Chapter 6
Izuku can't sleep.
Or rather he can, but not in Bakugou's presence.
The tent is pitch black and the alpha has completely wrapped himself around Izuku, chest flush against his back and an arm thrown over his torso. He's also hooked his leg with Izuku's thigh so if the omega shifts even slightly, he'll pick up on the movement. With his nose pressed right against the scent gland, he's entirely relaxed and sound asleep.
Izuku, on the other hand, lays wide awake next to him. With Bakugou so close he feels alert and attentive, making it impossible to rest. Over the last week or so the alpha sleeps close and holds him during the night, but Izuku is so vigilant that he finds it hard to even blink. He can only ever relax and sleep when the alpha leaves to hunt and gather supplies, and although escaping has crossed his mind, he's still sore to the point where he can't get up on his own. It's so frustrating that it brings him to tears every now and then, but once he wipes them away, he focuses on strengthening his grip by curling his hands into fists and squeezing them until they ache.
Next time Bakugou leaves his throat exposed, Izuku will crush his windpipe.
He's not sure if choking him will be an option again but it's helpful just in case the opportunity presents itself. Keeping his emotions under lock and key, each night he theorizes new possible ways to end Bakugou's life: shattering one of the bottles of alcohol and stabbing him in the throat with a piece of glass, strangling him, throwing him into the campfire, snapping his neck. But the alpha has gone out of his way to make sure that Izuku is strong enough to stay conscious but far too weak to do any of those things. He can't even stand after all, and he's not sure where he'll find the strength to kill Bakugou.
In fact, the worst of it comes from the emptiness that starts in his chest and spreads through the rest of him. If he's not hollow he's angry, and when he's not angry he's hollow. There are times when Bakugou says something infuriating but Izuku can't feel anything at all. He wants to escape and he wants to kill the alpha, but the situation is exhausting. Being treated like an object is exhausting. The hormones are exhausting, and it feels like his persistent nausea will never end until his heat comes.
But he has to keep trying, because if he doesn't, he'll become a pliant doll for someone he loathes.
However, violence doesn't work in a situation like this because it's obvious that Bakugou has both sadistic and masochistic tendencies, and whenever Izuku lashes out, it seems to backfire in some way. Sometimes he thinks about the previous three- hour punishment and he feels like curling in on himself until he disappears completely. He doesn't want to let Bakugou do whatever he wishes but it's starting to look like the only option until he thinks of a surefire way to kill him and escape.
Izuku also has to keep himself sane which is a lot harder than he originally thought. Sometimes Bakugou will look at him in a certain way that's hungry, greedy, predatory, and Izuku's stomach will drop and he's reminded of the times when the alpha had him cornered. It's almost like his arms are bound again and he's spread beneath Bakugou like a useless, empty toy. There are
even moments like these when Bakugou holds him during the night and Izuku has to close his eyes as he takes in deep, shaky breaths because the alpha's presence feels heavy and claustrophobic. It boxes him in and it suffocates him until he wants to sob.
To keep his churning emotions from waking Bakugou, he thinks of a place where he's safe and warm. It's a valley, more often than not, and he imagines tall grass that towers above him to shield him from the summer sun. There's the scent of wildflowers and a softness that only his mother could provide. She's been gone for so long but he can still remember her smile, her words, her voice. It comforts him and it keeps him from losing his mind when the anxiety becomes too overpowering.
After a few hours, Bakugou stirs beside him with a quiet groan. He rubs his cheek against Izuku's neck as a purr stars to rise in his chest.
"Mm, you're still awake?" Bakugou asks softly, sleepy words slurring together. "You need your beauty rest."
Izuku blinks slowly into the darkness as he swallows down his unease. "I can't sleep."
Bakugou gives a quiet noise—something between a rumbling purr and a heavy growl—and Izuku feels a hand slowly slide up his thigh. His muscles begin to tense but sharp teeth sink into the scent gland, a thin whine escapes him as he falls limp. The alpha's palm is cold against his skin, pushing beneath the cloak as it finds its way to the curve of his ass.
