A single bullet is needed.
One shot. That is all that is needed.
It's not even hard to work out where to aim. One shot is all that is needed for everything to be over. For the world to be free from JJ Maybank. Two shots and the world can be freed of the Maybanks entirely.
It only takes seconds. Any idiot can do it. Just aim the gun. And shoot.
His breathing speeds up as he looks into his dad's eyes. Luke's eyes reflect every hit, every beating that JJ has had to take. Luke's eyes reflect the pain that he causes JJ with just his voice. Sometimes, Luke's words hurt the most. The words echo something that JJ learns to believe and they hurt. Four months of JJ learning to live with the fact that his dad will never love him- that JJ can't be loved- all surround this one night. The night that JJ has had enough of it.
It's the night after Luke has returned from a bender with only one thought in his head. 'JJ deserves to feel pain tonight.' It's the night that Luke goes for the boy in his bedroom who is half asleep. He reaches for JJ's neck and holds on, making sure to leave marks.
JJ was five years old when he learned to never fall into a deep sleep. It was the night he fell asleep and was woken to his dad snapping his arm in half. JJ remembers the pain as he screamed and his mother tried to run to him at the same time Luke turned around and hit JJ's mother to the ground. The rest of that night, JJ's mom held him to soothe his tears. JJ's mom had put JJ's arm in a homemade sling and was resting a bandage on her cut head. JJ was still struggling to breathe. "Count with me JJ bean." His mom rocked him back and forth as he tried to remember to breathe."1, 2, 3…" She started.
"4, 5, 6…" JJ joined in.
"7, 8, 9…"
"10." Never again will JJ fall into a deep sleep.
The hold on JJ's neck makes JJ worry how far Luke will go. But as his dad keeps a strong grip on his neck, JJ wonders what would happen if Luke were to snap it. Finally take the last swing to finish him off. But Luke doesn't finish the job. He leaves when JJ passes out with Luke's words surrounding his thoughts. 'I did everything you piece of shit!', 'You're just like your whore mother', 'No one loved her either.'
When JJ finally gains back consciousness, he can't fight back the tears that he knows will cause him a further beating from his father. 'Stop crying like a bitch!' He can imagine his dad saying. His head spirals as he finds himself struggling to breathe. It's then that he gets the idea. That is a lie. The idea planted itself in JJ's head as soon as John B showed JJ the gun in the motel. It acted as a safety net the whole time they hunted for gold. But JJ always knew it could be his way out. However, only now is that way out needed.
Just one fucking bullet.
And JJ would be out of this world forever.
Just like his dad always wanted.
Just like the gossip from around the Kooks wanted.
JJ grabs the gun from underneath his clothes in his drawer. His eyes are filled with tears but he fights through it, knowing it will be all over in only a moment. He thinks of how life could be different. He thinks about how his life won't change the lives of others as he holds the gun up to his head.
"1, 2, 3…" JJ cries through his counting.
"4, 5, 6…" JJ cries through spiralling voices of his parents.
"7, 8, 9…" JJ cries through the last memory of John B and Sarah.
"10." JJ cries as he pulls the trigger.
But the gun does not go off. JJ is breathing heavily as he lets the tears fall from his eyes. He goes to give up but the burning sound of Luke Maybank's voice fills his mind. 'You can't do anything right!' The counting starts again.
"1, 2, 3…" JJ focuses. But it doesn't work. His voice echoes the numbers as he finds himself counting with Kiara.
"4, 5, 6…" It still isn't working. Kiara flashes in front of his eyes again, her own breathing becoming short.
"7, 8, 9…" The counting doesn't help JJ as he watches unfair tears from Kiara's eyes.
"10." The gun is heavy in his hand as he looks around his empty room. No one is there. It's just JJ and the loaded gun. The gun is loaded with the spiteful words from his father. The gun is loaded with every hit that JJ has faced. The gun is loaded with the fucking storm that took everything unfairly. He can't help but shake as he looks at down at the weapon that could take his life.
A thud comes from the other room in JJ's house. Shit. His dad is awake. JJ feels himself as he hyperventilates and stuffs the gun into his backpack. JJ can hear his father's movements with his harsh voice breaking the silence "Boy!".
…
Shit.
