A:N/ Another crazy snowstorm. Another two days of being stuck in my house, not even able to open my front door. I can't wait for this winter to be over... . But I did get to finish another chapter. I hope you like it.

Chapter 23: DESPERATION

BELLA

Jasper shoved Edward away from him with almost a growl.

"You hurt her!" Edward snarled, raising his axe.

"Oh my god…." I gasped. "He's going to kill him. We have to stop them."

I painfully climbed to my feet with Rosalie's help.

"Edward…" I tried to say, but it came out too quiet. "Edward, no…"

Either he didn't hear me or his fury was too strong because he didn't even pause before swinging his blade.

Emmett appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Edward's hand, wrenching the axe out of it.

However, by disarming Edward, he wasn't paying attention to Jasper who was in a battle fury of his own.

Jasper swiped his knife off the ground and lunged at Edward, stabbing at him under Emmett's arm.

Thankfully, Edward saw it coming and spun to the side, narrowly missing getting stabbed in his ribs.

A growl ripped from Edward's chest and he shoved Emmett away with all the force he had, knocking him to the ground.

However, before he could reach Jasper, Alice stepped between them.

Edward was pulled up short by her appearance, but Alice wasn't looking at him. Her focus was completely on Jasper.

Calmly, she reached up and grabbed a hold of his chin firmly, pulling his face down so that he broke off his glare at Edward and focused on her.

"Jasper, stop. Put down your knife," she said, calmly but firmly.

It was like a switch had been flipped inside of Jasper's head the minute she spoke.

The animal gleam in his eyes flickered out, but there was still a threatening intensity in them.

Even when Jasper backed down, Edward wasn't ready to let it go.

Emmett had him practically in a head lock, trying to keep him from attacking.

"Edward. Chill out! You can't do this!" Emmett shouted at him.

I stood at a safe distance away from Jasper, with Edward, Emmett, and Rosalie between us. From this distance, I felt safe enough to scrutinize him.

When I was able to see past the blood and zombie gore, I saw that Jasper had a lot of scars. Down one cheek, he had a jagged scar from probably a knife. But more shockingly, there was one across his throat that didn't look like it had come from a knife. It was thick and had a pattern to it that almost looked like rope. On top of his scars, he was missing a finger on his left hand.

They were both painfully thin, clearly not having eaten a decent meal in a long time. But underneath the gore, Alice didn't seem injured like Jasper.

"LET ME GO, EMMETT!" Edward yelled, trying to wrench himself out of Emmett's grasp. "He almost killed Bella!"

At his words, I broke off staring at Jasper and Alice and went over to him. Stepping in front of him, I placed my hands on his chest and stood on the tips of my toes to try to get his attention.

"I'm fine, Edward," I said, but it didn't seem to register with him.

"Edward, look at me," I ordered in a firm tone.

His eyes snapped down to mine, only to focus on my neck. His eyes narrowed in anger at whatever he saw there.

Tilting my head up, he ran his finger along the cut which seemed to stretch across my neck. My eyes watered at the sting of his calloused finger running against the tender flesh.

It was only because of my quick reflexes that I was able to knock the blade out of Edward's hand as in one fluid motion he pulled it out of its sheath on his belt and made to attack Jasper.

"Bella…" Edward warned, spinning towards me with a glare as the blade clattered to the ground.

"Edward, stop!" I snapped. "You can't just kill him."

"Why the hell not? If I'd been only a few seconds late, he would have killed you."

I looked over my shoulder at Jasper, but there was no guilt or apology in his eyes. He looked defiant, but thankfully he didn't look like he was ready to go on the offensive. Alice had taken his weapon and was standing in front of him.

"Edward, please. Let's just talk," Alice said, a look of extreme anxiousness on her face.

"Alice…"Jasper said, the first coherent sound he uttered since whispering his threat in my ear.

Turning to Jasper, she cupped his cheek turning his face to hers.

