A:N/ This is a hard chapter, folks. Hope you enjoy it. It was incredibly hard to write.
Chapter 40: Rage
BELLA
It took a moment for me to realize what was happening. One minute I'd been watching in horror as Stefan was about to shoot Arnold and the next I was flying through the air amidst a firestorm of debris and dust.
Hitting the ground hard forced the air out of my lungs and for a moment I couldn't get a deep enough breath. Rolling onto my stomach and then my knees, I coughed heavily and then gagged from the impact.
It was chaos all around me. People were screaming and searching for loved ones.
I looked over at the front gate, but realized that there wasn't a gate anymore, just a huge pile of twisted metal and crumbling brick. Then, I saw the dead squeezing their way through the gap.
Jumping to my feet, I looked for Edward and found him a few feet away not moving.
Fearfully, I ran to his side and dropped to my knees. He was staring unseeing up at the sky, but he was breathing and when I called his name he looked at me in confusion. Sitting up groggily, he brought his hand to his forehead which was dripping blood.
"Edward…" I shouted, tugging on his arm. "Edward, we've got to go. The wall! The wall is gone!"
His eyes cleared and he looked at the front gate.
This time when I yanked on his arm, he hurried to his feet.
Once he was standing, I pulled him along with me. I was still out of breath, but I couldn't slow down. The dead were too close.
With Edward's hand in mine, I searched for the closest place to find shelter. I could hear that the moaning of the dead was getting closer, but I didn't dare look behind me. Accompanying the moans was the rumble of cement and brick still crumbling which meant that more of the wall was giving way under the number of dead trying to squeeze through the gap.
It had started to rain hard. The drops beat against the sidewalk blending with the occasional whoosh of a downdraft that soaked us. Along with the moaning of the dead, it was a deafening sound.
Edward was weaving left and right, clearly still hurt from the fall off the platform. Therefore, it was up to me to get us to safety. I felt panic beginning to strangle me as the moans got louder but I couldn't afford to have that happen.
The closest house to the front gate was Embry's so I pulled Edward along with me until we made it to the front porch.
As we reached the door, I made the mistake of looking behind me for a second and was horrified to see the large number of dead filling the streets of our community. It froze me in my tracks, which caused Edward to stumble into me.
There were so many of them and even with their varying degrees of decay, they were moving towards us at a steady pace. Their rancid aroma of decay wafted towards us, a smell that made my eyes water. Being behind the walls of the community kept the dead far enough away that their stench hadn't been as potent, so I wasn't used to it anymore.
Suddenly, the door whipped open and hands yanked Edward and me inside where we came face to face with Embry, Carlisle, Esme, Chris, Claire and Quil.
I could see a similar panic on their faces that I knew was on mine because we all knew that the homes of our community were not prepared for an invasion of the dead. There were no barricades that blocked the windows. The only house that had any kind of protection from the dead was ours, but it was too far away.
We'd become too relaxed, trusting in the strength of our walls. It was so stupid to let our guard down and now we were going to pay the price.
"Edward hit his head, Carlisle," I said which caused Carlisle to pull Edward to the couch so he could examine him.
It was a testament to how hurt Edward was because he didn't argue with me. He simply sat down and allowed Carlisle to check him.
As Carlisle looked into each of Edward's eyes and felt the back of his head for injury, he spoke to the rest of us.
"Have you seen any of the others?" he whispered.
Edward still had a dazed empty look in his eyes that frightened me, so I walked over to him and placed my hand on his back, needing to touch him.
I shook my head and there were murmurs of no from the others.
"Ben was with us, but he ran off to look for Angela," Quil said.
"We need to find the others, so we can make a plan about where to go," Embry said.
"What do you mean?" Quil asked, harshly. "We can't go anywhere. This is our home."
Just as Embry shook his head, the first thump of the dead could be heard on the other side of the wall.
Everyone's eyes locked on to the wall, falling silent as the thumping got louder and started coming from different areas.
Carlisle beckoned for us to follow him upstairs where we could talk quietly without stirring up the dead that were starting to surround the house.
"What do we do?" I asked, pacing back and forth.
Because of the rain, our zombie camouflage would just wash off once we stepped outside. None of us wanted to be caught in the middle of the herd while we were searching house to house. So that meant we were essentially trapped here.
"We should go up on the roof and look for the others," Edward slurred, starting to come out of the fog from hitting his head so hard. He probably had a concussion, but I was worried that there was nothing we could do about it.
"He's right. The roof would be a great vantage point to see around the community," Embry said.
Edward started to stand up, but Carlisle pressed down on his shoulder.
"No. You have to stay here," Carlisle said, firmly.
Edward nodded wearily and pressed his hand against the cloth that Carlisle was using to staunch the blood coming from the cut along his hairline.
Without another word, Embry slipped out onto his balcony and beckoned for Quil to help boost him up onto the roof.
"I'm going too," I said to Edward and he just nodded, too unsteady to put up a fight.
Once Embry had made it onto the roof, he pulled Quil, me, and Claire up after him, wincing as it pulled on his injured arm.
My breath caught in my throat as I looked down upon the sea of dead.
