The Cloud That Bites The Skies
Summary: A scary person with a fearsome reputation finds Tsuna and Co on a normal, sunny day, bringing news of an assassination plot on Don Cavallone. Insanity ensues.
"Ah, I feel so refreshed!" Haru exclaimed as she, Kyoko and Bianchi entered the kitchen for breakfast, pausing when they saw how miserable the boys seemed. "Hahi! Is everything alright, Tsuna-san? Why do you all look like you got in a fight with a rhino?"
"If only." To everyone's surprise, it was actually Ryohei who breathed that comment, for once subdued and not at all enjoying the fruits of fighting against a strong opponent. Sure, he obviously liked to win like everyone else, but he seemed to enjoy the rush of battle more than the victory itself.
"I agree," Yamamoto, also sounding very unlike himself, breathed. "A rhino would have just stomped all over us and left us alone. Getting disciplined by Kumo-san feels almost the same as getting bitten to death by Hibari. Is something wrong with me that I'm contemplating which is the lesser of two evils? I feel like that's not something I should be thinking about."
"Please don't, baseball-brain. You might just summon that tonfa freak to take offense to us over something on a Saturday and decide we need to be bitten to death and I'm really not in the mood to try and fight today," Gokudera grumbled, face-down on the table.
Lambo, who was wrapped in bandages from head to toe, an extra swathing over his mouth so he can't speak except for an opening for a spoon so he can drink his miso soup breakfast, was tied to a chair and trying to be as loud as usual, but whoever had mummified him had done a good job. Barely any sound left his mouth, making the morning almost peacefully quiet.
"Ow, my head," Dino moaned, rubbing at a serious bump on his forehead as Romario looked it over and made sure his boss didn't have a concussion or anything more serious than a bruise. "Ugh, I feel worse off than if I had been drinking too much and I can't remember anything after Fuuta started his ranking."
Said boy, who had been miraculously spared last night, looked a bit shaken as he had his breakfast but none the worse for wear, which really couldn't be said for any of the others, who had dressed wounds and vicious looking bruises all over their bodies.
"Honestly, boys, you can't roughhouse it like that," Nana admonished as she placed some food in front of them, greeting the girls and waving them over for breakfast. "You need to be more careful! Eh? Where's Kumo-san? He was here last night and I didn't see him go out."
The boys all stiffened and Reborn smirked, greatly amused. "He woke up early and left to deal with some business. He didn't want to trouble you with breakfast so he took some fruit and hurried off. Said there were some people he needed to ... discipline-" The boys all shuddered in fear and Reborn held back a cackle at their reaction. "That arrived in the wee hours of dawn. He might not make it to dinner."
"Ah, that's a shame," Nana said before turning back to her cooking like nothing of note had happened. Dino's men looked rather unsettled that someone had managed to walk right past them and that they hadn't noticed, since they had spread out in the living room for the night so anyone who was leaving the house would literally have to walk by them.
Reborn had to hide his amusement behind a sip of tea. Ah, he could just imagine what the future is like if Tsuna and his Guardians had moved into the Vongola Mansion in Italy. Even if 'Alaudi Kumo' didn't stay there most of the time, the times he did must be quite interesting.
"So, Dino," the hitman turned to his former student when breakfast was almost done, catching the blond's attention. "What will you be doing today? I heard that the Disciplinary Committee has meetings all day long today, so I doubt bothering Hibari would be a good idea, especially with that bump."
The Cavallone boss sighed, rubbing said bump gently. "Yeah, you're probably right. I'm in no shape to meet up with Kyoya like this. He'd throw me out of the Reception Room window if he realized I came with absolutely no intention to fight him or that I'm in no shape to take his usual forms of 'communication'."
Reborn was of the opinion that the air quotes were a bit too much, but he let Dino have his dramatics. For now. "You should probably wait until Monday then, before you seek him out. So you can actually give him a challenge instead of getting yourself beat up with no chance to fight back."
