's heart stop for a moment as she accepted the proffered water bottle. There was still a third of it left despite Gail's attempts to drink it throughout the day. Holly took a long drag from the bottle, and could feel herself gag, even as she tried to keep the disgusting fluid in her mouth.

"Let it go down." Gail instructed her calmly, her voice soothing as she told Holly to "Just let it go. Swallow it. Let it travel."

Holly gasped when she finally managed to keep the drink down and could breathe again. "That is vile." She wiped at her mouth and wished she had something, anything to get the taste out of her mouth. But she heard the lightest laugh come from the woman across from her, the one watching her struggles in awe.

"Thank you." Gail caught her face and gave her a sweet enough kiss to almost make Holly forget about the horrid aftertaste. She wrapped her arms around Holly's middle, pulling her tightly into an embrace as they both looked out across the peaceful water, at the twinkling lights of the city reflecting upon it. "Thank you so much."

---

"I have got to pull myself together but I can't control it

My lips they know what they want, everybody knows it

Once a girl controlled the world with words that pierce the bone

Now I'm smiling like a lovesick puppet, everybody knows

Don't go ruinin', ruinin' my my bad reputation

Don't go tellin' 'em, tellin' 'em all the plans we been makin'

'Cause everyone knows that I don't cry

You never see stars shining in my eyes

Ruinin', ruinin' my my bad reputation

Oh no, no no no

Oh no, no, no no no no"

Gail was still singing softly as they made their way up to Holly's apartment. The song had been playing in Steve's car, where Gail had hooked her phone up to the speakers.

"Are you singing Kelly Clarkson?" Holly asked, a smile playing at her lips as she unlocked the door to her apartment.

Gail groaned at being called out. "It's one song."

"A newer song."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No."

"Well it's done anyway."

"That's a shame. You have an amazing singing voice."

"Last time I used it, you got mad at me."

"I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at Frankie and embarrassed because I had a massive crush on you."

Gail caught a hold of Holly just outside of the brunette's room. She pressed her back into her door and was reminded of the night of the party, when she had Holly in a similar position. They had been interrupted by Steve that night and the threat of all their friends looking for them. There weren't any distractions anymore.

"I'm glad you're not Jessie's Girl anymore."

"Nope. But I am yours."

Gail's smile broke out at just the thought, the bright one that showed all her pearly whites and had Holly's heart stuttering in her chest. Holly pulled Gail against her, their lips crashing together and the two enjoying just making out for a bit. It wasn't until a noise from Rachel's room, reminded them that they weren't alone.

They were both still smiling as Holly silently took Gail's hand and led her into her bedroom. As the light came on, Gail paused.

"Did you move your bed?"

"Rachel and Lisa did."

"Why would they...?" Gail started to ask, but Holly was quicker to answer.

"They said it was too close to the wall."

Gail snickered at the implication. "When was this?"

"Wine night."

"Oooh," Gail looped her arms around Holly's waist, holding her close. "Wine night. I remember quite a few texts that night. Kinda sorry I missed it."

"Well it certainly tasted better than whatever died in that drink of yours."

"It wasn't even that bad." Gail tried to defend her cleanse but the unimpressed look on Holly's face told her that it was a losing battle. "Okay, it was horrible."

Holly laughed, her hands were playing with the hairs at the back of Gail's neck. "Why were you drinking it?"

Gail's mouth twisted at the thought of what had inspired the cleanse. About the thoughts of abandonment and failure that had made her feel like she was drowning again and sent her to Oliver's in need of one of his famous pep talks. She hadn't expected to find Celery or for the wiccan woman to offer her something to help without Gail saying a word about what was bothering her. It was hard to explain why she took comfort in the strange things Celery went on about. She had been raised to believe in nothing but cold, hard reality and the untrustworthiness of humanity. She wasn't raised to believe that the universe had a plan or that all things were connected, and yet she had stayed at Oliver's until Celery finished the tea, listening to the odd but soothing words she offered.

She couldn't keep eye contact with Holly, who was looking at her with those brown eyes that held genuine curiosity. She looked at a spot just over Holly's shoulder, her fingers digging into the pliant skin of Holly's hips, flexing and tensing as she tried to explain.

"Celery suggested it. I don't know I just thought it might help. It was stupid."

"Hey," Holly tilted her chin up to look at her. "What was stupid?"

"It's supposed to help me sleep, and just help with some of the stress. I just thought, I thought that if I couldn't control my brain at least I could control my body. You know?"

"You know what's really good for brains and bodies, and I've even heard it works on souls too?"

