Suspicions

~o0o~

"So, that was a complete disaster; one for the history books!" said Ginny. The girl moved the strap of her bag, switching shoulders. "Bugger," she added, when almost slipping on a patch of hidden ice.

It was snowing when Harry, Ginny and Hermione arrived in Hogsmeade, and after having bid the others goodbye in Diagon Alley they reflected back on the failed lunch.

George had apologized to all of them for his behaviour, and though none of them found his proclamation to be sincere they'd assured him they were fine. The next hour was spent picking at their plates, using stilted conversation to fill the silence, followed by Bill and Fleur escorting George back to his shop, while the rest of them departed.

Harry put an arm around his girlfriend.

"It wasn't that bad," he said, trying to reassure her.

He glanced at Hermione, who was deep in her own thoughts.

"Hermione?"

His best friend shook out of her daze. "Yes?"

"Nothing," said Harry. "Only wanted to see if you were all right."

Hermione shrugged. "I'm as well as one can be when subjected to the Weasley spite." She turned to Ginny. "Does he really always have such mood-swings?"

Ginny shook her head. "It seems to be exclusive to family members. Godric forbid he treat Angelina like that, she would have kicked his arse. Suppose this makes you special, though, Hermione. Congratulations, you're officially a Weasley."

The brunette made weak, sarcastic arm-waving in mock celebration. "Hooray for me."

This made her friends give half-hearted smiles.

"You never did tell us what he said when he lashed out," continued Ginny. "Was it…was it awful?"

Hermione shrugged once again, her face looking troubled, but she simply said, "Nothing I'll take to heart. George is grieving, I understand."

Ginny looked relieved, while Harry felt concerned.

"You'd tell me if you weren't okay, right?"

"Harry…" Hermione began. "Of course."

Harry nodded, somewhat pleased, and then stopped walking. "We're here."

They had arrived at the gate.

"All right," said Hermione, granting him a good bye hug. "You take care of yourself while on your missions and training and whatnot. Okay?"

Harry smiled. "Yes, ma'am."

After letting her go, he turned to his girlfriend. "I'll see you soon, yeah? I have a few days off the week after next, we could meet up in Hogsmeade, discuss those tactics you had planned for the team?"

Ginny's smile was wide and radiant. "You know just what to say to a girl." Then she kissed him, while Hermione looked awkwardly to the side.

When they had yet to part their lips, Hermione cleared her throat. "Right," she said, her voice a bit louder than necessary.

Harry and Ginny couldn't help but chuckle and had to finally release their hold on one another.

"See you soon," said Ginny, giving him one last peck on the mouth.

"Yeah," said Harry, grinning.

He stayed for a while, watching their figures approach the castle and when he was sure they'd made it safely to the entrance, he turned and Apparated on the spot.

He arrived at the front steps of Twelve Grimmauld Place. When he opened the door he was met by a very eager house-elf.

"Master Harry, you're back!"

"Hi, Kreacher," said Harry and handed the elf his cloak and overnight bag. "Dinner smells lovely."

"Your favourite, Master Harry. After having been gone so long, I thought it a good welcome home."

Home, Harry thought and couldn't help but feel that the word left a sour taste in his mouth. Grimmauld Place was many things, but he'd never let himself consider it home. He was relieved that these past months of training had only allowed him to occupy this house for as long as took for him to eat, sleep and shower.

"Thanks, Kreacher."

The elf bowed in response and told Harry to wash his hands before dinner which would be done in ten minutes.

While he washed, Harry reflected on the weekend he had had.

It had been wonderful to see Hermione again. He'd feared her and Ron breaking up for as long he could remember and was pleasantly surprised at the outcome. Though being upset, Ron hadn't held it against Harry when he told him that he'd keep being friends with her. And Hermione didn't seem to feel any spite or hurt towards Ron, like she'd done when he had got together with Lavender. She must truly be over him.

There was something, though, that concerned The-Boy-Who-Lived about his best friend. From what he'd observed this weekend he'd come to the conclusion that Hermione seemed different. Lighter somehow.

He wouldn't say happier…more like calmer. Less stressed. Less anxious.

The war had hurt all of them but once it was over Harry had seen the toll it had taken on her to stay by his side for so long. Far longer than anyone, even Ron. Harry was forever grateful for those long weeks she'd spent with him in that tent, but he also felt extremely guilty for everything that had happened.

He knew about her nightmares.

He'd been there the first time they had begun haunting her. With her parents away and not yet having time to retrieve them, Hermione had stayed with Harry at Grimmauld Place for a while. And despite the family's many protests, the two of them wanted to allow the Weasley's to grieve Fred and reconcile with Percy in peace. Thus, one night, Harry had awoken to a horrible scream, not unlike the one he'd heard at Malfoy Manor.

