Some people simply have it easy and they pretty much have their entire life already mapped for them and have people who help them accomplish that goal that was set when they were kids. She was not one of them. Seventeen yearsold Gail knew her path in life would not be easy. She knew that for some reason things others find easy, she faces with a lot of difficulties. She was raised in the family that was Toronto police royalty and everyone knew who Peck family is. That name was often a burden. She had to attend a lot of functions with her parents. Her mother paraded their family around those parties and they were often in some magazines portrayed as perfect family, but Gail knew they were far from it. They were not as perfect as her mother wanted the others to see them. In those articles and functions, Gail felt the story of the Peck family was so fake. She was always in perfect outfits, with perfect hair and makeup giving perfect smiles. Some of the kids at school made fun of her calling her supermodel Peck. She hated it, but she also knew there was nothing she could do to stop her mother's ambition and wish to turn their family into one more Peck weapon to gain the approval of the public. She was sure that at some point her mother would be gunning either for position of Chief of Police or mayor's office. That is why her mother was parading them. Gail had to put up with boring questions and family members of the guests at the parties they attended or hosted because it was important for her mother's career to keep them all happy and to let them suck up to her. Peck family was always very dedicated at preserving their name and reputation, even when they are doing something wrong.
Only time when she felt like herself was when she was with James. He was a boy next door, straight A student and someone who had future in pretty much anything he wanted. He was in many ways Gail's opposite and many were confused how they got together. James was skinny, quiet, nerdy boy with glasses, beautiful olive skin and brown eyes that had some sadness in them. James moved across the street when he was eleven and Gail was ten years old. He was the same age as Steve, so the families believed boys would build a friendship but to their surprise, instead of James and Steve gravitating toward one another, James and Gail did. She was not very social as a child…and even as teenager, but somehow two of them clicked pretty fast. They started dating when Gail was fifteen and James was a bit over sixteen. A bit over two years, they were happy, in love and Gail felt like someone finally saw her for who she was.
James was only person who knew her secrets and he never did anything to betray her trust. It took some time to tell him things that were on her mind or what bothered her, but she got there. Their conversations, at the very beginning, usually happened after some argument she had with Steve that extended to the argument with Steve and her mother. Mama Peck was very protective of Steve and it was clear from the early age that he was her favorite and the one she had all the hopes and dreams for. Early on, Gail was bothered by how her mother behaved and favorited her brother, but later she just ignored them both. She avoided conflict with her brother and mom, but when it happened, it was bad. After those fights, she would end up cuddled up to James in his room or ''their'' place at the park, telling him what happened. He would then hold her and tell her that she is amazing and that it's her family's loss that they choose to see only Steve. He would kiss the top of her nose and she would smile at him feeling better and validated.
On the other hand, James kept a lot to himself. She had no idea how many of things James was hiding from her and what were they. She just sensed that something was bothering him and that he was battling it alone. She watched him sleep and she would stroke his face trying to imagine what was on his mind and what was he thinking of He didn't talk much about himself, his family and life before they moved to Toronto and across from Gail. When she asked him something, his answers were very vague or he would try to change the subject. She didn't want to push him. She knew how much she valued privacy and a chance to tell some things on her own terms. She believed she owed him the same. All that secrecy aside, she loved him and he loved her back. Her mind was going million directions about what he could have been hiding from her, but it never went to the place where she believed he could have been cheating or having feelings for someone else. In fact, his love was only thing she was sure about at that point. He made her feel wanted, loved, special and most of all made her feel safe.
He made her laugh, teased her in a very cute ways. They had some banter here and there and she loved to annoy him. She knew he loved how she could be pain in the ass and often he let her ''win'' the arguments. She loved how he understood her and knew what she was thinking without too much explaining. She loved that he didn't try to fix her, but he just listened and just loved her so much… but not enough to tell her what was bothering him.
