Kiara Carrera is a bitch.
That is the only justification Sarah can think of to why Kiara decided to throw a text out there to announce that Kiara and JJ are getting married today. Today. Not next week. Not next month. Today. So, the only explanation for Kiara to send that text to Sarah is because Kiara is a bitch. And Sarah can't help but love her anyways.
It's not Sarah's fault that she is a hopeless romantic. Before her mother got sick when she was thirteen years old, Sarah and her mother would watch romantic movies all whilst talking about the future and all the hopelessly romantic moments that may happen in that future. Romantic movies are far-fetched. But Sarah likes to believe that they plant ideas that could show up in reality. Being a hopeless romantic is nothing to be ashamed about. Especially after she met John B. It's not Sarah's fault for being a hopeless romantic when she is with the prince that Sarah and her mother used to dream in. John B is just as much of a hopeless romantic as Sarah is and that is what makes them perfect.
But John B's hopeless romantic prospects are what confuses Sarah. They have been dating for six years, living together for almost the same amount of time but JJ and Kiara are the first to get married? Their world is backwards. It's not like Sarah is even ready for a wedding but she would never have thought that JJ and Kiara would be ready before her. The idea that they are having a baby together all whilst Sarah and John B are still pulling those hopeless romantic clichés from the high school movies almost blows Sarah's mind. Because whilst Sarah and John B (a couple that seems to know that they will live happily ever after) are fine with playing their favourite moments from the movies, JJ and Kiara (a couple that have never planned anything out in their lives) are growing up. JJ Maybank and Kiara Carrera are more mature than Sarah and John B.
Fuck.
Sarah doesn't mean to compare her relationship with John B to JJ and Kiara's relationship but Sarah can't help herself. Because when the gold hunt was going on, Sarah was sure that the romantic movie was all about how the Kook girl fell in love with the Pogue boy. She was oblivious how her relationship was just the prelude to the main event. Now, Sarah and John B are the secondary romantic story to the most explosive, dramatic and emotional romantic story that Sarah has ever seen. Sarah can't help but see how her own relationship with John B represents two people that are perfect for one another in every possible way as they make their way through their lives to find utter perfection all whilst JJ and Kiara's relationship signifies how two seemingly different people have a lot more in common than first predicted.
JJ and Kiara are the romantic movie that Sarah would watch on repeat. And Sarah wonders if this wedding is the end of the movie, or just the end of part one. Maybe there would be a sequel. Because the relationship between Kiara and JJ is so complex that no one would be able to fit their love into a one and half hour film without missing all the small details that make them complete.
Kiara: Meet at the beach at 7. We're getting married today.
Sent at 9:25am.
Sarah: You bitch.
Sent at 9:27am.
Kiara: Today. Sarah. Today.
Sent at 9:42am
Sarah: I'll be at the Chateau in five minutes. Kick JJ out!
Sent at 9:44am.
Maybe it's JJ that's the idiot.
A wedding to be planned in only a few hours? It sounds like something JJ would think about. Or not think about in matter of fact. He doesn't see the bigger picture like Sarah does. How a wedding should represent everything about perfection. From the white dress signifying virtue to the vows that should be every way romantic as well as meaningful. Sarah has watched so many movies that end in the happily ever after wedding that Sarah knows every aspect to making the perfect wedding. And Sarah knows that the wedding is half about the planning that could take months or even years to get right.
Sarah is the pro at weddings. So as soon as she gets that text from Kiara that she is getting married today, Sarah storms to the chateau with the understanding that Sarah won't let her get away with no preparation whatsoever. For a ten-minute drive to the chateau, Sarah gets there in five minutes, storming through the door hoping that Kiara has actually listened to Sarah to kick JJ out. No way can Sarah let JJ see Kiara hours before getting married. There are certain things that Sarah will not allow.
"Sarah. I told you to meet at the beach this evening." Kiara snaps before Sarah can fully step into the living area. Sarah guesses it's just Kiara's stubbornness or maybe her pregnancy.
"There is no chance that you're just randomly getting married today."