"What a coincidence," Bakugou murmurs. "I can't sleep either."
Izuku feels his stomach drop as lust pulses through the bond. He desperately wants to squirm away but Bakugou's jaws clamp around the scent gland to keep him receptive and pliant. Tears sting the corners of his eyes and he gives
a stained, uncomfortable noise as Bakugou slips a finger inside of him, a familiar ache spiking between his legs. He's still sore from the earlier punishment but the pain is quickly replaced by the throbbing warmth of slick beginning to dribble from his hole. Alpha scent fills the air and Izuku only slackens further.
Bakugou finally releases the scent gland and pulls the cloak up to expose Izuku's body, adding another finger and stretching him much easier than before. Izuku presses his face against the blankets to keep himself from inhaling the pheromones as Bakugou works his fingers deeper with a steady rhythm. Every now and then, he scissors them to stretch Izuku out and the omega screws his eyes shut in an attempt to ignore the rolling heat.
It doesn't last for long as Bakugou manages to push in to the knuckle and press against the bundle of nerves that lies deep inside him. Izuku doesn't know what it is, since the only time he remembers it being referenced by Bakugou was in the throne room: he called it a "sweet spot" and said that it's deeper than most omegas'. At the moment Izuku can't bring himself to care because it feels so, so damn good that all he can do is let out a muffled moan, hips shuddering. Izuku is about to put up a mental barrier but Bakugou presses up and into the spot a bit harder, massaging it with his fingers as Izuku responds with a high-pitched whine. The alpha flashes a satisfied grin as he rubs it in slow circles to coax more slick from Izuku's body, and it responds with wet squelches every time he rocks his fingers back and forth. Izuku's hips jump and shudder again, whimpering as he comes undone in Bakugou's hand.
"You're such a good boy," Bakugou whispers against his ear, and Izuku's mouth unwillingly waters at the praise. "It looks like you're getting more sensitive now that you're off suppressants. Your sweet spot is swelling by the day, and at this rate your willpower won't be able to save you."
Izuku's brain lags at his words as another wave of slick dribbles around Bakugou's fingers. He feels the alpha's tongue rolling across the back of his
neck as one of his legs is lifted up to spread him further, allowing Bakugou deeper access. The area is sensitive so Bakugou rubs in slow, soothing circles, and it takes Izuku a few moments to realize he's drooling. He wants something bigger to fill him, something thicker to stretch him and make him submit. It's like when Bakugou was fingering him before except this feeling is so much more intense.
Ah... what was he saying? Something about suppressants... and willpower...
Bakugou quickens the pace of his fingers, as if he was able to sense the clarity of Izuku's thoughts. The omega's toes curl and he gives another moan, sinking his teeth into his lip to keep himself from being too loud. Saliva dribbles down his chin and he feels the heat of Bakugou's tongue licking it up. Strangely enough it doesn't feel so terrible.
"Look at me," Bakugou growls. Izuku's mind blanks and he whimpers, obeying as his head rolls back against the ground to stare up at the alpha. Despite the darkness of the tent he can see his silhouette clearly, but what catches him off guard are a pair of glowing eyes that consume him: deep red and brightly lit with the fires of Hell.
"Look at me when I'm fucking you."
A jarring image flashes in Izuku's brain and he lets out a sudden cry. His muscles tense at once at suddenly he's there, there in the throne room, legs draped on each armrest as Bakugou thrusts within him, playing with his insides. There's heat roaring beneath his skin like a fire and everything's blurry, fuzzy, distorted around him. Tears roll down his cheeks and he's so nauseous he's shaking, he wants to vomit, he needs to, he's sobbing because it hurts, his body hurts, Bakugou hurts.
