A:N/ The benefits of a Canadian winter is that when I'm snowed in I can get some writing done :)

Chapter 41: Hope

EDWARD

Bella reached Alice before I did and Alice practically collapsed in her arms.

Clara let out a wail, not liking the way she was pressed between them. I pulled her out of Alice's arms, soothing her as her mother fell apart. Clara's blonde curls were matted to her forehead, but thankfully she looked healthy. She let out a squawk of happiness and grabbed my hair in a tight grip when she recognized me, completely oblivious to the dangers around her.

"Thank god, you're safe, Alice," Bella said, pulling away to look at her face.

However, Alice didn't look at us in relief.

"I need your help," she said. "Jasper's hurt."

"Was he bitten?" Bella asked, her eyes widening in horror.

"No. He cut his leg and it's infected," she said, a look of fear in her eyes.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"He's in that store two buildings down," she gestured. "He couldn't walk any further. I'll take you to him."

"No," I said, a bit too abruptly. "Bella will take you and Clara to Camden Head and I'll get Jasper."

"Edward…" Bella and Alice said at the same time.

"Just go," I said, handing the baby to Alice but looking at Bella. "You need to get Clara inside before the dead hear her crying."

The tone that I used when speaking to her was harsh and she flinched.

I couldn't control it. I was still really angry that she'd been spying on me. Our lives were so intertwined that we did everything together. Every thought, every action was shared like we were the same person and for the first time I hated it.

"Please, Edward…" she said, not backing down.

"You need to protect her from any dead that might be around," I said and then headed down the street without waiting for her response.

I reached the shoe store without encountering any dead, which I was thankful for. If Jasper had a serious infection, it could kill him so I had to be fast.

I saw him the moment I slipped into the building.

Alice had attempted to make him as comfortable as possible, using their coats as a pillow, but there was no furniture for him to lie on, so he was sprawled on the floor.

His face was red and his skin glistened with sweat. When I knelt down next to him, I could practically feel the heat radiating off of him.

"Jesus…" I said which startled him awake.

"Edward," he croaked. "Where's Alice?"

Even though his eyes were glassy, he looked panicked when he didn't see her.

"Bella's taken her back to Camden Head," I responded. "Can you walk? It's not far."

"I don't know. My leg is on fire," he grunted as he tried to climb to his feet.

As he began to move, his ripped pant leg fell open and I could clearly see the jagged cut that stretched up his calf.

It had been stitched crudely which thankfully had stopped the bleeding, but the skin around the wound was red and swollen and there looked like pus leaking from it.

I knew only too well how he must have been feeling. Before Carlisle had cleaned the stitches in my stomach while I was being held prisoner by James, I'd been in agony and had a high fever. But my wound looked nowhere near as bad as this.

"Holy shit," I hissed. "What the hell did you do?"

"I cut it on a piece of glass from a broken window," he rasped. "Alice tried to stitch it, but we didn't have anything to clean it with."

The strength seemed to leave him as if just speaking to me had taken everything out of him.

I knew then that I wouldn't be able to get him to Camden Head on my own. Even if Bella had come with me, we wouldn't have been able to carry him.

"I need to get help. I can't carry you on my own," I explained and Jasper nodded, his eyes falling shut.

But just as I stood up ready to leave, his eyes flew open and he grabbed my leg.

"Edward!" he gasped desperately. "You can't let them take my leg. I need to be able to protect Alice and Clara. I can't lose a leg. Promise me, Edward. Don't let them!"

His eyes were slightly unfocused as he said this, but I knew that he was lucid enough to know what he wanted.

"I'll do what I can, Jasper. You just need to keep fighting until I get back here with help," I said as soothingly as I was capable.

"I need to go," I said, prying his fingers off my leg. The longer I waited the worse the infection was going to get.

Jasper let go and slumped onto the floor again, his eyes closing.

Quickly, I hurried to the door and out onto the street.

I cursed in anger when I saw that there were six dead waiting for me.

"I don't have time for this, fuckers," I growled, slashing at them.

A middle-aged female zombie in a stained dress was the first to reach me. I slammed my shoulder against her in order to give me time to haul out my machete. The force of the impact sent her skeletal form stumbling backwards, letting out a ghastly moan from her decomposed face. It didn't take her long to lunge for me again, but I was ready and she was easy to get rid of. However, there were others with her that had surrounded me by this point.

I swung my machete at them, spinning in a circle to keep them off my back.

