When Kiara first moved to Outer Banks, she recognised straight away that life was different. The divide between the people working and the people paying was so big that people were given names to divide them even further. It didn't take the young Kiara long to notice that fitting in was going to be hard.
She was a Kook officially but never understood what other Kooks spoke about. Everything was messy for Kiara when she was younger. She was a girl that liked to hang out on the beach and try (read: fail) to surf whilst all of the other Kooks her age wanted to shop and gossip about life even when they had hardly lived themselves. Everything about Outer Banks made Kiara question herself. Questions revolved around her head: 'Why am I here?', 'Why am I so different to the rest of the girls?', 'Why don't I want to be like them?' Everything was messy.
Until the Pogues.
Fitting in wasn't a necessity when Kiara was with the Pogues. The Pogues didn't care what anyone said and didn't take shit from anyone. It was a way to avoid emotions and breakdowns. None of them spoke about the serious shit in their lives and everything made sense to Kiara like that. She didn't need anyone's help with dealing with her emotions. Kiara could do everything alone and go to the Pogues for a laugh after falling apart by herself.
The Pogues had an unspoken rule along with all with all of those long-winded, pointless rules. The unspoken rule of not pitying each other. Mostly, this was done by the Pogues only having brief words about emotions. One day after Kiara's parents told her off for forgetting to do her homework, Kiara went to the Pogues to ignore her emotions. One of the boys would say 'you okay?' and Kiara would just reply 'shit day.' And that would be it. Spending the rest of the day smoking and laughing around with the Pogues was all that was needed to get rid of the mixed emotions entirely.
When they were kids, ignoring mixed emotions was easy. Emotions were always just about small, pity arguments or a teacher giving them hell for not doing homework. Kiara should have known that the unspoken rule of not speaking about emotions would not last forever.
Emotions have changed since Kiara was a kid. From the hunt for gold all the way to her having a baby, hiding emotions and working independently to fight off the demons has become nearly impossible. It makes Kiara understand what all those people say about how change is scary and that change can unexpectedly happen. Never would Kiara have been able to guess that her emotions would create a storm through her being with JJ, married to JJ and then ending up having a baby with JJ. That's why she doesn't understand how JJ isn't sharing the same whirlwind of emotions. How can he stay calm whilst everything changes?
Emotions are Kiara's demons. And when she became pregnant, those emotions started to attack. They attacked her. They attacked Brownie. They even attacked JJ all whilst JJ stood up tall to fight against the evil. But he still came back after she yelled at him. 'I'm not meant to be stuck in a life that is completely out of my control!' Kiara had pretty much insinuated that she didn't want him in her life. Nor Henley. Nor Brownie. Even when they literally are everything to Kiara.
Kiara Carrera is a bitch. Kiara knows this. Kiara knows that everyone over the last nine months have thought this. How she can't control anything, not even herself. 'He needs to go or I will go!' Her words are something that she could imagine her mom saying- making the person choose between two people when there is nothing wrong with having both. It's stupid. Kiara regretted the words as soon as she said them because Brownie changed everything.
Brownie created a sense of fitting in when Kiara had thought it must have been impossible.
Brownie is the impossible. A puppy that comes into her life on a random day in which somehow happened to be the same day that Kiara and JJ both needed a sense of home in the chateau. Kiara likes to believe that she found him in his time of need but deep down, Kiara knows that it was fate that bought Brownie to JJ and Kiara when they needed help- help to find the meaning of life when everything has fallen apart entirely.
She could never leave him. She could never leave them.
They lay on the pull-out for what feels like hours. Kiara cries into the fur coat of Brownie whilst she cries out "I will never leave you." The normally loud, jittery JJ is laying the other side of Brownie, still and silent as he watches Kiara with Brownie. "I will never leave you." Kiara cries out again, not knowing if she is talking to Brownie or to JJ or to them both. But she believes her words. For the first time in a long time, Kiara finds control in saying what she wants to say without hurting everyone around her.
