It was to the pediatric ward that Jean ran to as soon as he reached the hospital. It wasn't too far away from the NICU, so it didn't take him long to find it. He didn't even bother to stop when the people he ran past told him to.
In fact, he only stopped once he reached the first door and swung it open. By then, he was out of breath and his legs were shaking.
To Jean's relief, it was the room containing his young son. That relief quickly vanished once he saw Joaquin already using a breathing tube.
Like always, Joaquin's fragile health ended up leading to Jean crying and feeling like someone was squeezing his heart too painfully.
"Keeny..." Was all he could whisper as he watched the nurses attend to the sick little boy.
He barely noticed a nurse scold him and tell him to wait out in the hallway, until Joaquin was stabilized.
...
Marco tried to fill Jean in about what happened while he was at work.
"It was just so sudden," was how he started off with. "Joaquin and I were just watching a kids show, and then he was having trouble breathing. I brought him here to the hospital before I called you. I just panicked and-"
Jean ended up tuning Marco out, and now waited for any news in regards to Joaquin's condition. As he did, Marco quietly brought up something else.
"Do you think I should call Armin and let him know what's going on?"
Jean shook his head. "He's not going to care. Ever since Joaquin was born, he's been so distant. I don't know why."
Now Jean stepped away from the door, trying not to let Marco see him. He quick told him that he needed to get some fresh air and clear his head.
Surprisingly, Jean managed to take a few steps out into the hospital parking lot before he let go. The moment he did, Jean began shaking with a myriad of unstable emotions. With tears of sorrow and rage pouring down his face, he then screamed before punching the nearest light pole. Despite the pain that ensued, he did it a few more times, howling the entire time.
By the time he was finished, Jean got down onto his knees and sobbed loudly, holding his now bleeding hand.
"Please, God," he then said as he looked skyward, clasping his hands together. "Don't take my little boy away. Please, I'm begging You. I'm begging You, don't let him die! I'll do anything if it means he stays here with me! Please! Please..."
By now, Marco had come out in search of Jean, having heard him as he stepped out of the hospital lobby. When he saw Jean imploring that Joaquin be spared, he went over and knelt down beside him. Without saying anything, he placed a hand onto Jean's shoulder.
He then turned and embraced him, letting Jean return it along with rubbing and patting his back.
...
As soon as Jean was calmed down enough to stop from falling to the ground again, Marco brought him back inside and to where Joaquin's room was located. By now, the nurses had finished with trying to keep the little boy from suffocating. This let Jean be able to go in and take a better look.
"I'm gonna call your mother and see if she can come here," he said to Jean, who nodded and watched him leave. He then looked back and kept on walking.
"Joaquin..." He quietly whispered as he approached the bed. His son lay on his back with his head elevated, eyes darting about before letting loose with a few painful sounding coughs. Accompanying said coughing were some tears and wheezing. The pain Joaquin looked to be in made Jean's heart practically shatter.
"It'll be okay, Keeny," Jean told him as he held the railing at the edge of the bed. "It's okay, baby boy. Daddy's here now..."
Joaquin whimpered in pain, his nose trying to sniffle but was too congested to do it properly.
...
Later that night, when Joaquin managed to fall asleep despite his illness, Jean lay on a cot provided by the medical staff. However, he was unable to rest because of all that was happening.
Though Jean's mother had come and gone, she was fussing over her grandson the whole time. When she was gone, Jean made the request for nobody else to visit unless he said otherwise.
Even so, her actions were certainly more than what could be said for Armin-
By the time Jean conceded that he wasn't getting any sleep, his phone rang. He pulled it out and frowned when he saw that it was Armin. As carefully as he could, he snuck out into the hallway and answered.
"Hello-"
"Jean where are you?!" Armin's panic stricken voice cut through any proceeding speech. "I just got home and you're not here, and Joaquin isn't here either and-"
Jean stood and waited for Armin to calm down before he tried to say anything else. In as calm a voice that he could manage, he explained.
"I'm at the hospital," he murmured. "Our son has a severe lung infection and is in intensive care. He's been here for hours." As he talked, Jean made his free hand into a fist, letting it tremble at his side. He was just so angry with Armin right now.
"Huh?! He is?! Jean, why didn't you call me when you had the chance to?!"
Jean waited until Armin had finished, then gave his reasoning in as spiteful and displeased a tone he could get it:
"I didn't want to ruin your day of fun."
He then hung up while Armin could be heard on the other end, still frantic and desperate for answers. When his phone was back in his pocket, he went back into Joaquin's room.
He ignored Armin's attempts to call him back.
...
Eren and Mikasa were thankfully willing to drive Armin to the hospital, once he told them why he needed to go there. As much as they could barely tolerate Jean, they did at least try not to show it around his son (Joaquin was Armin's baby too).
It was already late at night when Armin had called Jean. He was fairly certain that it had to have been one in the morning when he reached the hospital and hurried in.
"Is Joaquin here?" He asked the receptionist without bothering to say hello. "Joaquin Arlert-Kirstein? He might be here with my husband?"
The short, dark-haired receptionist flared his nostrils in displeasure, but pointed Armin in the right direction.
"Good luck trying to get in, though," he told Armin in an irritated voice. "The little brat's father has requested no visitors whatsoever."
Now Armin was confused. "They have to let me in, though! I'm Joaquin's mother-"
"What. So. Ever," reiterated the receptionist through gritted teeth. To emphasize the point, he tapped his fingertips against the desk he was sitting at.
Armin was a little put off by his rudeness, but figured that it was probably best to stay put and not make a fuss about all of it.