"I don't have one of those." The words came out reflexively. She rolled her eyes when she saw the way Holly cocked her head to the side. Yeah, she definitely wasn't fooling her. "What?"

"Cuddling."

"Cuddling? Seriously." Gail whined. She wasn't a cuddler. It just wasn't in her nature. That didn't mean she never cuddled. It just meant that it wasn't her favorite thing to do.

"I drank your drink."

Gail's lips twitched into a smile before she had a chance to stop them. She watched as Holly shimmied out of her jeans and into her bed. She held up the covers and waited patiently for Gail to join her. It was too tempting of an offer so she slipped out of her jeans and into her space in Holly's bed, letting her girlfriend wrap around her.

"Is it really that bad?" Holly asked, her lips brushing just behind Gail's ear.

Gail squirmed slightly, making herself just a little more comfortable and enjoying the softness and warmth that Holly provided. "No. It's not bad at all."

---

It was just after midnight when Frankie kneeled onto her own bed. "Hey." Her hand gently brushed through short red curls. "Come downstairs with me."

"Not now." Chloe pulled the comforter up over her head. "Sleeping."

Frankie tried to pull the covers down but couldn't fight off Chloe's deathgrip on them. "Since when are you the cranky one?"

Chloe wriggled even lower, making sure the blankets and warmth didn't escape. "Since someone wore me out."

"You weren't complaining before."

"Midterms sucked, so do you."

Frankie finally managed to dislodge the cover. She bent lower, her teeth catching hold of Chloe's earlobe. "I did a bit more than just suck."

Chloe tried to push her away without opening her eyes. "I know, and now I'm tired."

"It'll only take a minute. Please."

One bleary hazel eye squinted open. Frankie almost never said please. In fact she toted her general rudeness like a badge of honor. It was enough to stoke Chloe's natural curiosity and get her to loosen her hold on the blankets. She whined when Frankie pulled them off and let the cold air in.

"Only a minute and I'm stealing your clothes."

"Deal."

Frankie held her hands out and Chloe let herself get pulled up from the bed. She raided the senior's dresser knowing exactly what she was looking for. Dressed in the softest, warmest pair of bottoms Frankie owned and one of her larger sweatshirts she was finally ready to leave the senior's room. Dragging her feet the entire way, Chloe let Frankie steer her down the stairs and into the living room.

Chloe's eyes widened as she took in the sight. The lights were out, but there were candles throughout the living room. On the coffee table sat a bowl of popcorn and on the television was the Universal Planet.

"Happy Birthday, Chloe." Frankie whispered into her ear, arms already circling around her from behind. She rested her chin on Chloe's shoulder.

Chloe turned around in the embrace, her lips finding Frankie's to pour out her gratitude.

"Is this what I think it is?" She asked as she rested their foreheads together.

Frankie shifted, pressing her lips against Chloe's forehead instead. Her thumbs running along Chloe's hips. "This is your tradition right? Microwave popcorn and The Breakfast Club."

"Did Nick tell you?"

"No. You told me, remember?" Frankie nervously pushed her hair back when Chloe looked at her unconvinced, "Back in like November, or whatever."

It was the same night Chloe had declared that they would be friends. They had spent the whole night talking.

"Yeah, I guess I just didn't expect you to." A hurt look flashed across her features as Frankie started to pull away, but Chloe quickly grabbed hold of her. "I just figured everyone had forgotten since no one mentioned anything."

"Surprise?"

"Thank you." Chloe pressed up to the tips of her toes so she could reach Frankie's lips one last time before pulling her towards the couch.

"You're not too tired?"

"Nope. I am wide awake now. How much do you love this movie?"

"I've never seen it so…"

"How have you never seen this?"

"First of all I'm not old. Second of all, we weren't allowed to watch most movies, remember?"

"Oh, right. Well you're going to love it."

"That's a tall order."

"It's totally awesome. Come on. Ready for the most amazing movie experience ever?"

Frankie let Chloe pull her down onto the couch beside her. She leaned over to the coffee table to retrieve both the popcorn and the remote, before pushing herself into the corner and holding up her arm so that Chloe could settle into her chest. She handed over the popcorn and started up the movie. The music started as soon as she hit play, filling the quiet house around them.

Frankie did her best to focus on the screen but for the next 97 minutes as the misfits on screen took over their school, she found herself distracted by the woman in her arms who was mouthing along to all the words. It didn't matter that Chloe had seen the movie a hundred times, the way her face lit up at her favorite scenes, the way her laugh shook her whole body, even the way her eyes welled at the confession scene, it all had Frankie completely enchanted.

