Despite not being the one currently hooked up to an IV, Jean could still feel intense hurt and pain on Armin's behalf.
Armin was sleeping right now. Blood was flowing into his veins via a tube inserted through his arm. Even so, Armin still looked as pale as a ghost.
His other arm lay across his stomach, giving Jean a decent view of his wedding ring. It got him to lift up his hand and gaze at his own.
Somehow, in the wake of this tragedy, he started to reminisce of their wedding day. He could recall many things from that day fairly clearly. He could remember the officiant that performed the ceremony (some guy by the name of Ian).
There were also the small bouquet of lilies Armin had been holding, even as they were signing their marriage certificate (he had to do it one-handed). He even could remember Eren and Mikasa being their witnesses (much to everyone's chagrin). Strangely enough, he could also recall that he and Armin got Chinese food after the ceremony.
It was only a few months ago, but it seemed more like years.
Reaching into his pocket, Jean checked to see if he had any spare change. He did, leading him to stand up and tiptoe to the door as quietly as he could manage-
"Jean!"
Hearing Armin cry out his name got Jean to freeze in his tracks. He turned his head in gradual increments to look back over at Armin.
"Don't go, Jean!" Upon going back a few steps to check on him, Jean realized that Armin's eyes were still closed. He was just talking in his sleep, presumably having an unusually vivid dream.
"Don't go...please..." His speech died down into mere whimpers, and then nothing. Seeing that he wasn't awake, Jean resumed his walk to the vending machines in the hospital waiting room.
On the way, he pulled out his phone and began dialing.
...
Marco had been quietly watching television when the phone began ringing. He watched a little more of it before muting it and going to answer. According to Caller ID, it was Jean.
"Hello?"
"Hey." Jean got right to the point, without any small talk. "You still got a key to the house?"
Marco answered that he did. "'Kay, good. Can you go over there and take out all the baby stuff?" In the background, the sound of a machine beeping and whirring could be heard. "I get the feeling that Armin's not going to want to see any of it when he gets home."
Although that didn't sound like a good idea, Marco agreed. He in fact stayed on the phone as he got into his car and drove over to Jean and Armin's house.
"Where do you want me to keep it all?" He asked. "The spare room at my apartment?" There was a pause, alongside some more sounds of an unknown mechanism.
"...Yeah." Now the sound was that of something rustling, then Jean's speech getting muffled. "If that's okay with you, I mean."
"Of course it's okay, Jean. You know that."
Shortly after, he hung up, driving the rest of the way to the house in silence.
...
By the time Jean got back to Armin's hospital room, he could see him sitting up on the side of his bed. Next to him was the IV stand his blood transfusion bag hung on.
"Armin?" He stepped closer, getting Armin's attention. "Armin, you gotta lay back down. You need your rest." Armin shook his head, and started caressing his chest. While he did that, he struggled to stand upright off the bed.
"I need to go to the bathroom, Jean."
But Jean was adamant. "That's what the catheter is for. Now come on: lay back down."
There was no resistance as Jean slowly approached and held up Armin's legs, placing them onto the bed and covering him up with the blanket. Armin simply lay there now, with little emotion, staring up at the ceiling. When Jean took a seat next to him, he slowly blinked once or twice.
"I feel so empty," he rasped out.
Jean could say nothing to comfort him. All he could think to do was take hold of Armin's other hand and gently squeeze it. Armin didn't seem to notice.
...
"Hello, Mister Smith?" Once more, Jean was on his phone, this time calling in to work. "Oh, hey, Mike. Is Mister Smith in?" Now he waited for his co-worker to get his boss. He already had everything he needed to say when Mister Smith did come to the phone.
"Hey, boss?" Jean kept his voice low, lest he risk waking Armin again (he'd fallen back asleep once his blood transfusion was complete). "How many vacation says do I have saved up? I think I'm going to need them..."
Once work had been notified, Jean went on and called the school.
"Principal Pixis? Yeah, Armin and I are going to need a few days off of school. It's...not like that. Well, it is, but it isn't... Yeah, it doesn't make much sense to me either, sir..."
Soon, all the calls were made, and Jean and Armin were free for a few days. It gave them enough time to get funeral arrangements in order.
Jean was going to wait until Armin woke back up, though. It wouldn't be a good idea to plan a baby's funeral without input from both the parents.
...
A couple of days later, Jean was seated by the crematorium in the funeral home. In his hands, he was holding an urn containing his daughter's ashes. The urn itself sported an engraving of a little teddy bear, which he ran a finger over.
It had been damn near unbearable to attend the cremation itself. Jean was beside himself with grief, but tried his best to get through it. The only ones besides him to attend were his mother and Armin (he had been allowed to at least be there for the ceremony and for saying goodbye to his little girl).