I growled and shouted at them, not enjoying the fight at all this time. I had to help Jasper and they were slowing me down.

After killing the third, they were beginning to overpower me.

That was when I heard voices coming down the street.

"Over here, assholes," Emmett boomed, catching the attention of two of the dead while I grappled with the last one.

Carlisle was with him, so between the three of us it was easy to put the rest of them down.

"Where's Jasper?" Carlisle asked.

"This way," I said, gesturing for him to follow me. "He can't walk on his own, so we're going to have to carry him."

They both nodded and together we hurried into the shop.

Jasper was lying on his side now, writhing in pain.

"Jasper," I said, dropping to my knees next to him and gripping his shoulder.

Even through his clothes, he was hot to the touch.

Jasper moaned in response, but his eyes were still clenched shut.

Carlisle had folded back the ripped edges of his pant leg and was gently pressing around the edges of the wound.

Jasper let out a cry of pain and then groaned as he tried to yank his leg away from Carlisle.

"We need to get him to Camden Head now," Carlisle said urgently.

"You get his arms and I'll get his legs," I said to Emmett.

Emmett nodded and hooked his hands under Jasper's armpits.

Gingerly, I grabbed his ankles and climbed to my feet gingerly, but even that movement caused Jasper to cry out in pain.

As carefully as we could, we left the store and made our way to Camden Head.

Thankfully, half way there, Jasper lapsed into unconsciousness which let us move more quickly.

However, climbing the stairs of Camden Head was painfully slow.

"Take him to my apartment," Carlisle said when we finally made it to the top of the stairs.

Esme, Carlisle, and Chris were staying in one of the larger apartments with four bedrooms. Mrs. Cope was sleeping in one and Jasper would be put in the other.

Before we'd reached the door, Alice was in the hallway, looking at us and wringing her hands in anxiety.

When she saw that he was limp in our arms, she gasped her eyes going wide.

"Is he—" she began, but Carlisle spoke before she finished.

"He's unconscious," he said. "I need someone to boil some salt water. You'll have to use the fire pit on the roof."

"I'll do it," Bella said, appearing at Alice's side.

"I'll help you," I said, grabbing the pot and our meagre supply of salt from Esme who had brought it to the doorway. "We can use the snow on the roof for water."

I didn't want to be alone with her, but helping Jasper was more important than the tension between me and Bella.

Once the water was on the grill over the fire, Bella decided to get into an argument with me.

"We need to talk about what you've been doing at night," she said.

"No, we really don't," I said, dismissively.

Why couldn't she just leave it alone?

"Edward, why are you doing it?" she asked, her tone annoyingly calm.

For some reason it angered me.

"Because it makes me feel good. I like it," I said, not looking at her.

"No you don't…" she said.

"What do you know about it?" I practically shouted at her. "You don't know anything."

"You're hurting and this is your way to avoid it instead of dealing with how you're feeling," she said.

"You're wrong," I said, staring straight ahead at the cityscape.

The city spread below me, making the world feel so vast and open that for a moment I wanted to just slip away into it and disappear. From this distance, it looked like gigantic slabs of concrete soaring out of sidewalks, like a labyrinth in which a person could disappear into.

"Scream, shout, hit something, just let it out. Don't cover it up with torturing the dead," Bella begged, interrupting my thoughts of escape.

"That's not what's happening," I said, stubbornly.

"It's understandable that you're angry. We all have things to be angry about and things to be sad about," she said.

"You're fucking condescending, you know that?" I said, trying to hurt her with my words.

Bella held still, staring at me, eyes locked right on mine. Her face was scrunched up in anger, muscles tight, jaw clenched as she forced herself not to take the bait.

She swallowed her anger and said, "I'm not going to argue with you. I know you, Edward. What you're doing isn't going to help and you know it. Remember what you were like before you met me? What did you call it? You said you were just a killing machine. Do you really want to go back to that?"

I didn't say anything. Instead, I looked back out at the city and ignored her.

"The water's boiling. Can you carry it in?" she asked after a few moments of tense silence.

She turned and walked away from me, knowing that I'd soon follow.

She was wrong. I'd never felt this level of anger in the time before her. I'd felt nothing. Now, I only felt anger or exhilaration with I killed the dead.

Hauling the pot of boiling water off the fire, I carried it inside.

It was a flurry of activity in Carlisle's apartment.