Not only were the dead that had built-up around the community getting inside the walls but also there were more dead approaching the community because of the noise that the grenade launcher had made. In some places, the dead were so densely packed it was like a stockyard full of cattle in the streets.
Banging into each other, heads lolling, the dead searched the community for any warm-blooded creatures to feast on.
I shuddered at the thought of someone being caught outside in this.
No sooner had I thought that than the frantic bleating of the sheep and goats filled the air.
Steeling myself, I tried to block out the sound of the animals being eaten and focus on looking for our friends, but it was Quil that saw them first.
"Look," he said, pointing to a roof a few houses down.
It was Emmett, Rosalie, and Katie who were waving frantically at us.
They were too far away to speak with, but at least we knew that they were alive.
Emmett was making gestures towards the community house, but because of the rain we couldn't get there without our camouflage.
I pointed up at the sky and shook my head.
Emmett nodded in understanding.
Even though the home they were in was closer to the community house, I prayed that they didn't try to get there. It was too risky without the zombie camouflage and there was no guarantee that anyone had made it there anyway. They were probably stuck in other houses just like we were.
The only thing we could do was try to wait for the rain to stop and hope that the dead didn't tear down the house. However, the sound of wood cracking ripped through the air and I could see over the roof of one of the houses that the barn that Embry built for the animals was collapsing. With more and more dead converging on the community, it was a real possibility that they would destroy the houses we were in if they sensed we were inside.
Therefore, huddled on the roof together, we silently continued to look for other people even though it wold be impossible to reach them until the rain stopped.
Suddenly, the sound of rapid gunfire followed by a loud bang ripped through the air. This was followed by the sound of a woman screaming that grew in volume only to be cut off abruptly. The moaning of the dead grew louder as the sound excited them.
Covering my face with my hands, I couldn't stop the tears. Someone I cared about had just died horribly and I didn't even know who.
The faces of the women of our community flashed through my mind over and over. I only snapped out of it when I felt a person squeeze my shoulder comfortingly.
"Go back in the house, Bella," Embry said.
When I looked at him, he looked so broken that I cried a little harder.
"Quil and I will keep watching for the others. Go with Claire," he continued gently.
With a nod, I climbed down off the roof and went inside.
Carlisle looked at me grimly as I slipped through the sliding glass door.
"Did I hear someone scr-" he began, but I cut him off with a nod. I didn't want Chris to hear, but still I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
"Bella?" Edward asked in concern, trying to stand up and come to me, but failing. Instead, he opened his arms and beckoned me to him.
I hurried to his side and crawled into his lap, burying my head against his chest. Edward rubbed my back and kissed my forehead trying to soothe me, but I couldn't seem to get myself under control.
"What's wrong, Bella?" Chris asked, climbing onto the bed next to where we sat. "Are you scared of the monsters?"
I sat up and wiped at my face, trying to stifle my tears and nodded at him.
He stared at me seriously for a moment and then patted my shoulder before climbing down off the bed and going back to Esme who pulled him into her arms. She seemed to need the comfort more than Chris did.
I didn't know whether it was unique to Chris or all children who were growing up in this new world, but the horror around us didn't seem to affect him that much. I wondered not for the first time what he was going to be like as an adult after having this kind of childhood.
The only time he'd seemed like a normal little boy was when he saw Stefan, his father.
I couldn't believe that Chris was his son, but then again it made sense. Something had turned Stefan into the cold-blooded monster he was and losing a child could have done that.
Even though his father was an evil man, Chris still witnessed his father falling off the RV and getting torn apart by the horde of dead. But beyond crying in that moment, Chris had returned to his normal self.
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the roar of an engine and the screeching of tires outside.
Scrambling out of Edward's arms, I rushed to the window that looked out onto the street.
A dark blue sedan was trying to plow its way through the dead, but the zombies in its way were making the driving difficult. Its tires began to spin and squeal as some of the dead fell beneath the car's wheels.
It looked like they were heading in our direction, but I couldn't be sure.
Regardless, they were still too far away for us to shoot the dead which had now begun to crawl on top of the vehicle to get at the people inside. There was no way we could even get to them by fighting hand to hand because there were too many surrounding the house we were in.
I couldn't understand why they'd decided to risk it. It was a suicide run.
"What do we do?" I gasped, looking back at the others.
The rest were crowded around me at the window, breathing heavily in panic.
"I don't-" Esme began, but was interrupted by the sound of gunfire.
I knew without seeing that it was Emmett, Rose, and Katie shooting because their house was closer to the car.
Slinging my gun over my shoulder, I rushed out onto the balcony and called for Quil or Embry to pull me up.
Once I was up top, I stared down at the situation unfolding below us.
Whoever was in the car had rolled down the window and was trying to shoot the dead surrounding them. Emmett, Rose, and Katie were also shooting at the dead, but all they were succeeding in doing was causing more dead to pile up around the vehicle.
I watched in horror as the windshield began to crack under the weight of the dead.
Embry grabbed my hand and squeezed hard, sharing in my horror.
"What do we do?" I whimpered. "We need to do something…"
But there was nothing we could do without sacrificing ourselves.