"I am, Sarah." Sarah has always admired how stuck up Kiara has been. It's the reason why Sarah was never shocked that Kiara called the cops on her back in Kiara's Kook year. Kiara will never let anything go. "And I should be thanking you for making me realise that I don't want to be a balloon bride." Even with how stubborn Kiara is, Sarah knows how to deal with her and not give in like the rest of the Pogues do. Sarah just rolls her eyes and storms them further into the living area.
On the pull-out, Sarah lays out multiple different white dresses that are from her own wardrobe that she has never worn. Perfect time. A white dress for the bride. "I don't need one of your dresses, Sarah." Kiara retaliates. "I'm just going to wear the dress I wore to my party."
"That's bad luck, Kie. I will never let you get married in an old dress. So, choose one." Sarah snaps before looking through her bag. She leaves Kiara to look at the dresses as she walks over to where Brownie is eating his breakfast. Everyone has a role in a wedding. When Sarah reaches Brownie, she pulls out the bowtie to put it around Brownie's neck. If the rest of the Pogues are going to look like slobs, at least Brownie can look his best. And he does. At the feeling of something around his neck, Brownie looks up at Sarah and Sarah can't help but smile at the pup in a bowtie. Perfect. The black bowtie completes Brownie's look. The black merging with his brown and white fur. Perfect.
Everything will be perfection.
Sarah looks around the home that tells the clearly romance story of JJ and Kiara. How they made a fish shack into a home with just the help of a small puppy. Their Brownie. Sarah and John B missed almost five years of their epic love story. Sarah won't let anyone ruin it ever again. Because it's one of the only stories that Sarah is invested in. Her own life is fucked up. Her brother and dad in jail. Her step-monster and her sister both believe that there must be more to their story. Sarah is done with the Cameron story. So, she will focus on the story between JJ and Kiara.
Her own thoughts are interrupted when Kiara walks out of the bedroom wearing a long white lace dress. And even if it isn't a wedding dress, Sarah can't help but smile at how it fits a beach wedding effortlessly. "I've chosen the dress but I still don't see how it's that much of a big deal." Sarah notices how Kiara ignores the mirror. Even if she looks amazing.
"You do realise that weddings are happy moments in life?"
"Yeah. But I don't care, okay? I just want to get this over and done with."
"What?"
"It's just a day."
"Which is important, Kiara!" Sarah accidentally shouts. "You can be happy about this." Sarah notices how her eyes fill with tears. Happiness? Sarah's not sure.
"I need to do this because we are so fucked up and doing everything in the completely wrong order." Kiara cries out. Sure, Sarah can see where she is coming from. Pregnancy then the wedding may not be the traditional romantic moment but it's JJ and Kiara. They have never been traditional.
"You and JJ have never done anything in order though!" It's why their relationship is interesting to Sarah. JJ and Kiara have been friends for years. Then they sleep together but it gets weird. They move in together, raise a puppy together all whilst still being friends. Years go by before their story even begins. "I mean, the only thing you've done in any order is how you were friends before you realised that you were in love with each other. Traditional order however would shun you for kissing your two best friends before JJ, Kiara."
"John B kissed me."
"And it was weird. And then it was weird with Pope. It wasn't weird with JJ because you're both unconventional and you both took a non-traditional way to find each other. Having this baby before marriage would not make you a bad person, Kie."
A hiccup comes from Kiara as Sarah suspects that Kiara is forcing those tears down. Sarah knows it's just the mix of emotions from being pregnant all the way to being a normal girl on her wedding day. Sarah stays quiet whilst watching Kiara lean down to Brownie to smile at the bowtie around his neck. "You gave him a bowtie." Kiara smiles at the pup in front of her.
"Someone needs to wear one."
"Yeah." Kiara's eyes tell a very clear story to Sarah. Confusion. "Maybe this isn't the right thing to do." Rushing into a wedding? Sarah definitely won't ever do it.
"Maybe. Maybe you're just not ready yet."
"And what if I'm never ready." Only then does Kiara look up to Sarah. Kiara's words make Sarah scoff. Because JJ and Kiara are crazy. They will be ready, even if it isn't today.