Alice was running to and from the bedroom with Jasper in it with cool cloths that she'd draped in front of the open window which let the winter air inside.

I stepped to the doorway of Jasper's room with the pot of hot water.

Even stripped down, I could tell that Jasper was still burning with fever. Alice was using the cool cloths on his forehead, but I knew it wouldn't do any good unless Carlisle could get the infection under control.

"Put the pot on the nightstand Edward," Carlisle said without looking up from where he'd set up what looked like household items that he was going to use as medical supplies.

"Hold down his legs, Emmett," he said and in horror I watched Carlisle slice open the stitches, letting out yellowish pus. Jasper cried out in agony and then fell unconscious.

I stepped away from the room because there was nothing I could do and there were too many people in the room already.

I thought about going back up on the roof until I looked into Mrs. Cope's room and saw that she was awake and was waving at me.

Lying helplessly on the bed, she held out her gnarled hand to me. Her smile was tired, but she still had the spark in her eye that I associated with the strong woman who had helped our group survive and ordered us around like a drill sergeant.

I took her hand and felt a lump in my throat as her normally strong grip held mine limply.

Sitting in the chair next to her bed, I smiled as I looked intently at her, just as she looked at me.

The wrinkles and folds of her skin were now so pronounced it was hard to tell what she must have looked like as a young woman. However, each wrinkle seemed to tell a story. The deep crow's feet around her eyes told of a life full of laughter. However, the equally deep lines around her mouth told of a strong woman who had been stern when she needed to be.

"How are you?" I asked, gently.

A smile twisted her face as she looked at me wryly.

"Never mind," she rasped in a quivering voice. "What's going on out there? Who's doing all the screaming?"

"It's Jasper. He's got a pretty serious infection in his leg. Carlisle's cleaning it with salt water," I explained. Jasper must have woken up because the screaming had started again and it was horrific.

At my words, she tried to prop herself up in bed, but failed. Her now thin arms were too frail to lift herself.

I jumped to my feet and carefully helped her get propped up against the pillows.

"What else is Carlisle giving him?" she asked.

"I don't know. We lost all our medical supplies and we haven't been able to find anything useful in the city."

"Do we have any of the cloves of garlic left?" she asked, looking at me inquisitively.

"I think so, but I haven't checked the supplies in the last couple of days," I said.

"Can you get Esme for me?" she asked me.

I hurried to the door and called for Esme.

In seconds, Esme was in the room and taking my seat by the bed.

"How are you Esther?" she asked.

"Why do people keep asking me that? I'm old that's how I am," she grumbled and despite the situation it made me chuckle.

"Get Carlisle to make a poultice for Jasper out of the freshest garlic we have left. It's what we used to use for infections when we couldn't afford antibiotics. Crush it up and let it sit for about 15 minutes. Then, you can put the paste directly on his wound skin or if you have very thin cloth, you can layer it on top of it. Then, cover it up with a piece of clean cloth to keep in the moisture. If you put it directly on his skin, don't leave it on for longer than 20 minutes because it could burn the boy's skin," she explained.

Esme nodded and smiled gratefully.

"You're a godsend, Esther," Esme said, gripping her hand in both of hers.

"None of that," Mrs. Cope said, letting go of her hand. "Go take care of that boy. He deserves all the help we can give him. I swear his is Job reincarnate."

Esme stood up and with a smile at me left the room.

I got ready to follow, but Mrs. Cope stopped me.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" she said, beckoning for me to stay.

I smiled at her, but it felt forced and she somehow knew it.

"What's wrong, Edward?" she asked, pointing at the chair next to her.

"Nothing," I said, sitting down. "I'm just tired."

"I know you, young man. I know what you look like when you're tired. This is something else," she said, frowning.

"It's nothing, Mrs. Cope," I said, running my hand over my face.

"Edward…" she admonished.

I sighed deeply.

"Bella and I are having some issues," I said, grudgingly not wanting to talk about it.

I looked at her out of the corner of my eye and saw that she was studying me carefully.

"I think you're wrong about that," she said. "I think you're the one with the issue right now."

I bristled at her words, but when I looked at her I saw nothing but understanding.

We looked at each other for a while, not saying anything.

"You're angry," she said.

"Yes…" I practically hissed as I felt rage come bubbling up from inside.

"You're lashing out," she said. "and Bella thinks you're being reckless."

"How do you-" I said, but then stopped. "Has she been talking to you about it?"

She gripped my hand tightly as I made a move to stand up.