"Jasper, you remember Edward, right?" she asked.

Jasper tilted his head to the side as he looked at Edward, not showing any sign that he actually recognized him.

Edward looked confused by the exchange, but didn't drop his guard. Even though he didn't have a weapon, I could see that he was ready to attack Jasper with his bare hands if he needed to.

When Edward didn't say anything, I stepped in.

"I'm Bella and that over there is Emmett and Rosalie."

As I spoke their names, I looked around at my family.

I saw that Emmett was physically holding Rosalie up in his arms because her legs didn't seem to be able to hold her. There was blood that stained the left side of her shirt.

In the panic, I'd forgotten about the fact that Rosalie had been hurt. She was pressing her hand against her side and she looked pale, too pale.

"Rosalie," I gasped as I ran over to her.

"I just need to sit down," she said, looking at me and Emmett.

"Ok, babe," Emmett said, the worry obvious in his voice.

"Let me see," I said, pulling on the hem of her shirt.

I hissed as the lifted shirt revealed a bullet hole.

From watching crime shows, I quickly looked at her back, hoping for an exit wound.

I gave a small sigh of relief at the exit hole, but it was quickly followed by worry. Her wound was bleeding heavily.

"Emmett, you have to put pressure on the wound. I'm going to get Edward so we can go back to the RV. She's going to need stitches," I said, climbing to my feet.

"I'll go now," Emmett said, picking Rosalie up in his arms.

"No," I said. "One of our attackers got away. He could be bringing others."

Emmett nodded grimly. "Be fast, Bella," he said, holding Rosalie close.

I spun around to look at the confrontation behind me. Edward hadn't moved from where I'd left him, nor had Alice and Jasper.

"We gotta go," I said, running over to them. I faced Edward with my back to Alice and Jasper. "Rose is going to need stitches."

"We have a first aid kit," Alice said from behind me.

I turned my head towards her and gave her a tight lipped smile.

"Thanks, but we have one of our own," I said, tugging on Edward's arm.

"We have a place nearby. We cleared out the top floor of Camden Head apartments," she said. "You'll be safe."

"We gotta go," I said, tugging more firmly on Edward's arm.

"Please don't go," she called out as we hurried away. "Do you have any spare food?"

Edward and I froze at her words.

I could tell that they were both starving, but I didn't know whether I was willing to give any of our meagre supplies to people who had made Edward leave the safety of their home.

I looked up at Edward who had a grim look on his face.

"We'll come to you at Camden Head," he said, without turning back towards them.

Together, we hurried towards Rosalie and Emmett and then left for the RV.

ALICE

One year ago

"Pack your things. We won't be able to clear them out this time. We need to leave," Jasper said, firmly.

"Can't we just barricade ourselves in the basement?" Mom asked.

"There's too many of them this time," Jasper said, tension in his voice.

I stared at his face, the face I loved so much, and felt anxious at the worry I saw there. Jasper was usually so calm, just being near him usually made me feel quiet inside.

At that moment, I heard the familiar sounds of my father's walker as he came down the hallway upstairs. Quickly, I hurried up the stairs to help him.

He leaned heavily on me, almost too much for me to hold up. He was getting worse every day. Soon, he wouldn't even be able to get out of bed.

Once we'd reached the bottom of the stairs, I helped him into the living room where Jasper and Mom were discussing something quietly.

"What's happening?" Dad asked, collapsing onto the couch.

"You're property is filling up with the dead," Jasper said. "When I was out on patrol, I noticed that a herd is coming this way. There's too many for me to pick off on my own and the sound of gunfire would only attract more of them," he said, looking out the window.

My eyes followed his and while I couldn't see them I could almost feel them approaching.

My already pounding heart seemed to leap in my chest.

Leaving my father's side, I went over to Jasper who wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"We need to leave," Jasper said, firmly. "Today. Now."

Dad stared at him for a few minutes before speaking.

"You're going to leave," Dad said, firmly.