Her mother was pretty sure he was gay and was very surprised when she learned two of them were dating and that Gail was not his ''beard''. She saw the adoration that boy had for her daughter and part of her was glad someone loved Gail as much as James did, but other part of her believed something was ''wrong'' with that boy but she couldn't pin it.
Since they started dating, Gail got better grades, she was not skipping school and she even joined some extracurricular activities at school. James joined track and Gail choose to do it too. Finally her police training with the parents was paying off. She could run for miles without getting tired and she was also pretty good in short distance races. Their PE teacher was surprised and glad Gail joined. When it came to studying, James was her saving grace. He was patient with Gail and always found a way to interest her in the school work. Gail was very smart, but also very lazy and not really interested in school and subjects she had to take… Maybe she just loved English, French , AP phycology and world history, the rest was boring to her. That is when James would come to save the day. He would study with her all the science things and explain them to her better than any of the teachers did. Mrs. Peck would sometimes watch them study and she believed that poor James often deserved a medal after his work with Gail. She was sure she would have straggled her ten times at least during that session, but James was very patient, very calm and he was finding some crazy and creative ways to explain things to Gail. He never raised his voice or called her stupid during the time they were together.
Gail was very proud of him when she learned he would be valedictorian speaker at his graduation. He got offered many scholarships and she had no idea what he would choose. He got accepted to St James medical school in Montreal and he choose to go there. She was happy for him. He got accepted into school of his dreams. He did speak of it few times and she knew that he would pick to go there. She was sad he was not staying in Toronto, but she also didn't want to be in the way of his dreams. She knew he would be some bad ass doctor that would get a lot of awards for some innovative procedures and would work hard to accomplish all that he wants.
James parents went to dinner with some friends and they were at his house alone. They took advantage of that and made love. Gail was taking a nap on his chest and he was playing with her hair. James was the only person she ever let touches her hair. She was surprised when he pulled her closer and just held her very tight.
''Are you ok J?''
''I will miss you when I leave.''
She would miss him too…She couldn't imagine James not being just across the street from her. She couldn't imagine not seeing him in his room through their windows. There was so much history there and she was not ready to let go…but she knew she had to...at least for some time.
''You will go there now and I will follow you in a year…''
''Gail, a lot can change in a year…''
''But not us.''
She kissed him and placed her head back to his bare chest.
'' I love you, you love me and we will be fine…''
James was not so sure about it. He has made up his mind about more than just college choice and that is why he was going to Montreal. He held Gail very tight and closed his eyes. He was sure that Gail would stop loving him if she knew the real truth about why he was leaving. He wanted to tell her, but he couldn't say the words out loud.
''You don't know that Gail… People change…Feelings change… You will forget about me and fall for someone else.''
''I do know James…''
She was a bit insulted. She gave him one of her icy glares that was usually reserved for her brother and other morons in the surrounding.
''Is that what you think of me? You think I would just forget you as soon as you leave?''
''I am sure you will not love me in a year Gail…''
''I will…''
''No, you will not. You will find a better person for yourself and go on with your life. You don't need me to fuck up things for you…''
''Are you braking up with me?''
''Yes, I am sorry, but it's for the best. I am off to school and I don't' have any intention of coming back to this place.''
''What?''
''In a few weeks I will be free of my parents and… ''
He stopped before he said too much.
''Forget about me Gail. Move on… I know I have every intention of moving on…''
Gail got dressed and just run out of the house. Her parents didn't even bother to ask her what happened. They were too busy getting ready to go and have dinner with mayor and his wife. Gail spent days in her room, just sitting at her window and watching James' room. He would see her and would stand for a moment with the same sad face as she had and then he would pull the curtains or lower the blinds.
