A/N: Pardon my French.
Dinner
~ o0o~
The Burrow welcomed Hermione with wide arms when she arrived for Sunday dinner the next day. Mrs. Weasley and Fleur were in the kitchen, preparing food and chatting along rather amicably. Both of them hugged the brunette tightly when Hermione entered the room, greeting her.
"I'm so glad you made it, mon amie. Ronald told us you weren't feeling well." Fleur looked at her concerned. When releasing Hermione from the hug she was still gripping her arms gently.
"Oh, no! Don't worry, Fleur. It wasn't anything with me- eh," she leaned closer, not wanting Mrs. Weasley, who resumed frying the meat in a saucer, muttering about how she would make it so delicious Harry would have to eat more than two servings this time, to overhear her next words. "Emptying Fred's room just brought back some memories-"Fleur had no idea how literal it was, but she seemed to understand.
Fleur held up a hand, "Say no more, cherie. I'm thankful every day for what we have left, but it is still difficult sometimes." She dropped her hands and smiled gently. "We'll fight through this though. And don't forget that we made them pay for what they did too." The last sentence turned her features dark for a moment and Hermione shuddered slightly as she remembered how Fleur had looked even scarier when they arrived at Shell Cottage earlier that year.
"Je veux ils mort! Que pensent-ils qu'ils font?! Merde!" The blonde yelled in french as she took in the state Hermione was in after Malfoy Manor. She quickly calmed herself when she noticed how the girl shook, still soaked from the sea water.
"Don't worry, petit. We'll make them pay for what they did." She helped Hermione into a new pair of robes and when she was tending to the arm, fresh with that awful word, Fleur repeated her previous words and held Hermione's gaze for the first time. "I promise."
When teasing Fleur her sixth year, Hermione had somehow forgotten how Fleur had been chosen out of all of the eligible Beauxbatons students to compete in the Triwizard tournament. That day at Shell Cottage, Hermione was reminded of how dangerous the other witch could be. She was glad she had been on their side.
Hermione strode out of the kitchen and back into the sitting area. Andromeda Tonks was in the armchair, holding Teddy, and Harry watched in awe when Ginny reached over and pulled the little boy onto her own lap. With the two of them fussing over little Teddy Lupin, they really looked like the perfect picture of family.
Ten Galleons says they'll have a child before me and Ron…
Immediately, she froze. What was she thinking? A child with Ronald Weasley? Of course, she'd fancied him since she was sixteen and been interested in him even longer, but to even think about having a child- and with him-
Not that she thought it impossible in the far off future. But for a child to be conceived, you needed to do something first, and well… they hadn't. They'd been close a handful of times, but it never seemed like a good time and Hermione always felt like she was waiting for a sign.
Wait for what? You waited years for this boy to understand how he felt…
She never understood how Lavender and Won-Won had managed to spend hours snogging each other's faces off. Hermione could barely spend more than a couple of seconds before becoming a blushing mess when she and Ron did it. When she and Viktor had kissed it hadn't been nearly as bad, what stopped her then was the fact she felt like she had better things to do. And Cormac had never even been an option.
She was startled out of her thoughts when a hand slipped into hers. "Hullo."
Hermione blushed. "Hi."
"Ron, 'Mione, come look at what Teddy did to his hair!" Ginny waved them over and Ron placed a tentative peck on her lips before leading them to his sister, best friend and his best friend's godson.
~ o0o~
Dinner passed in its usual manner. People tried to keep it upbeat, Teddy was the center of attention, being the baby and all, and everyone ignored the grandfather clock that stood visible in the living room. The clock was very particular indeed and while still being useful, it hurt the family and friends to look at the golden hand that held the picture of Fred, pointed to 'Traveling'. It hadn't moved since the battle of Hogwarts.
A chill went down Hermione's spine when she thought of Fred's soul, stuck in the afterlife for so many months, still drifting between this world and the next. She wondered if she wanted it to move. Where would it end up? Or would it just fall off?
Without meaning to, she glanced at George. He was eating more than he had at previous dinners, which was a good sign. Maybe letting go a little had been good for him. She reminded herself to ask Ron on his progress with the apartment. He was supposed to spend his first night there after New Year's Day, right after Hermione returned to Hogwarts.
"How's the Auror training going, Harry," Mr. Weasley asked while stabbing a piece of potato onto his fork. "I hear it can get quite rough."
Harry hurried to swallow his food and explained part of his current assignments, keeping it vague. "I can't reveal too much, though. Sorry."
"No need to apologize, dear," Andromeda assured. "I remember spending hours trying to get information out of Nymphadora, but they hold a tight leash on you, the ministry. I just hope you don't get too much special treatment," she winked. "Auror is a title that needs to be earned."
Harry grinned, but Mrs. Weasley was not as amused. "If anyone has earned it, it's this boy, Andromeda."
"Oh, Molly, come now, I only meant-"
"Who's ready for dessert?" Fleur interrupted. Bill volunteered to help her take away the plates, while everyone shot her appreciative glances.