And suddenly there's teeth tearing into his neck and he's screaming, eyes wide and panicked as his body spasms. It's the worst pain he's ever felt in his
life as the bonding mark sears itself into his flesh. His life, his kingdom, his body, his mind destroyed. There's rage coursing through his veins like the spirit of war itself and it feels like torture.
Izuku's stomach contracts violently, a burning acid rising in his throat as he throws up at once on the blankets. He heaves, eyes watering as he coughs until he's shaking. The stench is awful and he shudders, tears dripping from his jaw while choking out broken sobs. Everything feels so mind-numbingly painful and the world around him is like one large disorienting blur of darkness.
Then, it takes him a few moments to realize that Bakugou's cock is pumping away inside of him.
The alpha holds Izuku's leg up and drapes it over his shoulder to keep his thighs spread as wide as possible. He seems pissed off at the outburst, forcing him open with each aggressive thrust. Despite laying on his side, Izuku feels far more trapped than he's ever been before: this position allows Bakugou to hold the omega's legs apart until his muscles ache from the stretch, leaving him whimpering with every wet sound of the knot smacking against his ass. Despite how receptive his body is to the alpha's cock, he hates this feeling and it nauseates him. He's never felt so worthless or disposable in his life.
"What the hell are you vomiting for, you sick fuck?" Bakugou hisses, disgust sharpening his tone. "Look what you fucking did. You made a goddamn mess for no reason."
His mind slowly begins to slip away, a familiar empty feeling settling in his chest that he can't resist: vacant and hollow as steady tears roll down his cheeks and drip from his jaw. He reaches inwards, searching for something but there's nothing. A chill in his blood freezes the synapses of his brain, preserving it and bringing his thoughts, his memories, his emotions to a standstill. They are all locked away in a place deep, deep, deep within him
under a thick layer of ice that can never be broken by the alpha.
Bakugou growls, thrusting deeper until the tip rocks against the omega's sweet spot. Izuku's eyes roll back and he unwillingly slackens with a submissive whine, and once Bakugou notices the reaction, he purrs with satisfaction and fists Izuku's hair tightly in his hand. Yanking it back for leverage, Bakugou hammers that spot until the omega's hindbrain practically melts: Izuku lets out a long, slutty moan that's drawn from the very core of his being, hips shuddering from the sensation as he begins to drool again. The chasm stretches wider between his body and his mind until Izuku isn't quite sure who he is anymore. This body doesn't feel like his own and his mind seals itself away, far away.
"You're worthless when you're not on my cock," Bakugou snarls, eyes burning. Izuku suddenly registers the rage that pulses through the bond but the numbing emptiness only persists. "You would be nothing without me. Just some comfort omega slave for my men, taking load after load of alpha cum until you go fucking stupid. Think about that next time you want to be an ungrateful, sickening shit."
The omega gives a sharp cry as Bakugou yanks his hair hard, and the thrusts become faster, rougher, and deeper as his anger grows. Izuku should feel scared but he can't feel anything at all besides the alpha's cock pumping inside of him. Saliva rolls down his chin, moaning until his lungs feel breathless and abused. He's falling apart and he can feel tears rolling down his cheeks but he can't tell if it's from pain or pleasure: there's a burning sensation in his ass and he feels like he's probably bleeding but strangely enough, there's a piece of omega inside him that's begging to be used. He wants Bakugou to fuck him until he feels less than nothing.
"You're useless," the alpha spits out with a bitter laugh. "You know, in my language we have a word for weak people like you. In fact, if I spelled out your name it'd be fucking synonymous. " He accentuates the last two thrusts with his words before his hips stop moving
altogether. His cock fills Izuku to the brim and the omega's walls flutter around him, stretching around his girth as it milks him for any possible drop of cum. Izuku gives a soft lewd noise, shifting a bit closer to the knot in hopes of it popping inside him, but Bakugou has him locked in place so he can't move. Slick drools around his cock as Izuku's walls desperately attempt to suck him in further.
"Deku," Bakugou growls darkly, licking his lips. "That's your name now. Understand?"