A week after graduation, he packed his bag and never looked back. Gail was really heart broken and sad and it was the moment when she shut down and started being closed off and distant. Sometimes, when she saw his parents, she would try to ask them about James. If it happened in their house, her mother would just give her a look and tell her that she should let go of the boy and stop acting like little girl. They would change the subject and anything related to James was never mentioned during those meetings. One day she saw them in front of the store they usually went and took her chance to ask about James. Now, her mother was not there and she believed she would get some answers. His father looked angry and like he didn't want to talk about his son…
''I tried calling James, bit his phone is disconnected. Is he ok? Please just tell me how is he?''
Before his mom said anything, dad spoke. He looked so angry and Gail was surprised by the way he looked at her.
''He is dead… Our son is dead!''
''What? How did he die? When?''
She noticed that James' mother was looking at her feet and that she was not comfortable with this conversation. His father took over.
''Gail, you are a nice kid. Let it go… Forget about him!''
''How can I forget about him? What happened to him? How did he die?''
Before James' mom said anything, his dad spoke. He looked very angry and disgusted.
''Like deviant faggot he is!''
Gail couldn't believe what she heard.
''What?''
His mom spoke.
''Our son was disturbed young man. Forget about him before he shames you too.''
''Shames me? Disturbed?''
''Yes, turns out your perfect James was a sissy and a faggot.''
''He was gay? How?''
James' mom looked at her with pained expression.
''I am done talking about him and you should forget him too. You are a good young lady from a good family. A lot of boys will be happy to know you are back on the market. Forget about our son. It's best for everyone.''
With that they left her at the parking lot and went to their car. Gail was playing the film of their relationship in her head and fought the words his dad put into her mind. He couldn't be… He was not… Their love was real…And that broke her even more. Gal spent days crying her eyes out. She was so sad and broken by the news of his death.
After James, she didn't date much, but she slept around. Mama Peck was not happy about it, but there was not much she could do. She forced Gail to some blind dates with sons of some police officials, but after some time she gave up. She realized that it's better for her career to stop organizing those dates, because she heard that Gail treated those boys horribly and she didn't want to jeopardize her career over Gail's spite. Bill Peck had some more understanding for Gail and he tried to approach her and talk to her about what was bothering her. He tried to assure her that he loves her and that he is there for her, but Gail never opened up to him.
By the end high school she started dating one of the new boys that came few weeks after the year started. His name was Nick and vibe Gail got from him was that he was equally fucked up as she was. That got them together. Her parents didn't like him, but they tolerated him since he was the first person since James that stuck around for more than just sex. Little did they know that Gail's and Nick's relationship was mainly based on sex and they stayed together because it was easier than being alone. Gail found it easier to be with him than to be alone. She didn't let herself get attached to him. She made promise to herself that she will not repeat the mistake she made with James. Never again she would love someone and let herself get attached. After she graduated, she got into huge argument with her mom and ended up in the car with Nick on the way to Vegas ready to marry him. As it usually happened with two of them, it ended in ''disaster''. They had a fight and the following morning Gail woke up alone in the room and Nick's stuff was gone. She got into the academy and due to her mother's constant harassing; she ended it as a top rookie. She got all the awards and all the merits she could, but she still was the same broken girl James loved and left even more broken and alone. She was not liked at the academy. Many believed she got good grades and awards because she was a Peck and not because she worked hard or deserved it in any way. She was sick and tired of those stories but she never bothered to defend herself. With few rookies from her generation, she ended up working at the 15th Division where her brother was a detective and her mother had a lot of influence. That was one more way for Elain to interfere in her life.
She moved out of the house and started living with two of her fellow officers. It was fun to live with them and she had fun not being under her mother's constant watch. She still tried to control her and have her under the watch of the people who worked under her, but that only provided her with the info about the work, not about her life out of the 15th. Mama Peck would show up out of nowhere once in a blue moon and ask too many questions about things Gail didn't want to talk about. Also, Gail would once in three months go to the Peck house to have Sunday lunch or dinner with the family. Often Steve would show up with some girl and mama Peck was impressed with them. Gail knew she picked them herself so she was sure her mom was actually proud of herself and the perfect match she made. Mama Peck still didn't give up hope to set Gail up with some suitable young boy. Gail would always make some remark that would get her mother's skin crawl and she would give up the idea of setting her up. She wanted Gail to date, but she was not ready to give up her career for her.