I turned to Dad in shock.

"Dad, what do you mean? You can't even walk. Maybe Jasper can-" I said, stepping towards him. However, he cut me off.

"Sweetheart, I can't keep up and if what Jasper says is true I'm going to turn into one of those things anyway. I'm a danger to you and your mother. You both need to leave with him. You'll protect my family, won't you Jasper?" the man said.

"I promise, sir... Alice, go gather some food from the kitchen. Anything canned is good," Jasper said, passing me his backpack.

I looked at Dad and started sobbing. I couldn't leave him.

"Alice, you've got to go. Listen to your daddy," Dad said, pointing towards the kitchen.

With a whimper, I ran into the kitchen and started shoving anything I could get my hands on into the backpack.

"I'm not leaving you, sweetheart," I heard Mom say in the background.

"Yes, you are," Dad said.

I quickly filled the bag and rushed back into the living room.

"They'll tear you apart sir," Jasper said, quietly, not knowing that I was within hearing distance.

"I don't care. Take care of my women. That's all that's important," Dad said.

Jasper nodded at that.

"Sweetheart," Dad said to Mom. "Get the packaged seeds that we have stored in the basement. Wherever you settle, you're going to need them. There's a good variety in there."

Without a word, Mom left the living room and I heard her open the cellar door.

After that, there was a flurry of activity as Mom and I packed up some more supplies.

"We're out of time," Jasper said, looking out the window.

I looked out the window too and saw in the distance the shapes of at least fifty zombies weaving their way through the field. They'd reach us soon.

"No, no, no…" I said, shaking my head. I wouldn't leave him. He was my dad.

Dad stood up and wobbled towards me, pulling me into a fierce hug.

"I love you, baby girl. You'll be fine with Jasper and your mother," he said, kissing my cheek and holding me tight for a moment more before pushing me into Jasper's arms.

"Daddy, NO!" I screamed as Jasper firmly pulled me and Mom to the backdoor and out into the yard. I could hear the dead now. They were close enough for me to hear their chorus of moaning.

"No, I'm not leaving him," Mom cried out, ripping herself out of Jasper's grip.

She looked at me for one agonized second and started moving backwards towards the house.

"Mom!" I cried out, but she just mouthed "I love you" and bolted back into the house.

"We gotta go," Jasper said, pulling me with him.

"I can't… I can't leave them…" I cried, fighting Jasper.

I didn't want to live without my parents. How could I go on without them?

I tried to get away, but Jasper was stronger. He dragged me towards the woods with him, not looking back.

We hadn't gone far when we heard screaming in the distance. Again, I struggled against Jasper. I couldn't leave them to die, but Jasper never let go. He didn't even look back as he dragged me through the trees.

Our lives for the next year were ruled by nothing but survival. Every day we were challenged for our survival.

Even when we found a small camp run by soldiers, our lives were at risk. At first I'd thought we were finally safe until I realized that the soldiers were out for themselves. They'd bring survivors in and then take their supplies and if you fought back they'd kill you.

This exact thing happened to us. When they tried to take our supplies, Jasper fought back. However, he was no match for them. They were stronger and there were more of them.

They beat him and then as a lesson to the others, they made a hangman's noose and tried to hang him. I fought to get to him, but as I screamed and clawed at the soldiers they just laughed and held me back. I helplessly watched Jasper struggle in the air as they hauled him up, his face turning red and then blue.

The only reason Jasper survived was that another group of seven survivors attacked the soldiers when they were distracted.

As they killed the soldiers, I pulled the rope off Jasper's neck. He hadn't been in the air long enough for him to strangle, but there was an ugly rope burn that wrapped itself around his throat that I knew was going to scar.

Again, I thought we were safe when the other survivors finished killing the soldiers, But when they were done, they took our food and weapons themselves.

It took Jasper a couple of days to recover and by then we were hungry, really hungry.

When he finally was feeling slightly better, we followed the trail that the survivors had left.

