Warnings: Khun Eduan by proxy, illness, mentions of death, internalized ableism

Chapter One

His father gives him the order dismissively, as he does everyone. Well, everything. Aguero knows that he isn't special, that he matters as much as the color of the tile or the empty wine casket or the next woman the man brings to his bed.

Aguero knows he shouldn't be here. He knows that really, he's too young. Not as much as the likes of Endorsi and the junior Anaak but he's young. He's young but this person is probably younger.

The last owner of the book of darkness.

A boy with a strange name, a cursed name. His name is a punishment, a rebellion. Hence why he is dying.

He will be pulled into the book and frozen in time, left to rot in an eternal gentle dream.

A fitting end for a child called "Bam", night.

Aguero simply had to be sure to make it happen.

And he would. Attachments were for people with everything to lose. And he would lose nothing. Not again.

Also well, if he broke the rules a little along the way, was there really any harm?

Bam spends most of his days in the city library or at home. He's too ill to go to school consistently, and he has only a guardian to support him, who isn't allowed to visit him often. He can wander around unaided with his chair, though it is exhausting, and he has plenty of money to support himself. But none of those things take the place of companions.

And the only one he has is…

"Rachel!" he greets as he pushes himself to the entrance, his old library books in hand. His most important book, the only one he never left without, remains snug in his backpack. It was all he had of his birth family, after all. "Did I keep you waiting?"

She smiles at him as she lifts her head from the book she's reading. "Nope!"

Which means he probably did. "I'm sorry…" he said weakly. There was only so much he could do about that.

Something crosses her face, something he could never understand, which makes her yellow eyes gleam like candle light. "It's okay, Bam. You should let me come pick you up next time."

"I couldn't do that!" He doesn't know why, but it would sting something in his stomach, for her to watch him as he lifted himself from the couch to the chair, take the tiny chair lift upstairs, or be asleep on the couch because it was just too much. Not humiliating, he'd done it so long he couldn't imagine not doing it unless Jinsung was around, but… painful to deal with.

He does want her to taste his food someday before he dies.

"That's too far of a distance and you go to school, Rachel," he says, smiling it off. Because he is happy. He is happy even if it means he has to do a little extra. They only see each other a few times a month. That's enough for him. He's content. She's still looking at him like he's a puzzle to unravel and put away in its box rather than solve. "So how was the book? Master told me to ask you because he's working on a new theory."

That look, the one that hungers and hurts at the same time, lingers in her eyes for a few moments more until it vanishes and she smiles. "It was really useful actually! I used it on my project in class. One of my classmates did -"

Bam smiles and lets the chatter wash over him, clutching his book tight.

He lets her lead and follows. Yes, he's content. Because she could be cruel and mock him behind his back but she had never seemed like that kind of person in the library. She could lie, but she'd never treated him in a way he may not have deserved. And it was nice to talk about books with someone.

They exit as the sun starts going down. It's a long way home for him. "I'm going to stop at the store," he says "It'll be faster."

"Can I come with you?" Rachel asks, smiling. "I've got a taste for strawberry ice cream."

Bam swallows and reminds his heart to settle. Settle! He knows from watching other children that friends did this all of the time, but Rachel has been his only friend, and only in the library, so… it's not… he's frightened, a little.

"Okay," he manages to say, this time leading. She trails after him, looking around the neighborhood in pure curiosity. That's probably the only reason she's not walking and outpacing the slow speed of his wheelchair. He shifts and ducks his head in gratitude.

The convenience store lady knows him by now and greets him with good cheer. She giggles at Rachel for some reason, who squirms a bit in her uniform at the scrutiny. Bam guesses why but says nothing. Instead he moves down the aisles, hoping to get this over with as quickly as possible. THe basket fills up steadily in his lap as he goes through the essentials. Someone slides past his chair and he winces as they collide into one of the armrests.

"Sorry," they say, looking down at him. "I thought I could slip past."

Bam doesn't answer at first, too busy trying to readjust the wheels so he doesn't fall over. Then, properly in place again, he offers a timid smile. "It's okay, the aisles here are fairly small, after all. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," they say, and Bam catches a glimpse of hard sapphire eyes, smooth as pearls. "Thanks for the concern."

And then they pass him.

For some reason, Bam feels disappointment curl heavy in his stomach. But he's used to that, so he swallows it and finishes shopping.

Rachel has three little containers of ice cream, a sewing kit, and three ready made dinners. "My brothers suck at cooking," she says wearily. "It's just like them."

Bam doesn't laugh because he doesn't really understand. "I'll give you something to take home sometime," he says instead, already thinking of things a few people can share.

She smiles at him gratefully, and they separate. She heads down the street, he waits for the bus. The streets are quiet now, quieter than usual. But he pays it no mind. Some weeknights are quieter than others.

He drums his fingers as the bus arrives, and quickly finds a space. A familiar pair of blue eyes and silvery hair walk past him, but Bam doesn't pay him any mind either. He pulls out one of the books he got instead and reads until they reach his stop.

The day had been ordinary, as far as days go. But it's almost his birthday. Anything exciting can happen.

He continues his journey home, the final book, his precious family heirloom thrumming in the darkness of the night.

He doesn't see the pair of blue eyes watch him make his way up to his home alone, doesn't see them turn the key a few doors away, doesn't see the shimmer of ice blue light around his hands.

But Aguero sees him.

A/N: I blame 90 different amvs for this and also Bam's name. Sorry Bam. Also sorry Khun, you think you're getting out of this alone you're wrong. All wrong! This is for khunbamweek2020 -eyes/dreams