It may not have been the most amazing movie experience ever, but it could certainly come close.

---

It was dark in the club and bodies were everywhere. It was exactly the kind of place that Gail hated but that her roommate loved. Which was why Frankie had picked it. The senior had invited all of Chloe's friends, from the houses, their classes, the millions of clubs Chloe was a part of. So it wasn't that hard for Gail to find the large group when she met them after her shift ended. She had wanted to opt out of it, but all of her friends were on her case and even Charlie had cut her early. But she had still been tempted to just head home, until her girlfriend texted her. So Gail stopped at home and changed into something significantly less warm and headed across town to a building filled with sweaty bodies and pulsating music.

Normally Gail was fine in bars and clubs. But the darkness, the crowd, the music, was putting her on edge. She didn't know why. Maybe it was the exhaustion. Maybe it was the stress of the last few weeks. Maybe it was just the culmination of everything that had been happening. Whatever it was, it had knots forming in Gail's stomach, it had her breathing speeding up, and her eyes darting around the room. She felt off.

Gail jumped when she felt an arm wrap around her from behind.

"Hey." Holly's voice in her ear caused the muscles in her body to relax slightly, though it did absolutely nothing to her racing heart. "I was waiting for you."

Gail turned in her arms. Feeling significantly better now that she could actually see Holly's face. "You were?"

"Mmhmm." Holly smiled and nodded. "Has the birthday girl seen you yet?"

"Nope. You're the first."

"Go say hi to Chloe and then we're dancing."

"I need alcohol if you want me to dance."

"That I can do. Chris is DD today, just so you know."

Gail wasn't sure Chris being there was the best idea. He had started the intensive outpatient program that Gail found, finding times for therapy sessions around his classes. Their profs had given him special permission to make up his midterms considering he had been in the hospital. It also didn't hurt that he was on the football team, even if he was a rookie. And all week everyone had done their best to keep him distracted when he was around, the guys played video games with him, Traci took him to the gym to box, Andy took him on a run, Chloe baked with him, and Gail even managed to find a little time to take him to the shooting range. No one really wanted to let him out of their sight, so it made sense that he would be at the celebration and being DD made it easier to stay sober. But still it had to suck being surrounded by temptation so early into his sobriety.

As if reading her mind, Holly added, "Don't worry, I've been keeping an eye on him."

Gail felt an unbridled amount of affection as she looked into those warm brown eyes. Holly was looking out for Chris too, just because he was a friend of hers, just because he mattered to Gail.

"So no drinking for us either?"

"Oh no, we are definitely drinking. I'm pretty sure Juliet is not so discretely siphoning off her drinks to Nick so that she can keep an eye on Chris too." Holly's hands had migrated to her waist and tugged her a little closer. "I was just waiting for you."

Gail closed the space between them, capturing Holly's lips. She couldn't believe how much time she had spent not kissing her in public. God, what a waste. They parted and the smile on Holly's face made Gail want to kiss her again but she restrained herself.

"Alright, Nerd. We need tequila." She turned towards the bar but Holly's hand caught hers and pulled her back.

"You need to go wish your roommate a Happy Birthday."

"Holllllly." Gail pouted.

"As much as I'm enjoying hearing you shout my name, and believe me I am definitely looking forward to hearing it again later, you need to wish Chloe a Happy Birthday."

Gail could feel her cheeks heating up. Damn pale skin. "Oh, come on, she's sucking face with Anderson."

"Ha. Well." Holly glanced over at the couple that was in the middle of the dance floor seemingly oblivious to the world around them. But even lovesick fools require oxygen. "Look they just came up for air, so go now."

"Fine." Gail whined as she stomped over to the birthday girl.

"Roomie!" Chloe, bounced, actually bounced, when she saw the blonde. "You came!"

"Happy Birthday, Princess."

"Thank you! You have to come dance with all of us." Chloe tried to pull her closer but Gail shook her off. There was no way she was dancing completely sober.

"Alcohol first. What are you drinking tonight?"

"Everything! I'll have whatever you're having, Sugarplum."

"Don't ever call me that again." Gail huffed. "Tequila, it is."

She went to leave but Chloe grabbed her arm, not letting her take more than a couple steps away.

"Holly's here! Does she get to call you sugarplum?"

Gail could see the way Frankie was struggling not to laugh behind Chloe. She directed her glare at the senior instead of the birthday girl. A true act of kindness if anyone were to ask.

"I know. And no she doesn't."

"She's really pretty. You should tell her she's pretty, Gail. Because she is and girls like it when you tell them that."

Frankie whispered in Chloe's ear and it started a cascade of giggles from the redhead.