I expected that Jasper would sneak into their camp and steal our food back, but instead he chose to kill them.

I sat in the trees and watched him creep from tent to tent, killing them. I was horrified and slightly scared of the man that I'd tied myself to.

When he returned with our food and theirs, he saw the fear in my eyes.

I saw hurt flash in his eyes, but then he carefully walked over to me and crouched down on his haunches to be at eye level with me.

"I'm sorry darlin'. I know you're scared. But we're going to have to do scary things to survive. We're going to survive this thing, and we're going to do it by being just as ruthless as them! There are no rules anymore. There's only us and them and all they wanna do is kill us! Both the living and the dead want to kill us."

After that we kept running for what felt like weeks. There were many days that I just didn't want to keep going. I didn't want to live in this horrible world where everyone died painfully. But then I would look at Jasper and think about what would happen to him if I ever decided to just take my own life. I knew that I was the only thing keeping him human.

Jasper was constantly on guard. He never slept. I tried my best to help him, but I was just too weak. I'd learned a little about how to handle a gun, but I wasn't very good. And when you were on the run, guns weren't your best options anyway because they attracted more dead.

The more we were hunted, the more Jasper became detached from everything. There were days when he wouldn't speak at all, just hunt, and run, and protect.

The only times that he would be my Jasper again was when I'd take him to bed. He was always tender and gentle, everything I associated with Jasper. But then, morning would come and he'd be back to his hardened self.

It only got worse after one of the zombies bit him.

We were cornered in a warehouse, no exit and fifteen zombies coming our way.

In our fight to get out, one of them bit his hand before he was able to bludgeon it to death.

Barely batting an eye, I watched Jasper haul out his bowie knife and cut off his own finger.

I stitched him up the best I could and he physically healed. However, psychologically, I wasn't sure that he'd ever be the same again. I wasn't even sure whether he remembered who he was anymore.

I found myself often thinking about Edward. After being on the road, I felt terribly guilty for what we'd done to him. Living on the farm, I hadn't known what the world was really like. I'd just seen Edward as an aggressive guy that was always ready for a fight. I'd been afraid of him. Now, I realized that Edward back then had known what the world was really like and was just protecting himself and in a sense us. He'd been trying to open our eyes to the harsh realities of the world we lived in.

Jasper had a lot of guilt about what he'd done. Almost immediately after Edward had left, he'd wanted to go after him. But he couldn't leave us unprotected. There were always dead nearby that could get to us if Jasper left for any length of time. So, eventually, Jasper had to give up on the idea of ever being able to find Edward.

I wondered where Edward was and if he was even alive. I prayed that he was. I prayed that he had found a safe place to have a life.

We decided that we had to find a big enough city where there may be food. We were getting weaker every day. I hadn't seen what I looked like in a long time, but from the way that Jasper's cheeks were becoming sunken in I knew it was bad.

Camden was quite a large city, so we were both convinced that there would be places to find food.

But before we could really start searching, we had to find a place to set up a temporary home.

Anything on ground level wouldn't be good. The dead could get to us easily.

It was Jasper who decided that we should find an apartment building with a fire escape and clear out the top floor.

On the map, we found an apartment complex near where we were called Camden Head Apartments.

I was worried that there would be too many dead wandering the halls in such a big apartment complex, but Jasper thought that the majority of them would be in their apartments.

So, together we crept up the fire escape, trying to keep the creaking and clanging of metal to a minimum. But even then, there were times when the dead would bash themselves against apartment windows, searching for the source of the noise.

When we finally reached the top floor, we gingerly opened the door that led us into a darkened hallway. There were a few zombies in the stairwell, but Jasper was able to kill them easily. Much to our relief, each floor had a door at both ends that closed automatically. So, all of the zombies were trapped either inside their apartments or in the closed-in hallway.

