Just a little warning: this chapter talks about JJ's PTSD about his father and the four months he was alone. It's not much but I just wanted to put a warning out there.
Crashing waves are forcing the Phantom into a different direction than expected. The waves are mountains that the Phantom cannot climb over. But it will try. The Phantom will try to climb over the mountains to protect its occupants- John B and Sarah. The Phantom will protect them through the storm.
It's a fight that no one expected. Two star-crossed lovers from either side of town are lost at sea. They are being attacked by the monstrous waves in which are three times the size of the normal waves they face. But it's a fight worth taking. Freedom is the reward. They just need to take down the kingdom of angry waves. The anger is building but the brave John B and his beautiful girlfriend do not show any sense of weakness. The Phantom. John B. Sarah. The strongest team there is to battle the wicked storm. "We'll make it." John B reassures his girlfriend. Their love is strong enough to fight through any storm.
"As long as I am with you." Sarah hugs into his side. "I know I'm safe."
Their romance is sickening but also sweet, something that everyone dreams of having. They have to make it. They're lucky enough to have each other so the luck must continue. They are safe together. They have risked so much just to be together. Fighting Ward Cameron. Running away together. Going into the unknown. A single monstrous storm cannot be the reason for their downfall.
But when the water starts to go over the side of the Phantom, it becomes clear on who has the firm foot in this war. Water crashes into the boat, sweeping John B and Sarah off of their feet. John B reaches out to Sarah but it's too late. The waves cling onto Sarah and will not let her go. John B is yelling out to her but the waves are not giving up. The waves have completely taken over. Just like they did to Big John. John B keeps trying to get to Sarah but he is held back. Sarah struggles but they are too strong for her. They pull at her until it's too late for anyone to help. Sarah is gone. Submerged into the water.
And the storm is not through. It takes another strike. And another. It keeps attacking until it finally finds the crying form of the leader of the Pogues. The great John B. The strongest person in Outer Banks. The waves pull at John B until it finally fights to get him into the water. The waves have won. They have taken everything and swallowed everything whole.
The waves keep coming. It's only then that the Phantom releases Kiara onto the deck. The waves crash against the side of the Phantom as Kiara looks around the boat, trying to find a way for this nightmare to stop. Kiara Carrera stands strong. The waves have taken her friends but she can't let the waves take her as well. She can find a way off, even if she isn't the best sailor in the Pogues. Nor is she the smartest. She is still strong. She stays strong when an army of water gets thrown into the boat. She stands strong when the boat is filled up and she is struggling to breathe. She tries to keep strong until a tidal wave of water makes her fall to the ground.
The fear is evident in her eyes but the waves are not through with her. They keep attacking, struggling to drag her to the side of the boat. She cannot fight the force of the sea. She cannot hold on when she is all alone, on a boat that has already let her friends down. The waves climb until they are high enough to drag her to the same conclusion as John B and Sarah.
"Kie!" JJ's voice echoes around the emptiness of the boat. The waves have taken everyone from him. He doesn't care about remaining strong when everyone is already gone. The waves aim at the boat and come barricading towards JJ. But, when JJ is hit by the waves, he doesn't submerge into the water. Instead, he finds himself facing his dad in the same house that he has grown up in. "You killed them." Luke's voice is dark and sinister, JJ flinches at just the sound. JJ shakes his head at his father but this is the wrong thing to do. A swing is aimed at him from his own father, the punch landing on the side of JJ's already bruised face making him fall to the ground.
"You fucking killed them all! You worthless piece of shit!" Another hit, this time in the stomach.
"Your whore of a mother." A kick this time.
"Your best friends." A stomp.
Luke grabs a tool from his bench, leaning down hitting JJ on his head. "And then you try and take yourself?"
"Dad..." JJ is cut off by the sound of his arm snapping. Pain erupts in JJ making him hiss.
"Coward." Luke doesn't care about his pain. "You killed them! You fucking reckless kid!"