Gail let out a suffering sigh, "Maybe I shouldn't be giving you more alcohol."

"Oh no, you definitely should."

"Fine, well let my arm go so I can go get some for us."

Chloe looked torn for a moment but eventually relented and let her roommate go. Finally freed, Gail made her way over to where Holly was still trying to get the bartender's attention.

"Couldn't stay away?" Holly teased.

"I was just wondering what was taking so long to get our drinks."

"Well the service here isn't as good as the Penny." Holly winked and turned back around, she was finally able to place their order, and more than a few shots appeared.

They locked eyes, clinking glasses, and downing their first drinks quickly.

Gail felt a thrill run down her spine at the way Holly was looking at her. The tequila had a nice burn, warming her insides. But Holly, she set her whole body on fire.

"Chloe said I should tell you you're pretty."

"That's really nice of her. But what about you? Do you think I'm pretty?"

"Seems Price and I finally found something we can agree on. You look amazing."

"Thanks but I got nothing you. You look, just...wow."

Holly's eyes ran over her and she wished they weren't in a crowded bar. Gail didn't want to share Holly for the night. She wanted her all to herself. And more than anything she wanted to act on all the thoughts that crossed her mind at the look Holly was giving her.

She reached for another glass, and the shot went down again. Holly matched her drink for drink until there were three left. The birthday girl's included. And Gail found herself being dragged back to where Chloe and Frankie were swarmed by the others. But then they were all drinking, and there was laughter and jokes, and the music was pumping, and everyone else was dancing. And Holly was still looking only at her, and her heart was pounding in a much better way.

Holly was close. So close, and she was leaning in, but her lips were hovering by her ear, instead of meeting her lips. And Gail was disappointed but she tried to listen, even though she could barely hear her above the music.

"You ready to dance, Danger?"

It was dark in the club, there were sweaty bodies everywhere, the music shook her entire body, the alcohol blurred her brain. But Holly was there, and she wanted to dance. And Gail wanted to give Holly everything. So she pulled her closer, arms easily draping over Holly's shoulders, and hips moving not even remotely to the beat. But Holly's hands were on her hips, and she was close, and Gail could stop thinking and just feel. She wanted to feel it all.

---

Gail desperately needed a drink. Her clothes were sticking to her, and not for the first time Gail was thankful for the super short cut of her hair as she wiped sweat from the back of her neck. She didn't want to admit it but she was having a good time. She was more than pleasantly buzzed, her hot girlfriend was dancing with her, her friends were all having a good time, and Gail could just be twenty and dumb and free. But it was hot, too hot, and she had made her way over to the bar for some water while Holly stayed back and danced with the others. Not the way she danced with Gail. Now she was moving goofily and completely out of sync, but with a similar level of enthusiasm.

"You must really like her."

Gail hated the fact that her body jolted unpleasantly for the second time that night, but stupid Frankie had caught her off guard. She glared at the senior. "What are you yapping about?"

"Holly. You must really like her to still be looking at her like that while she's dancing. I love her but she has no rhythm."

A look back over and it was true. Holly was doing the damn macarena for crying out loud, but it was making Chloe laugh her ass off, and the sight had a small smile tugging at Gail's lips and a warm, full feeling in her chest. Tearing her eyes away, she caught the knowing look on Frankie's face and it caused her smile to fall instantly.

"Yeah, well, you must really like the Princess to go to all this trouble."

"'S not a big deal."

Gail smirked when she saw Frankie's hand go to her hair. It was the senior's tell.

"I also know about the movie night and the antique shopping."

"God, my life was better before you two started dating." Frankie grumbled before trying to grab the bartender's attention.

"Please tell me you're not getting more alcohol for Chloe. She's a wispy little thing."

"Nah, I switched us to water a while ago."

"Great minds."

Frankie flagged down the bartender and managed to get some bottles of water. Gail accepted two of them and looked back to where their friends were. Holly was still dancing and she was laughing along with the others. Her smile wide and her happiness shining across the room.

"I do." Gail found the words slipping out, "Really like her, that is."

Frankie nudged her with her elbow. "I know, Peck. It's written all over your face."

Gail glanced over and noticed that despite talking to her, Frankie wasn't even looking at her. Nope, the older girl's eyes were locked firmly on her smiling roommate. Even in the dark, Gail could see the soft way Frankie was looking at her. Apparently, Gail wasn't the only one having trouble hiding her feelings that night.

"Like you're one to talk, Anderson."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

The flash of Gail's phone snapped Frankie out of her daze and had the blonde laughing at the glare she received. She flipped the screen to show her.

