Chronicles of an Elven Bed-warmer
Chapter the Fourteenth
Things before other Things
I do not own Dragon Age, and neither do you.
Anyone familiar with Queen Anora's public persona would have been quite surprised to see her slouching along the corridor leading to the royal chambers. She was returning from another all-nighter with the royal lawyers. Annexing the alienages was quite a bit more work than she had anticipated. She had supposed that the Arls would be glad to be rid of them, but in reality they would viciously attack anything that threatened to diminish their holdings. The order had to be phrased just so or the 'honorable' lords and ladies would rip it apart and feed it to her. Exhausted, she rubbed at her tired eyes and sighed. She knew that the Landsmeet existed for a reason, but at the moment she was finding it difficult to remember what that was. She was fairly certain that the Orleasian Empress didn't have to put up with this shit.
She paused at the entrance to the royal suites to attempt to make herself a tiny bit more presentable. At that point she noticed sounds coming from the other side of the door. It didn't sound like Calian's snoring. What was it? Before she could investigate Erlina appeared suddenly behind her.
"Gah!" The Queen startled. "Erlina? Shouldn't you be-"
"Mmm?" The maid grunted atypically. "Oh, 'ello, your majesty." She seemed a bit off.
"Are you all right?"
"M' fine," was the mumbled response.
"Are you sure?"
"Oui, your majesty, completely fine," she answered indignantly. "Why 'ould it bozair moi if 'ze stupid king 'ould razair 'ave ze 'rowdy boys night' zan make 'ze love to ze skilled and exotic courtesan?" She made a very elaborate, very Orleasian hand gesture that rather succinctly summed up her feelings on the wisdom of that particular decision. "Hmph! For 'zis I gives up 'ze spying!"
Anora held her tongue and listened to the maid rant for a few minutes in some of the most profane Orleasian she had ever heard, surprised that it didn't blister the paint off the walls. The fact of the matter was that although Erlina excelled at the more technical aspects of her chosen profession, she hadn't been a particularly successful bard. Mostly due to the fact that she had all the natural musical talent of a dead vole.
"Er..." The queen interrupted when the maid paused for breath, gesturing at the tray of snacks precariously held in the disgruntled maid's off hand. "Maybe I should carry that?"
Immediately the spy-turned-maid stopped her. "Non, non, non, your majesty!" She put a special emphasis on the title. "Ze Queen, she cannot be seen doing ze servant's work!" Erlina gave a little sniff of disdain. "We went over zis, no?"
Anora sighed. They had, at great length if she remembered correctly.
"It's just Calian," she protested.
"'Zat 'ould be quite ze sad game of cards."
"Well, whose he got in there then?"
"Bahn "The Bahnhammer" Teegan Therein."
"Bahnhammer?" interrupted the Queen. "You know they say the hammer is his-"
"Oui, your majesty, everyone knows. Alzo, Zer Mhiri and ze two elves."
"Which two elves?"
"You know, ze little pink one and her bodyguard, you know, zem," the maid replied in a dismissive way.
"Oh, those two. What are they doing there?" Before Erlina could reply the queen had already barged into the room, then stopped short once she saw what was going on. "Calian," she began in an eerily calm voice. "Where are your clothes?"
The king, at something of a loss for words, gestured towards the tall tan elf across from him. "She has them."
And indeed, before Tasha sat a rather large pile of gold, some very fine men's clothes and what looked to be a set of Palace armor.
Mhiri sat off to the side in her smallclothes, blushing an almost unhealthy red and failing to avoid the gaze of Bhan Teegan, who seemed to be having a wonderful time. Given the man's reputation, this was probably an everyday thing for him. Mel was oblivious to it all, passed out in an overstuffed lounge chair over in the corner.
Anora gave up. "You know what? I don't care. I'm going to bed."
And she did.
0-0
Elissa was waiting rather impatiently when Kallian arrived in the courtyard twenty minutes after her rude awakening. She was bundled up quite warmly against the chilly morning. The Lady smirked to herself. Beginner's mistake there. Once they got to sweating, the elf would become distinctly uncomfortable. Sure, she could just tell her unsuspecting pupil, but some lessons were better learned first-hand.
"Er...sorry for taking so long," Kallian apologized.
Without acknowledging her in the slightest, Elissa started, "I thought we'd warm up with a short run. Thirty laps of the market should do nicely." Then without further ado she jogged off, leaving Kallian gaping at her retreating back.
How can she do that in full armor? She wondered, before realizing that Elissa was leaving her behind.
"Hey, wait up!" she called before speeding after her erstwhile mentor.
"Are you certain you're feeling up to snuff this morning?" Elissa asked once Kallian caught up to her. The elf remained silent, even though she was feeling a bit sore. Aedan had really worked her over. She almost broke into a lecherous grin but managed to stop herself
Kallian ignored the...quite probable taunt and concentrated on keeping up with the much taller woman's longer stride.
"You've had a rather eventful night," Elissa pressed. "And you're quite a small thing, after all, while my brother… well, he isn't, is he?"
That was definitely a taunt.
"I'm fine," the elf finally responded.
"Ah, well, do try to keep up then," the lady replied before accelerating away.
"Bloody long legged..." Kallian mumbled under her breath.
