Love is a strange concept.
Pope always thought he knew what love was. He watched his parents interact with such love that Pope thought that that was love- the only type of love. A love of similarity. It's why he thought his love for Kiara made sense. They were so similar to one another. Both optimistic in every situation. Both cared about the world and wanted to help everyone in every way possible. He thought their love was inevitable. That everyone would end up coming to the wedding of Pope and Kiara and then a year later, to the christening of their baby. Pope never thought he could be so wrong.
But he was.
Love comes in all shapes and forms. Love doesn't have to be obvious from the start and sometimes the two in love don't find out until it could be too late. Love is not one colour. Especially when he looks at JJ and Kiara.
Perfecting imperfections. That is the love between Kiara and JJ. The broken JJ meets a beautiful, strong-willed, seemingly put together Kiara. They as so different. JJ gets angry and uses his fist to show it. Kiara lets the anger disappear through tears. Whilst Kiara is the optimist, JJ is the pessimist. JJ is the cut-out stereotype of a boy on the cut whereas Kiara is full of adventure, as if she cannot stay in one place for too long. But Pope sees their magnetism whenever they are together. They learn from mistakes, build on their imperfections and become something that is bigger than them all. Because, even if they are so different, Kiara and JJ find sense in their dissimilarities.
It hurt Pope at first, seeing how hopelessly involved the two of them are. But through every denial from Kiara, Pope's certainty of Kiara hopelessly loving JJ and vice versa gets stronger. When JJ sees the bruises on Kiara's wrists, Pope thinks of intervening. But he knows there is no point. JJ's dad hurt the one he loves. Nothing can stop JJ, not even the pleading from Kiara.
When Kiara yells out 'I can't lose the person I'm in love with!' Pope's hunch of romance between Kiara and JJ becomes concrete. Her eyes are pleading, with such need for JJ just to stay safe. Their connection is real. Kiara had just been hurt but she can't afford to let JJ go. She is willing to forget about what happened just to protect the one she loves.
They hardly speak when JJ is gone. The only words that Pope can say are just to try and calm the shaking Kiara sat beside him. She doesn't sit still. Not for the four hours that JJ is gone. Her legs are jumping up and down whilst her hands are chaotically fiddling with her hair.
It's then that Pope looks back at what love really is. He thinks back to when they were just kids, messing around on surf boards on a good wave day. Kiara had only been in the group for a couple of weeks. The waves make the four Pogues watch with such awe as Kiara jumps in to take the wave. When she comes out of the water, Pope was sure he saw JJ staring at her with such joy. Pope was sure that he saw JJ look Kiara up and down before growled saying 'Wow Kie, when are you going to learn to surf?' Pope told him off, thinking JJ was about to scare Kiara away. But Kiara just smirked and replied 'Like you can do any better, Maybank.' Back then, Pope just thought they were just trying to make everyone laugh. Now, Pope is sure that they were flirting in their own unique way- through games where there could only be one victor. It's the same game they have been playing for years.
By the time that JJ comes back to the chateau, Pope has made himself sure that Kiara and JJ have been obliviously in love with each other for a lot longer than initially thought. Pope just watches as JJ storms into the chateau. He thinks about going in after him- try to calm his best friend (brother) down. Even Brownie can sense the tension as he tries to run after JJ. But no. It has to be Kiara. Pope makes sure to hold the pup back before saying "You go in, Kie."
It has to be Kie.
It's hard to not watch in. Pope tries to stay on the porch, focusing on Brownie. But he can't. He needs to know that JJ and Kiara aren't so oblivious that they have just gone back to arguing. When Pope looks through the window, he sees Kiara and JJ stood so close with his hand resting on her bruised wrist. Their movements are so delicate as if a slight wrong touch, would break them completely. With all of Kiara and JJ's differences, Pope can't ignore how similar they look whilst they calm each other and keep each other from breaking.
Love means finding similarities in a haystack of dissimilarities. Love is about making up and being there for when differences become too much.
…
A month goes by. Kiara and JJ have a new normal. They now wake up in the same bed with Brownie trying to jump onto the bed with them. Kiara has completely stolen the pelican sweatshirt in which used to be JJ's favourite. When light shines through the window, Kiara finds herself actually waking up in his arms. He hasn't left. He may have even slept through the whole night.
Nights are easier. Sure, there are still nightmares that flow into their sweet dreams from time to time. But mostly, they don't wake up until the sun wakes up.
For someone who hates clichés, Kiara can't help but love mornings now. She can't help but love waking up wrapped completely in the warm body that is JJ. It's so fucking cliché, but she can't help it especially when the light shines to show his sleeping face that is breathing soft snores into the pillow beneath him.