When Kiara looks at JJ, she watches as his eyes glass over as he watches Brownie. Brownie saved JJ. Kiara can't help but sometimes wonder where JJ would be if that puppy didn't find himself under that porch during that storm four months after John B and Sarah disappeared. How he looked so different to the JJ that she was friends with. How he looked like everything was over- that everything was pointless. Brownie was able to bring the real JJ back into the world. Maybe Kiara can find her true self again through the pup.
"I'm not going anywhere." Kiara's words this time are all for JJ. JJ needs security. He always has needed security. A secure place to land when his demons became too much. It may be something that Kiara needs now, but JJ could break entirely from it. JJ looks across the Brownie to Kiara. Kiara thinks he's about to cry or fall apart completely in front of her own eyes, but he doesn't. A small smile appears on JJ. A smile that Kiara has learned to love just merely from how it contrasts his usual, lovable smirk in which is normally cemented on his face. It's a small smile that only shows up around his family- around his Pogues- when emotions get too high. "I'll never leave you, JJ." Kiara cements.
"I know." JJ leans over the now sleeping dog to plant a small peck on Kiara's lips. "This is just fucking up with your emotions. Henley is fucking up your emotions but it won't be forever."
Kiara wants to question JJ. How can JJ possibly say that her emotions will return to normal? How does JJ know that everything will be okay? She thinks his words are just suggestions rather than the truth. Words that are hopeful when hope seems so far away. But his smile warms Kiara and makes her believe him absolutely. They're in this together. So, if JJ believes that everything will be okay, Kiara needs to believe it as well. JJ innocently flutters his hand up and down Kiara's side and Kiara knows that everything is okay. Because they've already been through hell, a new addition to the chateau can't make them go back to hell all over again. And if the baby does, JJ and Kiara have made it out of hell alive once so they must be able to do it again.
…
The next day, Anna brings Henley back to the chateau. As soon as Kiara sees her mother's car, Kiara wonders if she is going to break down all over again. Because this baby changes everything that Kiara cannot control. What if she hurts the baby? What if she has already damaged Henley? Kiara's heart rate goes up when Anna takes Henley out of the car. Luckily, JJ is there to hold Kiara up by wrapping his arm around her waist before Kiara can get lost in her emotions. Having JJ's arm around Kiara calms her slightly, even if her heartbeat still feels like a storm in her chest.
Henley is asleep when she gets taken into the chateau. It makes Kiara let out a breath that she didn't even know she was holding. Kiara can't say the wrong thing whilst Henley is asleep. JJ takes control, leading Henley into the nursery whilst Kiara still remains slightly taken back. Now, Kiara could have never imagined herself being a parent. But she could still imagine herself being a parent before JJ. But here JJ is, the stronger of the two parent Pogues.
JJ and Kiara lean against the crib, just staring down at the sleeping baby. So much innocent in the young blue eyes that could all be destroyed by just one word about the ever-present fight between the Kooks and the Pogues. Innocence breaks quickly in Outer Banks and Kiara can't help but wonder how long Henley's innocence will last. "Sleeping like her mother." JJ quietly laughs out, still looking down at the sleeping Henley.
"Yeah right. Just wait for a sound, she'll be asleep." Kiara looks at JJ.
"Ah, so more like me then?" The joke makes Kiara snicker.
"Yeah. Lightest sleeper in Outer Banks."
"Well, at least I don't sleep through the fire alarms." This feels normal for Kiara. Just Kiara and JJ laughing through the chateau. The only difference is that there is a small baby in the same room as them, making them keep their laughter to a hushed volume.
When Henley moves slightly, Kiara misses a breath as she anticipates the wails to come out of Henley's mouth. But JJ just moves a blanket up Henley which stops her movements entirely. JJ remains strong throughout everything. "How do you do that?" Kiara questions when she sees JJ smiling back to the baby all over again.
"I must have the soothing touch." JJ just shrugs off how great of a parent he is.
"No. I mean it's more than that. How do you stay so calm? How have you not lost your cool at me, or Brownie, or Henley?"
