Derek Morgan
Oh God, why did I say that? I watched the look of hurt on his beautiful face as the words escaped my lips faster than I could think.
"Morgan that's enough!" Hotch chastised. I squeezed my eyes tight. How could I?
"Whatever," I scowled at myself. Why the hell did I say all that? It was so stupid and meaningless and it had come out of nowhere. God, he wasn't even wrong. I knew he was right I just couldn't picture an 8-year-old girl ending up like the previous victims.
I felt like banging my head on the SUV, maybe it'd help knock some sense into me. I couldn't get his face out of my head. How hurt he looked. I never thought I would be a cause to one of those looks. God, I'm so, so, stupid.
"Damn!" I kicked the tire in anger.
"Let's go," I snapped up when I heard his voice.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Reid figured out where James took the girl," Hotch clipped. "Go back to the station with JJ and the mother. You're not thinking clearly and I do not need you getting personal on the field. It's an order," I wanted to argue back but figured he was right. I wasn't in my right mind. I swallowed down as much as anger as I could before going over to JJ.
"That was cruel, Morgan," she said simply. She hadn't even been there when I told him all those things but I knew she picked up on what happened.
"I don't know why I said those things," I shook my head. "JJ, I didn't mean that I really didn't. I was just mad that James escaped and took a girl. We had him," I sighed. A lump of emotion started to form in my throat. JJ's face scrunched and I realized she didn't know. I swallowed the lump. She wasn't the person to confide in right now.
"Just apologize to him. You guys will be okay. You're best friends," she encouraged. I nodded but I knew an apology wouldn't be enough for the mean things that I said to him.
"Er, yeah," I nodded my head again. I sat down in the empty in the conference room. How do I even begin to apologize? Heartless? How could I have said that? My Pretty Boy has the purest of hearts with the kindest of souls, how could I have told him he was just the opposite? If it weren't because I was in a police station I probably would've punched something out of anger.
I don't know how long I sat there, contemplating everything I said and how I was going to fix it because I was going to, I just didn't know.
"Thank you, guys," I looked up as I watched the rest of the team come in. I looked over at Spencer, feeling guilt wash over me. God, he couldn't even look at me.
"We're here to help," Hotch assured the detective, shaking hands.
"Sorry about earlier, I freaked out when I saw him grab her," he rubbed his neck in embarrassment.
"Don't worry, some actions can be justified," Hotch looked over at me and I sighed, knowing he was right. We left the station after that, getting on the jet. I wanted to talk to him then because I couldn't stand the tension between us. I couldn't stand him being upset over something I said. I didn't because there were too many people around. I figured I would talk to him once we got back at headquarters but he disappeared before I could even leave my office.
"Damn," I banged my head on my office door. It hurt but I could care less. I sighed, what now. I grabbed my bags and left the building driving home. I hated it when he went home alone on public transport. He knows the dangers of taking it at night and I always hated it when he did it. Was he home already?
As soon as I got home I called him. He didn't answer any of the five calls. I groaned smacking my palm to my forehead twice.
"Come on, Pretty Boy, I need to know you're safe," I mumbled to myself as I began typing.
Me: I'm so sorry baby boy.
Me: I don't know why I said those things. I didn't mean any of them.
Me: I really didn't, I swear. It was just bullshit because I was upset and angry.
Me: it wasn't your fault and I'm so sorry baby.
Me: it wasn't fair to you, I wasn't fair to you.
I had no response and I was beginning to get worried.
Me: Pretty Boy, please reply. I know I don't deserve it but I just want to know you're home safe.
Me: Please, just please answer that.
I waited for what felt like forever and when I heard the ping of my phone I scrambled to check it, sighing in relief when I saw who it was from.
Pretty Boy: I'm home.
Two words littered the screen and I wish it had more but I knew I wasn't going to get any and I shouldn't expect any more. I really did mess up and I was going to fix it. I sent him a few more messages, trying to call but he didn't answer. It'll have to be tomorrow then.
The following morning I rushed to get to work knowing how early he liked to get there. Maybe I could catch him before anyone else arrived. I was in no luck because I had managed to get stuck in traffic twice and by the time I got there I was almost late. I sighed and walked into my office to sulk. The day could not get any worse.
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The day got worse as time seemed to be going by extremely slow. I walked by his desk a couple of times, hoping I would see a slimmer that would tell me he was okay but his eyes never even left the papers he was reading. I sat in my chair, flipping through endless pages when my door busted open. I snapped up and saw a very angry looking Garcia closing the door shut.
"Hey, mama, what's-"
"Oh don't 'hey, mama' me, Derek Morgan! Why did you yell at Spencer like that? Why would you say those things? You're not supposed to hurt him!" she yelled at me.
"Don't you think I know that? I know I messed up and I've been trying to talk to him since last night but he hasn't. I just want to give him space and I'm going to talk to him later today, I have to. I can't keep up with this," I rubbed my eyes.
"You didn't answer my question," she still looked rather angry. "Why did you tell him all those stupid things?"
"Because I was angry and upset we let the unsub escape. I couldn't control anything that was coming out of my mouth and I couldn't think straight. I was completely clouded and I wanted to kill that bastard so bad but the minute he said something about killing the child, it's like whatever I wanted to yell at James, I ended up yelling at Spencer for," I confessed. "God, Garcia, you of all people should know that I would never purposefully hurt him like that. You know I care about him too much to ever say or do anything to lose him," I swallowed not wanting to choke up.