He elected to stay behind when the other two left; he said he wanted some time alone with his little princess.
All the memories he'd expected to make with his child were already fading away. With the ache in his heart worsening, Jean held the urn closer and pressed it against his chest.
"Daddy will always love you," he whispered to the ashes that had (and should've) been his newborn daughter.
...
By the time Jean returned home, any sign of a coming child was gone. The crib was gone, as were any toys and clothes they'd managed to get (of which there weren't many). Marco had done a pretty good job with cleaning up.
"I guess you're home now, Alyssa," he said to the urn as he set it up someplace that it wouldn't get carelessly knocked over.
It just didn't make a whole lot of sense to him. The baby had been fine back when he and Armin hadn't really wanted it. Now that they realized they did in fact love the baby, she was taken from them.
Now, baby Alyssa sat up top a shelf, out of sight and out of mind. If Armin asked about her when he was released from the hospital, Jean knew where to find her.
...
That night, Armin woke up suddenly, hearing what he believed to be an infant's crying.
He'd been having an unusually vivid dream up until then. It had detailed the faceless creatures from last time now ripping the child out of him, and carrying it away.
"No, please!" He called out in vain to them. "Bring her back! Bring her back, please!"
Armin tried running after them, but they were too far away. He then had tripped and fallen, desperately reaching out to the creatures and begging them to bring his daughter back.
When he'd awoken, Armin wasn't entirely lucid. As a result, he proceeded to practically tear up his hospital room in search of his baby.
He'd managed to slow down when the realization hit him, but by then the room was an absolute mess. At some point during the destruction process, he'd managed to rip out his IV without him noticing.
Feeling more helpless than ever, Armin slumped against the wall and began sobbing. He didn't even really notice when a couple of the medical personnel came in to aid him.
...
School days for Eren and Mikasa seemed to have reached an all time low. The whispering that had once been directed at Jean and Armin were now centered around the both of them.
"Some friends! Not even there to help their buddy!"
"I hear they killed the baby themselves!"
"Like, I get being jealous, or concerned about the parents, but come on!"
No matter where the two went, or how long they stayed there, the gossip and rumors persisted. In fact, it got worse.
The two of them were even scorned by a few of their teachers. Miss Dreyse failed their Spanish exams, despite knowing that it passed beyond a doubt.
Home Ec was awful as well; none of the other students wanted to group up with them. Therefore, they were left on their own for their current group project. Mister Freudenberg did nothing about it. He even seemed to encourage it to an extent.
Eren also suffered when it came to football practice. The first time he showed up after the birth, Coach Shadis immediately benched him for the whole period. He was still on that bench while listening to the coach chew out the football team for yet another loss.
The two of them were very grateful to get home after the final bell.
...
During one of his visits to the hospital, Jean ended up helping Armin get himself clean. If nothing else, Armin was given a towel to preserve his modesty (and keep any important places dry).
Armin shuddered when he felt the cold washcloth make contact with his back. He gripped the mattress underneath him (the bedsheets had been stripped away to be washed), trying to not flinch and put himself in even more pain.
Behind him, Jean gently yet meticulously scrubbed him up. He made certain not to accidentally unhook Armin's IV while doing so.
Nothing was said between them. Nothing could be said. All that Armin could think of to say would involve more apologizing over their child's death. In turn, Jean would say it wasn't his fault (Because it wasn't), hopefully without getting too annoyed.
Jean had gotten over to the front side before pausing, which confused Armin.
"What is it?" He asked. By taking note of where his hand specifically was, he realized what Jean was hesitant over. "Oh...Go ahead, it's fine. It doesn't hurt as much right now..."
With permission granted, Jean continued. He tried not to make it so that Armin's heart monitor would suddenly reach an abrupt peak.
The way he washed, though, it was somehow putting Armin at ease. With a soft groan, Armin leaned back onto Jean and rested his head onto his shoulder. In turn, Jean made sure to be extra careful around any sore spots.
Once it was all over, Jean helped Armin into one of his more comfy shirts from home (it was soft and warm, and smelled nice. He must've had it washed before arriving to the hospital). Then he pulled him up off the bed so that the nurse could remake it.
The two stood and watched. Armin didn't even care that he was naked from the waist down. He just buried his face into Jean's chest and held it there. He just about drifted off to sleep right then and there, feeling Jean's fingers comb through his hair.
By the time the nurse finished making the bed and left, Armin was barely awake. This made it easier for Jean to carefully lay him down and cover him up with the blanket.
Armin was sound asleep in only a few short moments. Jean made certain to kiss him on the forehead, before whispering that he'd see him soon, and left to go home.