"I'm always going to be cool, Kie."
"JJ. I'm serious." A sigh escapes Kiara. "How are you so confident that everything is going to work out?"
Kiara watches as JJ's eyes flicker back and forth between Kiara and Henley, almost as if he is hunting for the words himself. A nervous laugh even escapes JJ at one moment. "I guess I just…" JJ hesitates. "I see what this is all worth." Kiara can't help but be confused. "I see a future with a family that is full of love rather than pain."
"JJ…" Kiara feels a rush of guilt all at once.
"It's not like this is going to be easy Kie. I mean, I still get nightmares of becoming my dad or making you run away with Henley and Brownie and leaving me alone. But I know they're just nightmares because I won't let my fears beat me up anymore. I'm calm because I want to give everything to this. And I don't want to lose you guys because I'm pretty fond of you."
"Well…" Kiara smirks down at the sleeping baby. "We're pretty fond of you as well."
"Good. Means I didn't make a bracelet and give you my ring for nothing." JJ jokes.
"Yeah, that would have been awkward."
"Exactly." Laughter represents everything about the real JJ and Kiara. And Kiara remains relieved to see that she hasn't lost that ability as well.
Whilst Kiara fights the waves building inside her chest, JJ brightens up when he looks down at Henley. JJ has always been a smiley boy. But around Henley, it's his eyes that lighten up as if he is seeing the purest thing in life itself. It's as if he found the gold in Henley.
There is only one other person that Kiara has noticed that JJ lights up in front of. Brownie. Just the mere sight of the pup makes JJ get so animated as if it is Christmas day every day. The smile on his face. The glistening in his eyes. All telling the story of hope for JJ Maybank. Hope is the strongest thing in life. Because hope can build and as long as there is hope, there is a fighting chance for happiness in life. Because hope is stronger than fear. Brownie and Henley keep JJ strong. It all makes sense to Kiara. For Kiara to remain strong, she just needs to find hope.
Hope is the overall benefactor to life. Kiara can't help but laugh at how JJ and the rest of the Pogues are so hopeful for everything even after all the shit that has happened since they were just kids. Kiara can't stop the laughter from escaping her as JJ turns to her confused but amused. "What's so funny, Carrera?" JJ smiles at Kiara.
"Just thinking about everything we've been through. What the Pogues have been through."
"And why's that funny?"
"Because it's so fucked up how quickly everything changes."
"Life is full of different routes to take Kie." JJ mocks what Kiara can imagine Pope saying.
"Wow, nice life lesson there JJ." The small snicker that JJ lets out lights Kiara up. "But are lives are still fucked up. I mean, imagine if we actually got the gold."
"Imagine if Peterkin was still alive."
"Imagine if the Cameron's weren't sociopaths."
"Shit. Our lives would be so different." JJ says, faking shock.
"We'd be rich Kooks living in Outer Banks with a Sherriff that we can still trust all whilst our neighbours aren't crazy." Kiara finishes.
"Boring." There is no laughter behind JJ's voice. Because what makes the Pogues perfect is how they don't care or want to act like the rest of the people of Outer Banks. Just because the Kooks have money doesn't mean that they are perfect. Money doesn't equal happiness. The Pogues prove this.
Life would be different if Kiara had taken a different route at any moment of time, but she would have missed out on everything. And another route would not guarantee happiness. She can't think of the what ifs. She can only look at the what will be.
When Kiara holds Henley, she hesitates but starts to see what JJ is saying about a future. Because life has fucked them up for a reason. Kiara has to believe that. Life has just tested JJ and Kiara to every element possible for this very moment. The moment that only grow for the rest of their lives. Life would be boring if everything was easy. Struggles only show that they can be strong and ready to face anything. For the first time in the entirety of Henley's life, Kiara looks down at the girl in her arms and sees hope. Kiara sees her daughter.
