Lan Wanji snapped out of his reverie just in time to stop the big blob of ink from falling from his brush onto the page. The Jingshi was silent except for the gentle rise and fall of his own chest and Wei WuXian's quiet breathing. He hadn't thought about that time in decades. A time when he thought he knew everything. When there was a right and wrong, black and white, but no grey. Everything had been simpler back when the worries of the years that followed where completely unknown to his 16 year old self…but then so was Wei WuXian! Placing the brush softly back in its pot out of reach of accidently ruining the disciples work, Lan Wanji let his mind wonder back to those few months, years ago, when his whole life had shifted.
It had been the first time he had seen Wei WuXian properly since he returned from his months in the YiLing Burial mounds. Anyone could see that he had changed in that time, for starters he no longer carried Suibian at his belt and this made him stand out among all other cultivators of his age. Instead he carried a large bamboo flute, seemingly indestructible, that had appeared in his hands when he escaped Yiling. But what had really made him stand out from the rest was his ability with the flute. It seemed to be a first class spiritual instrument that would listen to his commands only, and thus it made him both powerful, and dangerous amongst the cultivators gathered.
During those months, for some reason, Wanji had had bad dreams at night and been unable to concentrate in the day. It was almost as if he had a sense of foreboding about something but couldn't place what. At the time We WuXian has disappeared Wanji had been at home working on his own cultivation and hadn't found out for almost a month. Looking back on it he could remember the day Wei WuXian disappeared as the day he began having problems himself. At the time though but simply put this down to coincidence, even though by this something small in the back of his mind was shouting at him that it was anything but.
They had been gathered for a Phoenix mountain hunt, nothing new there, and nothing particularly interesting as far as Wanji had been concerned. Hunts where a way to improve your skills while capturing or killing low level creatures that hardly constituted a challenge. This one however was once again being livened up by Wei WuXian. He had already flirted with Wanji by….wait was that right word? Flirted? When did being annoying become flirting?....Wanji shook his head to clear it of the errant thought and began again. Wei WuXian had already shown his lack of discipline once again by asking him for his forehead ribbon to cover his eyes just show he show off in front of everyone. Wanji of course had refused such a thing and ignored that ….something…in his head that had wanted to inch his hand towards his forehead as soon as Wei WuXian asked.
Now the hunt had begun in earnest and all the young cultivators from the various sects where spread out across the mountain. The rules of the hunt where simple and hadn't changed in centuries. The clan who got the most prey into the net won! They were rules everyone knew by heart so no one had the need to explain them anymore. Wanji could hear the various voices of sects trying to coordinate with each other, to varying depths of success, while he strolled around the mountain looking more for peace than prey. He wasn't the only member of his sect here and he was sure that the other participants would do well enough without him getting involved.
Strolling in no particular direction he had found himself entering a glade ideal for peace expect for one small problem, there was already one person occupying it. It had taken him a moment to work out the person was Wei WuXian, and a moment longer to work out that for some reason Wei WuXian still had the blindfold on from earlier. He was lounged happily in the grass, somehow managing to confidently twirl his flute around in his fingers despite not being able to see it. His long, dark hair was down and pooling across both his shoulders and the floor which almost made him look like he was growing out of the clearing itself. The black flowing robes where falling from his waist around his legs, also making his torso look like it was part of the natural world itself. In short as he lay there in the clearing Wanji couldn't help but think that We WuXian looked how a god might look when relaxing.
A few minutes had gone by before Wanji came back to himself and realised he had been daydreaming and shook his head. Glancing over at Wei Wuxian, Wanji realised that his blindfold was still securely in place and he had no idea he was being observed. With an inaudible sigh Wanji had moved forwards to announce himself to Wei WuXian. He only wanted to announce himself…be polite…. yet almost as soon as he moved Wei WuXian noticed someone was there…..and began not only call out at the stranger but to remove the blindfold.
Wanji had rationalised later that he had quickly grabbed Wei WuXians hands to prevent him from removing the blindfold and thinking he had the bad manners of observing him without announcement. He had also rationalised later, that pinning Wei WuXians hands between his back and the tree was the easiest way to control a man who was close to being his equal in speed and skill. Although, however no matter how hard he tried he could not rationalise ALL the things he did that day.
Once Wei WuXians hands where pinned behind his back Wanji had relaxed a little. He was controlling the situation and, although Wei WuXian had initially tensed at being restrained he had now returned to a calmness, Wanji somehow couldn't replicate at the moment. Wanji had looked down at the covered eyes and the relaxed look on Wei WuXian's face and for some reason it had clicked open a lock inside of him which disengaged his rational mind. Without thinking about what he was doing he leant forwards and covered WuXian's mouth with his own, completely removing either of their ability to speak or communicate with the outside world. Wanji's world had narrowed down to just the two of them in a matter of seconds.
