Chronicles of an Elven Bed-warmer
Chapter the fourth
God save the Queen
I can't think of a funny way to say that I don't own Dragon Age.
There was a brief moment of stunned silence. Aedan was the first to recover.
"Your Majesty I-" He started. He never got a chance to finish whatever he planned to say though.
At almost exactly the same time, Kallian had made an adrenaline fueled dash for the only thing in the comfortably furnished sitting room that even vaguely resembled a weapon: the fireplace poker. Her mind was racing to try to find an escape route. Okay, the door is guarded, she took a quick glance out the window, and we're on the third floor. Kallian didn't even consider attacking the King and Queen, she was still Ferelden after all. She wondered if she could squeeze herself up the chimney.
"Kallian." Aedan moved in front of her, breaking her frantic train of thought.
"I'm not going back!" She yelled defiantly with a just noticeable twinge of panic creeping into her voice.
Aedan sighed. Of course she would react like this. "Calm down" He ordered.
"You fucking calm down!" She bit back, forgetting he was a noble in her fury. How could he expect her to calm down in such a situation? She was going to get locked up. Killed. After everything…
"I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He said, looking directly into her eyes.
Kallian shook her head and brandished the poker threateningly.
"You need to trust me." He started to move towards her. Strangely, that statement stopped her. She did trust him, Kallian realized. He had saved her life after all. She started to lower the poker. Sensing her flagging resolve, Aedan stepped up to her and gently took it away.
"Nothing is going to happen to you." He repeated in a reassuring tone. "I promise."
Aedan embraced her. After a few brief moments she collected herself and pushed him away, sending him a thankful smile.
"Thanks." She murmured as they looked into each other's eyes.
"Well," Interrupted the Queen. "That was dramatic. Are you ready to behave in a civilized manner now, Miss Tabris?"
"Yes, your majesty." she answered in a tired voice.
Aedan put his arm around her shoulders and steered her to sit down beside him on the couch.
"Have some tea." Suggested the King. "It's supposed to be calming."
Very carefully, Kallian took a sip, painfully aware that the cup was probably worth more than her house. Still, the tea did seem to help.
"She's not going to be executed." Aedan said in a very serious voice that Kallian hadn't heard him use before. He actually sounded like a noble, she subconsciously noted, as she tensed. This was their 'moment of truth.'
Both Aedan and Kallian were rather taken aback when the Queen raised an eyebrow and Callian released a small chuckle.
"How would we do that? She died in prison a week ago. We are not in the habit of executing dead people." The Queen replied.
"Well, unless they're zombies." Callian interjected.
Anora rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Yes, dear. Unless they're zombies."
"B-but I killed a noble!" and his friends and a lot of guards and some dogs, she added. Kallian still felt kind of bad about the dogs. They couldn't just let her off like that, could they?
"No." corrected the Queen. "You killed Vaughn." She paused momentarily in thought. "That should really merit some kind of civic award. Maybe a plaque 'On this spot in 9:30 Dragon Kallian Tabris killed the biggest jackass in all of Ferelden.' Something to mark the occasion for future generations."
"Nobody liked him." Callian added, while surreptitiously looking at Kallian's breasts.
"Indeed." Anora agreed, shooting her husband a warning glare. "Indeed, I'm quite cross with you Aedan Cousland." The abrupt shift of attention onto him caught Aeden off guard.
"Um… May I ask why, Your Majesty?" Aedan asked awkwardly.
"I've been working for months. Building a case for royal control of the alienages. Then, like a gift from the Maker, this incident with Vaughn happens! It created much public sympathy for the elves and brought to light abuses of the current administrators. I had a royal pardon all lined up so Miss Tabris there," she gestures at Kallian. "The very sympathetic hero of the tale, could testify before the Landsmeet and the alienages can be removed to royal control." She glared at Aeden, whose broad frame shrunk slightly. "And what happens? It comes to my attention that she has 'died'. Coincidentally after a visit from Lord Cousland. And even more coincidentally the same day Captain Kirahee quits after coming into the possession of a rather large sum of money." She gave Aedan a flat look. "Really Aedan? You couldn't wait one more day for your new bed-warmer?"
The bed-warmer comment seemed to go right over Aedan's head but Kallian caught the reference and gasped indignantly.
"She was being tortured!" He protested, seeming to have missed Anora's insinuation.
Anora sniffed dismissively. "Miss Tabris a tough girl, she would have been fine." The elf in question started to open her mouth to disagree but remembered that this was the Queen and thought better of it.
The Queen coolly took a sip of her tea. "Anyway, as your concubine there-"
"It's not like that!" the Lord and the elf protested in unison – this time, Aedan had heard.