…
The first five months are the hardest for Kiara. JJ knows this. JJ knows that every time Henley cries, Kiara has to fight the urge to cry along with her. JJ gets better at stopping the tears from appearing. Most of the time, JJ just rubs Kiara's back or tells her that everything is okay, that everything is normal. Kiara doesn't get much time to herself in the first five months and it doesn't help that both Sarah and Anna Carrera like getting involved as if they are better mothers than Kiara.
Kiara cannot be beaten though.
Kiara's tears just prove to JJ that she cares. Henley cries. Brownie barks. Kiara cries. Repeat. It's just Kiara's emotions playing her up mixed with the daunting fact that this is it… this is her daughter right in front of her eyes.
JJ gets most of the snaps. Kiara and JJ have never been great at talking about their emotions in the first place with JJ mostly pulling snarky comments at Kiara which always result in Kiara playfully rolling her eyes. It's the normal between JJ and Kiara. And neither of them wants anything different. They are not this couple that would buy each other flowers every day all whilst calling each other sickly pet names. No. JJ and Kiara will leave that lovey dovey romantic bull crap to John B and Sarah. So, JJ just laughs off Kiara's snaps because it's how they have always been with each other. When Kiara snaps 'You did this to me' when talking about her pregnancy, JJ knows that the words just mean 'Stay with me. I can't deal with Henley on my own.'
Henley is eight months old when JJ thinks that himself and Kiara have become pros at this whole thing about being parents. Think being the key word. Henley is eight months old when she throws a spanner in the works. Crawling. At eight months old, Henley begins moving meaning that she is harder to track down in the proximities of the chateau.
She crawls through the rooms as if she owns the place. From room to room, hunting down her parents when they have been gone for too long. JJ and Kiara don't catch a break when they have their secret spy of a daughter crawling to find them before they can find a good enough hiding spot. Just like JJ always does, he laughs it off joking to Kiara that Henley is probably going to be the next superhero.
It also doesn't help their emotions when Henley easily moves to Brownie and pulls at his fur or tries to eat his food or splashes in the water bowl just for Brownie to join in and dig with her. And Brownie is no better. Brownie has always liked to play up but it's as if he does it more now that there is a small being for him to entertain. Because whenever Brownie does something naughty, Henley is there to laugh along with him. The entirety of the chateau is filled with either 'No, Brownie' or 'Henley, don't do that.' Yet again, JJ just laughs. Because it is as if they have two children when Brownie and Henley act as the misfits with one mission and one mission only- annoy the hell out of JJ and Kiara.
They are pretty good at working together to annoy JJ and Kiara.
The Pogues laugh at the misfits as well which only eggs them on further. With Brownie digging in the garden or Henley throwing her food all over either JJ or Kiara. John B, Pope and Sarah just laugh all whilst Kiara and JJ have to hold back their tongue before screaming the chateau down.
No Brownie.
Brownie, put that down.
Brownie, leave Henley alone.
Brownie.
Brownie.
Brownie.
Brownie's name often can be heard in the small rooms of the chateau. So, it should come as no surprise that when Henley is fourteen months old, Henley speaks her first (audible) word. 'Brownie!' Kiara is not sure that Henley really does say Brownie's name because it comes out quickly and all jumbled up. But JJ remains sure. Henley's first word is Brownie.
"She didn't say Brownie, JJ."
"I heard her clear as day Kie, Henley said Brownie."
"No, she didn't."
"My daughter is a genius Kie. Just like me."
"Hah! Yeah right."
After Henley's first word, JJ and Kiara become what JJ believes as the best parents in the world. JJ can't help but smile when Henley learns all the new words from papa to cup to dog. Watching her grow makes JJ smile. Watching Kiara start to gain control of herself makes JJ proud. Because JJ never breaks promises. And everything is going to be okay because JJ promised it would. There are moments where JJ just watches Kiara with Henley whilst Brownie sits at her feet. He mostly watches when Kiara feeds Henley in the high chair all whilst trying to see what other words Henley can say. Kiara won't admit it but she is an amazing mom. Just as JJ predicted.