It wasn't thoughts that ran through Wanji's head but rather jumbled images….waking up in the middle of the night because of the nightmare of Wei WuXian somewhere, injured and shouting out for help….being punished because he was unable to focus on his work or sword practice…..wondering the area Wei WuXian had disappeared looking for any sign of where he had gone but coming up with nothing….the confusion, hurt, nightmares and uncertainty of the past few months where all surrounding this man, and here he was looking so relaxed and calm! Wanji's hands had unconsciously tightened round Wei WuXian's unresisting wrists, making it even harder to move and break free, while his mouth pressed even harder down. Wanji's tongue forced its way inside the others mouth, all the muddled thoughts and emotions from the past few months coming out in one big tidal wave through their joined mouths and fiercely entwining tongues.
Wei WuXian hadn't been resisting at all throughout this onslaught, but suddenly he began to become a little more animated, pulling to free his restricted hands. This subtle move seemed to be enough to break the spell surrounding Wanji and his rational mind immediately switched itself back on. Breaking away from Wei WuXian, as if he was a snake paused to strike, Wanji ran from the clearing before Wei WuXian could gather himself enough to remove the blindfold and see what had actually happened.
A small smile had crept across Wanji's face as he thought about that first time he had kissed Wei WuXian, his complete lack of comprehension and control of his own feelings. Of course he had kissed Wei WuXian many times since that day, and those times they both knew who they were actually kissing! But there had been something different and special about that first kiss which Wanji didn't think either of them had properly understood at the time. For Wanji it had been his first ever kiss, and completely unplanned. As he had found out later it had also been Wei WuXian's first kiss, linking them both unknowingly together since their childhood. But also something different about that time was the fear that had run cold through Wanji's body and subconscious mind. The fear that he might be discovered doing something wrong…that he was doing such a thing in the first place…but most of all the fear that Wei WuXian would remove that blindfold and not return any of the emotions just starting to flow through him.
Of course although Wanji nowadays was still careful about how he behaved in public, it was for very different reasons. He no longer had the sense of fear or confusion when himself and Wei WuXian embraced or shared a kiss. It was the most natural thing in the world and rather than scaring or worrying it served to calm his inner spirit like nothing else in the world could.
'Lan Er-Gege?'
Wanji's head snapped up from where he had been focusing on the table.
Wei WuXian knelt next to him looking curious and a little concerned. It was obvious from his tone that he had been trying to get his attention for some time. It was also obvious to Wanji that Wei WuXian, although awake and out of bed, had not bothered getting properly dressed. The collar of the loose robe he wore was slightly gaping open at his neck, revealing his collarbone, as he leant forwards trying to get his attention. Wanji reached forwards automatically and closed the gap so Wei WuXian didn't get cold from the morning air. In response Wei WuXian gave a cheeky smile over to him, the kind only he was capable of.
'It seems my Lan Er-Gege's mind is not on his work this morning…I wonder just what you are thinking about?'
'Nothing' came Wanji's automatic reply. However it was too quick and Wei WuXian knew him too well after all these years.
Wei WuXian laughed. 'Where you having naughty thoughts about me again? I thought I told you before, if you have any naughty thoughts about me you don't have to hide them. I'm sure we would both have fun seeing if we could make those naughty thoughts real.'
No, Wanji hadn't been having naughty thoughts before Wei WuXian woke up and opened his mouth! But as per usual Wei WuXian was shameless enough to say just the right, or wrong, thing to get him thinking that way. Stamping down on the images that had no place right now. Wanji looked up at Wei WuXian, who was still grinning, and decided honesty was the best thing in this situation.
'I was recalling some of our first meetings' Wanji said in a straightforward tone.
This admission successfully diverted Wei WuXian's attention as he moved to sit on the cushion always kept at the side of Wanji's desk for him to lounge on while he worked. He faced Wanji and spoke in his normal teasing tone. 'Where you thinking about the first time we slept together? Or maybe the time we spent caught in the cave where you first sang me the love song you had made for me?'
Wanji just looked ahead, while his arm instinctively wrapped around Wei WuXians waist, to keep him in place, as he spoke 'neither, I was thinking of our first meeting when you came back'
Wei WuXian let out a sound that was a cross between a sigh and a laugh….'yes I remember you having to force me back here, and me looking at that wall and being amazed and horrified that one thousand new rules had been added since I had last crossed the boundary. I had always promised myself I would never…ever…set foot back in this place once I left the first time and there I was being dragged back by you' Wei WuXian smiled as he rested his head on Wanji's shoulder 'I was trying to do anything I could at the time to get out of here'
Wanji's hand tightened a little as he whispered almost too quietly for Wei WuXian to hear 'I remember'.