Anora shot them a skeptical look. "Is dead." she continued as if she had not been interrupted. "She can't appear before the Landsmeet." (Testimony from deceased individuals is inadmissible in court as a provision of the anti-necromancy act of 7:28 Exalted)
She sighed theatrically but then perked up. "Fortunately there was another victim..."
Kallian saw where this was going before Anora went any further. "No! Shianni is in no condition to -"
Anora cut her off in much the same way. "It's cute that you think I care. At what point did I make you think this was a request?" she said with deceptive sweetness.
Kallian sputtered in outrage, unable to form a coherent word (much less a sentence) in her fury. Couldn't the Queen see that they weren't just pawns to be used?
"Your sister -"
"Cousin." Corrected Callian, smirking that he had one-upped Anora at last.
"Er, yes." Anora shot the king a glare. "Your cousin WILL testify before the Landsmeet."
"But -" Kallian tried to protest.
She was steamrolled though. "Your only say in the matter is whether she finds out from you or when several of the royal guardsmen show up on her doorstep tomorrow morning." Interrupted Anora in her 'I am the Queen and you will do what I say' voice. It was… extremely effective.
"Why do you want the alienage anyway?" Kallian sulked.
"I like elves," she answered evasively. "They're pretty."
"Money." Interjected Callian at almost the exact same time, earning himself another glare from Anora. Evidently, the Queen hadn't wanted to discuss this here.
"But... Elves don't have any money?" Pointed out the only elf in the room. The condition of the alienage was more than enough to show how poor they were.
"Currently that's true but that is why we have Lord Aedan here." Callian gestured.
Aedan stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I was wondering when you would get to me, I was starting to feel left out."
Anora sighed. Why were men so childish?
"Aedan, how much did your family collect in taxes from Highever alienage last year?"
"Um..." He tried to recollect the numbers his accountant had presented him with, and then added it up in his head. "Approximately twenty-five-hundred sovereigns."
Kallian was stunned, that was a lot of coin.
Anora inclined her head before continuing the chain of questions as though talking to a young, very dumb, child. "And who is in charge of Highever alienage?"
"Um...Me?" Aedan deadpanned, failing to see where she was going.
The Queen sighed. "Yes, you, and how did you get the alienage to be so profitable?"
"Oh!" It would seem that Aedan finally understood. "Well..."Aedan went into a spiel of information that had a lot of words Kallian didn't understand, like 'infrastructure improvement', 'Entrepreneurial expansion' and quite a lot about something called the "Free Market". If the market was free then how did it make any money? She was baffled.
The Queen seemed impressed enough though. "Aedan, what would you say if I were to offer you control of the alienages?"
"What all of them?" Aedan blinked in astonishment. He certainly hadn't been expecting that!
Anora's answer was an unequivocal "Yes."
"No stupid lords arguing with me?" he clarified. The Landsmeet was such a pain sometimes.
Callian shook his head. "No, you don't have to deal with those idiots – I would. Ugh."
Anora glared at the King. "You would answer directly to the crown." she confirmed.
He looked extremely thoughtful. "I would probably say yes."
"It's a bit early for that isn't it?" Callian remarked to Anora.
"It was a purely speculative inquiry," answered the Queen smugly.
0-0
Later, after the meeting had ended and the pair had been escorted back to their carriage, Kallian wondered aloud. "Was she serious about sending the guard to Shianni?"
"I don't know." Aedan answered honestly. The Queen enjoyed her mind games – rather like her father, that one.
Kallian stared out of the window for a bit before speaking again. "Um...Aedan?"
"You want to stop by the alienage?" He guessed.
She was surprised he'd read her so well, but nodded in agreement. "Yes, please."
Aedan rapped twice on the roof and the driver's head came into view. "M'lord?" Inquired the older male elf.
"Swing 'round to the alienage would you Dobson
"Sir?" Dobson's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. His receding hairline, to be precise. "Are you sure? The wife will give me hell if anything happens to you."
"I can handle Elle." Aedan waved off the concern. "Just do what I say."
The elf's dubious expression clearly communicated his doubts at that claim. "If you say so sir." He replied as he climbed back up to the driver's seat.
"Er, if you could just drop me off..." Began Kallian.
She was roundly interrupted though. "Nonsense, I'm coming with you."
"Um..." Kallian paused, processing the many ways in which that was a bad idea. "You don't need to, uh, it's not exactly safe." For humans went unsaid but was clearly implied.
Aedan didn't notice. "All the more reason for me to go then. Now," He lifted up one of the seat cushions to reveal a small cache of weapons and armor. "Help me put this chain mail on."
Kallian decided not to argue. Aedan could be surprisingly stubborn. By the time he had successfully donned his armor and retrieved his weapons, a heavy steel maul and a crossbow, they had reached the alienage entrance.