"Means I'm not the only one."

Gail laughed even harder as the senior stomped away and back towards the birthday celebration. She was still chuckling by the time she reached Holly's side. Her girlfriend gratefully accepted the water Gail offered her.

"Why's Frankie so grumpy?"

"She's mad that she got caught making hearteyes at Price." Gail showed her the picture. She could feel herself smiling as she heard Holly let out a snort of laughter as she looked at the phone.

There was another flash of light, but this time Gail looked up to find Frankie's phone out and pointed at her. She went to retaliate, but before she could actually do anything she felt Holly pulling her back towards her.

"You can kill her later. Right now, though, we're still dancing."

Gail wanted to protest, but there was no point. Holly's hands were already wrapping around her and trying to force her to move to the music. It was uncoordinated, and clumsy, and completely irresistible.

---

"Did you have a good time?" Frankie asked as they stumbled up the stairs and towards her room. Chloe's lips were on her neck, and her hands wouldn't stay out from under her shirt. Somehow the night had gotten away from her. After all the dancing, the feeling of Chloe's body pressed closely to hers, moving to the music, teasing her all night, she was glad to finally have her to herself. It had been a sweet torture, but now that they were home, Frankie could feel herself losing whatever control she had maintained in the bar surrounded by everyone they knew. But she had to keep her head. There was still more to her original plan.

"Yeah today has been totally bitchin'!"

"One 80's movie and now you're Molly Ringwald? I mean I guess you have the hair for it."

"Haha how about you put the smartmouth of yours to better use?"

Chloe pulled Frankie into a kiss, trying to steer them towards Frankie's bed, falling easily onto the mattress and pulling the senior on top of her. Frankie gave in, letting herself sink into the embrace, getting easily distracted by Chloe's roaming hands and incessant kisses. She finally forced herself to pull away, struggling to catch her breath.

"I still have one more thing to give you."

"I know, but we need to get rid of our clothes for that." Chloe reconnected their lips. Her hands wouldn't stop moving. "Actually no we don't." She decided as she reached for the button on Frankie's pants.

But Frankie caught the wandering hand and tried really hard not to think about how she had become the kind of person who chose sweet gestures over sex.

"Al-Alright so I have two more things to give you."

She went to her closet and pulled out a small wrapped box. She tried to hand it to Chloe but the birthday girl didn't take it.

"You already did too much."

"I put on a movie, nuked some popcorn, and took you dancing. I would hardly define that as too much."

"You remembered my tradition, and planned out surprises for me all day." Chloe bit her lip, "You actually remembered it was my birthday."

"Of course I did. I wanted-I just thought you deserved a good day is all." Frankie's hand ran through her hair, frizzed and sticking to her skin after all the dancing and heat in the club that night, she wished she could smooth it down. The wrapped gift in her other hand crinkled as her hand reflexively flexed. She felt significantly more nervous and exposed, despite being in the safety and isolation of her own room.

She cleared her throat and held out the gift again with way more confidence than she actually felt, "So are you going to open it or just admire my awesome wrapping job?"

Chloe snatched the gift out of her hand before bouncing up so that she was sitting against the headboard with it. She patted the spot next to her, and waited until Frankie was close enough that she could tuck herself snugly into the older girl's side.

Chloe did take a moment to admire the pink wrapping paper, before sliding a finger to one edge. She paused, "Is this a part for Carlotta?"

"Damn, I knew I should've gotten you the new wiperblades she needs."

Chloe's eyes narrowed and Frankie had to restrain a laugh at her expense. "You could just open it and find out."

Satisfied, Chloe unwrapped the gift, she felt her breath catch. In a box filled with tissue paper sat an ornate butterfly made of colorful stained glass holding strings and bits of metal that clinked melodically as she lifted it up and out. The low light in Frankie's room caught every bit of the antiquated windchime, it was still bright and shiny despite the obvious number of years it had existed. Some of the strings were frayed, there was a small chip in one of the glass pieces, but it made it all the more special to Chloe. There were so many details to take in that together created the bigger picture. It was a little bit of art, a little bit of music, and very distracting.

"I uhhh saw it and thought of you."

"I love it."

"You do?"

"It's gorgeous."

Frankie nodded in agreement, but didn't say anything else. Chloe was still studying her gift, entranced by it. She finally looked up and back at Frankie, she couldn't figure out the look on the older girl's face, but it made Chloe feel warm and good.

Chloe couldn't resist leaning over and kissing her again, this time with more intent. "You are so getting laid."