JJ bolts from the bed, standing and backing against the wall. He moves his arms in front of his body, anticipating the pain his dad will create. But his dad isn't there. He isn't even in the house in which he grew up in. The walls around him are put together by the love of the Pogues. The Chateau is the home to the Pogues. The only place that they can feel safe. JJ scrunches his eyes together to try and settle his breathing, forcing away the tears to try and remind himself that he hasn't seen his dad in almost two years.
Even if it has been two years, JJ can't fight the monsters in the night. Leaning against the wall, JJ strikes his head back wanting to get that night out of his head. It doesn't work. The pain is suddenly soothing, something he has grown up feeling. Something he knows he should be feeling. JJ goes to strike his own head again but stops before any pain floods through him when he notices the porch door is open.
Did JJ really forget to close the door? Kiara would kill him if Brownie got out, if Brownie ran away. He makes his way to the door, feeling the crisp night air hit his sleepless figure. That's when he sees her. Kiara is sat on the porch couch, looking into the night sky with Brownie slouched on her lap. Her eyes are wide with wonder as they trace the stars in the sky. A soft smile is plastered on her face as her eyes keep looking out into the world out there. Kiara has always cared for the environment. JJ likes seeing her eyes go wide whenever she talks about the world with such a positive nature, even if JJ has only been shown the negative side of the world. JJ likes to try and imagine the world that Kiara paints. It always sounds soothing.
He just watches Kiara as she mindlessly strokes the calm Brownie. They look so innocent as they sit there, in the cut, where most people feel at discomfort. JJ observes as Kiara turns to Brownie and hugs him tightly. Her eyes eventually glance to the porch door, to where JJ is stood. He looks away awkwardly, trying to pretend like he wasn't watching her. "Nightmare?" JJ coolly asks.
"No. Just couldn't sleep." Kiara sits up, wordlessly letting JJ know that he can sit. JJ hesitates for a moment before moving to sit next to Kiara. "Did you have a nightmare?"
"No. I couldn't sleep either." What JJ says technically isn't a lie. It was a memory, not a nightmare- a memory that he keeps reliving through sleep. He can sense that she doesn't believe him. But Kiara doesn't say anything.
"When do you reckon we'll be able to sleep through the whole night?" Kiara breathes out.
"Never." JJ half-jokes. She half-laughs back.
"It's getting better, right?" No.
"Yeah."
"So, maybe the nightmares will finally go away." No.
"Sure." JJ clears his throat to ease away the tension that is building. "Only the best people get nightmares anyways, Kie. It just means we're the best."
"Whatever, JJ." JJ can hear her smile forming.
"It can't be that hard to understand." JJ smirks as he looks up at Kiara. Her eyes are still soft as she smiles back at him. "I am the best Pogue." It makes her laugh as she rolls her eyes, jolting the pup sat on her. Brownie stands up on the couch as he watches JJ and Kiara laughing.
"Best Pogue?"
"Don't sound so surprised."
"Maybe in your dreams, JJ."
"Oh, you're always saying that I'm the best Pogue when I am dreaming Kie."
"You think you're better than me?" No. Of course, Kiara is better than JJ.
"Just admit that you know it's me."
"Not a chance." Kiara laughs. "Maybe we should ask Pope in the morning, see what he's got to say."
"Not fair, Kiara." JJ fakes an accent. "We all know that he was in love with you."
"Exactly." Kiara motions to herself. "Best Pogue."
Oh, Kiara wants to play.
"Well, if we're asking Pope, we should probably ask Tourons as well." JJ can't control the smirk on his face.
"Sure. Let's ask them." He looks up at her, confused. "They will probably still say I'm the best." Yeah, they would. Over the years that Kiara and JJ have been friends, JJ has been with a few Tourons. But, in the morning, the Tourons would wake up and Kiara would help get the away. JJ would come off as the dick that he is and Kiara would be the girl that let them see the light at the end of the tunnel.
"Whatever." Kiara smiles at him, victoriously.
"Is that you admitting that I'm the best Pogue." JJ just shrugs.
"It's whatever like, it doesn't matter." JJ takes a deep breath. "Because I definitely know that I'm your favourite Pogue." Her smile drops as she looks away from him with an unreadable face.
Fuck. Shouldn't have said that JJ!
