Thump-thump.
Voices, muffled. Frantic commotion.
Thump-thump.
Total darkness alternated with bright light and indistinct moving shapes.
Thump-thump.
The darkness was peaceful, inviting, calm. The lights brought with them agony the likes of which he'd never experienced before.
But she was there.
Thump-thump.
He couldn't distinguish her voice from the others, but he could sense her there with him. He knew he was being touched, but he couldn't physically comprehend it. His chest felt like a boulder rested on the center, pressing excruciatingly hard on his sternum. Every breath was a battle, each one becoming more and more difficult.
"Malcolm?!"
Thump-thump.
Dani.
For one single second her voice rose above the chaos and pain.
He willed his eyes to find her, but they weren't in his control. Multiple dark, shapeless figures moved in and out of what little vision he had.
The lights flickered, the shapes fading in and out of reality.
Thump.
They vanished completely. The darkness engulfed him like a warm blanket. It banished the boulder on his chest. Fear and worry fled from it. An overwhelming serenity spread throughout him, as all consciousness dissolved into non existence.
"You have five seconds to shoot me or I'm shooting you."
Dani's stomach lurched at the ultimatum. She tried to read Malcolm's response to it.
"Five."
She contemplated going for Joslynn's gun. But it was too risky, given she had just admitted to it being loaded with the remaining armor-piercing cartridge.
"Four."
What's the play, Malcolm? What are we doing?
"Three"
The look in his eyes shifted completely. The hardness, the determination faded. As he looked at her, the only thing she could see was utter adoration and love.
"Two"
Her chest tightened. Fear froze her, prevented her from breaking their eye contact, not that she would have anyway.
He won't risk the baby.
"One."
Dani's heart was pounding so hard it took her breath.
"I knew you didn't have it in you." Joslynn's arm rose quickly, "I do."
Malcolm stared into Dani's very soul, bearing his own to her as he did.
"NYPD!"
JT's voice broke their trance and Malcolm turned his head. For less than a second, relief washed over her. In that fraction of a moment, she thought they were saved, that for once, everything was going to work out the way it needed to.
Even though she was kneeling right next to Joslynn, Dani saw Malcolm's body jerk before she heard the shot.
His head whipped around and his eyes met hers. Then, he fell backward onto the dock with a nauseating thud.
A bone-chilling scream filled the air - the sound of absolute suffering and anguish. It took a second for Dani to realize it was coming from her. She rushed to Malcolm's side, as JT and the other officers sprinted down the dock.
Dani heard a splash, but didn't bother looking up. It didn't matter. Nothing else mattered but Malcolm. His head moved almost imperceptibly, as his eyes rolled back, the crystal blue that still captivated her disappearing.
"Malcolm!"
Even though the thought terrified her to her core, Dani forced herself to look down.
Oh, God.
Her hands flew to the wound, or rather where she assumed the wound was beneath Malcolm's vest and the plethora of blood.
"16 squad central, this is Tarmel. We need a bus. Officer down. 159 Bridge Park Drive, dock four." JT checked Malcolm's neck for a pulse.
Why didn't I do that? Dani thought.
"He has a pulse. GSW with armor-piercing ammo. About three inches left of center, his left. Close to navel line." JT knelt on the other side of the profiler.
"Malcolm! Please!" Dani begged. Blood seeped out of the hole in his vest, covering her fingers. "This isn't doing anything. We have to get this vest off!"
JT pulled a knife out of his pocket and carefully cut the shoulder straps of the vest. Dani's hands were so coated in his blood that she couldn't get a grip on the velcro on her side. She cursed, and wiped them off on her jeans, before finally getting the side straps open. They gingerly picked the vest up off of Malcolm.
Dani gasped. Both Malcolm's shirt and pants were dark to begin with, but they were still obviously saturated. When her hands found the wound this time, the fabric of his shirt squished as she pressed down, more crimson liquid covering her hands.
"Bright?!" JT tried to rouse him, as Dani pushed until her arms ached. "Shit, Dani I've got no pulse."
"What?"
"He's not breathing either. Emerson! Put pressure on this!"