That was when we suddenly heard the sound of Nirvana's "Smells Like Team Spirit" blaring in the distance further into the community. The music was loud enough that it caught the attention of the dead.
For a moment, the dead seemed to almost fall silent before a large number of them lost interest in the car and began to lumber away.
However, it was not enough to stop the windshield of the car from giving way under the crushing weight of the dead that were focused on the people inside.
With a loud crack, the windshield shattered and the dead began to worm their way inside. The passengers tried to open their doors in order to make a run for it, but they were trapped inside by the bodies that had piled up.
"We have to get down there. We have to help," I exclaimed.
Enough of the dead had turned away that we had a chance of making it to the vehicle.
"Bella, it's too late," Embry said in a choked voice.
From this distance, I could hear the muffled screams and yells of the people inside.
We couldn't do anything but watch in horror as the people in the car lost their battle against the dead.
A few houses down, I saw Rose press her face against Emmett's shoulder, experiencing the same horror that I was. Then, they climbed down off the roof and disappeared into the house.
Enough dead were gone that after only a short time had passed Emmett, Rosalie, and Katie burst out of their house and were making a run for the community house.
For a moment, I was frozen as I watched them weave through the dead. Emmett was using his size to shove the dead away like a linebacker in a football game while Rose and Katie slashed at them with their machete and axe.
Attracted by their movement, some of the dead had turned back around to attack them.
"We've got to help them," I said.
Climbing down off the roof, we joined the others.
"We need to go," I said, feeling out of breath even though I hadn't run anywhere. "Emmett and the others are going to the community house."
As a group we rushed down the stairs with our weapons drawn.
Throwing open the door with Edward at my side, I slashed at the dead that were still trying to find their way off the porch.
In a tight group, we covered each other's backs as we cautiously made our way towards the building.
We immediately attracted the attention of zombies, but we easily cut them down.
I tried to avoid looking in the direction of the wall because every glance I got filled me with dread. It was still crumbling under the weight of the dead pushing in from outside.
I heard what sounded almost like a whimper coming from behind me, but I ignored it. I concentrated on the mission at hand which was getting to the community house.
The dead were easy to kill because the majority of them were focused on getting to the source of the music. The distorted electric guitar from the loud music seemed to bounce off the buildings, making it unintelligible. Accompanying the moans of the dead, it was an unsettling sound even though it was probably saving our lives.
A couple of the dead tried to grab me, but Edward easily fought them off.
I risked a glance at him and felt a great sense of relief that he'd regained some of his fierceness that he always had during a fight. He was a force to be reckoned with during hand to hand fighting.
Finally, we made it to the building and pushed our way indoors.
The minute we got inside, I was pulled into a crushing hug by Rose.
From the corner of my eye, I saw that Emmett was doing the same with Edward.
"We thought we lost you," Rose said, pulling away to look at my face. "When the wall blew up…"
Fiercely, she pulled me back to her with a shuddering sigh.
Emmett and Rose were my family, as close as any blood relative could be, maybe closer.
After a few moments, I pulled away.
It was only then that I noticed the others.
Seth, Leah, and Mrs. Cope were huddled on the couch, looking at us in relief.
"Thank god," Mrs. Cope said, reaching out for Edward's and my hand.
I squeezed her hand back, feeling relief too.
"I told Emily and two of the new girls that it was foolish to try to plow their way out in such a small car. I told them that people would come here, but they wouldn't listen," she said with a frail quiver to her voice.
It took a moment for her words to sink in until I saw Claire's face crumple in grief.
Car… escape… Emily…Claire's cousin…
"She's dead!" Claire wailed which was the first time I'd heard her speak in days.
Quil pulled her to his chest in comfort, but also trying to muffle her sounds of despair.
Her grief fuelled my own for the loss of our people and what I expected would be our home too.
"What do we do?" I asked. I felt like a child, looking for someone to tell me what to do, to help me make sense of what was happening, to make me feel safe again.
"The music is leading them away from us, but it's also attracting more dead from outside the walls," Edward said in an exhausted voice.
"The wall is already weak now, so if more dead push against it it's going to take down more of the wall. If that happens, we're not going to be able to fix it," Embry said.
"Do you really think it's salvageable now?" Emmett asked.
Embry's deep set blue eyes which were always so expressive told us more than words could say. The grimness told us that the chance of repairing the wall before it was too late to save the houses was slim.
"We have to fix it…" Quil said in a choked voice.
I looked at him and saw that his eyes were filled with tears.
"This is our home," he said.
"Let's deal with one thing at a time," Carlisle said, squeezing Quil's shoulder in comfort. "We need to find the others. They'll come here, I think."
A loud bang erupted at the door before it was thrown open and a very bloodied Charlotte and Peter stumbled inside.
"Are you hurt?" Carlisle asked, rushing towards them.
Out of breath, Peter stepped forward before he could reach them. "No, we're fine. It's not our blood."
Charlotte was panting, leaning forward with her hands braced against her knees. While Peter was just splattered with blood, the front of her shirt was covered in it.
"Did you hear the music? I think it's coming from the house on Briar lane. The one at the end of the street," Peter said as he pulled Charlotte to one of the couches. "I don't know who did it, but I'm not sure it was the best move. The dead are going to tear down the south wall in order to get to the sound. It's already a meat grinder over there."