Change the subject. JJ feels a need to talk about anything else, keep it as far away from talking about the Pogues and John B as possible. But he can't find the words. JJ can't even look away from the girl sat beside himself. Her eyes are jolting back and forth with obvious confusion as her cheeks are turning red, probably trying to find a way to change the conversation as well. "So, Pope's back in town." JJ finally finds something to say, even if it is stupid. Of course, Kiara already knows Pope is back.
"Yeah." Kiara uncomfortably replies. "We should go surfing with him tomorrow or something."
"No, we can't. A storm's coming." Kiara looks at him again her eyes burning into him almost as a way to try and force him to keep saying stupid shit. It forces. JJ to abruptly stand up. "A storm is coming so we can't surf."
"How did you know…" Kiara begins to stand up but JJ interrupts her.
"We should probably just go to sleep and think about what we can do." JJ rushes out his words before turning and heading back into the chateau.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 'I'm your favourite Pogue' Why the fuck did JJ say that? JJ cringes about the memory of Kiara looking away from him awkwardly. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. He should have just kept his mouth shut instead of going along with their game. Their games often lead to stupid decisions. Sleeping together- that was from a stupid game that Kiara definitely regrets. And then what does JJ do? Jokes that he is Kiara's favourite Pogue even though he knows her favourite is John B. The Pogue she probably pines after as she is stuck in her favourite Pogue's house with JJ. Just plain JJ.
…
JJ is right about the storm. When he wakes again in a panic that his dad is coming for him, he looks outside to see a whirlwind of rain falling onto the ground around the chateau. JJ can see out to the marsh where the waves are climbing. Unlike all the other nights where his nightmares wake him up, JJ doesn't go onto the porch. He already knows Kiara slept out there He internally cringes at the memory of making awkwardness between himself and Kiara all over again. Fuck. He should have never said it, even though he knows he only said it because she is his favourite. JJ likes to pretend that maybe… maybe Kiara likes JJ the most. It's doubtful.
Water will start leaking through the old roof of the chateau, there is no doubt. The previous storm made the whole roof shake. JJ was worried it was going to fall in on itself. But it didn't. The chateau still stands strong. The chateau is an honorary Pogue. It holds the group together, almost like a clubhouse.
JJ used to like hiding in the chateau after his dad and mom argued the night away. Younger JJ always knew that their arguments would end with Luke hunting JJ down and leave his mother crying. That is, until JJ hid at the chateau for the whole week and Luke kept looking for him but he couldn't find JJ. Luke found JJ's mom instead. Apparently, Luke had almost killed her but she ran away. And then she never came back. If JJ had only been in the house, his mom may have never left. She may have never taken herself out of the world. After JJ's mom left, the chateau was used less as a place to hide and more of a place to survive.
Brownie breaks JJ's train of thoughts as he runs into the chateau, wet from his obvious walk in the rain. Brownie jumps around the room, letting the water from his fur fall onto the floor. JJ happily watches as the wet dog jumps onto the pull-out. This dog could do anything and JJ could never be mad at him, even as Brownie reaches the middle of the pull-out and shakes. Water splashes everywhere. JJ cannot help but laugh. "Kie's going to kill you." The pup head dives into the mattress and rubs himself against the covers. JJ can feel the water through the covers.
"You were right about the storm." JJ finally looks up to see Kiara stood by the door.
Her crop top is drenched, tightly clinging to her figure. Her hair is all over the place looking like storm happened in her hair. But JJ can't look away from Kiara. He watches as she moves into the room, not caring about the uncomfortable wetness she must be feeling, as she ties her wet hair into a bun. The water clings onto the side of her neck but it doesn't seem to bother Kiara. God. It bothers JJ.
The fucking rules, JJ.
No. JJ can't risk anything. JJ shakes the thoughts out of his head as he fixates on Brownie who is still trying to get comfortable on the pull-out, laying next to JJ. "Well what can I say, Kie? I guess I should become a weather reporter or something."
"Maybe." There is no humour in her tone.
"Listening to me would have helped you." JJ lays his head back against the pull-out pillow and starts to close his eyes. The sky is dark outside, showing it can't be early in the morning yet. He thinks she must have left as the room falls quiet with just the sound of JJ and Brownie's breathing being heard.
He doesn't open his eyes until he feels the mattress below him move slightly. One eye opens to see Kiara perching on the end of the pull-out. "How did you know about the storm?"