"Haha, no way! Kyoya would kill me for real if I didn't announce myself before then."
"That's probably true." The others could only watch as the blond sighed in resignation and they wondered how the hell it sounded so fond at the same time. "Well, you should probably go back to your hotel room to rest up. Even though I like Hibari, I know he's not the easiest to deal with."
"Understatement of the century," Tsuna muttered to himself but it was just loud enough for Yamamoto and Gokudera, who were sitting on either side of him, to hear, as well as Reborn who had ridiculously sharp ears. "Then, Dino-san, why don't you drop by for breakfast tomorrow before you go to Hibari-san? Would that be okay, Kaa-san?"
"But of course, Tsu-kun~!" Nana chirped, apparently delighted by the idea. "It would be a pleasure to have you with us for meals every day during your stay, Dino-kun. Please don't be shy. It's always so nice to have a full table."
The blond, of course, found he couldn't say no, not just because of the marvelous food but also because the smile on Nana's face was the type anyone would hesitate to chase away, accidentally or otherwise. When the Cavallone boss agreed to stop by tomorrow early in the morning, Vongola X and his friends all sighed in relief. Dino bid them farewell not long after breakfast, stating he had some things to take care of despite this being his vacation, and as soon as all the Cavallone were gone, the kids ran to Tsuna's room for a war council.
"We need to keep Haneuma busy for as long as we can tomorrow. Reborn-san bought us a day and we could even partially attribute it to Kumo-san, seeing how last night he had dealt us all quite a few injuries, fortunately including Haneuma, but I doubt either of them will be this helpful in the future," Hayato said as soon as everyone was seated. "We need to carefully plan Operation: Haneuma Hot Potato or else we might get disciplined again."
The boys all shuddered at the mere thought, feeling spiked pains of their injuries that they had all but forgotten about until that moment. They were used to injuries at this point, given the crazy lives they lead these days, but that didn't make them any more pleasant.
"Actually," Takeshi piped in with one of his usual smiles, though it looked a bit strained. Might be the split lip, though. "I think the more appropriate name would be Operation: Haneuma Keepaway because hot potato is played by quickly exchanging a ball-"
"Shut up, baseball brain! The rules of the game doesn't matter!" The dynamite obsessed Italian snapped. "What's important is that we keep Haneuma away from Hibari for as long as Kumo-san needs us to. And for that, we need a plan."
"Well, Hibari-senpai is always at school, right?" Kyoko asked, more for confirmation than anything else, and the Namimori Middle School students all nodded. "So the first place we should keep Dino-san away from would be Nami-chuu. Or at least always have someone keeping an eye on him when he's at school. That way, we can control the possibility of him finding Hibari-senpai and steer him away or distract him if he gets too close."
"Way to go, Kyoko-chan!" Tsuna praised and Haru even applauded her friend. The ginger haired girl just smiled.
"Only one problem," Yamamoto said reluctantly. "We all have classes and Hibari patrols the halls every day. We'll get bitten to death if he sees us ditching class."
"I'm not scared of that tonfa freak!" Huffed Gokudera and Tsuna kind of sweat dropped, because only suicidal or utterly ignorant people weren't afraid of Hibari Kyoya.
"Oh, oh! I could do it!" Haru said excitedly, drawing everyone's attention to her. "I don't go to Nami-chuu, so I can call in sick, disguise myself expertly and follow Dino-san around to prevent him from meeting Hibari-san! Leave it all to Haru!"
"Just ... Please don't dress in any strange costumes, Haru. And don't stick out too much. I think Dino-san is the only non-student that Hibari-san lets enter the school without consequences and that's only because Dino-san's willing to fight him each and every time," Tsuna said, but he could see that his words weren't registering at all. He sighed, wondering if Hibari-san will hunt him down and bite him to death because Haru's his friend and it's definitely against school rules for outsiders to visit without prior notice. Hibari-san might even go as far as to inform Haru's school why she's missing classes ... Except Hibari-san only cares about Nami-chuu and it's students, despite claiming all of Namimori as his. Hibari-san will clean the streets, sure, but he probably won't bother with students from other schools not following the rules unless they're 'disrupting the discipline' while ditching classes. Hibari-san sure is a complicated person to understand. He wonders how Reborn and Dino-san seem to be doing it so easily, dealing with Hibari-san.