A complete fucking cliché.
But she can't help it. Kiara can't deny that she loves JJ anymore. It has now become so obvious and is becoming stronger every time they wake up together. It's not to say that their bickering doesn't happen. But they always find each other after the fight. They always make amends before finding a chance to run away.
He won't tell Kiara what happened with his dad. He just keeps repeating over and over again 'It's over now.' Kiara can't help but be scared of what he means and she can't help but worry that JJ is wrong- that Luke Maybank will return. But she tries to ignore the doubt. She tries to ignore anything that will bring back his demons.
For this specific morning, Kiara finds herself shocked to wake up before JJ. His chest is rising and falling along with the sound of quiet snores. JJ's smirk is still plastered on his face but his eyes remain closed. On his forehead, there is still a slight scar of where JJ was cut up by his dad before JJ moved to the chateau. Scars still scatter his body but Kiara remains relieved that none of them are new. They're his battle scars from the eighteen-year war with his father. A war that Kiara likes to think that JJ won. Her hands uncontrollably move to the scar on his forehead and runs along the rough line. JJ doesn't react so Kiara moves up to lay a light kiss on the line. She won't let him deal with the scars alone.
With his eyes still closed, JJ grumbles. "I think I have more scars." Kiara watches as the smirk gets better which makes her roll hey eyes playfully.
"More scars? Where?" Kiara plays along.
"Here's one." JJ opens his eyes before pointing to a line by his ear. With a quick roll of her eyes, Kiara leans to his ear to kiss the scar away. "You call that a kiss, Carrera?"
"Yeah. I do."
"Then I have one here as well." This time, JJ points to the corner of his mouth. "If you want to continue." Kiara won't let him win. She pushes JJ to lay on the bed before leaning over him and kissing the corner of his mouth making sure to not get caught in him.
"Your move, Maybank." Kiara smirks as she watches JJ go tense, his eyes darkening and his smirk disappearing. This is only going to end one way. But Kiara won't be the first to move.
"Fuck, Kie." He sounds pained, not giving up either. Kiara finds a boost of confidence before leaning more into JJ. She doesn't even know how long she'll be able to keep it up.
Neither look away from the other's dark, lustful eyes. JJ's hands are playfully stroking through her hair. Kiara runs her hand up and down his arm in the way that she knows JJ won't be able to ignore. They press into each other, trying to get the other to crack. But both put up a strong fight. Kiara leans forward until their foreheads are almost touching. JJ moves his hand to Kiara's neck where he knows a love bite is still shining from the last time they played their game. They are so close that Kiara can feel both of their heart beats thumping through the silence.
"You know what" JJ doesn't even finish his sentence before pulling Kiara closer claiming her lips with his. It's rushed and hard, just like how most of their games end. She goes willingly when JJ pulls Kiara so close that she has to straddle him. It's times like these that Kiara really feels like an idiot. If only she wasn't so stupid for years, she would have him and nothing more would be needed. They would have each other. Kiara moves to JJ's neck, flicking her hair to a side to make sure that JJ's view isn't blocked. It's her turn to make a mark to show that she won. "You know…" JJ strangles out. "There are more scars you can take care of further down."
"Just shut up JJ."
"Okay." JJ laughs. "But I'm just saying, you did start this." Kiara doesn't respond, instead she just leans into kiss JJ once more. Kiara feels JJ's hands begin to tease the base of her t-shirt. It's like a dance between JJ and Kiara, something that they have practised and learned to perfection. Kiara knows every move that JJ takes and is invested in the steps every time.
Like most times that JJ and Kiara play their game, Brownie runs into the room jumping onto the two of them. Brownie snuggles up between Kiara and JJ, breaking them up from their own trance that they have entered. "Brownie." JJ shouts in pain when reacting to the obvious misplacing of Brownie's steps.
"He's the alarm clock." Kiara is tempted to just push Brownie away and continue with JJ. But she can't. Even though Brownie is no longer a puppy, he still acts it in every way- especially through his jealousy when he is being ignored.
…
Their pull to one another goes on for months. It's as if a spell has finally been lifted and Kiara and JJ can finally see each other in a new light. Everything that the other does causes a reaction where they end up undressing each other quickly before falling deeper into their own world.
Against the counter after JJ makes pancakes.
In the car when Kiara puts her hair up into a bun.
Against a wall after JJ comes back from Brownie's walk, wet from the rain.
And then on the pull-out when either is just in a mood.