"I'm just that smart, Kie." JJ tries to joke. "I guess I have a sixth sense about shit like that."
"I'm serious, JJ."
"And maybe I'm being serious?" JJ watches her eyes in which are filled with no humour. Shit she really is being serious. Kiara subtly shakes her head, obviously getting annoyed. "Fine." JJ sits up, pulling Brownie to his lap. "Maybe John B taught me how to tell."
"JJ…"
"it's something to do with the sky or some shit like that. You know John B- he was obsessed with the sky."
"So was Sarah."
"Makes sense saying they were perfect for each other." It makes Kiara look down. Shit. She still likes him. "I'm sorry Kie, but they perfect for each other before they even got together."
"Why are you apologising?" She almost snaps at JJ. "Of course, they were perfect for each other. They were perfect."
"Perfection is boring anyways." JJ tries to make nice; it seems to work as Kiara smiles at him.
"Sure." Kiara stretches as JJ tries not to watch her. "Speaking of boring, maybe we should do something saying Pope won't come over in the storm."
"Pope will never come out in a storm."
"Exactly."
"Such a wimp." JJ jokes as he watches Kiara laugh back, even though he knows that he shouldn't.
…
"Boy!" His father's voice thunders through the house. JJ quickly stuffs the gun into his backpack and finds himself pinned up against the wall.
"Dad I…" It's all that JJ can whimper out before he is thrown to the other side of the room by the stronger man stood in front of him.
"Where did you put it?" Luke slurs his words. "My pills. Where the fuck are they?" It's only then that JJ remembers the pills. The pills that his dad had been taking from the pharmacy without them knowing. When Luke runs out, he often blames JJ for taking them. "Are you selling them?" JJ tries to shake his head, but it's too late. His dad takes a swing at him, hitting his rib cage. JJ is sure he hears a break. But he can't cry in front of him. Not again.
JJ takes every swing as his dad keeps coming back for more, every time asking JJ where the pills are. JJ is on the ground when he can't take any more hits. "I'll get them!" JJ silently shouts out, struggling to really make any sound. He feels his stomach twirl, feeling the sick build in him telling JJ one thing.
He needs to get out of here.
"I'll go and get them and then I'll come back." JJ is not sure where to get the pills, he just knows that he needs to get away before Luke finds the gun in his backpack and turns to the gun to keep the fun going.
"You better get them quickly."
The words from Luke make JJ run faster, even though his body is weak with the pain from the never-ending beatings. The faster JJ runs, the closer he is to being free.
"1, 2, 3…" The numbers have always soothed JJ as he keeps running down the cut.
"4, 5, 6…" He chants the numbers louder when he can no longer feel the legs beneath him, running him to his destination.
"7, 8, 9…" It shouldn't come to a surprise that JJ finds himself outside the chateau. But it does. It has been almost four months since…
The Chateau remains strong even if the Pogues that used to be there every waking hour are falling apart. A tree has fallen into the hot tub in which is still in front of the house. The hot tub that looks just like JJ feels- worthless. He makes his way up the porch before spotting a girl lying on the couch.
"10". Kiara.
Frozen. JJ looks at the sleeping position of Kiara. Her head is leaning against the side of the couch. It's obvious to JJ that she hasn't been asleep for long. Her face is tattooed with littering tears. It has been almost four months since he last saw her- last saw anyone that wasn't trying to hurt him. JJ thinks about making himself known but as he looks down at Kiara, he knows she won't want to see him. She ran away the last time they were together. And then... he left. Just like everyone else did.
JJ slumps into the Chateau, putting his backpack behind the pull-out before finding a ratty blanket, in which smells of weed, tossed on the pull-out. It will have to do. No. Kiara can't know he's here. He can't make a new nightmare appear in her dreams. He has to sort it out by himself. So, JJ walks back onto the porch and places the blanket on the sleeping Kiara.
God, he misses her.
But it's for the best if she never sees him again. If only he could swap places with John B and Sarah. The best he can do is go back to his house and never be seen again.
…
Every night, JJ's nightmares are becoming more like memories. This specific one was a full memory. A tear forms in his eyes as he remembers it as if it was only yesterday.