After few weeks of living with the boys, she and Chris started sleeping together. First few months it was very casual and they were both free to see other people. At first they did, but later on, they became somewhat exclusive. They were actually dating, but Chris was smart enough never to call her his girlfriend. He knew she would run for the hills if he ever said that word. Their ''thing'' lasted for about a year and then it ended. Gail felt he was getting too attached and she believed he was close enough to tell her he loved her and ask her to be his girlfriend. She was not ready for it. She was burned by being a girlfriend in the past and so now she knew to keep away from those who wanted something serious from her. After their breakup, things were a bit weird and tense, but Chris was a good guy who didn't hold grudges. He made sure Gail was ok and prevented their friends from the division to speak bad about her. She was surprised how he defended her in front of them. She overheard some arguments he had with Andy and Dov where they spoke bad about Gail and he shut them up. He didn't let them trash Gail and call her ice queen or ice bitch.
''She has her reasons for why she is like that. I may not know them, but I am sure she has them.''
''Come on! I live with her too… She is ice cold… She doesn't do feelings… Hell, I am not even sure if she is capable of having any feelings…for anyone…''
Andy agreed with Dov.
''That is enough! We don't know so many things about her… And after hearing this, I am not surprised. She has no reason to open up if you act like this.''
Gail heard Chris coming, so she hid. He left the locker room and walked past he without seeing her. From that day, Dov and Andy were on her shit list…again. She found the way to make their lives hell without them knowing it was her. She altered their reports so they would have spelling mistakes, she switched some of Dov's food with the same brand that has expired just a day or two. She enjoyed her petty victories when Sgt. Best called them in the office to tell them to make sure they check their writing before they submit the report or watching Dov rush to the bathroom for the millionth time during the day.
Huge change happened few weeks after she and Chris ended things. Nick showed up at their division as the new police officer. After doing amazing on his tur in Afghanistan, he passed the academy with flying colors and higher-ups believed it's good to have someone who is one of the best snipers in the unit. He would come handy if the SWAT was busy or something. Gail froze when she saw him. She didn't expect to see him ever again after the Vegas fiasco. He was not that surprised to see her, but he was terrified of what she might do to him. Gail, being her charming self, kneed him in the groin and continued walking. Other officers were not expecting what they saw and after seeing what Gail did, rumor mill and guessing started. Andy simply had to know what was that all about. After their shift, she invited Nick to the Penny and told him that now, since he is part of the division, he has to have at least one drink with them. He said yes, but he was also pretty sure they wanted to know about events that took place after the parade. After that night at the Penny, everyone knew their history. Nick and Gail were partnered few times before they somehow managed to act normal around one another. It took them about three months to go back to their usual routine. At least, the sex was good. Their little romance lasted for almost a year.
As soon as she became a homicide detective, she moved out from the place she lived with the boys and got her own apartment. It was nice, two bedroom place and she loved it. It was quiet and it gave her all the privacy she didn't have in years. Chris and Dove were good boys, but living alone was what she wanted. It was nice to always have hot water and not sharing the bathroom with two men and their ''guests''. At the beginning, Nick would come often and it was not unexpected for him to spend a night. She didn't complain, but she was not always in the mood. She finally had her own space and privacy to let anyone invade it as they wanted. They had a pretty bad argument about his coming to her place as he wants and the fact that he used her spare key without reason got Nick to leave the place in the middle of the night after very heated argument. She was not really surprised when she saw his chair empty at the parade. She knew it was just a matter of time before he left her again. Few days later, she realized that he was undercover with McNally and that he didn't really leave. She and Sam were both in the dark when it came to Nick and Andy and how their assignment came to be. They got a bit drunk at the Penny and Sam told her that they broke up the night before they left. Gail raised her glass and pointed it at Sam.