"I hope there's no one inside that house because it isn't going to remain standing for long," Charlotte said, shakily.
"Have you seen any of the others?" Edward asked. His eyes were focused on Charlotte with a strange look.
"No… no one…"
Peter was pacing back and forth in front of Charlotte, pulling at his hair.
"Peter… We have to tell them…" Charlotte said, grabbing his hand and holding him still on one of his passes by her.
Peter froze in his tracks and then spun towards her with his back towards us.
"No… sweetheart... please…" he quietly begged her.
"What?" Carlisle asked, stepping closer to them. "What Charlotte?"
"Stay away from her!" Peter snarled, spinning back around and stepping in front of Charlotte to block Carlisle.
"She's been bitten!" Seth gasped, standing up from the couch.
Peter's eyes became wild as he frantically hauled out his knife from his belt.
"Don't you touch her!" Peter shouted, pointing at each of us with his blade. "I'll kill you if you try to hurt her."
"It's okay, Peter," Charlotte said, soothingly. "Put the knife down."
"You should have told me right away!" Carlisle gasped. "There might have been a chance-"
"There's no chance," Charlotte said, cutting him off. She stood up and pulled down the neck of her shirt, showing the deep bite just below her collarbone.
Carlisle fell back a step, a look of deep sadness on his face.
"What are we going to do with her?" Seth asked, looking panicked.
"Do? DO?" Peter yelled frantically. "You're not going to do anything with her. She's strong. She always has been. She can fight the fever. She can survive. It's only once you die that you turn."
"Peter…" Charlotte said, trying to pull him down next to her on the couch.
She was a petite woman, quite the opposite of the strong person Peter was saying that she was. And at the moment, she looked quite frail. Then again, so did Peter. He'd never been a big man, slightly on the skinny side, but now he looked even thinner, almost gaunt.
"You must have medicine, Doc. Something to kill the fever so Charlotte's immune system can fight the virus," Peter pleaded with Carlisle.
"Even if the medical clinic hadn't burned down, there's no medicine that can fight this virus Peter…" Carlisle said, reaching out to put his hand on Peter's shoulder, but Peter jerked away.
"Stay away from us…" Peter said, hoarsely, but the fight was going out of his voice. "She'll be fine."
"We're not going to hurt her, Peter," Carlisle said. "But there's nothing I can do to help her."
Charlotte pulled Peter down next to her and they pressed their heads together in a moment that brought tears to my eyes.
"She can't come with us," Leah said, pointing towards Charlotte. "She's going to turn."
Everyone began speaking at once.
There was no reason for Leah to say that. It was understood that Charlotte was a liability. Why did Leah have to torture Peter by speaking it out loud?
"I'm not leaving her," Peter said, pressing his forehead against hers.
"Peter, you have to go with them," Charlotte said with a sob. "I'm not going to make it and you know it."
"Then, I'll die with you. I'm not going to live in this world without you," he said with a sob.
I didn't want to be listening to this. It was too heartbreaking and too relevant to all of our lives. I looked over at Edward and thought about how I'd almost lost him today.
Edward was pale, too pale. His dark green eyes were standing out in starker contrast to his pale worry stricken face. There was streaks of blood down his forehead and cheek, showing how close he'd come to death.
Seeing the look of anguish on my face, he pulled me to him and held me.
"We're not leaving, so it isn't even a point that we need to discuss," Quil snapped. "This is our home. We need to fight for it."
"Son," Mrs. Cope said sadly to Quil. "If the walls fall down, this place isn't a safe haven anymore. It's a death trap."
"We can rebuild," he said, but there was a sad uncertainty in his voice. "Where are we going to find a better place?"
No one knew what to say about that.
"So what do we do next?" Emmett asked. "Jasper and Alice, Ben and Angela, Siobhan and the children are still out there. Not to mention the new women that we brought back."
We all fell silent again. Could we really go house to house looking for them?
"Let's go up on the roof again and see what we can find," Embry said.
When Embry had built an extension on the community house, he'd included a ladder to the roof, having planned for something like this before we were lulled into a false sense of security.
"I'll go too," Edward said, letting go of me.
Along with Edward and Embry, Katie, Quil, Emmett, and I joined them.
It was shocking how quickly our once peaceful neighbourhood had been destroyed.
Trees that had once grown in front yards and down the meridian of the street giving the community a welcoming look were now being pulverized under the dead that were marching down the street. There were even some houses that were collapsing.
Emily's car was flipped on its side by the crush of the dead churning around it and I couldn't' see any movement inside.
I realized that with the sound of the music reverberating against the houses, the dead were becoming confused about where the noise was coming from, so they were pushing against each other trying to go in different directions. This was causing even more buildings to be damaged.
"Look," Edward said, interrupting my thoughts.
I looked up at him and saw that he was pointing across the rooftops at one in the distance.
Painted in large white letters that were starting to fade in the rain were the words "CAMDEN HEAD."