JJ keeps crying out in pain. But no one can hear him. No one can even see him. After a moment, JJ opens his eyes and finds his dad is gone. The house his empty but the darkness is evident. Everyone is gone and no one is coming back . JJ is alone. And it's all his fault.
...
JJ wakes, sitting quickly to realise it was just a dream. He only knows this because here he is, sat on a chair at the table whilst Kiara is sleeping soundly on the pull-out. She's not gone. Not yet anyways. The dream felt so real. His dad's words sounded so real; his punches felt so real that JJ is shocked to see no new bruises on his own body. No blood from being hit on the head. His arm is working so it cannot be broken. It was all a dream.
But JJ knows it wasn't all a dream. Memories and nightmares mix together to create something that JJ cannot stop thinking about. John B and Sarah are gone. The Phantom is gone. A beating did come from his dad when he found out about the Phantom. Luke kept blaming JJ for it all. And JJ believes every word. He can't help himself. 'They're dead because of you', 'if you didn't give him the Phantom.' The words replay every day. And JJ cannot forget them. JJ also knows that the four months that he spent alone, he kept thinking he lost everyone. He lost himself in the meantime.
JJ cannot get that fucked up night out of his head. After Luke passed out after almost strangling JJ to suffocation, JJ grabbed that fucking gun and thought about it. 'They'd still be alive if you were dead' Luke spat at him earlier that day. That night, JJ thought about how a life without the Maybanks would be so much better. He just had to fucking pull the trigger and then... then the cops would see JJ's bruises and think it was Luke. Or maybe he could take down Luke with him, then no cop would have to deal with either of them ever again. His mom did it. Butt his dad was right back then, JJ was a coward. He couldn't fire it. He couldn't do it. So now, JJ is haunted by that night.
Every night there is a new nightmare. His dad is always there. Most of them start with the storm that took John B and Sarah. All of them end the same, JJ on the floor. Shaking. In pain. Worthless.
Windows frame the dark sky, indicating that they haven't been asleep for long. JJ looks over at a sleeping Kiara. She looks so peaceful but JJ knows that she needs to go home. Anna Carrera may be a bitch but she cares much for her daughter. And she would go nuts if Kiara spends another night at the chateau. JJ stretches and moves towards Kiara's sleeping figure. He shakes her slightly. Kiara doesn't move. JJ snickers slightly, remembering how heavy of a sleeper Kiara is. He shakes her harder this time and breaks the silence. "Kie. You need to go home." She groans and rolls over, without opening her eyes.
"What?" Kiara groans.
"You gotta go home before your mom kills you." Kiara opens her eyes catching JJ's eyes in the process. JJ gets a sudden sense of awkwardness and quickly looks away. She sits up slowly and looks down at Brownie who is still asleep at the end of the pull-out. "We'll be fine, Kie." She doesn't look up at him when she nods, keeping her eyes glued on Brownie.
The small ball of fluff looks so peaceful as he sleeps on the edge of the pull-out. JJ listens to small whimpers coming out of Brownie's mouth as his feet begin to kick. He is deep in a dream and JJ doesn't want to wake him. He deserves to be happy. But JJ still questions if he is the best answer for him. JJ is broken and a small pup shouldn't have to deal with that. It's only then that JJ remembers what Kiara said. They're in this together. JJ knows she'll be able to look after Brownie. He knows she will keep him safe.
Kiara gradually gets out of the bed, slipping on her shoes and making her way to the door. "See you in the morning Maybank." Kiara smiles at JJ. A weird feeling clenches in his core but he decides to ignore it. "Thanks for letting him stay." JJ nods.
"Better than being alone." JJ thinks Kiara is about to question his tone but she doesn't. She just turns on her feet and walks out of the chateau leaving JJ alone with his thoughts.
...
The next few months blend into one. JJ wakes up in the middle of the night from a new nightmare. The only changes being that Brownie sometimes shows up in the nightmares as well. JJ stays awake for the rest of the long nights, watching the sleeping puppy. The breaths of Brownie remind JJ that he is not alone. That the nightmares are simply that. JJ is safe now. Brownie wakes up every morning in the same matter- jumping around sniffing to find if there is any food still on the floor of the chateau. Brownie jumps around until JJ lays down his bowl of food.
