Written for QLFC - S3 - Round 5

Honestly, waking up at five in the morning to an owl pooping on his face wasn't his idea of an ideal eleventh birthday.

Remus yelled, swatting blindly at the tiny thing. It simply finished its dump before fluttering daintily over to sit on his desk chair. It tilted its head at him, and even had the audacity to look affronted.

Remus was now fully awake. He glared balefully at it, tossing the covers aside and carefully advancing on his stolen desk chair. He was just about to lunge when he saw the neat little envelope sitting on his desk that had most definitely not been there in the morning. Reaching past the bird, he picked it up and flipped it over, noting the red wax seal and ... oh no. A Hogwarts letter.

Remus stared down at it in barely concealed shock, and then turned to look at the bird. He could've sworn it grinned at him.

He couldn't, and wasn't going to deal with this at five in the morning.

Remus very calmly placed the letter down and scooped up the owl. It fit snugly into his hands; it was that small. Striding over to the window, he opened it and tossed the owl out, ignoring its indignant squawk.

Then, he crawled back into bed and fell asleep.

In a godlier hour of the morning, he awoke again, and this time, he was blissfully alone. There was still dried owl poop on his face, but he could wash it off later. Stumbling lethargically out of bed, he glanced again at his desk, and his heart nearly stopped in his chest.

The letter was gone.

It was just... gone. Where'd it go? Where could it possibly go?

Remus heart thumped dangerously in his chest as he mechanically went through his morning routine. He made his bed. He washed his face (twice, even!) and brushed his teeth; got dressed and went down to breakfast.

"Happy birthday!" His mum and dad stood by the kitchen table, where a small cake was sitting at the head. In the excitement of his early hour adventure, he had nearly forgotten that he was eleven starting today.

Remus smiled, feeling his spirits begin to lift at the sight. That was when he saw it.

The owl. Sitting on his mum's shoulder. It twisted its head around and fixed him with a stare straight from the depths of hell.

"Where did you find that?" he demanded.

"Her," his mum corrected. "The owl is a she, and she came to us today with your Hogwarts letter!"

The owl cooed in agreement, nuzzling her head against his mum's arm. She beamed, to Remus' horror. He swiveled his head to watch his dad, but he also had a melty look on his face as he watched the two interact. Remus flopped bonelessly into his chair in defeat.

"Right," he said tiredly. "Okay. But the thing is that I'm not going to Hogwarts."

Three heads turned to stare at him in sync and it was quite possibly the creepiest thing ever.

"But Remus," his mum started. She shared a worried look with his dad.

A pause.

"Sorry mum," he said quietly. "But I won't go. I can't go."

The owl fluttered her wings and that was his only warning before she launched herself at his face. Remus flailed slightly, tearing her off before she did any more damage to his face.

Panting, he met the golden gaze of the owl. She pecked his hand.

"Ow!" he hissed, letting go. The owl flew away and perched on his dad's shoulder smugly this time.

Remus scrubbed at his face. There were a couple scratches, but nothing too bad.

"Why don't we all eat some cake first?" his mum said diplomatically. "I'm sure we'll all feel better on a full stomach."

She gave him an expectant look, and he sighed before nodded dutifully. They all settled down around the table, with the owl now occupying the empty space in front of him.

Remus squinted at her neck as he glumly started on the piece of cake. It was chocolate, but the fact didn't cheer him up as much as it usually did. "I think she has a name tag," he realized.

"Oh! Where?" His mum reached a hand out towards the owl's neck, and lifted up the small wooden oval that hung around a string.

"Lupa," she read aloud. "Such a pretty name for such a pretty girl, aren't you! Aren't you?"

Lupa rubbed her head against his mum's arm and cooed again, much to his everlasting dismay. Remus quickly finished his cake and stood, intent on things other than the scene in front of him. He had left off in the middle of a book yesterday, and he was planning on finishing it. That was a good plan and all, but the only problem was that he seemed to have an owl stuck to his shadow.

She seemed determined to make sure his letter was completely and utterly delivered before she could even think of leaving. Where he went, she went. If he went upstairs, she went upstairs. If he went to the bathroom, she swooped in before he could slam the door shut.

(The letter nearly ended up in the toilet. She guarded the letter much more carefully after that.)

His dad thought it was adorable. Remus, on the other hand, was in owl stalking hell.

The only time she left was during lunch, where she was fed bit and pieces of leftover chicken, and was generally pampered by his parents. Remus took the opportunity to sneak down to the river with his book. Of course, the peace didn't last long. (Or, at all.)

It only took her two minutes to figure out where he had hidden himself. Remus wondered if she had a built in GPS. She landed neatly on his leg and gave him a reproachful look.

He frowned at her as she tried to push aside his book with a claw.

"Stop that," he said. She stared intently at him. Her expression didn't change one whit, but Remus could feel the force of her hypothetical eye roll.

It was sad that he could read an owl's expressions far better than he could a human's.

He set the book off in the grass to his side, and looked firmly at her.

"I am not going to Hogwarts," he enunciated carefully.

She hopped forward onto his knee. Then, she pecked his hand. Again.

Tears of pain sprung to his eyes.

"Is this even part of your job description," he said wearily.

She nodded her head and hooted softly.

"Seriously," Remus said flatly, and then shook his head. "No, that doesn't matter. I'm not going. It's too dangerous for someone like me to go."

The owl did the rolling eye impression again, and then ripped open the top of the letter. Remus gaped at her in surprise.

"Hey!" he yelled, wrangling it from her. "What are you doing? Aren't you just supposed to deliver it, not open it?"

She jerked her head impatiently at the second paper that came with the first. Remus, warily, picked it up and skimmed through it.

"…Oh," he said numbly.

It suddenly felt like his world had shifted slightly in some barely perceptible way and yet still noticeable. Like the colours were a bit brighter, or like he was looking through a blurred lens this whole time and had finally decided to wipe them.

Dear Remus, the letter began. I am writing to you to inform you of some special precautions that have been placed in order to ensure your happy and safe life at Hogwarts.

He could… go to Hogwarts. He actually could. If he wanted to, he could do to Hogwarts right there and right now.

Remus looked at the owl, and the owl looked back at him.

…

Remus quietly entered the house again, shutting the door behind him with a quiet click. His mum was sitting in the living room, scribbling down something for her online insurance work.

"Mum," he said. She paused in her work and looked up at him.

"Is it okay for me to go to Hogwarts?"

She smiled gently at him, and then moved to scoop him up into a warm embrace.

"Of course it is, honey! Hold on just a second," she said, drawing back and heading into the kitchen. He blinked curiously at her departure. She was back just as quickly as she left, but with a strange box in her hand this time.

"I was saving this for later, but it's your birthday present. Go on, open it."

Remus lifted off the lid, and stilled in surprise. His throat tightened as he stared down at the object.

"This is—"

"Your new Hogwarts robes," his mum said with a laugh. "Dumbledore, you remember him yes? Dumbledore came to see me and your dad a couple months ago, and told us that you would be sent an acceptance letter, with special provisions for your needs, of course. So we went and bought this already."

Remus slipped it on, feeling the soft material slide across his arms.

"I love it already," he whispered contently. Lupa, who had been quietly sitting on the table behind him and watching the scene, cooed. She then turned and left through the window.

Her work here was done.