The only issue is that as Kiara and JJ's nights get easier, Brownie can no longer sleep through an entire night. He howls the night away or at least until one of them wakes up to be with him. Kiara keeps worrying that someone will complain about the noise, so she often wakes up and takes Brownie on a walk in the middle of the night. On this night, Brownie howls until Kiara walks him around the cut. But something's not right.
Brownie walks slower with a limp that makes him fall.
Brownie is laying on the ground whimpering when Kiara feels the fear of losing Brownie. She finds herself rushing back to the chateau where she wakes JJ before they hurry to the vets. Kiara drives as JJ holds the crying Brownie. Worry is evident in both of their eyes. The vets look just as busy as any hospital. They are told to wait.
The whole time Brownie is being assessed, Kiara cries into JJ's shoulder whilst he holds her. "He'll be okay." JJ tries to be the optimist for once- tries to be strong for Kiara. They prod and poke Brownie over and over again and every time, Brownie yelps out in pain.
The vet ends up telling JJ and Kiara that Brownie was bit by something. But it's treatable. Kiara hugs Brownie, crying with happy tears the whole time. Because he's apart of them now. They can't lose Brownie.
After the injury, Brownie spends most nights sleeping in the same room as Kiara and JJ. Kiara just can't come to terms with how a small thing can change their lives forever- that in a blink of an eye, she could lose everything.
…
It's Christmas by the time that Brownie is no longer walking with a limp. It's the first Christmas that Kiara is determined to show that she isn't just some dumb waitress from the Wreck- she can cook too. It's JJ that amazes Kiara though. He is jumping around the living area like he is a kid waking up with such energy that needs to be released. He almost is like a kid, waking up to find if Santa came. He keeps jumping on the bed. "Dude, what's going on?" Kiara ends up asking, sitting down.
"It's Christmas, Kie."
"No shit, Sherlock." JJ jumps before laying on the bed beside her. "What is it?"
"Christmas is the best." JJ huffs out, obviously out of breath.
"Do you want to see if Santa Claus came or something?"
"Oh, he definitely came Kie. I have been extremely good this year." Kiara watches as JJ licks his lips slightly. "You're the one that should be scared."
"Oh really?"
"I don't know if you've been good enough." JJ moves closer to her. "Maybe you should show how good you are." She thinks about leaning in and closing the gap. But Kiara doesn't.
"I've got festive food to cook." JJ lays back onto the bed, laughing. "I can cook." Kiara pushes at him before making her way out of the bedroom.
It's a day full of laughter and festivities. Pope comes to the chateau early to help with the meal, but he ends up being Uncle Pope to Brownie. Pope has bought toys and antlers for Brownie that he ends up playing with the for the rest of the day. Brownie's leg still trembles when he jumps on Pope. But he's getting better. And that is all that matters to Kiara.
Every ten minutes or so, JJ corners Kiara in any room she is in, quickly saying "Mistletoe, Kie." Of course, there is no mistletoe. "Got to kiss otherwise it's bad luck." She just rolls her eyes before giving him the peck that he wants.
Cliché, cliché, cliché.
The kisses keep getting more intense every time JJ corners her. Kiara pushes him back playfully each time. She won't tell him this, but every time he says 'mistletoe' Kiara just wants to push JJ into the bedroom. Kiara holds herself steady, knowing that Pope won't want to catch them… again. It keeps happening. On days where Pope is around, Kiara can't help but notice how he is the third wheel. Pope has caught them three times now, each time Kiara almost turns the colour of tomatoes. "Shit Carrera, you need to stop standing under mistletoe." JJ breaks her trail down memory lane.
"Mistletoe?" Kiara looks up playfully.
"Yeah." JJ moves closer, pushing Kiara against the counter.
"I don't see any."
"It's definitely there." Kiara smiles as she leans forward, already getting bored of the game. JJ pushes Kiara until she has to be lifted to sit on the kitchen counter, making her forget about the food that she is cooking. "Merry Christmas, Kie." JJ whispers against her lips before deepening the kiss further. His hands tease the skin under her loose top whilst Kiara loses her legs to pull JJ as close as humanly possible.
God, Kiara loves Christmas.
…
Pope gets used to being the third wheel pretty quickly. He has now caught them at it four times.
The first time, he walked into the chateau where Kiara and JJ were nowhere to be seen. Stupidly, Pope decided to venture into the bedroom just in time to see JJ moving down Kiara's half-naked torso. The second and third time were pretty much the same, just with him seeing too much of Kiara and definitely too much of JJ. They don't talk about it but Pope pretty much had to bleach his eyes from the memory of two people that he sees as family having sex, on the floor of the bedroom. The fourth time, it was completely their fault. Christmas. They knew that Pope was in the other room playing with their pup whilst they were going at it on the counter of the kitchen. Pope walked to see JJ's bare ass with Kiara clinging to him as if she couldn't afford to let go.