EDWARD
With every beat of my heart, my head throbbed drowning out almost everything at first. It felt like a balloon was being inflated under my skull, the pressure was increasing to the point where I felt like it was going to just crack open.
Important things were happening around me, but it was hard to follow conversations at first.
I was mostly going on autopilot, running from the dead and killing the ones that tried to grab Bella.
Now, though, I knew that I had to focus. I had to push past the pain and pay attention.
Charlotte was bitten, we were still missing the others, and now everyone was arguing about whether to follow the sign painted on the roof that said Camden Head.
"The others are probably still trapped in houses. We can't just leave without them," Quil said.
"There are more and more dead getting into the community. We'll be torn apart if we go looking for them," Leah snapped.
"Keep your voices down," Rose hissed, going to the window and peeking through the curtain. "The dead are going to hear you."
The argument made the throbbing in my head stronger and for a moment it drowned out the conversation.
It was the hushed voice of Emmett that brought me back to what was happening around me.
"What about Siobhan? She was taking care of the babies," Emmett said, a look of worry passing over his features.
The softness of his voice cut through the din of arguing, causing everyone to fall silent.
Not only was Siobhan looking after her own two children, but also Tanya and Victoria's babies.
There was no way we could leave without her.
"Does anyone know where she was last?" Embry asked.
"She wasn't with us at the baseball game. She'd taken the children to Alice and Jasper's house for a nap," Esme said.
"Okay," Embry said. "I'll go get them."
"You can't go alone," Emmett said. "That's a suicide mission."
"It's not close to Briar lane, so there will be less dead milling around," Embry said, slinging his shotgun over his shoulder.
"I'll come too," Emmett said. "You can't do it alone."
"You have Rosalie," Embry said as if that ended the discussion.
"And you're hurt…" Emmett responded.
"I'll go," Quil said, releasing Claire from his arms.
"No, Quil. I can't lose you," Claire sobbed, grabbing a hold of his shirt.
I felt Bella begin to pull away from me and I knew what she was about to do.
"No…" I said, gripping her arm tightly.
It was selfish, I knew, but I just couldn't let her go. I needed her safe with me.
She looked up at me, ready to argue, but whatever look I had on my face stopped her.
"I'll go," Seth said. "Embry's right. The dead are focused on the music. But Embry, if you find them, how are you and Siobhan going to carry the children and still protect yourselves?"
I saw that Leah was going to argue, but Seth glared at her.
"It's my decision," he stated firmly.
"The three of us, then," Katie said.
When we looked at her in surprise, she stared back at us with a scowl.
"What? I'm a better shot than most of you. I'll cover their backs."
I felt helpless. Quil and Katie were sixteen and seventeen, too young to be risking their lives. Yes, I was only a little bit older, but I had more experience in these kinds of situations. I should have been part of it. However, I couldn't do anything. I was useless to protect my people.
Without another word, Embry, Seth, and Katie were gone, leaving us to wait in silence.
In the quiet that followed, Bella and I sat on the couch and I allowed my mind to drift, knowing that Emmett and Quil were keeping watch.
I was pulled back to the present at the feeling of pressure on my head.
Opening my eyes, I looked up at Carlisle.
Strain was evident on his face as he grimly wiped at the blood on my forehead with a wet cloth.
"You don't need stitches. Head wounds always bleed a lot," he said, but his voice didn't hold the usual caring concern that I'd come to associate with Carlisle.
It was then that I noticed the moaning. With every long drawn out moan of pain, Carlisle flinched.
"What's happening?" I asked in alarm.
My immediate thought was that one of the dead had managed to get inside.
Carlisle pressed down on my shoulder when I tried to get up.
"It's Charlotte," he said, softly. "She doesn't have much longer."
I clenched my eyes shut in sadness before opening them and looking at Bella who was leaning against me with her arms wrapped around my left arm and her head resting on my shoulder.
She was shaking, so I pulled my arm away from her and wrapped it around her shoulder.
She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and kissed the underside of my jaw.
I rested my cheek against the top of her head and tried to block out the sound of Charlotte losing her battle with the virus and Peter sobbing.
Time moved along, I didn't know how much because I fell asleep once or twice.
During one of my lucid moments, I noticed that the music had stopped.
"We're going to have to leave," Emmett said, breaking the silence. "When Embry and the others get back, we need to go. The music stopped about a half an hour ago, so the dead are filling the streets again."
"What about the others? Jasper, Alice, and Clara? Ben, Angela, and Isaac?" Rose asked.
"We have to hope they saw the roof sign too. If not, we come back to look for them when the dead lose interest and leave. The dead are already looking for us," Emmett said, worry heavy in his voice.
At some point in time, Bella had left me and was busy with Leah and Rose packing up the food in the kitchen in large boxes.
They'd almost finished when the door burst open and in came Embry, Katie, and Seth. Siobhan and the children weren't with them.
"What happened?" I asked, standing up.
"They're gone," Embry said, grimly.
"Do you mean-" I began, but he cut me off.
"They're just gone. There was no one there," he said, but there was something off about his voice.
"What are you not saying?" Bella asked, coming to stand next to me.
"There were signs of a struggle and blood…" Embry said, looking away from us and then up at the ceiling.