"No, but I've seen her and she looks wretched with worry and she'd only look that way if it was over you," she said.

I shook my head in denial.

"It's not a big deal. When I get restless, I go out and get rid of the dead in the area," I said with a shrug.

"By yourself…" she said.

I sighed again in exasperation.

"I used to do it all the time before I met Bella and I wasn't all that experienced killing them yet. She's overreacting," I said, before standing up and beginning to pace.

"I just need to be out there, sometimes," I said, running my hand through my hair in exasperation.

"None of what is happening to us now is your fault, you know that right?" she asked, seriously which made me freeze.

"Look at me, Edward," she snapped when I looked away. The sharpness of her voice caused her to convulse in a rattling cough that shook her entire body.

All the fight left me as she struggled to catch her breath.

I met her eyes reluctantly as I sat back down next to her.

"Talk," she ordered as she got her coughing under control.

"Ever since the world fell apart, I've fought tooth and nail to survive. I've fought the dead. I've almost died over and over again fighting them. I've killed people. I don't even know how many... And I was willing to do all of it to protect my family and home because I thought that eventually we would get to a point where we'd be able to have a real life."

I had to take a breath before continuing.

"I thought we'd finally made it. I thought we'd found the light at the end of the tunnel, but just like always things fell apart. Now our home is gone. Our friends are dead. None of what we did was enough, so what is the fucking point of it all?" I snarled, blurting it all out at once.

It took a moment for her to respond, but when she did her words echoed in my head.

"We're in the middle of a war, Edward—a war against the dead, a war against the living. This is a harsh world that none of us want to be living in, but in the midst of it all we've had happiness. Yes, it's been fleeting, but we have to hang onto that. You need to continue searching for a safe haven. You found Elmherst. You'll find another."

Another cough took a hold of her and the frailty I saw in her broke my heart.

"It's too hard," I said and was shocked that it came out in a sob.

"You're right," she said. "But that doesn't mean you stop trying. And I don't mean by killing the dead. Those bastards are always going to be around. There's no amount of killing that's going to stop that. We all turn when we die, so it's a fact of life we have to deal with."

"I can't do it any more…" I said and covered my face as the involuntary tears came.

"Yes, you can," she said, in a firm yet gentle voice.

When her hand settled on my head, stroking my hair, I completely lost it.

"You have a lot to live for, Edward," she said in a quiet voice. "You have Bella. You have the rest of your family—Emmett, Rose, Jasper and Alice. You have Clara who adores you and needs a strong uncle to show her the way as she grows up in this unforgiving world. These are the things you have to hold onto."

I couldn't speak. I was too overcome. It was like all the anger that I'd had inside me turned to grief and it was pouring out of me in a steady stream that I couldn't staunch.

It shouldn't have surprised me when I felt a pair of arms come around my shoulders and clutch me tightly. Bella seemed to always know when I needed her.

It took me a long time to calm down, but neither Mrs. Cope nor Bella let up in their attempts to soothe me.

Finally, with a shuddering sigh, I sat up in the seat and opened my eyes.

Bella lifted her head off my shoulder and looked into my eyes with all the compassion that I'd tried to ignore for weeks.

"I'm sorry…" I said and it was the first time that I truly meant it.

"I know…" she said, kissing my forehead. "It's okay."

I looked away from her and met Mrs. Cope's eyes.

"Thank you," I said with a voice choked with emotion.

She smiled at me and patted my hand.

"I think I need a nap. Being a psychologist is tiring work."

I smiled wryly at her and stood up. But before I left, I impulsively leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"I love you, Nana," I said, with a weak grin.

"You get out of here, you handsome devil," she said with a weak cackle. "Use your charming ways on your girl."

Neither Bella nor I spoke when we left Carlisle's apartment which was blessedly quiet now.

I hoped the silence meant that Jasper was resting peacefully.

We made our way back to our apartment and went about making lunch.

Bella cut up a few potatoes and carrots that we ate raw because we didn't want to go up to the roof to cook over the fire. I was sure that there would be other people up there now and I didn't want to be around anyone else.

I was tired, really tired. I could barely keep my eyes open as we ate.

"I think I'm just going to take a nap," I said with a yawn.

"Okay," she said and then hesitated. "Can I join you?"

I nodded.

We'd never not shared a bed, but things had been cold between us for a couple of weeks and it was clear that we still had a lot to talk about before we stopped being hesitant with each other.

