Chapter 9

Katsuki feels hands cupping his face.

They're cold and icy and he hates the feeling but his body is too heavy to move. He can't even open his eyes because he's so weak that he can't push back against the touch. Someone is saying something but it's like he's underwater, unable to make out the distorted words. Everything sounds muffled around him and his head rolls against the ground.

Only a few moments later he feels a thumb pulling up his eyelid to check his pupils. He can't make out who it is but the world is built of fuzzy smudges of color that whirl around him, leaving him in a mental freefall. There's green and blue—forest and sky?—pulsing so brightly that he can't help but shy away from the light. His surroundings darken as his consciousness ebbs at the corners of his mind, and for a moment it feels like he's about to be swallowed by numbness.

But then, he hears it: someone's calling his name and patting his cheek to keep him barely responsive. That voice... it's familiar, and despite how disoriented he feels, a soft groan slips past his lips.

"Uraraka...?"

His voice slurs and he can barely process anything around him but that scent definitely belongs to her.

"Bakugou, can you hear me?"

There she is, that's her voice. He gives a soft noise in response—his body feels like fucking lead, god dammit, his chest is so heavy he can barely

breathe—but as the gears turn in his mind, memories begin to flood back. The last thing he remembers is that fucking omega standing above him with the most condescending, disturbingly vicious look in his eyes. Bile rises in the back of Katsuki's throat and he seethes with blind rage until he's trembling. That's right, he must have lost a lot of blood which is why he's so delirious. He can't let Izuku get away with this.

"How is he now?" There's a masculine voice now, and he feels someone take his hand. That warmth, that scent... it's Kirishima. "He feels really cold, like ice. That can't be normal."

"There was a lot of bleeding at first and I wasn't sure if he'd survive but there's progress. He just said my name which means he's responsive," Uraraka says as she checks his pulse. "You're right though, he is very cold..."

Her voice trails off as his darkening consciousness pulls him in again, every word growing more and more distant. Soon enough his head is rolling back again and his thoughts escape him until his mind slips away completely.

There's so much blood, he's wading in it.

At first it rests at his ankles but slowly it climbs up his boots until it's soaking his pants. It's thick and bubbling like stew as it reaches his knees and eventually the middle of his thighs. Once it rises to his hips he spots something in the distance among the ocean of red that surrounds him miles in every direction. Out of curiosity he makes his way closer and closer, eyes narrow as he squints to see what it'd be.

The scent is overpowering, and although Katsuki never had a problem with blood, it's actually getting to the point where he's lightheaded. There's

chunks of sinew flesh, entrails, gore littered around him now. Whenever he catches a glimpse of a human eye it feels like it's watching him pass which is somehow more disturbing than anything he's seen thus far.

When he finally approaches he realizes it's a child's body: face down in the blood as if it drowned in it. Katsuki frowns and fists the corpse's hair—there's a slick sound as he does which is actually quite satisfying—and he flips it over to take a look at its face.

A chill suddenly spikes through his veins as nausea creeps up his throat.

It's himself.

Gulping down air he sits straight up, blankets pooling around his waist. It's instantaneous, instinctive, and as soon as he sees movement in his peripheral his gaze immediately snaps towards it.

It's Uraraka, eyes burn bright as they reflect the campfire in the middle of the tent. She had been organizing her supplies but she jumps at his sudden movement, surprised.

"You're awake," she says, scooting closer. "How are you feeling?"

His thoughts are still on the dream, chest heaving as his starts to absorb his surroundings. There's a fire which means means nighttime and there's supplies which means he's back at camp and he's cold which means Izuku is nowhere nearby. He's already antsy, it's like separation anxiety which is starting to disgust him after all the shit that happened with the betrayal.

Just like habit his hand touches his neck and he reaches through the bond. For some reason he feels nothing... but he knows Izuku is still alive because otherwise he'd be in excruciating pain. There's just emptiness which is strange.

"Where is Kirishima?" Katsuki asks, avoiding her question. "I thought I heard him before but you're the only one here." "We're back at camp just outside the borders of the Todoroki kingdom, so he's fighting back enemy forces. So far we're doing quite well, since we do have more men."