"That doesn't mean anything…" Rose said, a note of hysteria in her voice.
"Rose…" Emmett said, grabbing her hand.
"We checked the houses nearby and there's no sign of them. There's no way that she could have made it any farther with the babies," Katie said and then burst into tears.
"Children, we need to go," Mrs. Cope said. "One of the RVs is parked next door. It still has gas in it, I think… We need to go before the dead find us."
She stood up from the couch and wobbled for a moment before she righted herself.
"Ben and Jasper are smart. One of them left that message and the other will have seen it. I know that they would have made the decision to leave too. We'll see them at Camden Head," she said.
Resigned to the reality of our situation, the rest of us grabbed what we could and prepared to leave.
However, before we could leave, we had to figure out what to do with Charlotte and Peter.
"Go with them, Peter," Charlotte ordered, in a hoarse voice. Her face had gone ghostly pale and under her eyes and in her hollowed out cheeks there were hints of purples and greens. It was as if her body was already beginning to rot. She was drenched in sweat from the fever that was killing her and she'd begun to twitch. However, she was still lucid which I wasn't sure was a blessing or a curse.
"There's nothing you can do for me, sweetheart," she said, clenching Peter's hand in hers. "You don't need to see this."
"I'm not going anywhere," he said, firmly and we all knew from his voice that he wouldn't be convinced.
"Go, Peter!" Charlotte shouted, but then dissolved into coughing. "I don't want you here! You can't die here with me!"
Peter flinched at the harshness in her voice, but he didn't move.
"I'll go when it's over…" he said, settling onto his knees next to the couch she was lying on.
Defeated, Charlotte settled back down on the couch as all of her strength left her.
"Go. All of you…" Peter said, not looking at us. "I'll be along later."
Knowing there was nothing we could do, the rest of us grabbed the supplies and weapons and headed for the side door that took us to the alley between the two houses.
With weapons drawn, Embry, Emmett, Quil, and Katie, led the way out of the community house. Immediately the dead tried to swarm us. However, we were ready. We couldn't afford to use guns, but we were experienced with the dead. There weren't enough of them yet to stop us from moving forward.
It was actually exactly what I needed. There was an anger beginning to build in me and I was helpless to stop it. My world was falling apart and I couldn't do anything about it. James, Stefan, they should have died at my hands. If I'd only pushed harder to kill James while I was still with Garrett's group or when Jasper asked us to go after him, then our walls would be standing right now.
Viciously, I attacked the dead. Even when they were on the ground, I couldn't help but keep striking them until Emmett dragged me away.
Thankfully, Mrs. Cope was right and there was still gas in the RV.
It was a tight squeeze inside, but the vehicle was sturdy and heavy enough to crush the zombies that were in our way. We'd almost made it to the front gate of the community when suddenly Quil was trying to push his way between Carlisle and Esme in order to get to the window.
"Open the window," he demanded. "Now!"
"Quil… No. What the hell is wrong with you?" Embry asked, grabbing at his arm.
"Then, help me open the skylight!" Quil's voice sounded desperate.
Shoving us aside, he stepped up onto the bench seat and shoved at the hatch in the ceiling.
"What are you doing?" I demanded, grabbing his arm before he was able to push the hatch open.
"We can't leave him that way!" Quil said in response. "We can't."
I jerked my head towards the window and looked towards where Quil was pointing.
At first I didn't see anything except the dead that were pawing at the RV, trying to get in.
Then, out of the sea of faces, I recognized one. With the hook nose, the square freckled face, I could tell it was Arnold despite the way he'd been mangled.
"Oh god…" Esme moaned.
"Do it," I hissed, letting go of Quil's arm.
Arnold didn't deserve to be left that way. He was a good man that should be allowed dignity in death.
Quil shoved open the hatch and pushed his gun and then his torso out of the hatch so that he could make the shot.
With only one blast of his gun, Quil gave Arnold mercy. As much as it was hard to watch, I was thankful that his body wasn't damned to continue on.
"Rest in peace, my friend," Carlisle said and the rest of us echoed his words.
Then, I noticed another familiar face only a few feet behind Arnold.
Blind hatred consumed me as I took in the greasy blonde hair and gaunt face of the man that tortured me and destroyed our home.
I wanted to tear him apart with my bare hands. I wanted him to suffer like he was making my family suffer, but he was already dead.
I stood up and pulled on Quil's leg before he got the idea to put a bullet in our enemy's head as vengeance. Vengeance was leaving him as one of the dead.
Quil slipped back inside and looked at me in surprise.
"James doesn't deserve a merciful death," I snarled and Quil nodded in understanding.
And with that, we drove out of the community and made our way towards Camden Head.
Some dead trailed after the RV as we left Elmherst, but with Emmett driving at a fast pace, they couldn't keep up. Their momentum would continue their march in this direction unless something distracted them. However, we'd be inside the building by the time they reached us.
The building had not weathered the last two years well. More windows were broken and it looked as if the doors that led into the building were hanging practically off their hinges.
The fire escape that led up to the top floors that had been used by Ben's group was still intact, which was a relief. We had no way of predicting whether any of the dead had made it inside or whether there were other survivors that had staked a claim on the building. So the fire escape was our safest bet.