He'd rushed to her room to find Hermione scream and thrash in her sleep. When Harry managed to wake her she had looked at him with dread in her eyes.

"Harry…I was back…I was there…"

"It's all right, Hermione, you're not there anymore."

When she looked at him again he could see that she felt ashamed, and after a few more times he stopped hearing her cries. But he could always tell by the shadows under her eyes that she hadn't slept well. This silent struggling unnerved him more than her screaming had, for there was nothing he could do if she didn't want to be helped. Then, in a last effort to do something for her, he suggested retrieving her parents, hoping she'd find some peace in having them back.

"They'll be angry with me."

"Then let them. They'll get over it eventually. You did it for their safety."

"What if they're happier now without me? What if their lives are better?"

"That's ridiculous, they don't have their daughter. I'm sure they'd rather want to be with you. And I know I'd want to be with my parents if I still had the chance."

He knew it had been a low blow but Harry had to make his friend better somehow. He could be a Slytherin if the situation called for it and this situation had certainly called for it.

To his relief, Hermione had shown signs of improvement when her parents arrived back home. Yet it was still not the same as the way she was behaving now.

This weekend at the cottage Harry would glance over and catch his friend smile to herself sometimes, looking like she had unveiled a secret; like she was excited over being able to see the different pieces of a mystery reveal themselves. Almost like the time with Rita Skeeter. Although with less smugness involved.

Something was up.

"Master Harry, dinner is ready," called Kreacher.

"I'll be right there," said Harry.

As he made his way down to the kitchen, Harry worked on the different theories he had. Sure, Hermione had obviously been relieved to end things with Ron. But there was more to this. Perhaps…

No, Harry thought. Hermione wouldn't run off with another guy just like that. Besides, she'd tell me. Or at least Ginny would be able to pry it out of her.

He kept thinking.

It wasn't until today with George that her somewhat good mood had wavered. Harry figured that either the twin had said something so awful it took precedence over whatever good thing Hermione had going for her, or the twin had something to do with that good thing and his lashing out had destroyed that.

Although, I don't think George and Hermione are close enough for him to be related to her good thing…

Either way, both scenarios made Harry want to hex the ginger.

Harry missed the twins. He missed Fred. He missed George, who to be honest, wasn't himself nowadays. They had been there for Harry, more than he'd ever taken time to consider. When the rest of the school whispered behind his back, the twins would always be there with support. When Harry needed a laugh, they'd been more than happy to deliver. This brotherly, friendly connection had been good enough reason to hand them the money for their shop, and it was more than good enough reason to want to help George. But the problem was that no one knew how.

If only Fred were here…

"Master Harry!"

Harry snapped to, something black obscuring his vision, and realized he'd been about to walk into the cauldron Kreacher was hovering mid-air.

~o0o~

"Tell me!"

"There's nothing to tell, Ginny."

The redhead folded her arms and eyed the object hovering above Hermione's bed. "Right, so you're telling me that this Pensieve is for what? Home décor?"

Hermione sighed and put the basin back into her beaded bag.

"How did you even get one anyway? Aren't these supposed to be rare or something?"

She gave her friend a smirk. "I helped defeat the Dark Lord, I ask and people provide…most of the time."

Ginny raised a brow, smiling. "Aren't we being arrogant?"

Hermione shrugged.

Ginny stopped smiling. "Honestly, though. I find you sitting here, skipping dinner, with a Pensieve in front of you…What's going on? What are you looking at?"

Hermione crossed her legs on the bed. "I wasn't looking at anything-"

Yet.

"-I was just taking out some of my things, that's all."

Ginny's narrowed her brown eyes. "You're hiding something."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You don't think I know what sneaking around looks like?"

Hermione stopped fidgeting with her nails and looked up. "Are you accusing me of sneaking around? I'm a Prefect-"

"Oh, please, don't play the Prefect card on me! We are both well aware of the things you, my brother and Harry were up to after curfew. And even Percy snuck about, trying to meet his girlfriend, so don't even try."

It was quiet.

Ginny was waiting for answers while Hermione knew she wouldn't receive any.

"What do you want me to say, Ginny?" she asked finally. "What does it matter what I'm looking at? It's personal."

"So personal you can't even share it with your best friend?" Her brown eyes grew big and glassy. She sniffed. "I'm hurt."

Hermione scoffed, recognizing the act. "No, you're not. You just want to find out what I'm looking at."

"Aha! So you are looking at something!"

Oh, bloody ruddy Hippogriffs...

"Fine!" Hermione exclaimed. "I was going to watch a memory, okay? Now, it takes concentration, will you please leave?"

"Whose memory is it?"

Hermione growled.

It did nothing to scare the other witch, who simply cocked her head to the side. "You can't blame me for being curious, 'Mione."

"No, but I can make your hair green."

"All the better to match my boyfriend's eyes. Try again, Granger."