"Oi! I want to be part of these plans to the EXTREME!" Ryohei yelled, all pumped up, though he didn't move around as much like he usually would with boxing stances and moves. Not even he was impervious to the wounds dealt by Kumo-san. "Haru can have Monday! On Tuesday, I will challenge Haneuma to an EXTREME boxing match!"
'He expects to recover from these wounds by Tuesday!?' All his fellow injured wondered, incredulous, but they didn't voice their skepticism.
"Dino-san uses a whip," Yamamoto reminded - or informed, as they weren't sure at that point if Ryohei had ever actually met the blond mafia boss until last night - the boxer. "I doubt he'd like to try boxing."
"Doesn't he always complain when the tonfa freak manages to strike him in the face?" Gokudera wondered, more to himself even though everyone heard him.
"Well, being hit in the face by a tonfa can't be pleasant," Tsuna said with nervous laughter, just imagining how, sooner or later, that same fate will befall him - befall them all - for the chaos they might have to pull to keep Dino-san away from Hibari-san. He didn't doubt for a second that they're all doomed.
"Especially if it's Hibari wielding said tonfa," Yamamoto said by way of agreement, laughing just as awkwardly. The whole room sweat dropped together as they no doubt came to the same conclusion as Tsuna had moments ago. There was no hope for them. Hibari was going to bite them all to death with extreme prejudice.
Because where anyone associated with Tsuna or Reborn goes, chaos follows and Hibari Kyoya hates the discipline being disrupted.
"I'll start making arrangements for my own funeral," Tsuna said through a waterfall of silent tears, already resigned to his fate.
In that moment, the doors opened and they all whirled around to see who it was, only to freeze at the sight of Alaudi Kumo walking in, Ten Year Bazooka in one hand, a shaking and petrified five year old Lambo in the other. The purple weapon was immediately pointed at the child as Kumo-san dropped him in front of Tsuna and Kumo-san fired before anyone could do anything. As soon as the pink smoke cleared up, teenage Lambo blinked a few times in confusion before freezing like a scared bunny in front of a predator and then promptly falling into a seiza, bowing his head until it touched the floor.
"Report," Kumo-san ordered without any inflation in his voice, quite possibly still pissed from last night, and Lambo quivered but was wise enough to follow the order.
"As you requested, I had my family's scientists, as well as the Vongola allied scientists, look into the device that brought you and the assassins to this time. We had a bit of an unexpected surprise - your younger self made such a mess of the enemy base we almost couldn't recognize the layout and find the lab; was it really a good idea to leave one of the cloud hedgehog boxes for him to find? - and quite a few of the infiltration and recovery team tasted steel, but the operation was a success. Any remaining assassin squads were thoroughly dealt with and all the data on the machine has been forwarded to Giannini-san, Spanner-san and Irie-san as well as the Bovino famiglia's scientists. Fon-san refused to let any of the research go to Verde-san, saying he didn't trust him not to mess up your one way to return home while he experiments, so we might get some delays in answering certain questions as the scientists duke it out or Verde-san causes trouble to get the data. Marshmallow-head and Yuni-chan were also contacted to consult on the matter, so more data is still being reviewed. For now, the only thing we know for certain is that, depending on the amount of flames channeled into the device, the number of people who went through and the number of rings and boxes, your stay in this era can last anywhere from four to seven days. Since the machine was rather messed up from both overcharging from use and from the explosions happening around the base as your younger counterpart dealt with the personnel of the base, it is taking Spanner-san some time to recover the crucial data I've mentioned before. Good news is, at least, that it seems that the machine doesn't need to be intact and up and running for you to return. I've stressed to Spanner-san just how important it is that we receive more precise information about the length of your stay and Irie-san is watching over his progress so he doesn't get distracted by the device itself, so we should have a more precise answer tomorrow. If you can answer any of the questions needed to calculate the length of your stay, it would greatly help us."