It's definitely their fault as karma comes to take revenge. Kiara spends the day watching the food as Pope stays with Brownie. But Brownie is still a dog. Brownie gets the smell of the food and will not leave her alone. Pope laughs when Brownie jumps up and finds a way to snatch the food out of her hands. The meat falls to the ground, Brownie gets the Christmas dinner. "Karma's a bitch, Kie." Pope shouts into the kitchen after watching Brownie run out of the kitchen with the turkey in his mouth, tail wagging.
It's New Year's Eve where Pope feels like it will never happen. They decide to go to the boneyard where they hear there is a small gathering around a bonfire before fireworks are to be released. Pope is sat, watching the fire as he ignores Kiara and JJ who are dancing along to the music. It's not that he's jealous of JJ. He's just jealous that they have found the meaning to love.
The boneyard is filled with people that are younger. Definitely not Pope's scene anymore.
At one point, Kiara and JJ stop making out for a moment to bring Pope up to another seating area where a kegger has been tapped. Pope just watches JJ and Kiara as they stare at each other with so much love. God, Pope wants that. It's the same thing that John B and Sarah had- just not as cheesy. A girl which long, brunette hair waits for the three Pogues to fill up her cup. Her freckles are spotted under her eyes. Her eyes are the colour of the sea. "Thanks." She has a southern accent, obviously a Touron. Pope stutters as a response.
"What he is trying to say is 'Hi, my name is Pope. What's your name?'" JJ jumps in.
"I'm Zoey." She smiles at Pope; Pope can't help but smile back.
"Where are you from?"
"I just moved here, actually." Shit. Pope probably doesn't stand a chance with a non-Touron. "I should probably get back to my friends." Pope just nods at Zoey and watches her walk away on the sand.
"Dude." Kiara leans her arm onto Pope.
"Go for it Popey." JJ leans on his other arm. No. Pope isn't the type of person that can just walk up to a stranger and ask them out. No. It's not Pope.
"She's into you." Kiara smiles.
"Definitely."
"I don't know how to talk to girls."
"Then take Brownie." JJ passes Brownie's lead to him.
"Guys."
"Just go for it, Pope."
With a small push from JJ and Kiara, Pope walks in the direction of Zoey. They talk for the rest of the night. Apparently, she's interning at the hospital and when Pope speaks of dead bodies, Zoey doesn't react with disgust. She seems intrigued to hear more. When midnight hits, Pope doesn't expect much. He looks back to see JJ and Kiara smiling and giving each other small, loving kisses. "Are you going to kiss me or what?" Zoey ends up asking Pope. So, he does.
Maybe this year will be better than the last.
When Pope awakes, he finds Zoey laying by his side on the pull-out with Brownie sat at the base of the bed. It makes Pope smile that is- until he looks up to see JJ and Kiara smirking down at him. Shit.
For the amount of times that Pope has caught JJ and Kiara, they look too smug as they stare down at a half-naked Pope next to a half-naked Zoey. Pope pushes his fellow Pogues onto the Porch where they burst into laughter. "What the fuck, guys?" Pope tries to keep his voice down.
"Dude, I am so proud of you." JJ pats him on the back. It just makes Pope roll his eyes.
"I'm hungover." Pope lies.
"Funny. Saying you didn't drink last night." JJ counteracts.
"Admit it Pope, you had fun." Kiara joins in. Boy. Pope had fun. Zoey is like a boy version of himself. It's something that Pope can't help but be attracted to.
"You guys need to leave"
"We live here." Kiara states.
"I don't care." Pope pushes Kiara and JJ until they fall off of the porch.
"Love you too, Popey!" JJ yells. Pope just rolls his eyes as a reaction. But truthfully?
Pope loves his Pogues.
…
JJ and Kiara have been together for a year. But the year hasn't been easy. They fight every other day. Always arguing over the same thing. JJ thinks he is not good enough for Kiara, Kiara arguing that no one could be any better than JJ. They're not perfect. But they never walk away from each other, instead they find each other and Kiara spends the night whispering 'I love you' into his ear.
It has been almost five years since John B and Sarah disappeared. And even when the nights get better, they still can't keep the nightmares away. JJ wakes up once a week. Kiara holds him until his breaths go back to normal. They then find themselves walking to the beach in silence.