After about thirty-five minutes the pair returned to the courtyard. Elissa had worked up a light sweat. Kallian had fared...less well. She bent over with her hands on her knees, gasping for breath, and was suddenly very grateful she hadn't had time for breakfast. Kallian had always considered herself quite fit but Elissa was on an entirely different level. After the elf had gotten her breath back, something that took entirely too long in Elissa's opinion, the training continued.
"Well, now that we're all warmed up," the elf gave a despairing groan, which was pointedly ignored, "this exercise is called 'don't die'." The blond elf's head snapped up in shock. "The rules are quite simple. I am going to try to 'kill' you. Your job is to stop this from happening."
Kallian quickly hid a panicked expression. Elissa unlimbered her shield and drew a practice sword.
"Begin," she called and instantly attacked."
0-0
Aedan was trying to work. Trying being the operative word, because he was failing miserably. Every time he managed to concentrate on something, he would remember the previous night. Flashes of breasts, thighs and buttocks, the feeling of Kallian writhing in pleasure beneath him, or on top of him, or a number of positions he couldn't quite categorize...
And now his pants were suddenly tighter. If his bloody cock-blocker of a sister hadn't spirited away him partner they would undoubtedly still be going at it, pausing only to replenish vital nutrients. He was rather pleased with his performance. Once Kallian had coaxed him out of a rather tentative start- by making some very encouraging noises, reassuring him that yes, that was how you did it - he had really lain into her.
That brought a rather stupid grin to his face.
Sex was nice. It should be, the way everyone went on about it. Aedan was looking forward to having quite a bit more of it in the immediate future. As it was he had been unconsciously appraising nearly every horizontal surface in the manor as places for potential liaisons. Currently he thought that his desk lacked a certain something. A naked elf draped across the top of it for starters. Or maybe underneath it, using her mouth to...
Aedan stared off into space for, oh let's say 'a while', only to be interrupted by a loud commotion from the courtyard.
0-0
"Why are you so upset?" Ser Mhiri asked a visibly disgruntled Shianni.
"I'm not upset," she lied.
The problem was thus: Shianni had finally managed to convince the Queen to let her visit her family, provided that Ser Mhiri escorted her. Expecting to find them huddled naked and unwashed around the burnt out ruins of their former home, she was rather surprised, and a bit put out, that they had failed to live down to her expectations. It seemed there was more to Valora than she had suspected. Soris's wife was, much to Shianni's utter shock and amazement, much better at Shianni's job than Shianni was. The house was neat and tidy, everyone was clean and well fed and the shop was busier than she had ever seen it. The mousy cow had even corrected a few accounting errors Shianni had made.
When she had confronted the upstart on how these amazing results had been achieved, said cow had responded with a mildly condescending 'There are better ways to get things done than just shouting at everything'.
Shianni had been so distraught that she was forced to retreat, storming away with as much tattered dignity as she could muster – which wasn't much – pausing only long enough to snatch up her old bow and some arrows. She needed to work off some stress. She wanted to see Kallian, too. Talking to her always helped her when she was upset.
"Er...Mhiri?"
"Yes?" the guard replied simply. She knew Shianni well enough to know not to try to comfort her when she didn't want to be comforted.
"Do you know where the Cousland estate is?"
0-0
Elissa was once again honestly impressed with her brother's elf. Most people couldn't stay with her this long. Not that Kallian was doing very well, her form had gotten increasingly sloppy as they went on and she still hadn't scored a solid hit on the noble. She hadn't even come close in, oh about the last thirty minutes or so. But they had been sparing for almost four solid hours; even Elissa was starting to get a little tired. She was frankly astonished that the little street urchin could even stand at this point, much less still be trying to attack her.
Elissa blocked Kallian's rather sloppily executed twin fang and kicked the elf in the stomach so hard that she flew a third of the way across the courtyard. Perhaps, she reflected, she had some slight resentment over the elf sleeping with her brother.
She paused for a moment to catch her breath and acknowledge that yes, that had probably been a bit excessive. She had just resolved to control herself better in the future when Kallian, struggling to stand up, folded over onto her hands and knees and started to dry heave.
Ah, that was it then.
The lady made to sheath her sword and help her student back into the estate for a nice lie down and a warm bath, when she heard a loud, "Hey, leave her alone!" before instinctively blocking an arrow with her shield. Understandably put off by this, she turned and charged her attackers, a rather shabby looking female elf and what looked to be a member of the royal guard.
0-0
Oh shit, thought Shianni as the angry-looking noble that had been beating on her cousin easily blocked her hastily fired arrow and started towards her at a speed that should have been impossible for someone in full armor.
Oh shit as Ser Mhiri tried to intercept the charging noblewoman, only to be swatted away with a loud crack by a shield to the face.
The woman was on her now, and Shianni was frozen in place as an armored fist hurtled towards her unprotected face.
Oh shi- Everything went black.
Can anyone remember Zevren's last name? He may or may not be making a cameo in the next chapter.
Oh and still looking for a beta if anyone's interested. Unless of course Born of Elven Blood agrees to take over the position as she has graciously agreed to do for this one. Also if any of you are interested she also did a lot of the second chapter of my mass effect lemon, If you haven't read it you really should, it's amazing, kind of makes the first chapter look bad, might have to rewrite that again...
Has everyone played the new Dragon Age: Scavenger Hunt? Now with 300 % more skyrim. Which basically means more wandering about compleatelly lost. Not that I'm not running 5 seprate campaigns it's just not as good, imho.