Frankie took the box, gently replacing the gift inside, and carefully putting it on a table nearby. Kneeling between Chloe's legs, she grabbed a hold of her hips and pulled her closer. She did still have one more gift that she needed to give her.

---

Laying in Holly's bed, Gail's fingers traced a path along Holly's back.

"That tickles."

"Sorry."

Holly turned over. "Don't be."

Gail's eyes dropped downward to where the sheet had slipped on Holly's chest before coming back up to meet Holly's eyes and the smirk on her lips. Her fingers shifted to a bare arm of tan skin, tracing a new path there. She didn't say anything but continued to stare at the invisible lines she was making.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Life." Gail said solemnly. "It's really not a fairytale, huh?"

"Still kinda beautiful though."

She was. Holly was the most beautiful part of Gail's life. Gail tilted forward, her lips meeting Holly's briefly. When she pulled back, her fingers restarted their aimless movement.

"Can I…" Holly started to say. Gail quirked an eyebrow in the dark, her eyes still focused on the invisible path. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did." The response was a reflex and Gail's lips twitched up as she said it but for once Holly didn't pinch her side, or shove her, or retaliate in any way. Sobering up, she tilted her head. "Shoot, Nerd."

But Holly didn't respond right away, and as Gail waited, confusion and curiosity took hold with each passing moment of silence.

"You're going to have to use your words if you want to ask something." She prodded.

"Why are you with me?"

Gail's hand stilled. Her eyes shifted to Holly's face, but Holly moved onto her back, putting a little distance between them, and purposefully no longer looking at Gail.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean why are you dating me?" Holly directed her question towards the ceiling.

"Is this some kind of trick question?"

"Forget it. Just forget I said anything."

"No. I'm not going to forget it. What's bothering you, Lunchbox?"

Holly sighed, and something tightened in Gail's chest at the sound of it.

"Ummm...You know how I didn't answer my phone the other day?"

Gail remembered the day. She had thought it was weird that Holly had stopped talking to her randomly but Holly had said that she had been busy and Gail had let the matter drop. Clearly, she shouldn't have.

"I kinda had a super tiny, very mild freakout."

"Why would you freak out? Did I do something?"

"No. It wasn't anything you'd done. It was entirely me. I just got a little stuck inside my own head and a little overwhelmed and I just kinda freaked myself out about responding."

"I don't get it. I overwhelmed you or our relationship did?"

"Neither. It's not that. Gods, I'm butchering this. I just...I guess I just realized the enormity of everything that was going on. Gail, you turned your back on your family, and let yourself get cut off for me. And that's kind of a big thing to live up to."

"What would you have preferred Holly? That I give in to my parents. And end this. Because if that's what you're saying, I really wish you would've told me sooner."

"No, Gail. I don't want any of that. I just don't feel like I deserve someone like you."

"Like me?"

"Someone as incredible as you."

"You think I'm incredible?"

"Of course I do. You're beautiful both inside and out. You're strong and brave and caring."

"You know that's not true."

"I know that that is very true. And I'm just me. Just a nerd, who spends way too much time in my books and hanging out in a lab that is literally filled with dead bodies."

"Okay. You are definitely a nerd. But apparently sexy librarians are totally my thing."

Holly didn't laugh. She was still looking up at the ceiling, so Gail reached over and gently turned her chin so that she would look at her.

"Holly, you gave me chances when no one else ever would've. You accept me and you've never once tried to change me. But more than any of that. You've always been there, even when I've pushed you away. Even when I've told you…" Gail's voice faltered. Her hand brushed along Holly's jaw. She took a breath and cleared her throat before trying again. "Even when I've told you about...stuff."

She wished she could say more. Wished that she could say it better. But she didn't know how to put into words how much Holly meant to her. How much everything Holly did meant to her. How just by being herself, Holly was so much better than everyone else.

Holly's hand came up to gently catch Gail's wrist. Her fingers resting where she could feel her pulse. "I would never ask you to change."

"I know you wouldn't. So why is it so hard to believe that I wouldn't either?"

"I'm just….I guess I'm not used to this."

"To what?"

"Feeling like this. Feeling the way you make me feel."

"And how's that?"

"Wanted."

"Of course I want you. Hai l'anima più bella che abbia mai conosciuto. Mi sento fortunato ogni giorno che mi vuoi."

"How about you say that in English?"

"How about you learn Italian?"

Holly turned onto her side once more, she reached for Gail pulling her closer, their legs tangling, and she could feel the barest hint of their lips touching. "How about you teach me it?"

"Maybe later. Right, now there's something else I want to do."

"What's that?"

