A few days after Joaquin was born, Armin was back home. He was still resting, though, at the request of Doctor Hanji and Doctor Berner. Jean, on the other hand, was getting ready to go up and see their son.
"Sure you don't want to come with?" He asked while kneeling on the mattress, buttoning up a faded long sleeve shirt. "I think Joaquin might like to see Mommy again."
"I think he'll be all right," Armin responded as he turned over to face Jean better. "I'd love to get up and go with you, but I don't want to disobey the doctor's orders."
To this, Jean shrugged. "Fair enough. Just let me or Mom know if it turns out you need anything."
...
As strange as it was to admit, Jean was actually starting to look forward to going to the NICU. It meant he could hold Joaquin close to his chest, and also sing and talk to him.
That was what he was doing now. Holding his newborn son just awoke something within him.
"Shhh," Jean had quietly said at one point, when Joaquin was starting to get a little fussy. "Shhh, baby, shhh. Calm down now, baby boy." To his relief, Joaquin did calm himself down.
"I bet you're starting to want to leave this place, Joaquin," Jean continued. "Well, just keep making progress and we'll have you home in no time!"
"Yeah, you get to bring your little colt home when it's big enough." It was by now that Jean's eyes narrowed upon hearing that voice. It looked like some of his friends came to see how he was doing.
...
Holding a conversation with his old classmates seemed a bit surreal to Jean now. Not only were they all out of school, but Jean was still holding Joaquin close to himself as he talked.
He also declined any requests for the others to hold his young son. The fear of any potential diseases was quite powerful, hence the protectiveness. Therefore the others had to be content with seeing Joaquin tucked away under Jean's shirt.
"Gotta love kangaroo care," Reiner said while he and Bertholdt tried making themselves more comfortable.
"Kangaroo care? But Jean isn't a kangaroo," Connie responded. Jean resisted the extreme urge to smack him upside the head for that.
...
The visit ended much too soon. Before he knew it, Jean was standing back out in the hallway, watching the nurses attend to Joaquin through the window. Seeing his baby still hooked up to so many wires was saddening enough as it was. The incubator he was in didn't really lift his spirits, either.
What hurt most of all, though, was listening to Joaquin's pitiful little cries. If Jean listened to them long enough, they almost sounded as if Joaquin were saying "Daddy, Daddy".
All Jean could do, however, was whisper a promise to his baby that he would come visit tomorrow.
Then he left before he could burst into tears, letting a few shaky sobs free as he went through the hallway back to the waiting room.
...
When Jean got back home, the scene there was devastating emotionally as well. Armin was sitting up on the mattress, his face in his hands and crying. He did pause to see Jean come in to the house.
"Jean!" He let out. "I didn't think you'd be back from the hospital yet. Or I thought maybe you'd be visiting Marco, or..."
Jean shut him up with a finger pressed against his lips. Then he got down onto his knees and patted his thighs, requesting Armin to sit (which he did).
"All right, now tell Daddy what's wrong."
Trying to ignore that way Jean referred to himself, Armin gave his reason. He didn't like how selfish he sounded.
"Well, you know how you have that one...interest? The one that makes you get turned on at the idea of me being with child?" An awkward conversation, and it was no doubt going to become even more so.
"Yeah? And?"
Armin's face turned deep red. "I guess I thought that after Joaquin was born, you wouldn't find me attractive anymore..."
He stopped, looking away for a few short moments, before Jean took hold of his chin and turned it back.
"That's what's been bothering you? You think I won't find you attractive just because you're not pregnant anymore?"
Jean embraced Armin and flopped down onto his back. He lifted a hand up and caressed Armin's cheek, thinking of the best way to put his current thoughts into words.
"Look, of course I still find you attractive. You're the one who birthed my children. Just because you aren't carrying one now doesn't mean I don't find you gorgeous." Here, Jean took hold of Armin's hand and kissed it. The way his eyes were glazing over meant he was starting to say things he hoped were erotic.
"These stretch marks you got?" Armin felt his hand slide up under his shirt, a finger caressing one of said marks. "They're a sign that you've carried life inside of you. That you've had a child, my child."
Now Jean's hand dragged itself upward, stopping on top of one of Armin's little breasts.
"And these? They're full of milk for feeding that child." He ran a thumb over Armin's now hardened nipple, eliciting a moan or two from Armin.
Jean then proceeded to run his hands all over Armin's body, causing him to practically shudder in near-orgasm.
"Just knowing that you're the mother of my baby is good enough for me, Armin," Jean said to him before pulling him closer to his chest. "That gets me pretty turned on, too."