Once we were both settled under the blankets, I grabbed Bella's hand and squeezed.

"I'll stop going out at night," I said.

"Okay," she sighed, moving closer to me.

"I'm cold, Edward," she said, softly. "Will you keep me warm?"

I exhaled in relief and pulled her into my arms.

Without a word, we drifted off to sleep and for the first time in a long time I didn't wake all night.

Jasper's leg healed slowly, but it was touch and go at first.

Carlisle had thought in the beginning that to save his life he'd have to take off his leg, but Jasper refused and I supported him because I'd promised.

The garlic worked, but we didn't have a lot of it. However, when we ran out, Mrs. Cope said that raw potato could also work to draw out infection.

We didn't have a lot of those left either, but no one argued with some of our precious food going to heal Jasper.

We owed him our lives more times than we could count.

I think he was a little overwhelmed with the stream of visitors that came to see him.

Jasper had been on the outside looking in on our lives for so long now that I think he had a hard time accepting the love people wanted to show him.

Being forced to stay in bed as he healed was also good for him mentally. Slowly, he began letting down his guard. He began to trust that the rest of us could protect Alice and Clara when he couldn't. Alice said until recently Jasper had never in the entire time she'd known him slept through the night without bolting awake at some point.

Then, there was the day when I'd walked into his room and found him playing checkers with Isaac and Chris. I was so shocked that I almost gasped, but I was able to squash it in time without them noticing. None of them even looked up as they laughed together.

We were in the heart of winter, when our food supply could no longer sustain us. At first, I was hungry, obsessively thinking about food as hunger gnawed at my stomach. Then after a couple of days, I almost got used to the feeling and I just felt weak. Carlisle said that we had to conserve as much of our strength as possible because our bodies were using up our fat stores to keep us mobile. We still tried to go out and search for food, but it was becoming harder and harder to gather the energy.

Many of us had secretly created a schedule to give up our rations on different days so we could give them to the people who needed them more, like the children, Mrs. Cope, Alice who was still nursing and Angela who was pregnant.

I tried to give some of mine to Bella, but she refused.

I was extremely worried about how her hips jutted out and her ribs were becoming more defined. At night when she was asleep, I traced the outline of every bone that was protruding, trying to think of a solution before we all slowly starved to death.

In the midst of our struggle with starvation, we lost Mrs. Cope. Her body just couldn't handle the lack of food and one morning she just didn't wake up.

I was devastated by her death as were we all, but we were so weak by that point that we didn't have the energy to truly grieve for her.

Then, one day we heard Emmett give the signal that there were intruders attempting to get into the building.

Even though we were all weak, people's reactions were immediate.

Everyone with bows or crossbows got on the roof or fire escape in order to watch the two people climb the stairs.

Once they were about two floors away, I recognized them.

"It's Peter and I think that's Tia," I called out in surprise.

"It's us," Peter called out when they got closer. "Don't shoot."

Everyone let out a cheer as Emmett hurried down the stairs to grab the packs that the two of them were dragging up the stairs with them.

"Thank god, man," Emmett said. "We didn't think you made it. You too, Tia. It's great to see you."

We ushered them inside and to Ben and Angela's apartment which had become the gathering place.

I slumped down onto the couch exhausted by expending that amount of energy.

Peter was clearly shocked by how we looked. Neither he nor Tia showed signs of hunger.

"We've brought food," Peter said. "It looks like you all need it."

He pointed at the two packs in Emmett's hands.

Bella and Esme hurried to him and began unloading the vegetables and cans of food that were in the bags.

"It took us a while to find where Stefan had stashed all of the supplies that he'd taken from the camps he attacked," Tia said with a scowl. "The bastard had buried a lot of them. There's still more but we couldn't carry it ourselves."

At first none of us were truly listening as we stared at the food that was filling the tables.

But then the words registered in my head.

"There's more?" I gasped.

We lived out the rest of the winter by carefully controlling the amount of food we ate. It still wasn't a lot, but the signs of starvation eventually vanished and we gained enough strength to range farther in our search for food and a new home.

I started spending a lot of time outside, but not hunting the dead as I'd done before. I'd promised Bella I wouldn't do it and even though it had been hard at first I eventually realized I didn't need the release anymore.

On one of the nicer days, I couldn't handle being cooped up inside the building anymore, so I decided to spend some time on the roof reading. It wasn't my turn to go out on the expedition for food so I didn't have anything else to do. Bella was busy babysitting Clara, so I was left to myself.