''To us being single!''
''Are you ok with all this Peck?''
''Oh, I'm peachy.''
''If you want to talk…''
''No…I'm fine. Soldier boy and Snowflake can have all the fun they want.''
In the first month of being a detective, Gail closed two cases and she was pleased with herself. She saw it as a huge success, but her mother found a way to make her work look worthless and she had some words for her. She was not surprised she was not good enough in her eyes. She also took the chance to tell her that it was time for her to move on from Nick and find someone else. Her friends and her mom were trying to set her up for dates with different people and it usually didn't work out that well. It often happened that in the middle of the dinner she had to go to the scene and not many man like to talk about murder cases over dinner. Some of them didn't mind her job and they got to the second date, but things didn't move on from there. Some of them were nice guys but there was no chemistry between them.
It happened a few times, that she came back from the date on a bootie call and got out James' picture from the DON'T OPEN EVER BOX and she would spend hours staring at it or some other of their pictures. She couldn't stop looking at their smiles and the happiness that radiated from those now, twelve years later, she still had moments when she thought about him. She wondered what would have happened if he stayed alive. Would have he come back for her and taken her away from her mother's paws? Or was he really right that her life would be better without him if she really let him go? He was right about one thing, she was made for big things and she will not be a failure. And she kept her promise not to give up on herself and make a name in the police force. He teased that she will become chief of the police just to spite mama Peck and outrank her. She would roll her eyes at him or have some vicious words for him after he would say that. But they both knew that she did think about it few times after he teased her and that it would be the path she would take as a sweet revenge to her family for all the crap she had to live through.
It was late February when she got called in at six in the morning for the case. Body of a prostitute was found and it was mutilated pretty badly. Officers and Gail waited for someone from forensic to come before they took over the crime scene. There were some changes in the forensic department and they had no idea who would be joining them. Dr. Luis retired and she heard they got a woman to replace him. She didn't have any dirt on the new doctor since at the time no one has worked with her. She just heard she is hot brunet and a huge nerd.
While Gail was talking to the man who found the body, pathologist came. It was a woman she didn't know. She had long dark hair, glasses and beautiful dark eyes. She was somehow familiar to Gail. She felt something in the pit of her stomach when doctor came.
''I am detective Peck, this is detective Swarek and Officer Monroe and the body are over there… We made sure no one touches anything around the body or body itself before you and the forensic team are done.''
Woman looked surprised to see her and like she didn't hear at all what Gail was saying…
''Holly… I mean… Dr. Stewart…''
She escorted doctor to the body.
''What can you tell me before I see the body?''
''Oh, the victim was a prostitute. By the story of the homeless man who found her, that was her corner and she was regular for years. He said she had no problems with other girls and that she sometimes bought him or some other homeless man food.''
Holly saw a body covered with a white sheet and she got her gloves out.
''Ok, let's see…''
Holly bent under the tape and came to the body. She lifted the sheet and got her recorder out.
Gail has never worked with the pathologist that records visit to the scene and details about the body and all they see. She liked the attention to details Dr. Stewart had.
''Victim is African- American biological male, in his thirties and body is covered with bruises and cuts. COD can't be determined at the moment, must wait for the autopsy… Nails are broken, possible fight… They were not victim's nails. There are small cuts on the arms, could be from the fight and there is some tissue under the nails… Time of death….''
She measured liver temperature and looked at Gail…
''She died between 2 and 4 AM…''
Holly got off the floor and started packing. Gail was looking at her in awe.
''Can I help you detective?''
''No… No…''
Holly's team packed the body and she went to the morgue.
''Detective, is someone going to come to the mourge with me or do you want me to give you a call after the preliminary autopsy?''
''No, Dr. Stewart. I will be joining you as soon as we wrap things around here. Is that ok with you or you don't like cops in your lab?''