Izuku gives a quiet whimper but Bakugou catches his chin between his forefinger and his thumb to force him to meet his gaze. The alpha's eyes are dark and heartless but even so, Izuku can't bring himself to look away.
"Do you understand me, or did I fuck you so hard that your brain turned to mush?"
His eyes are hypnotic and he finds himself consumed inside them, nodding without thinking. Deku. He is Deku. This body's name is Deku. Izuku—the alpha, the prince, the determined and defiant—is gone right now. He's tucked away deep in his mind where he'll stay safe until this is over.
"I don't know how you do it, but I can't feel shit through the bond," Bakugou laughs as he begins to move again, even rougher this time. The knot smacks against the entrance with wet, lewd noises and Deku's eyes roll back again with a moan. Bakugou's cock is big and girthy and it stretches him in ways he hadn't thought possible. He's so empty, his chest is hollow and even the pumping of his heart feels out of place in comparison. All he wants is to be filled with something.
Bakugou snarls and suddenly, he's rocking the omega's hips onto his knot: Deku gives a long, high-pitched whine as his hole swallows it eagerly. He tries to say something but his words slur together and he can't think straight, toes
curling as the knot pushes past a wave of slick. There's a deafening squelch and the knot pops out for a moment, just before Bakugou snaps his hips up and slams it back inside. Deku gives a louder moan as the head of Bakugou's length slides across the sweet spot, his walls engulfing it like a cocksleeve. The rolling heat in his core reaches its peak and he crashes at once with a long, shaky lewd noise. He's cumming, he's cumming so hard that he can't even think about anything but the delicious stretch of Bakugou's knot. It's so wide he feels like he might break, post-orgasmic whimpers escaping his lips as the knot expands within him and lodges inside.
His brain feels hazy but he registers Bakugou cumming now—he's moaning hungrily, cock twitching—and the warmth of alpha seed fills Deku until it's leaking around the knot. Bakugou shifts his hips to make sure the knot is comfortably in place and Deku moans softly as he does. It stretches just right and endorphins pump through his brain from the fit.
The alpha lets go of Deku's thigh and it falls to the side, forcing Deku to roll over on his back. The knot shifts inside him with a slick sound as Bakugou's knees slide under Deku's legs, forcing them apart as the omega gives an aroused purr. Every now and then Bakugou's cock twitches to pump more hot seed inside him: he cums much more than the average alpha—considering the size of his knot, after all—and Deku's walls stretch to accommodate each load that fills him.
"You were much more receptive today," Bakugou murmurs. He leans forward to cup the side of Deku's face and stroke his cheek with his thumb: the gesture is surprisingly gentle compared to the aggressive behavior from a few moments ago. "Almost too receptive."
Deku leans into Bakugou's touch with half-lidded eyes. His hands are warm but the pads of his palm feels rough and calloused against his skin. The entire room is thick with the heavy stench of alpha pheromones but a quick whiff of Bakugou's thumb allows him to pick up the scent of omega slick. It makes his mouth
water and—
The back of Bakugou's hand cracks across his face, snapping it back with a sharp cry. Deku's head spins from the impact and he struggles to blink back the handful of dark spots that scatter his vision.
"Do you think I'm stupid?" Bakugou remarks coolly as he violently fists the omega's hair. He yanks back hard enough to draw a whimper from Deku's lips. "First you throw up and then you disappear from the bond altogether. Where did you go, Izuku?"
Bakugou's cock twitches inside his walls and Deku moans quietly as another load of cum fills him, the slap entirely forgotten. It's difficult to concentrate on the alpha's words with a knot this thick lodged inside him: it's stretching every sensitive ring of muscle that would otherwise make him melt. Bakugou, on the other hand, watches the omega spread out beneath him, eyes cold and calculating.