"You'll know when you're ready because when you look at him, you'll see the rest of your life." Just like how she sees the rest of her life every time she sees John B. But Sarah can't announce that on Kiara's day.
Their conversation lasts hours until they realise that it's 6:30 and time to make a decision. Kiara is physically shaking and Sarah worries. Because Kiara is not normally the Pogue that looks fragile. But the fragile bride stands in front of Sarah as they walk to the beach. The decision is a hesitant one. A decision to put off the wedding indefinitely. Because maybe today isn't the day for 'happily ever after.'
When they reach the beach, Sarah wonders if Kiara will just collapse right there on the spot. Because the boys are not stood on the beach.
The boys remain in the car park next to the Twinkie itself. But it's not the same Twinkie the Pogues travel around in until they pass out in the main part of the van. No. Lights are hung around the frame of the open sliding door. Lights that make the Twinkie like something straight from Pinterest. Pillows and candles fill the base of the van that Sarah can't help but worry that these boys are a walking fire hazard. Vance Joy is whispering sweet music in the background as the focus of the area is filled with the sounds of waves.
But the Twinkie isn't the only thing that leaves Sarah speechless. Stood in front of the Twinkie is the three boys- all wearing white shirts and smart trousers. Sure, they are not wearing bowties but Sarah had half expected them to be wearing scruffy t-shirts and the same trunks from their day of surfing. Sarah watches as John B and JJ both stress over the lights on the frame all whilst Pope keeps fluffing the pillows. She wonders if this is all John B's doing. The hopeless romantic boyfriend of hers that has the same views as Sarah. Neither of them can let JJ and Kiara have a half-wedding. If only they had more time to plan. The place could have been packed with family and friends all whilst Kiara wears an actual wedding dress and JJ wears a tux.
Her romantic movie. With a slightly different looking wedding. But still with the epic couple that Sarah has come to be obsessed with. It's then that Sarah looks at the once shaking girl. Kiara Carrera. The girl that no longer shakes.
Instead, a massive smile is planted on her face as a tear falls down her cheek. Happiness? Definitely. "I think you're ready, Kie." Sarah whispers to her whilst linking their arms together. Sarah just observes how JJ brightens as soon as he turns to face Kiara. Love. Everlasting love. Admittedly, JJ's smile at Kiara is the same smile he has always had when he looked at Kiara. But unlike when JJ and Kiara were just friends, JJ looks hopeful. And Kiara is just the emotional reflection to JJ.
"I know I am." Kiara grins, still looking forward to JJ.
When Kiara eventually reaches JJ, Sarah doesn't listen to their words whilst Pope begins the ceremony. Sarah doesn't need to hear the words to know that this is everything. Kiara and JJ will never need the big, flashy wedding. Because that's not them. They could get married in the middle of the dump and it would still be perfect because it would JJ and Kiara staring at each other and understanding each other fully.
The ceremony is nothing like Sarah imagined. Especially as Pope keeps messing up the lines making JJ and Kiara laugh and call him an idiot. Laughter has always been a massive part of the relationship between JJ and Kiara and it's here today at their own wedding. And laughter continues the entire way through.
That is, until the rings.
Because a day's notice is not enough time to get rings nor is it enough time to know what to say about the rings. But laughter still breaks down when JJ pulls out a bracelet from his pocket. And Sarah knows exactly what it is before anything is said.
…
A bracelet.
Kiara almost breaks down when JJ pulls a bracelet out of his pocket. To anyone other than the Pogues, a bracelet is simply that. But Kiara knows exactly what this is. It's the bracelet he made all those years ago to prove that Pogues are for life. Wound together blue, grey, green and red. All colours that Kiara just happened to have at home. To anyone other than the Pogues, just the mere sight of the tatted, old bracelet would make them want to throw it away. But JJ didn't. Instead, Kiara looks at the bracelet to see how the bracelet has been sewn into a different bracelet entirely.