"This." Gail's hand slid into Holly's hair, holding her close as their lips met. It was a different kiss than all the ones they had shared that night. It wasn't one of the feverish ones from the dancefloor, or the sweet ones that Gail hadn't been able to resist even when they had hung out with her friends, or the purposeful ones from the moment they reached Holly's room, or the gentle ones before they slipped off to sleep. This one was desire in its purest form, a slow rush building from its promise of what was to come. Gail didn't hurry, her lips moving against Holly's, enjoying the way they parted and came together, the feeling of her tongue sliding against Holly's, the way her teeth dragged along Holly's bottom lip before she finally pulled back.

Gail picked herself up despite the noise of protest from her girlfriend, but she reached for the small light beside the bed.

"What are you doing?" Holly asked, squinting as her eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness.

"I want to see you." Gail pushed the sheets off of them. "All of you."

She was resting on her knees towards the foot of Holly's bed. Her eyes traced over every inch of tan skin, standing out against Holly's sheets. A smooth expanse of perfect imperfections. Every line, every scar, every mole or mark, making up the most wonderful person Gail had ever met. Her hands got jealous of the attention her eyes got to give, so they started at Holly's ankles, sliding their way along the outer part of her leg, the inner skin of her thigh.

"God, Holly, of course I want you. I want you all the time. And I've never felt like this before either. I've never felt so much before. I want you like this. But I also want you when you're in your flannel and jeans, when you can't see straight because you've been reading your books all day. And in the lab, and the clinic, damn Holly Stewart do you have any idea what it's like to watch you in a white coat being all doctory?"

Gail's heart was pounding in her chest. Thumping away, she could feel it rattling her ribs.

"But what really scares me...is how much I want to hear your voice on the days I don't get to see you. How much I want to hear about your day and when I get to hear the excitement in your voice when you tell me about something new you've learned...I can't explain it, but you make everything better. So yeah, Holls, I want you. All of you."

Their eyes met, and Gail's teeth sunk into her own lip, biting down hard as she waited for Holly's reaction and tried to restrain herself from moving, from touching more, from just taking what she wanted.

Holly sat up, her hands cupping Gail's jaw and pulling her in. "I really need you to kiss me now."

Gail complied, enthusiastically, and without any hesitation. She was determined to erase any lingering doubts Holly may have had about her or them or herself. And if the only way to do that was to eliminate her ability to think at all, well then that's just what she would have to do. It was a sacrifice more than worth making.

---

"Charlie's actually going to break that thing one of these days." Traci warned as she caught Gail texting during their shift.

Gail rolled her eyes but tucked the device back into her pocket after she hit send. "Then I guess it's a good thing he hasn't seen it."

"How's Holly?"

"Trying to convince me to come by after work."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"I'm closing. It's going to be super late."

"I'm sure she won't mind."

"Yeah, that's what she said." Traci's laughter earned one of Gail's patented scowls, "Oh, very mature, Trace."

"So go."

"Eh, I'm tired."

"You could probably manage to just sleep if you really tried keeping your hands to yourself. Not that I would if I were you."

"How is it that literally none of you have any shame in ogling my girlfriend?"

Traci shrugged. "She's very ogle-worthy."

Gail didn't bother arguing when it was such a true statement. She watched Traci walk away with her orders, leaving her alone to think about Holly. Even as she poured out drinks for the growing crowd at her bar, she couldn't focus on anything else. Normally, thinking about Holly and the invitation to her apartment would be enough to carry Gail through her shift. But closing meant not getting to Holly's until well after three am knowing that Holly would be due to go to the lab or the library only a few hours after that. It would mean waking up her girlfriend to let her into her home and into her bed. And in case that wasn't enough guilt to keep her away, she had the added weight of Holly's doubts about her and them still dragging her down.

There was a part of Gail, the rational one, that realized that Holly had been honest about her feelings, that it was just Holly having self-doubts like anyone their age would. That it wasn't about her but about Holly being honest with her, and she could never fault Holly for any of that. She wanted Holly to feel like she could talk to her, she honestly wanted to know what she was feeling. And yeah, it was weird, and overwhelming to actually care that much about another human being but also it was good and it was progress.

And yet, there was another part, the irrationally anxious one, that told Gail that Holly was doubting her, doubting them. That their relationship had put too much pressure onto Holly. That she didn't deserve her and that by being with Gail, Holly was going to get dragged down with her. Holly was too good, she shouldn't ever doubt that about herself. And if she did, then it meant Gail was failing as a girlfriend, because she had meant what she said about Holly always feeling wanted.

"Four taps, two margaritas, one pink goose, and one ginger rum shandy." Traci rattled off, dropping her tray and momentarily snapping Gail out of her reverie.