"Other than myself and the ten rings - as well as my ring - I brought through with me, I would guess that the others had one ring each, except two who had backup rings. I don't know the number of boxes besides my own - three - but I do know that at least twenty people other than myself went through the device's portal before I could get through. I can't give you more precise numbers. The lab rats will have to work with that." Tsuna and the others sweat dropped, because that was the first time they ever heard of scientists being referred to as 'lab rats' instead of whatever poor soul was their test subject. Though it's quite possible that the 'lab' was a specification and that 'rats' was an outright insult. "What's the situation back at home? Has my absence been noted in the outside world?"
"The Foundation is taking care of it. No one is aware of the fact that you and your ten-years-before counterpart have switched places. Boss is having kittens about your 'reckless actions', though, and we're still having trouble keeping it from Cavallone that you've been involved in what has been dubbed as the 'biggest famiglia massacre since Daemon's time', which is actually quite impressive. No matter the age or era, Kumo-sama is still Kumo-sama. Your younger counterpart seems rather fond of Roll. To be expected of Kumo-sama, though Boss would appreciate it if he stopped testing out the Box's capabilities within the HQ. It is not the Foundation's HQ, after all. We don't exactly have the necessary training room equipped for holding up to such Cloud propagation abilities. Also, you should probably know that he managed to get Roll Flame drunk this morning. It was a disaster. Octopushead might try to make you pay for it."
"Send the bill to Bucking Horse, since I'm doing this because of him," Kumo-san replied casually, waving the matter off and the teenagers, including teen Lambo, all sweat dropped. Lambo even looked like he was expecting that answer. "Also, preferably keep Fon away from younger me. That's bound to be unnecessarily messy, if I remember my own teenage temperament well."
Lambo drooped a bit. "Well, that is ... Impossible already, Kumo-sama. Fon-san was the first one on sight after we heard about the decimation of the enemy base. It's quite possible their reunion caused some of the damage that made even the foundations look unrecognizable."
"Tch."
"This one apologizes, Kumo-sama," Lambo said in a panicked rush, bowing so his forehead slammed against the floor. The Vongola Tenth Generation all winced. Even Haru, who wasn't fond of older Lambo, joined in on the sympathy. "Though I must say they seemed to be doing rather well this morning. Well, before the Roll incident. Other than that, things are going smoothly. Like I've already said, no one but the Family and our allies know that you're here or that your younger counterpart is in our time. Pineapplehead and Kiri-chan are doing an undercover investigation as to where the higher ups of the enemy are hiding while the Varia are out destroying the other known enemy bases."
"Wao, they're stupid enough to steal my prey? I'll deal with them when I return." There was a very scary glint in those gray eyes that made Tsuna want to hide under his bed and never come out again. Surely it wasn't cowardly to try and hide away from someone who so casually referred to 'dealing' with the Varia of all people! "But that aside, here is my report." The dark haired man casually pulled out a bundle of papers lit with a seal made of purple Dying Will Flames like how Vongola Nono had sealed his orders to make them legit. Lambo scrambled to take the papers when Kumo-san extended them to the teenager from the future. "Hand it only to Sawada Tsunayoshi. He knows who else needs to get a copy. Also tell Tetsu not to lose my younger counterpart from his sight. Bucking Horse gravitates to any version of me like a magnet. I won't forgive anyone who messes up this plan."
Lambo only had the time to squeak out an understanding before the time was up and a pink smokescreen enveloped him, leaving in its wake the baby Lambo, who blinked up at them in confusion. Kumo-san didn't acknowledge anyone as he simply turned around and swept out of the room.
Everyone was quiet for a while before Lambo started complaining about being hungry.