Emmett pulled the RV into the alley next to the apartment complex and put it in park.
"You guys stay with the RV," Emmett said. "Let Quil and I check it out first."
Without waiting for us to agree, Emmett gestured for Quil to follow him as he exited the vehicle.
With guns drawn, the two of them slipped across the alleyway and up the fire escape that had been made into an obstacle course by Ben's people to prevent the dead from climbing the stairs.
We waited in silence as minutes ticked by. The longer we waited the more nervous we became.
I was just about to haul out my weapon and follow after them when we saw Emmett step out of the building at the top of the ladder and beckon for us to join them.
Bella and I led the way while Katie and Seth helped Mrs. Cope climb the stairs and the others trailed behind, carrying the boxes of food.
When I reached the top of the stairs, I saw the stressed look on Emmett's face and knew that they all weren't here.
"Who's missing?" I asked.
"Ben, Angela, and Isaac are here," he said. "There's been no sign of Jasper, Alice, and Clara."
I nodded, letting his words sink in.
Stepping past him, I made my way towards Ben and Angela's old apartment.
Pushing open the door, I was relieved to see my friends, looking ragged but still very much alive.
"Edward," Ben sighed in relief. "I was worried that no one got my message."
Angela got up from where she was sitting on the couch and went to Bella, pulling her into a hug.
"We brought what we could," I said, gesturing towards the boxes of food that Leah, Embry, and Rose, and Claire were carrying.
It wasn't a lot.
"Good… good…" he said, rubbing a hand down over his face. "Do you know about any of the others?"
"Emily, and a few of the new women are gone," I said, trying to keep my voice as even as possible. "Siobhan and the children are missing, but there were signs of a struggle."
I heard Angela gasp behind us, but Ben just nodded grimly.
"I gave Arnold mercy," Quil said, his voice breaking.
I was glad that he was using those words. After he'd taken care of Mrs. Weber and Josh's animated corpses, I'd explained to him how it was mercy what he did.
I could tell that his words affected Ben, but he'd put on his mantle as leader and was suppressing his feelings.
"Let's set the apartments up here. We'll go back to the community in a couple of days when the dead will hopefully have wandered off. We can salvage what we can and search for survivors."
I nodded tiredly and looked around the room.
Out of the 32 people that had moved into Elmherst, only half of us were here.
My anger resurged and it was hard to push it away.
Insomnia plagued my nights. When I needed to be clear-headed I wanted to sleep, but the minute it was time to lay down, I became restless. I wanted to sleep, I was desperate for it, but it just wouldn't come.
An unnamed emotion was simmering inside of me and it only got worse as the days passed.
Two days ago, I'd gone back to Elmherst with Embry and Emmett, but there was nothing left. We searched the houses for survivors and siphoned gas from the vehicles, but that was all that remained of our home. Even if we could have repaired the wall, there was nothing to protect.
We set up Camden Head as best we could. Winter would be here before we knew it and we had to be prepared, but we weren't sure that we had enough food to survive it.
The others were grieving the loss of our home and friends, but I couldn't do it. There was something holding the emotions at bay and I felt disrespectful that I couldn't mourn my people.
It frustrated and depressed Bella that I couldn't share her grief. I found it hard even to comfort her when she'd wake crying in the night.
When she'd fall into a restless sleep, I would often slip out of our bed and wander the building. I told myself that I was searching for supplies, but really it was that I wanted to be away from people.
Then, when winter had just taken hold, the unthinkable happened. Mrs. Cope got sick. Her frail body wasn't able to weather the cold and the limited amount of food.
A group of us left the apartments and searched the city for any medical supplies that could help, but there was nothing.
"Her body is just giving out. At her age, she can't handle these conditions," Carlisle said, sadness clear in his voice.
"There has to be something I can do!" I practically shouted at Carlisle. "You're a doctor for Christ sake."
Carlisle looked surprised at the way I lashed out at him.
I knew it wasn't his fault, but I couldn't control it. An anger that shocked even myself was taking over me.
"Edward, she's almost 80 years old. In the old world, this would have eventually happened too. There's no cure for old age. We'll make her comfortable and she's surrounded by people who love her."
"That's not good enough!" I yelled, stepping closer to him. "You're not doing enough!"
Emmett grabbed my arm, but I shook him off.
"Fuck off, Emmett!" I screamed in his face. "I'm going to hurt him."
The rage that was now clawing its way out of me felt good in a way. It was a release of that unnamed emotion that had kept me prisoner for weeks.
"Edward, chill out," Emmett said in a far too reasonable voice for my liking.
"Shut the fuck up, Emmett!" I yelled, looking around the room for an outlet to my rage.
That was when my eyes settled on Bella who was looking at me with a deep sadness or it may have even been pity.
I glared at her, not wanting her to feel sorry for me.
"Don't look at me that way, Bella! I'm not going to roll over like a dog and accept what's happening. I'm not just going to cry and pretend that everything is going to get better. It's NOT!"
"Edward…" she said, stepping towards me.
"Don't!" I shouted, pointing at her. "Don't try to touch me. I don't need it and I don't want it!"