To avoid the silence, JJ tells stories to Brownie every day.
"This house once held a group of friends that needed to get away. John B the leader. Pope the brains. Kiara Carrera the level-headed one. And a boy that just needed a place to fit in. The house became something that they needed, especially when days were long and hard-going. It was a place they could get together with their friends to forget about their problems. It's a safe house. The chateau is a home to the Pogues." JJ likes to tell the stories of the Pogues to Brownie, even when he isn't even listening to JJ. They're the memories that JJ will never get back but he still wants to relive them every day. "You're a Pogue now, Brownie."
These few months have been the same for Kiara as well. Kiara wakes up every morning in her own house. She gets some questioning looks from her mom. Kiara heads to the pet shop to pick up more essentials for Brownie and then heads to the chateau. She promises JJ that she'll be there every morning no matter what. She's not going to break that promise.
Every morning, JJ and Kiara sit at the table and watch Brownie try and find a new thing to wreck. He destroys every toy that Kiara buys in the week but JJ and Kiara don't care. Brownie is happy. They watch how Brownie grows and sees how quickly the gash on his forehead heals over. It shocks JJ how quickly Brownie grows. But he smiles every time Kiara mentions it.
It becomes an unspoken rule to not bring up anything that will make them feel down. So, they don't talk about John B. They don't talk about Sarah. They hardly ever even talk about Pope. They don't talk about JJ's dad- though that isn't new, the Pogues never speak about Luke Maybank. And they don't talk about the time that they slept together. To be honest, the only thing that JJ and Kiara ever really talk about is Brownie.
The chateau is now filled with doggy essentials. Every wire is taped and there is a gate between the kitchen and the living area so Brownie cannot sneak food in the middle of the night. Kiara has bought so many toys over the last few months that there are more things that belong to Brownie in the chateau than what JJ owns.
It isn't until Brownie is five months old that Kiara decides to change their everyday routine. It's after a day where JJ has been looking after Brownie. Brownie found a way to get to his food to eat double his weight. They were so angry at Brownie that Kiara ended up storming out. JJ calms down when Brownie looks up at JJ with those puppy eyes that no one can say no to. JJ is sat on the floor with Brownie jumping all over him when Kiara comes back to the chateau with a new bag of dog food. JJ can see the anger in her eyes, it makes JJ smirk. "Cooled down?" JJ jokes at her.
"Don't." Kiara snaps back, dumping the bag of food on the table.
"Sorry." JJ cannot help but laugh at how something so small can annoy someone as put together as Kiara. But nevertheless, Kiara slumps down next to JJ and starts to stroke the hyperactive dog. JJ watches her movements. Kiara keeps an angered expression, but JJ knows Kiara. She is putting up a front that is starting to break down. A smile is forming even if she is trying to fight it. "He just likes to eat, Kie." Kiara snickers quietly before shaking her head.
"This fucking dog." The dog is happily jumping around Kiara. Neither of them can stay mad at him.
"He's the best."
"Yeah." JJ can feel Kiara's eyes on him. "He really is." JJ fights an urge to look at her but the fight doesn't work as he finds himself glancing at Kiara. Their eyes lock, teasing to see who will be the first to look away. JJ loses as he clears his throat and looks back down to the puppy.
"We need to train him." Kiara breathes out, breaking a silence JJ didn't even know there was.
"Neither of us are dog trainers, Kie."
"And?" Kiara starts. "Dogs need to be trained so they don't become aggressive and out of control." Aggressive? Brownie? Yeah, right. "Normal people train their dogs every day so it can't be that hard."
"You have met us, right?"
Kiara rolls her eyes at his attempt of a joke "I know you're not fully trained yourself, JJ." JJ scoffs at her, playfully "But Brownie needs to be trained."
"What do you have in mind?"
"Healing, sitting, walking next to us. Just the basics." JJ nods at her, giving in like he often does.
