Written for the Quidditch Fanfiction League Competition for the Beater 2 position.

War.

That one word, just one word, was devastating. It destroyed people, ideas, objects, until there was nothing left in the world. It consumed everything in its path, not caring which side won, only requiring blood and sacrifices and death. It was a terrible thing, and would always exist as long as the world spun on.

War was a very familiar word. She had heard over and over and over again in her childhood. She had seen the victims, had read the textbooks. She had thought it was so far away from her. They were in peaceful times, which meant she would grow up to have a nice life, without bloodshed and grief. But now, it had become her whole world, her life.

She had seen it coming. In her later Hogwarts years, the tension had been rising, between the Gryffindors and the Slytherins, and only an idiot wouldn't have sensed it. But it was only when Severus had called her that word and she cut ties with him that she really realized it was happening. It had been happening for years now, far before their generation, and it all accumulated in one big climax.

If she had known what the future held, Lily mused to herself, would she have still leapt head first into the magical world?

Yes, she would've. She had gotten so much from the magical world. She had received wonder, and magic, and friendship and so many things that you wouldn't be able to find in the Muggle world. She would've been so unhappy living as a regular Muggle than her own vibrant, tough life as a witch. She could see it in the way Petunia looked at her whenever she came home, and she was glad the magical world had chosen her.

Yet, at the same time, Lily was so so scared. Deep inside, she was still a frightened little girl, waiting for her mother to come take her away. She wasn't prepared for this, and she wasn't sure she ever would be. She didn't want to see the people she held dear in her life go away, and she didn't want to have to fight. And most of all, she didn't want to die. It was a selfish thought, but one she had nonetheless. Lily wanted to live a happy life, have a family, get a job. All the regular things that people had. All of the things she might not ever have.

And, Lily thought, her education was all for naught. She had studied so hard during her Hogwarts years, and now it was all for nothing. She wouldn't even get the chance to find a job, let alone work at one. She half wanted to run away from London, live her life with James and all her friends, away from everything. But it was only a vague fantasy, and she knew that she could never do that.

It was so unfair. Life was unfair.

Lily chuckled darkly to herself. She wondered when she had gotten so pessimistic. She wondered what had happened to that bright girl she had been upon entering Hogwarts. That girl was long gone now.

Letting out a sigh, she stared down at her trembling fingers. She clenched her fist in a tight ball, then released it.

The door to their bedroom opened, and James silently entered, sitting down next to her on the bed. He sat beside her and she leaned her head against his shoulder as he soothingly stroked her hair.

"You shouldn't think so negatively Evans," James said quietly. He poked her forehead, right between her eyebrows. "I can tell because you have a crinkle here. You're gonna get a permanent one soon."

Lily felt an unwilling smile stretch across her face. "Stop that. I was having a nice internal monologue you know. And it's Potter now, isn't it?"

James started, then stared down at her in wonder. "Right," he said.

Lily scoffed, then stretched out her arm and looked at her own ring. They had only just gotten married a couple days earlier, a small miracle in their world. It had been rushed, and small, her parents not able to make it because of the risk. In the end, she had walked down the aisle arm in arm with Remus, who looked teary eyed as he passed her off to James. The wedding hadn't been anything fancy, and her wedding dress was borrowed. It was in fact, nothing like the wedding she had dreamed about when she was a child. But things were different now.

Another poke at her forehead brought her down to Earth again. She half-heartedly slapped his arm away.

"You're gonna get wrinkles," James reminded her again. She rolled her eyes.

"Okay, okay, I get it. I'll stop thinking pessimistically."

James glanced down at her thoughtfully. "I could… distract you," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Lily gave him a deadpan look. "We have a meeting soon."

"I was just kidding!" James smiled nervously down at her.

"Just… sit with me until then," Lily said, suddenly tired.

He nodded at her, and remained dutifully by her side. His hands were still tangled in her hair, still stroking it, and Lily felt herself being lulled into a kind of half sleep. She drifted in and out of unconsciousness, allowing herself believe that there was nothing wrong in the world, and that they were living a nice, simple life.

But it was over soon, and she felt James shaking her shoulder.

"It's time for the meeting," he said.

Lily sighed, steeling herself. She got off the bed and combed through her hair, staring at the mirror. She looked terrible. Dark bags under her eyes, rumpled clothes. Shaking her head, she turned away and returned to James's side. They apparated to the safe house, recited the password, entered the hall. It all felt mechanical to Lily.

As they stood in front of the door to the living room, Lily slipped her hand into James.

"Are you ready?" James asked her quietly, holding her hand tightly.

Lily took a deep breath, squeezing back as tightly as she could.

"Yes, I am."

Together, they stepped forward into the first Order of the Phoenix meeting.