'' I am fine with it if you are. But let me tell you. I had my share of officers and detectives fainting at the sight of blood or postmortem exams.''
''You don't have to worry about me. Unfortunately, I am very used to the sight of blood and bodies in many states of decpomp.''
''Then, it will be my pleasure to have you there.''
With that Dr. Stewart left the scene and Sam smirked.
''What?!''
''You were flirting with the doc over the bodies…''
''I was not!''
''Peck, I know what I saw. You like her.''
''I was just trying to be friendly…''
Sam just gave her a look and she flipped him.
''And just so you know, I am not into girls.''
''There is plenty of time to retract that statement Peck.''
''I am going to the station and then to the lab…and you stop being a dick.''
Holly got to her office and left her things in. She opened the file for the new case and got into it what she knew so far. Her recording helped with first impression she got on the scene and she knew what were the things she should be looking for during her examination and tox screen. She started working on the victim as soon as she made a list of things she wanted to look for. Gail came to find her few hours later. She found Holly bent over the body and checking every detail on the body.
''Hey, do you have something…''
''I am waiting on DNA. Victim had a lot of surgery and no ID. I have finger print card for you. Maybe your base has something before I get the DNA.''
Holly noticed that Gail was nervous and wanted to ask something.
''Yes detective? I don't believe in stupid questions, so ask what you want to know. Maybe it would be something helpful for the case.''
''How did you know it was a man? We all saw a woman.''
Holly smiled…
''Adam's apple…It's not that visible, but it's there.''
''What?''
''Put on the pair of gloves.''
Gail did what she was told and Holly told her to approach her. Holly took off her gloves and took a fresh pair. She took Gail's hand and got Gail to touch her own neck…
''You feel the texture of your neck?''
''Yes…''
''Now, touch the victim's.''
Gail let Holly guide her hand and she touched very small Adam's apple…
''Wow! It's barely there…''
''Some people don't have it that visible. It could be very small….''
''I didn't know any of that…''
Holly continued giving her report about the body. She pointed out that the victim had breast implants, but didn't have genital surgery.
''I can't tell you if she was in the process of gender reassignment surgery, but I can tell you that she did have breast implants done, a lot of work on her face and she made sure she is unrecognizable.''
''Was he…she hiding from someone or trying to look more…feminine?''
Holly found it somewhat cute that Gail was struggling with terminology and trying to understand the victim.
''It's not easy to know. People change appearance for many reasons. Maybe the identity of the victim would tell us more. If he pops up in you base as someone involved in serious crime, alteration of appearance might me the motive fro surgery. But also all this surgery is a pretty standard for someone who is in transition.''
''Maybe some family member could help with that?''
Holly was silent for a moment. It looked to Gail as she was measuring her words.
''Detective, don't be surprised if family doesn't know much or doesn't talk about her… There are people who have support and love of the family and there are people who must do it alone… And very often their family talks about them like they were dead… And in many ways they are dead to the family. So, be prepared to get nothing from the family.''
Gail was looking at the body and then back at Holly.
''I am not really surprised by what you said. There are a lot of parents who didn't deserve their kids and have no idea how they fucked them up. Is it weird that part of me wishes this was a different story? Part of me wishes she had family who cared.''
''Detective, sometimes you are born in the shitty family, but build one that matters. You may not be related by blood but those people are your family. I am sure there must me someone who could tell us something.''
Gail composed herself a bit. ''Do you know when you would have all the results?''
''I am not sure when. I think most realistic time is tomorrow…''
''Ok… See you tomorrow then… In case you learn something…''
''I'll call your station and tell them to connect me to you.''
Gail took off the gloves and threw them away. She was heading towards the door when she remembered something.
''My card… In case you get some idea where to go…and ask questions.''
''I'll call you when I have something.''
Holly spend almost entire day working on the body and what she found. There were many samples to label and send to the lab. She worked on it all with a very unpleasant feeling in the stomach. One of the interns came to her office with two folders.