The look of hurt that crossed her face was too much, so I pushed my way past everyone that had gathered in the doorway of Carlisle's apartment and began to run.
I had no goal as to where I was going, but I just needed to get away.
It wasn't long before I found myself outside and I took a deep breath to try to calm myself. It was cold, but the sharpness to the air felt good. The wind passed almost unhindered down the street, funneled past the tall buildings and through the empty streets. It made my eyes water, but I didn't try to cover my face. The pain felt good.
It was then that I saw a few dead in the distance and the sight of them enraged me and all I wanted to do was kill them. So without really thinking about it, I hurried to the RV to grab an axe that was hidden under one of the seats and ran after the dead.
There were only four of them, but it was enough for now. The anger that I'd been keeping buried as much as I could surged out of me and it felt good to let it out.
I took my time with the dead, not wanting it to be over too soon. I hacked at them with ferocity but not enough to kill them. Then, when I felt my arms tiring, I put them down.
Breathing heavily, I looked down at what I'd done, feeling a little bit sick but also relaxed for the first time in what felt like forever.
Looking down at myself, I was surprised to see that I wasn't covered in zombie blood. I could easily hide it when I got back inside. I knew that the others wouldn't approve of what I'd done. I wasn't sure that I even did, but I couldn't deny that I was pleased about the drowsiness that was now infiltrating my body.
I snuck back inside the apartment building when it was dark and slipped into my apartment. Bella was already in bed, so I was able to change out of my clothes and crawl in bed without her noticing.
Almost the minute my head hit the pillow, I was asleep.
"Where do you go at night?" Bella asked me one night as I pretended to get ready to go to sleep.
"Nowhere," I said, gruffly. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You don't have to tell me," she snapped, "but don't lie to me, Edward. You go out almost every night."
Things had been tense between Bella and me in the last couple of weeks, but I couldn't explain to her what I was doing. She wouldn't understand. She didn't have the rage in her that seemed to be ever present under the surface with me. I needed to release it and it was better to use the dead as an outlet than the people I loved.
"It's none of your business what I'm doing," I snapped back.
"Yes, it is. You are my business," she said, glaring at me.
"I'm always here when you need me, right? Am I neglecting you? Is that what this is all about?" I snarled.
"You know that's not it, Edward," she said. "There's something wrong and it is putting a wall between us. Don't you care about that? I know you can feel it too."
I knew she was right, but I didn't want to back down. My hands clenched at my sides and I clenched my jaw in an attempt not to say something that I'd regret later.
The glare dropped off her face only to be replaced with tiredness.
"Never mind. Don't worry about it, Edward," she said, softly as she pulled back the blankets and climbed into bed. "You keep doing what you're doing since it seems to be working so well for you."
I climbed into bed next to her, but I couldn't relax with this coldness growing between us. I was hurting her and I didn't like it. After tossing and turning for a while, I turned to her, wanting to fix things.
"Everything's fine, Bella," I said, gently. "I just need time to myself sometimes."
"Okay," Bella said, rolling over to face me. "I'm just worried about you. I love you."
"I love you too," I said, pulling her into my arms. "I'm sorry."
I made love to her slowly, trying to infuse every touch with an apology for hurting her.
I didn't want there to be a wall between us, but if I told her what I was doing at night, she'd try to put a stop to it. She'd say I was being reckless, putting myself in danger. I knew she was right, but I needed it. It was the only thing that helped me sleep. So after Bella's breathing evened out, I slid my way out from underneath of her and left the apartment.
I should have known that things wouldn't last.
About a week later after I'd just gotten finished putting down a cluster of dead, I looked up and saw that Bella was standing only a short distance away, watching me with an unreadable look on her face.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, both alarmed and angry.
"I followed you. I've followed you for the last couple of nights."
"What the fuck, Bella!" I snarled. "This is my business, not yours."
"I just don't understand what you're doing, Edward," she said in confusion.
"I'm getting rid of the dead," I said. "That's what we do. We kill the dead to protect the living."
She stared at me with concern.
"You're not just killing them, Edward. You're hunting them and then toying with them before you give them mercy," she said.
"And?" I snapped.
"It's wrong…" she said, taking a step towards me, but I took a step back.
"How's it wrong? They're already dead," I said, guilt gnawing at my stomach.
"You're not supposed to enjoy it," she said. "These were people. They don't deserve what you're doing to them."
I looked down at the slaughtered corpses at my feet and saw what she was seeing.
I was behaving like a monster.
"I need it," I said, my voice dropping to almost a whisper. "I can't stop."
"Why?" she asked, stepping towards me.
"The anger is too much. I have to release it. If I don't, it takes over my every thought. I can't eat, I can't sleep."
"Edward…" she said, stepping close enough that she rested her hand on my chest.
"Bella, I-"
What I was going to say was cut off by a strange sound. I jerked my head in the direction it was coming from, clenching my axe in my hand.
However, it took only a moment for me to recognize the sound- a baby crying.
Standing against the backdrop of the light from the full moon was the silhouette of a woman holding a bundle in her arms.
"Alice!" Bella shouted, running towards the petite woman with joy infusing her voice.