A rumble of thunder brings JJ back to reality. He is lying on the pull-out that he doesn't remember falling asleep on. The last thing he remembers is playing 'go fish' with Kiara after boredom strikes them. JJ reckons that was a few hours ago. JJ goes to move, but he can't. Hugged up tight to JJ's side is Kiara, fast asleep. The pelican sweatshirt that got Kiara into so much trouble with her parents, is slung across her body. Her head is resting on his chest as his arm is slung around her shoulder. JJ knows it's not right, but he smiles at the sleepy Kiara whilst brushing a stray hair off of her face. Brownie is messing around by the side of the pull-out.
JJ is sure his heart skips a beat when he realises what Brownie is pulling at. The backpack. Fuck. JJ thought his dad had found the backpack and stolen it. But here it is, the backpack with the gun.
Luckily, Kiara is a heavy sleeper. It doesn't take much for JJ to softly lift her arms away from him, setting him free. He watches as she turns more into the pull-out. The backpack is half-stuck underneath the pull-out, looking like it must have buried itself deep under the bed over the years. It's the same backpack that JJ used every day during the hunt for the gold. This backpack has been home to their only gold, the stolen money from the motel, all sorts of weed, and the gun. The gun that he had spent the last few years trying to forget.
Brownie is still trying to attack the backpack by the time that JJ stealthily tiptoes to him. JJ shakes his head in confusion. It can't be the same bag. He would have noticed it. But on the base of the bag is a name tag with 'JJ Maybank- Aged 10' sewn into it. Shit. This is the bag. His heart is thudding against his chest as he keeps observing the bag. It is heavy in his hands as he lifts the bag to the sky, trying to use the outside light to get a better view. He shakes as he sticks his hand into the bag to pull the gun out.
The gun is heavy in his hands.
Rain is falling hard. The wind is howling up against the side of the chateau, forcing the water droplets to slam against the roof of the porch. But JJ ignores the obvious change in weather, looking only at the gun in his hand. This can't be real. Oh, but the gun feels very real. A strike of lightning lights up the small chateau, with the thunder strike happening almost immediately after. Brownie runs to hide under the pull-out, howling the storm away. Brownie has always been bad in storms. But JJ still can't ignore the gun in his hands.
Frozen to the spot, JJ ignores as Brownie cries louder as thunder and lightning surround the chateau. The entire room rumbles as Brownie's cries echo down the corridor. But JJ is paralyzed by voices.
'Your momma left because of you.'
'JJ Maybank- just like his father.'
'Boy!'
'Fucking Pogue!'
'You're beginning to look like your dad.'
'Worthless piece of shit.'
"Why do you have a gun?" The last voice comes from the room itself. JJ turns frantically to see Kiara staring at him. Her eyes are glassed over as she glances down to the gun. "Oh my god JJ. Why the fuck do you still have that gun?" Her voice ricochets through the room. Brownie begins to howl louder as the storm keeps getting heavier.
"Kie…"
"JJ! Why is the gun here?" Her words screech as the anger comes out. JJ doesn't know how to answer, his eyes fixate on the weapon that is still in his hands. "How long has it been here?" Kiara keeps asking questions.
"The whole time." Her eyes are flooding but JJ is still motionless.
"The whole time?"
"Yeah."
"Oh my god JJ! You've kept the fucking gun here the whole time and didn't tell me? Were you ever going to tell me?" Honestly, no. JJ wouldn't have told Kiara.
"I don't know Kie." He can't help but force out a laugh, to try and change the tension. "You knew I had a gun."
"A stolen gun." Kiara spits.
"Still a gun. You can't throw these types of things in the ocean." He laughs again. "I thought you were all for the environment and shit, Kiara." JJ cringes at his choice of words. He only ever uses her real name when they're joking around or fighting. This is definitely not a joke.
"You need to get rid of it." Kiara demands.
"No." Definitely the wrong thing to say. Kiara storms to where JJ is stood and tries to fight the gun out of his grip. JJ doesn't let go, not giving in this time.
"Just give me the gun!"
"No!" Brownie is still howling in the corner of the room, adding volume to the already loud situation.
"Why do you even want to keep it?" Kiara gives up on the fight, taking a step back. The anger in her voice makes her pitch go up and a scratching noise take over. "JJ." It almost sounds like a plead.
"So that when I get too much, I go."
The world would be free of JJ Maybank.