Dani understood the plan and she allowed the officer to take her place while she moved up to Malcolm's head. Again, she wiped her hands on her jeans, but it did little to clean them. When she bent his head back, Malcolm's own blood on her hands streaked his hair and chin.
JT started compressions, counting as he went. The faint sounds of sirens crept achingly slow toward them.
"Go," JT ordered.
Dani gave two breaths to Malcolm and her partner started again.
"Please don't leave me," she begged. "I need you, Malcolm."
"Go."
Two breaths.
She caressed his cheek with her stained thumb, tears flowing down her own. "I love you," she whispered.
"Go!"
Two breaths.
"They're here," Emerson declared. The EMTs sprinted toward them, their footsteps shaking the dock.
When they reached them Dani stood, backing only just far enough to give the medics the room they needed.
"How long ago did we lose the pulse?"
"Just over a minute," JT answered, walking around to Dani.
When she had the chance to step back and truly see Malcolm, a frigid dread took hold of her chest and spread out to her extremities, slowly freezing her in place. The sight of his limp body being moved to the board stole her breath. The abundance of blood that covered his torso, that painted the dock beneath him, was horrifying. She'd never seen anyone survive that much blood loss.
She'd never seen anyone survive that much blood loss.
Just as her knees began to buckle, JT grabbed her around the waist, holding her up. "Not yet," he said, helping her walk as they followed the rushing medics down the dock. "He's still here."
Dani repeated the mantra as though doing so would keep Malcolm alive.
It had to.
Dani paced the waiting room, habitually checking her watch. 10:14. They'd been here for over three hours and the last she'd heard from anyone was when they told her she couldn't follow them through the doors to surgery. JT was looking at his phone, absentmindedly scrolling through news articles, when he got a text. She looked up expectantly, then rolled her eyes at her own stupidity. The hospital wouldn't be texting updates to JT.
"News about Gil?" she asked, hopefully?
He looked up at her after reading it, "I wish. No one at the hospital will say anything. Which I get, but it's annoying. I told a few of the guys to get over there a while ago. I haven't heard back from them. For all we know he could still be in surgery too, depending on how severe it was.
The thought of Gil needing to be in surgery for four hours was terrifying. But, they were over three so far with Malcolm, so she guessed that wasn't exactly a leap.
"Joslynn's been processed," JT informed her reading the message, "D.A. is pushing for no bail."
She nodded, and sat down next to him.
"Was she the splash I heard?" Dani remembered registering the sound but was so focused on Malcolm that she never bothered to look.
"Oh, yeah. She jumped and tried to swim away when she saw us coming. After…," He caught himself and didn't finish the sentence. JT watched her as she stared at the ground in front of her feet, picking at her cuticles nervously. "He's gonna make it," he assured.
She sniffed and wiped her nose, "You saw him, JT. All that blood." Her voice was monotone, practically lifeless.
"They'll give him blood. That doesn't matter."
"We're cops. We've seen some horrific things. But, that. When have we ever seen someone recover from something like that?"
"Today. Today is when we've seen someone recover from that. End of story."
Tears dripped onto her stained jeans. Then she raised her head to look at her partner, "How can you be so sure?"
"Because I've seen the way Bright looks at you. It's the same way I look at Tally. You're his everything. And he will walk through hellfire to come back to you, if that's what he has to do. Every minute you don't hear from them, is another minute we know he's still fighting in there. He's still here, Dani."
"He's still here," she whispered.
A few minutes passed, the two of them sitting in comfortable silence.
Dani broke it by turning and staring at JT, her brows furrowed.
"What?" he asked perplexed.
"How did you get out of those zip ties in the car?"
He sighed and looked around to make sure the other people in the waiting room weren't paying attention. "I head butted the horn until someone came to help me."
Dani couldn't help but laugh at the mental image.
"People in this city are way too tolerant sometimes. It was a good fifteen minutes before someone finally stepped over to the car."
She bit her cheek, trying not to smile, "They probably thought you were some crazy person having a psychotic break."
Ten minutes later she stood up abruptly, "Okay, I can't wait any longer. I'm going to see if someone can give me an update."
JT nodded.
While Dani was on her mission the officer who'd helped them with Malcolm, Emerson, entered through the sliding doors of the entrance. He found JT and inquired about Bright's condition.