JJ made the bracelet to mix with the one that Kiara had already made. "I know it's shitty but I'm not made out of money and I thought, you like your bracelets and everything." JJ rambles, still looking down at the bracelet. "It's the one you made us when we were only kids. But I've added to it. Because it's not just you anymore. It's you and me." Kiara wonders if anyone else notices the sudden heat in Kiara. "I stole your one this morning to match mine." With this, JJ pulls out a matching bracelet. Colours mix together. Some of the colours shouldn't even go together but with how JJ combined them, the colours blend into one.
Of course, the bracelet fits perfectly around Kiara's wrist. She can't stop smiling down at the bracelet as her heart jumps head over heels. "You made the bracelet better." Kiara jokes.
"I'm an excellent crafter, Kie." JJ smirks. That smirk makes Kiara lean over, forgetting the ceremony entirely. Kiara connects their lips and even goes to deepen the kiss. Kiara goes to deepen the kiss when they are separated by the Pogues clearing their throats.
"Sorry." Kiara fakes an apology to the rest of the group.
It makes Kiara laugh. Because of course she is ready for JJ. She is ready for anything that life throws at her as long as JJ is by her side. She is indestructible when she is with JJ.
"And Sarah and John B, don't come after me. I got Kie a ring as well." JJ jokes before fiddling with his hands. Kiara glances to Sarah and John B who share the same confusion as Kiara. She doesn't have long before JJ grabs her hand with his own and Kiara looks down. When Kiara looks down, certainty over JJ only continues when she sees JJ take off the ring from his own hand. The ring that JJ has never been seen without. The ring that he takes off only to put on Kiara's finger. Sure, it's big. But Kiara flutters just from the idea. This ring is JJ.
Neither of them have ever been great with words. Only really ever saying those three words when having an emotional day. They even stay away from pet names and call each other 'dude' and 'man' as if they mean something meaningful. But Kiara has always believed that actions speak louder than words. Giving over his ring is a sign that JJ is open to Kiara. "JJ…" Kiara begins even when she is so stunned that she cannot even find the words.
"I know Kie. I actually can be a hopeless romantic."
"Who knew?" Kiara laughs out making the rest of the Pogues break down in laughter as well.
"JJ fucking Maybank, the romantic type." John B jokes out.
"Fuck Kie, you have changed this boy." Pope laughs. But no. Kiara hasn't changed anything about JJ. It's the same JJ that she met when she was a kid. The same JJ that used actions to prove his emotions. JJ has always felt the hardest. He has always been capable of everything.
Because JJ is everything.
The smile doesn't wipe off of Kiara's face for the rest of the ceremony. The smile doesn't even disappear when her lips work against his, cementing their new step to their relationship. Kiara can't stop smiling when JJ grabs her hand and runs towards the beach. Both of them laugh, high off of emotion. It's then that everything makes sense. The future may be messy and confusing at times. But Kiara will be able to face it if she is with JJ.
They dance on the sand to only the sound of the waves all whilst their pup runs around their feet. Home. Everything will be perfect if she remembers her home. Her family.
"Mrs JJ Maybank." JJ jokes to her whilst their foreheads are pressed together.
"Mr Kiara Carrera." Kiara returns the joke, beaming widely.
…
The world falls on its head three months later.
Emotions are strange especially when it comes to a pregnant Kiara. One moment, Kiara runs up to JJ and tackles him to the ground whispering 'Pregnant Kiara needs you' all whilst she tugs at his belt. The next moment, Kiara won't even let JJ sleep in the same room as her. She snaps that 'I just need to sleep alone.' But she still wakes up in his arms whether it is because she has gone to find him in the middle of the night or he has made his way to her. Ships in the night. Magnets attracting one another. Finding each other through the waves of pregnant hormones.
And the emotions are only worse when it comes to the rest of the Pogues. Kiara has now cried four times five months to Sarah. Sometimes she cries 'I'm going to be like my mom.' Other times Kiara cries 'JJ's going to be the favourite parent.' Kiara finds herself hopeless when it comes to trying to fight away tears. It doesn't help that Brownie keeps getting on her nerves. Brownie almost knocks her over every other day all whilst barking the house down. Kiara either cries or shouts at Brownie uncontrollably.