All of this were enough to make Armin blush heavily. Were it not for the fact that he had to wait six weeks before having intercourse again, he'd jump Jean's bones immediately.
...
Later, in the darker hours of the night, a powerful thunderstorm had started to rage outside. As a result, the power over at Jean and Armin's side of town had unfortunately gone out. The both of them also had to experience the harsh lightning that could be seen through the curtains.
Now bundled up amongst all of their coverings, Armin was also held snugly in Jean's arms, enjoying the warmth and comfort that came with it. Jean was wide awake, no doubt worrying extensively about their baby son in the hospital. He very much hoped that the power hadn't gone out over there.
"Jean," Armin could be heard whispering. "I-I need to use the bathroom."
Without a word, Jean simply nodded and sat up. He reached over to take hold of a flashlight, and clicked it on. Then he led Armin by the hand, making sure he got there all right.
As they carefully walked through their small and narrow kitchen, Jean could hear (and feel) a dripping from above them. He'd have to contact his boss and see if he could do anything about that once it was daylight.
The two of them were already rather cold without their blankets (the temperature was dropping fairly early this year), so Armin tried to make it quick. While he went, he noticed Jean looked more tired than he usually would. Even after a busy day after the auto shop, he still had trouble keeping himself from knocking into everything.
It was on the way back to bed that Jean did actually collapse. Armin then had to lift him up onto his shoulders and carry him back.
...
Some time later, in the wee hours of the morning, Jean was quick to visit the hospital and see if Joaquin were all right.
To some form of uneasy relief, Jean saw that Joaquin was still very much alive. He did have a couple of nurses standing by his incubator and surveilling him, but that was pretty much normal.
Jean then felt tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes, when Joaquin started making squawking noises of discomfort. He couldn't thank them enough when he was finally let in for Kangaroo care.
...
Jean was now at ease (or as much as he could get), having Joaquin resting on his bare chest. He made sure that any tubes and wires hooked up to him weren't compromised or anything of that sort.
Hearing the occasional 'eh' sound from Joaquin also relieved him. He felt so much better holding his baby boy right next to his heart.
"Who's Daddy's special little guy? Yeah," He whispered as he tickled his son's tummy with a finger. "That's you, Keeny, and I'd give anything in the world for you to get better."
By now, Jean fished out his phone and took a picture of Joaquin sleeping. He grinned when he saved it, intending to show his co-workers the next time he came in to work.
...
When Jean did end up at work again some weeks later, the employees welcomed him back with open arms. As he had once promised them, he pulled out his phone and showed all of them.
"Well, now ain't he adorable," Gunther said.
"Indeed," Jean's boss Erwin added. "The spitting image of you, Kirstein." Mike simply chuckled and nodded, agreeing with the other two.
By now, Joaquin was beginning to grow at a more acceptable rate. He was still in the hospital, but was doing a lot better.
Jean was also grateful for his boss and coworkers having pooled some of their paychecks together, to get him an adorable patchwork quilt with all sorts of cute animals on it. He made certain to bring it along the next time he went up to the hospital.
After putting it through the laundry to deal with the smell of motor oil, of course.
...
When Jean was home one night, he was surprised to find that for once, Armin was trying to initiate relations. It had been six weeks, and Doctor Hanji had given them the okay, but until now, Armin had just been remaining in bed.
It was a pleasant surprise, if nothing else.
"I loved it when you would come inside me during my first pregnancy," Armin said, presumably imitating Jean's usual erotic sentiments. "Feeling you inside me in general, I loved all of that, and I still do."
"Yeah?" Jean was quick to catch on. "I loved it too. Fucking you hard from behind, holding your nice big belly full of my baby."
He ran a finger against Armin's cheek. "That still gets me so hard just thinking about it."
"And afterwards," Armin went on, while rubbing his nose with Jean's, "the way you'd start kissing and cuddling my stomach. All the nice things you would tell Alyssa..."
Once Armin mentioned the name of his daughter, the mood changed drastically. Neither of them seemed to care, though, quickly adapting to the new subject.
"Oh Jean...I remember you saying the sweetest things to her. And the way she'd kick when you said them, I loved all of it." He snuggled closer to him, letting him embrace him. "She knew what you were saying, Jean. I know she did."
Now the both of them were trembling, Jean holding Armin tighter against him.
"Why'd she have to die, Jean? Of all the births to end up dead, why'd it have to be hers?"
Jean said nothing at first, simply holding Armin and nuzzling his neck.
"Things just happen, I guess," he murmured. "Personally, right now, I'm hoping that she's looking over her little brother."