Kiara looks to the ground as her breaths become more like sobs. JJ can feel the tension in the air as Kiara finally looks up at him with questioning eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?" The conversation is not over.
"Nothing Kie. It's just…"
"Just what JJ?" JJ thinks about just giving in and telling her but he knows she shouldn't have to hear it.
"You don't want me to talk about those four months." JJ hiccups out.
"Talk about those four months, JJ." JJ doesn't know if anger is laced in the words, or fear.
"They break our rules." JJ tries to find an out.
"I don't care." Kiara will not give in. "Just tell me, JJ!"
"Those fucking four months I lost myself okay?" JJ doesn't mean to yell but his sudden change in volume even makes Brownie glance at him. "Every day, my dad pushed me and then one day he pushed me so far that I nearly did it. I nearly pulled the fucking trigger just like my mom did."
"JJ." Kiara can't stop the tears now. But JJ feels naked all of a sudden, with all his secrets hanging free. He hates the feeling.
"This gun is the only thing keeping me from ever turning into my dad. I'll get rid of myself before that ever happens." She just stares at him in complete shock. "Happy now, Kiara?" JJ snaps one more time before storming passed her and into the spare bedroom, leaving the stunned Kiara alone.
He needs to get out of here.
…
Kiara can't move. She can't even think straight. Kiara knew that JJ was broken, but not this much. When Kiara had asked why the gun was here, she was expecting JJ to reply 'because it's my gun' or 'I like the way it feels in my hand.'
Kiara can't help but think that it's her fault. She knew it was bad for JJ ever since the day in the hot tub where he shouted about his family, and how he could have killed him, and that he can't take it anymore. Kiara should have forced her parents to move him in. Or found a way to force him to stay with John B or Pope. Kiara should have spent those fucking four months trying to find JJ before it was too late.
But she didn't.
And now she's worried it's too late.
The storm is loud, but Kiara's thoughts are louder. She can't lose him. She really did almost lose him before. She knows she needs to fight for him; fight against the shadows in his nightmares. God! Why didn't Kiara ever ask him? She could have tried to help. She could have made him feel better. Kiara lov… no, likes JJ. She won't lose him again. Brownie goes back to howling when lighting strikes the sky. "Brownie! It's just a storm." Kiara doesn't mean to yell at the pup but her emotions are all over the place.
The door to the spare bedroom is shut but it doesn't stop Kiara's train of thoughts. "JJ!' Kiara bangs on the door, hoping that he hasn't jumped out of the window and ran away. "Please." Kiara goes to hit the door again, but is stopped by the door swinging open to show JJ stood in front of him with his backpack slung over his shoulder. "No. You're not leaving, JJ."
"It's just better if I go, Kie."
"No, it's not!" Kiara wants to hit him. He can't leave. Not now. "You… you can't just run away again."
"I'll hurt you. I can't let that happen."
"You could never hurt me JJ. You're not your dad and you never will be!" It's what it all comes down to. Kiara knows JJ's fears. Kiara knows he thinks he'll be his dad.
"You don't know that."
"I do." She takes a deep breath, to try and get her emotions in line. But the volume coming from the howling Brownie stops her from thinking straight. "Your dad hurts everyone, even the people that he should love. You have no bone in your body that could actually, purposefully hurt anyone. You will never be him because you would never hurt the people that you love. So, you need to stop running from the people that love you!"
Love. What a word. A word that Kiara knows JJ has never heard in his life. Not even from his mother who was too afraid of what Luke may do. Love. The word that Pope seems so confident to use when he describes Kiara and JJ's relationship. Love. The word that Kiara just blurted out to him, when she doesn't know if she should be angry or upset.
Brownie jumps around again as the storm rages on. His howls are almost as loud as the rumbles of thunder. "Brownie! Please." Brownie doesn't listen to Kiara as he runs back to the window to bark again. "JJ."
"I can't keep doing this Kie." His voice sounds dark, almost like he is trying to make Kiara scared. She's not scared.
"What?"
"Pretending like everything is fucking normal! Pretending like the nightmares will ever go away." JJ reaches into his backpack, pulling that stupid gun out of his bag. "This is my fucking nightmares, Kie. And no one understands them."
"I want to." Kiara instinctively steps forward. "I get nightmares too."
"I know."
"Then let me into yours."