"We don't know yet. Still in surgery. What's up?"
"So, I didn't want to text you this on the off chance that," he looked over his shoulder and around the room, "Dani would see it."
"What now?"
"Other than confirming her personal information, Joslynn wouldn't say a thing to anyone. She said the only person she would talk to is Powell."
"That's not happening," JT growled.
Emerson held his hands up in defense, "Oh, I know. We told her that. And she held out for a while."
Dani turned the corner from the restroom and saw the officer talking to JT. She immediately backed up and eavesdropped on the conversation.
Emerson continued, "But when she finally understood that there was no way we were bringing Dani to her, she told us to give her a message."
"Which was?" The detective crossed his arms, clearly over Joslynn's antics.
"She said to tell her: Now you know."
Dani slowly closed her eyes.
You're going to learn how utterly devastating that feels.
As quietly as she could, Dani ran back to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She broke out in a cold sweat, and leaned over the sink, bracing herself.
What if he doesn't make it? She thought.
Images from the past few months flashed before her eyes. A slideshow of moments that might be all she would ever get.
Malcolm disassembling Damian's gun.
The look in his eyes as they pressed against each other on Bennet's desk.
Malcolm's voice mixed with the visions.
I can make it if I run. I'll meet you on the platform. Can you do that?
I can't sit back and let Damian and Bennet do God knows what to the woman I-.
Dani's knees buckled at the last memory. The day she found out he was in love with her. That night's events scrolled by in a heady play by play.
You're what I want.
Their bodies entangled as their panting increased.
Malcolm's appeal for her climax.
I love you, Dani.
She started to hyperventilate. It felt like her ribcage was squeezing her heart and lungs, strangling the life out of them. Her hands shook uncontrollably and the room started to tilt. When it did, Dani heard a knock on the door.
"Powell?"
She couldn't get enough air to respond.
"Open the door, Dani."
Her head fell back against the wall and she sobbed between gasps for breath.
"Powell, you have one minute before I bust down this door!"
She turned her head and stared at the knob, unmoving. What did it matter? Nothing mattered without him.
"Ten seconds." JT warned.
She reached up and flipped the lock. Then sat back, eyes forward, practically catatonic.
When he peeked in and found her on the floor, tears streaming down her face, JT stepped in and seated himself next to her. He didn't say anything. Instead he sat there next to her, in supportive silence. After a minute or two, Dani slowly leaned to the side, and rested her head on his shoulder.
Twenty minutes later, Dani had worked through her breakdown, and cleaned herself up a bit, before returning to the waiting room. She was exhausted. They both were. But sleep wasn't anywhere within the realm of possibility.
JT's phone rang and he practically jumped out of his seat after answering it. "Yes, give me one second to step outside."
Dani watched him exit the doors anxiously. Mercifully, he returned in only a few short minutes.
"That was Jessica. She's been with Gil this whole time. Apparently he's been out of surgery for almost an hour. Docs are saying he's not out of the woods yet, but the surgery went well."
"Did you tell her about Malcolm?" Dani asked.
"Parts. She's had horrible service in the hospital. She said she went for a cup of coffee and her phone blew up. I didn't want to tell her over the phone, but I didn't really have much of a choice. Didn't go into a lot of detail. Just that Bright had been shot and was in surgery. She said she was going to get her driver to bring her here."
"That's good."
At that moment, a doctor slowly walked into the waiting room, still wearing his cap and mask. A few expectant faces watched him intently as he scanned the room. "Bright?"
Somehow, Dani managed to stand. The doctor noticed and approached them, asking that they follow him to the consultation room. Bile rose up her throat, it soured her mouth, as they sat in the chairs and the doctor closed the door behind them.
"I'm Doctor Farrell. We met very briefly when you got here a few hours ago."
Dani couldn't stand the formalities, immediately she blurted out, "Is he alive?"
"Yes."
Relief washed over her like warm sunshine. Tears of joy welled in her eyes.
"I'd like to apologize for the lack of information while you were waiting. That wasn't intentional. Things got… intense a few times. He had a few episodes that surprised us a little. But he's a fighter."
Dani couldn't keep from smiling, "Yeah. He is."