Yes, Henley's sentences still don't make any sense but JJ knows that she must be the smartest kid in Outer Banks. Kiara laughs every time he says it. There are setbacks to having the smartest kid in Outer Banks. Kiara is quick to become nervous that Henley will begin to pick up bad habits. Bad habits including the language heavily used by the rest of the Pogues. The potty mouth used by the entirety of the Pogues. So, Kiara is quick to enforce the new rule to all of the Pogues. 'No bad language around Henley.' The rule makes them all laugh because they all think the rule is going to be easy. JJ thinks it should be fine. Just change a few words and Henley will have no idea what those words are.
Shit becomes slip.
Fuck becomes fudge.
JJ thinks it's going to be easy. Just find another word with the same number of syllables to fill the gap for the word that is normally in the sentence. JJ thinks everything should be easy. He quickly finds out the truth.
After a long day at work, JJ comes back to the chateau wanting to just hang out and do nothing else. But Brownie has other plans. It doesn't take long for JJ to be jumped on by an over-excited Brownie that knocks him off of his feet completely. The sudden shock makes JJ speak before looking around the room to check his surroundings. "Fuck, come on Brownie!" JJ shouts into the thought to be empty living area.
"JJ." Kiara snaps, making JJ look around the room for the first time since coming home. Just his luck, both Kiara and Henley are sat on the floor by the pull-out.
"Shit, Kie. Fuck, wait no. Shit. No, I mean crap no I mean crab." JJ manages to say, ignoring the sudden flustered feeling as his entire face goes pink. It's quick for JJ to know that he will be in the dog house that night.
…
Perfect parents for a perfect child and a perfect dog. JJ is sure of it.
That is why when Henley is eighteen months old, questions start to arise about Kiara and JJ. Questions about baby number two. To be fair, JJ has never questioned this. Sure, it would be pretty cool to give Henley a sibling that isn't a dog that cannot talk back to her but JJ knows how much Kiara had to go through to find herself after pregnancy. It isn't JJ's decision.
The questions come from Sarah. And Pope. And Pope's girlfriend Zoey. And Kiara's parents. And John B. And even random people that they walk past when they are out with Henley. Questions of what is the next step for the perfect parents. Kiara is quick with her response whilst JJ stays quiet. "No there is no next step. Henley was the final chapter."
"But Kie, don't you want another baby?"
"No, I'm good. I'm okay with just Henley. And anyways I have Brownie and JJ isn't much better than a toddler anyways."
"Hey. Actually, I am fully potty trained and can eat my food without throwing it onto the floor for Brownie to hoover up just so you know." JJ jokes along with Kiara.
"No, you just give Brownie the food directly."
The questions are all jokes but the questions annoyingly also get asked around Henley. Sure, she doesn't really understand when people ask her if she wants a brother or a sister but Henley still likes to repeat new words. Her new favourite word being 'sister.' JJ laughs every time whilst Kiara rolls her eyes playfully. Another kid. JJ never thought he would be a domestic husband with one kid let alone a domestic husband with two kids. He's okay with ignoring the questions and JJ is okay with Henley being their one and only. Because he doesn't want to almost lose Kiara all over again. If she can't believe that she is a perfect parent, a second kid may not be the answer for Kiara Carrera.
That's why JJ can't help but laugh at how consistent Kiara is. For the times where they are all over each other, Kiara always breathes out 'condom' before going any further. JJ laughs every time because it's ironic to him that they used condoms when they got pregnant with Henley, but now Kiara thinks they are the answer. JJ won't remind Kiara that pregnancy isn't completely avoidable when using a condom in a fear that she will never touch him again. So, he just nods at Kiara when she breathes the word out against his lips when she is practically grinding down on his lap after Henley has fallen asleep.
The questions only grow however. Even when Kiara and JJ tell everyone that is not going to happen. Questions only grow. And Henley's consistent 'sister, sister, sister' gets louder and louder as if she knows fully well how to annoy Kiara further. The issue is, the more the questions go, the easier it is for JJ to imagine it.