''Dr. Stewart, your DNA results for the murder in the ally are back.''
''Thank you Dr. Handel.''
She opened the folder and started reading. They had a name…dead name, but it was a start. Now they knew where to start from. She also got some preliminary tox report and she picked up her phone to call Gail.
''Detective, it's Dr. Stewart. We have something. Do you want to do this over the phone or you want to meet?''
''Sure, my shift ended hours ago. I was following some leads. I can be in your office soon…''
'' I will be waiting for you.''
''See you soon doctor.''
Gail showed up and found Holly at her desk looking at some papers intern brought her.
''I'm here…''
''Oh, take a seat…''
As soon as Gail took her seat, Holly started with explaining her findings.
'' DNA results say victim's name is Peter Carl. Thirty years old and he was taking hormones. He has injection marks on his belly. My guess is that his last shot was two days ago. It was a low dosage, so I am not sure if he was really in the process for the gender reassignment or just trying to keep feminine features and his penis. ''
''Doctor, this is new to me, can you tell me why he didn't want to get rid of ''it'' if he wanted to be a woman?''
''Hm… I have no idea. Maybe at the moment he didn't have money. Again, you have inside the community people who don't want to change their genitals. Some even end up with the trans* person of the opposite sex and have biological family with them…''
''I didn't know that…''
''It happens, but back to question about surgery… It's very expensive thing. Bills can pile up to couple tens of thousands. And someone who is working the streets can't do it all at once…''
''Like in one procedure?''
''No, detective… It is not just one surgery. Process of gender reassignment or gender conformation surgeries as some call it, is a long process and it's usually followed by some smaller surgeries, hormone therapies and psychiatrists that monitor the mental part of the process. ''
''Can you explain? I want to know how it looks like and not fill in the blanks myself.''
''Ok… It usually starts with psychiatrists that confirms your gender dysphoria and endocrinologists giving the right hormone therapy based on the levels you already have in your body. Body starts changing in matter of weeks after you start hormones. If we are talking about MTF, their skin becomes softer, they become less hairy. Lines of the face became softer and they get more feminine then they were before the hormones. Don't get me wrong. Those changes are important, but they are just the start of it all. Some people have enough money to help the change with plastic surgery to gain more feminine look. Cheek fillers, eye lifts, bigger or just fuller lips.…breast implants. ''
''Do they have to do it?''
''Not really. Some do pretty well just on hormones. It's usually matter of self-perception and when do you start transition.''
''What does that mean?''
''There are some kids who skip puberty of the sex they are assigned at birth by using hormone blockers. They are slowly introduced dosages of the hormones for the gender they identify with. For example, if you have biological girl that identifies as a boy, she will start getting testosterone and her estrogen levels would be kept low or blocked. Same goes for biological boys. Testosterone would be blocked and they would get estrogen. When you have patients starting their transition that early, that could cause some complications when it comes to the genital surgery, but on the other hand, it could be helpful for the presentation of the gender they identify as. To many MTF patients male puberty is a problem because some of them get very masculine body and their transition is not easy. Not just because of what people say, but also because they often see themselves as men in the mirror and don't feel feminine enough. Those feelings can lead to a lot of self-destructive behavior… But we will revisit that.''
Gail nodded for Holy to keep talking.
'' Back to the physical changes… After some time on hormones, it's time to decide if you are taking the next step and that is a final step… genital surgery. There are many members of the trans community that don't want to change their genitals. Some don't do it because it's very painful surgery and if it's done wrong, it can cause a lot of complications. Some simply are happy with the genital situation and they don't think that they make them more or less men or women. And there is also very specific category and that is homeless Trans people. Some of them are working the streets and keeping the genitals intact because their clients prefer it that way. If you talk to some officers from vice you will be surprised by how many of the girls they pick up are actually women with ….you know… Maybe they know something about the victim. It is possible she was picked up. They might know the street name or maybe something more about her.''