John B and Pope are the worst. She knows this. Kiara almost hits them every day due to their comments. From Pope speaking about death one moment then the next moment going into detail about what is in the pregnancy books that JJ forced him to read. It doesn't help that Pope just moved in with a medical intern that knows even more than he does about all the medical bullshit that the rest of the Pogues don't care about.
Kiara sometimes wants to kick John B however. With how John B jokes every five minutes about Kiara getting bigger. He keeps joking 'maybe you'll have multiples.' Kiara has to hold herself back from screaming when John B and JJ team up with their unfunny jokes. It's the small things that get to Kiara. John B saying 'don't worry, the bigger you are the better the baby.' Non-pregnant Kiara would normally be able to ignore the small quips. But it's the idiot jokes that not any aspect of Kiara can ignore. How both JJ and John B laugh when JJ says 'Does pregnancy hurt?' Kiara likes to quip back at that however but snapping 'I don't know, maybe you should try it next time.'
The worst thing in this fucking pregnancy however is her parents. Every waking moment, Anna or Mike want to be there. And sure, sometimes Pregnant Kiara rushes to them high on emotion to cry or laugh or just let out her pregnant emotions. But even Pregnant Kiara can't handle them every time. Anna likes to keep track on Kiara and the baby whilst Mike questions if Kiara is having sex with JJ because Mike hears that sex can be good for the baby.
So, it's not Kiara's fault that she can't control her emotions when everyone in her life is spurring her on.
Like right now as the group of Pogues sit around a bonfire on the beach as they continue their annoying game of 'girl or boy?' "Boy. Definitely a boy." John B determinedly states. "Look at Kie, she is the size of a house which just proves that the boy will be a surfer. Probably the best surfer on Outer Banks."
"No. I hope it's a girl." Sarah adds. "A girl that will try and even out the testosterone in Outer Banks."
"I'm with Sarah." Pope looks up from his new book on pregnancy just to answer. They toss around the game as if Kiara isn't there. JJ just laughs because the Pogues could never do anything that JJ wouldn't laugh at. The boy loves a laugh.
"Zoey. You're the expert, tell these idiots that it's a boy." John B quips.
"I don't know, John B. It could be." Zoey leans onto Pope. "There is a test to determine this though."
With that, all eyes lock onto Kiara and JJ. Kiara instinctively rolls her eyes because she doesn't care and has never understood why anyone would care. "Watching you guys play this game is a lot more fun though." JJ jokes, trying to lighten the mood. It doesn't work.
"A girl would be so cute. Like Brownie would have a little sister. A boy and a girl." Sarah speaks dreamily. Probably picturing the story in her head.
"Get the test and put us out of our misery." John B lays back down.
"No. We don't need the test." Kiara finally jumps in.
"Why?" The question comes from Sarah.
"Because I don't get why it matters. It's still a baby. A baby that doesn't even know its own gender. It's just a baby."
"Yeah. But you must be slightly intrigued." Sarah looks at Kiara, confused.
"No, I don't. And I think I can wait the other four months to find out the baby's gender. It's not the end all to the baby."
It's moments like these that Kiara just wants to throw them all in the fire to get them to shut up about the baby. Because even thinking about the baby stirs something in Kiara that makes her feel like throwing up or jumping JJ or running away entirely. It all doesn't make sense to Kiara as to how JJ remains calm when Kiara remains out of control.
The confusion all continues until they are lying in bed that night. It just doesn't make sense to Kiara that the reckless, normally loopy JJ is calm when everything else feels abnormal. It's the moment after Kiara cries for something that she doesn't even understand. "How are you not freaking out that in less than four months, we're going to be parents?" The question obviously throws JJ off. JJ looks down at Kiara with an unreadable expression. Pregnant Kiara even worries that JJ will announce that he can't do this anymore and run off right here, right now. But of course, he doesn't run off.