Hermione excused herself, needing to use the bathroom. She ascended the creaking stairs, entered the bathroom and took a deep breath.
These dinners can be so exhausting, thank god I'm spending Christmas at my parents'…
She did her business, washed her hands, splashed some water on her face, dried off and started heading down to join the others again.
When she passed one of the rooms on her way down, however, she stopped.
It hadn't changed at all.
Hermione approached it and without really knowing what she was doing, she opened the door. The lingering smell of gunpowder overwhelmed her, and something faint in the air made her heart ache.
Looking through the memories so far had brought something to the surface, something she never knew existed. She was sad about Fred being gone, not just because he was part of the Weasley's and losing him made them sad. It wasn't only because he had made people happy. The thing, Hermione realized, was that he had made her happy. For all his mischief making and pranks, few made her laugh like he had. It was a thing she hadn't even reflected upon until now.
With a sigh, she turned and closed the door, not sure what she had expected to find.
"What are you doing, Granger?"
Her voice caught in her throat as she turned and faced George. He looked extremely puzzled.
"I-I-"
Heat rose to her cheeks and neck as his eyebrows continued to travel farther and farther up.
"Um, I was just-it smelled of gunpowder and so I-"
Suddenly he placed his hand on her shoulder and rubbed it slightly. "It's okay, I think I understand. Just make sure Ron doesn't catch you next time." He smiled at her and it was horrible that the first time in so long she saw him smile, it had to be this sad. He let her go and she was on her second step down when she swore she heard him mumble to himself; "Talk about awful timing for her to realize."
Realize what?
~ o0o~
Ginny cornered her after dessert when the two of them went into her room. The redhead had claimed she needed Hermione's help getting something. It was hardly subtle, so Hermione really only had herself to blame when she was interrogated.
Hands on her hips and a glare closely resembling her mother's, Ginny ordered her to spill her secret.
"What are you talking about?" Hermione was once again this evening finding herself genuinely confused. It was not a feeling she liked nor cared to grow accustomed to.
"Why has my brother been looking at you all night with sad eyes?"
"Ron's sad?"
"Not that one. The one missing an ear, obviously."
George had been watching her? She hadn't noticed. Of course, during the last couple of days, Hermione had grown to realize she didn't notice a lot of things.
"Did you say something to him? Why is he sad again? He was finally getting better-"
"Oh, Ginny, no! I didn't do anything to George if that's what you're saying. And also, why would you think I would?"
The stern look dropped and Ginny sighed. "Sorry, just getting overprotective I think. He hasn't been the same for a long time and I hoped that his recent behaviour- I hope you understand I was simply afraid of anything ruining that."
Hermione felt guilty. She knew her going to the twins' old room had set something off in George and she felt bad that the youngest Weasley had to shoulder the worry of needing to protect her elder sibling from harm. "I understand, Gin. Really, I do," she waved her hand dismissively. "I just think he reckons I'm weird, that's all."
"Weird? Why?"
"Well, I sort of sneaked into his and Fred's old room. I-"How would she explain why she'd walked in there? She recalled telling George something about gunpowder. "It smelled like gunpowder when I passed the door and I wanted to make sure nothing was about to detonate inside."
Ginny smiled. "Did you forget their room always smells like that? Mom tried for the longest time to get rid of it, but the smell is as much part of the house as the ghoul in Ron's room is."
They laughed a little. "Let's join the others for a game of Exploding Snap," Ginny said. "I have a feeling Harry wants to take his mind of work for a while."
"Sure."
The girls took a step out towards the door.
"Speaking of Harry-"Ginny stopped walking and blushed. "I found something at his place the other day."
Hermione grimaced and faced her. "Do I really want to hear this? He's like my brother, you know-"
"Merlin, Hermione! That's not what- I found a ring!"
It was silent for a moment as Hermione processed this new information.
"You're joking?" she asked finally.
Ginny frowned now; she seemed to have expected a different reaction from her friend.
"Why would I?"
The brunette hurried to explain, not wanting her to misunderstand. "I'm not saying it's not great news, it's just… well… you're so young!"
Ginny laughed at this and Hermione had to elbow the witch to stop her from further teasing her. They had been through war and the idea that they still could be considered too young to marry felt strange to the redhead. "I suppose Ron will have to wait a long time for your hand, won't he?"
"My hand doesn't belong to anyone else but me, thank you very much Ginevra." It was Ginny's turn to grimace. "Sorry," Hermione said, "it's just that I can't see myself settling down and starting a family just yet. I want to finish my N.E.W.T.s and get a career going first."
"Wouldn't have expected anything less from you, Granger. But," Ginny paused, "don't forget you have to let yourself live a little. Enjoy being together and in love."
At this Hermione widened her eyes. Ginny narrowed her own at the brunette, "You do love him, don't you?"
"I have fancied your brother since I was sixteen, Ginny."
"That's not an answer, Hermione."
Hermione fidgeted with the end of her sleeve. "We haven't said anything, if that's what you mean. I mean, I care for him deeply, but love…Love is something that builds as time goes on, isn't it? It doesn't just happen."