Dr. Farrell opened a file and pulled out x rays. "The bullet went through his vest, which initialized the fragmenting of the point. When it entered here," he pointed at Malcolm's lower abdomen, "it pierced multiple points in the small intestine. We ended up taking eleven inches of it out and reconnecting.
JT's mouth fell open, "Is that even possible?"
"With the small intestine, yes. Thankfully, there's almost 23 feet of it in most adults, so it's really not that horrible - despite how it sounds. The blood loss made the surgery tricky for us, but we adapted as best we could."
"When can I see him?" Dani asked.
"Shortly. His vitals are stabilizing still. He's going to be in ICU for the time being until we're more comfortable with his numbers. We will know more once he's awake and communicate with us."
"When will that be?"
"Based solely on anesthesia, any time in the next fifteen to twenty minutes. But, we have to remember, his body has been through a massive trauma. We had to give him four pints of blood."
The number made Dani's stomach lurch.
"But, he fought through."
Dani smiled, and breathed a sigh of relief once more, "He's still here."
Intermittent beeping.
At first it blended into his dreams, not that he remembered any of them. Given his track record, not remembering was far better than the alternative. Malcolm tried to open his eyes. He was in control of them, but the lids were incredibly heavy, and caked together. The thought of lifting his arm to wipe it was in itself exhausting. His body was depleted. There wasn't even enough strength left for him to groan. He put all he had into getting his eyes open. Slowly, they separated and he immediately closed them back. The room was too bright.
He blinked a few times in rapid succession, trying to help acclimate to the light.
And then he saw her.
Dani was curled up in the chair by his bed, a tangled mess of legs and arms. Her elbow rested on her knee and her head lay on her hand. She had dozed off.
Malcolm took a moment to appreciate the fact that he had just woken up. He didn't know all the details of what had happened, but he knew what he'd been shot with. And the likelihood of him surviving it was next to nothing. Waking up to this particular view, was just icing on the cake.
His lips curled up into a crooked grin.
"Da-" his throat was raspy. Malcolm cleared it and tried again, "Dani." It came out meeker than he'd hoped, but it got the job done. She jerked awake, took one look at him, and leapt from the chair.
"Malcolm!" She took his hand and caressed his cheek.
"Hey," he smiled.
"How do you feel?"
His stomach was on fire and his entire body ached from top to bottom.
"Like I got run over by a steam roller," he winced, as he tried to prop himself up.
"No, no, no. Stitches. Use the remote to adjust. I need to tell them you're awake." She rushed out of the room and to the nurse's station.
They checked his vitals and informed them both that the doctor would be coming to see him very soon.
Once the room was cleared again, Dani let him know that his mom and sister had just gone home for the night.
Malcolm nodded, then scrunched his eyebrows, contemplating whether or not he should ask something.
"What?" Dani inquired.
"How bad was it?"
She stared at him and swallowed, unable to put description to the feelings. Instead she tried to relay medical facts.
"The bullet hit your lower left abdomen, although you probably feel that. There was," she cleared her throat, as her voice broke, "there was a lot of blood. Um, Dr. Farrell said they had to give you four pints."
"Shit."
Dani nodded. "They removed eleven inches of your small intestine and reconnected. The bullet," again her voice cracked and she took a second to compose herself, "did what it was made to do."
So, it wasn't just that he almost died. The fact that he was laying here breathing was nothing short of a miracle.
And he wasn't the first of them to take one of those bullets.
When he realized that he didn't know his father's fate, "Gil?", was all he could manage to say.
"He made it through surgery. It sounds like he's got a much tougher road ahead of him than you do, but he's through the first phase."
He closed his eyes and rested his head back against the pillow. Dr. Farrell came in a few minutes later to check on him, discuss the procedure, and relay expectations for hospital stay and recovery.
"Because it's your digestive system, we need to be sure that everything's filtering and functioning correctly before we release you. So, depending on that and how your body is handling… everything else, I'm estimating a minimum of four days with us here. We will see how things go. Okay?"
"Okay. Thank you. So much."
"You're very welcome."
Malcolm watched the doctor leave, eyeing him until he was out of sight of the room window. Once he was far enough away, Malcolm laid his head back and sighed, "So, they know I'm detoxing."
