Author's Note: Just a short little one-shot. I know, I've been gone for years. But here I am... Still loving JJ/Hotch.
This may turn into a two-shot to have some Hotch's Point of View in the second part, including his night before he met up with her, and possibly a bit beyond where this story ends (like the next morning). Let me know if you'd be interested?
Her heart hammered nervously as she applied her mascara with deceivingly steady hands. It had been a long time since JJ had been with a man, and she felt like tonight was the night. It had been a long time since her and Will had separated. Though they were still amicable, the awkwardness of him picking up Henry that night still stuck with her. She went with a simple black dress stopping just above her knees, and some silver heels. Her earrings and necklace matched the heels in colour, and it made her feel good. She felt nice. She felt pretty. That was something she had not felt in a long time. She gave herself a quit spray with her perfume and began walking to the door.
She pulled out her phone and began to type. I'm on my way to the restaurant. I can't wait to see you!
She was going out with Trevor. They'd been out twice before. He was attractive. Taller than her, with dark brown eyes. She had only thus far seen his muscles through his shirt, but she looked forward to seeing more. Perhaps tonight was the night. Last time, she'd finally had the uncomfortable conversation about having a son with him, and he had responded wonderfully. He had even arranged another date, talking about how he loved kids. It had drawn her attraction to him all the more. Though her son always came first, she would be lying if she didn't admit that she had been relieved it wasn't a deal breaker for the man.
They'd met at a bar, and with some much needed coaxing from Penelope and Emily, she had struck up a conversation with the man.
Will had left, mostly because he felt she wasn't committed. He brought up her refusal to tell her team, and her reluctance to share their lives with them. In fact, he'd accused her of something ridiculous... But in the end, she knew he had a point and that it was for the best. They had been staying together for Henry, and her feelings had long since died down and anything she had felt was mostly out of habit.
Though there were not yet butterflies with Trevor, the way she hoped to experience, she imagined they would come in time. What she knew was that he made her feel good, and she enjoyed his company. She was a bit nervous about the prospect of having their first night together, but she imagined she might feel the way with anyone else. There was definite potential there.
It was surprising to her that she was the first one at the restaurant. Tonight Trevor had decided they were going to a sushi restaurant. It was a lot fancier than she'd expected because she normally stopped at the sushi bar, but this was different. The colour scheme involved bold reds, blacks, and a bit of gold. The waitress sat her at their table, and she waited. While she liked eating sushi, the types of sushi were a mystery to her and she was waiting for Trevor to suggest what was good. This left her to sip on her water, and check her phone.
Her messages to Garcia got a little more anxious as the minutes went on. It wasn't like him to be late. Had something happened to him? Was there an accident? Did she got to the wrong place? JJ double checked the restaurant name and made sure there weren't two, like some sort of restaurant chain. Garcia assured her that there were no accidents that could be Trevor.
The reality began to set in. Rather than tell her the truth, Trevor had pretended to be okay with the child thing. That was the only reasoning she could come up with for being stood up. Unless it was something else she said? Or did? It wasn't like her to feel so insecure, but being stood up and awkwardly sitting at a restaurant waiting for someone could make one feel that way. Especially when she saw the staff shaking their head sympathetically while also subtly suggesting it may be time to leave. She was embarrassed. She was a profiler. She worked for the FBI. And here she was, stood up at a restaurant ready to burst into tears at the sheer humiliation.
"Are you okay?" a familiar voice asked her.
She jumped slightly, not expecting it. She had been so wrapped up in her own anxieties and thoughts, she had not noticed Hotch sit down across from her.
"I'm... What are you doing here?" She was so confused. This felt like a weird dream.
"Garcia messaged me," he said opening a menu. "I really quite like unagi."
JJ couldn't find the words, and stared at him. A little bit dumbfounded.
"How about we get the dinner for two with an extra side of unagi?"
"That... sounds good?" she said hesitantly, still trying to wrap her head around this change of events.
"Excuse me, miss?" Hotch said, getting the attention of the waitress near by. "Can we please put in an order for the 'dinner for two' with a side of unagi, and can we get that to go?"
"Absolutely, sir."
"To go?" JJ asked as the waitress walked away.
"To go," he said. "You are seeming a bit overwhelmed, which is understandable given how you must be feeling tonight. We can go eat wherever you would like."
She nodded, still feeling unsure. "Why are you here?"
"Garcia told me it was important that I get my, and I am quoting word for word, stubborn ass to this restaurant stat to be here with you."
JJ's face flushed. Garcia had made the same accusation that Will had made before he left her. Garcia was utterly convinced that JJ had feelings for Hotch, as had been Will. She didn't see it. Yet, her heart hammered nervously in her chest as her eyes looking him up and down. Was it a barrier she put up? He was her boss after all. She refused to entertain those thoughts.
"Typical Garcia, but why wouldn't she just come herself?" JJ asked, feeling her mouth get very dry. Why would Hotch come? That was awkward, embarrassing... Sure, they had a friendship outside of work but at the end of the day, he was still her boss. He should not be the one here offering comfort for being stood up.
"Probably because she knows of my feelings for you." He had said it so nonchalantly, it took JJ a full minute to comprehend what he'd said.
"Your feelings? I know you care about me, and I appreciate that -"
"My feelings. It never seemed appropriate to bring them up. I would never want you to feel obligated to do anything or say anything just because I am your boss. I also often wondered if it was too soon after Will. However, now that you are dating someone who clearly does not deserve you, I thought it might be time for me to say something."
It wasn't often it could be said, but JJ was speechless. He didn't say anything. He just waited. Now it really felt like her heart was in her throat. She could feel her face flushing red. Her cheeks felt so warm, it was almost as if she was about to burst into flames right there. Feelings? Of course she had feelings for him. She could feel it in her chest. All the feelings she'd long buried because she was loyal to Will, because he was her boss, because he had lost his wife, because... she was terrified he could never feel the same way.
"I don't know what to say," she said softly. "I-" Her head was full of wonders, anxieties, confusion. Was this real?
"You don't have to say anything right now. I don't want to pressure you. I know that you were expecting to be here with someone else, and not your boss of many years. You are under no obligation to say anything. You are under no obligation to do anything. If you'd like to go back to my place, we can sit down and eat. We can talk about things. We don't have to decide anything tonight. You can go home right after. Hell, if it's what you want, you can take half of the sushi and go eat it on your own."
She watched him intently. He looked so sincere, and it just made her feelings bubble even more. He was so genuine, caring and sweet. He understood the demands of her job, and she his. It could either be the perfect thing, or the worst.
"I'd like to go back to your place, eat and then not talk at all," she said, wondering if he'd get the hint.
"That is also an option," he said. Though, he sounded a little shocked. She imagined that it was not the direction he expected things to go. He had probably thought maybe they might discuss the possibility of spending more time together, perhaps what their feelings were. He would not have expected her to suggest something else entirely. She smiled slightly. The surprise on his face was enough to make her feel goosebumps in excitement.
She looked at him, and watched his eyes meet hers. Those beautiful dark eyes. Someone she already trusted. The thoughts of what might take place tonight...
She felt them, instantly. There was no 'potential' for stronger feelings. No possibility. It was certain. She looked at him, and she felt butterflies.