Gail listened and took notes of the things she found interesting.
'' Our victim barely gathered money for the implants, since they are the most recent and not very good quality.''
Holly showed her picture of the scars where implants were put inside.
''Also, I highly doubt it was done at any clinic that is specialized in breast surgeries. My guess is some pretty underground place with implants that are meant to be destroyed. Surgery is recent, but the model of the implants is very old.''
''Shit! I have no idea about any of this. I feel like you are schooling me doctor.''
''That is my job detective. I am sure I would suck at your job…''
''What else?''
''Hm… On the outside, some of the cuts and bruises you saw were from a previous day. Not all of them were created last night. My guess is that maybe the homeless guy didn't see the fight that took place. Also, there is always possibility of a violent John…and the last set of cuts and bruises was created by the killer. She died from hitting her head on something. By the height of the body plus the heels she was wearing… My guess is she hit it on the dumpster in the ally she was found in. If the killer was stronger than her and pushing her from the front. It could have happened. Victim has a lot of broken bones that healed the wrong way. It was nothing visible on the surface but I would dare to say she was abused in the past…and it was something that lasted for years… Oh, and piece of the hair is missing.''
''Hair?''
''Someone ripped her hair piece…''
''Oh, that's weird… Like trophy? ''
''I didn't find it in the evidence. I went through everything and there was no bag with hair that would match what was missing.''
''Who would do something like that?!''
''I don't know. That is something for forensic psychologist or psychiatrist, not pathologist…''
''Can you make a guess?''
''I don't guess, I am scientist…''
Gail smiled at doctor. That thing she said reminded her of James.
'' The blood work showed the high concentration of Oxycodone.''
''Was he taking it for the pain or using it as drug?''
''All is possible. There are some traces of cracked ribs…It was pretty recent injury. It is possible that the oxycodone was for it. You should check if there was any prescription for her. It might be under her old name.''
Gail stared at the findings Holly handed her and when she lifted her gaze to ask something, she noticed Holly looking at her.
''What?''
''You really care about your cases? None of the doctors that works here would spend that much time explaining thigs to me.''
Holly just smiled.
''No, I really mean it. You do care about this person.''
''And you don't?''
''I do… But it's not the same.''
'' I am stack behind the microscope and the autopsy table. You get to solve it outside…''
''I know, that is why I think you've got it worse. I come and investigate the crime. I listen to what you and other experts say and based on what you tell me, I try to find some connection. You look at those people and face the worse of humanity every day. You work on those bodies, you call the family to tell them what happened… ''
''It's not easy job, but it gives me satisfaction to help solve a crime. It makes us nerds feel like super heroes for a moment.''
''I was never science geek. I had a boyfriend for that… He was lord of the nerds. He loved to study and he was often just lost in the books and things like that. I would sometimes sneak out form my class and watch him mix things in his science class...or in the lab after classes. He had such a contiguous smile when he succeeded… He died at the age of eighteen. I never learned what happened to him.''
Holly's smile disappeared…
''Oh, I am sorry doctor… I didn't mind to make you sad…''
''It's fine… So, is there anything else you need detective?''
''No, thank you for this. Now I know where to start my work tomorrow.''
''Glad I could help…''
Gail left and Holly changed to go home. It was a weird day for her. Her first big case in Toronto turned out to be something that shook her deeply. She hated cases like this. She changed out of her scrubs and put on her favorite lip gloss. She needed to get home and just…do nothing. Car ride home was like walking down the memory lane for her. She remembered all the bad moments she had with her family and these broken bones on the victim got her to remember all the beating she took as a child and later in life. She hated when cases hit close to home. After two big glasses of wine she was in bed waiting for the new day to start. Her work phone rung too soon. With a sleepy voice she answered the call.
''Dr. Stewart…''
''It's detective Peck… Sorry to wake you up…''
''No, it's ok. What can I do for you?''
''We have another one….''
''Text me address…''