"Forget it, I won't watch it now, you've ruined it."

Something about the way she said it must have sounded serious for Ginny edged closer, any hint of stubbornness gone. "Sorry, if you truly want me gone, I'll go. It's just that...I figured you'd at least plan on telling me later. Isn't that how this works?"

It was, Hermione realized. Every other time she'd had something on her mind, whether it was theories, plans or Ron, she'd always taken care to assure Ginny that even though she wasn't ready at the time, she would eventually tell her.

Now, though, Hermione wasn't sure she ever wanted anyone to find out about this. Ever.

Saying it out loud would make it feel so much more real and she didn't want real right now. She wanted to watch her and Fred talk, spend time together, tease and fight. She wanted to forget that she wasn't back at Hogwarts with him. She wanted to forget that his little brother was angry with her, that his twin actually seemed to despise her, and she wanted to ignore the part that feared that if Fred were here now, he'd not like what he saw.

The Hermione he'd fancied…she was no longer the girl who'd scold the twins for being too loud, too rebellious, too crass. She wasn't Hermione Granger; girl with a stick up her bum.

She was Hermione Granger; a battle worn woman searching for reprieve.

She was damaged, broken, scarred.

"Fine."

Hermione blinked and realized she hadn't said anything in a while, but it was too late.

"Fine, Hermione, don't tell me," said Ginny and left the room, looking betrayed, leaving behind the plate of food she'd brought with her from the Great Hall.

Excellent, first George and now Ginny…

"I'm just making so many friends today, aren't I," said Hermione to the orange cat curled up against her legs. He looked at her and purred, causing her to smile. "What would I do without you, Crookshanks?"

The cat didn't answer, but kept purring his soothing purr.

Hermione re-opened her beaded bag and looked for the vials, deciding that despite how much she might want to, she wouldn't follow her friend. She'd let Ginny stay mad a while, as long as it caused her to not dig deeper.

"It's for her own sake," said Hermione. "Imagine what she'd do if she found out? She'd want to see the memories for herself, wouldn't she?" Hermione scratched behind the cat's ear.

It would make it harder for her to move on, I know it did for me. And some of them are private…something between me and Fred…and George sometimes, I suppose.

Hermione almost laughed, but quickly sobered before she had a chance to.

George's words had hurt. A lot. But there was nothing she could do.

Luckily, she'd cried herself out at the Leaky Cauldron and found it to even have been a bit refreshing. All the built up thoughts got an outlet and it made it easier to deal.

She always did it this way, though. She let something build until she couldn't possibly stop it any longer and then one ill-intentioned word was enough to push her over the edge.

It was better to feel, she knew this. It was healthier. Loads better than to bury something and then burst into tears when what you normally would believe to be minor affects you more than it should.

But Merlin, was that difficult.

Especially when you didn't want to feel. Especially, when everything about her whole situation was so complicated.

Because Hermione suspected now.

As soon as she'd sunk to the floor in that bathroom, she knew something was strange about her huge reaction and her suspicions scared her.

She might have feelings for Fred.

Feelings.

For Fred Weasley.

Who was gone.

It was so bizarre, and strange, and absolutely horrible.

But how could she not?

For the life of her, she couldn't see how this would have had a different outcome.

His memories had filled in the blanks of a crossword she'd never known existed in the first place. They just made everything fit, and everything made so much more sense.

There had always been some sort of feeling there before. She'd been left in awe, more times than she'd care to admit, of his abilities, magic, and bravery. And occasionally even his humour.

But this…something about seeing it from his perspective had changed hers, and she had no idea what to do with that…

All there was left was probably to just keep looking at his memories and hope and pray she'd find some kind of closure at the end of it. Before things got even messier.

She suspected what she'd find in the fifth vial…the twins' last year in Hogwarts, a year in which she and Fred had spent a surprising amount of time together, come to think of it.

What had made him change his approach?

Clearly, he shouldn't have been around her so much if his promise to stay away for Ron's sake rang true, so what had happened?

Hermione managed a tiny smile.

See, there's still something to look forward to…

She'd cried herself dry this afternoon, she'd thought, but as the burning began in her eyes, Hermione blinked and took a deep breath.

"Enough of this," she said, scolding herself.

The Pensieve was brought back out, and the curtains around the bed closed.

With a flick of her wrist, Hermione emptied the fifth glass holder and dived.

~o0o~

A/N: Hello, lovely readers!

I can't thank you enough for all your reviews, follows and favourites.

I mean, over 200 followers? I'm just….*sobs*…..so overwhelmed. Thank you!

And your reviews are always so kind and amazing, thank you for your support.

School is going to keep me occupied for a while now, so maybe the next chapter won't be up for another two/three weeks…Just know that I'm always working on it when I have time and I won't abandon this story, I love it and all of you too much.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Until next time!
/Primrue

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