That afternoon, Kiara forces JJ to help her start training Brownie. They decide to start with the basic command of sitting. JJ reluctantly goes along with her. They continuously repeat the command to see if Brownie would just react to it. Brownie doesn't. They are stood outside the chateau, looking down at Brownie and trying to convince him to follow command. It doesn't work. Brownie keeps eating the grass and rolling around. The look in Brownie's eyes makes them wonder if the dog even knows how to listen to them. When Kiara says Brownie's name, Brownie doesn't respond. Brownie keeps chasing his tail, enjoying being outside. "Kie, I think our dog is broken."
"Shut up, JJ."
They keep trying to teach him to sit for the whole day, but the dog is having none of it. He has issues keeping focus. Brownie finds food underneath the pull-out when they are teaching him to sit inside. Brownie keeps sniffing at a tree when they are outside the chateau. They end up giving up when they are at the beach and Brownie seems to be more focussed on the waves than the command.
JJ keeps laughing as Brownie tries to catch the waves, missing every time. JJ chases after the growing white and brown pup. Brownie ends up going into the waves and being knocked over by a small rift in the water. JJ thinks he almost has a heart attack when he sees the fear in Brownie's eyes.
He can't be taken by the waves.
The nightmares cannot become a reality and JJ worries this every day. He quickly pulls the shaking puppy out of the water and walks back up the beach to where Kiara is talking to a guy that he has never seen before. They are laughing when JJ and Brownie join them. JJ watches as the guy's smile drops as soon as his eyes catch JJ's. "I should go." The unknown guy awkwardly says. JJ watches him confused as he gives Kiara one more soft smile before making his way down the beach.
"Who was that?" JJ turns to Kiara. Kiara rolls her eyes at him and starts giving attention to Brownie who is till coughing up water.
"We went to high school together."
"Kook?"
"So?" Kiara stands back straight, giving a death stare to JJ.
"Nothing." JJ clears his throat. "Just didn't recognise him." JJ can still feel the awkwardness between himself and Kiara and he doesn't know why it was even created. He just wanted to know who her new friend was. JJ thought he was Kiara's only friend in Outer Banks now. Kiara doesn't look at him when she takes Brownie from his arms and places Brownie onto the sand.
Brownie digs into the sand as if the worry of being taken by the waves are gone. JJ still remembers the fear though. JJ is sure he saw the same fear radiating off of Brownie that he feels in his nightmares. The fear of being swallowed up whole.
This day creates a shift between JJ and Kiara. The random guy from the beach isn't seen by JJ again but that is because himself and Kiara create a new unspoken agreement of not mentioning each other's hook-ups to each other. They avoid the one night stands that happen to avoid any awkwardness being created.
...
Four months go by with JJ and Kiara trying to train Brownie. JJ's thoughts of Brownie being an un-teachable dog prove to be wrong when Brownie quickly learns how to walk on the lead and come back when someone calls his name.
Kiara and JJ's daily routine changes through these months. Every night, JJ still wakes up from a nightmare ending with him on the floor. And every morning, Kiara comes in to make sure that they are still both alive. She still brings new toys for Brownie and still has to refill the food as Brownie still eats like a monster. What has changed is that JJ now walks Brownie every morning and then Kiara and JJ work together to keep training Brownie. Kiara is determined to teach Brownie to sit. But Brownie is still not responding to the command, his hyperactive side will not let him sit still.
Another thing that has changed is how long Kiara stays round the chateau. She used to go home before it got dark so that her parents wouldn't come hunting for her. Now, Kiara finds herself not wanting to leave the chateau until JJ has fallen asleep. She normally doesn't want to leave even then. Her own nightmares still haunt her nights and she can't help but feel safe whenever she is in the chateau, surrounded by her only Pogue left and the puppy that is growing into a full-sized dog. She often stays at the chateau until her mom or dad sends her a snotty text, asking where she is. She always lies, saying that she is at the beach. Alone. They would flip if they found out that she was staying late at the chateau every night. It's the reason she still hasn't told her parents about Brownie.