"Maybank name is like a fucking curse here in Outer Banks. But this baby seems to be hope that comes from the middle of nowhere. I'm not just a broken boy that is destined to become his dad when I think about the baby. I'm the Maybank that is going to break the curse. I'm not scared because I won't let our kid become me." A tear is evident in his eye.
"What? JJ there's nothing wrong with you!"
"Yes, there is Kie. I've been beaten and thrown out like trash by my own parents and no kid should have to go through it. I won't let my kid think they are anything but the greatest thing in life itself."
JJ Maybank. The boy that everyone thinks is hopeless is the lightest thing in Kiara's life. When Kiara is in darkness, JJ is there to save her. Always. Even when he has been through so much. JJ Maybank is Kiara's light. And just the face that he can keep it together when she is breaking makes Kiara know that she can be fixed. That she can find control once more. "This baby- boy or girl- probably helped you save me." JJ smiles at Kiara all whilst he fiddles with the bracelet on Kiara's wrist. "And Brownie, of course."
"Brownie saved us both." Kiara matches JJ's smile.
"Yeah, he did."
Boy or girl. It has never meant anything to Kiara. But maybe this baby could change everything all over again. JJ's hands move to ghost over the baby bump whilst they both find themselves edging into a calming sleep. "Girl." Kiara whispers out, not even sure if JJ is awake. "I think it's a girl." Kiara continues, more determined this time.
"I think so too." JJ whispers into her ear, calming her completely.
…
When Kiara reaches the last month of her pregnancy, JJ finds himself walking to the cemetery. It's after a night with JJ having another nightmare of his dad. A night that was filled with Luke Maybank's voice telling JJ that he doesn't deserve anything. Of course, JJ doesn't believe the words. But he finds himself in the cemetery anyways.
JJ gets to the grave when it is almost dark. Luke Maybank's gravestone is only here because JJ felt bad one day and brought the headstone when he read that ghosts haunt you if the dead don't have a place to sleep. The headstone is covered in moss and the words carved into the stone have corroded. But JJ remembers what they read. Luke Maybank. Loving father. Gone but not forgotten. JJ felt like he needed to say that Luke was loving because no one knows the truth about Luke and it's not right to speak ill of the dead.
But JJ was right to write that Luke will never be forgotten. Because he is still there when JJ can't control his dreams. It only happens a few times in the month. But when they happen, JJ can't think of anything other than the nightmare. "Hey dad." JJ feels his eyes glass over as he almost desperately laughs that he is talking to stone. "It's JJ. You're probably not happy to hear my voice but I had to come to tell you something." JJ needs to let it out. He needs to talk to something. "I got married a few months ago. She's this amazing girl that I definitely don't deserve. You probably agree with that." Another laugh leaves JJ when he feels a tear fall down for a man that doesn't deserve it. "But that's not it. Because my wife… fuck. It feels weird saying that out loud. Wife. Not exactly something either of us thought I'd have but here we are. Anyways… my wife is pregnant. Nine months and it could happen at any time…"
The rest of his life could happen at any time.
"But I'm not here to think about what you would say to that. I am here to say what I should have said to you when mom was still around. Because I am worthy of love. Kie has shown me that life isn't decided on a fucking surname. And I won't be like you. I won't. Because I am everything that you never were. You think you ruined my life dad… but you didn't. Because if my life was ruined, I wouldn't be able to have the super-hot, rich hippy chick from Outer Banks. You tried to break me but Kie was there to save me before it got too far. So, maybe I'm just here to say that you lose. And I won't let your words hurt me anymore."
The words feel great. Tears are for happiness. The feeling of freedom from the monster in JJ's darkness. But JJ doesn't let monsters ruin his life anymore. Ever since Kiara.
When JJ goes to turn around, he finds himself frozen to the spot with the image of Mike Carrera stood near him, smiling and nodding in an almost sign of approval. JJ won't become his dad and ruin his own child's life. Because Kiara won't let him. Kiara grew up with parents that raised her to perfection. Mike raised Kiara to perfection.
…
Nine months. Nine months of Kiara having to deal with people asking if she is pregnant of if she is just fat. Nine months where Kiara can't control her emotions with anyone, not even the dog. Nine months of wondering why people say that she will miss being pregnant. Nine months all just to wait for a baby.