Ginny shook her head in disbelief. "After all these years of watching the two of you pine after each other and you still aren't sure? Hermione, if you don't know by now, then maybe you don't love him the way you think you do."
"That's ridiculous, Ginny. Forget what I said, I do love Ronald. I do." She sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than the other girl.
The redhead crossed her arms. "Okay, say you do love him. But is it the love you have for a friend and family, or a lover?" Both girls blushed. "I can't believe I'm actually talking about my brother's love life…" She looked like she'd swallowed an earwax flavoured Bertie Botts Every Flavour Bean.
Hermione, meanwhile, bore a look of utmost distress. This conversation confused her badly. "I've fancied him for so long- what else would it be now if not love?"
Ginny looked at her, sympathy etched on her freckled face. "Just because you've fancied someone since you were young, doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life with them."
Hermione snorted. "You're one to talk."
The redhead ignored her. "All I'm saying is that I want the best for both of you, and it would do you well to consider how you truly feel about him before years pass and you're standing at Kings Cross with your kids, wondering if you're truly happy with how your life turned out. It wouldn't be fair to you, nor would it be fair to Ron."
And with that she hugged the brunette, noticing the latter's stiff shoulders, before taking her hand, leading them to the living room.
~ o0o~
The evening ended with tea and quiet in the Burrow. No game of Exploding Snap happened, the atmosphere not really suitable for the loud game. Ginny's words still rung in Hermione's head as she sat down with a book in hand. She had read the same sentence fifteen times now, but it refused to stick in her mind, it was too occupied.
Was Ginny right? Was it possible she wouldn't have to spend the rest of her life with Ron just because part of her felt like they owed it to themselves after so many years of pining after each other? She did love Ron, she knew she did. But the way Ginny and Harry loved one another was far from the platonic one she now suspected she felt for Ron. They kissed and it was nice. But shouldn't it be more than nice?
For a while, she suspected she might just be a person who didn't like getting physical. But that wouldn't be right either. Viktor's kisses had sent tingles around her body, and she never felt the urge to pull away to blush the way she did with Ron. Sure, she preferred studying at the time over snogging in an abandoned classroom, but that might have had more to do with her priorities than anything else. And while she cared for him, she never fancied Viktor the way she'd fancied Ron, making it odd that she'd felt more comfortable kissing the Bulgarian than her childhood crush.
The whole thing made her head spin.
What is happening to me? I have to focus on this book if I want to do well on my Charms N.E.W.T.s ! I can't spend my time daydreaming about kissing and boys like some silly schoolgirl.
Nevertheless, her attention refused to remain on the letters donning the pages of her heavy tome. Instead, it seemed to drift to the couple seated on a sofa opposite Percy. The three of them were engaged in polite conversation, but from where she sat, Hermione could see the way Bill's thumb would absentmindedly rub circles on Fleur's arm, while she in turn would smile at him again and again, as if she'd never seen anything more beautiful than his scarred face.
She glanced at another trio, currently intrigued by an escapee chocolate frog, jumping around in a circle. Ron argued they put an end to its misery, while Harry and Ginny protested that it was defect and they therefore had no idea what else could be wrong with it. None of them dared eating it.
Ron, feeling her stare, looked up and gave her a shy grin.
What used to make her feel giddy and warm inside only punched her gut with guilt. He was so clueless and innocent to the inner workings of her mind and Hermione felt dirty.
Before he could get the impression she was done with her reading, she raised the book to hide her face, after shooting him an apologetic smile that didn't reach her eyes.
It was ten in the evening when she left the Weasley's and Harry (Andromeda had gone to put Teddy to bed hours ago).
'It wouldn't be fair to you, nor would it be fair to Ron.' Ginny's voice echoed in her head.
She was confused but to this Hermione had to agree. It wasn't fair to either of them. She would have to figure this out.
But not today.
She needed to not think about it for a while, she needed a distraction.
Good thing there were some vials waiting to be seen when she Apparated home.
~ o0o~
A/N:
Confession time: I do not like Ron and Hermione together. Nevertheless, I don't want to bash on Ron, so despite this being a Hermione/Fred, the two of them are in an okay relationship (for now moahaha….).
And I always had a soft spot for Hermione/Krum, and it felt ridiculous she would chose Ron over a kind, smart (he was the best student at Durmstrang, I dare you to say he wasn't smart), athletic, well-mannered Quidditch star, who was the first boy to treat her as a woman and not a freaking encyclopaedia/homework maker…And Krum was still interested in her when they met at Fleur and Bill's wedding! I mean, honestly…
Still, the best choice for her would be Fred. Sighs…
And also, I studied french for four years, but haven't written french in yeeeeaaars so I'm still not sure if the french Fleur spoke is correct, so I apologize again.
Enough rambling!
Thank you all who followed, reviewed and favorited! I can't explain how happy it makes me to see so many liking this story!
Please continue reviewing!
Until next time!
/Primrue