"They do," Dani confirmed, "The doc hinted at it when he talked to us after surgery. Said you had a few 'episodes' on the table."
"What happens now?" He didn't look at her as he spoke, "Are they going to cuff me the minute I'm released?"
"I don't see how. Sure, they can recognize the signs of detox. But heroin, speedball those would've metabolized out of your system eight hours after each dose. There's nothing they can do about it legally anyway. Maybe they can give you something to help with it."
"Speaking of giant axes dangling over my head, what's going on with Michaels?"
"We sent two units to his place shortly after you went into surgery. He wasn't there, shocker. Brass has a warrant and put a BOLO out for him in all surrounding states. He can't fly, he can't cross the border, and he can't use a credit card. The Niners aren't nationally affiliated, either. Chris won't stay hidden for long.
"So, the drug test results should be thrown out?"
"Looks that way."
Malcolm allowed himself to smile, to feel hope, for the first time in weeks, he actually felt like they had a shot at surviving this, at happiness.
"So, then that just leaves one thing."
"Oh?" Dani eyed him speculatively.
"Well, my apartment is burned. And your apartment is burned," he looked at her the way a child looks at a present they have to wait to open, excitement glistening in his eyes. "So, I was thinking maybe we could get a new place. Together."
"What?"
"I love you, Dani. And if this entire saga has taught me anything, it's that life is far too fleeting to wait, when you know what you want. If you're not ready yet that's totally fine and it doesn't change how I feel. But if you are, I'd love to find a place with you. And make it ours."
She stood up, leaned over the railing of the bed, and carefully kissed him.
"That sounds wonderful."
As soon as Malcolm was released from the hospital, he demanded Dani take him to see his father. She wanted to argue, only because Malcolm was supposed to be very limited in his movements. But, she knew how important it was to him and gave the two men a moment together alone. He was grateful she did, because the minute Gil saw him and said, "Hey, kid," he completely broke down. The two embraced as best they could with their respective injuries, as Dani wiped a tear in the hallway.
In the three weeks that followed, and much to his chagrin, Malcolm and Dani stayed at his mother's. It was too risky to stay at either of their apartments, and she had the means to keep both of them comfortable as well as an incredibly helpful staff. Malcolm supervised Dani and the movers as they gradually packed both apartments. Jessica split her time between her home and Gil's, who had been released to home care.
One afternoon, Dani came bouncing in from work, dying to tell Malcolm some happy news.
"What is it?" he laughed. She reminded him of Ainsley when she got her first pony.
"You're not going to believe this. As soon as you're medically cleared, you're allowed to return to work."
"Are you serious? How?" If he had the ability to jump up from his chair, he would've.
"The judge waived the remainder of your deferred sentence at the request of Captain Martinez. Your record's officially clean."
She was right; he couldn't believe it. The two of them celebrated the rest of the day, culminating in their evening ritual: a sunset walk around the neighborhood.
Ten days later, Malcolm stood in the center of his empty apartment. He slowly turned, taking it all in one final time. So much had happened here. And despite it all, the positives vastly outweighed the negatives. While a part of him was sad to leave, another part was grateful for the opportunity to start anew. He and Dani found a perfect apartment in the West Village. She'd insisted on two bedrooms in addition to an office, at which he raised an eyebrow.
"Something I should know?" He jested.
"No," she smacked his shoulder playfully, "but if there ever were to be. You know, down the road. Then we wouldn't have to move again."
The fact that she had thought about them having a child together, melted him completely. He couldn't help but picture her, rounded belly and glowing, decorating a nursery. Nothing had made him happier in his entire life.
Dani pushed the already cracked door of the loft open. "You okay?"
Malcolm turned toward her and smiled, "Yeah."
He walked over to the counter and laid the keys on the granite, tapping them lovingly before stepping back. He wrapped his arm around Dani and the two took one last look at the place where they'd spent their first days together.
She reached up and kissed him, then held out her hand. "Come on. Let's go home."
Malcolm took it, following her to the door. He turned and grabbed the knob, as they exited. A smile slowly crept across his face and he closed the door.
It was finally over.