"Is that how you mask your feelings in the bond?" he asks, wrapping his hand around Deku's cock. "You allow yourself to become emotionally distant to seal yourself away from me? Maybe your wounds are so raw that this is all you can do in a feeble attempt to shield your mind." The omega whines softly as Bakugou begins to give lazy strokes, hips trembling as his walls instinctively clamp down on the knot inside him. Precum dribbles from the tip and a new scent fills the air: it's omega arousal and it overpowers the small confines of the tent with a saturation of pheromones. His pupils dilate until they're blown with darkness.
"Or maybe it's more than that," Bakugou whispers, cocking his head with icy curiosity. "If you're not occupying your mind, then what's left over is this cum hungry slut. Without your mind, your body is just your body, isn't it? No resistance, no defiance."
Deku nods numbly, though he's not very aware of the question entails: he's
too focused on the alpha's thumb which slowly rubs the tip of his cock, making his toes curl. His breath hitches as his chest rumbles with a pleased purring sound—it's a bit higher pitched than the alpha's—and his legs spread further as Bakugou quickens his strokes, spine aching from the position. Deku's cock is aimed towards his face and his jaw falls open to pant softly. Slick sounds fill the air and he moans, sinking his teeth into his lip to quiet his noises.
"Your body is an omega but your mind is an alpha, and I think I'm starting to like your mind more."
Deku's back arches as he climaxes a second time with a broken whimper, ropes of hot omega cum painting his face. His body shudders and the knot pulses against his prostate to milk him further. Slick omega walls clamp around Bakugou's cock with a tightness that's borderline painful as an incessant, rolling heat floods him.
"Your body makes so much noise when you're not here to stop it, Izuku," Bakugou comments with a bitter laugh. He pulls away from the stickiness of Deku's cock and wipes his hand across the omega's cloak. "Is the knot really that big?"
Deku immediately gives a quick nod and Bakugou arches his brow. He leans back a bit to get a better look at Deku's puffy, oozing hole before he sighs with disappointment.
"Close your legs for me."
The omega obeys, bending his knees slightly as he attempts to bring them together. He only manages to pull his thighs halfway shut before arching his back and whimpering from the stretch. It's too tight to shut them completely and he shoots an apologetic glance at Bakugou as he lets his legs fall back apart, a thin whine slipping past his lips.
"You really can't do it?" Bakugou asks, seemingly bored. When Deku
shakes his head, the alpha shrugs and wraps both his hands around Deku's knees.
And suddenly, he snaps them closed in one swift motion as an audible tear rips through the air. Deku screams before the pain even hits him, a harsh cry shredding from his lagging brain. Dark spots obscure his vision as agony rises within him like a surge of hellfire burning between his thighs. His body wracks with sobs as he struggles to pull his legs back apart but Bakugou keeps them squeezed shut: with the elasticity torn, alpha cum drools from the edges and leaks around the knot much quicker now.
"Izuku," Bakugou purrs, entirely unfazed by Deku's suffering. "It's time to come out now."
Deku weakly shakes his head, a deeper numbness settling in his chest. It curls around his heart and tightens like a hardening shell, a protective barrier that divides him from the persistent torment.
"Don't deny me at a time like this." Bakugou growls with frustration and squeezes Deku's knees before forcing his legs to cross, pressing his weight against them to tear the wound further. It wretches another bloodcurdling scream from Deku's throat as a spike of searing, throbbing pain stretches between his legs. It's so intense that his vision darkens entirely and sudden wave of nausea rises within him, biting back the taste of bile as tears roll down his cheeks. Blood begins to ooze between his legs now: it's wet and slick, far less sticky than Bakugou's cum.
"Come back right now, Izuku Midoriya."
Bakugou reaches through the bond and Deku feels the alpha's presence squirming within his chest, slipping through his defenses and burning through his dissociation like acid. The world spins around him and his body trembles violently at the sudden emotional intrusion, attempting to push Bakugou away
in any way he can. But the throbbing ache between his legs is so jarring and excruciatingly painful that he can't think, he can't move, he can't even breathe. Bakugou easily takes advantage of Deku's distressed state and ruthlessly pushes deeper inside his psyche.