Today, when Kiara wakes up, she doesn't even bother to wait for her parents to wake up before leaving the house. She quickly grabs her bag and her keys and she leaves. Her parents judging has only been getting worse. Her dad keeps asking about her friends even though Kiara knows he's just trying to find out if she is still messing around on the cut. Her mom keeps gossiping with her Kook friends. The news of Ward Cameron's arrest for the murder of Big John has become the main subject of the gossip. Her mom believes John B framed Ward to get back at him. Kooks keep following the Camerons as if they are gods. Kiara can't stand hearing her mother's snarls about her friend that died an innocent man.
So, Kiara leaves earlier than she normally does and doesn't stop at the pet shop. Kiara feels a necessary pull towards the chateau that won't give way for a second to allow her to breathe. She needs the chateau.
When she parks up outside and walks into the chateau, she is surprised to find no JJ and no Brownie. Maybe he took Brownie on an early walk, Kiara thinks. She walks through the chateau to find another chew toy- this time a small giraffe cuddly toy- destroyed. The stuffing is all over the floor and the head of the giraffe has been decapitated and flung across the floor. Brownie loves destroying his toys more than actually playing with them. Kiara can't help but laugh at the toy murder scene.
Typical Brownie.
Kiara goes to grab the broom from the porch where it was left after the last murder scene in which she had to clean up. She stops in her tracks when she spots JJ and Brownie outside, by the abandoned hot tub. They had to keep the hot tub that Kiara would prefer to forget. They had to keep it after a storm destroyed the side of it making it extremely hard to sell. It has been sat outside th chateau ever since that day without anyone going in it. That is until now.
Moving closer to then, Kiara stops dead in her tracks when she hears her name. She remains still, out of sight of JJ and Brown, and listens. "So, Kiara came into our lives when us Pogues were messing about at the beach. Your uncle Pope nearly drowned just at the sight of it." Kiara quietly laughs at the memory. "She was this cool, hippie looking chick that wanted to know everything about surfing. Luckily for her, she made friends with the best surfer in Outer Banks."
"Yeah right." Kiara scoffs, breaking her cover and moving from behind the tree. JJ turns to her with the biggest smirk plastered onto his face.
"You know I'm the best, Kie" Kiara playfully rolls her eyes at JJ and walks closer to Brownie. Kiara goes down to Brownie's level and starts messing with his outgrown fur. JJ leans against the open hot tub.
"Don't listen to him, Brownie. He's full of shit." Kiara plays along.
"Language, Kie!" JJ leans down to cover Brownie's ears.
"Since when do you care about language, JJ?"
"Since this little puppy came into our lives." Our lives. Kiara doesn't know why, but those two words make her miss a breath.
JJ stands back straight and takes off his t-shirt. The bruises are gone but the cuts still remain. Kiara can't help but look to check if there is any more damage. Since that night, Kiara checks JJ for bruises. She looks at any part of him that she can: his chest, arms, face. She knows he hasn't seen his dad in months but Kiara wonders how long he can keep it up- how long JJ can hide before getting another beating.
He is watching her eyes examine his body but Kiara doesn't look away. She needs to be sure that he's not hurting anymore. "Getting a good enough look?" JJ jokes, stretching and posing making Kiara look away with a hot flushed face.
"Shut up, JJ."
"No bruises, okay Kie?" Of course, JJ knows what she's looking for. His smirk is escaping his face, showing off a much more serious look. "What are you doing?" Kiara quickly asks to change the conversation.
"My boy needs to learn how to swim." JJ replies with a duh attitude, making Kiara roll her eyes. "I don't want him drowning in the sea anytime soon."
"And you're going to teach him in the hot tub?"
"Exactly." Kiara scoffs as she watches him get into the old water. Kiara knows the water has not been changed but decides not to dwell on it. She doesn't exactly want to bring up that night.
Standing in the middle of the hot tub, JJ looks at Kiara. Kiara looks back with her stomach coiling. This is too familiar to the time JJ yelled about buying this fucking hot tub for his friends. It brings back too many bad memories of the time he cried so hard that Kiara had to climb in with him and how they stayed there for hours, not saying anything. She can feel her tears forming in her eyes by the memories that she so wants to forget. She wants to forget about the tears that she cried herself to sleep that night, thinking about how she should have saw it earlier. She should have figured it out and done something about it.