And the baby is late.
Of course, it's fucking late. It's a Maybank after all and JJ has never entered an event on time. Kiara has been extra cranky ever since this baby went over its due date. Because Kiara doesn't want to be pregnant anymore. Kiara is stubborn. And she can't control her anger that boils because this baby doesn't listen to its mother when the mother screams 'get out of me!'
Anger builds through Kiara until it almost explodes completely when JJ quips something at Kiara that Kiara doesn't entirely hear. She hears enough to kick JJ out of the chateau so she can be left alone. But Kiara forgets. Being alone is fucking impossible! With it either being her mom or her dad or the rest of the Pogues. They will not leave Kiara alone. On this day, Sarah won't seem to just leave the pregnant girl alone. And it is driving Kiara insane. Because Sarah is just here to gossip as she does her nails.
Lucky Sarah, she can reach her fucking toes!
Kiara is forced to listen to Sarah complain about how John B still hasn't proposed and about how John B seemingly cares more about his job than Sarah. Because that's what Kiara wants to listen to right now. Gossip about a relationship that isn't going through pregnancy. Her pregnant brain can't help but be jealous that Sarah is still going through an earlier stage of her relationship even if the relationship has been going on for longer. Kiara just stares down at her stomach that is the literal size of a balloon that won't pop. Just pop! Do anything!
But no. The entire day, Kiara spends her time looking down at her belly to try and encourage the baby to come out just to move the focus away from Sarah's gossip. But no. The baby is just as stubborn as Kiara. Not even any movement. Nothing! It's not fair. It's not fair that babies can be so late to their party but as soon as they arrive, the attention is all on them. Because everything is about babies!
At one point, Kiara loses all patience with Sarah and tries to get away from her. Kiara finds herself in the kitchen, cleaning plates just for something to do. But even washing the dishes seems to be a mission when Kiara is pregnant. Kiara hates feeling useless. She hates that she can't do everything that non-pregnant Kiara can do. It's a bit like surfing. Non-pregnant Kiara would find surfing in her boredom and surf the waves until she felt numb. Pregnant Kiara feels numb without the ability to surf. And it's not fair that whilst Kiara can't do anything other than wait for the inevitable baby, JJ still can do everything. Boys have it easy and it is not fair!
It's not fair that a woman has to do all the hard lifting when it comes to pregnancy. Sure, JJ has had to deal with months of angry and stubborn Kiara. But Kiara is always stubborn and JJ is pretty good at maintaining it. He doesn't have to go through the pain of having a kid. He doesn't even have to think about the months of uncomfortable nights and painful mornings.
When she goes to grab at another dish, Kiara feels the uncontrollable swoosh of dizziness attack her again. Because that is all pregnancy is, right? An uncomfortable attack.
But this attack is different. The dish makes contact with Kiara's fingertips before it goes crashing to the floor, smashing into pieces. But Kiara can't think of the mess as her head begins to swirl. A whirlpool of dizziness fills Kiara as she grabs onto the side of the sink to try and steady herself. A buzzing noise fills Kiara's head as her legs begin to tremble. The buzzing fills any room for silence and almost blocks out completely the sound of Brownie's barks. Kiara closes her eyes for a moment to control the rollercoaster happening in her head but the sound of Brownie's barks makes it hard to concentrate. "B…Brownie. Stop barking." Kiara struggles to say but Brownie keeps barking louder than he has ever barked in his life.
Barking. Dizziness. Buzzing. Kiara scrunches her eyes shut as she tries to calm everything down. But the intensity keeps building. Keeps building until her entire body begins to shake. When she closes her eyes, Kiara sees herself looking in the mirror- pregnant and scared. Kiara remains scared all over again when her legs begin to give way. She hears dog steps move closer to her as if Brownie is trying to fight away the fear but even Brownie's whimpers can't win this war. "Br…" Kiara doesn't even get to finish her sentence as her legs snap completely, making Kiara fall to the ground.
Where everything goes dark.