"The kingdom..." he echoes, staring off to the side. "How long have I been out?"

Uraraka seems to ponder that for a moment. "About a week, I'd say. Kirishima told me that he had a bad feeling so he took a horse to search for you. He demanded that I come with him too just in case you needed medical attention, and when we reached the forest itself, Kirishima's gut feeling had gotten even worse. That's when we split up."

Katsuki nods a bit, signaling her to continue and she dips her head as well.

"I was the one who found you, luckily, so I started treating you immediately. You were very badly injured... you lost so much blood, I didn't think you were going to make it. But we still brought you back to camp because that's where most of my supplies were. I have a lot of faith in you but it was still a miracle that you survived."

His gaze slides towards Uraraka now. She seems nervous which makes sense since she doesn't handle tension very well, especially around alphas. But even then, he senses a feeling he knows all too well.

"There's something else you're not telling me."

"I... I haven't gotten to it yet," she replies almost immediately, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Then why don't you go ahead and do it?"

Uraraka chews on her inner cheek as she scoots a bit closer to him. There's still no eye contact to be made which already makes Katsuki a bit irritated, but he maintains his patience regardless.

After several silent moments, she finally speaks.

"I don't know if you'll be able to use your hand again, sir." The words tumble from her lips so abruptly that it takes him a bit to process them. "I've checked the wound periodically and while it's not infected, the stone went right through so it caused very severe injury. I wrapped it up the best I could, I tried to stop the bleeding but..."

As she continues rambling his eyes slide towards his own hand and he lifts it up to get a better look. It's completely wrapped in several layers of cloth but there's no bloodstains, which means Uraraka must have changed the bandages recently. It feels numb instead of painful but he doesn't know enough about medicine to tell if that's a good or bad sign. "...I tried my best and I don't know if it was enough. I hope you'll forgive me, sir, I'm sorry."

There she goes again, blaming herself for things that aren't her fault. How annoying, but he's known her for long enough to know that this is just a habit and she's just a young woman who needs reforming.

"I have some questions to ask you." Katsuki says as he keeps his eyes on her. He folds his arms on his knees and rests his chin on top of them.

"I'll undoubtedly answer them to the best of my ability, sir."

There's a pause as he gathers his thoughts from the past month or two: his curiosity has been insatiable ever since Izuku had mentioned Uraraka's possible projection on the situation. Katsuki decided to avoid the matter before but he thinks it's better to address it before things become... messy.

"Does Izuku remind you of yourself? Also, do you think I'm just as bad as the man who hurt you?" The second he asks, she pales a bit slightly and her eyes avert themselves.

"No, you're very different. I... I'd be lying to you if I said I thought you were kind, so I won't do that," Uraraka murmurs. "I don't think you have to be a kind person to hold value in my heart, though. But as for your first question, he does to an extent. I've been working to separate myself from that because I don't want to get too attached."

"Would you help him escape?"

"Never in my life." Her reply is delivered without an ounce of hesitation, eyes hard and cold. Admittedly something within him purrs when he sees her like this: he loves that look.

"Why not?"

"Because I want you to find comfort in people, even if it's not me or anyone we currently know like your generals. I know that goes against your own values but... it's how I feel, and I want to answer your questions honestly."

A chuckle escapes his lips. "Are you saying you think I need people?" "I think

everyone needs people."

"If you were born without it, you don't need it. I've told you that before, haven't I? I'm fine with being alone, I don't need anyone else."

"With all due respect, sir: when Izuku bears your pups, will you leave them completely alone?" Uraraka asks, expression much more serious than before.

Katsuki opens his mouth to say something but stops himself, choosing to think on those words instead. He... actually hadn't thought of it that way. If he's completely honest, lately he's felt more viscerally protective over his mate and just the idea of having pups in general. Maybe it's the bond, but maybe it's something else.

"I don't understand everything about you," Uraraka continues, voice softening. "I don't know everything that's happened to you either, but I think that your experiences and the people around you have shaped you as a person."

"Has Izuku shaped me?"