JJ can't help but imagine how different his life would be. How he could have that big happy family that John B and Sarah always fantasise about. Maybe it's because it was just JJ and his dad for so long and even before his mother left, it was just JJ and the abusive man towards a woman. Sure, the Pogues are his family. But JJ can only dream what it would be like to have that happily ever after with a big family.
Brownie makes it easy to picture. When Henley is twenty months old, toys are her everything. Whether it be the dolls that her grandma buys or if it's the miniature surfboards that John B gives her. Henley is obsessed with her toys. And so is Brownie. Brownie loves stealing Henley's toys when Henley isn't even looking. It often leads to tears but whilst Kiara deals with a bickering Henley and Brownie, JJ can only imagine that this must be what it is like when two siblings bicker over their favourite toy. How one (Brownie) looks innocent whilst looking at the other (Henley) cry over the absent toy.
If the imagination stopped there, JJ would be able to suppress it. But Brownie and Henley aren't always bickering. It's the times where JJ or Kiara catches Henley sharing her toys with the pup whilst she plays with one of the dog toys that makes JJ smile. Because he can imagine the times where two kids come together and learn to share and play together. Where toys are for sharing and are not just for that one kid. Siblings are just another word for first best friend. Brownie is Henley's first best (dog) friend but JJ can't help but imagine how Henley could be a great big sister/ best friend to a younger brother or sister.
But Kiara means everything and if she is not ready, nor is ever ready, JJ will never force her. Because she has already had to fight all of her demons already.
…
Kiara is sick of the questions. It is all Sarah's fault. One day, they are all hanging out at the chateau whilst they were watching Henley sleeping next to Brownie. Sure, they look adorable. The brunette look-a-like of Kiara with eyes just as icy as JJ's eyes lying next to the brown and white spaniel that now has some grey mixed into his fur. They looked so innocent. But Kiara still blames Sarah for asking the question. "Either another dog or another baby, you two need one more."
Sarah's question almost makes Kiara throw up her drink. Kiara can't be sure if Sarah is joking around but it makes Kiara's heart race. Because it's not something that she has ever thought about. One baby is enough. Kiara is an only child and she managed so Henley will manage being an only child. And another dog? Hell no. Not a chance. Too much work. Henley is still only young herself; how could Kiara and JJ be able to manage another change to their dynamic? It wouldn't be possible.
There's no way they would manage.
Sarah's question spurs many other questions from the other Pogues and her own parents. All with the same agenda of seeing if Kiara wants a second baby. JJ remains quiet whenever the question arises which just cements Kiara's understanding that one baby is enough. JJ doesn't want to deal with pregnant Kiara again. Kiara doesn't want to deal with pregnant Kiara again even if the result is worth it in the long run. The thing is, pregnant Kiara lasts longer than the nine months that other mothers deal with. Pregnant Kiara stays around until the baby is about six months old. No one would be able to cope pregnant Kiara again. And they definitely wouldn't be able to handle pregnant Kiara plus an old pup plus an almost two-year-old girl. Not a chance. They wouldn't be able to handle it.
Sure, Kiara can imagine it. How Henley would have someone to play with when Brownie, JJ and Kiara gets too tired or how Henley would be completely protective of her younger sister just like how Kiara is protective of the Pogues.
No, having another baby is not a choice. Even the logistics go against the choice to have another baby. The chateau only has two bedrooms. Where would baby number two sleep? Would baby number two have to sleep in with JJ and Kiara until they eventually move out of the chateau? Would baby number two have to sleep in with Henley until Henley gets too annoyed with her sibling? No. The logistics don't work. A lot would have to change for this all to make sense.
After the questions begin, Kiara makes the decision to be blunt about her decision. No, she can't have another baby. She doesn't give a reason. She doesn't need to give a reason. Kiara has to even remain blunt in front of JJ when he looks like he is about to forget about a condom when they get too touchy feely after Henley goes to sleep. Kiara has to remind him, making sure that they are doing everything to stop pregnancy causing issues with the logistics.