"No." JJ stutters out before trying to get away from Kiara. But Kiara will not let him. Not again.
The broken boy has a fight or flight response to everything. He wants to run away again, as he is used to it. It frustrates Kiara to another level. "Oh my god JJ!" Her voice is loud, but is still overshadowed by Brownie's cries. "For once in your life just fight it! Fight your fucking demons or at least try!" She doesn't think her words are getting through as Brownie gets louder. JJ watches her as Kiara finds herself feeling flustered as the pup keeps barking into the window. She could never get her point across if Brownie keeps going at it. "Brownie! Just sit!" Kiara screams out. And he does.
He sits. His howling stopping completely.
Silence fills the chateau as JJ and Kiara stare at Brownie in shock. Kiara thinks she must be seeing things. But no. Brownie just sat on command. "Did I just…"
"You got him to sit."
"He's fucking sitting."
"You got him to sit." They are both stunned but smiles can't help but form on their faces.
"I got him to sit!" Kiara celebrates as JJ turns back the girl. Almost as if the fight never happened, Kiara can't help but jump into JJ's waiting arms as they celebrate their dog. "I actually did it." Kiara exclaims into his shoulder as his arms tighten around her waist, lifting her from the ground.
"Okay let me try." JJ keeps holding Kiara as he slightly steps to look at Brownie. "Brownie, come." The pup trots to JJ. "Brownie, sit." And brownie does.
JJ looks like a little boy excited for Christmas as he jumps up and down at the sight of Brownie sitting. Kiara laughs on with him. JJ pulls her in again for another hug, this time turning them as Kiara is in the sky. They are laughing and for the first time that day, laughter fills the chateau instead of shouting.
When JJ finally puts Kiara down, Kiara can't help but keep leaning into him. She leans her forehead up to rest against his as their smiles are replaced with long stares into each other's eyes. Kiara could stay like this forever. In his arms. Safe. She tries to push away Pope's words from the other days as she stays in the moment with JJ. "You can't leave us." Kiara speaks softly, keeping her forehead pressed against his. "You can't leave me." He responds immediately but not with his words. JJ leans forward and catches Kiara's lips with his own. He moves his hands to her cheeks and Kiara feels free as she kisses him back with just as much urgency.
Okay.
This kiss feels different to the one that Kiara remembers from that night. To begin with, neither of them are drunk. But the emotions are so high. The intensity behind the kiss shows how they have waited for so long just for this moment. As everything feels right in this single moment.
The moment takes away every thought that revolves around Kiara's head for every hour or every day. The moment makes her forget about the worry about what happens next. Especially after the day they have had. This kiss promises that everything is going to be alright.
Kiara can feel a smile forming on her lips as she feels tempted to deepen the kiss and see if the moment can continue but it isn't long until JJ is pulling away. "We shouldn't…" JJ's voice is strangled but the words create a sinking feeling in Kiara. He doesn't want this. "It's against our rules."
Those stupid rules. As soon as Kiara made them, she knew they would bite her in the ass. She won't admit it out loud, but she thinks she only made the rules to avoid feelings and avoid the sinking feeling in herself that he may turn her away. But the sinking feeling isn't there now. "I don't care about the rules." He looks at her confused but Kiara doesn't give JJ time to speak as she grabs JJ's neck and pulls his lips to hers.
They move together with such urgency that anyone could probably hear the movements screaming 'Finally!'. They grip at each other as if they had been thinking about doing so all day. And maybe they had. For once, they blend together and find sense in each other as if they are the only two people in the world. Kiara can't hold back the moan as JJ deepens the kiss. His move up and down her body as Kiara strengthens her grip on his hair. She needs more. She needs him.
It doesn't take long for their hands to start drifting under the little clothes that they are wearing. JJ loses his t-shirt as Kiara tries to ignore the smirk that screams typical JJ by kissing it away. The intensity doesn't go away as JJ silently questions if he is okay to continue. God yes, JJ is okay to continue. He asks her if it okay every step of the way. Kiara didn't expect him to ask and she can't help but melt every time he asks.
When they finally look at each other with such intensity, they silently agree to move to the bedroom. The groping continues as JJ looks at the pup that is watching them, confused. "Brownie, sit." JJ jokes before pulling Kiara with him into the bedroom.
And Brownie does. Brownie sits down.