"I think so, sir."

That makes him avert his eyes. "In what way?" "He has positive and negative influences over you." It seems as if she's choosing her words much more carefully now, which makes sense because one wrong assumption about a subject like this could piss him off. "I think he's a challenge for you and as long as he keeps you stimulated, then I think he's serving his purpose. However, with all due respect, he does also make you very distracted and he may be starting to give you a bad reputation."

Katsuki rubs the back of his neck as he stares into the campfire. If these are Uraraka's thoughts then the opinion must be magnified among his men too. If any of them had seen him dragged into camp in the state he was in then that means they're already doubting his strength. From an outward perspective, it makes him look weak.

After all, it doesn't take a genius to put two and two together: he stayed in the forest with Izuku for quite some time only to return empty handed and half dead. That means it's obvious Katsuki was beaten by a simple omega, despite him being malnourished and mentally tortured. It pisses him off but he's far, far too smart to act on his own feelings. He was born and raised to be a perfect machine and a perfect machine doesn't let its emotions fall out of line.

"I need to talk to Kirishima," he says, glancing back towards her. "Bring him to me."

It doesn't take long for Kirishima to burst through the entrance of the tent, eyes wild with relief. Uraraka follows close at his heels but she keeps her distance, standing by the tent wall as he kneels beside Katsuki to give him several looks over.

"I thought I was going to lose you," he says, running a hand through his own hair. "How are you feeling?"

"I can't feel my hand. Uraraka says I might not be able to use it again," Katsuki replies, albeit keeping his composure. "Also, Izuku managed to get away and for some reason I can't feel him through the bond."

"Maybe he's dead." Kirishima's response is too quick for his liking and he narrows his eyes.

"No, he's not. I'd feel a much different way if he was killed. Instead it just feels empty and numb. I can't sense his location, his emotions, his condition... it's like he disappeared without a trace."

In the corner of Katsuki's eye he catches Uraraka opening her mouth, only to seal her lips shut soon after.

"Say it."

Uraraka grimaces a bit as she glances at his hand. "Sometimes bonds can be traumatized if they were used to hurt one or both of the mates. Shutting itself down temporarily is a coping mechanism to keep you from getting hurt further, but as time goes on, it will probably thaw and you'll be able to feel him again."

His mind returns to the day Izuku broke his own wrist, using the bond to amplify that agony to the point where he couldn't think. There was also the time when Katsuki had tried to rip Izuku out of his mind's confines while he was heavily dissociating but it hadn't worked, which leads him to believe that Izuku's manipulation of the bond was a product of it already going out of control.

There's a dark look in Kirishima's eyes that makes it obvious he's thinking as well. But about what?

He supposes it doesn't matter right now. What's necessary is getting Izuku back as quickly as possible, especially if his first heat is coming up. Any alpha around him wouldn't be able to resist that sort of scent. There's also Katsuki's reputation on the line and he can't afford to fail bringing his mate back.

"If I can't sense where Izuku is or what he's doing," he says slowly, thinking aloud, "then that means he can't sense where I am either. That can be used to my

advantage."

Kirishima blinks a few times, eyes suddenly widening with surprise. "You can't possibly be thinking about going after him right now. Your hand is very wounded and we're already in enemy territory. We need you to give orders to your men."

"Are you saying you're so incompetent as a general that you need me around at all times?" Katsuki growls. "Besides, I'll work on a quick recovery. In the meantime I have a second hand and I can learn to use it just as easily as my right."

"That's insane. You have territories to conquer for your mother and a duty to your

people." "I don't remember asking for your input."

Uraraka waves her arms with a nervous smile as the air in the tent buzzes with energy. "Listen, listen! There's no reason to go for each other's throats. Depending how severe the trauma is, it could be numb from weeks to months. Judging from the severity I'm guessing that Izuku must have fried the bond and it will stay fried for a very long time. That means you have plenty of time to recover, conquer the Todoroki kingdom, and eventually find your mate again."