"Hey, watch it."

The glass in Gail's hand started to overflow, sending beer all over the countertop and Traci's order pad.

"What's got you so distracted?"

"Nothing."

"Doesn't seem like nothing."

"Well it is."

"Okay, well if nothing becomes something, I'm more than willing to listen." Traci scooped up her now full try and headed back out to the crowd.

Gail felt her phone buzz in her pocket but instead of checking the new message from Holly, she did her best to keep her focus on her job. And it worked. For awhile. Until someone unexpected plopped down in front of her.

"Hey what are you doing here?"

Chris hadn't been to the bar since he had started his rehab program. Most of the freshmen took turns spending the night hanging out with him and keeping him company. But aside from Chloe's party, Chris had been steering clear of temptation to the best of his ability.

"Thought I'd walk you home."

Gail was surprised to say the least, but it reminded her of all the times Chris had walked her home or picked her up when she was working late when she had first started the job. It was something he hadn't done in months. She understood that Chris was looking out for her in his own way. "Thanks, but I'm good. Charlie asked me to close so my shift's not over for awhile. You don't need to hang out here and wait."

"I don't mind."

But Gail didn't miss the way Chris's body stiffened as he looked around the loud bar. There were still plenty of people, all looking for a good time. There was alcohol and stumbling bodies everywhere. She needed to let him off the hook so that he didn't stay in a place that he wasn't ready to be in.

"I might be going to Holly's after."

"I can walk you there."

"I can walk there myself too, been doing it for a long time."

"Yeah, I know, but…" Chris trailed off when he caught sight of Jarvis and his wife. His eyes widened comically and he quickly ducked his head and turned his body, trying not to be seen.

Gail wasn't paying attention as she filled a new order, she didn't notice her friend's discomfort as she continued to talk. "Really, Chris, it's okay. I'm going to be here super late and I have Charlie. I'll be fine," she assured him.

At the dismissal, Chris was quick to stand up, ready to bolt, "You sure?"

"Of course, Diaz. I'm a big girl I can take care of myself."

"If you change your mind, just give me a call, I'll be back in a flash."

"Sure thing." Gail said to the empty air as her friend hightailed it out of the bar. She made a mental note to sick Chloe or Andy onto him to check on him that night.

---

"Peck!"

The sound of Charlie's annoyed voice, had the words "I didn't do it" quickly falling out of Gail's mouth.

"I know. That's the problem. Trash is overflowing, get it out of here."

"Balls," Gail muttered under her breath. She was trying to think of a way out of the dreaded task when she saw Traci counting out her tips. She had once bet Traci that she could nail Charlie in the back of the head with an ice cube from across the room. It got her out trash duties for a week and almost fired, but it had been beyond worth it in her opinion.

"Dude, rock-paper-scissors."

"Look I know scissoring is your thing but Charlie said it was your turn to take out the trash tonight."

"Come on," Gail whined, "your shift's almost over. Isn't it bad enough that I have to stay?"

Traci didn't bother looking up from her money, knowing full well that the Peck pout-puppy dog eye combo would be on full display. It rarely worked on her even when she didn't already have one foot out the door. "You're the one who always volunteers to stay longer."

"You suck." But Traci merely waved her off as she went to Charlie to trade out for larger bills.

Still grumbling to herself, Gail shouldered her way through the side door, dragging a couple of trash bags out to the alley where the dumpster was.

"Fucking great," She growled as one of the bags tore open at the bottom before she could get it off the ground. She was half tempted to just leave it there, but her boss would kill her and it wasn't fair to have someone else clean up her mess. Hell, she wished more of her customers felt that way and then maybe she wouldn't have to spend an extra half hour after last call, getting the bar into decent shape before going home.

Stooping to pick up some of the bottles that had clattered to the ground, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. Deciding to take advantage of her menial labor, she dusted off her hands on her jeans before standing up to fish out her phone. and smiled when she saw that the message was from Holly. She may have been berating herself for most of the night, but just seeing her nickname light up her phone was enough to get the butterflies going in her stomach. She was in the middle of responding when a noise in the alleyway caught her attention.

Glancing around, she noticed that one of the lights from the neighboring building was out. She peered into the darkness, in the direction of the noise, but she couldn't see anything. Still, an uneasiness filled her as she felt a chill run down her spine and it was enough to get her started towards the door, but before she could reach it she was grabbed from behind.

"Scream, and it's the last thing you'll ever do."

Gail saw a small glint of metal before she felt the blade against her throat.

---

A/N: Happy Halloween :)