The air was cold, but the sun was bright which was rejuvenating.

I read for a bit, but I'd picked the wrong book. I had seen enough death and violence that I didn't need to read about it for entertainment.

Dropping the book to the ground next to me, I stood up and stretched.

As I stared out over the city, I saw something in the far distance that caught my eye.

It was far past the flat expanse of the city and farmland surrounding it, barely a sliver of glittering light that shone when the sun came out from behind the clouds.

I stepped to the edge of the roof and shaded my eyes, trying to get a better look.

It took me a few moments for my mind to register where the reflective light was coming from. It was water… the ocean.

"Eddie… Eddie… come here, baby!" Mommy called.

I picked up the rock that I dug up with my stick and carried it to her.

"What have you got in your hand, sweetheart?"

"Mommy, it's a round rock," I crowed with delight. "It's soooo white and soft!"

Suddenly, a long white tongue slipped out of the rock and licked my hand.

With a shriek, I dropped it and sobbed in fear.

"Mommy," I wailed. "It's a monster!"

"Oh, sweetheart," she laughed gently as she pulled me into her arms.

"It's just a clam, baby."

Daddy came over and sat down next to us.

"They're delicious, Eddie. Do you want me to cook it up for supper?"

Daddy lifted it to his mouth and pretended to take a bite out of it.

"Nooo," I cried, burying my head in Mommy's long hair.

"Edward…" Mommy said, in a way that made me know that Daddy was in trouble.

Daddy just laughed and kissed her cheek.

"Do you know what other cool things we can find, Eddie?"

I looked up at him, curiously.

"Do you see that island out there?" he asked, pointing across the rolling waves of water to a group of trees and rocks that seemed to be growing out of the water.

"We can find scallops and mussels living on the rocks. They're delicious too. Shellfish is one of the main types of food that the people over there eat."

I looked at the island in surprise.

"People live there?"

"Yeah. There are quite a few families that live on that one," he said, pointing at the biggest island.

"How do they get to the store?" I asked because it seemed pretty far away.

"By boat, sweetheart," Mommy said, squeezing me in a hug.

"Don't they get lonely out there?" I asked. I wouldn't like to live there. I would miss my friends.

"They like it that way. They like to be separate from everyone else and just live off what they can fish and grow themselves."

My heart was practically beating out of my chest when I snapped out of the memory.

We wouldn't need walls. We wouldn't need guards because the dead couldn't swim and we'd hear any boats approaching. If it was a large enough island we could live there permanently.

I practically shouted with excitement before suppressing it because we weren't anywhere close to the beach where I'd spent summers with my parents. I had no idea if there were any islands around here that could become our new home.

I didn't want to get everyone's hopes up if it wasn't a possibility, so I needed to do some research before I mentioned it.

If I could find a local tourist agency, they'd have information on local vacation spots.

In the past, I would have just looked it up on the Internet, but now I had no idea.

Then, it hit me that Rose had gone to university around here so she could know about any islands nearby.

It didn't take much for me to get her alone.

I asked her to come up to the roof with me because I wanted to cook something for supper and I didn't know how to do it.

It fooled everyone else, but not Rose.

"Spill it," she said once we were alone. "Why am I here?"

I hesitated for a moment, suddenly nervous about voicing it out loud.

She looked at me expectantly with one eyebrow raised in a way that could have looked haughty if it weren't for the twinkle in her eye.

"Do you know a lot about the vacation spots around here?"

She looked at me in confusion, not expecting my train of thought.

I hurried on in nervous excitement. "I mean did you and your friends spend any time at the beach when you went to university here?"

"Some, I guess," she responded. "What's this all about?"

"I was just wondering if there are any habitable islands nearby," I said in a rush.

She looked at me seriously for a few minutes before her eyes widened.

"Oh my god," she gasped, grabbing a hold of my hand and squeezing hard. "Yeah. There are a few. I don't know whether they're habitable, but I remember some of them have cabins that are rented out over the summer."

A nervous laugh erupted out of her. Then, she yanked me into a hug.

"Do you think it's possible?" she said in a shrill voice that hurt my ear.

"I don't know," I said with a breathy laugh. "Do you know of a tourist agency around here? Somewhere that might have that kind of information?"

"Yeah. There's the Camden Tourist centre four blocks away…"

"Okay. The next time I'm on the food search crew, I'll take a look," I said.