She has a point, especially if Izuku made his way south. Conquering territories only brings him closer and closer to that idiot omega and soon enough there won't be a place to hide. In fact, if Izuku went to one of the kingdom's rulers for help then they'd probably hand him over if Katsuki promised to not destroy them. Of course he'd destroy the kingdoms anyways but it's an easy bargaining tactic.

But still...

"The plan doesn't address the issue of Izuku's heat coming soon," he mutters, furrowing his brow. "Another alpha could get to him before I do."

"It takes several months for an omega to give birth after conception. We'll find him before then," Uraraka quickly replies. Kirishima, on the other hand, narrows his eyes.

"So if another alpha impregnates Izuku before Katsuki does, you'll just kill the

child?" "We can force him to miscarry," she says with a swallow. "It would be a last

resort but—"

"Do neither of you see how illogical this is?" Kirishima cuts her off as his eyes dart towards Katsuki. "He nearly killed you and now you want to bring him back? What if he tries to hurt you again? What if he kills you before you can make him conceive?" "We'll be more careful this time," Katsuki says coolly. "He'll be tied up and immobilized until I can break him properly."

Kirishima's hands curl into fists. "Why are you not angry about this? Do you have any idea what he's done, to both you and your reputation? Do you even know what your own men are saying about you?"

"Mm, I am very angry. Furious, even. If I'm honest I still want to beat him until he can't even feel his body." His gaze slides towards Uraraka and he meets her wide eyes. "But the blood that runs through my vein is nothing but ice now, and I think we both know that a game requires two to play. Push back is necessary to keep challenge fun and entertaining."

"Your life is not a game," Kirishima growls through grit

teeth. "It is if I want it to be, actually."

"What about me? What the hell am I supposed to do if you die?"

Katsuki's eyes flick back towards him, cold and calculating. "Maybe you can die too if you're so weak that you can't handle living without someone you weren't even born with. In fact, I'd say you deserve it."

There's a lasting silence after those words as they stare into each other. Finally Kirishima looks away and the smallest of smiles twitches across Katsuki's lips. He reaches towards him and threads his fingers through the bright red strands, fisting them firmly as he leans closer.

"Kirishima," he murmurs, only inches away from his face. "Look at me."

The general squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before meeting his gaze with defeat. There's no more anger now, but Katsuki can sense it's bottled up and forced inside his chest.

"I know you're very upset. You're my loyal dog so it makes sense that you'd get so vicious when someone hurts your master." Loosening his grip on the hair, he lets his fingers run through it. "But I can take care of myself and the fact that you feel the need to protect me is insulting."

"I'm sorry," Kirishima mutters under his breath as he averts his eyes. Even so, it seems like Katsuki's close proximity is starting to calm him down. "If I had been there this wouldn't have happened."

There's a double meaning there, he thinks. His first thought was the hot springs but suddenly everything starts to sink in: Izuku was the first to notice that once Katsuki's attention was on him, he'd ignore everything else. It started with

Uraraka and not watching her reactions while he was touching Izuku in front of her but he hadn't even seen Kirishima's reactions either.

If I had been there this wouldn't have happened... he's talking about when this all started, isn't he? From the beginning in the castle, when Kirishima had probably wanted to accompany him inside instead of leaving him alone with Izuku. It's all falling into place now.

That look that Kirishima had when Katsuki had dumped Izuku in Uraraka's arms to heal him, his eyes when they gazed upon that bite mark oozing blood. He's disliked Izuku.

And that ultimately means that Kirishima has bias and may attempt to subconsciously influence the decisions made about Izuku. Or maybe consciously influence things? No, he doubts it. Kirishima wouldn't dare get between Katsuki and his mate, right? The general won't know that Katsuki understands now but now he has to watch and keep his eyes peeled. But this is also a wake up call to take Uraraka's words with caution: Izuku does, in fact, distract him. That boiling rage that churned in his blood can ruin his perception of events. While he was beyond enraged that he was bested by that damn omega, now is the time for patience. He has a short temper but revenge is a dish best served cold and he will make good on every single threat he had given.

Katsuki has been humbled and now he's more dangerous than ever.

Chapter End Notes

I feel like I have to give Bakugou some sort of development instead of keeping him this