In the midst of his anguish Deku lets out another sob and tears roll down his face in wet streaks. He feels Bakugou wriggling inside him, inside his head, inside his mind. It's disturbing and sickening and he wails as he feels Bakugou's hands—they feel like hands, they must be hands—playing with his guts, his emotions, his thoughts. Deku's breath comes in short, rapid gasps as his chest instinctively tightens bit by bit, desperately gulping for air. Darkness blurs the edges of his vision and the world begins to fade around him, white noise filling his ears. His head weakly rolls back against the floor as the pain and panic leaves him spent.
The last thing he sees is Bakugou's cold gaze, staring him down from above.
There's a softness pressed against Izuku's cheek and something tickles his nose. He allows his eyes to drift open, half-lidded at first before he becomes aware of his surroundings: he's curled in a nest of blankets but it seems fuzzier than last time, as if they were just cleaned. He can't sense Bakugou's presence right now so he must be somewhere else, thankfully.
Shifting slightly, he bites back a deep groan as a sharp throbbing pain spikes between his legs and spreads throughout the rest of his lower body. His hips and thighs ache and his head hurts for some reason that he can't exactly pinpoint at the moment, but he has a feeling it has something to do with whatever happened a few hours ago. Well... he thinks it was a few hours
ago.
Or was it last night?
The night before that?
Izuku rubs his eyes with confusion. He barely remembers anything besides Bakugou's fingers pumping inside him, then something awful happened right afterwards but... what was it? The memories feel like a blur that he can't recollect and it chills him to the bone. Nothing like this has ever happened in his life and it must mean that the situation is getting progressively dangerous for his mental state. If Bakugou's behavior continues to worsen, this will happen again and again and he won't be able to stop it.
Izuku can't let Bakugou succeed.
So far, he's been operating under the assumption that there is no way to escape unless the alpha dies. Bakugou has proven to be incredibly persistent after all, and he'd undoubtedly find a way to track him down with his scent. But maybe there's another way he can escape without killing Bakugou, though he would have to do something about the bond they have. Admittedly Izuku only has basic knowledge of how bonding works: it's primarily used to help two mates understand the depth of each other's emotions, and it's supposed to be done on the first night after marriage to solidify the connection. The concept is commonly referred to as "romantic."
If Bakugou had bitten him closer to the shoulder then he could possibly cut it out, but the bastard did it right at the base of his neck. That means if Izuku even tries to get rid of it, he'd bleed to death. However, maybe the bond is a blessing in its own way: if Bakugou can use it as a weapon, so can he. Something like that can be improvised to fit the situation, right?
Izuku is very fluid and his greatest forte is his ability to adapt no matter how hopeless things may feel. He's never been good at constructing plans or
thinking ahead, but this... he can do something with this. The gears slowly turn in his mind as his eyes sharpen and harden like iron.
This will work, he thinks to himself. I'll make it work.
Chapter End Notes
This was easily my favorite chapter to write thus far, which surprised me because I actually like writing Bakugou's POV more than Izuku's. I've never written dissociation before but I've experienced it myself so I hope I managed to capture it in a way that conveyed the idea properly. It was always a concept that interested me and I used to describe it as feeling "outside" of myself. Depersonalization I guess. It's a little unsettling and I personally don't like feeling that way but I've known people who say it feels like a comfortable emptiness.
Also, I wanted to let you all know that I started a second series called talk sick. It's a canon compliant blackmail fic so if you like glacier, you'll probably like this one! I just needed something to work on while writing glacier since it feels a little draining to spend all of my time on one project. It's gonna be just as psychological and angsty so I hope you enjoy it.
Now, as for the last thing I wanted to talk about: I've been thinking a lot about some comments I got on the beginning chapters of this fic. There were people who wanted to talk to me about the series and discuss things further but I was admittedly a little