It took me a few days before I was able to make it to the Tourist centre. I'd had to make sure that I was in the area of the Tourist centre when we spread out to search different areas.

The building with the large sign "Welcome to Camden" had seen better days.

It had obviously been ransacked by other survivors looking for anything useful which made my job harder when I saw that the tourist brochures were spread out all over the floor.

With a resigned sigh, I gathered the piles of brochures and shoved them all in my backpack.

When we got home that night, I snuck into one of the empty apartments and began to search through the brochures, taking out any that looked promising.

I'd almost lost hope of finding anything when I saw a bright blue brochure peeking out from beneath others.

On the front of the brochure there was a picture of a cartoon whale holding up a sign that said, "Welcome to McManus Island."

I opened the brochure and read what was inside.

Welcome to our beautiful island, where you will get an opportunity to simply relax, rediscover peace of mind and possibly gain some "quality time" with friends or family away from the distractions of civilization!

Whether you plan to spend a day, week or longer period on our charming little island, there are lots of activities for you to do! Whale watching, bird watching, scuba diving, fishing, canoeing, hiking, cycling, or just a little old-fashioned camping either in your own tent or in one of our rustic cabins. Cabins are open for reservation only from April until August so book early!

Come and enjoy our hospitality, taste a little seafood and just plain "enjoy yourself."

I released the air in my lungs that I'd been holding and clutched the brochure tight in my hand.

It was time for me to tell the others.

I told Bella first and after she was finished scolding me for keeping it from her she excitedly kissed me hard and then pulled me into a tight hug.

"Let's go tell Ben," she said, grabbing my hand and yanking me out of our apartment.

We found him on the roof with Angela.

When he saw us coming, he stood up with a look of resigned dread on his face. He could sense that something was different from our body language, but just like all of us he was conditioned to expect the worst.

"What is it?" he asked with a deep in-drawn breath.

Bella grabbed the brochure from me and shoved it into his hands.

He looked at it in confusion and then looked at me.

"I think I might have found us a new home," I said, in a voice full of cautious excitement.

Ben gathered everyone on the roof because it was a nice day and there was more room to talk.

Nervously, people milled around waiting for everyone to get there. I could feel the fear pouring off of some of them and it made me nervous all over again.

I didn't know whether it was right to get people's hopes up when we hadn't even been on the island to see if it was liveable.

However, Ben said it would give people hope for the future and that was something we'd been sorely lacking since Elmherst was destroyed.

"Everyone knows that nothing is a sure thing," Ben said. "In this way, we give them hope and we can get together a good expedition team that can check out the island. It's not going to be a short trip and people would notice pretty quickly if some of us were missing."

I knew he was right, but I felt responsible for all of this. I was the person giving everyone hope and I dreaded the thought of being the one to crush it if it all didn't work out.

I led Bella over to the edge of the roof and surreptitiously pointed out the sliver of ocean visible in the far distance.

She squeezed my arm in excitement, but I was still tense.

"It'll be okay, Edward," Bella said, kissing my shoulder.

Emmett and Rose stepped up next to us.

"Is it out there?" Emmett asked softly, having been told by Rose last night.

"All I know is that it's in that direction," I said in a hushed voice. "It's going to be a long trip to get there."

"Who's going?" Emmett asked.

"Not sure yet. I'm leaving that up to Ben," I said, wanting to give up the reins as quickly as possible.

"Well, I'm going," Rose said, firmly.

We all looked at her in surprise. It wasn't often that Rose willingly left the safety of our camp.

"What?" she asked, sharply when she saw us all looking at her. "I need to see that it's real for myself, no matter what we find."

The three of us nodded, feeling the same way. I planned on going and so did Bella.

"Okay, everyone's here, so let's get started," Ben called out and everyone gathered around him as he began to talk.

At first people were stunned into silence when Ben broke the news and showed them the brochure.

Just like Ben, people weren't used to hearing good news, so they were waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"We'll need to make a list of the things that the island will need to have, so that the search crew will know what we need in a new home," Ben said. "I'll be on the trip as well as Edward and Bella, but we're looking for other volunteers."

When the shock wore off, there were more than enough volunteers and then everyone crowded around the fire, excitedly jotting down a list of essentials that the island would need to have in order for us to survive there long term.

In the end, eight out of the twenty one of us were selected to go. Embry, Emmett, Rose, Bella, Ben, Katie, Quil, and me.