Kiara holds his hand the whole way with JJ looking down to the floor. She says that she loves him almost every day. And Kiara isn't scared that JJ hasn't said it back. Him still being here is enough for JJ as JJ has never seen love before. She always thinks to ask JJ what the nightmares consist of, but she doesn't. She doesn't want to hear about how his dad destroyed his life and every night since.
When they sit on the sand, neither of them says anything. They listen to the calm waves crashing into the shore. The stormless sky creates a backdrop for the glistening waves. It brings back every memory of surfing when the sun is barely rising. How every surfing session lead to the Pogues watching the sun rise before making their way to the Wreck or to the docks where they would spend the rest of the day out on the Pogue. It's memories that Kiara never wants to forget.
"I told my dad that I wouldn't grow up to be him." JJ breaks their easy silence. "When I left, I told him I wouldn't be like him."
"You're nothing like him, JJ."
"I know. It's just. I can't stop thinking about how I could have tried to change him- save him from himself."
"He's a dick, JJ. You couldn't have changed him." Kiara takes a deep breath. "You're so much more than your dad." It becomes clear that the nightmare was about his dad. Again. "Just listen to your own stories, they'll tell you everything."
"My stories?"
"The Pogue stories." They're the stories that shine the light through some dark memories.
His stories always make them happy. They're the memories that they want to remember forever- even the story of the gold. "Once upon a time, a group of Pogues went out into the marsh to mess around and have a great time. It's the day after a storm where the boy tells his friends that they'll be a 'whole lot of fish tonight'…" Kiara looks at him confused. The boy. It's something that JJ says every time he tells a story.
"Why don't you just say your name?" Kiara cuts him off. "You're the boy."
"Yeah."
"Then, say 'JJ'."
"It's boy in my stories, Kie."
"But why?"
"Because the stories are better without the Maybank." He's broken, beyond repair. But Kiara will keep trying because JJ deserves it. JJ deserves to be in the stories.
"Oh my god, JJ." Kiara says, trying not to sound annoyed.
"It's just a story, Kie." JJ tries to laugh.
"No, it's not! It's our lives." Kiara tries to compose herself. "It's not stories about 'the three Pogues and a boy'. It's stories about the four Pogues: John B, Pope, Kiara and JJ."
"Kie…"
"No JJ. We're not the Pogues without you. You as JJ. You're not just a boy that is a filler for the rest of the group. We're the Pogues: John B, Pope, Kiara and JJ. Repeat that." JJ looks down. "Say it, JJ."
"We're the Pogues: John B, Pope, Kiara and JJ."
"And we're important."
"And we're important." JJ repeats.
"We're nothing without you, JJ. I'm nothing without you." Kiara grabs his face to make sure he is looking at Kiara. He slightly nods and Kiara hopes he has seen his meaning.
"We're five Pogues with Brownie, Kie." JJ smirks.
"Of course." Kiara playfully rolls her eyes, letting go of his face. "Six if you count Sarah."
"I count Sarah." It makes Kiara smile.
…
The next morning, Kiara and JJ decide to go out on the Pogue to get over their nightmares. They are waiting for Pope to show up with Brownie who he was looking after for the weekend. Kiara and JJ haven't seen Brownie all weekend. They stand on the dock and look out to the Pogue. "Thanks for last night, Kie." JJ breathes out.
"You needed to hear it, you idiot." Kiara smiles as he mirrors her emotion. "I just care about you. I guess you can say that I love you."
"I love you too, Kie." JJ replies instantly, almost shocking Kiara to fall over. "It's always been you, Kie."
"Good." Kiara steps closer to JJ. "Took us long enough to work it out." JJ replies with a peck to her lips.
Love is a strange concept.
It can take two people over five years to work out that it's them or nothing. Love takes them by surprise when neither of them have ever felt anything like it before. Love eventually makes people open their eyes and see that this little thing called love has been staring at them for years. It just takes one moment for everything to click.
Brownie and Pope are five minutes late, making JJ and Kiara joke at their tardiness. They hold onto Brownie as if they haven't seen him for months. It's only been two days. All four of them are hugging, smiling at the bright sky and the Pogue that is waiting for a new adventure. When they climb in, everything feels right with the world. Kiara decides to look back at the dock before walking into her new life.
Kiara looks around before fixating on two figures moving closer to the Pogue. A brunette boy and a blonde girl move closer and Kiara can feel her heart thudding. "Kie?" JJ obviously spots the unease on Kiara's face. She tries to say something but she can't. She can only watch as the two figures move closer. Because it's them. The star-crossed lovers. The Pogue and the Kook.
John B and Sarah.