"Oh my, honey," she sighed, rubbing her face. "I want to be angry at you and I still am it's just. I can't stand either of you not talking to each other especially since you're more than just friends. You need to fix this ASAP," she stated, hands on her hips.
"I don't know how," I gave her a weak smile.
"Don't you worry, that is why you have me to help you, darling," she grinned.
Garcia sent me home early so I could wait out in his apartment. We both had each other's keys in case of an emergency. I think he'd be angrier if I kicked the door down then if I used the key. I just sat there in his kitchen, going over what I was going to say to him in my head. I glanced at my watch only to see that three minutes had passed since the last time I had checked it.
I hadn't bought him flowers, I didn't do any of that. I knew he wasn't a materialistic person, if anything he would've been upset that I tried to fix things by buying him something.
Finally, I heard the locks click and I stood up, shoving my hands into my pockets. He stumbled when he opened the door once he found me inside.
"What are you doing here?" Spencer took a breath as if he was shocked.
"I needed to talk to you about what I said to you the other day while we were on the case," I watched the way his facial expression changed slightly, a sad undertone.
"Oh," he shut the door behind him. "What is there to say? Clearly, you said everything you thought about me," he shrugged, tossing his keys onto the entrance table.
"I didn't. Baby, you know I'd never say anything like that to you, ever. I swear to anything you want me to, I didn't mean anything I said," he set down his messenger bag n the sofa, turning to look at me with his arms folded.
"Regardless of whether or not you purposefully meant them, you said them because they came from somewhere. It still hurt, Morgan," I cringed at the sound of him pronouncing my last name. We dropped last names when we were together.
"They came from my anger. Everything I said wasn't meant for you, you were just the first person to speak. I was angry at James, I meant those things about James, baby. Not you. I do not think you're heartless nor do I think you're a bad person. You are just the opposite of both those things and you know that. I'm so sorry that I lashed out on you like that, it wasn't fair to you and you didn't deserve any bit of it," I looked at him hopelessly. Spencer's face fell and he looked down at his feet.
"It still hurt," he mumbled so quietly I don't think he wanted me to hear.
"I know and I'm sorry. I'll never be able to take those stupid words back, but I can try and make it up to you, if you let me," I take a few steps towards him, giving him enough time and space to push me away. He didn't, however, he let me get close. I reached over slowly, again giving him time and space but he didn't move, he just stared at the ground. "Sweetheart," I cupped his face and he leaned into it slightly making me smile.
"I forgive you," he shuffled his feet, "this time," he added. I smiled wider.
"There won't be a next time," I lifted his chin and his eyes followed up to meet mine. "Can I kiss you baby?" he nodded his head softly and I leaned in. Our lips met in a gentle embrace. It was slow and sweet. His hands came up to my face and mine went down to hold his hips, bringing him close. We pulled away, our foreheads leaning against one another.
"I'm hungry," he whispered. I pulled back and laughed loudly. "What? I am! I skipped lunch and I'm hungry," he pouted.
"You're adorable, Pretty Boy," I brushed away a few stray hairs. "What are you in the mood for? I can get some from your favorite restaurant since I know there isn't any real food in your fridge," his ears turned pink slightly.
"There's real food," he assured me.
"So you don't want take out?" I perked a brow.
"I was just saying I had real food but take out will be fine," he nodded, turning around and flopping on his couch. I chuckled.
"Alright, be back in a bit," I leaned over and pecked him on the lips before leaving his apartment. His favorite restaurant was all the way across town and if it was in the next town over, I still would have gone.
Spencer Reid
I stared at the door long after Derek had left. I was just glad that we were talking again. I always knew he didn't mean them deep down, but I just couldn't get over the initial sting. I peeled my eyes away from the door and decided to take a shower and get comfortable.
"Oh," I muttered to myself realizing where exactly he was heading to get food. That restaurant was half an hour away. I had plenty of time to shower but I felt bad having him go so far for a random Wednesday dinner.
I read a few books after I had finished showering and changing into pajamas, searching for his clothes in case he wanted to change too. I laid those out on the bed.
"Uh, you didn't tell me what you wanted and I forgot my phone in the car so I just got you your three favorites," I turned my head as I watched Derek walk in with the large brown paper bag in his hands.
"You could've just picked one," I chuckled, standing up and taking the bag from him. "But thank you. I left some of your clothes in my room if you wanted to shower and change."
"Be back," he pressed a kiss to my temple and jogged inside. I smiled at the small gesture and placed the food on plates. I might just eat all three.
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"I see you two have made up," Emily said when she walked into the elevator with us. Morgan nodded and I just shrugged. "Good, the bullpen is mopey when you're having your issues, kills the vibe."
"So surrounded by mutilated bodies and serial killers is fine, but our problems kill the vibe?" Morgan perked a brow.
"More specifically you're both depressed," she smirked.
"We were not depressed. I think the correct terminology would be I was upset and Derek was lost," I nodded my head.
"Hey now-" he paused, scrunching his eyebrows, "-no, nevermind, Pretty Boy's right," he shrugged.
"You guys are so cute I'm gonna puke, ugh," she grimaced. Derek rolled his eyes, reaching over and squeezing my hand.
"See you later, baby," he pressed a kiss to my forehead, and just like always, the timing was perfect and the elevator doors dinged open.
"Ew, remind me to never get into an elevator alone with you two. It's gonna make me get another Cat," she shuddered. We laughed and separated as per usual. Another boring yet respite day.