There was one zombie trapped inside the hallway, but Jasper killed it. Then, we walked from apartment to apartment banging on doors, trying to rile up the dead until we finally found one that seemed empty.

Jasper broke the lock and we tumbled into the apartment, looking everywhere for an attack. However, there was none. The apartment was empty.

Latching the chain on the front door to keep us secure, we collapsed on the couch.

I think we slept for a little while, but eventually gnawing hunger woke me.

Searching through the cupboards, I found an unopened box of crackers and a bottle of Gatorade. It was an amazing find. I woke Jasper and together we finished off the whole box of crackers and drink. We probably should have saved some, but I didn't think we would make it much longer without food in our stomachs.

After eating, we slept a long time. It had been a while since either of us had had a place to lay our heads where we didn't have to keep one eye open. I had no idea how long we slept, but hunger woke us, the crackers and Gatorade long ago having been used up by our exhausted bodies.

"We have to go out and search for food," Jasper said that afternoon. "I think I saw a grocery store around the corner. It should have something we can eat."

I nodded.

I was afraid to leave the safety we found in this apartment, but I knew that we had to do it.

There wasn't any point in being safe if we were going to die of hunger.

"Let's go out in the hallway," he said.

I knew what he was going to do and my stomach lurched at the thought.

Going into the bathroom, Jasper came out with the shower curtain before unlatching the chain on the door and stepping outside.

Jasper laid the shower curtain out flat on the floor and then dragged the dead zombie that he'd killed the day before onto it.

Then, he proceeded to cut it apart and smear us with its guts.

He'd found out, by accident, that if the dead couldn't distinguish our smell from their own, then they ignored us.

Once we were covered, we headed down the fire escape and into the street.

We hadn't been out for long before we stumbled upon the other survivors.

I had just been about to follow Jasper into the grocery store after he checked for any of the dead when the survivors found me.

Cut off from Jasper, I was terrified. There were too many of them for Jasper to take on alone. They were all strong and capable looking with their weapons and the aggressive gleam in their eyes. They reminded me of the soldiers that had almost killed Jasper.

But when I thought all hope was lost, a girl appeared distracting my captors. This gave Jasper a chance to sneak in and kill some of them while a hidden friend of the girl killed another.

I stared at my rescuer in amazement, so thankful that a stranger would step in to help me. I didn't think that there were any people like that left. It gave me a small sliver of hope until I saw Jasper rushing towards her with his knife in his hand. Before I could reach him, he had her by the neck.

I tried to get to them before he hurt her, but suddenly there was a shape hurdling towards them that practically ripped Jasper up off his feet and slammed him against the brick wall of a building.

I gasped in horror as Jasper's attacker, turned from an unknown stranger who was about to kill the man I loved to the familiar face of Edward, someone I'd never expected to see again.

This was followed quickly by the knowledge that one of them was about to die.

If it had to be someone, then I wanted it to be me, so I stepped in between them. Both of them weren't too far gone that they didn't realize that I was there.

As I tried to soothe Jasper, Edward was yanked away by a large man.

Slowly, things were calmed down enough that I was able to try to reason with Jasper. However, I was shocked by the fact that he didn't seem to even recognize Edward. I hadn't realized how far gone Jasper was until that moment.

Then, the others were leaving and I felt desperate.

I knew that I was asking a lot, but I had to do it. I begged them for food.

We'd abandoned Edward and now I was asking him for some food. I didn't think that I could feel any lower at that moment.

"We'll come to you at Camden Head," Edward said as he left us.

As I led Jasper back to our apartment, I prayed that Edward would actually follow through with his words.

Once we reached the apartment, I broke down. I literally fell to pieces.

Jasper sat down facing me, reaching out to cup my face.

"We're good," he said gently, but it was contradicted by the feral embers of violence just now fading in his eyes

I nodded and leaned in to kiss him. He returned my gentle kiss with one of his own, letting me know that my Jasper wasn't completely gone.

So do you think that Edward and the others should help Alice and Jasper?