...
Jean was alerted by the pitiful sound of his son whimpering, having woken up and making noises of discomfort. Despite being relatively tired himself, Jean was at his bedside ready to try and placate him.
"What's the matter, Keeny?" He said calmly as he tried not to frighten him. "Do you want Daddy to get you your teddy bear? Hmm?"
Earlier, when she'd been visiting, Jean's mother had brought along a bag of what she referred to as 'essentials'. It turned out to have a bunch of snacks and juice boxes for Jean. The rest were items for Joaquin, like a blanket and a few stuffed animals.
It was one of these stuffed toys that Jean dug out of the bag, bringing it over to his son.
"Here you go," Jean told Joaquin as he lay the bear next to him. "Mr. Bear will sit and keep an eye on you, all right?" Joaquin said nothing; he just rolled over and grabbed hold of his teddy.
"Daddy's gonna be gone for a little while. I'll come back soon, though, I promise."
With that, Jean gradually walked out backwards out of the room. He kept his eye on Joaquin until he was totally out of his sight.
...
Armin was sitting in the waiting room with Eren and Mikasa, waiting to see if eventually he could be allowed to see his little boy.
He didn't have to wait too much longer, though, it turned out.
"Armin." Hearing his name in a startled voice certainly got his attention. He looked over his shoulder to see Jean, wide-eyed and bewildered.
"Jean..." He stood up and turned to face him better. Eren and Mikasa tried standing up with him, but he gestured for them to sit back down.
The two of them stood and stared at one another for a few moments. Armin then took a few steps forward to join Jean in walking through the hallway.
...
"Why are you here?" Jean asked in an unusually cold voice. Armin tried to shake it off as he thought of the best way to explain.
"Why wouldn't I be here?" He was still a little put off by Jean's behavior. "I'm Joaquin's mother and I should be able to see him if he's in the hospital-" Here, Jean abruptly stopped walking, and put up a hand to stop Armin from going any further.
"No," he now said forcefully, pointing at Armin now. "You don't get to play that card now. Ever since he was born, you've done next to nothing for him, beyond ignoring him. Don't think you can suddenly act like he's important now that he's suffering from lung problems."
After pausing for a moment, Jean then lowered his arm a bit, only to bring it back up to his face. He then took a deep breath and sighed heavily.
"Why are you even acting like that in the first place? I swear, it's like you hate him."
"I don't hate him, Jean! It's just..."
Armin tried not to cry as he now hung his head down, and started to explain his behavior.
"Because I don't think it's fair."
Jean furrowed his eyes and frowned even more. "What do you mean? What isn't fair?"
Armin's bottom lip was quivering now. "I don't think it's fair that Joaquin got to live, while his sister was stillborn. I mean, Alyssa was perfectly fine during pregnancy, I reached full term, we did everything we could to prepare for her! And she still died.
"With Joaquin, I was three months early. I-I had to have him cut out of me. And yet he's the one who survived. I just don't understand..."
Armin wiped away any tears rolling down his face. "That's what I'm reminded of every time I look at Joaquin."
With Armin's explanation, Jean stared dumbfounded with his arms crossed. He then shook it off and gave his input.
"You think I..." He looked off to the side and took a deep breath, his hands becoming fists as they visibly shook. When he looked back up at Armin, he was on the verge of tears himself.
"You think I don't miss her, too? You really think that I've completely forgotten about our little girl? Well, I do miss her! I was devastated when she died. She was my daughter too, you know."
It was becoming increasingly difficult to hold his composure.
"I miss her every day. Hell, any time I get a chance to be alone, I practically cry my damn eyes out until there's nothing left.
"But her death shouldn't be an excuse to ignore our son all of the freaking time. He's only one, for crying out loud, and he's spent at least a third of that time in the hospital."
Armin was surprised and shocked into complete silence. He never realized just how much Jean had been holding in until now.
"We've already lost our daughter for reasons we couldn't control. I don't want to lose our son too, for reasons we can. So please...Please..."
Jean couldn't seem to find any other words for everything else he wanted to tell Armin. Instead, Armin stepped forward to embrace him, letting Jean rest his head against his shoulder. Jean then sighed again, before returning Armin's hug.
...
After some convincing the right people to let Armin through, he and Jean were on their way to check on Joaquin.
Jean took his designated spot onto the cot provided by the medical staff, while Armin sat down next to him. By now Joaquin had fallen asleep, struggling a little with breathing while clutching his teddy bear.
"He's so pale," Armin said mostly to himself. Jean simply nodded. He then reached over and took a gentle hold of Armin's hand.
"Sometimes, like when I'm at work or visiting one of our friends, I'm reminded that the two of us were kids when we got married. We still are, really. We're kids who have a kid.
"I'm willing to stick around for as long as possible, though. So if you are, too, that'd be awesome."
He waited for Armin's response, which came in the form of gently squeezing his hand and nodding.
"I'll give it a try," he spoke in a dry whisper. "I'll try to be a better parent to Joaquin, too."
Hearing this made Jean look over and smile, which was returned and accompanied by a big hug.
The two of them pulled back as soon as they heard Joaquin coughing and whimpering, and right away they were at his bedside to attend to him.
"It's all right, Joaquin," Armin said as he reached in and let his son hold his hand. "Mommy and Daddy are here now."
It took a little while, but eventually Joaquin was calmed down enough to go back to sleep. Once he was, his parents watched for a little while.
At one point, Armin wrapped one of his arms around Jean's waist, leaning his head onto his shoulder. In turn, Jean pulled him in closer and held him in his arms.