Kiara ignores her mother when Anna becomes insistent on having more than one grandchild. She ignores every message from Sarah when Sarah asks if Kiara wants to. Have another girl or a boy next time. She ignores any discussion of the decision to have another child because Kiara doesn't know how to answer. The logistics is a pathetic answer but it's the only thing stopping Kiara from saying yes. She isn't even scared of her emotions anymore. But that doesn't mean she should just change everything about herself again by having another kid.
The issue is when Henley is twenty-one months old, it comes crystal clear that JJ wants another child. He tries to hide his want and he's the only one that doesn't question it. Even Henley has questioned it by waking up every morning with one work on her lips "Sister?" JJ keeps quiet when the questions float around but Kiara knows JJ too well for him to hide from her. JJ lights up when the questions are asked, as if he is hoping that Kiara is about to change her answer. Kiara never changes her answer.
JJ doesn't think about the impact of baby number two.
But everything in Kiara's mind changes when they are down at the beach for Henley's second birthday.
It's a normal day where JJ plays fetch with Brownie whilst Henley chases after Brownie and Kiara laughs after them. So, it confuses Kiara when she feels everything change. She watches as Henley waddles after Brownie with JJ close behind. Kiara watches as JJ picks up Henley to help her get closer to the slowing-down pup. When they catch Brownie, JJ falls to the ground throwing Henley on top of him all whilst Brownie jumps around them. Laughter can be heard from the pile of bodies and Henley's soft word of "Again, daddy again!"
"Go get mommy." Kiara hears JJ breathlessly say.
Kiara has no time to prepare before Henley knocks the air out of Kiara. Kiara laughs as falls back against the sand, hugging Henley tightly whilst placing small kisses all over her face. "Daddy up to no good again?" Kiara asks, smiling up at JJ.
"Daddy's the best." Henley replies. JJ is everyone's favourite. Henley. Brownie. Even Kiara's own father from time to time. "He tells me stories about Popes." Henley nonchalantly says whilst fiddling with Kiara's bracelet.
"Popes?"
"Pogues." JJ clarifies. Henley keeps struggling but to be fair, Pope is someone she sees every day and Pogues are what she hears about every day.
"Ah, the story about the gold?"
"Gold, yeah." Henley manages to say before making her way back to Brownie.
Henley is just like Kiara. In awe with how JJ tells his stories.
They really are the perfect family. Not that Kiara would ever admit it out loud. It's this moment when she looks to see how JJ glows as he watches Brownie and Henley playing that Kiara forgets about all the minor issues with having baby number two. Because this is what she wants. Kiara wants to spend every day seeing JJ glow with hope for the future. Hope for the big family that neither of them thought they even deserved.
"Maybe you could add another Pogue to your stories?" Kiara casually says, looking down at the ring on her finger, hoping he would understand.
"What?" Of course, JJ doesn't understand.
"What if Henley has someone younger to play with? Maybe a sibling?" She watches as his eyes explode. Kiara never expected to say these words but, in this moment, they all make sense.
"Kiara Carrera, are you preg…"
"No." Kiara cuts in. "But what if I become pregnant?"
"You said one was enough."
"People change, JJ."
"But you hate change." She knew convincing JJ that she is being serious would be hard.
"Maybe I want to see a future where Henley has a sibling. Neither of us had siblings…"
"Yes we did, we had the Pogues." Kiara can't help but roll her eyes at JJ's words.
"I'm serious JJ. I want to do this."
"Really? Baby number two?" Kiara just nods.
"Baby number two. And besides, I want to finally have a baby that prefers me."
"No promises Kie." JJ laughs, making Kiara laugh as well.
Baby number two. For the first time, that doesn't scare Kiara.
JJ hastily plants a kiss on Kiara's cheek before running over to Henley. Kiara can hear his words clear as day. "Henley. Do you want to hear a story about the future Pogues?"
Future Pogues. Kiara loves the sound of that already.