"Are you going to help me or what?" JJ breaks her track of thought. She looks at him confused as he splashes around the water. "Come on, help me teach Brownie."
"I'm not getting in that water."
"Why not?"
"It's nearly been a year since you put this water in here." Kiara is nearly sick of the thought.
"Relax Kie. I changed the water before getting in." Wow. Kiara didn't expect JJ to think of that. "I'm not that stupid." Yeah. Maybe he isn't. Kiara looks down at Brownie, thinking about it. Brownie is stood up on his two back feet, trying to look into the water in the hot tub. He's not big enough to reach yet but he looks so eager to try. Brownie looks up at Kiara with pleading eyes. Kiara sighs in defeat and takes off her shirt to reveal her bikini. She ties her hair into a bun and ignores the victorious JJ looking at her from the hot tub.
She takes off her clothes and helps Brownie into the water, passing him into the waiting arms of JJ before stepping into the water herself. She winces at how cold the water is before sitting down opposite JJ. She watches as Brownie tries to wriggle out of JJ's arms to get to Kiara. "Look, Brownie wants his mommy." Kiara jokes in her best baby voice.
"Only because he knows you cave easily."
"Says the guy that named him after a brownie he was allowed to eat." JJ shrugs and laughs.
"He just wanted to eat." Kiara snickers at him.
"Yeah, chocolate. The poison for dogs." They both end up laughing with the puppy sitting on JJ, still trying to bite the water.
They spend almost the whole day in the hot tub, helping Brownie find the confidence to try and swim between each other. He goes under a couple of times, but his tail keeps wagging back and forth showing his love for the water. All three of them spend the time splashing around until Kiara gives off an obvious shiver which JJ notices.
When they get out of the water, Kiara cannot stop shivering. JJ notices. Without saying anything, Kiara feels a thud of a sweater hitting the side of her head. She quickly looks at JJ and gives him a thankful smile before pulling it over herself. It warms her up almost immediately.
...
She doesn't mean to do it. One moment Kiara is joking around with JJ about how Brownie will not sit. The next thing she knows, she is fast asleep on the pull-out. And she doesn't mean to stay over. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, like she always does, she notices a blanket has been thrown over he. She doesn't think much of it. But, instead of getting up and leaving like she would normally do, Kiara lays back down onto the pull-out and falls back to sleep.
The normal nightmares do not show up whilst she sleeps on the pull-out. She instead dreams of teaching Brownie to swim. JJ and Kiara are sat there in the water, watching their puppy swim back and forth. The both are smiling like a Cheshire Cat as Brownie is yelping happily, proud of himself and his new found ability to swim. The dream is the type of dream that she does not want to wake up from. That is why she is annoyed when she is woken up by the loud sound of Brownie howling at the door.
Sun is shining through the windows, providing light to see exactly what Brownie is shouting at. Kiara sits up and looks at the door that Brownie is attacking. It's then that she sees a shadow of a person stood the other side of the door. Brownie keeps shouting as Kiara gets off of the pull-out. Sleep is still full in her eyes but she stretches anyways, trying to wake herself up. The knock at the door gets louder as Brownie gets louder.
Too early, Brownie.
Kiara makes her way to the door and gently opens it, allowing a tidal wave of light come crashing into the room. It takes a moment for Kiara to focus herself and look out of the door. "Kiara." Kiara's eyes snatch open as she looks out to where her mother is stood with her hands on her hips, looking at her daughter with the judging eyes in which Kiara is use to. She can see the shock in her mom's eyes as Anna looks down to Brownie who is sniffing at her feet.
"Kie, what's going on?" JJ makes his way out into the living area. He comes out only in sweatpants. And his hair is all over the place. Kiara internally cringes as she turns back to her mother who has now got an angered expression pressed onto her face. Kiara knows what she's thinking.
Fuck this is going to be fun.