"It won't take very long, really, you'll hardly notice I'm gone." She said in one last futile attempt to get him to stay with the coach.
He still got out of the coach after her. "No, no I insist, if I'm going to be running the place I need to see what I have to work with."
"Okay, fine." She sighed. He was armed, so he probably could take care of himself. "But don't say I didn't warn you."
0-0
Aedan was stunned. He had expected the alienage to be bad but this was much worse than he had anticipated. How could anyone live like this? Not only were the streets not paved but no one had even bothered to put any gravel down either. As a result they were trudging through ankle-deep mud. And the buildings, if the word even applied to such ramshackle structures, seemed to have been made entirely out of scrap wood and were almost uniformly on the verge of collapse.
"This is awful." He declared bluntly.
"It's not that bad." Kallian responded automatically but without any real conviction. She didn't need to turn around to feel Aedan's dubious expression. "Okay, maybe it is, but it's better than nothing."
He snorted in disagreement. 'Nothing' he could work with, there was a lot of potential in 'nothing,' but this...he didn't even know where to begin! Deciding not to think about that right now he concentrated on following Kallian without falling into the mud and drowning.
Eventually they came upon a house that was less ruined than the others. Kallian knocked on the door.
"Hi Dad." She gave her father a hug. "Is Shianni in?"
"Kallian! Uh...yes she and..." He wrinkled his brow in concentration. "Valora? Are sharing your old room."
"Good evening Mr. Tabris." Aedan made his presence known.
"Lord Cousland? Uh, what a surprise," He turned to where Soris was standing with a perplexed look on his face. "Soris! Make some tea." He ordered with the slightest trace of panic in his voice.
"Why do I have to -" Soris's protest was silenced by Cyrion's glare.
"Um... Right away uncle." He turned towards the stove. "Valora?" He called. "How do you make tea?" His wife rolled her eyes and went over to help him.
While this was going on, Kallian had slipped unnoticed into her old room. Shianni was sitting in bed doing some sewing. She looked quite a bit better than the last time Kallian had seen her but still didn't seem to be back to her old self yet.
"Hey." she greeted her cousin.
Shianni looked up at her with an expression of shock. "Kallian? You're alive?" She seemed genuinely surprised.
"Didn't father tell you?" Kallian frowned. She distinctly remembered her father saying that he would tell Shianni.
"I thought he was trying to make me feel better. Like that time your dog was run over by a cart and uncle said he ran away to live on a farm." Shianni replied.
Kallian stared. She'd always believed that story. "Scruffy died?"
Shianni rolled her eyes. "Focus, Kallian."
"Right." she said, focusing. "Why did you think that?"
"Well, it's pretty unlikely, the son of the second highest noble in the land rescued you." she scoffed. "So, how did you really escape?"
"Aedan Cousland gave the captain of the guard a hundred sovereigns to say that I had died and then took me home with him." Kallian summarized.
The redhead's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped open. She stayed like that for some time. Kallian was starting to get concerned. Was her cousin in shock or something? "Shianni?"
Her cousin suddenly sprang out of bed and pulled her into an embrace. "Oh Maker, he tried to make you his sex slave didn't he?" Shianni was setting a world record in conclusion jumping. "It must have been so awful! But everything is okay now. You're safe here and everything will be alright." She tightened her embrace on her perplexed cousin. "How did you escape?"
"I asked if we could stop by the alienage on the way back from the palace. I think you've got the wrong idea about Aedan, he's really very nice." Oh no, Shianni thought she's been brainwashed! Human men, especially nobles, were only after one thing. It was the same thing elven men were after but she was ignoring that little detail right now.
"Oh really? Then why is he making you wear such skimpy armor." Shianni pulled back to poke at the leather.
Kallian pulled back as well, to get away from her cousin's fingers. "It's Dalish. It's part of my disguise."
Shianni rolled her eyes. "Sure it is."
"It is!" Kallian protested, truly baffled. "Why are you being like this? You haven't even met him yet."
"He's a noble, don't you remember what they're like?" Shianni shot back.
"Dammit Shianni, he's not Vaughn!" Shianni flinched like she'd been slapped. "Vaughn is dead, I killed him myself. Aedan is nothing like him."
The fiery redhead recovered herself quickly. "Hmph." she snorted derisively.
"Look, he's here why don't you come meet him?" Kallian replied in a conciliatory tone.
"Fine," she stuck her nose into the air haughtily. "Let's go see the pervert." she said and strode out into the other room.
"Nothing like an open mind..." Kallian mumbled to herself as she followed Shianni out of her – well, Shianni's room.
Next time; I'm not entirely sure, school will be starting up again so I'll have less time to write. So update will most likely have even more significant intervals but I am planning on finishing this, Not really sure how yet, but if it looks dead then it's only resting. It can be resuscitated by reviews.